From: Rachel
Subject: Buy Handmade
Date: October 11, 2011 10:52:06 AM PDT
To: Helen@regretsy.com

I was on Etsy a few nights ago, looking for elephant themed jewelry. I saw this on the first page of my search:

I instantly recognized it as being something that ModCloth also sells.

I reported the item to Etsy, giving them the ModCloth link, in order to show that it couldn’t have been handmade.

That was over a week ago. Today, it turned up in the search again. What gives? I wondered.

Then I saw it. “toofashion2010″ has nearly 6,000 sales. Oh.

BUY HANDMADE!

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Dear Rachel,

Thanks for sending us your find.

True, toofashion2010 appears to be a reseller, and yes, they have now made over 6,000 sales, which is a lot of money for the Etsy coffers. And granted, this is the same seller who recently closed down her Ebay store, where she had sold over 6,000 pieces of the same jewelry.

But I think you’re missing two very important pieces of information.

First, the seller makes everything by hand:

And secondly, Etsy takes all complaints about resellers “on a case by case basis.” Maybe you just didn’t give them enough cases.

So here are nineteen more cases from the same shop for Etsy to look into, as soon as they stop gloating on PBS that they are a handmade marketplace, and not a fucking cesspool of three dollar shit, hawked on the backs of actual artists trying to sell their work there.

Hope deal with you again, have a good time!

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WARNING: If you are offended by bear-dolphin hybrids with huge spurting penises, bears with distended anuses, bears being raped by dolphins, aliens raping dolphins who are raping bears, or dolphins raping bears at the behest of aliens, this may not be the post for you.

In this post yesterday, I shared an unusual request from a reader:

My friend “A” is a social worker who works tirelessly to ensure that the needs of homeless individuals, youth, and families are met. She is also terrified of: 1) being raped by a dolphin, 2) getting eaten by a bear, and 3) getting abducted by aliens.

So for her birthday, I would like to bring her deepest nightmares to life by having them immortalized in Regretsy art.

If the Regretsy following would be so kind as to help me produce works representing her most deep seated fears, I will gladly donate $100 to the charity fund.

I offered to match her donation, so that her chosen winner would receive a $100 prize from me, and a $100 donation to their favorite charity by the author of the email.

Well, you came through in a big way, as you always do. Your responses were brilliant, disturbing, and brilliantly disturbing. It was very difficult to pick a winner, because as you all know, there are no winners on Regretsy.

However, A’s friend did choose a winning entry, and I will be sending the artist $100. In fact, everyone in this gallery will receive a fantastic prize of some kind, just as soon as I finish cleaning out the garage.

- Click on the thumbnails for a larger image and to leave a comment

THE WINNERS

The Happy Ending

I wanted to send you some wonderful photos of my friend’s horrified face as she opened her “birthday gift” at work this morning!

I wish you and all of the other Regretsy folks could have been here to watch her face as she gazed in horror at her computer screen.

It was hard to tell if she was hyperventilating from fear or from laughter. All in all, she says that this was the best worst birthday gift EVER!

P.S. Anne is going to take the winning picture with her to her next therapy session. Behold, the power of healing through crafts!

If you see your work in this gallery, please email me and I will arrange to send you a prize.