I’ll Have To Take Your Word For It
This post first appeared on Regretsy on May 4, 2010
“When life gives you lenticular astigmatism, try to find the lemonade.”
63 comments on I’ll Have To Take Your Word For It
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November 5, 2011 at 9:31 am
If the picture were clearer, you’d see that it reads, “Which one is better, A or B? A or B?”
November 5, 2011 at 9:33 am
Can I see A again?
November 5, 2011 at 9:39 am
“If you don’t see a difference, just pick one.” WTF is that going to tell you? That doesn’t sound very scientific!
November 5, 2011 at 12:07 pm
I thought the answer was always “C”? Oh wait, that’s only on calculus exams.
November 5, 2011 at 9:32 am
It’s a surprise! Who doesn’t love surprises?
November 5, 2011 at 10:02 am
I’m pretty sure most guys in prison don’t like being surprised in the shower.
November 5, 2011 at 10:55 am
How we got from a badly photo’d lemon bookmark to prison rape, I’ll never know.
November 5, 2011 at 10:56 am
And that, my dear, is the wonder of Regretsy.
November 5, 2011 at 11:05 am
I don’t think that’s even a lemon.
I think it’s the head of a Simpson’s character.
November 5, 2011 at 11:09 am
Holy Carp!
It’s the severed head of Abe Simpson!!!
November 7, 2011 at 10:13 am
No, it’s Stewie from Family Guy.
Stewie! My God, what happened to you?
November 5, 2011 at 11:28 am
I feel like this is going to lead me to another DaVinci Code-esque adventure of epic scale. My dear people, don’t you see that we teeter precariously on the very edge of something significant? For all we know, hidden in the blurred glyphs of that citrusy bookmark lies the key to eternity! As we idly stand about making snide remarks about the quality of the photography, what minute details might we be overlooking that speak to a larger, perhaps more eminent truth? Take note of the fabric curtain, for example: is it even a curtain at all? Perhaps what we’re seeing is an intricate textile aboard an innocuous vessel crossing the Mediterranean — part of the clever disguise that belies the true purpose of the voyage: sexual trafficking! Or maybe it’s part of a kimono belonging to a talented Geisha, secretly trained since her birth to assassinate the emperor at the utterance of a single trigger word! Why, it could even be a significantly jazzier extension of the Shroud of Turin!
November 5, 2011 at 11:35 am
I’m amazed that you fit that into 1,000 characters.
November 5, 2011 at 11:41 am
Dan Brown took waaaaay more characters to provide waaaaay less content in The DaVinci Code.
November 19, 2011 at 8:32 pm
“A five letter word for a round thing associated with Isaac Newton.”
Is this friggin’ Blue’s Clues? How could anyone who grew up with PBS (or Schoolhouse Rock) not know that one?
November 5, 2011 at 12:36 pm
You use your tongue purdier than a $20 whore.
November 5, 2011 at 1:20 pm
That’s all right tagert it’s just a man and a horse being hung out there. yes shhhh, shhh.
Mel Brooks uber alles! <3
November 5, 2011 at 9:34 am
Would it kill them to type out that motto instead of just saying that it has one?
November 5, 2011 at 10:22 am
They don’t want you stealing their awesome idea that they are charging $0.99 for!
November 5, 2011 at 11:43 am
It’s called a “teaser”. Like almost all of the free content on the Internet.
November 5, 2011 at 9:35 am
I wish I could see your point of view, but I can’t find my glasses.
November 5, 2011 at 12:30 pm
How bad is it that I can read that because I lived without my glasses for so long and this is what my world looks like? To think they let me drive!
November 5, 2011 at 12:41 pm
So, uh. What’s it say?
November 5, 2011 at 5:54 pm
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
November 5, 2011 at 9:36 am
I kept waiting for the photo to load… and ended up with a headache.
November 5, 2011 at 9:37 am
When life hands you lemons, have a lemon party!
Wait, maybe lemon party does not mean what I think it means.
November 5, 2011 at 10:02 am
Hey, I was looking for favors for my next leamon party!
November 5, 2011 at 11:10 am
depends on the age of the lemons…
you don’t want them green, but neither do you want them wrinkled, moldy and attracting fruit flies.
November 5, 2011 at 9:42 am
The sad this is… my eyesight is so bad without my specs, that I’m accustomed to reading things that blurry. The damn thing is actually legible to me.
November 5, 2011 at 10:17 am
Yeah, I’m too cheap to go get glasses, so I read things like that on a daily basis!
November 5, 2011 at 9:43 am
When life hands you lemons, grab the salt and tequila.
Everything looks like this bookmark after a few shots of tequila.
November 5, 2011 at 12:38 pm
And that’s why some of us are lined up at the clinic Saturday morning.
