I know this is really, really horribly wrong, but what came to mind when I saw that doll was the bodies that washed up after hurricane Katrina. I know, I am going to hell for even thinking it.
Do you really want to know the answer to that question? Because there are stores specifically aimed at strippers. Some are very “high end” as in stuff that is very high quality and very expensive, but still manages to look cheap. Like your average woman can buy a cheap schoolgirl outfit or stripper heels or whatever, and they will wear it fewer than five times and if it falls apart, big deal. But strippers actually need to buy high quality skanky outfits because they wear them for work day after day. I briefly dated a guy who’s ex was a stripper, and he talked about it constantly, and pointed out all the stores in San Francisco that cater to them. Creepy.
God, seriously. I teach 8th grade. Thankfully we have uniforms, because when I see what the girls wear on non-uniform days, I wonder why they all want to dress like streetwalkers.
Yup. My (now ex-)baby girl’s in Y8… The school’s given up trying to ban those little Lycra minis that came back in last year, so she now has figure-hugging school uniform.
I really really like those shoes and I know it’s probably wrong but they are platformy and shiny and I would never be able to wear them without resembling an aging, overweight camel tottering around looking for my drink/purse/phone.
Good point! I’m just really curious as to why they’d go through all that trouble? Maybe things sell better when they’re not ambiguously floating in space….
I would be willing to bet that since they didn’t say “Louboutin” in the description that the heels you will receive will not actually be Louboutins. Just a guess.
More like it just looks high as fuck. On what, I’ve no idea, but the trip really doesn’t look like much fun. Especially whilst being “hugged and loved”.
Or death! “Die with dignity in your old age by slipping in the shower, only to be found two weeks later so swollen up they dont know whether you’re man or sofa!” -Grandpa Simpson
I tried wearing heels that high for Halloween once. They were over-the-thigh silver boots, and I was supposed to be Captain Kirk’s bitch of the week. I was in so much pain. Never fucking again.
I wore heels that high once. The next day I felt like all the bones in my feet were broken, and I didn’t even have to fall over. Of course, mine were much more fabulous than those sparkly ones.
I’m 5’8″ without heels… I tried on a pair of those once and almost felt dizzy they made me so tall. I have one pair over 3″ and only wear them when I need to be in “power” mode.
Scariest high heel story I know: My sister wore high heels for a student fashion show once, and the next day she ached from her lower back up to her head, and she could barely stand to move her neck. It hurt so bad she missed all of her classes, and was seriously thinking she might have meningitis or something. It calmed down, and she thought it was some sort of fluke until her fashion design major friend called her up for another favor and…bam. Super achy SisterRaptor.
Maybe the reseller is hoping for some revenue from the Icy Hot tie-in. Mention a pain relief product in your title and description, and then wait for a check when somebody stops into the pharmacy after a Swarovski-encrusted sprain.
I’m 5’11 and wear heels all the times, but not much over 3″ usually. It really depends on the shoes, though. I have some 4 inchers that are actually really comfortable and easy to walk in, for miles even. No- really!
And yes, I am a giantess in heels, but I have huge size 11 feet and if I’m not wearing heels, most flat shoes make me look like I’m wearing skis. And like I said, I’m 5’11- I’m taller than just about everyone anyway.
Fucking ‘ell! I never talk about shoes this much. Yes, I have been out drinking rather heavily this evening…
Anyway, yep- those shoes are skanky, and the mega-high platform heel thing is just stupid as shit in general.
By tiny little Chinese toddler hands, and their attention to detail is incredible—and the factory conditions have improved so much. Nowadays they rarely get carpel tunnel syndrome before the age of 12!
A vintage dish drainer????? Man….I got all kinds of vintage crap around here.
A vintage pot, a few good pairs of vintage socks,a vintage sink and hey, I’ll even throw in a few vintage books.
Apparently vintage means…I got this 20 years ago and even though it’s crap..some hipster will buy it.
I’m seriously in the wrong line of work.
Translation: I bought this and never used it, and it’s been sitting in my garage ever since. Now it’s all grungy and fucked up, and mice have chewed holes in the plastic and I’d be lucky to get a buck for it at a yard sale, so… Let’s call it vintage and sell it on Etsy!
I am totally getting in on this scam, and if anything sells, the money’s going to April’s fund. fiksuvittu.etsy.com (nothing there yet, but just you wait).
I know it’s funny! I specialize in kitchenwares, and had someone contact me asking me to find this very one for her. For some reason, she felt particular about its size. It took me a couple of years to find the exact one. I listed it, emailed her, and within a few days, it was sold!
I was trying to figure out who on earth would think a dish drainer was worth $30, and why a “Vintage 80′s” dish drainer would be of interest to anyone anywhere, other than my crazy mother, who is one of those antique freaks that thinks anything over 20 years old is valuable beyond all reason.
