MY TITS ARE ALLIGATORS
YOUR ARGUMENT IS INVALID
Well that’s one way to ward off roaming hands I guess…
You wouldn’t be able to say “hey, my eyes are up here” any more… because, well, YOUR TITS NOW HAVE EYES. And teeth.
Mind you, this would be totally appropriate to wear on the red carpet to the opening of the Teeth movie … http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yH8yuld4DUE
This is GLORIOUS. I will never be sexually harrassed at the club again.
To you think I can get the seller to make the heads animatronic? I want them to bite things.
GREAT MINDS THINK ALIKE
We would never be able to turn up at the same party. Talk about embarrassing.
After my breast reduction surgery, I’ll have one made with hamster heads.
Oh the photo opportunities.
I am totally serious. If it wasn’t for the price…
I mean this thing is so ridiculous it crosses over into amazing and I am tragically impulsive.
I WANT. THIS.
I also wish I could afford this. I would wear it when shopping, especially on days like Black Friday. “Back off, it’s MINE! If you try to take it from me, suffer the wrath of getting tit-bit!”
So many benefits! Guaranteed seating on public transport, being left alone to read your book, being sent home from work on a slow day…
“Tit-Bit” = awesome band name
Vertical Grimace–perfect! It would leave both hands free, unlike that amateur who used pepper spray.
If you can supply the Siamese cat fur and the crystals,I can get you a pair of alligator heads from the truck stop down the road for $20. That brings it into the realm of affordabity.
I think it says a lot about me that I just thought ‘Yeah, that’s actually a great idea…’
I live in Florida, I’m sure I can get some gator heads cheap.
Cheaper than a truck stop in Seffner?
I agree, awesomest alligator bustier ever!
I’d totally rock this.
“awesomest alligator head bustier ever” implies you have seen other alligator head bustiers?!
Me too. I want it with the burning hot passion of a thousand distant suns! It is sublimely wonderful.
I know the feeling.
It’s insane but awesome.
That is a great idea for these because without the heads moving and biting what’s the point?
Make them bellow like bull gator too.
I dunno: I know some Cajun guys who would be all over this.
(That’s not a swipe at Louisiana. I’m being serious.)
Is there “easy access” available through the gator heads ?
I, too, was wondering this. Could you breastfeed while wearing it? That’s the real question.
Wouldn’t it look like your baby was french kissing the croc? Or maybe more like the croc was eating the babies face … either would certainly give the folks who are squicked by nursing babies something to think about …
It would look like the croc is eating the baby, which if you could make it so the teeth wouldn’t hurt the baby, would be AWESOME. I would love to see the look on some nipple nazi’s face as she’s breastfeeding at the foodcourt in the mall if someone wearing this sat down next to her and started to breastfeed.
How about a top made with plush alligator heads for cups, that have snaps? The upper part could go over the baby’s head.
Hmm if I want to make one of these myself….I better get crocing.
I suppose I’d finish it sooner or gator.
How much time do you have to spend in the tanning bed to have a complexion that matches your tits?
See also: Nutria = BIG RAT
that’s a rat bustier?
and a poorly made one, even by rat bustier standards.
What’s unfortunate is that it can be a dietary staple for some. Apparently, my father lived off of nutria in college since it was so easy to hunt. Yay for growing up in the crazy south!!!
They should be earning their keep. Anyone else think of Sea Rat from Cowboy Bebop when they think of Nutria – except Nutria are a destructive invasive species of course.
It is my fervent wish that we find tasty and/or fashionable solutions to reduce/eliminate harmful invasive species. European Starling pie anyone? Maybe we can make some tasteful throws with a starling head fringe?
Ooh, I despise starlings. They are always so rude to the little house sparrows. We should definitely find a way to rid the U.S. of them.
Also, I remember a few years back, they tried to make nutria the new “it” fur. It didn’t work then and this seller needs to know it’s not working now.
