Indian Bummer
By the shores of the East River,
By the rezoned Greenpoint waterfront,
Sat the dipshit Hipsterwatha,
In her feathered Etsy headdress,
Near a shed of mossy barnwood,
Making super sexy duckface.
There, the clueless Hipsterwatha
Called her hot-glued nightmare “native”,
Claimed some tribal inspiration,
Though her only source of wisdom
Was a repeat of Bonanza,
And this season’s Top Chef Texas,
Because Padma is an Indian,
And wears feathers in this month’s Elle.
January 10, 2012 at 11:03 am
That is so hipster it will probably be sold before the day is over.
January 10, 2012 at 1:09 pm
shhh! It’s all a part of the plan. We here at the Anti-Hispter Aboveground have been making tragically kitsch crap for years. It’s hipster bait. These items, along with a certain beer that rhymes with “Abst” have been contaminated with powerful contraceptive. It maybe illegal to poison these bastards, but I’ll be damned if I let another generation of slick hair, tight-sweater-wearing, buddy-holly wanna-be’s misuse the word ‘irony’. For God’s sake, irony is the use of words to express a meaning contrary to their original intent. There is nothing ironic about drinking crappy beer!
January 13, 2012 at 11:56 pm
The definition you gave of irony is almost exactly a quote from Bender in the episode of Futurama “The devil’s hands are idle playthings.” Bender knows where it’s at and he certainly wont tolerate hipster bullshit.
January 10, 2012 at 2:53 pm
Totally hipster.
I don’t need to have majored in Native American studies (although, I did) to tell you that this thing could never be pulled off as authentic at any auction house. Unless we’re talking about some cartoon that materialized out of Where the Wild Things Are. That’s what this reminds me of.
On a related note, the vacant look on this model/actress’s face reminds me of a certain Eve. Except she doesn’t have the excuse of having to keep her eye on big snake.
March 12, 2012 at 10:23 am
That isn’t barn wood; that’s moldy Masonite.
January 10, 2012 at 11:04 am
January 10, 2012 at 11:12 am
shouldn’t that tear have a glitter?
January 10, 2012 at 11:23 am
If I was a vested member of the Glitterati, i would have added it.
January 10, 2012 at 11:16 am
Haha – ooh, I made myself sad. ;_;
January 10, 2012 at 11:18 am
Ironically, Iron Eyes Cody’s not a Native American either…
January 10, 2012 at 1:51 pm
Yeah, he’s sicilian.
Or as Dennis Hopper would say, he’s part eggplant.
January 10, 2012 at 12:04 pm
January 10, 2012 at 1:16 pm
Ah, the picture of a son of Sicilian immigrants pretending to be an native american pretending to cry so Americans can pretend to care. God bless us all.
January 10, 2012 at 1:41 pm
For a second I thought this was a picture of (now notorious) native impersonator Grey Owl (born Archibald Belaney). Now THAT would have been meta-ironic!
January 10, 2012 at 3:56 pm
Derpsters. Now this one is something to cry about. With plenty of glitter.
January 10, 2012 at 4:53 pm
Oh, gosh, this one really demands the Blingy treatment!
January 10, 2012 at 5:50 pm
Oh, and its from etsy.
January 10, 2012 at 8:23 pm
And a glitter tear for all the eagles who unwittingly gave their feathers for hipster stupidity.
January 10, 2012 at 5:45 pm
January 10, 2012 at 6:14 pm
Poor Betsy never did get to be a daisy in the school pageant.
January 11, 2012 at 9:30 pm
You can’t fool me. This is obviously part of some really low-budget hyno-fetish porn. It’s the only thing that explains the model’s face and posture. No doubt the next two pictures show her a. with clothes off and b. performing fellatio on a hideous greaseball in a curly wig.
January 10, 2012 at 11:04 am
And with the barn wood she made her backdrops,
Made them with the barn side inside.
Her to get the barn side inside,
Put the inside mildew-side outside.
January 10, 2012 at 11:04 am
Jaw-droppingly tacky. Just hideous. I defy anyone to wear that and not look like a six-year-old.
January 10, 2012 at 12:08 pm
I know! It’s left over from when her kid made it for the school’s Thanksgiving pageant! Right?
January 10, 2012 at 2:50 pm
I agree. It’s Apache effort, at best.
