Healing through Tragicrafting: Steve Jobs Edition
Crafters are a sentimental bunch.
As soon as someone famous dies or there’s some sort of national tragedy, lights dim all over the country. But then, that’s what happens when thousands of glue guns heat up at once.
I call it, Tragicrafting™. It’s an uncontrollable urge to make some sort of “tribute” merchandise, and put it in your Etsy store before the body gets cold. Oh, not to profit, of course, but to heal.
The other night, just after Steve Jobs died, I showed you two people who tried to get their healing on as quickly as possible:
The HOT iPhone cover (now mercifully removed by the seller):
And this thing:
This one is especially noteworthy, as it marks a new development in this field: Tragitagging.
Tragitagging • (n) [traj-i-tag-ging] Slapping the name of a recently deceased celebrity on a completely unrelated item that’s been moldering in your Etsy store for months
What impresses me the most about this votive candle holder glued to a plate is the completely unrepentant attitude of the seller. Not only did she Tragi-Tag this cake plate, she also created a treasury of Steve Jobs Tragicrafts so she could feature it.
Isn’t that touching? I think we all know how much Steve Jobs liked Snickers and wreaths. And don’t get me started on his edible butterfly habit!
I’m sure I don’t have tell you how this fuckery was received:
Come on you guys! He totes changed technology and it’s impact on the world. Plus the colors are great!
You can’t blame them, actually. Poor dears, they think this is marketing. Etsy isn’t going to tell them they’re morons; the clueless and horribly misguided are their gluten-free bread and vegan butter!
Let’s not fight it. After all, opportunism only knocks once! Just sit back and be healed by the magic of Tragicrafting.
Steve would have wanted it that way.
- Click here to keep your eye on the growing pile of crafts clogging up the Etsy colon
October 7, 2011 at 5:06 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
October 7, 2011 at 5:09 pm
I sat at your table once. You were a real bitch.
October 7, 2011 at 5:12 pm
Maybe you should see if they have a Condescending and Poorly-Timed Restaurant Anecdote App on Android?
Oh, they don’t?
Well, wait it out. I’m sure it’s coming.
October 7, 2011 at 10:27 pm
Dear LeCoeur,
You are the snarkalicious wonderkind.
xoxo
October 7, 2011 at 5:13 pm
If the conversation went anything like this:
You: May I take your order sir–Steve Jobs?! I bet you’ll be ordering the apple!
Him: Fuck you!
I’m on his side.
October 7, 2011 at 5:22 pm
Yeah, bitchy people deserve to die a miserable early death.
Good bye human race.
October 7, 2011 at 6:01 pm
All of a sudden you all knew him? Sorry- I saw the drink go in his wifes face and the other guy at the table tackle him. Didnt say he should die, just said he was a real bitch.
Here in the valley, btw, he was well known for his explosive temper.
October 7, 2011 at 6:18 pm
I think you’re missing the point just a wee bit. We aren’t arguing about his personality. We’re saying you’re a fucking bitch for acting like being rude to a waiter makes him deserving of an early death.
October 7, 2011 at 6:28 pm
Um, well, she didn’t act that way. She said he was a real bitch, not ‘real bitches should die early deaths of pancreatic cancer.’ Now, I can’t vouch for the veracity of her statement, but the fact that Jobs is dead doesn’t change whether he was a nice guy or not, and really, there’s no point pretending, so if she had a personal experience with him that was unpleasant she has every right to point that out.
October 7, 2011 at 6:32 pm
agreed. but it comes out sounding a bit wrong as the first post in a forum where we’re referencing his death and people’s reactions to it.
October 7, 2011 at 7:51 pm
WTF? I can’t figure this whole Regretsy-defends-Jobs-no-matter-what bullshit. she never said he should die young, painfully or otherwise. She was posting a comment.
WTF happened to snarkiness being ok?? Is it just “too soon” for Jobs snark??
October 7, 2011 at 10:44 pm
Re: NanaB
Not if he really was an asshole.
The proper response to an asshole, dead or alive, is: ‘What an asshole!’
October 8, 2011 at 8:13 am
I’m not even defending him. It’s just fucking tacky for her to make that comment in this context, regardless of the kind of person he was. It bothered me, so I spoke up. She’s allowed to make her comment, AND I’M ALLOWED TO MAKE MINE. Get over it.
October 8, 2011 at 9:24 am
I’m with angelbuttons77.
And allow me to add to snarkiness towards a certain kind of hype of our days, by leaving this here:
October 8, 2011 at 2:47 pm
Yeah NanaB, it’s like how I think it is so tacky that people said bad things about Hitler right after he died. The man just died, show a little respect and pretend he was perfect!
October 8, 2011 at 2:48 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
October 7, 2011 at 8:39 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
October 7, 2011 at 10:04 pm
I like turtles.
October 7, 2011 at 6:10 pm
Oh dear then we are all truly FUCKED!
October 7, 2011 at 8:20 pm
We can hope!
October 7, 2011 at 8:30 pm
Oh, I do dearly hope.
October 7, 2011 at 8:24 pm
I just saw someone from the Weather Channel at dinner that acted like Ted Baxter because someone recognized him.
I was this close to saying “I don’t care if you’re fucking Jim Cantore. I don’t care if you’re fucking Cheryl Lemke, but her husband might.”
