Sometimes people get so excited about how clever their ideas are that they don’t really think about them from three paces away. This makes me think of the McDonalds billboard from a few years ago, “Double Cheeseburger? I’d hit it!” Popular != clever.
However….it would be a very effective form of punishment.
“Clean this room up right now…or so help me I’m going to put Darth Vader in your window again!”
Regretsy’s next book progect: FJL Parenting for FJLs. I’d like to guest write a short chapter on the use of handcrafted wooden spoons as child torture weapons. You can do yours on this.
That is AWESOME. What better way to deter intruders than having Vader ready to lop off their heads with his lightsaber when they enter through the window?
And then he’d be all “I find your lack of brains… disturbing.”
I’m having a horrible brain-crossover from when I saw Equus a few years ago. It has provided me with the mental image of the “Shit!” Horse peering in under curtain-Potter’s crotch.
I’m going to go against the flock here (hee hee get it?) and say I think they are kind of charming for a child’s room. I imagine whoever actually owns the original images is going to be pissed, however.
I’m pretty sure the insignia he’s got on his robe too is for house Hufflepuff (actually I don’t think it is now)… but it does look like some weird creepy hybrid badger-lion.
Nebbish Without a Cause
January 6, 2012 at 2:53 pm
Actually, this made me think of the scene in “A Christmas Carol” where the Ghost of Christmas Present reveals that he’s had those two horrific, starving children hidden under his robe the entire time he was cruising the streets with Scrooge. Obviously, I’m still full of the holiday spirit.
The seller is from Noxen, PA, which is about 20 minutes from where I grew up. Everybody in NorthEast PA knows that the people from Noxen fuck sheep for a fun time, so this probably isn’t weird for them.
Ooh, my sister had a recurring nightmare for years about Egyptian eyes floating in our dark bedroom. She didn’t know where it came from until, as a teen, she watched Sesame Street with our (much younger) brother and caught the Ernie-and-Bert-as-pharaohs episode. And promptly freaked the fuck out.
Tell her not to feel bad-that scene seriously scared the everloving shit out of my twins when they were little. It was a couple of weeks before I could get them to let me turn off the night light when they went to bed.
I used to have one of Oscar the Grouch in a painting at the end of the hallway. He would open his mouth and suck in everything in the house. I would be left clinging to the bannister of our stairway crying and begging Oscar not to eat me.
Do your best Freud.
Brain damage? I don’t know what else would allow this to be created into existence. It doesn’t even cover the whole window. And, Harry should be wearing a slip…..Thank you.
It just reminds me of the curtain that Sirius fell through that killed him, which makes me think this would either give a kid nightmares, or be the perfect parenting tool. “If you don’t behave, we’ll have to send you through the curtain too…”
He’s climbin’ in your windows, he’s snatchin’ your people up, tryin’ to rape ‘em. So y’all need to hide your kids, hide your wife, and hide your husband cause they’re rapin’ everybody out here.
And then the Death Eaters disemboweled Harry, and it turned out that his intestines were made of black mesh, which was pretty confusing, but they decided to hang his legless corpse up in the window as an example anyway, and pretend that they were the ones who were responsible for the mesh, too.
I don’t know if I would describe the horrific lymphedema in his arms as ‘fabulous,’ necessarily–but something about his “uh-oh..” expression makes the fabric color choice equally tragic.
Yeah… I’d think the kid would be too terrified that Harry would jump out from the window and attack him in his sleep. In the dark, all you’re gonna see is a dark figure floating in front of that window.
“Can’t sleep…Harry will eat me. Can’t sleep…Harry will eat me…”
January 6, 2012 at 2:31 pm
Except it’s more like a dementor coming after you.
January 6, 2012 at 4:42 pm
Good tasteus DISSAPEARUS!
January 6, 2012 at 2:32 pm
Omg! Hahaha! How could any adult look at that and think its perfectly fine?
January 6, 2012 at 2:48 pm
Show me your wand, Harry
January 6, 2012 at 5:44 pm
For some reason, I hear that in Alan Rickmans voice. Disturbing.