But those aren’t the good ones! Not like they made them in the 80′s! The 20 year old plastic that will last 10,000 years is so much more durable than the new cheap plastic that will last 10,000 years!
+4
inmediasres
January 13, 2012 at 6:21 pm
I don’t know if it’s a good thing or not that my brain is starting to think like April. Before I scrolled down to see the comparison for the doll, I thought of Precious.
Also, I think I’m going to have to start using the phrase SUBMISSION TO SELF at random for a few giggles.
I’m seriously tempted to open an Etsy shop…just to see how much “vintage” garbage I can sell.
My mother keeps freaking everything, she’s not quite a hoarder..but damn close. I know I can dig up crap and take whimsy filled photos.
I think part of me just died…just a little. That’s….so sad.
And yet I am hopeful that I can now set up a shop and see how much junk I can sell for an outrageous price.
She does sell two “genuine Christian Louboutin” shoes at about twice the retail because she “strasses” them with crystals. For the pink shoes she shows one original next to one strassed.
For the white peep-toe, she’s using some incredibly clear crystals. The shoes look like they came right out of the box, untouched. Magnificent work. (Where’s the sarcasm emoticon when I need it?)
Target had a bunch of fox and owl handbags that were actually almost the same, but slightly cuter. And last time I checked, they were in the clearance area.
To be fair, it really looks like the E-Bay one is cheaply made. The Etsy one is leather, and it has a bigger copper button. The Etsy one is much nicer. There have been a bunch of times I’ve really liked something that was cheaply made and wished there was a well made version of it, or made myself a better quality copy of something cheap. I think that might be what the seller did.
See, I don’t get it. I was in elementary school when those things became popular, and I seemed to be just about the only kid around (although there were plenty of adults too) who thought they were creepy as hell. The ultra close-set eyes, the funny pinched noses, the texture of overstuffed pantyhose . . . *shudder*
Nope, give me my Strawberry Shortcakes and MLPs any day. Hell, I’ll even take the Smurfs.
My Cabbage Patches dressed entirely in crochet-ed muumuus made by an elderly lady down the street. It somehow made them more disturbing. I don’t even know where we got them – I don’t remember ever liking them, and we rarely had their original outfits. Yet, there were so many.
I was to old for dolls when they came out but detested them from the start. That no teeth thing – not like a baby but like an old person without dentures- is just WAY too weird.
Shouldn’t have clicked the toilet link. Shouldn’t have clicked the toilet link. Shouldn’t have clicked the toilet link. Shouldn’t have clicked the toilet link…
Why is a 40-year-old plastic pack of disposable tissues in vintage condition? I have had dozens of tissue packs in my purse in the last nine months (they give them out like crazy in Tokyo even though it’s gauche to blow your nose in public. Not every public restroom supplies toilet paper). They don’t look like that after a few hours, much less days, much less decades.
There is no way that thing is “Vintage” I saw that pattern on sale a couple years ago. Anything like that from the 60′s would have been made of cellophane and probably disintegrated decades ago. This woman must be ill.
Fake fake fake fake fake fake!
The only reason the Etsy store can sell those shoes for 100 dollars less is because they are both fake! The real Swarovski Louboutin shoes cost about $2895 (if I remember the number correctly).
I dunno regretsy, I think maybe you got this one wrong (and I hate resellers). The press on her website (from the fox bag) makes it look like she makes the things herself; I think the Chinese version may be a knock-off. Are you really encouraging people to buy the knockoff version, or making fun of an Etsy seller because a Chinese company managed to copy her design for much cheaper due to (likely) having it made in a sweatshop?
Seems like a miss, unless you really didn’t think the Etsy seller was making them herself, in which case did you not look at her blog? Do some research?
• The press on her web site says that “everything is made by hand.” It doesn’t say whose hands, or how many.
• The site directs you where to go for “wholesale inquiries.” That sounds a little like wholesale to me, but maybe it’s the word “wholesale” that threw me off.
• She counts Modcloth among her customers, which is not exactly a Mom and Pop operation, as well as a few other large European outlets. Maybe she just drinks a lot of coffee.
I’m not saying the bag hasn’t been knocked off; it’s very possible. But whether she wholesales them or other people do, it’s mass-produced and cheaper elsewhere.
Did anyone else look at the dishdrainer lady’s sold items? Not only does she have vintage can openers, ladles and ice cream scoops as well as a “rustic” muffin tin (which was apparently “just what [the buyer, a.k.a the only person in America who didn't already have a rusty old muffin tin in their kitchen] needed”), she also has this gem:
“With the money for this card, we will buy George another paint by number kit from a garage sale or thrift shop so he can use the paints and canvas for another round of art, now that I know how fond he is of painting.”
I was a little iffy on seeing the doll juxtaposed with “Precious…” but “Playpal” reminded me of Paypal and the circle of wrongness was closed. I still love you guy.