October 7, 2011 at 8:52 pm
I’d have been more concerned that Jim Cantore was in my town… bad things happen when he’s around- flooding, hurricanes, weather.
October 7, 2011 at 6:42 pm
Well, I’m doomed, then.
October 7, 2011 at 5:07 pm
That Steve Jobs throw pillow is going to be totally on trend forever. That will never stop looking good on your couch.
October 7, 2011 at 5:11 pm
Comfort to me always means memorials. Seriously, is there anything more comfortable than leaning up against a gravestone?
October 7, 2011 at 8:44 pm
Sleeping in a mausoleum.
October 8, 2011 at 2:13 am
Soap bubbles.
Blowing soap bubbles always makes everything all right. Try leaning against a gravestone and blowing soap bubbles.
I’m going to go out and blow bubbles right now!
October 7, 2011 at 8:59 pm
I was thinking of recovering my Orson Welles/Yul Brynner pillow. This is perfect!
October 7, 2011 at 5:11 pm
Too bad that kid in Hong Kong that designed the profile tribute logo is getting ripped off left and right.
October 7, 2011 at 5:27 pm
Now that had class. Something not found in tragicraftingTM (can’t make the TM small, I am old and stuck in the 20th century, forgive me please)on Wetsy.
October 7, 2011 at 11:11 pm
Also, he wasn’t flogging it for money. Respect.
October 8, 2011 at 12:47 am
I thought that. Bastards.
October 8, 2011 at 5:47 am
thumbs up thumbs up thumbs up thumbs up thumbs up thumbs up
October 7, 2011 at 5:12 pm
I think I can improve this sorry situation:
Like an army of tiny Drors. Or at least, that’s what I imagine…
October 7, 2011 at 5:12 pm
DAMN YOU YOUTUBE
http://youtu.be/uZtCZOiZ-cg
click here for shufflin’
October 7, 2011 at 6:20 pm
That was fantastic…made all the more by imagining a whole field of little Drors. Lots and lots of Drors!
Yum!
October 7, 2011 at 7:07 pm
EVERY DAY I’M SOUSAPHONE
I bet those dudes are hella toned from all the marching practice…
October 7, 2011 at 10:32 pm
The capes! The hats! The booty shaking!
HAHAHA
That made my week.
October 8, 2011 at 2:42 pm
omg! bestest thing on
teh interwebsthe internetOctober 7, 2011 at 5:12 pm
Fuck this shit: http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_li336b6fpY1qdqf08o1_500.gif
October 7, 2011 at 5:13 pm
Is that Alan Rickman?
October 7, 2011 at 5:15 pm
Indeed. It’s my reaction to these Tragicrafts.
October 7, 2011 at 5:27 pm
It is the best reaction to these Tragicrafts. Shit, I need to find a Rickman gif for every occasion…
October 7, 2011 at 6:20 pm
Please do!!
October 7, 2011 at 5:19 pm
I love you!
October 7, 2011 at 5:40 pm
In my mind’s version of your gif, his next move is to stalk across the room and rip my clothes off. Nicely done.
October 7, 2011 at 5:43 pm
hey that was my next mind image but its his clothes he rips off then mine
October 7, 2011 at 5:45 pm
also *forgot to mention*…hes yelling YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME???!!!!!
to which I manage to squeak out….yesh pleaze ;D
October 8, 2011 at 2:14 am
brb: changing underpants.
October 8, 2011 at 1:39 pm
Alan Rickman is always the answer.
October 7, 2011 at 5:14 pm
I think I’ll wait for the Steve Jobs/Apple themed placenta print, thank you very much.
October 7, 2011 at 5:31 pm
THEN YOU COULD EAT BOTH!!!
How meta is that?
October 7, 2011 at 5:14 pm
Yeah, I totally think of dessert plates when I think of Steve Jobs. He was such a huge influence on the baking industry. Totally. Like for sure.
October 7, 2011 at 5:18 pm
It’s red. And apples are red. Totes appropriate for memorializing Steve Jobs!!
October 7, 2011 at 5:41 pm
apples are red
sales a bit blue?
tag anything “steve jobs”
your sales will fly through
a cake stand, a dust mop
no difference it makes
pull peeps to your etsy shop
whatever it takes
October 7, 2011 at 5:51 pm
If you haven’t posted that on her treasury, you should.
October 7, 2011 at 5:54 pm
you have my permission to post it there – I’m not ready yet to get locked down cupcake style.
October 7, 2011 at 6:02 pm
Done. I’m just a buyer, so I have no compunctions
I think the deleting has commenced again.
October 7, 2011 at 6:35 pm
Was the poem posted? I just looked and can’t find it.
Shame…shame, shame, shame—that such a fine and telling poem isn’t there.
October 7, 2011 at 6:38 pm
catta posted it – and it got removed right away.
October 7, 2011 at 6:54 pm
I may or may not have jumped the gun on this poem and immediately posted it to the treasury before realizing that many brave Regretsians before me had already posted it.
However, I managed to incorporate the word ‘butthurt’ into my post, so I may just win the coveted title of most quickly deleted comment.
October 7, 2011 at 6:57 pm
maybe I should add it to my How to Profit Magnet… a bonus!