For serious – behind habitat destruction and cats (which I think should be indoor for this reason among others BTW), European Starlings are among the worse offenders for songbird extinction in North America.
If you want to help out your local cavity nesting birdies you can try supplying bird houses that are not good for starlings with a entrance hole of 1-1/2″ or less.
Detest those starling too. Had a pair of woodpeckers who had 2 babies. Starlings wanted the hole in the tree and harasses the parents & killed the babies to get the nest. I know it’s nature, but was still so pissed I kept going out and using a hose with an attachment to shoot water in the hole. After 3 days those nasty things gave up and went somewhere else to nest!
Good advice. I have a Bluebird house as well as a wren house which the chickadees use while the wrens insist (4 years) on nesting in my folding beach/camping chairs (I just don’t get wrens but whose going to argue with such fierce cuties)?
And the worst thing – nutria at least have a use, and they were introduced for their fur. Starlings were introduced by a group of people who wanted to have, in North America, all the birds mentioned in Shakespeare’s plays. I’m not making this shit up. And it took them THREE TRYS before they got established.
There’s a reason that nobody cries for the dead starling. Well except for Clarice . . .
@Midnight Rambler: You beat me to it. I couldn’t believe that craziness when I read it…and why didn’t they stop at 2 tries?? I love birds something fierce, except for starlings.
They wanna come up to NYC and harvest in the subways? I hear gray is trendy this winter.
Call me when the jaws are motorized and I can flip a switch and make them go “CHOMP, CHOMP, CHOMP.”
What if they sang a song, too?
Do you remember the fillet o fish commercials? “Gimme that fillet o fish, gimme that fish…”
What would the alligators have to say? I wonder, but we may never know.
Dang, great minds, etc.
It needs to be Roy Scheider’s voice saying
“we’re going to need a bigger bust”
Maybe they can be made to “sing”, jaws flapping along to some aggravating cover of your choice. Currently torn between “Summer Nights” (left side does the female parts, right side does the male) and “Never Smile at a Crocodile”.
Need to make up a completely unique song about the alligators being the protectors of the tatas and any man who gets too close will lose a finger or a hand.
It should sing the Crocodile Rock.
More like Crocodile RACK! Amiright?
yeah but that would give Jeff Foxworthy a reason to tour again.
Crocodile Rock. Laaa la la la la laaa…
What about this? Schnappi, schnappi, schnappi….
i think i found what i’m getting married in.
I never thought one could live out such disparate 80′s movies fantasies all in one wardrobe! Dundee, meet Mad Max.
Two boobs enter…
That’s about what I was thinking… Something like Crocodile Dundee’s girlfriend’s lingerie.
Who wore it better: Terri Irwin or Crocodile Dundee’s Sue?
I was thinking more Xena Warrior princess but from the bayou…
Put this on Gabrielle and we have a DEAL! Nom. Nom. Nom.
That Bustier is nipping out.
I want one with spring-loaded gator heads, so I can attack from a distance.
Even better if they were connected to a taser.
I must be going crazy, because the first thing I thought of was that it was ridiculously underpriced. Somewhere, some crazy fucker will pay at least $400 for that thing.
That’s what I came here to say! I expected an item with two BIG, genuine animal skulls on it (not to mention fur) to cost more.
That’s what I was thinking. Two alligators gave up their lives for this for only $180…well, and a giant rat or two did as well. Some weirdo with some alligator titty fetish would pay big bucks for it.
I would really love this but I think the rhinestones are kind of tacky.
Just the rhinestones are tacky. I agree.
Act now and we’ll throw in a free Wooly Mammoth codpiece!
But does it come in large sizes for busty women? And would there be an option for breast feeding? I will need that soon.
Yeah, but you have to wrangle the crocs yourself.
Always a catch. But it might be worth it for the extra room and comfort. I’m sure this would be an acceptable alternative to the breast feeding bra.
Damn. Based on the headline, I was hoping there was going to be comfortable, brightly-colored, rubber footwear involved.
