God, all the things I could’ve said with a cushion…
“I Gay!”
“You Have Herpe, I Sorry.”
“Stay Golden Girls, PonyBoy.”
“Cheers Up and Get Well Soon”
“What the world needs now, is love – sweet love. No not just for some, but for Everyone Hates Chris”
I’m fairly certain that “our coach miss you” is what babelfish spits out when you translate “I’m an illiterate dumbass” from English > French > Finnish > Tagalog > Korean > English.
It means, “That couch we bought from the set of PeeWee’s Playhouse came to life and said, ‘Remember how you and Slobert used to sit on me all day and night watching Battlestar Galactica while dropping Crunch Tators into my cushions? Yeah, me too. Put that on a pillow and send it to him, OK?’ SO HERE YA GO HONEY!”
It means, “That couch we bought from the set of PeeWee’s Playhouse came to life and said, ‘Remember how you and Slobert used to sit on me all day and night watching Battlestar Galactica while dropping Crunch Tators into my cushions? Yeah, me too, I miss that. Put that on a pillow and send it to him, OK?’ SO HERE YA GO HONEY!”
/Apparently the etsy seller isn’t the only illiterate dumbass around here…
It means I’m too emotionally constipated to tell you I slightly prefer your presence over your absence, so I’m going to go with “The couch misses you.”
Oh well then, I guess you never caught your boyfriend fucking the couch…I have. Yup, right. He had it right between the cushion base and the cushion. I knew he was a chubby chaser, but, come on, how could I compete with a loveseat?
The knockoff bags are exactly what I thought of when I read it. They make so many overseas & likely think we’re all lazy fucks over here, so Couch probably made more sense than Coach as a trademark. Therefore they’d associate the picture with the word couch. See? Nothing good for fat, jealous losers!
Just a question, How are there horses pulling the coach when Gus and the other mice are clearly standing next to Cinderella?
I QUESTION THE VERISIMILITUDE OF YOUR VISUAL PUN!
October 29, 2011 at 4:32 pm
Say it with a cushion: Whoopie!
October 29, 2011 at 4:49 pm
Sofa, so good.
October 29, 2011 at 9:45 pm
The fuckery is divan.
October 30, 2011 at 6:37 am
I’d like to see that heart changed though…
October 30, 2011 at 9:55 am
That is so sick! You are wonderful!
October 29, 2011 at 4:50 pm
That joke is a gas…
October 29, 2011 at 5:45 pm
It’s a gas, gas, gas!
October 30, 2011 at 12:07 am
God, all the things I could’ve said with a cushion…
“I Gay!”
“You Have Herpe, I Sorry.”
“Stay Golden Girls, PonyBoy.”
“Cheers Up and Get Well Soon”
“What the world needs now, is love – sweet love. No not just for some, but for Everyone Hates Chris”
October 29, 2011 at 4:34 pm
A high school swim instructor just got fired for handing these out to his team.
October 29, 2011 at 4:42 pm
We miss you, too, coach.
October 29, 2011 at 4:34 pm
Put me in couch, I prepare for the playing presently.
Looking at me I am can be field cneter.
October 29, 2011 at 9:52 pm
It’s very probably that you’ll score some points so I hope couch doesn’t waist you’re potential.
October 29, 2011 at 4:35 pm
It only misses you for as long as your ass-print stays in the seat.
October 29, 2011 at 4:40 pm
With or without the lipstick?
October 29, 2011 at 9:53 pm
Are you paying the $19.99?
October 29, 2011 at 4:35 pm
I’m fairly certain that “our coach miss you” is what babelfish spits out when you translate “I’m an illiterate dumbass” from English > French > Finnish > Tagalog > Korean > English.
October 29, 2011 at 4:36 pm
I know we’re only up to #5 but this already gets my vote for comment of the day.
October 29, 2011 at 9:54 pm
It is very probably.
October 29, 2011 at 4:37 pm
Even if this was spelled correctly, what the hell is it supposed to mean?
October 29, 2011 at 4:38 pm
My couch really liked it when we had sex on top of it.
October 29, 2011 at 5:30 pm
Your couch is a perv.
