168 comments on Yet Even More Things That Look Like Penises
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.
You must be logged in to post a comment.
November 7, 2011 at 11:49 am
That’s a rinky dink alright.
November 7, 2011 at 11:51 am
Definitely dinky.
November 7, 2011 at 11:56 am
It’s cold =(
November 7, 2011 at 12:19 pm
Oh, please, it’s photographed on a lovely, warm day.
November 7, 2011 at 11:52 am
Gah you beat me by seconds, SECONDS. Did you enjoy beating my rinky dink?
November 7, 2011 at 12:27 pm
I enjoy it when you beat your dinky dink.
November 7, 2011 at 2:28 pm
If we all keep our subesophageal ganglion to ourselves this kind of thing wouldn’t happen.
November 7, 2011 at 2:59 pm
Yay Finding Nemo and Regretsy together!
November 7, 2011 at 3:40 pm
The questions are “did YOU enjoy it?” and “the money’s on the dresser, right?”
November 7, 2011 at 12:20 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
November 7, 2011 at 12:42 pm
Shhhh…Don’t say bad things about our future imperial rulers.
November 7, 2011 at 12:31 pm
I’m particularly tickled that it’s name is a “copyrighted trademark.” Which is like saying “Vaginal dick,” or something like that.
November 7, 2011 at 3:14 pm
I WAS IN THE POOL! I WAS IN THE POOL!!
November 8, 2011 at 9:31 am
A rinky dink butt plug.
November 7, 2011 at 11:49 am
That rubber band car looks JUST like Ace and Gary’s car from the Ambiguously Gay Duo!
That kind of makes me want it.
November 7, 2011 at 12:34 pm
my thoughts exactly! I just wonder: does it get longer too?
November 7, 2011 at 1:48 pm
Only when it’s handled just right. Oh, hell, who am I kidding? Anytime it’s handled.
February 16, 2012 at 3:23 pm
My daughter and I said that too!
November 7, 2011 at 11:49 am
Rinky dink indeed.
November 7, 2011 at 11:49 am
After seeing the red velvet whoopie pies and things that look like penises, I am now horny and hungry. Thanks, Regretsy!
November 7, 2011 at 11:55 am
Just reading “Whoopie Pie” does the trick for me!!
Really, who names a treat after sex? Sex is awesome, but I don’t want to eat something that might taste like a bi-product of it!!!
November 7, 2011 at 11:56 am
Have you not seen the Natural Harvest cook book? There’s a market out there for people who want to taste the bi-product(s) of sex lol. But I agree, very poor choice of name!
November 7, 2011 at 3:43 pm
Tell that to Whoopie Goldberg.
November 7, 2011 at 11:51 am
Your little monster may walk with a wobble
but they can still enjoy some gobble, gobble!
I was going to make a sexual innuendo about this but I see the seller has already done this for me.
November 7, 2011 at 11:58 am
Yeah…the toy itself doesn’t look that phallic to me (I just see a cartoon turkey drumstick…I think it’s kind of adorable, actually) but my dirty mind can’t help going weird places with that slogan.
November 7, 2011 at 1:54 pm
Originally, I thought that was an HK add on, but then I realized it was actually part of the listing.
November 7, 2011 at 3:49 pm
Couldn’t help but think that if this were a commemorative penis (http://www.regretsy.com/2011/07/03/weekend-flashback-dads-and-nads/ ) of the child, it is no wonder that he wobbles.
November 7, 2011 at 11:52 am
I keep looking at the crochetted penis at the start and wincing at the thought of a baby chewing on wool and getting that squeaking feeling of oh god.. I can’t continue that thought without crying a little.
November 7, 2011 at 12:14 pm
Because the seller doesn’t specify the yarn, I’m guessing it’s cheap-and-easily-ignited acrylic, which is not something I’d want a child chewing on.
November 7, 2011 at 1:11 pm
Well don’t give the kid matches.
November 7, 2011 at 1:23 pm
Nice idea, but knowing that kind of yarn, walking too quickly (about a snail’s pace) across carpeting could cause a spark.
