my partner watched this with me. his immediate reaction on seeing that moustache man licking his fingers was “wow, he really likes that other guy’s dick blood.”
Not the only one stephsparkle. However it was funny, just bad timing. If the flasher part was the last segment it would have been great – at least until the blond guy ate the slong pie.
That’s why my friends and I have a secret group on Facebook, no parents, no classmates, etc. were where post all the sick crap we find on the internet. It helps make Facebook more fun for me
I was wondering the same thing. Actually, I was wondering why April posted it.
Then the pizza cut off the guy’s penis and everything made sense again. As much as it ever does, anyway.
Their first menu used comic sans serif and they didn’t discover the mistake for a while. Diners read “Donner,” but thought it read “Donder.” At least they enjoyed themselves.
My husband just gave me the look when I commented that the aviators made no sense. To be fair, his point that none of it made sense was a good one, but even in context – such as it is – the glasses were strange.
Watch the movie “Gentlemen Broncos”…it sort of explains the glasses in a strange way. On a separate and unrelated subject: when the pizza was in the microwave it sure looked like play-doh.
I was busy thinking that, “I realize celebrities make commercials in other countries, but what was Brad Pitt selling in this?” Then I saw the whole penis thing, and was even more confused.
I… I really don’t know what to say about this, except that that must have been some very sharp pizza. And that I’m really glad I decided to make chicken tonight.
A space gladiator (god??) needs only three things to season his pizza, the misery of the suicidal, the blood from a mans penis, and the touch of an Asian man.
I think that was my favorite part though, that and the girls callous laughter as she is sprayed with dick blood.
That’s Thor’s younger brother, Dale. He’s a pizza delivery guy, since it was too hard to live in his brother’s shadow, so he dropped out of college and decided to just be happy with giving people the will to live.
He looks like a guy I dated for two years in college (just in the face, though he did always claim he was totally going to start working out and bulk up). And he DID drop out of college. And wore glasses like that (in the mid-90s- HOT!)
Yes, I had terrible taste in men, but he did have other qualities that were a priority to 20yo me, such as a LOT more to lose than that flasher.
No, you were absolutely correct; the subtitles did not clear anything up at all for me, except for why the pizza boomerang at the end had antlers……did clear that up, but little else!
In the (something) of the ages, the control of fire has set men apart and (something). From this, then, if the man is a different animal, then he eats (something about a tongue) … but there is a cure to always (something).
It’s the second semester of Spaaanish Spaanish Love Sooooong ….
I speak Spanish fluently, and it doesn’t even make sense in Spanish, so don’t think something got lost in translation. Oh, those silly, silly Spaniards and their quirky collective sense of humor.
Let me get this straight… there was full on castration, a suicide contemplation, and a spartan in ballet shoes, and it’s the octopus that’s going to haunt your dreams?
I have never .. in my life .. strung together a set of concepts as absolutely bizarre as what’s showcased here. Now I understand why I never went into advertising.
I was CONVINCED — until the old guy in the Christmas sweater showed up — that this was a massive play on “When-a da moon hits your eye like-a big-a pizz-a pie, dat’s amore.”
Actually, the guy in the sweater looks so much like my Uncle Giacomo that I still was pretty convinced at that point.
EXACTLY what I was thinking. They don’t make them cooler than Bronc Drywall.
On another note, I think what is right with this commercial is what is missing in American commercials. Damn censor boards!
This is the Spanish equivalent of a Super Bowl commercial. Maybe it will show up on the World Cup broadcast…and the result will be men curling up in the corner and wimpering while their women order Pizza Boomerangs in between raucous laughter.
It was perfectly cheesy…all the elements were there. Bafflingly beautiful. It almost seems like a complete waste of time and at the same time worth every microsecond.
I laughed so loud when the penis got cut off. My 8yr old came running into the room yelling…”What’s so funny?” I just told him I wasn’t going to be showing him. LOL
I can only guess that the guy is about to jump of a ledge because he made the mistake of buying that Etsy Christmas vest, luckily the scent of a Steampunk Greek-inspired pizza saved him.
If you cut of an erect penis, does it stay erect, or does it go flaccid?
My guess is that it would go flaccid, as the blood would be lost, right? But then that leads to the question…how fast? Which leads to the question, why the hell am I asking these questions?
All you really need for blood to spurt is to nip an artery. Accidentally poked myself in the hand with a knife once and before I knew it, there was blood going everywhere…from just a small wound. Severed penis would – I’m sure – involve a lot of blood.
Some castrations were total. The Byzantines were particularly brutal with that, removing all male genitalia and burying them in sand to the neck. The men usually died from blood loss or infection if they didn’t exsanguinate. Eunuchs thusly created had to carry a straw through which to perform certain functions. *shudder*
When I had them (my balls) removed after an accident, I wondered about the same thing. The other way, though; semen from my prostate leaking out the tubes.
I just read an article in WAE about a Chinese billionaire who was poisoned while eating local delicacy “cat stew”.
I was hoping he was poisoned for eating cat stew, but no, it was some land deal/money combo and a business partner who poisoned him. His billions should go to animal shelters as retribution for his callous cat eating habits!
Sorry! Got off track – it was the “Chinese Buffets” that did it – all I can say about the pizza ad is, his abs, noice! His gold lame` boots, nooooo. And why do our censorship laws in Australia not allow advertisers to show penises! Severed or otherwise???
I’ll admit that I’m slightly more carnivorous than the “average” human.
Slightly amusing story; While having dinner at a friend’s house I noticed that her step-father and I were growling at each other with every bite we tore free from our spareribs.
The women never noticed until I burst out laughing…
Me and Mine always order our steaks still mooing. I must agree with you. We growl over ribs, but that’s because if anyone comes near them we’ll take a hand off.
…but, I love it when my food does stuff. I get inappropriately excited, for an adult, over pop rocks and gummies in the shapes of things that I can play with.
I also now realize that I’ve just drawn a disturbing parallel between fun candy and a penis chopping pizza…carry on.
Aww, I’ve never been willy-twirled at. I feel I’m missing out.
Have you ever seen puppetry of the penis? They do a dizzying array of willy-twirling. It really is quite something to see. It is of the utmost high-brow entertainment, I assure you.
