Those fingerless Glooves are so…….hairy looking……
All I ask is that, pretty please, no one tell me this has anything to do with “furries”. I don’t even care if you lie to me. Just please….
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
It kind of bothers me that you put “furries” in “quotes.” Did you just hear about “furries” for the first time, and you’re putting quotes around them because you’re still not sure they’re an actual “thing”?
Anyway, this actually does have nothing to do with furries. Furries fetishize anthropomorphic animals, not lint traps.
Yeah, the lint trap fetishists call themselves linties.
… but only a real lintie has a linti-ris…
No, I put quotes because i am fully aware that I am nowhere near the pulse of what new terms and phrases are and was trying to leave open the possibility that they prefer to call themselves something else now. TransSpeciest perhaps.
No need to come to the party pre-offended. I am pretty damn good at offending people intentionally.
I’m going to go ahead and assume KharmaApple is in fact a “furry” judging by their response.
Just to possibly ruin your day for making such a comment, I’ll lie and tell you these have to do with “furries” you twat bucket.
How in the world can you look at these and think it has something to do with furry fandom?
Because i don’t know squat about such things, aside to be skeptical.
Twat Bucket? A bucket of twats? Hmmm… I have one and wouldn’t mind sampling others, but i suspect my Spouse and her twat might veto. I can’t imagine a bucket of twats would be very hygienic… Is there at least some bleach in the bucket?
If a partial or full-out fursuiter was to wear something fuzzy on their hands, they would probably prefer something that looks like paws.
These things look like a giant wearable model of what gets stuck to a shih tzu’s rear end.
I’m still alphabetically trying out words from the Sailor Trouble Study Guide, and managed to get my first gigantic thumbs-downing
I’ll just go ahead and assume Moose is also a “furry.”
Certainly knows enough…
Moose, you’re doing it all wrong. Experience has shown that if you come on here and get thumbsdowned for being all asshatty, then the appropriate response is to be even MORE asshatty, not to try to justify your previous asshattery (badly).
I’ll admit that I was an asshat but I didn’t think my justification was that badly done.. I literally pulled up the Sailor Trouble pdf and picked a word that I hadn’t used.
Didn’t really want to be more asshatty, I wasn’t expecting the 65 thumbs down that I had when I made my explanation. I suppose that’s what should be expected for posting a comment so close to the top
Perhaps it’s a bucket made of a twat…
Ok, so guessing by looking at the responses to this, furries are on the no-no list of what we can poke fun at now?
It’s not that we’re not allowed to make fun of them. Heaven forbid that there ever be anyone that FJLs cannot make fun of.
It’s just that they have better taste than whoever made these gloves…things.
This is in MUCH better taste:
A naked woman staring vacantly into space, an unlabeled link to a (horrifying) pornsite, and now what I can only assume is a coyote butt plug. Why, I do believe I have stumbled on to Regretsy again.
Im guessing that the offense to do with making fun of furries, and more to do with the odd use of quotation marks, seemingly questioning furries existance as an actuall group of people.
*the offense had less to do with
Again, my apparently evil use of quotes was only meant to leave open that I was calling them the wrong thing, and they may have an updated preferred name for themselves now.
My goodness there is desire to be marginalized.
I was only explaining my interpretation on what KharmaApple had said, no need to get your panties in a knot.
We prefer to call ourselves “panknotties.” ; )
Well, I’m offended by “idiots” who have enough “time” on their “hands” to “waste” by “complaining” about the “odd” use of “punctuation.”
People clearly need to remove certain “things” from their “asses.” (See my post above.)
They may only be discussed with deadly seriousness.
Furries have feelings too, warm fuzzy ones.
Or is that the they like to feel warm fuzzy things? Never sure.
I’m not going to lie. Furries have MUCH better taste, and MUCH, MUCH higher standards of craftsmanship. That’s why they are getting insulted. No furry would be caught dead wearing those.
Idk, they already look dead. Is there a thing for that? Roadkill furries?
Yes. But they’re flat out unoffendable.
Postmenopaws wins comment of the day, IMHO…
That joke was awesome.