January 10, 2012 at 11:05 am
Ms Killer, you are a perfect human being.
January 10, 2012 at 11:05 am
This>>>
January 10, 2012 at 12:19 pm
Thank you.
January 10, 2012 at 12:28 pm
My friend and I were JUST talking about micro-aggressions and racism so I had to show her this. It’s like the Etsy God(s) gently handcrafted me a gift straight from the heavens in the form of you.
January 10, 2012 at 3:04 pm
I would have given this two thumbs up, if possible.
Just like Amherst would have given two smallpox-laden blankets to every freezing Indian.
January 13, 2012 at 1:31 am
While I agree that it’s not in good taste, especially not to just take the traditional-style headresses and not just “take inspiration” to make something feathery… what’s the verdict on when other cultures pick up Native American stylings? I mean if Japanese were to do it, or other people who never oppressed the native Americans directly, just interested in the style, like “Geisha-inspired”. Would it be as bad? Although I didn’t realise people were mainly using them for drunken parties…
January 13, 2012 at 1:33 am
For the record not trying to stir trouble but legitimately ask as I am Australian… so I steer clear of “borrowing” from our Aboriginal culture, but can’t see that if Native American headresses became popular here (and unfortunately I do know a very silly lady who wants one for parties) I can’t imagine that the same reasoning that “our ancestors oppressed their ancestors” would wash..
January 10, 2012 at 11:06 am
Does it resemble a dunce cap to anyone else?
January 10, 2012 at 11:06 am
How, white man. Me gottum real headdress. you spend much wampum to buy it.
January 10, 2012 at 11:42 am
Like these hipsters know what the fuck wampum is. -__-
January 10, 2012 at 12:02 pm
See the horizon and go beyond it…and rape, pillage, bastardize, and assmilate all whom you find. Never yield, always profit.
Wampum…by Calvin Klein.
January 10, 2012 at 11:06 am
It looks like she’s trying to cosplay as Shaak Ti
*Star Wars Nerd*
January 10, 2012 at 11:09 am
in that second picture she looks like she’s about to barf… again…
January 10, 2012 at 12:07 pm
In almost every picture in the store she looks as though she has to fart really bad but can’t quite get it out.
January 12, 2012 at 2:24 am
She seems to use almost the exact same 4 poses for most of her items.
January 12, 2012 at 2:27 am
(OK maybe not quite the same… but the same background settings which had me noticing the similar poses.)
January 10, 2012 at 11:09 am
Can you sing with all the voices of the mountains?
Can you finger paint with all the colors of the special school art table?
January 10, 2012 at 11:09 am
Wait…is that a still from the new movie, “Dances With Volvos 3D”?
January 10, 2012 at 11:27 am
…and accepting the Etsy Pick of the Day award on her behalf, Marlon Brando!
January 10, 2012 at 1:44 pm
You leave Volvo out of this! Everyone knows hipsters stick with fixie bikes and hybrids.
January 10, 2012 at 2:48 pm
Could also be the album cover to “Makin’ Love In A Sioux-ba-roux.”
January 10, 2012 at 3:21 pm
@postmenopaws, you’re on a roll today!
January 10, 2012 at 11:10 am
Well, I for one… wait… um…
No. Nothing I can add will top that poem.
January 10, 2012 at 11:10 am
I’m gonna make a papoose with a sock monkey swaddled in it.
January 10, 2012 at 11:11 am
She’s got the exact same idiot duckface in every picture. It’s like wannabe model meets lobotomy meets deer in the headlights.
January 10, 2012 at 11:17 am
I think that’s just the way her face looks. Too many Pabst Blue Ribbons…
January 10, 2012 at 2:22 pm
I for one want her to go on ANTM, get praised all first episode for being awesome, and then get yelled at for 4 more episodes until she gets kicked off for always using the same modelface.
January 10, 2012 at 2:54 pm
I thought maybe she was just trying to remember whether or not she left the stove on.
January 10, 2012 at 11:12 am
How would hipsters feel if Native Americans copied their traditional sacred garb in order to be ironic?
January 10, 2012 at 11:30 am
I love Hispterhontas
January 10, 2012 at 11:52 am
Interestingly her profile says she is an English professor by day. Egad.
January 11, 2012 at 12:48 pm
Evidently not an anthropology or history teacher.
January 10, 2012 at 12:37 pm
This is awesome. You just made my day.