The dollhouse doesn’t look like a reseller to me. It looks more like the Polish disney font place is ripping off the etsy one, maybe they traced the other design? The wood is different, the cutting quality looks different. Or is it just me who thinks so?
My guess is that it’s a pattern you can buy for a laser cutter, and the Etsy seller is selling one that they actually made with their programmable laser cutter, but they didn’t design, and the Polish place used the same program. It’s the same as computerized embroidery.
IIRC some of the die-cut kits are far flimsier and of course cheaper (The disney font one doesn’t have visible laser ‘kerf’??), alas the laser cut ones really should not have used the same templates, but i agree, i don’t think they’re a reseller.
That doll seriously reminds me of the pantyhose “Cabbage Patch” dolls my great grandma used to make. They weren’t as chubby, but they had ceramic heads and were pretty interesting.
I hope that one doesn’t come with vintage Old Person™ smell. The memory of that smell is stifling, as much as I hardly ever saw her.
My dad had an old lady custom make a Mr T fake Cabbage Patch Kid, for my little brother. It totally smelled like that, but was awesome, nonetheless. I think he still has it, I think it still smells like that, and has only gotten more and more awesome.
I hope you have had it appraised and listed in your will, or there might be some nasty fights over it when you’re gone=—and you won’t be around to enjoy that!
There is no way the word “comfortable” belongs in a sentence describing those shoes, unless the sentence is something along the lines of “these would never be comfortable in a million years”. I’m getting foot cramps just looking at those things!
January 13, 2012 at 6:05 pm
All I can think about is Garbage Pail Kids.
January 13, 2012 at 6:08 pm
aww you leave precious alone!
January 13, 2012 at 6:49 pm
I know this is really, really horribly wrong, but what came to mind when I saw that doll was the bodies that washed up after hurricane Katrina. I know, I am going to hell for even thinking it.
January 13, 2012 at 7:29 pm
If it is horribly wrong then I’m in the same boat — The same boat that is looking at bloated bodies from Katrina. Thought the same thing.
January 13, 2012 at 7:34 pm
I know I was thinking that that doll is NOT child friendly.
January 13, 2012 at 8:08 pm
I was thinking about the devil doll from Trilogy of Terror.
January 13, 2012 at 9:52 pm
Naw, He Who Kills is a weedy little thing.
January 13, 2012 at 8:29 pm
I was also thinking floater, but not specifically Katrina.
January 13, 2012 at 9:18 pm
The fact that it’s wearing a t-shirt with a fishing theme makes it even more… um… if someone finds a word better than “ghastly,” let me know.
ETA: found a better word. “Gggrrrrgggllllgh!”
January 14, 2012 at 4:17 pm
Did you mean “RAWGRLRLR LRRLGLRL”? That’s what the murlocs in World of Warcraft say.
[Goes back to bed in shame, with bag of Funyuns.]
January 14, 2012 at 7:08 pm
I thought the same. The face is too scary for a regular Cabbage Patch Kid. (I actually had/have some of the latter.)
January 13, 2012 at 6:07 pm
Or you could just NOT buy those ugly shoes and save $425.
January 13, 2012 at 7:00 pm
I like those shoes! (Can’t rationalize spending half a mortgage payment on shoes though!)
January 13, 2012 at 7:32 pm
Where DO strippers buy shoes, anyway? Are they the market for these, or is there some chain of seedy boutiques they all frequent?
January 14, 2012 at 3:49 pm
Do you really want to know the answer to that question? Because there are stores specifically aimed at strippers. Some are very “high end” as in stuff that is very high quality and very expensive, but still manages to look cheap. Like your average woman can buy a cheap schoolgirl outfit or stripper heels or whatever, and they will wear it fewer than five times and if it falls apart, big deal. But strippers actually need to buy high quality skanky outfits because they wear them for work day after day. I briefly dated a guy who’s ex was a stripper, and he talked about it constantly, and pointed out all the stores in San Francisco that cater to them. Creepy.
January 14, 2012 at 4:44 pm
Most porn stores have a ‘stripper’ section.
I mean, so I’ve heard.
January 13, 2012 at 7:33 pm
Or are they just victimizing girls in their early teens who are unable to distinguish between “glamorous” and “skank,” the way I was at that age?
January 13, 2012 at 8:08 pm
Hopefully girls in their early teens don’t have $425 to spend on a pair of shoes.
January 14, 2012 at 2:26 pm
Sadly too many do. (Of course, for these shoes ONE is too man).
January 13, 2012 at 10:05 pm
God, seriously. I teach 8th grade. Thankfully we have uniforms, because when I see what the girls wear on non-uniform days, I wonder why they all want to dress like streetwalkers.
January 14, 2012 at 5:05 am
Yup. My (now ex-)baby girl’s in Y8… The school’s given up trying to ban those little Lycra minis that came back in last year, so she now has figure-hugging school uniform.
January 14, 2012 at 5:14 am
you have an ex-daughter?