January 6, 2012 at 8:04 pm
Alan Rickmans voice is never disturbing.
sexy, yes.
January 6, 2012 at 2:33 pm
Surely a Marilyn Monroe curtain is next. The only stipulation: the window must always be open to achieve the desired effect.
January 6, 2012 at 2:37 pm
You need to copyright that.
January 6, 2012 at 2:33 pm
Harry is always welcome in my Chamber of Secrets.
(Really, that was just way too easy.)
January 6, 2012 at 2:38 pm
January 6, 2012 at 3:01 pm
January 6, 2012 at 2:42 pm
Well the seller does state that it comes with “easy mounting instructions”
January 6, 2012 at 3:06 pm
…and a vibrating broomstick?
January 6, 2012 at 6:30 pm
I have one of those. I bought it the moment I saw it on Amazon. I’ve had it for years. It was a big hit at last year’s Halloween party.
January 6, 2012 at 6:17 pm
All of her characters come with easy mounting instructions, including a lovely female pirate who seems to have had engorgio cast on her chest.
January 7, 2012 at 2:36 am
You’re nobody in the pirate world unless you have a really big chest.
January 7, 2012 at 2:45 am
And a lot of booty.
January 6, 2012 at 2:46 pm
Hmm, I think I’d rather let Draco “slytherin”.
January 6, 2012 at 3:09 pm
Apparently, he already has.
January 6, 2012 at 3:12 pm
That’s actually quite hot!
January 6, 2012 at 3:57 pm
Tom Felton’s brother had that is his phone’s wallpaper, apparently xD
January 6, 2012 at 4:48 pm
That’s a *little* disturbing.
January 6, 2012 at 4:07 pm
Goddamn, that IS hot.
I suppose Drarry slashers do have kind of a good idea after all.
January 6, 2012 at 3:01 pm
How much is that hoggy in the window?
The one who is hung like a whale?
How much is that hoggy in the window?
Doe sit matter if I’m male or female?
January 7, 2012 at 2:22 am
Tell the truth now. Is it really still a secret?
January 9, 2012 at 9:59 am
Well…more so than Victoria’s.
January 6, 2012 at 2:33 pm
Sometimes people get so excited about how clever their ideas are that they don’t really think about them from three paces away. This makes me think of the McDonalds billboard from a few years ago, “Double Cheeseburger? I’d hit it!” Popular != clever.
January 6, 2012 at 2:34 pm
Hey kids, Hagrid’s not the only giant on campus, if you know what I mean.
January 6, 2012 at 2:35 pm
not gonna lie, I would put that in my classroom in a heartbeat.
January 6, 2012 at 2:35 pm
A whole new world alright….(winkwinknudgenudge)
http://www.etsy.com/listing/81416777/character-curtainsjasmine-a-whole-new
January 6, 2012 at 2:36 pm
Someone needs to make a goatse curtain…
January 6, 2012 at 2:38 pm
Maybe a goatse doorway?
January 6, 2012 at 2:39 pm
Ooooh, how interactive.
January 6, 2012 at 2:40 pm
A goatse entrance to a slide?
January 6, 2012 at 2:43 pm
Exit from a slide perhaps?
January 6, 2012 at 3:08 pm
It’s the Regretsy playground!
January 6, 2012 at 4:12 pm
Been done, I’m afraid.
Apparently part of a museum exhibit on parasites…
January 6, 2012 at 2:41 pm
A whole nude world???
January 6, 2012 at 2:49 pm
And she has “easy mounting instructions”. Can you use your own rod?
January 6, 2012 at 2:36 pm
But the nightmares come for free.
January 6, 2012 at 2:36 pm
All this needs to be perfect is for his mouth to be frozen in that sex doll “O”.
January 7, 2012 at 2:45 am
http://www.etsy.com/listing/84499164/princess-saphire-of-the-fairies
Howzat?
January 6, 2012 at 2:39 pm
I don’t care how much you love Harry, in the middle of the night this is going to make you think Voldemort is hiding in you closet!
January 6, 2012 at 2:39 pm
I use curtains to block light or establish privacy. I guess I’m old-fashioned.
