177

Regretsy Math

177 comments on Regretsy Math

  1. CalliopeMuse2
    January 6, 2012 at 5:01 pm

    Those fingerless Glooves are so…….hairy looking……

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

    • Clumber
      January 6, 2012 at 5:20 pm

      All I ask is that, pretty please, no one tell me this has anything to do with “furries”. I don’t even care if you lie to me. Just please….

      Thumb up Thumb down +38

      • KharmaApple
        January 6, 2012 at 5:32 pm

        Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

        Thumb up Thumb down -136

        • Zoraboo
          January 6, 2012 at 5:34 pm

          Yeah, the lint trap fetishists call themselves linties.

          Thumb up Thumb down +189

        • Clumber
          January 6, 2012 at 7:35 pm

          No, I put quotes because i am fully aware that I am nowhere near the pulse of what new terms and phrases are and was trying to leave open the possibility that they prefer to call themselves something else now. TransSpeciest perhaps.

          No need to come to the party pre-offended. I am pretty damn good at offending people intentionally. :)

          Thumb up Thumb down +137

          • darkandtwisty
            January 6, 2012 at 9:47 pm

            I’m going to go ahead and assume KharmaApple is in fact a “furry” judging by their response.

            Thumb up Thumb down +75

        • EM
          May 15, 2012 at 2:57 pm

          FUCK “Furries”

          Thumb up Thumb down 0

      • Moose
        January 6, 2012 at 5:39 pm

        Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

        Thumb up Thumb down -242

        • Clumber
          January 6, 2012 at 7:39 pm

          Because i don’t know squat about such things, aside to be skeptical.

          Twat Bucket? A bucket of twats? Hmmm… I have one and wouldn’t mind sampling others, but i suspect my Spouse and her twat might veto. I can’t imagine a bucket of twats would be very hygienic… Is there at least some bleach in the bucket?

          Thumb up Thumb down +73

          • Moose
            January 6, 2012 at 8:25 pm

            Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

            Thumb up Thumb down -110

          • darkandtwisty
            January 6, 2012 at 9:49 pm

            I’ll just go ahead and assume Moose is also a “furry.”

            Thumb up Thumb down +85

          • coffeeandfish
            January 6, 2012 at 11:30 pm

            Certainly knows enough…

            Thumb up Thumb down +21

          • MissPlace
            January 7, 2012 at 11:15 am

            Moose, you’re doing it all wrong. Experience has shown that if you come on here and get thumbsdowned for being all asshatty, then the appropriate response is to be even MORE asshatty, not to try to justify your previous asshattery (badly).

            Thumb up Thumb down +21

          • Moose
            January 7, 2012 at 1:15 pm

            Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

            Thumb up Thumb down -35

          • Dynomoose
            January 7, 2012 at 1:44 pm

            Perhaps it’s a bucket made of a twat…

            Thumb up Thumb down +6

      • Alice_Dickey
        January 6, 2012 at 5:44 pm

        Ok, so guessing by looking at the responses to this, furries are on the no-no list of what we can poke fun at now?

        Thumb up Thumb down +161

        • KharmaApple
          January 6, 2012 at 6:32 pm

          Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

          Thumb up Thumb down -68

        • Eruanna
          January 6, 2012 at 6:33 pm

          Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

          Thumb up Thumb down -62

          • Eruanna
            January 6, 2012 at 6:34 pm

            Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

            Thumb up Thumb down -49

          • Clumber
            January 6, 2012 at 7:42 pm

            Again, my apparently evil use of quotes was only meant to leave open that I was calling them the wrong thing, and they may have an updated preferred name for themselves now.

            My goodness there is desire to be marginalized.

            Thumb up Thumb down +90

          • Eruanna
            January 7, 2012 at 1:02 am

            Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

            Thumb up Thumb down -37

          • HalfNote5
            January 7, 2012 at 9:56 am

            We prefer to call ourselves “panknotties.” ; )

            Thumb up Thumb down +27

          • rushgirl2112
            January 7, 2012 at 10:59 am

            Well, I’m offended by “idiots” who have enough “time” on their “hands” to “waste” by “complaining” about the “odd” use of “punctuation.”

            People clearly need to remove certain “things” from their “asses.” (See my post above.)

            Thumb up Thumb down +48

        • bethymania
          January 6, 2012 at 8:55 pm

          They may only be discussed with deadly seriousness.