January 10, 2012 at 11:13 am
That is truly as Native American as any Indian painting done by Evel Kneival on black velvet.
January 11, 2012 at 9:17 am
Don’t you DARE take the name of Evil Knievel in vane! Don’t you blaspheme up in my house!
January 10, 2012 at 11:13 am
Unique, and also one of a kind? Dull, yet stupid.
January 10, 2012 at 11:15 am
I wasn’t aware that Native Americans use Big Bird feathers in their headdresses… you learn something new everyday!
January 10, 2012 at 11:16 am
She calls this one a “Should Pad”.
NO, YOU SHOULD NOT.
Plus, her manservant modeled it as well, which is even better, since, y’know, GEEK DUCKFACE. Plus corduroy.
January 10, 2012 at 11:17 am
Sorry, link:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/89952806/green-and-black-feather-epaulette-should?ref=v1_other_1
January 11, 2012 at 12:51 pm
Yyyeah… you go into the office like that, and the minute you show up to the water cooler you’re gonna hear:
“Uhhh, Ed? Y’got a little schmutz there on your shoulder. You have a run-in with the janitorial staff? One of ‘em tagged you with a feather duster, bro.”
January 10, 2012 at 11:18 am
It looks like a parrot died on his shoulder and he just left it there for a few months.
January 10, 2012 at 11:23 am
It’s Pining for the Fjords!
January 10, 2012 at 11:33 am
Pining for the fjords?? Mate, that parrot is stone dead!
January 10, 2012 at 12:50 pm
Naaaaah! It’s just restin’!
January 10, 2012 at 1:50 pm
It’s shagged out after a long squawk.
January 10, 2012 at 11:19 am
Is that a headless parrot?
January 10, 2012 at 11:24 am
No, not headless, just pining for the fjords.
January 10, 2012 at 11:27 am
I was going to log in and post that it’s not headless, it’s a Norwegian Blue, but I won’t.
I haven’t got anything else.
January 10, 2012 at 5:48 pm
http://youtu.be/4O0BA6mkk7k this has been rolling through my head since I saw this picture.
January 14, 2012 at 12:08 am
Good work. I love this sketch.
January 10, 2012 at 11:31 am
Is she taking a pee? the things I need to know…
January 10, 2012 at 1:50 pm
I bet she’d get more traffic if she was peeing in the pictures.
January 10, 2012 at 2:56 pm
He has kewpie hair. o_o
January 14, 2012 at 12:12 am
And a tubby little kewpie face to match. Oh god now I’m imagining him naked. Tres kewpie indeed.
January 10, 2012 at 3:24 pm
It’s silly and I would never wear it, but I think these feathers are kinda pretty.
January 10, 2012 at 11:17 am
this is why glue guns should be registered.
January 10, 2012 at 11:21 am
Regretsians for Glue Gun Control! Think of the children!
January 10, 2012 at 3:07 pm
Oddly enough the basic rules of hand gun ownership also apply to glue guns:
1. Treat all glue guns as if they are plugged in.
2. Never point a glue gun at anything you don’t intend to glue shit onto.
3. always be sure of the background you are about to glue shit onto.
4. Keep your finger off the trigger until you are sure you are ready to glue shit onto other shit.
Follow these simple rules and tragedies like this CAN be avoided.
January 10, 2012 at 12:34 pm
Forget the glue gun, this girl needs a restriction on purchasing feathers.
January 10, 2012 at 3:19 pm
Oh, the plumanity!
January 10, 2012 at 11:19 am
Needs more swastikas.
January 10, 2012 at 11:20 am
Oh look, she has “steampunk” stuff too!
January 10, 2012 at 1:29 pm
Either that, or she has a Mardi Gras chicken stuffed down her cleavage.
January 10, 2012 at 1:57 pm
I knew that I’d seen the look before; and I am unanimous in that!
January 10, 2012 at 2:20 pm
Aliceblue, your artful creativity helped make a horrible day less horrible (not that it’s over). By way of thanks, I hope you’ll enjoy this (I didn’t make it): http://www.mediabistro.com/galleycat/celebrate-the-joy-of-books_b45160
More fun when watched on full-screen.
January 10, 2012 at 2:30 pm
I’m glad that you liked it! Sorry about your day, but thank you for the cool link which I did enjoy!