Also, google Road Waffles and read it from the beginning. DO EEET
I will vouch for the fact that searching “road waffles” brings up nothing icky, pukey, disgusting, or even startling.
I feel very brave, though, having taken the chance.
No? In that case, try Cake Farts.
Aaaaaaaand…. you’re welcome.
If it helps, I’m a furry, and this thing scares the living crap out of me.
So, no, it doesn’t.
The first thing I thought of when I saw this was not furries but an episode of Sex & The City where Samantha gets her first gray pubic hair.
Also, if it helps, I’m not a furry. Also not a Sex & The City fan.
But I am curious, Trickster, do you personally tend to feel marginalized within a group, like maybe we are FJL’s but a furry member is an FFJL? Or is it not so much at the forefront of your mind?
Umm….what’s FJL?? Excuse the ignorance, thanks!
Fat Jealous Loser =)
Pubics go gray??!?! Fuck. I need to gain some agility and flexibility before I can check those… Currently the scalp hair only gets an occasional gray the same time as my spouse’s bday, I presume b/c she is a PAIN IN THE ASS to get gifts for.
I don’t think I would feel marginalized here since all I do is watch the fuckery and post whatever snark comes to mind. I’m not trying to be popular or fit in or influence people. This is just a comment thread, unless you meant some larger Regretsy community, and if one exists I’m not part of it at present.
So I don’t think I’d feel marginalized regardless as to what goes on here. But if this were a community I spent oodles of time in and actually did stuff with, I’ve been in furry fandom long enough to grow a thick skin. You have to learn to not take shit personally, and be secure enough in who you are that you don’t need to jump prematurely to defense of furries when you’re not being attacked.
There’s a tendency in the fandom for people to go, “OMG let me tell you about furries and how we are not perverts”, which is about as appetizing as a fruit vendor who holds up a sign next to his wares that says, “I personally guarantee I do not fuck my produce”.
Hi angelbuttons. FJL = Fat Jealous Loser which according to some butthurt email or somesuch from way back is what all we Regretsians are.
I really am, but as far as I can tell everybody else is awesome. Getting to call myself an FJL and somehow therefore be associated with awesome people is a wondrous thing that warms the fat jealous cockles of my loserly heart.
I remember the Fat Jealous Loser thing – didn’t realize we’d shortened it….LMAO!
Thank you. My curiosity is, for this one thing, satisfied.
Maybe you could style them? give them a perm or put some barrettes in them?
It’s like something out of “Misery”… … and I’ll name this wristlet Mimi Devreaux Saint Claire Barbarella Sunshine… and I’ll brush her and keep her clean and make sure all the hairs are curled innocently…(rips out hairs with brush) “NOW LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO, PAUL!”
Yeah, like the tree man…
Oh lordy, them gloves are ugly!
Roadkill chipmunks! That’s what they look like! Yeah, I want winter accessories made from Chip ‘n’ Dale…
I was ok until I scrolled and saw the tree man – threw up in my a mouth a little bit…
commence villification of me for that…g’head…
It’s a disturbing sight, so I won’t fault you for that. I’ve got an iron stomach when it comes to things like that, but I know lots of people don’t. Sometimes I think I’m a frustrated mad scientist.
Close your italics! Were you born in a hipster blog???
I love you.
gonna try to close these italics…
I’d have gone with a valley of the lepers scene from Ben-Hur.
get that woman some Nair!
Omg it’s the tree man!!!!
EW EW EW EW EW EW can someone explain to me what that first picture is?! I think this is worse than blue waffle. . .
Hey don’t be all hatery – I don’t know what it is, either! Srsly, wtf is wrong with that chick… Must’ve missed that meme.
Ah ok – ‘tree man of java.’ That does not look at all real.
and yet it is real. A debilitating cluster fuck of growths on the skin, there are quite a few of them. Some joined a group to make money through a circus, and there is a doctor working on a way to reverse the skin growths. There is hope for these guys but according to them, in their smaller communities life is decently normal still.
or just read the reply from vagrarian… oops. Did not mean to double post info.