Tonight you have spoiled me. I’d just told my sister that unless she picked one of those hats she couldn’t attend my wedding, and now, damn you, you post those crocs. If you have a skirt and shoes post ready to go then make it quick, cos our budget is not big enough for all of this fuckery. even at that bargain basement price.
This is one of those times I’m actually thrilled to see it on a real person. The model does not look comfortable, but that could be because she is trying to keep a turkey-gator hybrid from falling off of her head.
The ‘gators sit higher up than I was expecting. I assumed the wearer’s nipples were supposed to be centred in their open mouths.
the nipplies are a chin-rest for the crocs. Otherwise they would flap around…
I’ll never look at alligators the same way again…
I, conversely, shall continue to look at them with awed terror whether they’re crawling around in a swamp or staring glassily at me from some chick’s sternum.
Do you think wearing the matching feathered head-dress would be too much?
Only if you get the skirt, you must get the skirt.
But what shoes would I wear?
Crocs are NEVER the right shoes.
Don’t forget to add shoe clips (preferably of rat fur, rhinestones and feathers as well)!
I am oddly in love with that headdress. I would wear this out… perhaps grocery shopping?
I want to wear the whole ensemble to Christmas in July at camp this summer.
Stare deeply into my alligator eyes. And by that I mean, look at my tits.
You mean “Excuse me, my tits are down HERE?”
The resemblance to my ex-wife is Uncanny.
You mean the sharp toothed reptiles?
Does this remind anyone else of being at Ringling Bros. Circus as a kid? I think I would wear it for sentimental value alone.
That and it would be the only way I could safely walk around NYC alone at night. Although, all the streetwalkers might get jealous of the Mighty Croc Tits! It might start a fight.
Fuck me running. The road kill shawl is a now not an option either.
There are very few things more fashionable then wearing dead predatory animals on your tits. I’m surprised this hasn’t gone mainstream yet.
It’s to go with the gator “paws” on the other chick’s head.
i feel like there needs to be a cod piece to match. that is really the only suitable option for him to show up in with you wearing this. you could play down on the bayou in the bedroom.
Only if the codpiece is made from an actual cod. Gotta stay with the aquatic theme, you know?
My, what perky crocs you have!
The better to scare you with my dear!
“In support of the organization to utilize more of the nutria”??
Nutria, over sized swamp rats that are actually more like otters. I hear they’re tasty, but I’m just not enough of a coonass to try it… yet.
In my real life I’m a reporter in Buttfuck Swampland, Louisiana, the land of the nutria. Nutria are big hideous swamp rats that were imported to America for the fur trade, and then set loose when the fur industry bombed. Unfortunately, they reproduce really quickly and love to eat wetlands and burrow in flood-protection levees. Nutria eat so many of our wetlands in Louisiana that the state actually pays coonasses $5 to shoot them en masse and cut off their tails to turn in for bounty. People hope that if there was some kind of market for nutria fur again we might be able to get more people to kill them. In fact, at one point, there was a campaign to try to get people in Louisiana to eat nutria. But in a state where people will eat just about anything, they couldn’t get the Cajuns interested.
If Cajuns won’t eat it/can’t make it taste good there is no hope.
Oh joy! I’ve found what I’m going to wear for my audition for the next Conan movie!
SOMEONE CALL LADY GAGA, STAT! She must know.
This is one of the most beautiful bits of whimsicality I have ever seen.
Just because you have needle, thread, and a couple of aligators heads DOES NOT MEAN you should make clothing out of it.
However, the more I think about it, the more I think this is a great costume piece… for someone else.
Maybe the person, who made it, was just compelled to make it? Sometimes I feel like I must create…and they are promoting the use of animal parts that most of us would just throw away. It’s called being green, or being a total weirdo…still, it’s somehow good for the planet and someone has to think of it as art somehow.
All I had to read was “Alligator” and “Nutria” to know that this had to be produced in my home state of Louisiana, sigh.