January 6, 2012 at 2:40 pm
Hogwarts come after the swine flu don’t they? Isn’t that why there are beastiality laws?
January 6, 2012 at 2:41 pm
This would scare the crap out of every child I’ve ever known:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/76216216/star-wars-darth-vader-storybook-childs
January 6, 2012 at 2:47 pm
Wow that’s seriously creepy…
January 6, 2012 at 2:47 pm
However….it would be a very effective form of punishment.
“Clean this room up right now…or so help me I’m going to put Darth Vader in your window again!”
January 6, 2012 at 3:34 pm
Regretsy’s next book progect: FJL Parenting for FJLs. I’d like to guest write a short chapter on the use of handcrafted wooden spoons as child torture weapons. You can do yours on this.
January 6, 2012 at 7:17 pm
Hmmmm Etsy as a form of punishment. I’m in.
January 6, 2012 at 2:50 pm
I have to disagree. My kids, who are 3 and 5, would love to have this in their room. They are obsessed with Star Wars. The original movies of course.
January 6, 2012 at 4:06 pm
That is AWESOME. What better way to deter intruders than having Vader ready to lop off their heads with his lightsaber when they enter through the window?
And then he’d be all “I find your lack of brains… disturbing.”
January 6, 2012 at 9:46 pm
Is that a window treatment, or a depiction of a bad reaction to psychiatric medication?!
(Guess which one I’ve experienced personally.)
January 6, 2012 at 2:42 pm
I’m having a horrible brain-crossover from when I saw Equus a few years ago. It has provided me with the mental image of the “Shit!” Horse peering in under curtain-Potter’s crotch.
January 6, 2012 at 3:02 pm
I didn’t see the play, but I’ve seen the poster (mildly NSFW): http://media.theiapolis.com/d8/h35S/i4P/qW/s7/t4/u4/wLO/y04/daniel-radcliffe-equus.jpg
January 6, 2012 at 3:06 pm
In fact, I think perhaps I first saw that image on Regretsy.
Regretsy: for all your Harry Potter-themed erotic needs.
January 6, 2012 at 4:03 pm
Well, all your Potterotica needs unless you want to venture into the swamp of FF.net D:
January 6, 2012 at 3:16 pm
I’ve seen the b/w full frontal version of that. Uncut, and he gives the horse a run for its money.
January 6, 2012 at 3:23 pm
Oh, yeah. I did not look hard enough. This one is definitely NSFW: http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_loupdcj3ZS1qd7ui5o1_500.jpg
January 6, 2012 at 3:36 pm
He’s of age now, right? I mean, it’s ok if I just stare at this for a while.
January 6, 2012 at 3:39 pm
ENGORGIO!!
Damn. Didn’t work. Sigh.
January 6, 2012 at 5:05 pm
Nice wand.
January 6, 2012 at 5:01 pm
Yep, he’s of age. Unfortunately of my baby sister’s age so I still feel a lil bit creepo ogling him….
….
Not enough to stop of course.
January 6, 2012 at 2:42 pm
Darth Vader’s light saber glows!
http://www.etsy.com/listing/76216216/star-wars-darth-vader-storybook-childs
January 6, 2012 at 2:44 pm
I’m going to go against the flock here (hee hee get it?) and say I think they are kind of charming for a child’s room. I imagine whoever actually owns the original images is going to be pissed, however.
January 7, 2012 at 1:57 pm
If it was in any way practical as a curtain, it would be charming.
January 6, 2012 at 2:45 pm
I want to get this and put a dildo under it.
But to be fair, the painting is pretty well done, he’s just missing his scar.
January 6, 2012 at 3:37 pm
I wonder if the scar is what sets off the alarm attached to Ms Rowling’s lawyers collars.
January 6, 2012 at 2:46 pm
mysteries and bedroom two words that should never bee together in the same sentence much less the same room
January 6, 2012 at 3:38 pm
Oh, there is just SO much you don’t understand. Poor thing…
January 6, 2012 at 2:46 pm
I’m pretty sure the insignia he’s got on his robe too is for house Hufflepuff (actually I don’t think it is now)… but it does look like some weird creepy hybrid badger-lion.