October 7, 2011 at 8:45 pm
done…posted as a bonus …
October 7, 2011 at 7:52 pm
Except the Apple brand apple has never, actually, been red….
October 7, 2011 at 8:55 pm
Well, it was, in the 80s. Admittedly, it wasn’t entirely red. It had bits of other colors…like orange and yellow…and green…and…some other colors…I’m just going to go now.
October 8, 2011 at 9:42 am
LOL! Yeah – rainbow, I think, is the color you’re looking for!
October 8, 2011 at 9:13 pm
Know what’s aggravating? The curator changed several items after making the initial treasury. I favorited it how it originally was, and it was relevant to jobs at first. Then she changed things, added her own cake plate, and I think threw her friends’ shit in there or something because there was no reason to change anything.
October 7, 2011 at 5:14 pm
I desperately want to see The Only Sane Person In The World make a comment about that dumb tribute collection.
October 7, 2011 at 5:16 pm
Several of us did. They were deleted almost immediately.
October 7, 2011 at 5:22 pm
I just clicked the link and looked through the rest of the comments. Some are still there! And the creator even had a passive-aggressive response to one too.
Sigh.
October 7, 2011 at 5:36 pm
I added my 2 cents. What are they gonna do? Tell me I can’t buy there? It’s not like I sell anything or would buy from any of these fuckers.
October 9, 2011 at 2:43 pm
It’s Sunday evening, 5:40 p.m. and I just posted the following 2 comments (can’t do a screen cap). Let’s see how long it lasts:
#1: This treasury is just awesome. It makes me feel awful–truly the original definition of the word, full of awe. Full of awe at the blatent attempt to profit from a celebrity’s death by pulling together the oddest collection of crap, just to focus attention on your own shop, specifically a $30 SINGLE cupcake plate?!?!? I’m awestruck. To use the common definition of the word, this is truly awful–absolutely repuslive and disgusting.
#2: And why, if there 8 pages of comments, only 3 of them can be accessed?
October 9, 2011 at 3:23 pm
She must have been dining. Took about 40 minutes to be deleted.
October 7, 2011 at 6:04 pm
I was waiting for that!
October 8, 2011 at 9:15 pm
now what’s aggravating? The curator changed several items after making the initial treasury. I favorited it how it originally was, and it was relevant to jobs at first. Then she changed things, added her own cake plate, and I think threw her friends’ shit in there or something because there was no reason to change anything.
Also my earlier reply there, that was nice, is still there, but my follow-up one after she changed it was deleted.
October 7, 2011 at 5:15 pm
Some of these people are going to be hearing from Apple’s Legal Department real soon.
October 7, 2011 at 7:16 pm
My favorite thing is that many of them are using his “Stay foolish” quote. Done and done.
October 8, 2011 at 2:31 am
Something I love about the “stay foolish” quote is that it was him quoting something else.
Isn’t it lovely that modern Icons can’t even come up with their own wisdom? (Though far as I know he never claimed the words as his own, a lot of people blindly credit them to him.) I’m sure Stevie would have agreed that imitation is the highest form of flattery. Or some shit.
October 7, 2011 at 5:16 pm
October 7, 2011 at 5:20 pm
Sweet! inspired me to repost!
October 7, 2011 at 5:26 pm
I haven’t seen such tear-inducing cluelessness in far too long. I’m weeping now.
October 7, 2011 at 6:26 pm
Please note that not all the “praise” is serious. Some of it is meant as sarcasm (only to “win” a passive-aggressive response from the craftard who created the treasury).
October 7, 2011 at 6:33 pm
after I posted a mini-rant about her bad taste on that treasury, she sent me a very long passive-aggressive convo about how I should change my shop and tags to get more sales. She said, I love your shop, too! Facepalm.
October 7, 2011 at 6:38 pm
Nuh uh. Screencaps, I beg you.
October 7, 2011 at 5:16 pm
I like how the onesie is labelled “death clothes”. DEATH CLOTHES. Definitely something you want to buy for a baby.
October 7, 2011 at 5:21 pm
It’s actually LABELLED that? I thought that was Helen having fun. I despair. I would maybe cease despairing if some clever person could find a nativity scene and dress Baby Jesus in that onesie…
October 7, 2011 at 5:36 pm
Maybe if you’re into human sacrifice you’d buy something labeled “death clothes”.
October 7, 2011 at 5:17 pm
Need to go create some Photofuckery. BRB.
October 7, 2011 at 6:27 pm
Lemon Bombs, I should have been out of here an hour ago, but now that I’ve seen your post, I’m waiting…it’s always worth it.
*rubs hands in gleeful anticipation*
October 7, 2011 at 6:35 pm
Yes, PLEASE. I’ve been waiting for someone who knows how to operate Photoshop to post.
October 7, 2011 at 6:35 pm
VIEW THEM IN A ROOM
October 7, 2011 at 6:37 pm
These are all tiny versions of items tragi-tagged “Steve Jobs.”
October 7, 2011 at 8:39 pm
To be fair, the little bobble-head looking guy is a regular item for that seller. She also has a Mark Zuckerberg doll, and unless the Winklevoss twins start getting ideas from “Superjail,” he’s still going to be alive for a while.
October 7, 2011 at 9:31 pm
I actually kinda like it. The paper doll, though, creeps me out.