January 10, 2012 at 2:49 pm
It’s hard to top an AYBS reference, but I’m glad you enjoyed the dancing books.
January 10, 2012 at 1:58 pm
Oh dear, not sure why the 2nd post ended up as a reply but such is life.
January 10, 2012 at 11:21 am
Check out today’s Etsy Finds.
This chick is nowhere near the big leagues yet.
January 10, 2012 at 11:21 am
We need a new feature
Definitely not Native American
January 10, 2012 at 11:33 am
I second this notion!
January 10, 2012 at 11:38 am
In fact, someone remind me to bring a camera with me to this year’s pow wow. I wonder how many hipsters I’ll catch in the crowd. We can play a new game! Where’s the Hipster?
January 10, 2012 at 12:22 pm
Can we call it “Stuff White People Like To Like”?
http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/
January 10, 2012 at 11:24 am
She probably claims to be 1/164 Indian, most likely from the Black Toed Idiot tribe.
January 10, 2012 at 12:42 pm
And her great-great grandmother was an Indian princess.
January 10, 2012 at 11:26 am
My great grandmother was full Cherokee, so I was raised to have only the utmost respect for Native American culture. Seeing things like this makes my blood boil. I love when you call these twats out.
January 10, 2012 at 12:07 pm
Mine was full blooded Miwok and I’m feeling the same way! I think I need to go listen to Iron Maiden’s “Run to the Hills” now…
January 10, 2012 at 12:41 pm
Great grandfather was half Choctaw/half African American. He was mean as a tack at times, but a sweet old bear that loved nature and books. I think that’s how he won over my bookish, semi-flapper, Black great-grandma. He’d be doing 360′s in his grave at this shit. Seriously hipsters? Stop. A person’s culture is not a fashion statement.
January 10, 2012 at 1:16 pm
“A person’s culture is not a fashion statement.”
SO MUCH THIS!
I love how it is quaint and even considered aggressive for people to where identifiers and fashions from their own culture but when white people do it it’s edgy and cool. Seriously hipsters, this is why I hate you.
January 11, 2012 at 12:58 pm
And really, with these faux headdresses, it’s like if you were, oh, making an “Irish” fashion statement where you overlook Celtic knotwork, Irish wool, classy felted caps, the stories of Brigid and St. Pat, Cúchulainn, and the overall culture and style, and proceed to make a green poly-felted Lucky the Leprechaun outfit. With camel-bone shamrocks.
January 11, 2012 at 5:44 pm
Lady, such an important point. HalfNote, I don’t think this is comparable considering that, although the Irish in America surely did face adversity, it is nothing even close to a nearly total decimation and genocide that has resulted in the number one cause of death for reservation Indian men being suicide, systematic poverty (some reservations are nearly “third world” in poverty, and a huge disproportionate number of incarcerated American Indians. The list goes on and on. I think it needs to be understood that we are talking about genocide and still happening poverty and horrific shit.
January 11, 2012 at 9:15 pm
Point taken, and I agree. Although one COULD point out that they tried to wipe the Irish out, too, by putting them on dangerous jobs with little to no pay and making them, more or less, indentured servants. (Anyone remember “Irish Need Not Apply?”).
ALL of that aside, I meant in no way to detract from the plight of the Native American. I was simply making a point (and an EXCELLENT one, if I say so myself) about nothing more than the seller’s off-base approach to “Native American Inspired” goods.
I understand you feel strongly about this, and I CERTAINLY understand and respect that. But in a forum where levity is the local currency, you’re going to see most times a superficial comparison such as this, and not really an in-depth analysis. (SHORT VERSION OF ABOVE: “Hmmm…. I still think it was funny.”) ; )
January 10, 2012 at 11:28 am
Hipsters ripping off First Nation style is nothing new…those of us in the Mohawk Nation have endured the co-opting of our culture since the 1970′s.
January 10, 2012 at 11:35 am
You’re Mohawk, too? The power of Regretsy compels many.
January 10, 2012 at 11:42 am
Represent!
January 10, 2012 at 12:24 pm
The pre-1970′s hipsters were more concerned with ripping off Black culture.
January 10, 2012 at 2:39 pm
Exactly, Zippy! My mind went immediately to “Chocolate Jones and the Temple of Funk.”
“Girl, don’t fink on soul brother!”