January 6, 2012 at 2:47 pm
Harry Potter-like? If you’re trying to avoid copyright infringement, this is subtle. Like a t-rex.
January 6, 2012 at 2:48 pm
I keep thinking it looks like Daria, who REALLY doesn’t want you looking under her robe.
January 6, 2012 at 2:48 pm
I’m sure all of her stuff is fully licensed, too.
January 6, 2012 at 2:53 pm
Actually, this made me think of the scene in “A Christmas Carol” where the Ghost of Christmas Present reveals that he’s had those two horrific, starving children hidden under his robe the entire time he was cruising the streets with Scrooge. Obviously, I’m still full of the holiday spirit.
January 6, 2012 at 3:00 pm
Whiskey will clear that right out of your system..
January 6, 2012 at 3:15 pm
Whiskey is only ONE of the holiday spirits in my system, friend.
January 6, 2012 at 4:35 pm
He’s done that one too…
http://www.etsy.com/listing/63391832/the-misers-are-at-it-again
January 6, 2012 at 4:53 pm
BRISTLY.
PENIS.
January 6, 2012 at 2:55 pm
The seller is from Noxen, PA, which is about 20 minutes from where I grew up. Everybody in NorthEast PA knows that the people from Noxen fuck sheep for a fun time, so this probably isn’t weird for them.
January 6, 2012 at 2:59 pm
I think the head should be lower… say peeping-tom height. And then have cut-outs for the eyes.
I also think a big vagoo bedroom doorway needs to be constructed so the child can be “reborn again” every morning!
January 6, 2012 at 3:00 pm
January 6, 2012 at 3:18 pm
Are you shitting me?
January 6, 2012 at 3:03 pm
Switch out Harry for The Count from Sesame Street & you have my most haunting childhood nightmare. I don’t want to talk about it.
January 6, 2012 at 3:25 pm
Ooh, my sister had a recurring nightmare for years about Egyptian eyes floating in our dark bedroom. She didn’t know where it came from until, as a teen, she watched Sesame Street with our (much younger) brother and caught the Ernie-and-Bert-as-pharaohs episode. And promptly freaked the fuck out.
January 6, 2012 at 3:40 pm
Sesame Street: Subconsciously ruining childhood since 1969.
January 6, 2012 at 6:57 pm
Tell her not to feel bad-that scene seriously scared the everloving shit out of my twins when they were little. It was a couple of weeks before I could get them to let me turn off the night light when they went to bed.
January 6, 2012 at 7:20 pm
I used to have one of Oscar the Grouch in a painting at the end of the hallway. He would open his mouth and suck in everything in the house. I would be left clinging to the bannister of our stairway crying and begging Oscar not to eat me.
Do your best Freud.
January 6, 2012 at 3:06 pm
January 6, 2012 at 5:36 pm
Can you change that to the Chris Hanson gif poking through the curtain?
January 6, 2012 at 3:24 pm
Can I get that in a Snape version?
January 6, 2012 at 3:29 pm
Word
Three layers of gown, frock coat and trousers, and hopefully fully functional underneath, please 
January 6, 2012 at 4:05 pm
Mind reader!
January 7, 2012 at 11:49 am
I’d rather just have the real life Alan Rickman.
January 6, 2012 at 3:24 pm
Brain damage? I don’t know what else would allow this to be created into existence. It doesn’t even cover the whole window. And, Harry should be wearing a slip…..Thank you.
January 6, 2012 at 3:29 pm
My daughter would *totally* love this, and possibly for all the wrong reasons, which is why I would never buy it for her XD
January 6, 2012 at 3:30 pm
It just reminds me of the curtain that Sirius fell through that killed him, which makes me think this would either give a kid nightmares, or be the perfect parenting tool. “If you don’t behave, we’ll have to send you through the curtain too…”
January 6, 2012 at 3:44 pm
Ahem… the Veil.
January 6, 2012 at 7:39 pm
Rowling actually went out of her way never to use the word “veil.” Maybe that would have been seen as too overtly pagan?
January 6, 2012 at 3:30 pm
Oh good, it includes mounting instructions!
