HONORABLE MENTIONS:
Cinderella’s Coach of Fuckery by Ellen
Hi April, my 10 year old neighbor and I made this submission, which is entitled “Cinderella’s Coach of Fuckery”
Tobias Fünke by Eryn
I’m a long time reader and fan of your site, but this is my first time attempting to contribute anything to Regretsy. I apologize for the quality of the photo, but hopefully you’ll get the idea. Carving this did leave me with a bit of a mess on my hands.
Club Fuckery by Dee Tee
I’ve attached two pictures of my entry into the Regretsy Pumpkin Carving Contest. I’m glad I finally found a use for the creepy white pumpkin. I was going to make Jason’s mask with it, but Club Fuckery pride might do a better job of keeping those damn trick-or-treaters the fuck away from my house on Halloween. I don’t want to share my snickers with their lazy asses.
Bite This, Dennis by SkantTouchThis
I apologize in advance if this is one of many 9-11 pumpkins you will receive, but it had to be done. I call it, Bite This, Dennis.
On a side note, this was my first time etching a pumpkin and I learned a few things. Most importantly, pumpkin sweat must be the most acidic fucking thing in the world. It melted my shellac manicure and literally took off at least one layer of skin on my fingers. But the good news is that my husband is going to get the most amazing hand job with these soft hands tonight. Cheers!
Bikini Pumpkin by Megan
This is my entry for the pumpkin carving contest. Hot glue burns like hell, so I hope you like it. My roommate is modeling this masterpiece, and she burnt her leg on the wax when we lit the candle nipples.
AND THE WINNER IS…
Towel Pumpkin by Drink & Stitch
Here is my submission for the pumpkin carving contest: Towel Pumpkin.
That’s my daughter’s (shy) boyfriend in the background. It took a lot of alcohol and the promise to put him on my car insurance to convince him to participate.
Choosing a winner from this year’s entries was an extremely difficult task, but the idea that this woman got her daughter’s boyfriend drunk, put him in a towel and added him to her car insurance to get this shot demonstrates a commitment to fuckery never before seen in competitive pumpkin carving.
Congratulations, Drink & Stitch, and thanks for the Halloween man candy!
You have won this amazeballs prize pile:
• An autographed copy of the Regretsy book
• A necklace by Red Bess Bonney
• Notecard set by Madman Incognito
• These CF4L cufflinks by Spiffing Jewelry
• A Finnish penis magnet by Cappy Sue
• This Whimsicle Jizz Kindle cover by Sadiesez (not remotely SFW)
• 20 handmade envelopes by Grimmlyn
• A selection of handmade soaps and lotions by Lux Soap
• A Regretsy flask
• A custom Perler Portrait by PXL8R
• And everything else in this box
Email me to get your prize, and many thanks to everyone who entered this year.
Happy Halloween!