Tree man. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DStwXsmZ3OE
Google “tree man.” It’s actually quite sad.
If memory serves, it’s the Indonesian Tree Man. He was a circus freak but it turns out his condition was treatable. He had a naturally low immune system (deficient in white blood cells) and was infected with a form of the HPV causing runaway growth of warts for 20 years. He’s been under treatment for a few years and I’ve heard he’s almost back to a normal appearance. All those growths you see are known as “cutaneous horns” made up of keratin, the same protein in your fingernails and hair.
And, if I remember correctly, his wife left him because of the condition.
I wonder then if there is a treatment for the gloves…
The only treatment for those gloves is to throw them in the trash!
I hear you can burn or freeze them off.
Unfortunately, the taste transplant is still an experimental procedure.
A human being. His name is Dede Kosawa, by the way.
The hubby needs these for his stint as the Werewolf when Haunted House season comes along next October!
Yeah, I was thinking that these looked awfully Halloweeny–and what’s with the photo? Her hands look so LARGE, and like the fingers don’t belong to her (fake fingers)–*shudders*.
Does she sell the other pieces of the Robin Williams Halloween costume separately?
They scraped that off someone’s stove in a really bad episode of Hoarders that involved a lot of cats.
If only she made Glingers like that, I’d be in.
Damn, I was JUST Googling “beige white curly gifts under 50″.
Went with an upcylced felted tampon instead.
Just my luck!
so what you are trying to say is i can make 32 dollars by selling roadkill squirrels to people as “gloves”
I was just asking my wife how I could look more like Tree Man for 2012. Timely AND depressing. Thanks!
I usually just stuff my excess goat hair into a shoe for safe keeping. Hot gluing it to sandpaper, though, has just opened my mind to countless new possibilities.
Commenting to give imaginary extra up-thumbs. I think I will be giggling at the mental image for hours, or until the vodka wears off.
The guy on the left is “The Tree Man,” his body has a terrible reaction to an infection. It makes him grow those strange barklike things. The gloves would do great for several different cosplay uses. Ogres are hawt!
What a goldmine! My cat hocks up about 10 of these a day. Bank!
And think, you could get another cat and make twice as many ugly dead-looking gloves and arm warmers.
holy fucking pigshit, woman – i could have gone ahead and lived the rest of my life not knowing about this poor tree man person! and i’m a regular user of rotten.com!
Now I know what to do with the hair out of my grandma’s brush!
If you get a long-haired dog, you’ll be in the money for YEARS to come.
I read that as “Grandma’s bush”…
I was reading while scrolling again and my brain came up with “My cat hocks up hair out of my grandmother’s bush.” O.O
tijde – YOURS wins comment of the day…awesomely funny.
Why, my brain thanks you! I feel my avatar is particularly appropriate there. :]
I did, too! And, I actually thought maybe it would work. That’s what you people have done to me…Thank you.
Looks like an unfortunate accident with a goat. Most of a goat, anyway.
Those are the worst merkins I’ve ever seen…
Merkins? Poodle-fur merkins? That should get “Best in Show”!
I just finished re-watching “Stage Beauty” and at one point, a mistress of ceremonies on a stage yells “GET THE FUCK OFF MY STAGE! AND GIVE ME BACK MY MERKIN!!”
I will now search for that clip on youtube…
Dammit! After grooming them we just toss our Clumbers’ hair out in the yard for the birds! You mean we could have been hot gluing it to random shit and SELLING IT!?? I see it’s time again to call my dad and curse him for hard-wiring “ethics” into us.
Am I the only one bothered by the pose she chose to display these “gloves?” Bad taste runs deep with her because I can’t think of many poses that would be more awkward looking.
I was thinking it reminded me a little of the pose of the kale-hippie-zombie-in-the-woods chick.
If I’m remembering the right weird pose…
I once put my hand up a sheep’s ass for fun and it my hands looked like this. I lost a watch but I ended up with trendy fingerless gloves.
MADE MY HANDS LOOK* Oh god I am too drunk.
