Maybe it is Lupus
I just wanted to drop you all a friendly reminder about our 2nd Annual Pumpkin Carving Contest. Remember that all entries are due by tomorrow, October 27th at midnight PST.
The competition will be stiffer than that “coffee” you pretend to be drinking at work, so don’t dick around. Remember, there’s a metric assload of amazing prizes* at stake here!
Start carving, you lazy bastards.
*Total garbage
October 26, 2011 at 7:04 pm
Whoa. Who did that?
It is Holy Shitastic!
October 26, 2011 at 7:11 pm
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October 26, 2011 at 7:20 pm
derp derp derp of course I’m wrong, because now that I look at those fb ones again they are all pixelated and crappy. Commence the down-thumbing!
October 26, 2011 at 10:59 pm
I can’t stop looking at it. I desire that pumpkin.
There’s no point in trying to enter for me; I just don’t have those sort of craftfuckfabulous skills. I will never win a contest that does not involve pimping out my half nekkid husband. Having seen this work, I accept that.
October 27, 2011 at 5:43 am
so have your half nekkid husband hold the pumpkin for you… i dont enter because i suck at these things, plus pumpkins here are sold cut into pieces, not whole, they are huge and a yukky yellow color. i wish we had the american variety of squashes!
October 27, 2011 at 7:13 am
I’m trying to picture selling a slice of pumpkin. Sometimes we do that with watermelon, so I guess that makes sense. I think I’d really miss them.
October 27, 2011 at 11:38 am
it’s more chunks. i hate buying it because they go bad very quickly. also forget about canned pumpkin. thank goodness we have butternut squash
October 26, 2011 at 7:04 pm
I <3 this House-O-Lantern
October 26, 2011 at 7:04 pm
that’s an amazing pumpkin!
October 26, 2011 at 7:05 pm
I’m waiting: Pumpkins don’t go on sale till Tuesday!
October 26, 2011 at 7:05 pm
The question here is, is the “Houe-O-Lantern” the greatest thing every carved on a pumpkin?
Or is it just the greatest thing ever?
October 26, 2011 at 7:05 pm
It’s never lupus.
Except, you know, when it is.
October 26, 2011 at 7:12 pm
When I was diagnosed with lupus, I told my doctor the tests were wrong because IT’S NEVER LUPUS and Hugh Laurie wouldn’t lie to me.
Hugh Laurie has crushed my dreams, man.
October 26, 2011 at 7:47 pm
It’s never lupus if it gets to House. People with lupus in New Jersey go to regular doctors instead of diagnosticians. That’s my explanation, anyway.
October 26, 2011 at 8:38 pm
As a fellow lupusian, fancyspatula, don’t you think the house-o-lantern shares our butterfly rash?
October 27, 2011 at 3:22 am
He’s glowing, innit he? I definitely a rash.
October 26, 2011 at 9:59 pm
i was diagnosed with lupus 2 years ago. i can’t stop giggling whenever lupus is brought up on House =)
October 27, 2011 at 3:21 am
Oh hell, I send out mass texts. “IT’S BEEN MENTIONED AGAIN….. WAIT FOR IT… NOPE. NOT LUPUS.”
October 26, 2011 at 10:00 pm
I’ve been diagnosed with lupus a few times in my life. Then told that’s not what it is. Then told that is what it is again only to be told by the next doctor that it’s not what I have, ANA tests be damned. I always want to ask them if I need to get Dr. House in on this.
October 27, 2011 at 12:08 am
Off topic:
Damienma, your ANA titres are probably borderline and depending on stress, environment, diet, etc., go back and forth between positive and negative. Most docs won’t diagnose unless they have a firm positive, but there is such thing as ANA negative lupus, so keep on it and eventually you’ll find a Rheumy that gives you a conclusive diagnosis.
Regretsy: fat jealous losers helping fat jealous losers since 2009
October 27, 2011 at 1:25 am
I used to get the same thing until I mentioned my dry eyes and dry mouth.
Apparently Sjogren’s Syndrome test results look a lot like borderline lupus test results, and it’s kind of similar in some respects, but way less fatal. (Except when it isn’t.)