          Thumb up Thumb down +77

        • stratofish
          January 7, 2012 at 12:32 pm

          Furries have feelings too, warm fuzzy ones.

          Or is that the they like to feel warm fuzzy things? Never sure.

          Thumb up Thumb down +17

      • Angry Butterfly
        January 6, 2012 at 7:58 pm

        I’m not going to lie. Furries have MUCH better taste, and MUCH, MUCH higher standards of craftsmanship. That’s why they are getting insulted. No furry would be caught dead wearing those.

        Thumb up Thumb down +42

        • Katy
          January 6, 2012 at 8:54 pm

          Idk, they already look dead. Is there a thing for that? Roadkill furries?

          Thumb up Thumb down +41

          • Postmenopaws â„¢
            January 6, 2012 at 10:05 pm

            Yes. But they’re flat out unoffendable.

            Thumb up Thumb down +98

          • MsBitchhands
            January 6, 2012 at 10:14 pm

            Postmenopaws wins comment of the day, IMHO…

            That joke was awesome.

            Also, google Road Waffles and read it from the beginning. DO EEET

            Thumb up Thumb down +17

          • Postmenopaws â„¢
            January 6, 2012 at 10:24 pm

            I will vouch for the fact that searching “road waffles” brings up nothing icky, pukey, disgusting, or even startling.

            I feel very brave, though, having taken the chance.

            Thumb up Thumb down +19

          • Alice_Dickey
            January 8, 2012 at 11:48 am

            No? In that case, try Cake Farts.

            Aaaaaaaand…. you’re welcome.

            Thumb up Thumb down +1

      • Trickster
        January 6, 2012 at 10:47 pm

        If it helps, I’m a furry, and this thing scares the living crap out of me.

        So, no, it doesn’t.

        Thumb up Thumb down +42

        • stayloose
          January 7, 2012 at 12:00 pm

          The first thing I thought of when I saw this was not furries but an episode of Sex & The City where Samantha gets her first gray pubic hair.

          Also, if it helps, I’m not a furry. Also not a Sex & The City fan.

          But I am curious, Trickster, do you personally tend to feel marginalized within a group, like maybe we are FJL’s but a furry member is an FFJL? Or is it not so much at the forefront of your mind?

          Thumb up Thumb down +7

          • angelbuttons77
            January 7, 2012 at 1:52 pm

            Umm….what’s FJL?? Excuse the ignorance, thanks!

            Thumb up Thumb down +3

          • stayloose
            January 7, 2012 at 10:22 pm

            Fat Jealous Loser =)

            Thumb up Thumb down +6

          • Clumber
            January 7, 2012 at 11:35 pm

            Wai…wait….Wai….Wait… WAI.

            Pubics go gray??!?! Fuck. I need to gain some agility and flexibility before I can check those… Currently the scalp hair only gets an occasional gray the same time as my spouse’s bday, I presume b/c she is a PAIN IN THE ASS to get gifts for.

            Thumb up Thumb down +10

          • Trickster
            January 8, 2012 at 3:53 pm

            I don’t think I would feel marginalized here since all I do is watch the fuckery and post whatever snark comes to mind. I’m not trying to be popular or fit in or influence people. This is just a comment thread, unless you meant some larger Regretsy community, and if one exists I’m not part of it at present.

            So I don’t think I’d feel marginalized regardless as to what goes on here. But if this were a community I spent oodles of time in and actually did stuff with, I’ve been in furry fandom long enough to grow a thick skin. You have to learn to not take shit personally, and be secure enough in who you are that you don’t need to jump prematurely to defense of furries when you’re not being attacked.

            There’s a tendency in the fandom for people to go, “OMG let me tell you about furries and how we are not perverts”, which is about as appetizing as a fruit vendor who holds up a sign next to his wares that says, “I personally guarantee I do not fuck my produce”.

            Thumb up Thumb down +26

        • Whirlwitch
          January 7, 2012 at 5:45 pm

          Hi angelbuttons. FJL = Fat Jealous Loser which according to some butthurt email or somesuch from way back is what all we Regretsians are.

          I really am, but as far as I can tell everybody else is awesome. Getting to call myself an FJL and somehow therefore be associated with awesome people is a wondrous thing that warms the fat jealous cockles of my loserly heart.

          Thumb up Thumb down +5

          • angelbuttons77
            January 9, 2012 at 9:35 am

            I remember the Fat Jealous Loser thing – didn’t realize we’d shortened it….LMAO!