November 8, 2011 at 2:37 pm
Especially if the kid’s top teeth were made of sulfur and his bottom teeth were made of sandpaper! And also if he had acetone saliva.
November 7, 2011 at 12:14 pm
Thanks. Now I’m twitching.
November 7, 2011 at 5:56 pm
that was my thought too–yes, I make dog crochet dog toys,* but I only use cotton yarn, and even the thought of chewing on that makes my hairs stand on end. If that was a rubber or plastic–oh, never mind, I can’t continue with this train of thought.
*not a plug for my shop. Honest.
November 7, 2011 at 11:03 pm
Makes my teeth hurt just thinking about gums running across cheap yarn… GAH
November 7, 2011 at 11:54 am
Also.. as a genuine geek.. what the fuck has a turkey drumstick got to do with geekery? Very rarely am I found sat around a gaming table, rolling dice to see of my mother fucking turkey is done, or if I need to smack it with a bastard sword again
November 7, 2011 at 11:57 am
Perhaps they’re referring to the origins of the term “geek” in which it meant circus performers biting off the heads of live chickens (or, I guess, in this case turkeys)?
November 7, 2011 at 11:58 am
a crocheted turkey leg is not really something you would pay to see someone eating.. oh god.. teeth on wool image again.. you fucker
November 7, 2011 at 12:02 pm
You’d THINK that wouldn’t be a thing, but I bet somewhere out there is a “feeder” with a yarn fetish.
November 7, 2011 at 12:23 pm
I am constantly clicking on the “geekery” subcategories, and constantly disappointed in what people consider geekery.
November 8, 2011 at 3:57 pm
You’d have to be a tough motherfucker. Live turkeys are MEAN.
November 7, 2011 at 12:52 pm
Maybe it’s so your baby can look like a Ren Faire king.
November 7, 2011 at 1:28 pm
…grumble, grumble…
Distract your kid with enemy bait!
See? It’s kinda geeky.
November 7, 2011 at 3:58 pm
In my family we could have sung physics carols while the turkey cooked; would that geek it up enough? (Not bragging, just accepting my genetic geek destiny).
November 7, 2011 at 11:13 pm
Possibly another case of confusing “geek” with “nerd”?
.
.
.
Yeah, you’re right. Makes no sense at all.
November 15, 2011 at 11:09 pm
I will tag it with “regretsy penis” if it means more sales… I have no conscience.
But I was thinking meat = geekery nowadays.
November 7, 2011 at 11:55 am
Tantusdirect.com has butt plugs shaped exactly like that incense holder.
Um. Or SO I HEAR.
*Cough.*
November 7, 2011 at 11:56 am
My thought exactly!
Not that I know what butt plugs look like…
*double cough*
November 7, 2011 at 1:48 pm
Regretsy comments are ever so informative.
November 7, 2011 at 3:59 pm
Best PSAs ever!
November 7, 2011 at 5:54 pm
You can use it multipurpose!
November 8, 2011 at 3:09 am
Gives a whole new meaning to the word “upcycling”.
November 7, 2011 at 11:55 am
Huh, my first thought was, “Yes, that’s great, these things do indeed look like pensises, now why in the world should I associate turkey legs and thus meat with geekery? Was there some memo I missed?”
Then I realized perhaps I have spent too much time on the internet.
November 7, 2011 at 11:55 am
I’m going to call my bf’s dick “banana bob” next time. That’s just hilarious!
November 7, 2011 at 12:23 pm
Gobble gobble!
November 7, 2011 at 11:55 am
The perfume bottle looks like a penis growing out of a vagina.
November 8, 2011 at 3:59 pm
Hooray for our friends the hermaphrodites!
November 7, 2011 at 11:56 am
The worst part is that some of these things are actually quite lovely, but now they’ve been tainted with cock.
November 7, 2011 at 12:00 pm
YOU SAID TAINT
November 7, 2011 at 12:12 pm
You forget the “hehe, hehe, hehe” both fore and aft.
November 7, 2011 at 12:16 pm
When you go both fore and aft, “hehe hehe hehe” might not be all the sounds one will make.