October 7, 2011 at 6:41 pm
Ooh, I know what could make this even more craptastic—if the cupcake stand with Steve Jobs on it could rotate!
Love how you detailed the lamp to sorta kinda look like the Pixar logo. It’s your attention to details that make your work so awesome!
October 7, 2011 at 6:53 pm
Surprise, that is exactly how the lamp for sale looks!
It would have been more craptastic, but I could have gone on all night, and my meds aren’t gonna take themselves.
October 7, 2011 at 8:32 pm
Personally, I like how the wooden apples sparkle now. Admit it LB – you added swarovski crystals & glitter didn’t you?
October 7, 2011 at 9:32 pm
*hangs head*
Maybe….
October 7, 2011 at 8:25 pm
Lemon,you are “da Bomb”!
October 7, 2011 at 5:19 pm
oh babby jeebus are you fucking KIDDING me?? someone needs a kick in the taco for that fucked up excuse for a treasury!
October 7, 2011 at 5:26 pm
Funny – when I created a treasury of Steve Jobs tragicraft, people expressed a mixture of admiration and butthurt…
http://www.etsy.com/treasury/MTQzOTUzODN8ODMzNTAyNjkw/steve-jobs-memorabilia
October 7, 2011 at 5:30 pm
“Such a shame; I guess people have to vote with their wallets then. It’s a great looking cake stand though, isn’t it?”
Oh God, that is so brilliant, it stings
October 7, 2011 at 6:41 pm
Isn’t it amazing how they look right at the problem and just don’t see it?
MrTugs, you made my day!
October 7, 2011 at 6:42 pm
Thanks for this. Someone I know posted a comment, learning too late that the strike/strike html doesn’t work on Etsy. Oh well.
October 7, 2011 at 5:31 pm
4EnvisioningVintage = Stepford Wife. People scare the shit out of me.
October 7, 2011 at 5:34 pm
funny thing; i just ate an apple before this popped up on the facebook feed. i should go mount the core on a necklace and label it with steve jobs.
it would fit right in here in this treasury.
October 7, 2011 at 5:42 pm
Don’t forget to dry it, shellack it, and then cover it in red glitter on the peel, and this is the important bit, yellow glitter in the eaten bits on the core… Then you seal it, and BINGO. Instant Steve Jobs memorial!
October 7, 2011 at 6:44 pm
Annnnd write touching Etsyesque copy to go with it—she was thinking of Steve Jobs and all his wonderful inventions as she listened to Beatles tunes (on the Apple record label) on her iPod.
October 7, 2011 at 9:18 pm
After it has been glittered and sealed, it will need some Swarovski crystals and maybe a bit of barn wood because you can always use more barn wood.
October 7, 2011 at 7:18 pm
I know! I ate one today too, and it was Macintosh! Creepy. He only died, like, a couple of days ago.
October 7, 2011 at 8:57 pm
Too Soon!
October 7, 2011 at 5:39 pm
I was inspired to leave a comment on that treasury thingamabob whatsit, I strive to be honest in my opinion of treasuries. And honesty was sorely lacking over there.
October 7, 2011 at 5:42 pm
But WE are the assholes for making fun of the FauxBos. Right.
October 7, 2011 at 5:43 pm
All of these Tragicrafts are brought to you by Crapple(TM).
Crapple(TM). Making money off Celebri-death since the beginning of time.
October 7, 2011 at 6:22 pm
MsBitchhands FTW!!
October 7, 2011 at 7:22 pm
Always.
October 7, 2011 at 6:43 pm
October 7, 2011 at 7:00 pm
Lemon Bombs, I’m sorry–but I don’t understand this one. Please educate me? I’m old and remember computers programmed with punch cards. Promise I won’t chase you off my lawn!
October 7, 2011 at 8:50 pm
I learned to program on punchcards. And I built a TI 99-4/A from scratch. (Granted, I was ten years old.)
It’s not a computer term. Think about a hand gesture that one person congratulating another does…
October 8, 2011 at 7:13 am
Aw, I miss my TI 99/4 and 99/4A. I really do. You’ve made me sad now.
On the bright side…
http://www.99er.net/emul.shtml
October 9, 2011 at 11:40 am
“High 5″ was my first thought, but it seemed too simple and I couldn’t figure out how it related to Steve Jobs. I was overthinking.
This “T1 99-4/A” I know not of what you speak. My dad used punch card for the room-size computers he ran at work and I did them when I took my one statistics class in college in the early 1980s. I still have a few that I kept as souvenirs. That may or may not explain a certain computer crash of 19XX. I’m not saying.
October 7, 2011 at 5:48 pm
Oh Helen, if only you had seen some of the wonderful comments people were making on the registry before the Cupcake Brigade deleted them.
October 7, 2011 at 5:49 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
October 7, 2011 at 6:23 pm
You are a disgusting human being.
October 7, 2011 at 6:30 pm
Let’s ignore her–no more comments, just willful indifference. Trolls wither and die when they can’t get attention.
October 7, 2011 at 6:44 pm
Pay attention to Mugsy instead.
Hi, Mugsy!
October 7, 2011 at 6:52 pm
Hi, Lemon Bombs! Glad I hung around long enough to see your work–always puts a smile on my face. (Oh, before I forget, I sent your “you spelled everything wrong” cat to a friend who never ever uses profanity–and I apologized ahead of time, but said I had to share it and she said it made her giggle!)
