The Lion, The Witch and The WTF
I don’t know about you, but the idea of some hippie stashing a clump of human hair in her crafthole for a couple of years isn’t putting me in the mood to break out the Visa. If I wanted to smell like curry and skunk weed, I’d go to the Whole Foods Christmas Party.
The only way this could be more disgusting is if she photographed it in the dirt with a cat sitting on it.
And… scene
October 3, 2011 at 2:12 pm
I can’t even… I don’t even…
/sobbing
October 3, 2011 at 2:17 pm
The more I look at the second photo, the more I can’t help but think it looks like a big blue vagoo.
Which I guess makes the cat the Creature On the Blue Vagoo.
October 3, 2011 at 2:29 pm
Wasn’t the Cat & the Blue Vagoo one of Dr. Seuss’ “adult” books?
October 3, 2011 at 2:33 pm
Yes, it was part of the Whoreten Hears A Hoe collection.
October 3, 2011 at 2:42 pm
I thought The Blue Vagoo was that Brooke Shields’ movie
October 3, 2011 at 3:54 pm
“A perverts a pervert no matter how small”
October 5, 2011 at 7:33 pm
Not sure why it took me this long to think of it, but I believe its alternate title is “The Cat On The Twat.”
October 3, 2011 at 2:51 pm
Would you, could you take your snatch,
And shave it bare to make a batch
Of hair to knit and make a scarf?
It looks diseased, try not to barf!
Fat jeaslous loser will want one too
The Cat and the Blue Vagoo.
October 3, 2011 at 2:57 pm
Keely wins the Internet.
October 3, 2011 at 3:32 pm
I want to like this poem a whole lot more than once.
October 3, 2011 at 11:07 pm
Keely has just won not only the internet, but also reality, and any other realities that may or may not exist.
October 3, 2011 at 3:08 pm
If “The Big Blue Vagoo” wasn’t a children’s TV show, it needs to be RIGHT NOW.
October 3, 2011 at 3:49 pm
I know who does voices…
October 3, 2011 at 4:45 pm
I know someone who hears voices.
October 3, 2011 at 5:38 pm
^ Around here, I’m sure that’s pretty common.
October 3, 2011 at 6:20 pm
“The New Zoo Vagoo”?
October 3, 2011 at 6:27 pm
Coming right at you!
Here’s a towel.
October 3, 2011 at 7:40 pm
The Blue Vagoo Meets The Great Gazoo?
(guest voice Joey Heatherton as the Vagoo)
October 3, 2011 at 10:34 pm
Can’t help but think of Gary Gnu from the Great Space Coaster when I read that
October 4, 2011 at 3:32 am
excuse me waiter . . . there is a hair on my blue twat waffle
October 3, 2011 at 2:12 pm
The wig I wear on a daily basis looks better than that shit.
October 3, 2011 at 2:14 pm
What I mean is my wig is made out of synthetic hair that melts when I get too close to the oven(which has happened several times…today), and it looks better than her ugly ass ‘scarf’.
October 3, 2011 at 2:12 pm
All I can think of is that if you’re going to use human hair for something, it would be better served being donated to “Locks of Love”. What a selfish waste.
October 3, 2011 at 2:33 pm
I’m not sure even Locks of Love would accept that ratty mess.
October 3, 2011 at 2:43 pm
They have pretty strict guidelines, this might not have met them. Btw, does this mean everyone who gets a bunch cut off and doesn’t donate it is also selfish? Because that would be even more wasteful.
October 3, 2011 at 3:10 pm
Must be minimum of 10″ in length, CLEAN, in a braid, and no gray. They will accept gray hair, but they resell it since it’s not appropriate for children’s wigs.
(I’ve made 3 donations in my life)
October 3, 2011 at 3:39 pm
Now it doesn’t have to be in a braid – just “small” ponytails….since my hair was layered, I had to group it by lengths….
October 3, 2011 at 11:13 pm
It can’t be dyed?
October 3, 2011 at 3:13 pm
I thought the same thing. I believe she said she bought it at a beauty supply store, but why not make it into a wig for someone who has lost their hair to chemo? Or a wig just for the hell of it? Or anything except a scarf?
Also, it looks like she has long, brown hair coming from her pits. Not sure if that’s hers or the scarf…hey, if you don’t want to shave, that’s up to you. However, if it’s long enough to brush, that scares me.
October 3, 2011 at 3:14 pm
You can buy chemically-treated, pre-packaged human hair from pretty much any beauty store. People use it for weaves and making their own wigs and extensions, I swear it’s not gross. But also, poor people in China and India sell it for profit.
October 3, 2011 at 3:15 pm
….which is why it’s not being donated to locks of love….ahem.