            Thumb up Thumb down +4

        • Clumber
          January 7, 2012 at 11:31 pm

          Thank you. My curiosity is, for this one thing, satisfied.

          Thumb up Thumb down +3

    • MousePotato
      January 6, 2012 at 5:26 pm

      Maybe you could style them? give them a perm or put some barrettes in them?

      Thumb up Thumb down +41

      • bHrebear aka ursusknittus
        January 7, 2012 at 3:18 am

        It’s like something out of “Misery”… … and I’ll name this wristlet Mimi Devreaux Saint Claire Barbarella Sunshine… and I’ll brush her and keep her clean and make sure all the hairs are curled innocently…(rips out hairs with brush) “NOW LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO, PAUL!”

        Thumb up Thumb down +21

  2. Vagrarian
    January 6, 2012 at 5:02 pm

    Yeah, like the tree man…

    Oh lordy, them gloves are ugly!

    Thumb up Thumb down +17

    • Vagrarian
      January 6, 2012 at 5:11 pm

      Roadkill chipmunks! That’s what they look like! Yeah, I want winter accessories made from Chip ‘n’ Dale…

      Thumb up Thumb down +23

    • IronniE
      January 7, 2012 at 5:18 am

      Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

      Thumb up Thumb down -11

      • Vagrarian
        January 7, 2012 at 7:51 am

        It’s a disturbing sight, so I won’t fault you for that. I’ve got an iron stomach when it comes to things like that, but I know lots of people don’t. Sometimes I think I’m a frustrated mad scientist.

        Thumb up Thumb down +4

      • Postmenopaws â„¢
        January 7, 2012 at 8:17 am

        Close your italics! Were you born in a hipster blog???

        Thumb up Thumb down +41

      • stayloose
        January 7, 2012 at 12:03 pm

        gonna try to close these italics…

        Thumb up Thumb down 0

  3. UnwellPussyCat
    January 6, 2012 at 5:02 pm

    I’d have gone with a valley of the lepers scene from Ben-Hur.

    Thumb up Thumb down +21

  4. DetroitMommy
    January 6, 2012 at 5:03 pm

    get that woman some Nair!

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  5. WF11
    January 6, 2012 at 5:03 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -21

  6. centipededream
    January 6, 2012 at 5:04 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -78

    • anthropochick
      January 6, 2012 at 5:07 pm

      Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

      Thumb up Thumb down -60

      • anthropochick
        January 6, 2012 at 5:10 pm

        Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

        Thumb up Thumb down -32

        • bHrebear aka ursusknittus
          January 7, 2012 at 3:20 am

          and yet it is real. A debilitating cluster fuck of growths on the skin, there are quite a few of them. Some joined a group to make money through a circus, and there is a doctor working on a way to reverse the skin growths. There is hope for these guys but according to them, in their smaller communities life is decently normal still.

          Thumb up Thumb down +24

    • madelblue
      January 6, 2012 at 5:09 pm
    • AsianMen4Me
      January 6, 2012 at 5:09 pm

      Google “tree man.” It’s actually quite sad.

      Thumb up Thumb down +31

    • Vagrarian
      January 6, 2012 at 5:10 pm

      If memory serves, it’s the Indonesian Tree Man. He was a circus freak but it turns out his condition was treatable. He had a naturally low immune system (deficient in white blood cells) and was infected with a form of the HPV causing runaway growth of warts for 20 years. He’s been under treatment for a few years and I’ve heard he’s almost back to a normal appearance. All those growths you see are known as “cutaneous horns” made up of keratin, the same protein in your fingernails and hair.

      Thumb up Thumb down +90

      • Mrs. Lindfors
        January 6, 2012 at 5:26 pm

        And, if I remember correctly, his wife left him because of the condition.

        Thumb up Thumb down +6

      • MousePotato
        January 6, 2012 at 5:29 pm

        I wonder then if there is a treatment for the gloves…

        Thumb up Thumb down +113

        • SlySevSteph
          January 6, 2012 at 5:48 pm

          The only treatment for those gloves is to throw them in the trash!

          Thumb up Thumb down +34

        • MarchHare
          January 6, 2012 at 5:49 pm

          I hear you can burn or freeze them off.

          Thumb up Thumb down +32

        • Vagrarian
          January 6, 2012 at 6:13 pm

          Unfortunately, the taste transplant is still an experimental procedure.