Mugsy, I think my wife has finished with mine…I’ll ask her if I can take it out of the jar where she keeps it and I can UPS it to you (FedEx if you’re in a hurry)
Oh, gentlemen, I do declare! You flatter me…and tease me so. I only wish I could take you up on your kind and generous offers, and rely on your kindness, but I much appreciate the whole man to come with his penis—
“And I’d like to see a man come without his penis!”–Groucho Marx
—so I thank you for the offer, which I must decline, but which will provide quality fodder for my bunktime pursuits.
p.s. OldPhatMC: I’m a lot older than my avatar looks, but you’re so sweet! I remember my mom telling me, “Mugsy, one of the great things about the Doodle women: Our avatars always look so much younger than our true age!”
What in the everliving fuck?? Is this an actual ad, or an internet “comedy” short? And why the severed penis? I would have been perfectly happy if the skinny gross perv had gotten his comeuppance by getting smacked in the head and knocked out.
I’m a bit relieved I hadn’t started drinking yet when I watched this, because I would really be questioning my sanity. Then again, I haven’t had a drink since Monday. I must have the DTs and am in hallucination mode. That’s the only explanation…
This is here because we decided to eat pizza for dinner. I just know it. No one believed me when I said the world was against me. Okay well it might not be against me per say, but it’s definitely against my dinner selection.
I happened to Baby Jane
January 11, 2012 at 5:26 pm
If he used hot pads his hands wouldn’t be Mighty Thor!
Also, can anyone find me one of those Christmas sweater vests on Etsy? I’m feeling like wearing something to work that would challenge the very fabric of politeness.
yeah, there weren’t nearly enough huge-breasted fantasy babes for a Boris painting…or a Rowena for that matter…maybe more of a Frazzetta…but even then…
I loved it. I’m not going to lie. I wasn’t freaked out by it, it was hilarious. Although, the amputation bit was a little out of place yet understandable. Why would pizza do that to a guy flashing his junk? It’s like vigilante Santa in pizza form…he knows when you’ve been bad or good.
I give it a 9.1 on a scale of 10. It always returns al dente.
I agree…the only part I found not to my immense liking was that, after all its experiences on Earth, the boomerang pizza returned to its God and said God ate the pizza…
Because there’s nothing to save your life from painful suicide, dirty perves and too much hentai on your bar b q that an oddly shaped snack that doesn’t resemble food sold by a naked UBËR geek!
Anybody else notice that the three guys who burn their mouths in the crystal ball are the same three that pizza boomerang finds on Earth? It makes you wonder, why would pizza boomerang go to help a guy then cut off his penis? How could you be so cruel, pizza boomerang?!
A man…in a Christmas sweater, almost kills himself…another man, in a park across the city, flashes a woman and grinds in her face, only to have his penis chopped off…another man, failing at grilling an octopus…they all have close contact with a UFO.
For a moment I wondered if anyone actually understood any of the VO and could translate… but then I thought to myself, there’s no way in hell it would make sense even then. And the bizarre thing is that the random antlers on the pizza boomerang at the end is probably one of the least nonsensical parts.
I have been reading your conversations at work for over a year..i’ve finally decided to join in..i promise i’m a fjl, and so sad I don’t live in spouthern California, for the first time in years…
I said WHUUUUT like 5 times while watching this! Every time I thought I’d gotten it, it turned another corner. My GOD I wish I could post this one facebook!!!
I’ve dedicated the majority of my adult life to finding the absolute asshole of the internet at the time (4chan, reddit, somethingawful) and hanging out there. It’s desensitized me to a lot of the bullshit on the webs. And yet THIS video confused and frightened me, just a little bit.
Turning on the subtitles didn’t help, although it did make it slightly less terrifying.
I had a question that I wanted to post immediately after that video stopped….I came in to post this question and immediately saw that I was not alone…
What in Holy Fucking Hellsinki did I just watch???
I am so very confused right now, and yet, oddly happier than I was just a few minutes ago.
Also: as a person who has traveled to China/Taiwan and was infinitely amused with street vendors selling fried Squid-on-a-Stick, I was twice as amused with the BBQ octopus scene (also, nice Etsy/Regretsy/not-steampunk tie-in there, eh?).
Well… that was both hilarious and disturbing. The outfit officially rocks, especially those glasses. MethinksI think this is some sort of viral-marketing-let’s-create-a-meme-thingy. They’ve got a website http://www.pizzaboomerang.com/ and the facebook of the production co (Sofa Experience Communications) has some behind-the-scenes interesting bits – looks like they’re some sort of ad firm. But I cannot speak or read Spanish, so I’m taking a completely ignorant guess. Anybody up for a bet on whether it’ll go viral? Possibly not as it has been flagged on the ‘tube with an age restriction. Still… 300k views so far, but it still has a ways to go. Let us watch it develop…
There’s a mostly naked, boomerang pizza wielding, gold gladiator & hipster glasses attired, slow motion muscles ripples Greek God;
A suicidal guy in the ugliest sweater;
A decapitation of a flasher that is laughed at my a female
A Chinese guy who is trying to try an entire octopus who also eats penis castration blood; Reindeer flavour pizza; and what bothers me most is that the pizza is microwaved.
From reading the subtitles I am supposed to understand that we like our Rudolph pizza hot, but not too hot to burn our mouths, and with extra meat, so we make it in a boomerang shape and throw it, and when it comes back cool enough, and covered with various fluids and germs, we can eat it without burning our mouths. Is that what everyone else understood?
January 11, 2012 at 4:29 pm
Holy shit. I’ve got to find one of those pizza boomerangs… before it finds me.
January 11, 2012 at 4:30 pm
what the fuck did i just watch.
January 11, 2012 at 4:38 pm
You just watched a guy eat a pizza that passed through another guy’s penis. As for why he would do such a thing, no fucking clue.
January 11, 2012 at 4:42 pm
He’d ordered extra sausage, and when it came without it, he took the initiative to add some on his own…
I’m guessing.
January 11, 2012 at 4:46 pm
That actually makes sense in a really fucked up way. I salute you PaganChick!
January 12, 2012 at 6:09 am
I took the extra five seconds to log in just to tell you how awesome this comment is.
January 11, 2012 at 5:07 pm
my partner watched this with me. his immediate reaction on seeing that moustache man licking his fingers was “wow, he really likes that other guy’s dick blood.”
January 11, 2012 at 5:13 pm
I’m glad I’m not the only one that thought that.