October 7, 2011 at 7:07 pm
And also say hello to mrtugs!
October 8, 2011 at 8:43 am
LB~ Please repost your I spelled everything wrong cat here again! I missed it and need it. As a former proofreader & cat loverer (sic)
October 9, 2011 at 11:51 am
@SlippinDoodie, because Lemon Bombs posted it again for me, I can and will direct you to it over in Club Fuckery:
http://cf4l.regretsy.com/2011/10/04/photo-synthesis/
It’s about halfway down. The look on that cat’s face SO emphasizes the comment. Absolutely brilliant.
October 7, 2011 at 5:53 pm
I’m honestly surprised there hasn’t been more tragicrafting. I’d like to say I’m proud, but that would be stretching it.
October 7, 2011 at 7:14 pm
That reminds me—I think someone already did a Steve Job goatse.
October 7, 2011 at 5:53 pm
wow. that apple dessert stand tribute hasn’t sold yet. shocking. i would have figured some fan would have snatched that sucker right up. it seems so fitting.
October 7, 2011 at 6:01 pm
her goal wasn’t to sell it – it was to bring people to her shop. Her sales have been slow, one every day or so.
She’s had 7 sales today. I imagine she doesn’t care which of her glued together crap sells, as long as it sells.
So to her, this is a win.
To the humane and sane among us, FAIL.
October 7, 2011 at 6:03 pm
oh – i know what she was doing – i believe I told her as much in the comments on the treasury – don’t know if it has been deleted or not yet, most likely has been – but it’s pretty obvious she just wanted attention. sad.
October 7, 2011 at 6:09 pm
Didn’t she send you an e-mail? She sent me one out of the blue after I posted on her treasury.
October 7, 2011 at 6:15 pm
Screen cap please
October 7, 2011 at 6:20 pm
October 7, 2011 at 6:46 pm
OMG, or what shit she’s on, because she must be high.
October 7, 2011 at 7:33 pm
dagnabbit, my beautiful comment blasting her a new asshole was deleted and I didn’t get a nonsense email, I feel doubly cheated!
October 7, 2011 at 10:29 pm
*sniff sniff* Hmmm…a blend of bullshit and heavy sarcasm in that conversation.
October 7, 2011 at 6:37 pm
like I said above, after I called her out on that treasury, she convo’d me suggesting that I tag some of my beads with “Steve Jobs. You’ll get more sales and be too busy to spread negativity.” I’ll never be that busy. That being said, to me, negativity = snark. CF4L!!!!
October 7, 2011 at 9:05 pm
Damn it. It was funny until I realized that not only are these people cold-hearted profiteers, their schemes are actually WORKING.
I’ve lost the will to snark.
October 8, 2011 at 7:10 am
This little blurb in her store really inspired me:
The Roche Studio handcrafted pedestals are also known as dessert pedestals, dessert stands, cupcake stands, cupcake pedestals, cake stands, cake pedestals, footed dishes, footed servewares, soap dish, soap pedestal dishes, trinket dish, trinket pedestal dishes, ring holder, jewelry holder, jewelry pedestal, jewelry stand, display dishes, display pedestals, elegant plates & platters, pedestal platters, platter pedestals, serving platter, footed plates or platters, large tray, decorative plates, treat pedestals, ceramic plate pedestal.
WTF.
October 8, 2011 at 2:04 pm
Not “upturned glasses with plates glued on top” then?
October 9, 2011 at 11:52 am
She ran out of room. Etsy has a space limit in the “Describe your fuckery here!” space.
October 8, 2011 at 3:49 pm
I keep looking for “crap” but can’t find it. Am I missing it somewhere?
October 7, 2011 at 5:57 pm
Wait a second…that is a single cupcake stand? Meaning it only holds one cupcake? For $30, I was under the impress that it was a full-size cake stand.
Not only is she tactless, she doesn’t know how to price her tacky shit accordingly.
October 7, 2011 at 6:02 pm
who displays one cupcake in the first place?
i guess it could be alternatively used as a champagne bottle stand.
or a dildo stand.
October 7, 2011 at 6:24 pm
Depends on the dildo.
October 7, 2011 at 7:10 pm
Maybe it’s one giant cupcake.
October 7, 2011 at 7:10 pm
Maybe it’s one giant cupcake.
October 7, 2011 at 7:53 pm
Maybe it’s specifically designed for that fucking Big Top Cup Cake (here) garbage of infomercial fame, making this doubly tasteless.
October 7, 2011 at 8:52 pm
I think it’s actually a glass salad plate mounted on a juice glass. Not a bad overall effect, but not for $30, and not to commemorate a man who changed technology and just died of cancer.
October 7, 2011 at 5:58 pm
I finally get it.
So far whenever I’ve seen the word tribute, I’ve been thinking of something I might be required to give to the Roman Legion if I happened to want to get into a city they are currently occupying. You know. Tribute. Or something I might be required to give the Huns when they over-run my hometown. You know. Tribute.
Now I get it. These tragicrafters are the Legion of Huns of our times. They demand tribute. Right?
October 8, 2011 at 6:15 am
Millions for defense, but not one cent for tragicrafting!
October 7, 2011 at 6:02 pm
Do the earrings also stick to your car?