January 13, 2012 at 7:57 pm
I really really like those shoes and I know it’s probably wrong but they are platformy and shiny and I would never be able to wear them without resembling an aging, overweight camel tottering around looking for my drink/purse/phone.
January 14, 2012 at 3:50 pm
me too.
January 13, 2012 at 9:45 pm
But the designer has a weird name, ugly hair, and says “Betch” all the time! It must be so chic!
January 13, 2012 at 6:08 pm
I nearly just died.
January 13, 2012 at 7:58 pm
Of fright when you saw that doll? It’s terrifying.
January 14, 2012 at 4:18 pm
Kids with elephantiasis want dolls that look them? Maybe? I literally shuddered when I saw it.
January 13, 2012 at 6:08 pm
Swarovski Encrusted Dafodil Platform Heels…
$425
A reseller that can’t be bothered to take their own pics…
PRICELESS
January 13, 2012 at 6:10 pm
At least it looks like they put in a faux horizon line via photoshop…
January 13, 2012 at 6:28 pm
Good call. I now know where the $95 dollars goes. Purchasing photoshop and the 5 seconds it took to throw in the line.
January 13, 2012 at 6:54 pm
Good point! I’m just really curious as to why they’d go through all that trouble? Maybe things sell better when they’re not ambiguously floating in space….
January 14, 2012 at 5:02 am
Do you really think a reseller pays for software?
January 13, 2012 at 6:58 pm
I would be willing to bet that since they didn’t say “Louboutin” in the description that the heels you will receive will not actually be Louboutins. Just a guess.
January 14, 2012 at 5:17 am
Yeah, I’ve seen knockoffs on eBay for under $50. You could save even more! (still ugly, though.)
January 14, 2012 at 4:30 pm
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January 13, 2012 at 7:37 pm
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January 16, 2012 at 10:15 pm
I don’t even want to know why is takes 2-3 WEEKS to ship shoes they’re not even manufacturing.
January 13, 2012 at 6:09 pm
That doll’s face is a nice mix of utter despair and “I don’t give a fuck.” Perfect for that toddler in your life that you hate.
January 13, 2012 at 6:13 pm
More like it just looks high as fuck. On what, I’ve no idea, but the trip really doesn’t look like much fun. Especially whilst being “hugged and loved”.
January 13, 2012 at 7:49 pm
Or death! “Die with dignity in your old age by slipping in the shower, only to be found two weeks later so swollen up they dont know whether you’re man or sofa!” -Grandpa Simpson
January 13, 2012 at 6:09 pm
i just don’t get the whole mega high platform pump craze. i can break my ankle for way cheaper and in much more entertaining ways.
January 13, 2012 at 6:52 pm
I tried wearing heels that high for Halloween once. They were over-the-thigh silver boots, and I was supposed to be Captain Kirk’s bitch of the week. I was in so much pain. Never fucking again.
January 13, 2012 at 8:10 pm
I wore heels that high once. The next day I felt like all the bones in my feet were broken, and I didn’t even have to fall over. Of course, mine were much more fabulous than those sparkly ones.
January 13, 2012 at 9:11 pm
I wear heels that high all the time. “Fabulous” takes practice
Don’t ask me to go on a jog with you in them though!
January 14, 2012 at 5:35 am
I’m 5’0 and I used to walk on stilts.
The trick to platform shoes is the incline from your toes to your heels: shallower incline = better, no incline at all = best.
January 14, 2012 at 4:47 pm
MY trick to platform shoes is not just wear my flip flops.
January 13, 2012 at 8:48 pm
I’m 5’8″ without heels… I tried on a pair of those once and almost felt dizzy they made me so tall. I have one pair over 3″ and only wear them when I need to be in “power” mode.
January 14, 2012 at 5:37 am
Do you find the 3″+ ones make you feel like all the doorknobs have suddenly shifted?
January 13, 2012 at 9:18 pm
Scariest high heel story I know: My sister wore high heels for a student fashion show once, and the next day she ached from her lower back up to her head, and she could barely stand to move her neck. It hurt so bad she missed all of her classes, and was seriously thinking she might have meningitis or something. It calmed down, and she thought it was some sort of fluke until her fashion design major friend called her up for another favor and…bam. Super achy SisterRaptor.
January 13, 2012 at 10:22 pm
Maybe the reseller is hoping for some revenue from the Icy Hot tie-in. Mention a pain relief product in your title and description, and then wait for a check when somebody stops into the pharmacy after a Swarovski-encrusted sprain.
January 14, 2012 at 12:06 am
I’m 5’11 and wear heels all the times, but not much over 3″ usually. It really depends on the shoes, though. I have some 4 inchers that are actually really comfortable and easy to walk in, for miles even. No- really!
And yes, I am a giantess in heels, but I have huge size 11 feet and if I’m not wearing heels, most flat shoes make me look like I’m wearing skis. And like I said, I’m 5’11- I’m taller than just about everyone anyway.