Whet I was a kid my Dad had a job artificially inseminating cattle. Sometimes he would take me to work with him. To get the cow “in the mood” too accept the semen you put on an arm length plastic glove and shove your arm up the cow’s ass, (I never want to meet the person who figured out this method but it seems to work). Anyhoo, after the artificial lovin’ you pull your arm out and most of the time bring out a big old hand full of cow shit. One day I asked if I could help and Dad said yes. So, just so every one here knows, I really have shoved my arm up a cows ass, and at one point in my life I lived in a house with a fridge full of Bull jizz in the basement. Thank you pinkbits for the memory.
And to think that the most interesting thing that’s ever been in MY fridge is a dead hummingbird my mother brought home one day because it was so pretty.
putting your arm up the cow’s ass isn’t really foreplay, it allows you to manipulate the cervix to get the insemination rod into the right place to deliver the payload.
collecting the semen, on the other hand… well, just be glad you never had to do that.
But collecting semen is half the fun.
No worries. Now that I think of it, I think that’s how I was conceived.
…”for fun”? I really want to hear more.
I was thinking the SAME thing. When I’ve been bored in the past, I’ve never thought, “Hmmm, maybe I should go stick my hand up a sheep’s ass!!! YEAH!!!” I imagine it would be followed up by a high five to myself.
I sincerely hope, though, that you got the sheep’s permission first.
I do it just to jazz things up a bit. It get boring making penis and boobie shaped crafts all day long. Oh, and vaginas. Never forget vaginas.
OMG my husband just came up with the title for your new theme song!!! Sung to the tune of “Hey, Soul Sister” only it’s “Hey, Sheep Fister”!!!
That song really does need new lyrics. It’s almost like acid being poured into my ears after having heard it a thousand times now. I appreciate someone sprucing it up a bit.
I’ve always wanted a theme song. I think this is it.
Run, sheep…. RUN!!! You’re not safe here!!!!
*said while slipping on a long rubber glove*
Oh, hey there… Thanks for last night. Was so much fun.
Reverse the colors and you’ve got a full litter box on each hand.
I was thinking more like she was up to her elbows in sheep ass.
Ah, I see you’ve beaten me to it, pinkbits! Great minds think alike.
I was doing it before it was cool.
“Looks natural and organic, warm and cozy.”
The wad of carpet lint, hair and dirt my dog barfs up:
Natural – check
Warm – check
Cozy – …
Well three out of four make it ok for me to sell right?
Could be worse. She could have spelled it “coozy.”
Barn boards don’t help those puppies…those poor, dead puppies…
Yes, but dead puppies are organic!
But dead puppies aren’t much fun, no no no.
They aren’t. That’s the truth. Dead puppies are depressing and not very useful. Except to make gloves…
They don’t come when you call
They don’t chase squirrels at all
An entire box of tampons were felted to create the matching scarf
It looks like felted bandage gauze.
Pardon me, but your tortilla seems to have gone all ‘splodey.
In what fucking frame of mind does that even remotely look good? 78 treasury lists? That’s it… I fucking rage quit the internet.
Mama’s warnings about hairy palms went unheeded. Now it is far too late!
Someone’s been “exploring their Harry Potter” a little too much!
But how do they warm the arms?!?!
I’ll take “White curly gifts for under 50 dollars, Alex!”
Psst, your cats puked hairballs up on your hands while you were sleeping…
I was thinking how I could just strap kittens to my hands and get the same effect for probably cheaper. Then I would have meowy cuteness on my hands and not something that looks dead and decaying. Decaying can be organic.
Meowy cuteness on one’s hands sounds amazing.
I had kitten mittens once as a kid. Hand-knit by a family friend. I was bonkers for them. Didn’t care that a being a boy wearing kitten mittens in a rough-and-tumble rural elementary school meant I was in for a world of hurt. Damn, I was gay even back then.
I still miss those kitten mittens.
Now that would be good. Someone has to be selling Kitten Mittens on Etsy, right? And, a Cat Hat! Oh man, I made an awesome comment just then.
I call my cat Kitten Mittens. That’s not her name; I just like to see what I can call them and still have them come to me. The destructive little one answers to Douchebag now, and to Quit It, Asshole.