January 11, 2012 at 5:21 pm
My DH just walked thru and said, “Hey, that sounds like John Cougar Mellencamp.”
My take? ALL sh*tty music sounds like John Cougar Mellencamp.
January 12, 2012 at 4:13 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
January 12, 2012 at 11:57 pm
Not the only one stephsparkle. However it was funny, just bad timing. If the flasher part was the last segment it would have been great – at least until the blond guy ate the slong pie.
January 11, 2012 at 6:04 pm
Yeah…. I was all prepared to share the video on my Facebook page, when suddenly, PENIS. D:
January 11, 2012 at 8:01 pm
That’s why my friends and I have a secret group on Facebook, no parents, no classmates, etc. were where post all the sick crap we find on the internet. It helps make Facebook more fun for me
January 12, 2012 at 2:23 am
So do we!
January 12, 2012 at 7:36 am
We’re not all in the same group, are we?
January 12, 2012 at 11:58 pm
Ditto. I don’t care about parents but there are things that my students do NOT need to know that I know/do.
January 11, 2012 at 9:58 pm
As my gay brother would say, “That’s so gay.”
January 11, 2012 at 10:36 pm
Horns, I also have such a secret group. It’s called Regretsy.
January 12, 2012 at 3:51 pm
I was wondering the same thing. Actually, I was wondering why April posted it.
Then the pizza cut off the guy’s penis and everything made sense again. As much as it ever does, anyway.
January 11, 2012 at 4:37 pm
Hell, I want one of the pizza boomerangs to find someone!
January 11, 2012 at 7:58 pm
WTF is a universal language
January 11, 2012 at 4:37 pm
Forget Rudolph flavor, I want mine Blitzen!
January 11, 2012 at 5:27 pm
Their first menu used comic sans serif and they didn’t discover the mistake for a while. Diners read “Donner,” but thought it read “Donder.” At least they enjoyed themselves.
January 12, 2012 at 9:55 am
Donner, party of 10… Party of 9…. Party of 8…
January 12, 2012 at 3:24 pm
And people wonder why the Euro is collapsing.
January 11, 2012 at 4:30 pm
I… have no words but I now have the urge to watch 300 and order in from Pizza Glen.
January 11, 2012 at 4:31 pm
I look at the dude’s chest and think yes, but then I look at his gladiator ballet slippers and think no…
January 11, 2012 at 4:38 pm
He had shoes on?
January 11, 2012 at 6:41 pm
He had feet?
January 11, 2012 at 9:52 pm
He was a hipster god, obviously, because of his glasses.
And a Damned Fine Hipster God at that.
January 12, 2012 at 5:45 am
Those glasses rock. My boss wears glasses like that and they are awesome.
January 12, 2012 at 9:14 am
Other than it obviously not being him, I thought he totally looked like Jemaine Clement.
January 12, 2012 at 10:11 am
My favorite part is when he does that little glasses adjust, right before he eats the boomerang.
January 11, 2012 at 4:38 pm
If it’s any consolation, some day people will recognize him at “The Pizza Boomarang Guy”. With all the shame THAT entails.
January 11, 2012 at 4:45 pm
Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes. I thought he was CG. But no no no he’s just made of YES!
January 11, 2012 at 5:04 pm
He’s wearing slippers? (sorry, eyes never unglued from the rippling chest muscles)
January 11, 2012 at 5:24 pm
I rather liked his footwear, but I can find no excuse for the glasses.
January 11, 2012 at 5:32 pm
My husband just gave me the look when I commented that the aviators made no sense. To be fair, his point that none of it made sense was a good one, but even in context – such as it is – the glasses were strange.
January 11, 2012 at 5:52 pm
He’s the lovechild of Brad, Rocky and Frank. Borne by Brad.
January 11, 2012 at 6:05 pm
Watch the movie “Gentlemen Broncos”…it sort of explains the glasses in a strange way. On a separate and unrelated subject: when the pizza was in the microwave it sure looked like play-doh.
January 11, 2012 at 5:44 pm
Yea, I didn’t even start with the retro glasses or his headgear..
January 11, 2012 at 8:08 pm
John Denver is looking pretty good!
January 11, 2012 at 5:29 pm
I know it’s a term reserved for girls, but he’s what I’d call a “Butter Face”…
January 11, 2012 at 11:10 pm
I was busy thinking that, “I realize celebrities make commercials in other countries, but what was Brad Pitt selling in this?” Then I saw the whole penis thing, and was even more confused.
January 12, 2012 at 8:18 am
Brad Pitt never looked THAT good.
January 11, 2012 at 4:31 pm
I… I really don’t know what to say about this, except that that must have been some very sharp pizza. And that I’m really glad I decided to make chicken tonight.
January 11, 2012 at 6:37 pm
Chicken Tonight (R)?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a3ov9eNB7E4&feature=related
January 11, 2012 at 7:23 pm
You know, I never did see that commercial, I only ever saw the simpsons do it.
January 11, 2012 at 4:32 pm
Suddenly….
Random penis amputation!
Did NOT see that one coming!
January 11, 2012 at 4:44 pm
A space gladiator (god??) needs only three things to season his pizza, the misery of the suicidal, the blood from a mans penis, and the touch of an Asian man.
I think that was my favorite part though, that and the girls callous laughter as she is sprayed with dick blood.
January 11, 2012 at 5:08 pm
Perhaps his mother told him that he needed to consume a virgin’s blood…and just assumed he’d look for girl.
January 12, 2012 at 6:13 am
Because nothing is as miserable as an old man in a horrible Christmas sweaterXD
January 13, 2012 at 12:00 am
I too thought that the sweater was really inspired.
January 11, 2012 at 9:02 pm
Yeah, the video really takes a turn around 1:40, doesn’t it?
January 11, 2012 at 4:33 pm
I was quite enjoying this until about 1:42.
January 11, 2012 at 5:00 pm
My favourite bit:
You’ll have to watch it to find out what’s so funny.
January 11, 2012 at 5:03 pm
I was about to click ahead when it got to that part. So glad I didn’t. To miss that fuckery would have sucked and I wouldn’t be laughing right now.
January 11, 2012 at 5:07 pm
She vants to suck your …
PIZZA BOOMERANG!
January 11, 2012 at 9:36 pm
I had just got my laughing under some sort of control, when this set me off again.