October 7, 2011 at 6:05 pm
You can download a ton of music on those suckers while checking your e-mail and surfing the net. Can’t you?
October 7, 2011 at 6:06 pm
I don’t know who kittehcata is but her poem in the comments on Etsy is pure gold. So good I’m sure it will be deleted immediately.
October 7, 2011 at 6:27 pm
Scroll up.
October 7, 2011 at 6:33 pm
Thank you, I didn’t even see it on here. I was too involved watching everything being deleted.
October 7, 2011 at 9:06 pm
That was NanaB’s poem. But I did really enjoy posting it.
October 7, 2011 at 6:16 pm
The words “New HOT RIP Steve Jobs” conjure gross mental images of “Thriller,” only starring Jobs.
And are you telling me there are vapid hipsters who eat gluten-free and vegan just to be “cool”? It’s not cool. It’s a huge, miserable pain in the ass and I want some fucking bread and I CAN’T HAVE IT OH GOD but I’ll pass on the cow pus and stuff.
October 7, 2011 at 6:32 pm
Please send all passed-on cow pus to me. Medium rare if possible.
October 8, 2011 at 9:48 am
Yeah, GF is so NOT fun or cool. But if you like, I can send you the bread from the local GF bakery – OMG, her stuff is better than “traditional” baked goods! Her cupcakes? DIVINE. She does vegan stuff as well, I think…
October 7, 2011 at 6:28 pm
Steve Jobs cried on occasion, and has been known to have visited the World Trade Center during his career. He’s even been in the presence of pictures of Eagles. So Dennis Waldron will be contacting his Estate soon.
October 7, 2011 at 6:31 pm
Ok – I totally agree with everything HK said.
On the other hand, that iAm Legend shirt is pretty cool. Not as a Jobs tribute per se, just as a cool shirt. And I don’t even buy Apple products.
October 7, 2011 at 6:41 pm
Sorry for a double post, but one more thing. Jobs was not, to my understanding, the primary engineer of the technology that Apple developed. He was more the guy who envisioned new uses for that technology (for example, the Apple I had potential but was hard to use except by people who knew their way around circuits and such; Jobs saw that by doing that step for people, they would have a much wider market, and thus the home computer was born). He contributed a LOT, of course, don’t get me wrong. However, it was the engineers that changed technology. Jobs (by himself and with his design teams) reimagined how that technology could be used. Which is very important. I just get tired of people acting like Jobs single-handedly designed the iPod or the iPhone instead of realizing that such things could be engineered and getting his engineers to make it happen.
October 7, 2011 at 7:04 pm
I know what you mean. Last night, my Apple-obsessed husband said Jobs invented more and better stuff than anyone, including Thomas Edison. I was not buying it. However, he was a genius at anticipating what people would want to use, how they would want to use it, how to make those items user-friendly and how to market the hell out of them. I really respect that, and I found a lot of inspiration in his commencement speech, which made the rounds yesterday in various tributes to him. He died far too young, but he did some great things with his life.
October 7, 2011 at 7:29 pm
I agree with you about Jobs.
However, prepare for the anti-Edison rant. Or not so much anti, but the ‘Edison was overrated compared to others’ rant- Edison filed a lot of patents that he _and his research team_ developed; however, in terms of true genius I don’t believe Edison comes nearly as close as people like Einstein and Tesla. I mean Edison’s method was basically: ‘Have my huge research team try every possible variation until something works.’ People like Einstein or Tesla worked on a deeper level, even if they didn’t get as many patents (btw, patents are given regardless of whether something works. For example there are patents for ‘anti-gravity machines’ that are total BS. So judging a person’s inventiveness based upon their patent count is not a good idea).
Eh, probably it is a dumb argument anyway. I mean Edison invented the light bulb; Tesla invented the A/C current that makes the light bulb useful.
October 7, 2011 at 9:06 pm
Have you seen this delightful story about Tesla, starring John C. Reilly and Crispin Glover, as told by a drunk man? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3gOR91oentQ It’s not kind to Edison.
Caution (and spoiler alert?): the storyteller pukes at some point.
October 7, 2011 at 9:21 pm
Drunk History! This is my favorite thing. I even got one of my friends to do one where he started to tell the story of Henry the Eighth, but then started calling Anne Boleyn Anne Hathaway, and then started talking about Mike Boleyn and T-Rex and it was nearly as funny as the actual videos.
October 7, 2011 at 9:26 pm
@BrainStew, Drunk History is one of my favorite things on the internet. The Fredrick Douglass one is beautiful.
October 7, 2011 at 10:47 pm
Can I give a plug for the graphic novels by Clevinger known as ‘Atomic Robo?’ It is an alternate history in which Tesla designed a sentient robot (Atomic Robo) who defends humanity against various threats (including threats from Edison).
October 8, 2011 at 7:22 am
Edison wasn’t an inventor. His genius lay in making other people’s ideas practical. For example, he took the idea of the light bulb and worked at it until bulbs could be made cheaply enough and burn for long enough to be worth buying.
The one thing that Edison invented entirely on his own was the idea of saying “hello” when answering the telephone. As far as is known, he actually invented the word “hello” — it was always “hallo” before.
October 9, 2011 at 2:59 am
I was there when the Reverse Takeover began.