October 29, 2011 at 9:57 pm
Your coach is really a loveseat?
October 29, 2011 at 4:40 pm
Your love can only go sofa?
October 29, 2011 at 4:44 pm
It means, “That couch we bought from the set of PeeWee’s Playhouse came to life and said, ‘Remember how you and Slobert used to sit on me all day and night watching Battlestar Galactica while dropping Crunch Tators into my cushions? Yeah, me too. Put that on a pillow and send it to him, OK?’ SO HERE YA GO HONEY!”
October 29, 2011 at 4:54 pm
It means, “That couch we bought from the set of PeeWee’s Playhouse came to life and said, ‘Remember how you and Slobert used to sit on me all day and night watching Battlestar Galactica while dropping Crunch Tators into my cushions? Yeah, me too, I miss that. Put that on a pillow and send it to him, OK?’ SO HERE YA GO HONEY!”
/Apparently the etsy seller isn’t the only illiterate dumbass around here…
October 29, 2011 at 10:28 pm
Now, I feel some sympathy for Pee Wee’s furniture thanks to that comment.
Poor, poor Chairy.
October 29, 2011 at 4:45 pm
The couch still remembers that one time when you were really drunk and dry humped it on a dare.
October 29, 2011 at 4:46 pm
The conjoined twins’ cooch misses the coach’s presence on the couch?
October 30, 2011 at 3:21 am
It means I’m too emotionally constipated to tell you I slightly prefer your presence over your absence, so I’m going to go with “The couch misses you.”
October 30, 2011 at 5:50 am
Oh well then, I guess you never caught your boyfriend fucking the couch…I have. Yup, right. He had it right between the cushion base and the cushion. I knew he was a chubby chaser, but, come on, how could I compete with a loveseat?
October 29, 2011 at 4:38 pm
All these candy bars I’ve been eating are going straight to my waste! (literally)
October 30, 2011 at 6:49 pm
at least it’s the same color in as out. BTW, Love your avatar. That’s one of my favorite movies.
October 29, 2011 at 4:39 pm
How did you choose a single typo to make fun of?
October 29, 2011 at 4:58 pm
Don’t waist our time with nonscents like these.
October 29, 2011 at 5:15 pm
because the typo is on the final product that is for sale and it will arrive just as you see?
imagining every scenario this could possibly spell doom, ridicule and awkwardness later to a buyer amuses me but i’ll spare you.
October 29, 2011 at 4:40 pm
That cushion is thegretest. I’m not going to waist any more time and get one for me!
October 29, 2011 at 4:41 pm
Any time you put “hard work” in quotes it automatically becomes dirty.
October 29, 2011 at 4:47 pm
Reseller themed art print available with same sentiment:
October 30, 2011 at 5:51 am
Available in the exclusive Etsy vintage reseller section!
October 30, 2011 at 8:41 pm
The knockoff bags are exactly what I thought of when I read it. They make so many overseas & likely think we’re all lazy fucks over here, so Couch probably made more sense than Coach as a trademark. Therefore they’d associate the picture with the word couch. See? Nothing good for fat, jealous losers!
October 29, 2011 at 4:48 pm
“Davenport” was just out of the question.
October 29, 2011 at 5:01 pm
As was “chaise lounge”
October 30, 2011 at 5:52 am
That would have been a “chase lunge” right?
October 29, 2011 at 10:45 pm
But I better get my Cha-Cha heels!
October 30, 2011 at 8:01 am
Wow. A movie reference that’s too obscure for Regretsy?
October 29, 2011 at 4:51 pm
You know who I miss? Bill Fagerbakke. I love Dauber.
October 29, 2011 at 5:48 pm
You know, he’s Patrick’s voice on SpongeBob!
October 30, 2011 at 8:43 pm
Don’t forget they killed him last season on How I Met Your Mother.
October 29, 2011 at 4:57 pm
It missed us so much the listing went missing…
derptastic win!
October 29, 2011 at 5:03 pm
….
….
“This post first appeared on Regretsy on December 6, 2010″
….
…
October 29, 2011 at 7:53 pm
me = derptastic
October 29, 2011 at 5:08 pm
This isn’t just great, it’s Sofa King great!