          Thumb up Thumb down +40

    • bethymania
      January 6, 2012 at 8:49 pm

      A human being. His name is Dede Kosawa, by the way.

      Thumb up Thumb down +47

  7. cherriebomb
    January 6, 2012 at 5:04 pm

    The hubby needs these for his stint as the Werewolf when Haunted House season comes along next October!

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

    • Cuntsicle
      January 6, 2012 at 7:23 pm

      Yeah, I was thinking that these looked awfully Halloweeny–and what’s with the photo? Her hands look so LARGE, and like the fingers don’t belong to her (fake fingers)–*shudders*.

      Thumb up Thumb down +8

  8. trippingchristy
    January 6, 2012 at 5:05 pm

    Does she sell the other pieces of the Robin Williams Halloween costume separately?

    Thumb up Thumb down +78

  9. Knitibranch aka FiksuVittu
    January 6, 2012 at 5:05 pm

    They scraped that off someone’s stove in a really bad episode of Hoarders that involved a lot of cats.

    Thumb up Thumb down +78

  10. Refried_Bears
    January 6, 2012 at 5:05 pm

    If only she made Glingers like that, I’d be in.

    Thumb up Thumb down +24

  11. PeelieDutch
    January 6, 2012 at 5:06 pm

    Damn, I was JUST Googling “beige white curly gifts under 50″.

    Went with an upcylced felted tampon instead.

    Just my luck!

    Thumb up Thumb down +118

  12. abbynormal
    January 6, 2012 at 5:07 pm

    so what you are trying to say is i can make 32 dollars by selling roadkill squirrels to people as “gloves”

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

  13. madelblue
    January 6, 2012 at 5:07 pm

    I was just asking my wife how I could look more like Tree Man for 2012. Timely AND depressing. Thanks!

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  14. upscumbag
    January 6, 2012 at 5:07 pm

    I usually just stuff my excess goat hair into a shoe for safe keeping. Hot gluing it to sandpaper, though, has just opened my mind to countless new possibilities.

    Thumb up Thumb down +69

    • unhipsterchick
      January 6, 2012 at 10:07 pm

      Commenting to give imaginary extra up-thumbs. I think I will be giggling at the mental image for hours, or until the vodka wears off.

      Thumb up Thumb down +6

  15. maggledy
    January 6, 2012 at 5:08 pm

    The guy on the left is “The Tree Man,” his body has a terrible reaction to an infection. It makes him grow those strange barklike things. The gloves would do great for several different cosplay uses. Ogres are hawt!

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  16. montanabama
    January 6, 2012 at 5:10 pm

    What a goldmine! My cat hocks up about 10 of these a day. Bank!

    Thumb up Thumb down +42

    • RedSoloCup
      January 6, 2012 at 8:42 pm

      And think, you could get another cat and make twice as many ugly dead-looking gloves and arm warmers.

      Thumb up Thumb down +4

  17. ratdude
    January 6, 2012 at 5:11 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -17

  18. YouForgot2Evolve
    January 6, 2012 at 5:11 pm

    Now I know what to do with the hair out of my grandma’s brush!

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

    • Limi89
      January 6, 2012 at 5:24 pm

      If you get a long-haired dog, you’ll be in the money for YEARS to come.

      Thumb up Thumb down +10

    • MousePotato
      January 6, 2012 at 5:30 pm

      I read that as “Grandma’s bush”…

      Thumb up Thumb down +79

      • tijde
        January 6, 2012 at 8:06 pm

        I was reading while scrolling again and my brain came up with “My cat hocks up hair out of my grandmother’s bush.” O.O

        Thumb up Thumb down +23

        • IronniE
          January 7, 2012 at 5:22 am

          tijde – YOURS wins comment of the day…awesomely funny.

          Thumb up Thumb down +4

          • tijde
            January 7, 2012 at 8:23 am

            Why, my brain thanks you! I feel my avatar is particularly appropriate there. :]

            Thumb up Thumb down +1

      • RedSoloCup
        January 6, 2012 at 8:43 pm

        I did, too! And, I actually thought maybe it would work. That’s what you people have done to me…Thank you.

        Thumb up Thumb down +1

  19. chickensticks
    January 6, 2012 at 5:12 pm

    Looks like an unfortunate accident with a goat. Most of a goat, anyway.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  20. Nickadermia
    January 6, 2012 at 5:15 pm

    Those are the worst merkins I’ve ever seen…

    Thumb up Thumb down +36

    • OldPhatMC
      January 6, 2012 at 5:44 pm

      Merkins? Poodle-fur merkins? That should get “Best in Show”!