October 3, 2011 at 8:34 pm
Some of the Indian hair that enters the US is actually being cut off by women as part of a religious thing. It’s sold without the womens’ consent or knowledge and they don’t get any of the proceeds.
October 3, 2011 at 11:09 pm
And amazingly, that’s one of the TAMER things that religion forces upon women.
October 3, 2011 at 11:14 pm
This led to some hysteria on the part of Orthodox Jewish authorities a while back.
October 3, 2011 at 4:26 pm
Eurgh, Locks of Love is pretty controversial and personally I think they are intentionally very misleading. Google “Locks of Love controversy” and you’ll find plenty of articles that can explain the whole mess better than I.
October 3, 2011 at 8:18 pm
There’s the matteroftrust organization that uses the hair (any length) for oil spills. Looks like they aren’t using it for that now but providing information for other uses.
October 3, 2011 at 8:21 pm
Agreed on both counts. I would never donate my hair to ‘LoL’.
October 3, 2011 at 6:49 pm
But why on earth would someone buy human hair without any idea what she was going to do with it? That must have been some sale!
October 4, 2011 at 7:19 am
It was a BARGAIN!
October 3, 2011 at 2:13 pm
So that’s what happened to David Bowie’s hair?
October 3, 2011 at 2:14 pm
I’d only buy this thing for 80 big ones if the scalp was still attached. I don’t want any of the other ladies at the annual Cher Impersonator Hunt to question my rights to claim the kill.
October 3, 2011 at 2:16 pm
…and the Circle of Life is complete
October 3, 2011 at 2:25 pm
NAAAAAAAANTSINGOOOOONYAAAAMAAAA bagithi Baba
Sithi uhm ingonyama
(it’s from the opening to Lion King)
October 3, 2011 at 2:29 pm
I heard it in my head, even as I read those words.
October 4, 2011 at 5:09 pm
A poon a fritata.
Something like that.
October 3, 2011 at 2:18 pm
Coffee, meet keyboard.
October 3, 2011 at 2:14 pm
That’s the biggest hairball I’ve ever seen.
October 3, 2011 at 2:31 pm
It appears that’s what the cat in the photo is saying as well…
October 3, 2011 at 2:15 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
October 3, 2011 at 2:16 pm
Why not donate it or use it for something that KIND OF makes sense- like a wig? Why looks at hair and thinks, “Wow, I’ve got to make a neon scarf with this!”? Ugh. ;_;
October 3, 2011 at 5:38 pm
That’s just it. She didn’t buy it and think “Wow, I’ve got to make a neon scarf with this!” She bought it and thought “I’m just going to let my cat stare at this for a few years and occasionally think of something that ISN’T a wig that I can use it for….”
On a side note, if I brought that home I’m pretty sure my cats would vomit on it. Making it less appealing for purchase, and making me wonder what that has been through.
October 3, 2011 at 6:01 pm
My cat would eat a big chunk of it and they gag up the world’s biggest hairball onto my bed or computer keyboard.
October 3, 2011 at 6:03 pm
*then. Sigh.
October 3, 2011 at 2:16 pm
Cat says “FML”. We could all start saving the shower drain cleanings and make Narnia costumes.
October 3, 2011 at 2:27 pm
And we can wear them to tea, with the dishes set whimsically on hair and fingernail clipping doilies.
October 3, 2011 at 2:34 pm
Halloween just got a ton cheaper!
October 3, 2011 at 2:17 pm
First thing I noticed was the cat making what we call around here “the snarf face”. It’s that look the cat gets when he smells another cat’s butt, or gets done licking his own. So, no way I’d get near that nasty looking thing, whatever it really is supposed to be.
October 3, 2011 at 3:12 pm
It’s called the “Flehmen Response“. Cats (and horses and other mammals) have a vomeronasal, or Jacobson’s organ. When they smell something particularly interesting they curl back their upper lips to use the vomeronasal organ for more intense smelling.
That’s exactly what it looks like this cat is doing.
October 3, 2011 at 3:33 pm
Oneup for random, useless information! I’m a bt surprised I didn’t know the name myself, thought I already knew of the general smell…’reflex’…( is a wealth of useless information, but I get brain farts all the time. I like to blame it on the fibromyalgia ;D )
October 3, 2011 at 8:42 pm
For the first year or so after I got my cat I’d see her doing something amusing and, I thought, unique, until I looked it up on the Web and discovered they all do it. Curl her lip when she smelled my shoes after cutting the grass? Flehmen response. Clicking noise and jaw movement when she looked at birds out the window? Prey chatter.