January 10, 2012 at 4:15 pm
Native American is the new “steampunk”.
A “katsina” made from up cycled rusty nails, doilies, and possibly the left over tin from Chinese take out.
http://www.etsy.com/listing/68623740/katsina-3?ref=sr_gallery_1&sref=&ga_search_submit=&ga_search_query=Katsina&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_ship_to=US&ga_search_type=handmade&ga_facet=handmade
But wait …there’s more
http://www.etsy.com/listing/89010950/native-american-kachina-doll-sculpture?ref=sr_gallery_9&sref=&ga_search_submit=&ga_search_query=Kachina&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_ship_to=US&ga_search_type=handmade&ga_facet=handmade%2Fdolls_and_miniatures
The plus side to hipsters wanting to look like they fell out of the bushes, my friends might be able to sell of their shit pickup truck with the fucked up bed and mismatched door for $$$
January 10, 2012 at 11:35 am
It’s not even mossy barnwod, it’s mossy asbestos shingle siding.
January 10, 2012 at 11:37 am
You know, just when I think the posts here in Regretsytown are the best thing ever, I scroll down to the comments section, and teehee-pee myself.
group{FJL}hug
January 10, 2012 at 11:43 am
A Teepee – how appropriate!
January 10, 2012 at 11:38 am
Etsy is full of the hipster “Native” wannabe crap. It usually does involve unfinished leather, plastic beads and a variety of head gear like the idiot in the picture above. Plus which she is in violation of the Indian Arts and Crafts act for even using Native American in the title.
Everyone wants to be an Indian until they find out what that really means.
January 10, 2012 at 1:08 pm
Yeah, I don’t see people flocking to experience the reservation life. In this day and age, I’m confused as to why reservations still exist. I mean aside from poverty and alcoholism.
January 10, 2012 at 1:19 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
January 10, 2012 at 1:56 pm
Reservations are the remnants of Indian lands–shrunken territories that allowed for settlement of non-Native people. Either voluntarily or not voluntary. What they are are tribally owned lands.
January 10, 2012 at 3:25 pm
Ah, my bad. I thought tribally owned lands were called reservations. Tribally owned lands, regardless of the problems many communities face, obviously should continue to exist at the very least – that is all I meant to say.
January 10, 2012 at 3:21 pm
I for one would be happy to get my people’s land back now before it gets sold to some foreign country!
January 10, 2012 at 3:47 pm
Not all reservations are the kind you’re thinking of…a reservation just means an area where the land is owned and managed by a tribe and they get to practice tribal sovereignity. If you took away all reservations you would be taking native land away from its rightful owners, along with the right to make their own tribal laws, and giving it to the federal government.
January 10, 2012 at 11:39 am
It’s not even barnwood! It’s mildewed asbestos shingles. Trendy.
January 10, 2012 at 11:40 am
White, brown, teal/suede Native American/Indian Headdress/Head Case.
Also, the lack of commas is confusing. Is “Native American” one of the materials from which it’s made? Not cool.
January 10, 2012 at 11:45 am
I’ve never met a Suede Native American. If this is what one looks like, I hope I never do.
January 10, 2012 at 2:42 pm
I bet they paddle around in douche canoes.
January 10, 2012 at 11:50 am
Native American garb is gorgeous and no one is going to deny that, so I can understand why people try to copy it, sort of. Humans like copying what we find beautiful, whether it’s from nature or other groups of people.
But seriously, when the people you’re “taking inspiration from” are not okay with it, don’t do it. If you wear this around town, it would look like you’re trying to parody an important object in another culture that has been severely damaged by your own, not making a “high fashion statement.” Ugh.
January 10, 2012 at 12:40 pm
Exactly this.
March 13, 2012 at 10:33 pm
I love feather crafts, but noting I make or wear could claim Native influence. Do you suppose if I bought something from a Native American crafter and wore it, would I still be a douche simply because I’m white, and therefore inherently evil?
January 10, 2012 at 11:54 am
Ohhhh! Hipster Chicken!
I bet the nuggets on a hipster chicken taste like smugness and vinyl.
January 10, 2012 at 3:52 pm
They’re pretty obscure. You probably won’t find them!
January 10, 2012 at 12:02 pm
Reminded me of this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QPB45AUmchM&ob=av3e
January 10, 2012 at 12:13 pm
1/8th of me is offended by this. The other 7/8ths are white scottish immigrants so I would not consider buying it for anything more than 20 bucks.