      Thumb up Thumb down +8

    • Princess Buzzkill Crying Glitter Eagle
      January 6, 2012 at 5:57 pm

      I just finished re-watching “Stage Beauty” and at one point, a mistress of ceremonies on a stage yells “GET THE FUCK OFF MY STAGE! AND GIVE ME BACK MY MERKIN!!”

      I will now search for that clip on youtube…

      Thumb up Thumb down +16

  21. Clumber
    January 6, 2012 at 5:18 pm

    Dammit! After grooming them we just toss our Clumbers’ hair out in the yard for the birds! You mean we could have been hot gluing it to random shit and SELLING IT!?? I see it’s time again to call my dad and curse him for hard-wiring “ethics” into us.

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  22. Lauraei
    January 6, 2012 at 5:19 pm

    Am I the only one bothered by the pose she chose to display these “gloves?” Bad taste runs deep with her because I can’t think of many poses that would be more awkward looking.

    Thumb up Thumb down +17

    • unhipsterchick
      January 6, 2012 at 10:13 pm

      I was thinking it reminded me a little of the pose of the kale-hippie-zombie-in-the-woods chick.
      If I’m remembering the right weird pose…

      Thumb up Thumb down +7

  23. pinkbits
    January 6, 2012 at 5:20 pm

    I once put my hand up a sheep’s ass for fun and it my hands looked like this. I lost a watch but I ended up with trendy fingerless gloves.

    Thumb up Thumb down +21

    • pinkbits
      January 6, 2012 at 5:22 pm

      MADE MY HANDS LOOK* Oh god I am too drunk.

      Thumb up Thumb down +5

      • carter west
        January 6, 2012 at 5:53 pm

        Whet I was a kid my Dad had a job artificially inseminating cattle. Sometimes he would take me to work with him. To get the cow “in the mood” too accept the semen you put on an arm length plastic glove and shove your arm up the cow’s ass, (I never want to meet the person who figured out this method but it seems to work). Anyhoo, after the artificial lovin’ you pull your arm out and most of the time bring out a big old hand full of cow shit. One day I asked if I could help and Dad said yes. So, just so every one here knows, I really have shoved my arm up a cows ass, and at one point in my life I lived in a house with a fridge full of Bull jizz in the basement. Thank you pinkbits for the memory.

        Thumb up Thumb down +42

        • KharmaApple
          January 6, 2012 at 6:40 pm

          And to think that the most interesting thing that’s ever been in MY fridge is a dead hummingbird my mother brought home one day because it was so pretty.

          Thumb up Thumb down +5

        • nom de guerre
          January 6, 2012 at 11:04 pm

          putting your arm up the cow’s ass isn’t really foreplay, it allows you to manipulate the cervix to get the insemination rod into the right place to deliver the payload.

          collecting the semen, on the other hand… well, just be glad you never had to do that.

          Thumb up Thumb down +17

          • pinkbits
            January 7, 2012 at 1:57 am

            But collecting semen is half the fun.

            Thumb up Thumb down +6

        • pinkbits
          January 7, 2012 at 1:56 am

          No worries. Now that I think of it, I think that’s how I was conceived.

          Thumb up Thumb down +7

    • Zoraboo
      January 6, 2012 at 5:41 pm

      …”for fun”? I really want to hear more.

      Thumb up Thumb down +6

      • Alice_Dickey
        January 6, 2012 at 5:49 pm

        I was thinking the SAME thing. When I’ve been bored in the past, I’ve never thought, “Hmmm, maybe I should go stick my hand up a sheep’s ass!!! YEAH!!!” I imagine it would be followed up by a high five to myself.

        I sincerely hope, though, that you got the sheep’s permission first.

        Thumb up Thumb down +13

      • pinkbits
        January 7, 2012 at 1:54 am

        I do it just to jazz things up a bit. It get boring making penis and boobie shaped crafts all day long. Oh, and vaginas. Never forget vaginas.

        Thumb up Thumb down +6

    • Alice_Dickey
      January 6, 2012 at 5:54 pm

      OMG my husband just came up with the title for your new theme song!!! Sung to the tune of “Hey, Soul Sister” only it’s “Hey, Sheep Fister”!!!