I’d say this was derivative, but that would be a tangent.
October 29, 2011 at 9:05 pm
And the price! It’s Sofa King Low!
October 29, 2011 at 5:14 pm
and now in a whimsical print for your child’s room.
October 29, 2011 at 5:20 pm
you just had to go and make sense of it! hehehe
October 30, 2011 at 12:12 am
Just a question, How are there horses pulling the coach when Gus and the other mice are clearly standing next to Cinderella?
I QUESTION THE VERISIMILITUDE OF YOUR VISUAL PUN!
October 30, 2011 at 10:16 am
You mean “whimsicle,” right?
October 29, 2011 at 5:16 pm
Ours would say something like “Resistance Is Futon”.
October 29, 2011 at 5:54 pm
Only “thegretest” wouldn’t allow you to “waist” time…
October 29, 2011 at 5:59 pm
Chairish these moments.
October 29, 2011 at 9:39 pm
October 29, 2011 at 6:08 pm
October 29, 2011 at 10:23 pm
Whoever that guy on the right is, I think he just smelled a fart. Methinks the football player just busted some nasty ass.
October 30, 2011 at 10:10 am
I don’t know who the guy on the right is, but he looks like he just smelled a nasty fart. I think the football player must have busted some nasty ass.
October 30, 2011 at 11:58 am
Google “jim harbaugh jim schwartz” and you’ll see what all the fuss was (or wasn’t) about.
October 29, 2011 at 6:12 pm
I think that pillow is quite Divan.
October 29, 2011 at 8:29 pm
Don’t get me wrong — I think April Winchell is one of the funniest people on Earth — but sometimes Regretsy just writes itself.
October 29, 2011 at 9:16 pm
The awkward grammar continues, nearly a year later.
And the description on this one is hi-larious.
David:”I was a little depressed but when my cushion came to my life I began to sing and smile all of the time…”
I have doubts, but, hey, there is a guarantee of happiness. How often do you get one of those?
October 30, 2011 at 8:05 am
David seems to be on some pretty good meds.
October 30, 2011 at 8:06 am
Pooh. I misread David as saying “when my cushion came to life”.
Please ignore previous posting.
October 30, 2011 at 4:05 pm
I’m not sure you are wrong. I am pretty sure he’s on some amazing meds if a pillow is making him sing.
October 31, 2011 at 12:40 am
Don’t worry, I did the same thing.
October 30, 2011 at 8:05 am
That first one is a sex-during-menstruation reference, isn’t it?
Predicting the stomach-churning response to this comment: as Craig Ferguson would say, “don’t ‘oooh’ me! Have you looked at Etsy recently?”
October 30, 2011 at 9:45 am
Jeebus, the price doesn’t even include the actual pillow-just the cover. What a waist.
October 29, 2011 at 9:37 pm
October 29, 2011 at 9:42 pm
I love it lemon bombs
October 29, 2011 at 9:43 pm
I’d like to convo this seller and see if s/he does other professions (ie our layer misses you, our teecher misses you, etc.)
October 29, 2011 at 10:05 pm
Weight, let me see that picture again! Yes, I no you – it’s coach Chesterfield.
October 29, 2011 at 10:07 pm
October 29, 2011 at 11:06 pm
They correctly spelled “precious”, but misspelled “Couch” and “waste” ? ???
October 30, 2011 at 8:07 am
It was supposed to say “prescience.” How else would the artist know the feelings and desires of a piece of furniture?
October 30, 2011 at 8:32 am
And ‘The Greatest’
October 30, 2011 at 8:40 am
October 30, 2011 at 4:07 pm
Seasonal!
October 30, 2011 at 8:41 am
October 30, 2011 at 2:41 pm
I was wondering how long it would take to get to this one.
October 30, 2011 at 6:59 pm
perfect for the gynecologist’s office!
October 30, 2011 at 8:42 am
October 30, 2011 at 10:24 am
I may have just asked my boyfriend to share my life with me, but I’ll be DAMNED if I’m sharing my PIZZA.
October 30, 2011 at 4:15 pm
November 7, 2011 at 2:44 pm