CONTEST WINNERS!

In this post yesterday, I shared an unusual request from a reader:
“One of my closest friends has a deep hatred of Axl Rose. His disdain is so profound, that when he hears a Guns ‘n Roses song, he envisions Axl Rose being attacked by Kriss Kross, when they were adolescent hip hoppers. He says he pictures this going on Celebrity Deathmatch style.”
“I’ve been struggling with what to get him for his 40th birthday next month, and I think this may be the answer. So I am asking Regretsy to help me find a talented artist who can make this Axl Rose debasement fantasy a reality.”
Well, you came through in a big way, as you always do. Your responses were brilliant, disturbing, and brilliantly disturbing. It was very difficult to pick a winner, because as you all know, there are no winners on Regretsy.
However, we did choose the entry we liked best, and we’ll be putting it on a doormat and selling it without permisison.
No, I kid. I kid because I love.
The winning artist will receive this:

A gift bag from the recent Los Angeles Regretsy meet-up!
Here’s what’s inside:
• Bags courtesy of Robot in Bloom
• Soap by Bubbly Creations
• Cards by Snow Girl Sun Girl on Etsy
• ACEOs and jewelry by Solo Cosmo on Etsy
• Bridal bags Angelia Christine on Etsy
• Eyeshadow sample from Unique Pigments
• Hairclips by Make it Sew Louisville
• Earrings and coupon by slipstreamblue
• Envelopes by grimmlyn
• Butthurt postcard by Risarocksit
• Con pin by KatScratchDesigns
• Goatse sticker by lovesickrobot
• Potty stickers by Cybele
• Cat cards by snowgirlsungirl
• CD’s by Voxwoman
• Cocksuckers by HomoSaysWhat
• Soap by luxsoap
• Notecards by 9minutes
• Keychains by azuraluna
• Magnets by Bad Day Enterprises
• CD’s by knitibranch
• Towel Mike postcard by Adrienne Jimenez
• Cool stickers that arrived too late for us to use, but still deserve mention, by 88kitty
I KNOW RIGHT
And now…
YOUR RUNNERS-UP
- Click on the thumbnails for a larger image and to leave a comment
THE WINNER

The brilliant Donna The Dead, for creating this amazing octopi necklace and modeling it on her killer rack.
Thanks to everyone for your unpleasant artwork!












January 25, 2012 at 1:04 pm
Grats Donna! I love your octopi!
January 25, 2012 at 2:44 pm
Congratulations Donna! I love your killer tatts on your killer rack! And, the necklace ain’t half bad either! >.<
January 25, 2012 at 4:20 pm
Congrats Donna! Such awesome sculpting and you made them so fast too! Great work!
I was scrolling down to read this post, I got to the part where it says “The winning artist will receive this:” and I scroll down and it’s the picture I posted on the forums of my grab bag stuff. And for a split second I was like “They get all my stuff? How am I suppose to send it to them?” and then I got a clue and was like “She’s just using your picture to represent the bag of goodies that they will get. Dumbass.” Derp derp derp.
January 25, 2012 at 4:24 pm
I love you, SNSG!
January 26, 2012 at 1:12 am
That’s what she said >..<~
January 25, 2012 at 1:12 pm
As an artist, I just find myself so totally outclassed by you FJLs and am now going to proceed to drink myself into a jealous coma
Ok, I was going to do that anyway, but still…
Damn, you’re good!
I loved all of them so much I couldn’t even comment on them individually
January 25, 2012 at 1:12 pm
The winning entry is amazingly good, but I am so in love with the one where Axl is wearing those GOD DAMNED FLAG SHORTS.
He found a look he liked, and he stuck with it. And that should be his legacy forever. Great work, losers!
January 25, 2012 at 4:02 pm
Welcome to the Jungle, Bitch is my favorite.
January 25, 2012 at 1:17 pm
I like them all… I’d make a shitty judge for a contest like that! Grats, Donna!
January 25, 2012 at 1:18 pm
wiggity wiggity wiggity Whack!
January 25, 2012 at 4:42 pm
Is that what Axle looks like now PLEASE GOD NO
January 25, 2012 at 6:25 pm
Start gathering up the confetti Axl – and embrace your future on stage as a Rip Taylor impersonator (actually this could add something new to Rip’s act!!)