November 7, 2011 at 12:38 pm
Just remember to go fore first, *then* aft.
Allegedly.
November 7, 2011 at 1:13 pm
Gigglefits from this exchange! Damn you, you’re raising my heart rate.
November 7, 2011 at 1:25 pm
@Littlenic: Yes…except if
you aresomeone is doing both simultaneously. Multitasking taken to whole new, OH MY GOD, YES!!!!, level.November 7, 2011 at 1:49 pm
@Mugsy Doodle: Some comments here make me feel dirty… and that’s quite an accomplishment.
November 7, 2011 at 4:06 pm
Mugsy Doodle PLEASE! You’ll be giving us triangles a bad reputation.
November 7, 2011 at 7:55 pm
Totally busted. And feeling dumb as hell for not catching that one (my husband and I make the cocktail rim sugars).
Maybe we should use the “cock” and “tail” word split in all of our rim sugar listings?
Nah. Off to edit. *grin*
November 7, 2011 at 11:17 pm
I favorited your shop and my blood glucose shot up 200 pts.
November 8, 2011 at 8:09 pm
That’s bad, right?
Here…have another drink…
November 8, 2011 at 4:00 pm
RIMMING sugars, no less.
They come in purple, too.
November 8, 2011 at 8:12 pm
Yeah. See, there’s no way around the rimming puns. So we just try to embrace ‘em. We’re really anal about getting our humor spot on, dontcha know.
November 7, 2011 at 11:57 am
I can make it worse for you all.
Having worked as a nurse for many years, my first thought on seeing the posey holder was ‘why have they got a female urine bottle for sale on etsy’
November 7, 2011 at 12:05 pm
My first thought on a posey holder was WTF is a posey holder.
Also the treasury seems sinister to me. But then again, I don’t want him to be coming. I want Santa to stay far, far away.
(Santa is a terrifying mass murderer. Tru fax.)
November 7, 2011 at 12:08 pm
Also, I found it more expensive.
http://www.trocadero.com/glitzqueen/items/153079/item153079store.html
To my untrained eye, this looks the same. It WAS $75, it is now $50. So this etsy markdown from $10 to $7.50 is a STEAL.
Also it told me what the dang thing does: “Any day is brighter when you wear a flower, and it will stay fresh and fragrant all day.”
So it’s a vase, for your shirt.
November 7, 2011 at 12:17 pm
Yes, it’s a vase for your shirt. Once considered quite the fashion accessory, so you could wear fresh flowers every day. And carry a little bit of water around. Just in case of a teeny tiny fire.
November 7, 2011 at 1:15 pm
And not move very much.
November 7, 2011 at 2:27 pm
So in case someone next to you lit up a cigarette?
November 7, 2011 at 12:20 pm
GIVE ME A BREAK! Victorian?? These were dime-store items until at least the 1960′s. I have a silver one and one of the plastic ones. And yes, I have worn it on occasion.
November 7, 2011 at 1:27 pm
I don’t know, Plastic just SCREAMS Victorian era to me, but I’ll trust you on this one
November 7, 2011 at 2:26 pm
Well, they did say that this one was “early plastic” which dates from the mid 1900s. (That makes it sound so much older and classier than ‘piece of plastic junk from 1960.’)
(I’m also quite disappointed that there wasn’t a “We are NOT amused” in your comment.)
November 7, 2011 at 6:17 pm
We were to incensed to be unamused.
November 7, 2011 at 4:05 pm
Dayum! Bronc can file that one away for compare & save! You can use that penis multipurpose!
November 7, 2011 at 1:36 pm
Lol, my first thought was, “shit, bitch could have at least CLEANED it before offering it up for sale”.
November 7, 2011 at 12:00 pm
i thought posie was code for the plague. it does look like a creepy death device from the 1800s…
November 7, 2011 at 12:27 pm
the “pocket full of posies” line of that you are thinking of from the popular plague rhyme refers to the flowers/herbs people kept in their pockets in an attempt to keep the plague away – I don’t think it worked well, although some herbs do keep away the fleas, so maybe it worked a little
November 7, 2011 at 5:58 pm
The more you know.