October 27, 2011 at 3:29 am
My mom had the same problem with the tests going back and forth until she got older and then all of a sudden, it was positive. Also has Sjogren’s Syndrome. So although I don’t want either of these things, I’d like for them to have some clue what has been wrong with me all these years. Luckily, my present doctor does believe there is something wrong so that is half the battle!
October 27, 2011 at 3:54 pm
Too true. I can’t describe how relieved I was when I finally heard something other than “The pain is due to inflammation, and the inflammation is probably because of the pain. Take this ibuprofen and never call me again.”
October 26, 2011 at 7:14 pm
Out by my mom there’s a bunch of billboards that say “Could I have lupus?” with pictures of depressed people on them. Everytime we pass one my husband and I say “It’s never lupus.”
Yes, we are nerds.
October 26, 2011 at 7:17 pm
I have the t-shirt that says “It’s never lupus”. I want to screenprint on the back “… until it’s fucking lupus.”
October 26, 2011 at 7:20 pm
Have you noticed they started that awareness campaign shortly after “it’s never lupus” became a meme? I always wondered if it was in response to House…
October 26, 2011 at 7:23 pm
Possibly. I have seen more of it around, but I chalked that up to hyper-awareness since I was diagnosed with it, but come to think of it, that was around meme-time. I suppose the lupus people are pissed since they’ve become a punchline; my whole family reacted with “But it’s never lupus!” when I told them. But I *do* come from a long line of assholes.
October 26, 2011 at 7:43 pm
October 26, 2011 at 10:00 pm
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October 26, 2011 at 10:14 pm
I think that’s a specific breed of cat that is just really skinny. Not sure which breed. Saimese, maybe? Or maybe Abyssinian, although whitish is a rare color for them.
October 26, 2011 at 10:35 pm
It does look like a Siamese cat, and yes, they’re a naturally skinny breed. I doubt it’s starving. I’ve seen a few starving cats in third-world countries, and this does not look anything like it.
Sorry if I’ve offended anyone by using a thin cat for this photo. I guess I should have remembered that fat cats are inherently funnier.
October 26, 2011 at 10:57 pm
Offended people are stupid.*
*I am not sorry if I offended anyone by saying that.If you are offended then you have voluntarily given me control of your brain, so I WIN HA HA!!
October 26, 2011 at 10:47 pm
I have an oriental cat and he looks just like this….it’s just the breed. They are naturally lanky, big eared, and sleek. If he were malnourished you would be able to see the tendons in his legs, his ribs poking out, and the spines of his vertebrae in his tail. Because of the shortness of their hair it’s easy to tell when they are underweight. Look up “oriental cat” and you’ll be able to verify this yourself.
October 26, 2011 at 11:51 pm
Yeah. I live in a very poor neighborhood, and we see a lot of malnourished cats around here. I’d love to feed them, but, well… There’s a reason we live in a very poor neighborhood…
October 27, 2011 at 2:51 am
That cat is just fashionably slim for its breed. It probably meows like a chain-smoking bartender, too. Mine did…
October 27, 2011 at 5:46 am
October 27, 2011 at 6:44 pm
I am both heartened and depressed to see so many other lupies on here. We’re only supposed to be 1 in a million people- does the disease select for fat jealous losers?
October 26, 2011 at 7:06 pm
I tried to carve that same exact picture into a pumpkin 2 years ago and he ended up looking like fucking Jesus. I’m so envious of this persons artistic ability.
October 26, 2011 at 7:13 pm
WAIT—the face of Jeebus showed up on your pumpkin? So, your backporch became a shrine when all the neighbors came by to worship at the infallible pumpkin. What happened when His pumpkin started to rot…or didn’t it rot?
October 27, 2011 at 7:18 am
I read that as “inflatable pumpkin”, probably because I hate them. Every time I see one, I feel inexplicably angry and want to stab it with a rake. I don’t, but a girl can dream. There’s this house up the street that has a giant pumpkin, shrek, a ghost, a vampire, Santa on a sleigh, a snowman, and a yeti. They also have a set for Christmas. Every time I drive by I twitch a little.
October 27, 2011 at 7:19 am
Sigh. And I mixed up the sets.