      Thumb up Thumb down +33

      • RedSoloCup
        January 6, 2012 at 6:07 pm

        That song really does need new lyrics. It’s almost like acid being poured into my ears after having heard it a thousand times now. I appreciate someone sprucing it up a bit.

        Thumb up Thumb down +14

      • pinkbits
        January 7, 2012 at 1:51 am

        I’ve always wanted a theme song. I think this is it.

        Thumb up Thumb down +5

    • TheSheep
      January 7, 2012 at 5:07 am

      o.O

      Thumb up Thumb down +13

      • Alice_Dickey
        January 7, 2012 at 2:05 pm

        Run, sheep…. RUN!!! You’re not safe here!!!!

        *said while slipping on a long rubber glove*

        Thumb up Thumb down +5

      • pinkbits
        January 8, 2012 at 4:49 pm

        Oh, hey there… ;) Thanks for last night. Was so much fun.

        Thumb up Thumb down +5

  24. pinkbits
    January 6, 2012 at 5:21 pm

    *made

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  25. faunablues
    January 6, 2012 at 5:21 pm

    Reverse the colors and you’ve got a full litter box on each hand.

    Thumb up Thumb down +18

  26. DontFuckWithMrsT
    January 6, 2012 at 5:30 pm

    I was thinking more like she was up to her elbows in sheep ass.

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

    • DontFuckWithMrsT
      January 6, 2012 at 5:35 pm

      Ah, I see you’ve beaten me to it, pinkbits! Great minds think alike.

      Thumb up Thumb down +5

      • pinkbits
        January 7, 2012 at 4:03 am

        I was doing it before it was cool.

        Thumb up Thumb down +4

  27. rushgirl2112
    January 6, 2012 at 5:34 pm

    Looks natural and organic, warm and cozy.”

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

    • Bitch Pudding
      January 6, 2012 at 5:42 pm

      The wad of carpet lint, hair and dirt my dog barfs up:
      Natural – check
      Organic -check
      Warm – check
      Cozy – …

      Well three out of four make it ok for me to sell right?

      Thumb up Thumb down +14

    • Postmenopaws â„¢
      January 6, 2012 at 10:12 pm

      Could be worse. She could have spelled it “coozy.”

      Thumb up Thumb down +8

  28. WhoopsyDaisy
    January 6, 2012 at 5:42 pm

    Barn boards don’t help those puppies…those poor, dead puppies…

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

    • OldPhatMC
      January 6, 2012 at 5:46 pm

      Dead puppies
      Dead puppies
      Dead puppies
      Aren’t steampunk!

      Thumb up Thumb down +16

      • RedSoloCup
        January 6, 2012 at 6:08 pm

        Yes, but dead puppies are organic!

        Thumb up Thumb down +7

        • orionova
          January 6, 2012 at 6:40 pm

          But dead puppies aren’t much fun, no no no.

          Thumb up Thumb down +14

          • RedSoloCup
            January 6, 2012 at 8:45 pm

            They aren’t. That’s the truth. Dead puppies are depressing and not very useful. Except to make gloves…

            Thumb up Thumb down +6

          • catherder
            January 6, 2012 at 9:39 pm

            They don’t come when you call
            They don’t chase squirrels at all

            Thumb up Thumb down +14

  29. Bitch Pudding
    January 6, 2012 at 5:46 pm

    An entire box of tampons were felted to create the matching scarf
    http://www.etsy.com/listing/79302596/women-scarf-wool-nuno-felted-ivory-white

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

    • catherder
      January 6, 2012 at 9:39 pm

      It looks like felted bandage gauze.

      Thumb up Thumb down +3

    • Postmenopaws â„¢
      January 6, 2012 at 10:17 pm

      Pardon me, but your tortilla seems to have gone all ‘splodey.

      Thumb up Thumb down +9

    • pinkbits
      January 7, 2012 at 4:15 am

      In what fucking frame of mind does that even remotely look good? 78 treasury lists? That’s it… I fucking rage quit the internet.

      Thumb up Thumb down +8

  30. justlikeabrickwall
    January 6, 2012 at 5:48 pm

    Mama’s warnings about hairy palms went unheeded. Now it is far too late!

    Thumb up Thumb down +19

    • emilyrocks
      January 6, 2012 at 6:00 pm

      Someone’s been “exploring their Harry Potter” a little too much!