November 7, 2011 at 7:37 pm
Hm, not to be a pedant, but I thought that the Black Death theory turned out to be false?
http://www.snopes.com/language/literary/rosie.asp
November 7, 2011 at 12:01 pm
What the hell is a “vintage posey”?
November 7, 2011 at 12:03 pm
My nickname for my vagina.
November 7, 2011 at 12:04 pm
Maybe they meant “vintage pussy”?
November 7, 2011 at 11:18 pm
Hey.
November 7, 2011 at 1:11 pm
Ooh ooh, Mr. Kottah! (showing my age) I know this one!
I’m impressed it’s actually a vintage item. My great-aunt used to wear those. It’s like if you took a vase with water with flowers in it, and pinned it to yourself, except tiny through Wonkavision.
November 7, 2011 at 3:53 pm
Mmmm, plastic lapel penises are my favorite kind of penises.
November 7, 2011 at 5:48 pm
Well then, you’ve been hanging out with the wrong penises!
November 7, 2011 at 12:03 pm
Meat geekery – the best kind of geekery.
Bacon, though. It would need to be BACON.
November 7, 2011 at 12:37 pm
OMG you just gave me an image of a crocheted bacon baby toy, except it oinks when you squeeze it!
November 7, 2011 at 1:03 pm
SOMEONE NEEDS TO MAKE THIS NOW.
November 7, 2011 at 3:33 pm
It doesn’t squeak, but the hilarious backstory makes up for that.
November 8, 2011 at 4:32 pm
Mmmm . . . angry deliciousness . . .
November 7, 2011 at 6:20 pm
There’s also this: http://www.thinkgeek.com/geektoys/plush/e1d0/
It’s a poseable talking bacon plushie. I got one for my bacon-obsessed friend last christmas, and the thing is an endless source of amusement.
November 7, 2011 at 12:04 pm
Anyone that thinks that the crocheted turkey leg looks like a penis has my sincerest sympathy.
November 7, 2011 at 12:18 pm
Well, it IS 6 inches long, so there’s that at least. Uh, yeah, that’s about it.
November 7, 2011 at 12:20 pm
But it clearly has balls…
November 7, 2011 at 12:26 pm
Anyone that has a penis that looks like a crocheted turkey leg has my sincerest sympathy.
November 8, 2011 at 4:04 pm
A penis with a big clubbed end and smallish balls?
Speaking as a woman, I don’t see the downside for me.
November 7, 2011 at 1:04 pm
Maybe it’s post-vasectomy. Those fuckers can really swell up.
November 7, 2011 at 12:09 pm
I wonder if the soap bar comes in a “Sexual Tension” scent?
November 7, 2011 at 12:15 pm
Or perhaps ‘Unwashed Twat’?
November 7, 2011 at 12:16 pm
You mean Jack Daniels and Ice Cream?
November 7, 2011 at 12:16 pm
You know how sometimes you’ll see sometimes, and your head tilts to the side in frank puzzlement?
I did that with this post. Twice. The perfume bottle and the dinky dick.
November 7, 2011 at 12:36 pm
All the better to see how it’s hangin’.
November 7, 2011 at 3:37 pm
I call it the RCA Dog Look.
November 7, 2011 at 7:09 pm
Does the fact that the dog’s name is Nipper make it better or worse?
November 7, 2011 at 12:17 pm
I want the rubber band car. I could amuse myself for hours with that.
WHAT?
November 7, 2011 at 12:18 pm
Cause of Death: Bludgeoned by Turkey Leg shaped Penis.
November 7, 2011 at 12:19 pm
“To the Penis Mobile!”
I would totally buy that for my kids if I had them.
November 7, 2011 at 12:23 pm
Call me naive but I don’t get why the “Sweetheart Pins” under the “Smile he is coming” part is highlighted.
Also, the Posey Holder Pin looks like someone found some indeterminate piece of plastic, got high, and thought of what it could be to sell on Etsy. Actually, I think that’s how a lot of things on Etsy are sold.