*hangs head*
They have 6 for Halloween and 7 for Christmas, including a GIANT working snow globe. They have no lawn when they all get running.
October 27, 2011 at 10:19 am
Having seen those gas-powered monstrosities, I didn’t doubt for one moment that those people had all of them up at the same time.
I’m not prone to violence, but whenever I go past those things I really wish I had a good small-caliber pistol in my pocket to shoot them.
The only joy I get is when I see them deflated, during the day. Seeing Santa doubled over a railing, looking like he was hungover and ready to toss his cookies somehow makes me smile.
October 26, 2011 at 7:18 pm
Oh. My. Gourd!
October 26, 2011 at 7:21 pm
Thank you! I was so afraid someone was going to squash my enthusiasm.
October 26, 2011 at 8:25 pm
You guys could try being a little more pie-ous.
October 27, 2011 at 5:48 am
I think it’s absolutely di-vine.
October 26, 2011 at 7:06 pm
I wish I could carve pumpkins well. It usually ends with me saying “fuck it” and doing simple images, like stars.
October 26, 2011 at 7:55 pm
i think i might carve “fuck it” into my pumpkin.
October 26, 2011 at 9:55 pm
Do one eye, then half of a totally lopsided nose, then write “fuck it” instead of a mouth.
October 26, 2011 at 7:07 pm
So is there Vicodin inside the pumpkin? Or is it another stupid metaphor in the form of a tube of lipstick?
October 26, 2011 at 7:09 pm
The closest I could come to this is cutting that picture out of a tv guide and pasting it to the pumpkin. That would be pretty shitty, but still the closest I could come to that awesomeness.
October 26, 2011 at 7:11 pm
Fucking House and his endless Vicodin supply. Here I am with a torn rotator cuff, a trick knee, and nearly daily migraines getting by on fucking asprin, tylonol, and ibuprofin.
Oh. And vodka.
October 26, 2011 at 7:39 pm
Thank God for vodka!
October 26, 2011 at 10:00 pm
i wonder why House never takes percocet? it works much better!
October 27, 2011 at 12:06 am
I know, right? The side effects are worse that the annoying pains…
October 26, 2011 at 7:11 pm
“Maybe It’s lupus?”
“Nope, just Chuck testa”
October 26, 2011 at 7:12 pm
I never thought I could love Greg more, I was wrong
October 26, 2011 at 7:13 pm
If I had a pumpkin I’d definitely carve a dolphin being raped by an alien.
October 26, 2011 at 7:18 pm
You’re a Dream Raper AND a tease. Now I’ll sit here, so sad, thinking that I could have seen a pumpkin carved with a dolphin being raped by an alien while the dolphin rapes the teddy bear—thought I’d forget about that, didn’t you?—but now I won’t.* Damn!
*If I tried to carve a pumpkin, I’d have to carve little pockets to collect my tears, knowing I could never achieve the alien-dolphin-teddy bear fantasy. *sniffle*
October 26, 2011 at 7:17 pm
I carved up a totally* awestein** pumpkin this year, I’m nervously biting my nails hoping you got it!
*Totally = Semi
**That’s right forum bitches, I went there
October 26, 2011 at 8:27 pm
Gourdspeed, STS.
Yes I reused “gourd”.
October 26, 2011 at 7:22 pm
This may be the first time I’ve ever been sexually attracted to a pumpkin.
October 27, 2011 at 1:30 am
Out-of-context comment of the –
(what do you mean, it’s not today any more?)
–yesterday!
October 26, 2011 at 7:30 pm
I’ve been staring at my pumpkins for 2 days…I have 3 of them and I’m waiting for that brilliant idea.
The only idea I’ve had so far is attempting to re-create the girl Adelaide from American Horror Story. Hmmm…maybe Zachary Quinto!
October 26, 2011 at 8:11 pm
At leat they’ll be topical!
October 26, 2011 at 9:39 pm
It’s either going to be one of them or Zelda Rubinstein…
October 27, 2011 at 12:08 am
That’s it…I’m putting topical ointment on my pumpkin…thanks unseeliepixie!
October 26, 2011 at 10:01 pm
go Adelaide!!