On a more serious note, I feel like we saw this coming with the onslaught of “WOW COOL AWSOME” hair feathers?
January 10, 2012 at 12:15 pm
I am sure she is trying to make a statement besides “I’m stupid and got all of my education from Hollywood,” but what statement is she trying to make?
January 10, 2012 at 12:23 pm
I hate when models do the sunken-chest thing (2nd pic in the listing). I think that started in the mid 50s and was common in the 60s. Because looking like you have a dowager’s hump at 25 is attractive..? Straighten your spine, dammit, you look like an idiot! Oh, wait, sorry – I see she’s been identified as a member of the Black Toed Idiot tribe, my bad.
As for the shoulder thing… if there was a pair of them, they’d resemble (if you squint hard) a WoW shoulder slot piece of gear I can’t remember the name of. I’d log in and see if I saved mine from when my druid was wee, but my head hurts to much. Something mantle something… had matching chest armor.
January 10, 2012 at 12:25 pm
*too
January 10, 2012 at 12:50 pm
I hadn’t realized that, but you’re completely right. There are several different druid shoulders that have feathers, I believe. Such as these.
January 10, 2012 at 12:26 pm
I looked through her whole shop. Every listing. And all I can say is….bless her pretty heart. She’s trying.
January 10, 2012 at 12:36 pm
Beeby…you are so kind.
I wish I could be more like you. I mean that. I just had hate in my heart when I looked at the stupid stuff. You found something nice to say, when all I want to say is mean things. You are a special person. (Was I sarcastic? No one will ever know.)
January 10, 2012 at 6:08 pm
I would be crushed if you weren’t sarcastic in my general direction. <3
January 10, 2012 at 12:46 pm
Beeby, you’re in the South and I’m in the
Norother place. Isn’t “bless her heart” a polite Southern way of saying, “That girl’s as loony as a rabid chipmunk,” or have I been relying too much on Celia Ravenbark for my education?January 10, 2012 at 12:47 pm
It is…definitely is.
January 10, 2012 at 1:58 pm
“Bless their heart” typically equals “That poor person is retarded” in the south.
January 10, 2012 at 6:06 pm
I prefer “Nuttier than a squirrel turd.” But you are certainly correct in essence.
January 11, 2012 at 1:17 pm
When I lived down south in Lumberton, “Bless her/his/its heart” when directed at you was basically a personal invitation to a fistfight.
January 10, 2012 at 12:33 pm
This is a new trend because the hipster evils have ruined everything else?
Then again, that thing on her head is ugly. I’m sorry, but it is. This is me saying this…I love hats and I will wear almost anything anywhere on my head. I would not wear this headdress thing anywhere because it is just…stupid? Is that the word I am looking for? It’s not quirky or fun, it’s just ugly and totally out of place. (I know it’s not authentic, so I am not trying to say that Native American headdresses are ugly…they are usually quite beautiful and are appropriate.)
I’m going to go put on my fleece hat with the giant flower on it… I will offend no one but the flowers. I’m classy…
January 10, 2012 at 12:35 pm
My birth parents are first nations, my grandparents all are too. I’m as Indian as you can get. That picture makes me want to punch her right in the ovary. But I’m a pacifist, so I’ll just say “nah dude. Wtf?”
January 10, 2012 at 12:40 pm
Sometimes pacifism is over-rated, says the Tlingit.
January 11, 2012 at 9:48 am
There are occasions that call for Gandhi, and there are occasions that call for John Wayne. The trick is figuring out which is which.
Myself I’m leaning toward John Wayne in this one.
January 10, 2012 at 12:46 pm
Someone find a smallpox blanket to repurpose for this chick.
January 10, 2012 at 1:04 pm
Will one with herpes and vomit stains do? Oh wait, she probably already has one.
January 10, 2012 at 12:55 pm
Huh. I didn’t know Native Americans came in suede. I’m used to the ones with human skin and no feathers.
January 10, 2012 at 12:57 pm
Also…
January 10, 2012 at 12:57 pm
She needs to accessorize this with a great big Indian Good Luck Symbol necklace.
January 10, 2012 at 1:03 pm
I just Googled “hipster Native American” and LOTS of stuff comes up. This apparently is “a thing.”