Apple wasn’t, despite what the previous CEO thought, a bunch of prima donnas who wouldn’t do what we were told – because nobody was telling us what to do. We were a bunch of creative people desperate to have any sort of plan from higher up and to get to work on something we could actually finish – you’d be astonished at how many dead-end projects got started before Steve came back. He did contribute ideas, but more than that he was good at recognizing good ideas and pulling them all together.
October 9, 2011 at 11:57 am
Is it true that no one wanted to get on the elevator with him, because he’d grill you about your job and you could end up without one by the time you got off the elevator?
October 9, 2011 at 9:19 pm
Never heard that story! Besides, the Apple building is only 4 stories tall – not long enough for any interesting conversations. But odds are if you did find yourself talking to him, he’d already know exactly what you were working on – that happened to me the first time I met him.
Second time was when I got called up to his office to show off my Aibo that I used to let run around the atrium. He thought it was cool.
October 10, 2011 at 8:50 am
A CEO who knew what everyone did? Very impressive. I can see why’d he’d want to see an Aibo!
October 7, 2011 at 7:07 pm
The first word I thought of seeing this is “what a cow.” You know, we’re paying special attention to this because of Steve Jobs, but this crap happens all the time, anywhere anything is sold. Whatever is popular, use that to tag your stuff. Twilight, Bieber…anything people are blowing money on. It’s one thing to make it for the purpose, like the iPhone case. It’s another (IMHO) to tag any old rocks with string around them as “Steve Jobs tributes.” I admit the people who buy it are pretty much asking for it, but good lord, it says nothing good about the seller as a creator, businessperson, marketer, or possibly human being.
Jobs-exploiting woman, you are a cow.
October 7, 2011 at 7:08 pm
Damn edits, that’d be “the first three words.”
October 7, 2011 at 7:28 pm
“Cow” is way too nice. You need to study some of Sam’s videos, STAT!
October 7, 2011 at 10:48 pm
“Cow” could be translated into “Cud-chewing, manure-dumping, saggy-uddered bovine cuntbeast.” In Sam’s accent, of course.
October 9, 2011 at 11:58 am
“Cuntbeast”—damn, a great new word and I’m alone at the office. No one to use it on!
C’mon Monday…
October 7, 2011 at 7:12 pm
Is inappropriate tagging against Etsy’s rules, BTW?
October 7, 2011 at 7:33 pm
“Keyword spamming” can get your listings yanked on Ebay, but that doesn’t seem to be the case on Etsy. Of course, shit tons of people get away with it on Ebay, too, but if you get reported, they will pull the auction.
October 7, 2011 at 7:20 pm
Yay! I’ve had a comment deleted!
*rolls over and has a smoke*
October 7, 2011 at 7:22 pm
What was it???
October 7, 2011 at 7:31 pm
Damn! Why didn’t you screen cap it?
Oh lord, I just thought of tonight’s cf4l post
Thank you
October 7, 2011 at 9:35 pm
They were too fucking fast for me. My boyfriend called. I had to answer the door. YOU KIDS GET OFF MY LAWN!
October 7, 2011 at 9:36 pm
(HKpril, a pleasure as always, especially when I don’t know what I did.)
October 7, 2011 at 7:41 pm
I’m very sad that there is no “Only Sane Person in the World” comment… maybe there are no sane people on Etsy for the first time ever.
October 7, 2011 at 9:09 pm
There are sane people. The curator of the list keeps deleting negative comments, though….at least, the ones she can tell are negative. There are some deliciously sarcastic ones that slipped through. If you include the phrase “beautiful treasury,” she seems to overlook your other sins.
October 7, 2011 at 9:11 pm
There were plenty of sane people who replied. Our shit kept getting deleted. If you’ll scroll up a bit, you can see some of the comments we left and the fucked up e-mails some of us got from the curator for posting those comments.
Annnnd yeah, Catta has already posted this info.
October 7, 2011 at 9:39 pm
I was thinking the same thing…
But after the first page of sugar-coated shit, the sane comments began in multiples.
October 8, 2011 at 10:36 am
I just love when you’re looking at an Etsy discussion and you can tell the exact moment when we Regretsians become aware of it!
October 7, 2011 at 9:58 pm
Wow! I posted and was deleted in less than 5 min. And I went and registered and everything…..good thing I got the screen cap, hee, hee.
October 7, 2011 at 10:00 pm
Bet CindyLouHoohoo doesn’t have long to “live” with her lovely goatse.
October 7, 2011 at 10:14 pm
You’re right Alice. My comment is gone. BTW, it was “iCash In”.
October 7, 2011 at 10:16 pm
Got a pic below:)
October 7, 2011 at 10:10 pm
Steve Jobs’s favorite beverage was lumber; he could download blood from iTunes and he had a detachable asshole he could ninja-flick like a deadly throwing star.
.
True story.
October 7, 2011 at 10:17 pm
Sounds like a post for #Idonthavethefactstobackthisup
October 7, 2011 at 10:31 pm
Busted…
October 7, 2011 at 10:14 pm
What?! No glitter tears for the eagle? What the fuck is wrong with you Helen! Steve Jobs deserves to have the eagle cry glitter tears for him.
October 8, 2011 at 7:42 pm
fuccen eagle’s dead too. no tears for dead birds.
