As you know, I am gearing up to visit all my Finnish fans in a few weeks, and from what I understand, both of them will be in Helsinki when I get there.

To that end, I have begun searching Finnish fashion sites to see how the hipster Finns – or Finsters, as I like to call them under my breath – dress in public. I just want to make sure I fit in, because I’m told Finns have a practice of chasing down strangers and throwing suet on them.

Here are some pictures of Finsters on the streets of Helsinki from the appropriately named Hel-Looks. These are actual Finns, just walking around in everyday clothes, on their way to get drunk. It’s hard to say who their fashion icons are, but they appear to be heavily influenced by Poison and Cirque de Soleil.

Perkele!

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I thought “thorough” meant dotting your I’s and crossing your T’s. Or at least including them.

IF YOU LIKE CHRISTMAS SO MUCH WHY DON’T YOU MARRY IT HURR DURR

Buona Sera: An Italian greeting meaning “Good afternoon” or “Good evening”

Bona Cera: Michael Cera’s Sicilian cousin

Cheer on the New York Jets in a Philadelphia Eagles T-shirt, and get your stupid ass beat in the Meadowlands!

Matt Damon is a girl’s best friend!

YOU COULD SAVE $46 BY NOT BUYING THIS HIDEOUS iPHONE CASE

The divine in me
Recognizes the idiot in you

NEMASTE, BATCHES

I don’t know.

I mean, I like it and everything, but aside from the Law & Order wrap party, I can’t think of too many red carpet events where you want to look like someone stuffed you in a Hefty bag and set you on fire.

Now, if the back looked like you were covered in leeches, it would be a different story.

I’LL GET MY PURSE