January 25, 2012 at 1:21 pm
Crap-grats!
Also, when do the spare bags become available?! Please?
January 25, 2012 at 1:23 pm
Donna your octopi are amazing, though the .gif cracked me up.
I’m going to sit in a’ corner and cry though because I so want one of those bags.
January 25, 2012 at 3:23 pm
Congrats Donna (I also want one of her fun bags)!
January 25, 2012 at 4:02 pm
I see what you did there.
January 25, 2012 at 6:26 pm
The Octopi is boobalicious!!
January 25, 2012 at 1:25 pm
These are all amazing! It’s damn awesome that this community can turn out stuff like this so quickly. Then again we’re all fat bitches with no lives.
January 25, 2012 at 1:41 pm
I just realized I’m special and didn’t give April a link to post for my Towel Mike postcards. I don’t have an Etsy shop so it’s an empty profile. I only have an artblog right now at http://www.a-jimenez.posterous.com
January 25, 2012 at 1:36 pm
You guys are the best kinds of fucked in the head. Love these!
January 25, 2012 at 1:41 pm
I love them all! I hope Carriness finishes her drawing with color and posts.
January 25, 2012 at 1:54 pm
I DID send April a link to pimp my shit from the swag bag, but she forgot me or just hates me. Whatever. I’m not bothered. I donated a cross stitch pattern to all the FJLs at RegretsyCon.
*sobs silently in the corner*
Go buy my shit, you know you want to. Plus, I have lots of regretsy-themed patterns and shit. On Etsy, I’m PickleLadyFarm. I take WePay as payment, too!
January 25, 2012 at 2:22 pm
I’ve only cross stitched once or twice in my life, but I’m so using your pattern and displaying it lovingly above my bed.
January 25, 2012 at 1:55 pm
And people say true art is dead!
January 25, 2012 at 2:03 pm
I am totally in awe of everyone’s Artistic Ability. Given the number of times I was awakened at 2:00am by Axl Rose screaming “YOU PSYCHO BITCH!” at his girlfriend/fiancee/wife/ex-wife, he deserves this.
January 25, 2012 at 5:23 pm
Hold up, there’s a story here. Share with the class?
January 25, 2012 at 6:31 pm
He lived 2 doors up from me when he was involved with the Whichever Everly’s daughter back in the late 80s/early 90s. They had screaming matches that would carry out into the street just about every night. GOOD TIMES!
January 26, 2012 at 9:50 am
Ooooh! And what did she call him or did she just sob silently?
January 26, 2012 at 5:43 pm
Mostly incoherent screeches, a lot of crying, and dangerous driveaways. She did throw her apparently very expensive engagement ring into some bushes one time. The next day there were a bunch of day laborers hired to scour the hillside for it. I never heard if it ever got found.
January 25, 2012 at 2:21 pm
I see my magnets! Not my link though. Am I blind?
January 25, 2012 at 2:25 pm
Donna, I am so jealous of not only your ability to make things in your artistic ability, but also of the swag bag.
January 25, 2012 at 2:26 pm
I agree with the pic commenter who said we need a Regretsyish coloring book. That “Welcome To The Jungle, Bitch” entry is awesome.
Somebody (this means you, April), contact that FJL to draw up some more! How about an entire coloring book of the most absurd celebrity death matches we can think of, complete with catchy sayings?
January 25, 2012 at 2:29 pm
Donna…I love you! I mean that.
I’m jealous, but my love of your work greatly exceeds the jealousy.
January 25, 2012 at 2:30 pm
Also, if anyone’s interested, the Cocksuckers/HomoSaysWhat link is supposed to be
http://www.HOMOSAYSWHATstore.com
which redirects you so that I can take credit cards through WePay. So glad everyone liked the bags!
January 25, 2012 at 2:44 pm
Lovesickrobot’s store kicks major ass! I want a goaste sticker!
January 25, 2012 at 2:50 pm
Bummer! Sorry you couldn’t use my stickers – oh well, I’m sure they’ll be a hit at Petja-palooza!
January 25, 2012 at 2:54 pm
We JUST got them yesterday!
January 25, 2012 at 3:04 pm
Whuuut? We dropped them off at your mailbox on Thursday!