Fucking ‘ell! I never talk about shoes this much. Yes, I have been out drinking rather heavily this evening…
Anyway, yep- those shoes are skanky, and the mega-high platform heel thing is just stupid as shit in general.
January 13, 2012 at 6:16 pm
But each crystal is applied by hand!
January 13, 2012 at 6:19 pm
By tiny little Chinese toddler hands, and their attention to detail is incredible—and the factory conditions have improved so much. Nowadays they rarely get carpel tunnel syndrome before the age of 12!
January 13, 2012 at 6:53 pm
Tiny fingers make the best stitches!
January 13, 2012 at 6:17 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
January 13, 2012 at 9:48 pm
Hahaha, you’re hilarious.
No wait, not that. What’s that other word?
Oh yeah: Racist.
January 14, 2012 at 6:51 am
Yeah, except they’re referencing a scene in the movie Precious, which is PUT IN THE ACTUAL POST where Precious steals a bunch of chicken.
January 13, 2012 at 6:20 pm
A vintage dish drainer????? Man….I got all kinds of vintage crap around here.
A vintage pot, a few good pairs of vintage socks,a vintage sink and hey, I’ll even throw in a few vintage books.
Apparently vintage means…I got this 20 years ago and even though it’s crap..some hipster will buy it.
I’m seriously in the wrong line of work.
January 13, 2012 at 6:56 pm
Translation: I bought this and never used it, and it’s been sitting in my garage ever since. Now it’s all grungy and fucked up, and mice have chewed holes in the plastic and I’d be lucky to get a buck for it at a yard sale, so… Let’s call it vintage and sell it on Etsy!
I am totally getting in on this scam, and if anything sells, the money’s going to April’s fund. fiksuvittu.etsy.com (nothing there yet, but just you wait).
January 13, 2012 at 8:12 pm
I have a vintage washing basket and a vintage ironing board. They’re broken, but that just adds to their charm.
January 14, 2012 at 2:31 pm
No, no, not broken but “showing the scars of loving use.”
January 13, 2012 at 9:01 pm
I’ve got a vintage dishrack to go with the drainer.
January 14, 2012 at 8:00 am
I have some vintage bills people could buy and pay…
January 14, 2012 at 8:27 am
I know it’s funny! I specialize in kitchenwares, and had someone contact me asking me to find this very one for her. For some reason, she felt particular about its size. It took me a couple of years to find the exact one. I listed it, emailed her, and within a few days, it was sold!
January 14, 2012 at 3:57 pm
I was trying to figure out who on earth would think a dish drainer was worth $30, and why a “Vintage 80′s” dish drainer would be of interest to anyone anywhere, other than my crazy mother, who is one of those antique freaks that thinks anything over 20 years old is valuable beyond all reason.
January 14, 2012 at 4:21 pm
Yeah, I’m pretty sure they sell these at the dollar store.
January 14, 2012 at 9:46 pm
But those aren’t the good ones! Not like they made them in the 80′s! The 20 year old plastic that will last 10,000 years is so much more durable than the new cheap plastic that will last 10,000 years!
January 13, 2012 at 6:21 pm
I don’t know if it’s a good thing or not that my brain is starting to think like April. Before I scrolled down to see the comparison for the doll, I thought of Precious.
Also, I think I’m going to have to start using the phrase SUBMISSION TO SELF at random for a few giggles.
January 13, 2012 at 6:22 pm
On closer inspection apparently my twisted brain twin is Bronc, not April. Still unsure if this is good or bad, though it’s good company.
January 13, 2012 at 6:21 pm
A “vintage” drainboard mat, oh for fuck’s sake.
January 13, 2012 at 6:25 pm
I’m seriously tempted to open an Etsy shop…just to see how much “vintage” garbage I can sell.
My mother keeps freaking everything, she’s not quite a hoarder..but damn close. I know I can dig up crap and take whimsy filled photos.
January 13, 2012 at 7:40 pm
Oh yes, whimsey filled. Please!
January 14, 2012 at 2:32 pm
Please gaze out a window when taking the pictures; or make duckface, or both!
January 13, 2012 at 6:27 pm
Well, somebody bought it in November. Maybe somebody’s favorite hipster had a very Merry Christmas.
.
January 13, 2012 at 6:29 pm
I think part of me just died…just a little. That’s….so sad.
And yet I am hopeful that I can now set up a shop and see how much junk I can sell for an outrageous price.
January 13, 2012 at 6:32 pm
A vintage asbestos stove-top heat diffuser (“a collectible only!”) is going for $29.99. If you can beat that price, you’re gold.
From the seller: “Don’t let someone snatch it up before you stand a chance” [to contract lung cancer for such a low price!]
January 13, 2012 at 6:42 pm
Those Franklin Mint sculptures from the 80s ain’t worth shit, what makes anyone think an 80s drain mat is??