October 27, 2011 at 1:33 am
I’ve been staring at my pumpkins for 2 days…I have 3 of them
Eccentrica Gallumbits reads Regretsy?!
October 27, 2011 at 2:14 am
“The Triple-Breasted Whore of Eroticon Six” is just my surname.
October 26, 2011 at 7:31 pm
Are some of the entries really up to the standard of that House pumpkin? Because if that’s the case, I’ve got no chance.
October 26, 2011 at 7:40 pm
When I saw that title I was like “That’s House not Lupus (from Harry potter)…ohhhhhh” derr
October 26, 2011 at 8:09 pm
Lupus Malfoy was always my favorite. He’s right up there with Typhus Dumbledore and Ronald Measles in my book.
October 26, 2011 at 8:38 pm
I didn’t say I was right. I said I was stupid. LOL
October 26, 2011 at 7:46 pm
Usually right after the Lupus suggestion, the patient starts BLEEDING FROM THEIR ANUS!!!!!
October 26, 2011 at 7:56 pm
Thanks for the added pressure Bronc!
October 26, 2011 at 7:57 pm
My friend Luis Gomez has Lupus. I call her my “little latin Lupus Lu”.
October 26, 2011 at 8:29 pm
Lupus? Hell it almost killed us!
October 26, 2011 at 8:30 pm
Shoooo, that is scurry!!
October 26, 2011 at 8:34 pm
Wow! Just wow.
October 26, 2011 at 8:40 pm
Damn it.
You fat jealous cuntwits are giving me too many fucking awesome ideas for the one pumpkin I was able to afford this year and I HAVE to carve something work-appropriate instead.
CURSES – foiled again!
October 26, 2011 at 9:54 pm
There’s always room for Blingee
October 26, 2011 at 10:02 pm
yes, even better with shiny shit!
October 26, 2011 at 10:17 pm
The eyes! The eyes! They will haunt my dreams tonight!
October 27, 2011 at 8:00 am
Put a glitter tear under those eyes this instant missy!
October 27, 2011 at 8:16 am
Where’s the glittery blood tear?
October 26, 2011 at 10:05 pm
but seriously, is this a real punkin? or a fantastic Photoshopping job (which is still art)? either way i love it to death!! i came to Regretsy tonight looking for a good smile or laugh, now i’ve got a major case of hiccups and can’t stop giggling =D
October 27, 2011 at 3:01 am
If it’s fake, it’s a really good fake. Here’s the FB album of the guy who made it:
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10150096320763626&set=a.10150096320303626.316780.761963625&type=3#!/media/set/?set=a.10150096320303626.316780.761963625&type=3
I hope that works…
October 27, 2011 at 4:45 am
October 27, 2011 at 5:27 am
I am bad at html, if this doesn’t work I’m giving up:
He is fantastic at faking it
October 27, 2011 at 8:41 am
Obviously digital. The color and lighting on every one of those “pumpkins” is identical.
He is good, though. All the artwork on his site is enviably good.
October 27, 2011 at 5:03 am
I’m going to try to work “metric assload” into a sentence today.
October 27, 2011 at 5:07 am
If someone would give me a great idea, I would carve like a crazy person, but the funny keeps escaping me…
October 27, 2011 at 3:56 pm
Or you could stop trying to be a special snowflake and just carve a goatse-gourd like the rest of us.
October 27, 2011 at 8:02 am
My life is perfect now. I want that pumpkin.
October 27, 2011 at 9:18 am
that totally rules… he is sorta creepy.
October 27, 2011 at 10:34 am
It’s the eyes…they’re looking right through me…*shudder* Creepy is right. And I mean that in a good way, a Hugh Laurie rocks and I would so do him kind of way.
October 27, 2011 at 1:48 pm
Back when I was watching House regularly,in every episode someone would suggest “sarcoidosis”, which, inevitably, it was not.
I guess lupus is the new sarcoidosis.
October 27, 2011 at 7:13 pm
And of course this is the one year I don’t have a pumpkin.
October 28, 2011 at 5:10 pm
Maybe it’s already been said, but I would hump the shit outta that House pumpkin.