January 11, 2012 at 4:35 pm
The pizza we are having for dinner is boringly circle-shaped. Damn you Boomerang Pizza!
January 11, 2012 at 5:00 pm
Judicious use of a pizza cutter…and then you could carve the pizza into a pleasing shape as well.
January 14, 2012 at 8:19 am
With judicious use of a pizza cutter, you can also amputate random flasher-penis, too… Making your home-made pizza boomerang experience complete.
January 11, 2012 at 4:35 pm
I think I’ve just had an epiphany. Either that or a nosebleed. Both are apt right now.
January 11, 2012 at 5:39 pm
We all just had an Ephiphany: it was last Friday!
January 11, 2012 at 11:12 pm
Perhaps it was an aneurysm?
January 11, 2012 at 4:35 pm
That’s Thor’s younger brother, Dale. He’s a pizza delivery guy, since it was too hard to live in his brother’s shadow, so he dropped out of college and decided to just be happy with giving people the will to live.
January 11, 2012 at 5:10 pm
He looks like a guy I dated for two years in college (just in the face, though he did always claim he was totally going to start working out and bulk up). And he DID drop out of college. And wore glasses like that (in the mid-90s- HOT!)
Yes, I had terrible taste in men, but he did have other qualities that were a priority to 20yo me, such as a LOT more to lose than that flasher.
January 11, 2012 at 4:35 pm
A little sausage and extra tomato sauce on your pizza anyone?
January 11, 2012 at 5:01 pm
He paid for it later, with wicked heartburn. “I can’t believe I ate the WHOLE thing,” he kept muttering to his wife.
January 11, 2012 at 4:35 pm
Part of me wishes there were English subtitles. The other part realizes that it probably will make just as little sense once translated into English.
January 11, 2012 at 4:38 pm
There are subtitles, just have to click the little box at the bottom. And no, it isn’t going to help you make any sense out of this
January 11, 2012 at 5:09 pm
Everytime I read “pi-pi-pi-pizza boo-boo-boo-boomerang,” I would hear “Chi-chi-chi-chia!” in my head.
January 11, 2012 at 5:12 pm
I clicked the little box at the bottom and nothing happened
Oddly, that’s what my husband said last night…
January 11, 2012 at 5:14 pm
Click the CC box. That worked for me.
January 11, 2012 at 5:30 pm
I finally found it, and the translation only made things even more confusing.
January 11, 2012 at 10:31 pm
No, you were absolutely correct; the subtitles did not clear anything up at all for me, except for why the pizza boomerang at the end had antlers……did clear that up, but little else!
January 11, 2012 at 4:46 pm
In the (something) of the ages, the control of fire has set men apart and (something). From this, then, if the man is a different animal, then he eats (something about a tongue) … but there is a cure to always (something).
It’s the second semester of Spaaanish Spaanish Love Sooooong ….
January 11, 2012 at 4:48 pm
I can’t decide whether to be very proud of myself for getting so close or very chagrined that I missed the CC button.
January 11, 2012 at 8:08 pm
Que hora es, que hora es?
(No remembro how to say ‘eleven’)
January 11, 2012 at 9:03 pm
I love that song.
January 12, 2012 at 2:27 am
Once pronounce ont thay…. Guareteed to make you sound like a Mexican with a bad lisp….
January 12, 2012 at 12:58 pm
Ooo. They are teaching you the hoity-toity spanish that they speak in Barthelona
January 12, 2012 at 9:24 pm
I speak Spanish fluently, and it doesn’t even make sense in Spanish, so don’t think something got lost in translation. Oh, those silly, silly Spaniards and their quirky collective sense of humor.
January 11, 2012 at 4:35 pm
I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy in my life. That says a lot about the power of the pizza boomerang. And my life.
January 11, 2012 at 4:35 pm
the barbecued octopus scene was harrowing.
January 11, 2012 at 4:43 pm
Let me get this straight… there was full on castration, a suicide contemplation, and a spartan in ballet shoes, and it’s the octopus that’s going to haunt your dreams?
Me too.
January 11, 2012 at 5:42 pm
Don’t forget all those ugly Christmas sweaters! That vest would make me suicidal too (although the first guy already looked like a zombie).
January 11, 2012 at 6:46 pm
It had it all….and my dreams strangely already included these things.
January 11, 2012 at 10:31 pm
everyone knows octopi are steampunk! what will the craft world do now that steampunk is dead…barbecued in cold blood
January 11, 2012 at 4:58 pm
I think that’s my favourite part. So sad. So Octopus. Pizza boomerang!
January 11, 2012 at 5:14 pm
I was honestly expecting the pizza boomerang to decapitate the octopus-killer-cooker. Especially after the botched circumcision.
January 11, 2012 at 6:38 pm
I agree. That part really freaked me out. There’s no way an octopus that big could get evenly cooked on a grill that small.
January 11, 2012 at 4:36 pm
I have never .. in my life .. strung together a set of concepts as absolutely bizarre as what’s showcased here. Now I understand why I never went into advertising.
Where does this stuff come from?
January 11, 2012 at 4:40 pm
Drugs. Lots of heavy duty drugs.
Curiously, that’s also the treatment for the nightmares this will undoubtedly cause me.
January 11, 2012 at 5:51 pm
Share please? Eek.
January 11, 2012 at 4:36 pm
Holy everloving Christ! Where does one even begin?!?
The ’70s glasses, or the wreath sweater on the suicidal Asian, or the exhibitionist’s detatched member being laughed at…
I need a drink. A big one.
January 11, 2012 at 4:40 pm
I have wreath sweatervest envy.
January 11, 2012 at 4:36 pm
I was CONVINCED — until the old guy in the Christmas sweater showed up — that this was a massive play on “When-a da moon hits your eye like-a big-a pizz-a pie, dat’s amore.”
Actually, the guy in the sweater looks so much like my Uncle Giacomo that I still was pretty convinced at that point.
January 11, 2012 at 4:36 pm
Me gusto!
January 11, 2012 at 4:37 pm
I think I’d rather have a stromboli frisbee, myself.
January 11, 2012 at 4:50 pm
Now that I think about it, a pizza would make a much better frisbee while a stromboli, or perhaps a calzone, would make a far better boomerang.
January 11, 2012 at 6:44 pm
Tortillas are extremely aerodynamic.
ohhhh…what little I remember of college.