January 13, 2012 at 6:32 pm
Passing off Christian Louboutin heels as your own originals and charging almost $100 more for them…that takes ginourmous titanium balls.
*slow clap*
January 13, 2012 at 6:46 pm
She does sell two “genuine Christian Louboutin” shoes at about twice the retail because she “strasses” them with crystals. For the pink shoes she shows one original next to one strassed.
For the white peep-toe, she’s using some incredibly clear crystals. The shoes look like they came right out of the box, untouched. Magnificent work. (Where’s the sarcasm emoticon when I need it?)
http://www.etsy.com/listing/88355210/genuine-christian-louboutin-peep-toe
January 14, 2012 at 2:36 pm
The shoes themselves amaze me. Plain, plain white. Think I’ll hit Payless and then buy $5 of bright red paint. Think of the money I’ll have saved!
January 13, 2012 at 7:07 pm
ginourmous swarovski encrusted titanium balls
January 13, 2012 at 7:48 pm
The picture she used aren’t even of real Louboutin shoes but instead of shoes from some of the myriad of fake Louboutin online stores out there.
(Grammar in that sentence is atrocious.)
January 13, 2012 at 8:04 pm
And by “that sentence”, I mean the sentence I wrote.
January 13, 2012 at 6:40 pm
That doll is what would happen if Precious and Fat Albert had a baby. And by God I’ve never wanted anything to happen more in my entire life.
Here’s to you, Fat Albecious. Here’s to you.
January 13, 2012 at 9:55 pm
Well, now I’m back to remembering the term “melting moments” (from the 1811 Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue).
January 13, 2012 at 6:43 pm
Someone bought the fox today?!
A fool & their money are soon…fuck it’s hard to resist being a reseller.
January 13, 2012 at 6:49 pm
That fox bag was featured somewhere… the Finds email or something. I know I just saw it recently.
January 14, 2012 at 5:41 am
I actually really like that purse! I’ma go find it on ebay.
January 14, 2012 at 5:51 am
Target had a bunch of fox and owl handbags that were actually almost the same, but slightly cuter. And last time I checked, they were in the clearance area.
January 14, 2012 at 9:22 pm
ooooh! I know where I’m going.
January 14, 2012 at 4:05 pm
To be fair, it really looks like the E-Bay one is cheaply made. The Etsy one is leather, and it has a bigger copper button. The Etsy one is much nicer. There have been a bunch of times I’ve really liked something that was cheaply made and wished there was a well made version of it, or made myself a better quality copy of something cheap. I think that might be what the seller did.
January 14, 2012 at 8:06 pm
The fox bag was actually copied by the cheaper site, in this case.
January 13, 2012 at 6:47 pm
Submission to self: List more cheap rubberware as “vintage” on Etsy.
January 13, 2012 at 8:47 pm
So my expired condoms would be considered vintage? They’re still in the original wrappers.
January 13, 2012 at 9:50 pm
Mint In Box!
January 14, 2012 at 6:01 am
They look lust like this!
January 14, 2012 at 9:24 pm
(durr, I mean to say, they look *just* like that. Freudian slip, much?)
January 13, 2012 at 7:13 pm
The doll is significantly less expensive than a similar Cabbage Patch Kid, but it’s also much uglier, and who knew that was even possible?
(These are the real Cabbage Patch Kids, not the cheap Coleco plastic version that was so popular, but that really doesn’t explain the price.)
January 13, 2012 at 7:52 pm
OMG. I am of the original 80s Cabbage Patch generation. And damn it, they were cute back then! What the hell happened?
Still cuter than Baby Bloatee up there, mind.
January 13, 2012 at 10:47 pm
See, I don’t get it. I was in elementary school when those things became popular, and I seemed to be just about the only kid around (although there were plenty of adults too) who thought they were creepy as hell. The ultra close-set eyes, the funny pinched noses, the texture of overstuffed pantyhose . . . *shudder*
Nope, give me my Strawberry Shortcakes and MLPs any day. Hell, I’ll even take the Smurfs.
January 14, 2012 at 5:23 am
My Cabbage Patches dressed entirely in crochet-ed muumuus made by an elderly lady down the street. It somehow made them more disturbing. I don’t even know where we got them – I don’t remember ever liking them, and we rarely had their original outfits. Yet, there were so many.
January 14, 2012 at 5:28 am
Me too – they were horrid things.
January 14, 2012 at 8:04 am
I played with all of those things. I love the MLP but alas, having no TV now, I cannot watch the new show.
But I do own a yarn-haired CB doll and one of the “baby” type dolls they came out with. Them things must be over 25 years old now.
January 14, 2012 at 2:45 pm
I was to old for dolls when they came out but detested them from the start. That no teeth thing – not like a baby but like an old person without dentures- is just WAY too weird.
January 14, 2012 at 4:08 pm
God. I forgot how creepy they were. They were really creepy, weren’t they?