      Thumb up Thumb down +9

  31. Shaniataint
    January 6, 2012 at 5:54 pm

    But how do they warm the arms?!?!

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  32. Princess Buzzkill Crying Glitter Eagle
    January 6, 2012 at 5:54 pm

    I’ll take “White curly gifts for under 50 dollars, Alex!”

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  33. Kestris
    January 6, 2012 at 5:58 pm

    Psst, your cats puked hairballs up on your hands while you were sleeping…

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  34. RedSoloCup
    January 6, 2012 at 6:05 pm

    I was thinking how I could just strap kittens to my hands and get the same effect for probably cheaper. Then I would have meowy cuteness on my hands and not something that looks dead and decaying. Decaying can be organic.

    Thumb up Thumb down +19

    • ClairetheBear
      January 6, 2012 at 6:09 pm

      Meowy cuteness on one’s hands sounds amazing.

      Thumb up Thumb down +15

      • Vagrarian
        January 6, 2012 at 6:17 pm

        I had kitten mittens once as a kid. Hand-knit by a family friend. I was bonkers for them. Didn’t care that a being a boy wearing kitten mittens in a rough-and-tumble rural elementary school meant I was in for a world of hurt. Damn, I was gay even back then.

        I still miss those kitten mittens.

        Thumb up Thumb down +42

        • RedSoloCup
          January 6, 2012 at 8:47 pm

          Now that would be good. Someone has to be selling Kitten Mittens on Etsy, right? And, a Cat Hat! Oh man, I made an awesome comment just then.

          Thumb up Thumb down +13

        • TooManyCookbooks
          January 6, 2012 at 8:48 pm

          I call my cat Kitten Mittens. That’s not her name; I just like to see what I can call them and still have them come to me. The destructive little one answers to Douchebag now, and to Quit It, Asshole.

          Thumb up Thumb down +24

          • unhipsterchick
            January 6, 2012 at 10:16 pm

            A friend once had a very large fluffy white cat and sometimes called him Slippers (not his real name).

            Thumb up Thumb down +4

          • Ladyamericana
            January 7, 2012 at 10:50 am

            Mine comes to Whiskers (his name), Purrbox and You Vile Feline with such consistency that I know if he fails to appear within a few seconds I have left him on the balcony again.

            Thumb up Thumb down +5

    • KharmaApple
      January 6, 2012 at 6:29 pm

      Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

      Thumb up Thumb down -13

      • RedSoloCup
        January 6, 2012 at 8:49 pm

        With my kitties strapped to my hands there needs to be no death. And, I’ll let them go soon enough…I’d just love to experience the meowy cuteness for a minute. Heck, I don’t even have to strap them to my hands…I love kittens just because.

        Thumb up Thumb down +16

  35. thatfuckhead
    January 6, 2012 at 6:09 pm

    That poor, poor hobbit…

    I don’t really want the gloves, do you think she’d make me a lucky hobbit’s foot instead?

    Thumb up Thumb down +20

    • catherder
      January 6, 2012 at 9:41 pm

      Run, Bilbo! Run!!!

      Thumb up Thumb down +16

  36. inmediasres
    January 6, 2012 at 6:47 pm

    A lot of small children will be most upset that this seller killed the Gruffalo.

    Rest in peace, Gruffalo.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

    • OldPhatMC
      January 6, 2012 at 11:34 pm

      Maybe it was his sister Janeane Gruffalo?

      Thumb up Thumb down +3

  37. Brad the Butcher
    January 6, 2012 at 7:11 pm

    I love you, Tree Man.

    Looks like she skinned some Hobbit feet and is passing them off as hand warmers. Poor Hobbits. How long must they go until people stop profiting from their unfortunately hairy peds?

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

    • Brad the Butcher
      January 6, 2012 at 7:11 pm

      Wow and not two comments above me… this is what I get.

      Thumb up Thumb down +2

  38. BadMiya
    January 6, 2012 at 7:27 pm

    Hmmm these gloves are usually how to tell your man really loves his job as a Nerf herder.

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  39. WhatInThe
    January 6, 2012 at 7:36 pm

    A hand job? No thanks, I think I’ll pass tonight hun.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  40. WagMomma
    January 6, 2012 at 7:43 pm

    I wonder if they’re made with organic cat hairballs or just imitation ones??

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  41. cafespresso
    January 6, 2012 at 7:44 pm

    These literally look like my cat’s butt. I can provide pics.