January 12, 2012 at 12:49 am
Tortilla tossing is a time honored tradition in the Southwest. It’s our equivalent of TPing.
January 11, 2012 at 4:37 pm
Nothing makes me hungry for pizza quite like a severed dick.
January 11, 2012 at 5:12 pm
That’s what Jeffrey Dalhmer said!
January 11, 2012 at 5:43 pm
severed dick=Dahmer pepperoni!
January 11, 2012 at 6:15 pm
When he invited someone for dinner and they were late, know what they got? The cold shoulder.
January 11, 2012 at 6:39 pm
Peepeeroni.
January 11, 2012 at 4:37 pm
I think I’ll stick to my Pizza in a Cup.
January 11, 2012 at 4:44 pm
I’m still waiting for my septuacentennial cupcake, in-a-cup!
January 11, 2012 at 5:44 pm
Just don’t try to take it on an airplane.
January 11, 2012 at 6:00 pm
I’ve got 3 1/2 weeks before I get on a plane, I think I can finish it before then.
Or at least the frosting… I’ll be damned if I let the TSA have my frosting…
January 11, 2012 at 4:52 pm
It’s so much better than the Cup O Pizza.
January 11, 2012 at 8:08 pm
Oooh, I wonder if BBQ’d octopus in a cup would ever take off?
January 11, 2012 at 4:38 pm
So, Bronc’s new commercial appearance as The God of Boomerangs!
January 11, 2012 at 4:41 pm
PIZZA boomerangs.
January 11, 2012 at 5:15 pm
EXACTLY what I was thinking. They don’t make them cooler than Bronc Drywall.
On another note, I think what is right with this commercial is what is missing in American commercials. Damn censor boards!
January 11, 2012 at 4:38 pm
he ate the pizza boomerang after it sliced someones penis off…how unsanitary.
January 11, 2012 at 4:42 pm
It’s the only way you can eat someone out when you live in the clouds.
January 11, 2012 at 4:43 pm
Ewww!
January 11, 2012 at 7:11 pm
I’m glad it wasn’t just me thinking that!
January 11, 2012 at 4:38 pm
I’ve screamed a time or two, as well, when I stupidly fished something piping hot out of a microwave with my bare hands.
But I must admit the severed penis was an.. interesting sales pitch.
January 11, 2012 at 4:41 pm
I think they’re targeting the disaffected spouse demographic.
January 11, 2012 at 5:16 pm
This is the Spanish equivalent of a Super Bowl commercial. Maybe it will show up on the World Cup broadcast…and the result will be men curling up in the corner and wimpering while their women order Pizza Boomerangs in between raucous laughter.
January 11, 2012 at 8:55 pm
Yo quiero Pizza Boomerang!
January 11, 2012 at 4:39 pm
Lorena Bobbitt figures into this somewhere.
January 11, 2012 at 4:39 pm
That was the most baffling and beautiful piece of fuckery I have ever seen.
I just want to sit back and bask in the perfect cheesiness of this entire video.
It. Has. Everything.
January 11, 2012 at 4:43 pm
Heh heh.. you said “cheesiness”!
January 11, 2012 at 6:37 pm
It was perfectly cheesy…all the elements were there. Bafflingly beautiful. It almost seems like a complete waste of time and at the same time worth every microsecond.
January 12, 2012 at 2:45 am
I know!
It’s kinda like the holy grail of fuckery.
I never knew it would contain pizza and be in spanish. I always thought it would be British.
I feel as though all things make sense yet nothing makes sense at all.
January 11, 2012 at 4:40 pm
That guy’s butt flap was frilly. Like, burlesque frilly.
January 11, 2012 at 4:45 pm
That wasn’t a butt flap… that was butt hair.
January 12, 2012 at 7:12 am
^^^This
January 11, 2012 at 4:40 pm
I think that pizza gladiator is a hipster.
I laughed so loud when the penis got cut off. My 8yr old came running into the room yelling…”What’s so funny?” I just told him I wasn’t going to be showing him. LOL
January 11, 2012 at 5:47 pm
He DID like pizza boomerangs before they were cool.
January 11, 2012 at 6:16 pm
He tried to eat them before they were cool, too.
January 11, 2012 at 4:40 pm
I can only guess that the guy is about to jump of a ledge because he made the mistake of buying that Etsy Christmas vest, luckily the scent of a Steampunk Greek-inspired pizza saved him.
January 11, 2012 at 4:55 pm
But can they guarantee 30 minutes or less?
January 11, 2012 at 4:56 pm
Huh, that is not where I meant to reply.
January 11, 2012 at 4:41 pm
Dios mÃo! Qué acabo de mirar?
… Lo voy a hacer.
January 11, 2012 at 4:43 pm
So I have to ask…
If you cut of an erect penis, does it stay erect, or does it go flaccid?
My guess is that it would go flaccid, as the blood would be lost, right? But then that leads to the question…how fast? Which leads to the question, why the hell am I asking these questions?
January 11, 2012 at 4:46 pm
I’m guessing that the blood splash depicted would be a reasonable representation of … erect castration.
January 11, 2012 at 4:52 pm
Nah, castration is the removal of the testicles, that’s technically an erect penectomy.
Though you do remind me that I’ve always wondered if semen leaks out when you cut them (the balls) off. This seems like the place to wonder aloud.
#readstoomuchannericeandmaryrenault
January 11, 2012 at 5:53 pm
Wouldn’t the blood just ooze out, I mean, there’s no heart pumping it to make such a splash? Also. Why am I wondering about that?
January 12, 2012 at 2:15 pm
When did we kill him? I though we were only cutting his penis off…
Well, jeez, now it’s not fun.
January 12, 2012 at 10:12 pm
It’s under pressure when it’s in the erect penis though (which is how it becomes erect and expands), so there probably would be spurtage.
January 12, 2012 at 10:25 pm
All you really need for blood to spurt is to nip an artery. Accidentally poked myself in the hand with a knife once and before I knew it, there was blood going everywhere…from just a small wound. Severed penis would – I’m sure – involve a lot of blood.
January 11, 2012 at 6:04 pm
Some castrations were total. The Byzantines were particularly brutal with that, removing all male genitalia and burying them in sand to the neck. The men usually died from blood loss or infection if they didn’t exsanguinate. Eunuchs thusly created had to carry a straw through which to perform certain functions. *shudder*
January 25, 2012 at 7:43 am
In that case I count myself lucky that only my testicles were removed after the accident.