January 13, 2012 at 7:15 pm
OMG, I can’t get past dishdrainer lady’s “Vintage Kleenex Tissue Purse Pack”: http://www.etsy.com/listing/88197746/vintage-kleenex-tissue-purse-pack-1960s
Only 8.99 for seven of the original ten tissues! And if I Favourite her, I can ask for my 10% coupon code – DEAL!
January 13, 2012 at 7:32 pm
That store should be called “Shit I found when cleaning out my grandma’s house”.
January 13, 2012 at 9:58 pm
You have no idea
http://www.etsy.com/listing/82842293/buzz-doris-matchbooks-1940s-valentine
“The perfect Valentine’s Day gift for the Buzz and Doris in your life.” How delightfully specific!
January 13, 2012 at 10:09 pm
Hmmm, or the ‘Box-Type Vintage Cheese Grater 4 Sided’
“Appears to be a Bromwell.” …Which I assume can be seen from the grey metal and box shaped base, so disctintive to Bromwell Graters >.>
Vintage “Surface rust”, its Grate!™
January 14, 2012 at 4:32 am
Here are a few more highlights from her
garbagegarage sale:Lot of 44 used egg cartons (some reused) – $17.99 + $7.95 shipping
Lot of 8 rusty old Miracle Whip lids (jars not included) – $9.99
1960′s styrofoam cooler, complete with “dings, stains, and a broken spot on the lid” – $17.99
Lot of 6 empty Pellegrino bottles – $15.99
And the pièce de résistance: Her old toilet – $119.00
January 14, 2012 at 4:34 am
Aww, I messed up the last link. Her old toilet is here.
January 14, 2012 at 4:43 am
I know something that will get that clean. Should I tell her?
January 14, 2012 at 8:41 pm
Is it C4?
January 14, 2012 at 9:33 am
The best part is the doody stain picture.
January 16, 2012 at 10:21 pm
AAAAUUUGGH
Shouldn’t have clicked the toilet link. Shouldn’t have clicked the toilet link. Shouldn’t have clicked the toilet link. Shouldn’t have clicked the toilet link…
January 14, 2012 at 6:36 am
Why is a 40-year-old plastic pack of disposable tissues in vintage condition? I have had dozens of tissue packs in my purse in the last nine months (they give them out like crazy in Tokyo even though it’s gauche to blow your nose in public. Not every public restroom supplies toilet paper). They don’t look like that after a few hours, much less days, much less decades.
January 14, 2012 at 4:17 pm
There is no way that thing is “Vintage” I saw that pattern on sale a couple years ago. Anything like that from the 60′s would have been made of cellophane and probably disintegrated decades ago. This woman must be ill.
January 14, 2012 at 4:59 pm
Drat, and here I thought they just made things with quality back in the day. Why, when my mom was a kid, even the disposable items were built to last!
January 13, 2012 at 7:23 pm
I have just had the most capital idea. My sister left a traffic cone here and I had been wondering what to do with it. Now I know.
Although… if I cover it with glitter, I might be able to charge double!
January 13, 2012 at 8:58 pm
Draw a pot leaf on it with a sharpie and I guarantee some old coot will buy it
Or it will become dorm decor…
January 13, 2012 at 10:02 pm
“Makes a great wedding gift!”
January 14, 2012 at 6:38 am
One word. Swarovski.
January 13, 2012 at 7:47 pm
Re: The Louboutin heels
Fake fake fake fake fake fake!
The only reason the Etsy store can sell those shoes for 100 dollars less is because they are both fake! The real Swarovski Louboutin shoes cost about $2895 (if I remember the number correctly).
The price point of Louboutin shoes:
http://www.neimanmarcus.com/store/catalog/template/catB6.jhtml?itemId=cat5130731
You can buy those Etsy shoes in Korea for about 60 dollars. Save even more money! (Minus the flight to Korea.)
January 13, 2012 at 8:01 pm
http://www.lalisette.nl/press/
I dunno regretsy, I think maybe you got this one wrong (and I hate resellers). The press on her website (from the fox bag) makes it look like she makes the things herself; I think the Chinese version may be a knock-off. Are you really encouraging people to buy the knockoff version, or making fun of an Etsy seller because a Chinese company managed to copy her design for much cheaper due to (likely) having it made in a sweatshop?
Seems like a miss, unless you really didn’t think the Etsy seller was making them herself, in which case did you not look at her blog? Do some research?
Hmm.
January 14, 2012 at 2:47 pm
• The press on her web site says that “everything is made by hand.” It doesn’t say whose hands, or how many.
• The site directs you where to go for “wholesale inquiries.” That sounds a little like wholesale to me, but maybe it’s the word “wholesale” that threw me off.
• She counts Modcloth among her customers, which is not exactly a Mom and Pop operation, as well as a few other large European outlets. Maybe she just drinks a lot of coffee.
I’m not saying the bag hasn’t been knocked off; it’s very possible. But whether she wholesales them or other people do, it’s mass-produced and cheaper elsewhere.