October 7, 2011 at 10:15 pm
Bajingo! I was right! 3 of us “negative” meanies were deleted. Again, took about 2 min. for mine. Do I get an award? This is fun and hey a 1:15, about all that I have energy for. I keeping fucking around until Fallon is over – got to make the most of bothering to register:)
October 7, 2011 at 10:15 pm
Opps. Forgot screen cap
October 7, 2011 at 10:24 pm
Your comment is way better then mine.
October 7, 2011 at 10:34 pm
October 7, 2011 at 10:51 pm
Fast little fucker with the delete key isn’t she? didn’t even see yours.
October 8, 2011 at 7:25 am
Have you noticed that there are now suppose to be 7 pages of comments but only 3 pages actually contain comments. What the fuck is wrong with her? Cant she find something better to do with her time the delete comments made about her gallery?
October 8, 2011 at 9:32 pm
I was wondering why I could only see two pages of comments out of eight.
October 7, 2011 at 10:52 pm
I tried but it was gone pretty quickly
October 7, 2011 at 11:06 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
October 8, 2011 at 9:15 pm
Other than the fact that Houdini was a magician and not a clairvoyant, there’s no such thing as a “skeleton closet” and you missed the entire point of the post, your comment was spot on.
October 9, 2011 at 8:41 am
You wouldn’t happen to be the woman who made the Steve Jobs tribute treasury? Because you make about as much sense as she does.
October 7, 2011 at 11:55 pm
I don’t mind a couple of the Steve Jobs crafts on Etsy. One seller in particular seems to actually understand what a “tribute” is—he’s selling two styles of pins/magnets, one with a vintage image of SJ & one that reads “fuck cancer—it took our Jobs” in an old Mac font & then donating the proceeds to his local branch of the American Cancer Society. Cool.
This cake plate lady is the worst of the worst though. At *least* the iPhone cover people & some of the others actually took some time to create a product that’s somewhat related to Steve Jobs. An iPhone cover with a picture of Steve Jobs could, along with being a money-making scheme, kinda sorta be construed as an actual fitting tribute. Labeling your random shit that has absofuckinglutely NOTHING to do with technology, apple, Steve Jobs or anything else relevant to him just to turn a profit, however, is gross, lazy, uncreative, shameful and just makes you the worst sort of bottom-feeding leech imaginable.
October 8, 2011 at 2:08 am
I will miss him and maybe the god wants Iphone as well…
October 8, 2011 at 4:57 am
Is there a way to create an Etsy block list?
I occasionally buy stuff from the site, but I want to make sure I don’t accidentally buy something from sellers I don’t like, such as those who posted positive comments about that treasury.
It would be great if there was a tool that would just block their stores from my searches so I don’t have to keep a manual list.
October 8, 2011 at 6:19 am
I would love that! Of course, you’d also need a comment field so you’d remember what awful thing they did/made/sold/dreamraped.
October 8, 2011 at 8:18 am
Our positive comment was not left in a malicious intent. We do NOT support profiting off of the dead. I mean, what are we going to make, an Apple soap and tag it “Steve Jobs” I do NOT think so!
October 8, 2011 at 9:03 am
btw, I might be sparklepunk.. maybe, if you add crying glitter.
btw x2: still waiting for dallitude to email me!
October 8, 2011 at 9:04 am
grrrr… image didn’t take
https://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/fEQ7vOo4ChYim3xVoz6OKw?feat=directlink
October 8, 2011 at 10:07 am
Yes Steve, please rest in ‘piece’.
October 8, 2011 at 4:40 pm
Yeah, but will his coffin look like the newest iPhone? And what color? Black, silver or white?
October 10, 2011 at 9:06 pm
I’m not sure, but I AM sure it’s going to have a hole to hang all sorts of decorative charm fuckery off of, so break out the glitter glue!
October 10, 2011 at 7:25 am
I left a snarky ass comment on that treasury calling her out for tagging an item listed in September with a day old dead person. Apparently she didn’t care much for that and deleted it, so I left her this:
“Hmm, nice to know you’re editing the comments on your treasury. Nothing like good old fashioned censorship to really drive home what Etsy is all about. I sure hope you sell that posthumously tagged cake plate and buy yourself a nice steak dinner with the proceeds.”
That girl is exactly what is wrong with Etsy, and lots of other things too.
October 10, 2011 at 8:59 pm
Who will be the first TragiCrafter(TM) to commemorate the pruple dildo and the fat owl when they finally depart? Start your engins! You know it’s coming!
October 10, 2011 at 9:08 pm
I said “pruple”. Hee hee.
October 10, 2011 at 9:00 pm
-Engines. Hate hitting “send” and finding the typos seconds later. Hey, at least I’m not too drunk to see them!
October 10, 2011 at 9:27 pm
I personally love the pictures people made that say “iDied” with a posing steve jobs right next to it
October 11, 2011 at 11:07 am
A bunch of those crappy designs are rip offs of political cartoons I’ve seen around the web, slapped onto a cheap t-shirt. I know there’s good crafters on Etsy, but the way it’s going, Regretsy is going to be around forever! April, you sure you’re up for this?
October 12, 2011 at 11:50 am
http://a5.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/312665_983495290392_119881_43740000_1256792489_n.jpg
October 14, 2011 at 8:09 am
At least I don’t see any Twilight apples anywhere tagged “Steve Jobs”…?