January 25, 2012 at 7:40 am
When I had them (my balls) removed after an accident, I wondered about the same thing. The other way, though; semen from my prostate leaking out the tubes.
January 11, 2012 at 4:44 pm
Why does food need to do stuff? Can’t food just be delicious? Without blood, gore, pervs, suicidals, shitty sweater wearers…
January 11, 2012 at 4:47 pm
No.
When I order a steak I tell than “I want it to moo when I stick my fork in it.” and “If I don’t have to chase it around my plate, it’s over done.”
Like Lions and other predators, we like our food interactive.
January 11, 2012 at 4:59 pm
Point taken. I’ll get some googly eyes from Michael’s post haste!
January 11, 2012 at 5:43 pm
Well, I don’t *quite* feel the need to look my food in the eye. I don’t need that level of trust.
If I did, I’d never eat at one of the local “Chinese” buffets…
January 11, 2012 at 10:17 pm
I just read an article in WAE about a Chinese billionaire who was poisoned while eating local delicacy “cat stew”.
I was hoping he was poisoned for eating cat stew, but no, it was some land deal/money combo and a business partner who poisoned him. His billions should go to animal shelters as retribution for his callous cat eating habits!
Sorry! Got off track – it was the “Chinese Buffets” that did it – all I can say about the pizza ad is, his abs, noice! His gold lame` boots, nooooo. And why do our censorship laws in Australia not allow advertisers to show penises! Severed or otherwise???
January 12, 2012 at 2:16 pm
What’s worse about eating a cat than eating a pig?
January 11, 2012 at 5:03 pm
No, my food should not moo unless it’s still wandering in the pasture. That’s the only place I should have to chase it.
January 11, 2012 at 5:47 pm
I’ll admit that I’m slightly more carnivorous than the “average” human.
Slightly amusing story; While having dinner at a friend’s house I noticed that her step-father and I were growling at each other with every bite we tore free from our spareribs.
The women never noticed until I burst out laughing…
January 11, 2012 at 5:55 pm
Me and Mine always order our steaks still mooing. I must agree with you. We growl over ribs, but that’s because if anyone comes near them we’ll take a hand off.
January 11, 2012 at 10:20 pm
Yeah, my brother used to stab you with a fork if you tried to take a sate` stick off the platter at a Chinese restaurant before he got his share.
Ah, good times!
January 11, 2012 at 6:04 pm
…but, I love it when my food does stuff. I get inappropriately excited, for an adult, over pop rocks and gummies in the shapes of things that I can play with.
I also now realize that I’ve just drawn a disturbing parallel between fun candy and a penis chopping pizza…carry on.
January 11, 2012 at 4:44 pm
Somehow the thing I keep wondering about is why he’s wearing hipster glasses??
January 11, 2012 at 4:45 pm
I was the victim of a random willy-twirler not too long ago. If only pizza boomerang had been there
January 11, 2012 at 4:48 pm
Point and laugh.
Enough people do that he might get the idea.
January 11, 2012 at 6:11 pm
Aww, I’ve never been willy-twirled at. I feel I’m missing out.
Have you ever seen puppetry of the penis? They do a dizzying array of willy-twirling. It really is quite something to see. It is of the utmost high-brow entertainment, I assure you.
January 11, 2012 at 6:13 pm
^I was using my best high society accent when writing that and it should be read as such.
Boobies
January 11, 2012 at 8:13 pm
Try “It’s like a penis, only smaller.”
January 11, 2012 at 4:45 pm
I love the Australian language!
I thought the microwave rock was going to start talking.
January 11, 2012 at 8:13 pm
*Pssst* just a heads up – that was in Spanish, not Australian!
January 12, 2012 at 4:07 am
HELLO? Never heard of the Australian-Hungry Empire?
January 11, 2012 at 4:46 pm
I have no idea what just happened in that video, but a man just had his junk cut off by a pizza boomerang and that’s good enough for me!
January 11, 2012 at 4:47 pm
If Cinco was really a Spanish company. Are Tim and Eric behind this?
January 11, 2012 at 5:04 pm
Their shows are so odd… and yet I watch them still.
January 11, 2012 at 4:47 pm
Oh I get it…it returns to him al dente.
actually no…no I still don’t get it.
January 11, 2012 at 4:48 pm
I didn’t know Bronc took up acting.
January 11, 2012 at 4:55 pm
Is the god crying glittery tears of blood in the opening sequence?
January 11, 2012 at 9:07 pm
That’s what I want to know!!
January 11, 2012 at 4:57 pm
The glasses are what make this ad.
January 11, 2012 at 5:03 pm
I couldn’t agree more.
January 11, 2012 at 4:58 pm
My favourite bit:
January 11, 2012 at 5:01 pm
Man! The speed in which a animated gif can be made is shockingly awesome.
January 11, 2012 at 5:01 pm
I really didn’t want to post this twice. I’m sorry. Where’s the delete button on this silly thing?
January 11, 2012 at 5:20 pm
No one deletes the Pizza Boomerang!
January 11, 2012 at 5:50 pm
In Spanish Greece, Pizza Boomerang deletes you!
Or just your penis.
January 11, 2012 at 6:19 pm
Thank the gods I don’t have one of those attached, to worry about!
On the other hand, I don’t have one of those attached to anyone who wants to share.
January 11, 2012 at 8:48 pm
Mugsy, you can borrow mine if you promise to take good care of it and bring it back when you’re done.
January 11, 2012 at 9:01 pm
Mugsy, someday you’ll be old enough for me to share
January 12, 2012 at 7:08 am
Mugsy, I think my wife has finished with mine…I’ll ask her if I can take it out of the jar where she keeps it and I can UPS it to you (FedEx if you’re in a hurry)
January 12, 2012 at 9:38 am
*fanning self, collapses onto fainting couch*
Oh, gentlemen, I do declare! You flatter me…and tease me so. I only wish I could take you up on your kind and generous offers, and rely on your kindness, but I much appreciate the whole man to come with his penis—
“And I’d like to see a man come without his penis!”–Groucho Marx
—so I thank you for the offer, which I must decline, but which will provide quality fodder for my bunktime pursuits.
p.s. OldPhatMC: I’m a lot older than my avatar looks, but you’re so sweet! I remember my mom telling me, “Mugsy, one of the great things about the Doodle women: Our avatars always look so much younger than our true age!”