A really, really horrible, stupid, awful thing.
January 10, 2012 at 1:06 pm
http://www.latfh.com/post/94491117/my-native-american-name-is-pokahontasshole
January 10, 2012 at 1:54 pm
It can’t be a thing! Then again, there is that whole Renaissance festival thing…but I don’t think they are really hipsters, at least not anymore.
This is an awful thing…stupid, awful. Blond women dressing up like this is frightening.
January 10, 2012 at 6:00 pm
You know, way too many things are things. Have y’all noticed that? I thought we had a pretty decent number of things, but the internet has increased that exponentially. My question is, where will all the things stop? Or will there just be more and more and more things, until we everything is a thing? Until *life itself* becomes a thing?.
Think about it.
January 10, 2012 at 1:09 pm
Oooh, ooooh, I recognize the author of that poem. Ennui Wordsworthless Longsmello, right?
January 10, 2012 at 1:30 pm
http://www.doi.gov/iacb/act.html
(US Government: Indian Arts and Crafts Act, 1990)
January 10, 2012 at 1:53 pm
Yeah, yeah, but what does the law say about if she is hot? Everybody knows laws and stuff don’t apply to hot chicks.
January 10, 2012 at 1:59 pm
You made me think of this.
I know you’ve seen it before.
January 10, 2012 at 1:45 pm
Yes. But to be fair, the listing says “Native American inspired” not “Native American made” or made by a member of any specific tribe.
January 10, 2012 at 1:48 pm
Wow… I live in the Albuquerque metro area which is surrounded by tribal land. I’m thinking you’d be pretty much guaranteed to get you ass kicked wearing something like that around here. Or at the very least receive a well deserved and very severe tongue lashing.
Besides it being pretty racist, it’s tacky as hell, and the model looks like she’s just sharted in like, every picture.
January 10, 2012 at 2:20 pm
THANK YOU!! I was trying to describe the look on her face. Looking like she had just pooped herself a little is a good description, looking like she had just sharted herself is an excellent description. You gave a word to my feeling…and I appreciate this.
January 10, 2012 at 1:51 pm
Next Great Regretsy
January 10, 2012 at 5:16 pm
Work of Fart – The Next Great Shartist.
Oh yeah!
January 10, 2012 at 3:13 pm
January 10, 2012 at 3:42 pm
Totally that.
January 10, 2012 at 5:57 pm
Yes, this! I was going to find one of these.
I guess she missed the ad campaign this year.
January 10, 2012 at 3:41 pm
Thank you Helen! I had been invited to a Native American hobo themed wedding. I didn’t know what would be appropriate to wear.
Thank you.
January 10, 2012 at 5:26 pm
Someone should probably point her here:
http://www.doi.gov/iacb/act.html
“The Indian Arts and Crafts Act of 1990 (P.L. 101-644) is a truth-in-advertising law that prohibits misrepresentation in marketing of Indian arts and crafts products within the United States. It is illegal to offer or display for sale, or sell any art or craft product in a manner that falsely suggests it is Indian produced, an Indian product, or the product of a particular Indian or Indian Tribe or Indian arts and crafts organization, resident within the United States. For a first time violation of the Act, an individual can face civil or criminal penalties up to a $250,000 fine or a 5-year prison term, or both.”
That would be enough for me to remove the “Native American” bit from the description, even if it’s followed by “inspired”.
Derp.
January 12, 2012 at 10:01 am
all the jewelry/bead supply catalogs i get have native-inspired stuff but they always put a disclaimer, something like “not created by Native Americans.” now i know why, thank you!
January 11, 2012 at 1:08 am
Can someone photoshop a picture of her in her hipster racist regalia standing kneeling duck faced in feathers next to the dead body of Chief Big Foot at Wounded Knee? It just seems so fitting.
January 11, 2012 at 4:42 am
Here’s a question, not snark related, I really am inspired by Native crafts- and want to learn more about them- I’m practicing porcupine quill work for one, and I’ve had a Tlingit inspired raven vest in mind for years. I would love to make it- but I am so afraid of stepping on toes-I do always try to learn about the symbolism and the significance behind my inspirations. But I still don’t want to accidentally trounce upon someones heritage. I greatly value the opinions of natives and regretsians (who seem to have good heads on their shoulders)- how does one go about that?