A friend once had a very large fluffy white cat and sometimes called him Slippers (not his real name).
Mine comes to Whiskers (his name), Purrbox and You Vile Feline with such consistency that I know if he fails to appear within a few seconds I have left him on the balcony again.
I can’t really see a scenario that starts with strapping kittens to your hands and fails to end with dead and decaying.
…is that too far?
…or do I even care?
YOU WILL NEVER KNOW THE ANSWERS.
With my kitties strapped to my hands there needs to be no death. And, I’ll let them go soon enough…I’d just love to experience the meowy cuteness for a minute. Heck, I don’t even have to strap them to my hands…I love kittens just because.
That poor, poor hobbit…
I don’t really want the gloves, do you think she’d make me a lucky hobbit’s foot instead?
Run, Bilbo! Run!!!
A lot of small children will be most upset that this seller killed the Gruffalo.
Rest in peace, Gruffalo.
Maybe it was his sister Janeane Gruffalo?
I love you, Tree Man.
Looks like she skinned some Hobbit feet and is passing them off as hand warmers. Poor Hobbits. How long must they go until people stop profiting from their unfortunately hairy peds?
Wow and not two comments above me… this is what I get.
Hmmm these gloves are usually how to tell your man really loves his job as a Nerf herder.
A hand job? No thanks, I think I’ll pass tonight hun.
I wonder if they’re made with organic cat hairballs or just imitation ones??
These literally look like my cat’s butt. I can provide pics.
pics or it didn’t happen…(someone had to say it)
Moom is going to have to explain to her son what happened to Squeaker and Porky, his pet Guinea Pigs.
Kale girl is back??
There’s Kale Girl! She’ll know if these things that have been called gloves really are organic. Thank you, Kale Girl, you are appreciated. Remember, YOU, Kale Girl, are important.
Sigh. Okay, fine, I admit it. NOW it’s furry.*
And the look on that poor cartoon sheep’s face is priceless, but contrasting it with Liz’s smug grin makes this spectacle all the more horrifying.
(* mostly sarcasm)
Er, wait, that’s all wrong. By Liz I mean “whoever this woman is”. Sorry Liz: as I recall, you’re the one who butchers antiques, and you don’t deserve to be tossed in here (and vice versa for New Kale Lady).
I’m starting to get my craftards all mixed up. I blame not enough sleep and too much Vicodin, or maybe it’s the other way around.
I can wear this shirt and listen to my theme song… while I fist sheep. My life is complete.
I believe someone should make that shirt. It is hilarious. I would totally buy that, if it fell within my entertainment budget for the month.
This is a wonderful picture! I thought today was going to be a bad day. How could I have a bad day now? I am going to think of this and smile… a beaming smile. Everyone will think that it’s my inner light…I am a happy being. Little will they know, I am just a FJL.
I WANT that shirt. Please tell me it’s available.
I’d rather have these as slippers. Hobbit hair is more attractive on the feet.
And of course I’m late to the party with the hobbit comments
Omigawd. This is so cruel! Heartless and horrible.
Gosh I wish I could stop laughing long enough to give you my patented industrial-strength Glare of Disapproval ™.
Those poor, poor chinchillas.
But these are not “fingerless gloves”. You need attachments to secure them to the finger or at least the wrist to make that claim. These are tubes of lint that *might* fit your hands, if they’re fortunate enough to be shaped like this:
Judging by these hands, I think Gollum heard us talking about hobbits and is here to look for his precious.
It puts the lotion on it’s skin before it gets the gloves again.
I do nuno felting and it looks nothing like this. As usual, someone has put up something shit colored for sale – don’t they ever look twice?
I’m still trying to figure out what “gifts under 50″ is supposed to mean.
Under 50 feet tall? Under 50 years old?
Under $50 – for people who shop by price.
How the hell are gloves “arm warmers.” Bad enough she spends her time making and trying to sell ugly shit, does she have to misrepresent it as well?
You must be logged in to post a comment.
The term "Etsy" is a trademark of Etsy, Inc. This site is not affiliated with Etsy, Inc.