January 11, 2012 at 5:02 pm
What in the everliving fuck?? Is this an actual ad, or an internet “comedy” short? And why the severed penis? I would have been perfectly happy if the skinny gross perv had gotten his comeuppance by getting smacked in the head and knocked out.
I’m a bit relieved I hadn’t started drinking yet when I watched this, because I would really be questioning my sanity. Then again, I haven’t had a drink since Monday. I must have the DTs and am in hallucination mode. That’s the only explanation…
January 11, 2012 at 6:46 pm
I think I might have actually been less disturbed if the flasher had gotten decapitated instead of having his penis chopped off.
I’m not sure what that says about me.
January 11, 2012 at 5:06 pm
This is here because we decided to eat pizza for dinner. I just know it. No one believed me when I said the world was against me. Okay well it might not be against me per say, but it’s definitely against my dinner selection.
January 11, 2012 at 5:26 pm
If he used hot pads his hands wouldn’t be Mighty Thor!
Also, can anyone find me one of those Christmas sweater vests on Etsy? I’m feeling like wearing something to work that would challenge the very fabric of politeness.
January 11, 2012 at 11:53 pm
Is the fabric of politeness available on Spoonflower?
January 12, 2012 at 9:44 am
Try eBay. I got one there for our ugly sweater party.
January 11, 2012 at 5:29 pm
Up until the severed penis, I thought I was watching a live-action Boris Vallejo painting.
January 11, 2012 at 6:03 pm
Oh goodness, yes!
January 11, 2012 at 8:15 pm
Except for the decided lack of tittage, I’d agree.
January 12, 2012 at 7:06 am
yeah, there weren’t nearly enough huge-breasted fantasy babes for a Boris painting…or a Rowena for that matter…maybe more of a Frazzetta…but even then…
January 11, 2012 at 5:31 pm
Holy testicle Tuesday! I’m so confused. That’s a gorgeous man, though! He can throw pizza at me if he wants.
January 11, 2012 at 7:52 pm
2:18 really did it for me. Whoever that guy is…he can churn my butter any time.
January 11, 2012 at 5:32 pm
I loved the bizarrely dark tear in the face of Hipster Wig Gladiator God at 0.23
Pizza burns on the roof of multiple mortals’ mouths make me cry too. (say that ten times fast!)
January 11, 2012 at 5:42 pm
There may be other ways to cool off a pizza, but there aren’t any cooler ways to cool off a pizza. Uh, and remind me not to flash anybody.
January 11, 2012 at 5:46 pm
I loved it. I’m not going to lie. I wasn’t freaked out by it, it was hilarious. Although, the amputation bit was a little out of place yet understandable. Why would pizza do that to a guy flashing his junk? It’s like vigilante Santa in pizza form…he knows when you’ve been bad or good.
I give it a 9.1 on a scale of 10. It always returns al dente.
January 12, 2012 at 7:05 am
I agree…the only part I found not to my immense liking was that, after all its experiences on Earth, the boomerang pizza returned to its God and said God ate the pizza…
..with penis blood on it…
Gods are weird.
January 11, 2012 at 5:49 pm
Is this going to wake up the intactivists again?
January 11, 2012 at 9:03 pm
That goes so far beyond circumcision that I seriously doubt it. And fortunately for us, the cheese on the pizza hasn’t been raised as an issue either.
January 11, 2012 at 5:55 pm
WHAT DID I JUST WATCH.
January 11, 2012 at 6:25 pm
Forget about your can o’ spinach, Pop-eye.
Put that shit on a boom-a-rang!
January 11, 2012 at 6:30 pm
What in the Jesus fuck was that?!
January 11, 2012 at 6:31 pm
On a side note, I’m glad that the suicidal man didn’t jump.
January 11, 2012 at 6:32 pm
Because there’s nothing to save your life from painful suicide, dirty perves and too much hentai on your bar b q that an oddly shaped snack that doesn’t resemble food sold by a naked UBËR geek!
January 11, 2012 at 6:36 pm
I half expected this to transition into “UFO PORNO!!!”
January 11, 2012 at 6:59 pm
Anybody else notice that the three guys who burn their mouths in the crystal ball are the same three that pizza boomerang finds on Earth? It makes you wonder, why would pizza boomerang go to help a guy then cut off his penis? How could you be so cruel, pizza boomerang?!
January 11, 2012 at 7:02 pm
it’s like the opening to an “Unsolved Mysteries.”
A man…in a Christmas sweater, almost kills himself…another man, in a park across the city, flashes a woman and grinds in her face, only to have his penis chopped off…another man, failing at grilling an octopus…they all have close contact with a UFO.
January 11, 2012 at 7:03 pm
I think Petja has given us the perfect description of this video: “Cunt, what the shit?”
January 11, 2012 at 7:07 pm
For a moment I wondered if anyone actually understood any of the VO and could translate… but then I thought to myself, there’s no way in hell it would make sense even then. And the bizarre thing is that the random antlers on the pizza boomerang at the end is probably one of the least nonsensical parts.
January 11, 2012 at 7:14 pm
There is an option to watch it with English subtitles, but yes. It makes zero sense even then.
The antlers are for reindeer flavor.
January 12, 2012 at 11:50 am
Reindeer flavoured pizza boomerangs. Yep, still makes more sense than the rest of it.
January 11, 2012 at 7:42 pm
A masterpiece of weird shit.
January 11, 2012 at 7:47 pm
Cunt, what the shit?? Seriously!!
January 11, 2012 at 8:01 pm
i’m in the weird part of the internet again.
January 11, 2012 at 8:14 pm
I have been reading your conversations at work for over a year..i’ve finally decided to join in..i promise i’m a fjl, and so sad I don’t live in spouthern California, for the first time in years…
January 11, 2012 at 8:54 pm
THANK GOD you posted this! I saw it on another blog and thought it was worthy of Regretsy.
January 11, 2012 at 9:31 pm
I said WHUUUUT like 5 times while watching this! Every time I thought I’d gotten it, it turned another corner. My GOD I wish I could post this one facebook!!!
January 11, 2012 at 9:32 pm
Can I POSSIBLY be the only one reminded of….