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Can it possibly be?…..THE UGLIEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN?
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I’ve seen uglier things.
Yeah, you obviously haven’t been here long enough.
Oh I been here a minute. I just think this is so terribly ugly. Really.
Mammary dentata will now be one more psychological nightmare for some poor guys out there.
My extensive online research on snatch dentata also brought up this piece that could be worn at the same time:
Aren’t we just a bunch of delicate little flowers?
What a wonderful phrase
Ain’t no passing craaaaze
It means no fingers, for the rest of your days
You were hoping to get lucky
But her boobs are snappy
Yeah you wanted a grope free
But her chest is toothy
I totally read that link as “vagina dentata COSTUME distributed at the world cup”. Needless to say, I was confused and curious.
After reading that article you linked I’m:
-wholly disgusted by many of those comments
-probably reading into your wording too much
-completely glad I’m back on Regretsy laughing at silly crocodile heads on clothes.
some of the comments were a bit creepy :/
I see the team suits for the next summer games! It’s all about psyching your opponent out, you know.
I’ve heard of snappy dressers, but this is ridiculous.
Yuck! Dead alligators and rat fur… Yes, nutria are the largest of the rats:(
My Mama says that these titties are ornery ’cause they got all them teeth and no toothbrush.
Alligutria bustier. The perfect gift for the woman who has everything, and whose guts you hate.
Or who is chock full of fuckery. Either way, you get one hell of a reveal when this is opened.
Why is I have less problem with the idea of wearing alligator heads on my tits than wearing nutria skins anywhere on my body?
I’m putting money in my Jesus Saves piggy bank and waiting with baited breath for the manfolk version. Maybe a Snapping Turtle head with sewer rat fur codpiece? Ooooh, I’m all tingly thinking about it.
All crocs are fashion no-nos.
This thing is just such a croc of tit.
I think she’s a Forsworn looter. Which of course means she’s carrying no good weapons or loot.
You can sell the head-dresses for a fair bit in Markath.
But she can see you sneaking up on her from 200 yards away.
That bustier could give you really hard nips.
Now EVERYONE is going to be wearing this at Burning Man.
Someone play music. Her savage breast is in need of soothing.
Um, is it weird that I want this with all of my body and soul? I could totally traumatize my three kids by wearing this.
just curious, any of you lot notice this one?
Someone PLEASE wear this to the meet up!
Well, at least the Crocs look PERKY.
Although I know that gay parents are no more likely to have gay children, I have to imagine that if Liberace had children, this is why they would end up gay…
…or in an asylum.
(Actually, Liberace was a pretty cool guy. I went trick-or-treating at his house when I was 4. True story. No, I didn’t go inside.)
If I were a drag queen I would fight other bitches for the number one place in the purchase line.
Hey, the price went up! I just went to the item page and this piece of glory is $210 now. IS THERE NO MERCY?
Didn’t Kate Winslet wear this to the Golden Globes last night?
Tonight at 10:00 – when boobs attack!!
I see nothing wrong with this. Of course I have been playing Skyrim for about a month and a half and completely rejecting human contact so that might have something to do with it.
Guys, try motorboating up in that.
I wish I could see what the people that craft things like this look like. I mean, she’s selling this beauty. What treasures is she keeping for herself and her grocery shopping trips?
I think this amazing piece would look fabulous with the headgear from the previous post. The one with the antlers…..I wish i could take credit for that idea , but it was actually my husbands……
This is the greatest thing in the world. Who doesn’t want alligator tittys??
Great strides have been made in the development of booby traps.
It’s keg day at the office, so when I first saw this, the coworker and I had the following convo:
“Are those unicorn horns? Like, alligator-unicorn heads?”
“No, it’s the straps.”
“Oh. I’d totally buy a unigator bra. Wear that shit under a little black dress. I’d be the belle of the ball.”
“Horns over or under the bustline?”
i adore this! Its brill!
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