January 13, 2012 at 8:57 pm
Did anyone else look at the dishdrainer lady’s sold items? Not only does she have vintage can openers, ladles and ice cream scoops as well as a “rustic” muffin tin (which was apparently “just what [the buyer, a.k.a the only person in America who didn't already have a rusty old muffin tin in their kitchen] needed”), she also has this gem:
http://www.etsy.com/transaction/66439029
January 16, 2012 at 10:31 pm
“With the money for this card, we will buy George another paint by number kit from a garage sale or thrift shop so he can use the paints and canvas for another round of art, now that I know how fond he is of painting.”
Mom of the Year.
January 13, 2012 at 9:21 pm
I didn’t really like Push, but that doll only reminds me of Precious if there was some sort of sequel where she has a half-zombie-half-human baby.
January 13, 2012 at 9:22 pm
Yep, forgot the /. Awesome.
January 13, 2012 at 9:57 pm
I was a little iffy on seeing the doll juxtaposed with “Precious…” but “Playpal” reminded me of Paypal and the circle of wrongness was closed. I still love you guy.
January 13, 2012 at 10:02 pm
you guys! All o’ yuz! Dammit! Also, please buy random things I’ve owned for my adult life – vintage squeege!!!? Anyone?
January 13, 2012 at 10:22 pm
The gothic dollhouse thing is really cool….says my 5-year-old self.
January 13, 2012 at 10:45 pm
I actually found the tacky heels for 159.80. I think I know what I’m spending my Vicodin money on…
January 14, 2012 at 12:19 am
I would definitely be far more appreciative if someone bought me a copy of Precious, and not that mutated monstrosity that passes for a doll.
It’s like… it’s like if the Hulk impregnated one of the Garbage Pail Kids.
January 14, 2012 at 2:29 am
The fox bags do not look identical? The shape of the brown leather is different, as is the eye position. Who is copying who??
January 14, 2012 at 2:34 am
Ok, not being naive here I hope but I think that fox bag is the real deal and the ebay version is a chinese rip.
http://www.lalisette.nl
Would be quite sad to be criticising the shop for their price if it’s a genuine hand-made, no???
January 14, 2012 at 6:11 am
The dollhouse doesn’t look like a reseller to me. It looks more like the Polish disney font place is ripping off the etsy one, maybe they traced the other design? The wood is different, the cutting quality looks different. Or is it just me who thinks so?
January 14, 2012 at 4:31 pm
My guess is that it’s a pattern you can buy for a laser cutter, and the Etsy seller is selling one that they actually made with their programmable laser cutter, but they didn’t design, and the Polish place used the same program. It’s the same as computerized embroidery.
January 14, 2012 at 6:29 pm
IIRC some of the die-cut kits are far flimsier and of course cheaper (The disney font one doesn’t have visible laser ‘kerf’??), alas the laser cut ones really should not have used the same templates, but i agree, i don’t think they’re a reseller.
January 14, 2012 at 8:01 am
That doll seriously reminds me of the pantyhose “Cabbage Patch” dolls my great grandma used to make. They weren’t as chubby, but they had ceramic heads and were pretty interesting.
I hope that one doesn’t come with vintage Old Person™ smell. The memory of that smell is stifling, as much as I hardly ever saw her.
January 14, 2012 at 4:25 pm
My dad had an old lady custom make a Mr T fake Cabbage Patch Kid, for my little brother. It totally smelled like that, but was awesome, nonetheless. I think he still has it, I think it still smells like that, and has only gotten more and more awesome.
January 14, 2012 at 8:29 am
Why are the doll’s feet bigger than its head?
January 14, 2012 at 9:32 am
“Gothic Dollhouse Submission to Self” sounds dirty, and also painful.
Big props for their Disney font, though.
January 14, 2012 at 9:34 am
Okay, so replies aren’t working. Sigh, 31 goes with 29.
January 14, 2012 at 2:15 pm
I admit, that fox bag is adorable. Not $99 adorable. But adorable nonetheless.
January 14, 2012 at 8:03 pm
I thought it was cute too. Maybe if you took one of those 9′s away… Yes I think that can reasonably be $9 worth of cute.
January 14, 2012 at 2:23 pm
I feel so proud; I own the blue drainboard. Excuse me while I dash to the kitchen to gaze at my vintage accessory!
January 15, 2012 at 2:50 pm
I hope you have had it appraised and listed in your will, or there might be some nasty fights over it when you’re gone=—and you won’t be around to enjoy that!
January 14, 2012 at 8:02 pm
There is no way the word “comfortable” belongs in a sentence describing those shoes, unless the sentence is something along the lines of “these would never be comfortable in a million years”. I’m getting foot cramps just looking at those things!
January 14, 2012 at 8:30 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VcFB06ZVVmQ
January 22, 2012 at 12:36 pm
I’m having flashbacks to “Beloved”.