Quick Man: The Later Years.
January 12, 2012 at 7:01 am
LOL, now that you mention it…
January 11, 2012 at 10:44 pm
Try our Special Rudolph Flavor!????
January 11, 2012 at 10:48 pm
The flasher scene: “Bite it (mmmmm) a weapon of massive tasting.”
January 12, 2012 at 12:01 am
I don’t know what tat was all about….but do you think the dude is real or photoshoped?
Boy, I sure would love to take a bite out of him:)
January 24, 2012 at 11:04 am
Real.
Here’s the dude in the green-screen room during the shoot:
https://www.facebook.com/SofaExperienceCommunications?sk=wall#!/photo.php?fbid=210932915651960&set=a.137485152996737.37575.135715433173709&type=1&theater
January 12, 2012 at 12:25 am
Gold Gladiator clad Pizza Boomerang God is near-sighted and SWEET JESUS THERE’S A SEVERED PENIS!
January 12, 2012 at 1:48 am
I’ve dedicated the majority of my adult life to finding the absolute asshole of the internet at the time (4chan, reddit, somethingawful) and hanging out there. It’s desensitized me to a lot of the bullshit on the webs. And yet THIS video confused and frightened me, just a little bit.
Turning on the subtitles didn’t help, although it did make it slightly less terrifying.
January 12, 2012 at 3:11 am
One- at the ren faire, I know a guy who looks just like this, without those so-sexy glasses.
Two- I hope this guy got to keep those kickin’ boots after the shoot was over.
Three- I’m spamming the ever-loving fuck out of my Facebook wall with this.
January 12, 2012 at 7:00 am
carefull with the FB part…the scene with the flasher would render it reportable there
January 12, 2012 at 8:23 am
Pssh, if anyone on my friend list reports me, then they shouldn’t be on my friend list.
Also, the only people on my list that I’m related to are my kids and I’d probably tag them in the post anyway.
I’m a terrible parent.
January 13, 2012 at 7:45 am
My opinion of you has just climbed a couple of points
January 12, 2012 at 7:00 am
I had a question that I wanted to post immediately after that video stopped….I came in to post this question and immediately saw that I was not alone…
What in Holy Fucking Hellsinki did I just watch???
I am so very confused right now, and yet, oddly happier than I was just a few minutes ago.
Also: as a person who has traveled to China/Taiwan and was infinitely amused with street vendors selling fried Squid-on-a-Stick, I was twice as amused with the BBQ octopus scene (also, nice Etsy/Regretsy/not-steampunk tie-in there, eh?).
wow
January 12, 2012 at 7:19 am
It is posts like this that make me force-feed Regretsy to random strangers while laughing like an asthmatic donkey on the bus.
January 12, 2012 at 7:21 am
This video has changed my life forever. I will never eat boring round shaped pizza again.
And I really want to send my ex some pizza now…..
January 12, 2012 at 7:53 am
Sofa Films is a real company. They make commercials, music videos, short films, etc.
http://www.sofafilms.tv/
January 12, 2012 at 7:57 am
Was it my monitor or was the flasher Dawn of the Dead pale?
January 12, 2012 at 9:26 am
I noticed that as well. Funny—that was before he’d lost so much blood.
January 12, 2012 at 8:23 am
Is that how you throw a boomerang? It looks like he is throwing a shot put. I just thought I’d point out the most important inaccuracies here.
January 12, 2012 at 9:28 am
THAT is what bothered you about the whole thing? That he wasn’t throwing a boomerang correctly????
Truth be told, I noticed that fact as well…but then my mind was overwhelmed with all that came after it that I’d forgotten.
January 12, 2012 at 5:01 pm
You’re correct, he’s holding it all wrong.
This article has a good diagram right at the bottom of the correct way to hold a boomerang when throwing it:
http://www.boomerang.org.au/articles/article-how-to-throw-a-boomerang.html
/Australian
January 12, 2012 at 10:10 am
Well… that was both hilarious and disturbing. The outfit officially rocks, especially those glasses.
MethinksI think this is some sort of viral-marketing-let’s-create-a-meme-thingy. They’ve got a website http://www.pizzaboomerang.com/ and the facebook of the production co (Sofa Experience Communications) has some behind-the-scenes interesting bits – looks like they’re some sort of ad firm. But I cannot speak or read Spanish, so I’m taking a completely ignorant guess. Anybody up for a bet on whether it’ll go viral? Possibly not as it has been flagged on the ‘tube with an age restriction. Still… 300k views so far, but it still has a ways to go. Let us watch it develop…January 12, 2012 at 10:56 am
There’s a mostly naked, boomerang pizza wielding, gold gladiator & hipster glasses attired, slow motion muscles ripples Greek God;
A suicidal guy in the ugliest sweater;
A decapitation of a flasher that is laughed at my a female
A Chinese guy who is trying to try an entire octopus who also eats penis castration blood; Reindeer flavour pizza; and what bothers me most is that the pizza is microwaved.
January 12, 2012 at 11:39 am
Buh…ah… I… words… fail… WHATTHEEVERLOVINGMONKEYFUCKWASTHAT?!?!?!?!?!
Dammit, now I want pizza.
January 12, 2012 at 12:47 pm
From reading the subtitles I am supposed to understand that we like our Rudolph pizza hot, but not too hot to burn our mouths, and with extra meat, so we make it in a boomerang shape and throw it, and when it comes back cool enough, and covered with various fluids and germs, we can eat it without burning our mouths. Is that what everyone else understood?
February 14, 2012 at 10:02 pm
That is the conclusion I came to
January 12, 2012 at 9:45 pm
Is it terrible that I really want pizza now?
January 12, 2012 at 10:53 pm
So am I the only one who thought that dude looked like Alexis Arquette? Really? I’m the ONLY one?
January 13, 2012 at 12:02 am
The question is, do I really want to meet the person who thought that up or am I really afraid to?
January 13, 2012 at 12:57 pm
Viva los pizzas!
January 15, 2012 at 3:49 pm
…I just had no idea that Brad Pitt loved dick blood pizza so much. What did I just watch? I think I lost something precious I may never get back.
January 27, 2012 at 6:09 am
I’ve been thinking of little else since I saw this video.
January 27, 2012 at 12:33 pm
This is what I’d generally expect from Japan.