January 8, 2012 at 8:45 pm
I saw him in “Equus.” Which could be subtitled, “Mounting: You’re Doing It Wrong.”
January 6, 2012 at 3:30 pm
He’s climbin’ in your windows, he’s snatchin’ your people up, tryin’ to rape ‘em. So y’all need to hide your kids, hide your wife, and hide your husband cause they’re rapin’ everybody out here.
January 6, 2012 at 4:04 pm
Actually, I’d rather have the Weasely twins…
Now to see if a wizard’s staff really has a knob on the end.
January 6, 2012 at 6:02 pm
Many thumbs up for the Discworld reference!
January 8, 2012 at 2:19 pm
The wizard’s staff has a knob on the end but the hedgehog can’t be buggered at all so what does it matter?
January 6, 2012 at 4:18 pm
And then the Death Eaters disemboweled Harry, and it turned out that his intestines were made of black mesh, which was pretty confusing, but they decided to hang his legless corpse up in the window as an example anyway, and pretend that they were the ones who were responsible for the mesh, too.
January 6, 2012 at 4:27 pm
This Captain Jack Sparrow is FABULOUS!
http://www.etsy.com/listing/76216446/boys-curtain-display
January 6, 2012 at 4:49 pm
he looks like Big Gay Al!
January 6, 2012 at 8:03 pm
I don’t know if I would describe the horrific lymphedema in his arms as ‘fabulous,’ necessarily–but something about his “uh-oh..” expression makes the fabric color choice equally tragic.
January 6, 2012 at 9:57 pm
His dreads look like turds.
January 8, 2012 at 8:49 pm
I don’t know which line to use:
1) He must be straight, otherwise he’d know to put mascara on his lower lashes too.
2) The description says it comes with “Pirate Top.” Is there a Naive Cabin Boy curtain that goes with it?
3) The way he’s holding the curtain makes it look like he’s doing a curtsy in a ball gown.
January 6, 2012 at 4:30 pm
That’s not even the scariest thing in the shop.
The Tinkerbell ornament looks ready to murder you in your sleep.
January 6, 2012 at 5:05 pm
I genuinely want this so badly I am prepared to make my own. I have a cardboard cut out of Ron Weasley… I can tape Harry over his face, right??
January 8, 2012 at 8:49 pm
Would that be slashing the curtain?
January 6, 2012 at 5:14 pm
There’s a “carpet matches the drapes” joke in here somewhere….
January 6, 2012 at 6:18 pm
“I always feel like somebody’s watching me”
January 6, 2012 at 6:29 pm
Well, I’m gonna be a rebel and say that I think they’re neat! Or they would be neat if they were above the window and functional.
Also if I weren’t a goddamn grown woman.
January 6, 2012 at 9:34 pm
I wonder if I could maybe request them to make a Power Rangers one.
January 6, 2012 at 11:28 pm
Yeah… I’d think the kid would be too terrified that Harry would jump out from the window and attack him in his sleep. In the dark, all you’re gonna see is a dark figure floating in front of that window.
“Can’t sleep…Harry will eat me. Can’t sleep…Harry will eat me…”
January 7, 2012 at 9:57 am
Can we say copyright infringement and really bad artist?
January 7, 2012 at 11:12 am
Yes, let’s train children to peek under a wizard’s robes.
“Hey children, does Harry go commando?”
Snivellus wears dirty underpants. Wonder if Harry does too?
January 8, 2012 at 5:54 am
Aww, look! The seller also has drag queen window characters:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/87786182/christmas-angel-storybook-character
I just can’t decide if it’s supposed to be Sonique or Morgan McMichaels…
January 8, 2012 at 8:56 pm
I’m voting for Morgan McMichaels, but in making my decision I found the other Raven, who is particularly flaming in this video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JqIdGjEIGhY
January 12, 2012 at 11:01 am
Cue nightmare in 5…4…3…
January 25, 2012 at 9:19 pm
You can’t beat Hogwarts, well, you can but you gotta be able to find them first
April 28, 2012 at 6:10 pm
Nothing to see here folks, nothing to see.