November 5, 2011 at 9:50 am
I read it fine, but it’s probably the vicodin helping out with that.
It does say “It’s Vicodin – it’s mine, you can’t have any. And no, I do not have a pain-management problem, I have a pain problem”
November 5, 2011 at 12:56 pm
Damn! I could have sworn it said, “When Lou gives you bromine, Kafka lemonade” but that makes way more sense.
November 5, 2011 at 9:51 am
Holy crap, I just had a panic attack and thought my lasik was failing. Nope. Just a fail on a whole other level.
November 5, 2011 at 9:52 am
This clever little political campaign is currently doing the rounds.
November 5, 2011 at 10:18 am
Hmmm…”Soured on politics?” would be better since lemons aren’t bitter.
November 7, 2011 at 10:20 am
True, but bitter lemon is a popular mixer and soft drink. So the words “bitter” and “lemon” go together very readily in the UK.
Judging by what I’ve encountered while proofreading, there’s a surprisingly widespread confusion between “bitter” and “sour” anyway.
November 5, 2011 at 12:31 pm
I foresee a flood of hospital admissions…self inflicted eye injuries…
November 5, 2011 at 1:00 pm
Oh geez, that’s up there with the vry srs anti-porn group Feminists Against Pornography (FAP)
November 5, 2011 at 2:13 pm
Really? You didn’t make that up??
November 5, 2011 at 8:32 pm
I would never kid about something so serious.
Ok, I totally would, but this shit writes itself.
November 5, 2011 at 10:04 am
I’m so hungover today I didn’t even see the problem.
November 5, 2011 at 10:05 am
I think I found the owner of this Etsy store.
http://www.lamebook.com/meet-hellen/
November 5, 2011 at 10:13 am
you should buy it and then file a paypal claim,demand your money back when it isn’t actually blurry!
November 5, 2011 at 10:23 am
Can I just say, totally unrelated to this lemon thing, that I love that the two highest ads on the regretsy page are for sex toys and kid’s scooters, respectively.
November 5, 2011 at 10:29 am
Rugs and underwater cameras and sex toys for me, what DO they think I get up to on saturday evenings!? I mean that’s obviously tuesdays schedule! Pffft!
November 5, 2011 at 3:25 pm
The ads are generated based on other sites you’ve viewed served by the same ad company. With the admirable quality of Regretsy’s links, I get great ads on every website now!
One trip to http://www.undergear.com is bound to put scantily clad men on the ad-space of many of the websites you visit!
November 6, 2011 at 1:46 pm
Sex toys and designer onesies for me I guess the headline that should be over them: “Use one, or you may get the other.”
November 5, 2011 at 10:27 am
I have to say for a second I thought the new glasses I splashed out on, you know because my optician said she would confiscate my old ones if I didn’t, had been given the wrong prescription…. But I have to say its more legible than it is for me without the glasses…
November 5, 2011 at 10:46 am
When Life hands you Lemons, wear eye protection making Lemonade.
November 5, 2011 at 11:00 am
Well, I do like the curtains in the background. Not the computer screen so much.
And am I the only one that this takes to the Shit Salad conversation in ‘Drowning Mona?’
November 5, 2011 at 11:33 am
When life fills your house with natural gas, don’t stop to take and upload pictures – GTFO!
November 5, 2011 at 11:40 am
If life give you melons, you’re probably dyslexic.
November 5, 2011 at 11:56 am
When life hands you lemons, find someone who life has handed them vodka….
November 5, 2011 at 12:22 pm
Somebody’s getting my foot up their ass if we’re all getting free presents, some jerkoff gets alcohol, and I get fruit.
November 5, 2011 at 1:42 pm
Whoa man, we can’t all share?
November 5, 2011 at 10:54 pm
Un-possible.
Seeing the word “share” in a conversation about alcohol makes me angry. More specifically, it makes me very confused, which makes me angry.
November 5, 2011 at 12:34 pm
I thought it was saying does this craft make my butt look big?, although I can’t be sure, it might say when life gives you lemons make lemon drops. Damnit where’s my vodka? it’s packed in one of these boxes.
November 5, 2011 at 2:17 pm
Since it appears to be an “upcycled” air freshener I assume the smell is lemon. However, given that seller can’t take a picture or type a motto, how can I be confident that seller can change the size of the smell?
November 5, 2011 at 3:27 pm
“Alright, I’ve been thinking. When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade – make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager. Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons. Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons. I’m going to to get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!” – Cave Johnson, founder and CEO Aperture Science
It needed to be said.
November 5, 2011 at 8:27 pm
BURN HIS HOUSE DOWN!
Burning people! He says what we’re all thinking!
November 6, 2011 at 1:19 am
When you see blurry lemons, Cave Johnson blinded you with a combustible one.