By the shores of the East River,
By the rezoned Greenpoint waterfront,
Sat the dipshit Hipsterwatha,
In her feathered Etsy headdress,
Near a shed of mossy barnwood,
Making super sexy duckface.
There, the clueless Hipsterwatha
Called her hot-glued nightmare “native”,
Claimed some tribal inspiration,
Though her only source of wisdom
Was a repeat of Bonanza,
And this season’s Top Chef Texas,
Because Padma is an Indian,
And wears feathers in this month’s Elle.