November 7, 2011 at 12:34 pm
Well you see, there’s this difference between males and females. Girls have vulvas and vaginas, and boys have … ah, never mind.
November 7, 2011 at 1:06 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
November 7, 2011 at 1:19 pm
It’s because they look like penises (the balls are red).
November 7, 2011 at 5:23 pm
Ok NOW I understand.
Time to hit the alcohol until I start seeing dicks in everything like I evidently should be.
November 8, 2011 at 4:06 pm
We’ll wait right here for you.
Oh, but in some things you should see vulvas, just FYI.
November 7, 2011 at 12:30 pm
Okay this aint etsy but it is penis real penis at that! I was looking through Amazon France (i live in france) for a pug dog calendar and found this –
http://cgi.ebay.fr/WOUAW-CALENDRIER-MEN-REAL-COCKS-2012-KALENDER-CALENDAR-SEXY-XL-30-cm-x-42-cm-/390346681637?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_23&hash=item5ae279ad25
It was just right in there with the winnie the poo calendars and cute animals. I love that the calendar is classed as XL in size:D
November 7, 2011 at 12:33 pm
This is worthless without actual pics.
November 7, 2011 at 12:35 pm
Although I do love your name, “Small furry monkey toes” is my new nickname of the week for my daughter!
November 7, 2011 at 1:29 pm
Please don’t call her that when you’re picking her up from cheerleader practice. Teenagers can be SO cruel. They’ll never let her live it down.
November 7, 2011 at 12:36 pm
True but I guess even France has some shame! I used to live in Scotland and you defo couldn’t get this in your local calendar shop. I’m just easy pleased.
November 7, 2011 at 12:33 pm
Such subliminal crafting. Penis envy?
November 7, 2011 at 12:37 pm
We know what’s getting washed with THAT bar of soap.
November 7, 2011 at 4:21 pm
Hail to the V.
November 7, 2011 at 12:41 pm
I had a rubber band car just like that when I was a kid. I guess that explains a few things…
November 7, 2011 at 12:42 pm
I just pulled out the kids’ pre-school shapes book. Then I referenced the pre-teen’s geometry book. I can’t find a shape that’s referred to as “rinky dink” anywhere.
Best I could find was a definition that says “rinky dink” is a slang word meaning Small, of little worth, something that has had little time, money and energy invested into it.
Somehow, now that I type it all out, it makes perfect sense.
November 7, 2011 at 7:12 pm
Hence the clever name for tfe children’s craft that you would put in the oven with far too little adult supervision.
November 7, 2011 at 12:53 pm
Rinky Dink isn’t a shape that I can find anywhere. I did, however, find this definition:
Small, of little worth, something that has had little time, money and energy invested into it.
So, yeah, it’s accurate.
November 7, 2011 at 3:50 pm
Thanks internet, for making me repost things. I’m going back to carrier pigeon for all my long distance communications
November 7, 2011 at 1:00 pm
I went to check out the seller of the crocheted drumstick’s store because I thought it was cute. After clicking through, I saw that she has another store for crocheted cat toys, and the very first toy is actually a penis cat toy:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/79444507/cat-toy-penis-weird-funny-cat-toys
So maybe it’s not so subliminal after all.
November 7, 2011 at 1:01 pm
OK, this is even better: Bag O’ Dicks: http://www.etsy.com/listing/79962203/cat-toy-catnip-cat-toys-pet-penis-mature
November 7, 2011 at 1:09 pm
I think the picture deserves a showing:
November 7, 2011 at 1:17 pm
O.O wow, that could lead to quite the er visit
November 7, 2011 at 1:30 pm
That cat doesn’t look like it enjoys its toy.
November 7, 2011 at 1:33 pm
It enjoyed it much more when it was still attached.
November 7, 2011 at 1:35 pm
cat teeth can’t be comfortable.
November 7, 2011 at 1:56 pm
Even the description is great!
“It’s ridickulous.
If you have a different color wang in mind let me know!”
November 7, 2011 at 3:17 pm
The owner needs to have their other hand on the back of the cat’s head. Then this photo would be PERFECT.