Now that that’s off my chest- let the Snark continue!
Clearly she’s working on getting her major in Anthropologie at HotGlue U.
Anthropology: the study of cultures and rich traditions of people. Anthropologie: the rich stealing traditions and ideas so that their customers can appear cultured.
(My brain’s not working well today- so this is really fragmented. Sorry!)
January 11, 2012 at 12:31 pm
If I make anything inspired by “Native Americans,” I first- try to study and find out which tribe I am being inspired by and then- I donated a large percentage of that sale to an NRC charity program, mainly one which focuses on education and fighting for tribal rights. I am talking mainly about my leather wrap bracelets which were brought back into fashion by designer Chan Luu but are “Native American” in origin. This way I can feel like I am giving back a little. Hope that helps…
January 11, 2012 at 12:42 pm
I try to do the same thing as well- as far as I’m concerned not only do you have to to get the item to look right but you have to because that’s the right thing to do. But I hadn’t thought about an NRC charity program- I think I will do that. Thank you!
January 11, 2012 at 1:11 pm
You appear to be approaching the whole thing from the right angle, too. Plus, “stepping on toes” can be an individual thing.
I know a lot of people (Catholics – who should know better – are the worst offenders!) who dangle rosaries from their rearview mirror, despite the fact that any priest, nun, monk, friar, or altar boy will tell you that YOU DO NOT DO THAT with a rosary. Nor is it jewelry.
Likewise I knew a man who was a full 1/4 Native American and who continually dressed in the gaudiest, cheesiest, hokiest dime-store “Indian” regalia he could find at any given moment. We’re talking like an Arby’s cardboard thanksgiving headdress for kids. So whereas some things are generally understood by a culture at large to be either offensive or not, some things are up to the individual person, and a well-intentioned, thorough approach tends to smooth any feathers you may ruffle. That said, if you’re not sure about something, ask someone who knows.
January 11, 2012 at 5:50 pm
Again, I appreciate your point, but we are not talking about a mere re-imagining of a cultural item that might be done in poor taste by people of that tradition themselves (rosaries on dashboards) or traditions which are under no threat, have not endured oppression, etc (the Catholics are fine, last time I checked)- we are talking about people who are still contending with the ramifications of genocide being completely ignored in popular culture except when their religion, attire, and traditions are being stolen by idiot white people who are only a few generations separate from the genocide done in their ancestors names.
January 11, 2012 at 9:03 pm
@Davkadeergirl: Which is an exceptional point, and one I admit I’d overlooked not entirely, but certainly hadn’t factored it to the depth I should’ve. Regardless, I think we all agree that it has to be done carefully and with sensitivity. Even innocent omissions (such as my own, in my previous point) are sometimes not excusable.
January 11, 2012 at 7:42 am
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January 11, 2012 at 9:35 am
I regret to sound like a bitch today (I’m lying), but fuck you. From all of the people who have been trampled, mistreated, stripped of their identity and mocked with shit like this. Fuck you.
January 11, 2012 at 10:43 am
Nice of you to decide that marginalized groups’ cultures, religions and “sacred mongoose” exist for your amusement and decoration, asshat. That’s never happened before, I’m sure.
OH WAIT.
(The bonus objectification is fun, too. Fuck you.)
January 12, 2012 at 5:06 am
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January 12, 2012 at 5:50 am
Dude, I only gave you one fuck you. At least pay attention to which person you’re insulting.
January 12, 2012 at 7:08 am
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January 11, 2012 at 12:33 pm
Wow if you get nearly 2000 views and only 6 hearts, you know you are doing something wrong.
January 11, 2012 at 12:43 pm
This would go over HUGE in 1958 with little kids wanting to play Red Rider and Hopalong Cassidy and “Cowboys ‘n’ Injuns.”
She may just have the wrong market.
January 11, 2012 at 12:42 pm
there is no such thing as “sexy duckface.”
“Duckface”:”Charming pout” as is “kerosene funneled into your sinus cavity”:”Good, aged whiskey”
January 12, 2012 at 10:05 am
Poses with Duck Face has a “native american” treasury, as well, with this winner featured:
*bangs head on desk repeatedly*
January 12, 2012 at 1:20 pm
Ew… all I can say is,
But Why Can’t I Wear a Hipster Headdress?
and
Go ahead and continue sexualizing American Indian and First Nations Women