January 25, 2012 at 8:29 pm
Her mailbox is a TARDIS – 100x bigger on the inside and stuffed full of crazy-ass shit.
January 25, 2012 at 9:28 pm
Also known as the Clown Car Paradox. Now it makes sense!
January 25, 2012 at 2:57 pm
The octopuses necklace is pretty sweet. I love the gif, though. It’s fantastic.
January 26, 2012 at 1:09 am
I agree, the necklace is awesome! but I’m not sure the gift recipient will enjoy it that much if he’s not into regretsy, and he probably isn’t otherwise he’d know about this surprise by now, so I’d personally pick one of the 2-d items. Crap, I’d pick all of the entries and have them packed together!
January 25, 2012 at 2:58 pm
Thanks guys!
when I saw my little people in the runners up. And then I was like 8===D~~O:
At first I was like
Now I don’t know what to do with the little people diorama. Who wants to buy it for $100 so I can be guaranteed to get in at Petja-Palooza?
January 25, 2012 at 5:47 pm
To be honest, the little people diorama was and still is my favorite out of all of the entries. I love how it’s on a little canvas.
January 26, 2012 at 3:46 am
Hey Donna!
Was laughing at your octopi kriss kross axel necklace, and HAD to check out your etsy store … Both my girls came over my shoulder to check out what I was laughing at … Miss 9 and Miss 7 both LOVE your octopi necklaces!!! (They aren’t getting one without me tho!) They are amazeballs! I have them bookmarked as my favourites =) Thanks for sharing and putting in such a great effort!!!
January 25, 2012 at 3:04 pm
Brilliant. As usual, you artists outdid yourselves. I think they’re all winners and I’m sure it was hard to choose. Long live the fuckery.
January 25, 2012 at 3:38 pm
Couple of broken links in the swag list that need fixing.
January 25, 2012 at 5:04 pm
Not sure when the broken ones are going to get fixed, so here’s a working link to mine:
http://www.etsy.com/shop/slipstreamblue
January 25, 2012 at 3:43 pm
The link to my store leads to a “We can’t find it” page on Regretsy. It’s http://www.azuraluna.com/ if anyone is interested.
January 25, 2012 at 9:22 pm
It’s still not fixed. May I suggest making a post containing a few “Regretsy-banned” words to get Bronc’s attention?
Maybe… “întërwebz,” or “mêh.”
January 25, 2012 at 3:46 pm
UMMMMM< that link to the CON pin is not ME! Here is my site: http://katskratchdesigns.etsy.com
Problem is skratch is spelled with a K… Can you fix the link Helen? THANKS!
January 25, 2012 at 4:47 pm
Everyone should be portrayed as octopi all the time.
Seriously, this kicks ass. Also, those are some awesome tats.
January 25, 2012 at 5:03 pm
Congrats DTD! Normally I’m not big on octopuses outside of The Parasol Protectorate, but your’s are awesome.
January 25, 2012 at 5:06 pm
I love it! Congrats Donna! It’s very tit-illating!
January 25, 2012 at 6:32 pm
Axl looks totally like Guy Fieri with an even stupider haircut. It’s banana money in Flavortown!
January 25, 2012 at 9:20 pm
Unf, that gift bag. I am currently the most jealous fatty who ever losered.
January 25, 2012 at 10:11 pm
*highfive* Donna! You so deserve to win! Love your octopunks!
January 26, 2012 at 3:47 am
These are so badass!
I actually sat down and started drawing a submission, but then I fell asleep and didn’t wake up until just now. All I have to show for it is a sketch of Rose’s head and some crusty stuff at the corner of my mouth.
Ah well, these were better than anything I could have done! Grats, losers!
January 26, 2012 at 8:56 am
Donna I love your work! Your boobage makes my boobage so jealous.
Everyone check out Donna’s stabby pokey heart neklaces in her shop!!! I just bought one for Valentine;s Day! Can’t wait to wear!!!!!!!! Yes I’m yelling… I’m excited!
January 26, 2012 at 12:19 pm
Dude. BOOBS!!
–lifts shirt for a boobie bump–
January 26, 2012 at 4:07 pm
Why is Benny Hill stangling himself and wearing a false moustache next to obese Axl Rose?