November 7, 2011 at 1:57 pm
Wrong pussy. DO NOT WANT!
November 7, 2011 at 2:29 pm
Check this one out:
CAT TOY TAMPON
November 7, 2011 at 2:31 pm
And sushi! How cool is this?
November 7, 2011 at 2:38 pm
Oh, that cat is ashamed!
November 7, 2011 at 3:49 pm
My friend’s cat was staying with me once and somehow got hold of an (unused) tampon and was batting it all around. It was her favourite toy for a while. I called it “The Cotton Mouse” because of its “tail.”
November 7, 2011 at 4:27 pm
She’s also got a selection of pet toy penises, a nipply boob, and a fetus.
Then there are the these toys: poop with corn in it, the tampon and sperm. All she needs to add is a used condom, used tissues with snot, and cat poop from the litter box and your dog can have a crocheted collection of everything they find and drag around the house anyway!
November 7, 2011 at 1:03 pm
The colour plus shape of the bottom of the soap makes me think we’re getting a bonus vagina with our penis.
November 7, 2011 at 1:57 pm
I’ve, uh, heard there are videos featuring just such a bonus on the internet.
November 7, 2011 at 7:14 pm
Usually the bonus is expecting one and discovering the other.
There really is no good hermaphrodite porn on the Internet.
November 7, 2011 at 1:35 pm
I’m a childless-by-choice fat jealous loser…but you know what I bet is REALLY fun?
Picking brown lint out of your tit-sucker’s mouth all day while dealing with your shitty family around a dead bird (which no one cries for).
November 7, 2011 at 1:39 pm
I knew you’d like the “posie holder”. I’m glad it wasn’t just me. After I posted it on your facebook wall I showed it to my boyfriend and he didn’t think it was all that bad. HUH?? It doesn’t look like anything other than a glass dildo.
November 7, 2011 at 6:21 pm
I ended buying a few nice things from the posey peen seller (the one on Etsy, not the one who was trying to pretend it was “Victorian era plastic”). She had a silver dog pin that looks just like my sister’s dog, who has cancer, so I wanted that as a gift for my sister. By the time I was done, I’d also picked up a pig, a cat, a ring, and a very shiny buckle.
She seems nice, and appreciates the additional traffic from Regretsy.
November 8, 2011 at 9:42 am
Awesome! Yes, I looked at her other items too and she had some great stuff. This was definitely an isolated hilarious item. I was hoping she would get some benefit out of the linkage, so it’s good to know she did!
November 7, 2011 at 2:00 pm
The turkey leg actually does look like a turkey leg to me, all power of suggestion aside.
The posey holder looks like some sort of medical device, or maybe a very wrong shoehorn. In any case, weird…
November 7, 2011 at 2:57 pm
the incense holder looks more like a butt plug. but that just me.
November 7, 2011 at 4:28 pm
My first thought also.
November 7, 2011 at 3:03 pm
“Smile He Is Coming!” sure does need some additional punctuation. That’s two sentences, folks. Unless you’re anticipating the arrival of Smile He.
November 7, 2011 at 6:08 pm
Grammar humour always makes me happy. I wish I could thumbs-up this several more times!
Tangent: is your name inspired by a Tom Robbins book by any chance?
November 7, 2011 at 3:15 pm
Well, this did save me some searching. I have a lot of baby showers to attend the next few months and I’m pretty sure I’m going to have to give the toy in the first pic to everyone I know. Along with a camera to record the precious/fucked up moments.
November 7, 2011 at 3:25 pm
i like the one thats ten inches.
then again, i would.
November 7, 2011 at 4:04 pm
Just what classic perfume does that soap resemble? Eau de Balsac, Scrotum #5, or an inexpensive Johnson & Johnson imposter scent?
November 7, 2011 at 4:35 pm
Good to see that a turkey leg clearly labeled BABY BOY TOY can also be for a baby girl.
November 7, 2011 at 5:57 pm
6 inches of ‘plush meat’ hey?
Awww yeah…
November 7, 2011 at 7:28 pm
I just love how they call them “Banana Bob”. Nice little double entendre, there.