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

    • I_am_made_of_awesome
      January 7, 2012 at 6:14 am

      pics or it didn’t happen…(someone had to say it)

      Thumb up Thumb down +3

  42. thecreightonberyl
    January 6, 2012 at 7:54 pm

    Moom is going to have to explain to her son what happened to Squeaker and Porky, his pet Guinea Pigs.

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  43. somebidder
    January 6, 2012 at 7:57 pm

    Kale girl is back??

    Thumb up Thumb down +19

    • RedSoloCup
      January 6, 2012 at 8:51 pm

      There’s Kale Girl! She’ll know if these things that have been called gloves really are organic. Thank you, Kale Girl, you are appreciated. Remember, YOU, Kale Girl, are important.

      Thumb up Thumb down +8

    • Nebbish Without a Cause
      January 6, 2012 at 11:08 pm

      Thumb up Thumb down +37

      • Trickster
        January 7, 2012 at 12:08 am

        Sigh. Okay, fine, I admit it. NOW it’s furry.*

        And the look on that poor cartoon sheep’s face is priceless, but contrasting it with Liz’s smug grin makes this spectacle all the more horrifying.

        (* mostly sarcasm)

        Thumb up Thumb down +10

        • Trickster
          January 7, 2012 at 12:11 am

          Er, wait, that’s all wrong. By Liz I mean “whoever this woman is”. Sorry Liz: as I recall, you’re the one who butchers antiques, and you don’t deserve to be tossed in here (and vice versa for New Kale Lady).

          I’m starting to get my craftards all mixed up. I blame not enough sleep and too much Vicodin, or maybe it’s the other way around. :P

          Thumb up Thumb down +3

      • pinkbits
        January 7, 2012 at 4:06 am

        I can wear this shirt and listen to my theme song… while I fist sheep. My life is complete.

        Thumb up Thumb down +5

        • pixiemartin
          January 7, 2012 at 12:01 pm

          I believe someone should make that shirt. It is hilarious. I would totally buy that, if it fell within my entertainment budget for the month.

          Thumb up Thumb down +2

      • RedSoloCup
        January 7, 2012 at 4:36 am

        This is a wonderful picture! I thought today was going to be a bad day. How could I have a bad day now? I am going to think of this and smile… a beaming smile. Everyone will think that it’s my inner light…I am a happy being. Little will they know, I am just a FJL.

        Thumb up Thumb down +1

      • HalfNote5
        January 7, 2012 at 9:57 am

        I WANT that shirt. Please tell me it’s available.

        Thumb up Thumb down +3

  44. Bloodie Indy
    January 6, 2012 at 10:03 pm

    I’d rather have these as slippers. Hobbit hair is more attractive on the feet.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

    • Bloodie Indy
      January 6, 2012 at 10:06 pm

      And of course I’m late to the party with the hobbit comments :(

      Thumb up Thumb down +2

  45. Berk
    January 6, 2012 at 10:12 pm

    Omigawd. This is so cruel! Heartless and horrible.

    Gosh I wish I could stop laughing long enough to give you my patented industrial-strength Glare of Disapproval ™.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  46. Trickster
    January 6, 2012 at 10:50 pm

    Those poor, poor chinchillas.

    But these are not “fingerless gloves”. You need attachments to secure them to the finger or at least the wrist to make that claim. These are tubes of lint that *might* fit your hands, if they’re fortunate enough to be shaped like this:

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

    • catherder
      January 7, 2012 at 2:44 am

      Judging by these hands, I think Gollum heard us talking about hobbits and is here to look for his precious.

      Thumb up Thumb down +3

    • pinkbits
      January 7, 2012 at 4:07 am

      It puts the lotion on it’s skin before it gets the gloves again.

      Thumb up Thumb down +1

  47. tejasmom
    January 7, 2012 at 9:46 am

    I do nuno felting and it looks nothing like this. As usual, someone has put up something shit colored for sale – don’t they ever look twice?

    Thumb up Thumb down -1

  48. Steampink
    January 7, 2012 at 1:39 pm

    I’m still trying to figure out what “gifts under 50″ is supposed to mean.

    Under 50 feet tall? Under 50 years old?

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  49. aliceblue
    January 7, 2012 at 4:41 pm

    How the hell are gloves “arm warmers.” Bad enough she spends her time making and trying to sell ugly shit, does she have to misrepresent it as well?

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

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