October 5, 2011 at 11:32 am
I’ve been around all types of animals my entire life, and my family and I have always have had cats and dogs. There has never been a point when we didn’t have a cat or dog, though we’re down to one dog now, which is a first for us lol. I almost think I’ve seen mice do it, but it’s been a long time since I’ve had pet mice so my memory’s quite foggy (I’m not revealing my age, neener neener
).
October 3, 2011 at 4:00 pm
I like you whole lots, Gojira
My cats are major flehmmers. Forget where I learned it.
My cat would have the same look if she sat on a piece of knotted yarn she can’t unravel with grotty hairballs-in-the-making attached to it.
October 3, 2011 at 6:02 pm
Oops, I’m sorry. I hit the wrong thumb and it took away your +mark. I’m new around here. Truly meant to give you a thumbs up.
October 3, 2011 at 5:08 pm
My cat, Spazzy, “flehmenned” one of my farts once. I didn’t mean to fart on her, I didn’t realize she was snuggled up against my butt! (this was when we first adopted our kits, and one of Spazikat’s first times sleeping with us in the bed.) I looked up and saw this lil’ ginger kitten, one paw on my rump, making that snarf face. I’m sorry, I know that’s kinda gross but it was SOOOOO funny XD
October 3, 2011 at 5:59 pm
I knew it was a Flehmen Response, but doggone it, Snarf Face sounds a lot funnier. I’ve seen several of my cats make a Snarf Face after sniffing someone’s shoes when they visit. At the right moment, Snarf Faces are hysterical. 8^)
October 3, 2011 at 6:06 pm
My old cat did that whenever he found something he had “marked” before. I’m thinking that this hairpiece has been pissed on a time or two.
October 3, 2011 at 9:02 pm
We always called it “vapor lock”.
October 3, 2011 at 10:10 pm
I knew the proper term but I have to say I like “snarf face” better.
October 3, 2011 at 8:23 pm
We call it the ‘little lion’ face. When the cats do it near my husband’s socks, I know it’s either time for laundry or cleansing with fire.
October 3, 2011 at 2:17 pm
“I purchased this a few years ago” = I just cut off all my hair except the piece over my ears and now I sewed in into this nifty scarf/lion’s mane!!!
eeewwwww
October 3, 2011 at 6:11 pm
You know… I thought the same thing.
October 3, 2011 at 2:17 pm
Perhaps it’s that the internet (and all its glorious, glorious porn) has ground my imagination down into a nub, but I imagined there would be more ImAgiNaRy clothing included for $80.
October 3, 2011 at 2:17 pm
Somebody should buy it. And throw it back to the pits of hell from whence it came.
October 3, 2011 at 5:56 pm
Wouldn’t we need the fires of Mt. Doom?
October 3, 2011 at 7:25 pm
One does not simply walk into Mordor!
Besides which, I bet the Orcs could smell it coming a mile away.
October 3, 2011 at 8:14 pm
Nah, this is something the Orcs would wear… badly.
October 4, 2011 at 3:42 pm
Or eat!
October 3, 2011 at 2:17 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
October 3, 2011 at 2:18 pm
October 3, 2011 at 2:45 pm
*SNOUTPALM!*
October 3, 2011 at 2:47 pm
He just snorted gazelle all over his ipad.
October 3, 2011 at 3:11 pm
Best facepalm (facepaw) ever!
October 3, 2011 at 2:19 pm
Hair today, goon tomorrow?
October 3, 2011 at 2:41 pm
He that would pun would pick a pocket.
October 3, 2011 at 2:19 pm
Of all the uses that are out there for human hair… THIS is what she decides to do. Well, she this happen in her artistic ability, I guess
October 3, 2011 at 2:20 pm
Her own forehead is giving her the hairy eyeball.
October 3, 2011 at 2:21 pm
This is, well, it’s just awful.
Being used as a component in cheap chinese bread (really!) is a more agreeable use for human hair than this.
October 3, 2011 at 3:42 pm
No – wait – WTF? Hair in BREAD??? On purpose??
October 3, 2011 at 4:00 pm
What?! WHAT??!!
‘splain.
October 3, 2011 at 5:25 pm
Well, it could also be some yummy chicken feathers, duck feathers, cow horns and/or petroleum byproducts.
http://naturalnews.com/032718_L-cysteine_commercial_bread.html
October 3, 2011 at 6:10 pm
Yeah, I have heard that before too. On NPR! Apparently, they break the hair down into enzymes and then use those for food. I tried really hard to wipe that out of my memory after I heard it the first time. Now I need to do it again!
*fires up the mental bulk eraser*
October 3, 2011 at 2:21 pm
What is imaginary clothing? Is that like the Emperor’s New Clothes? I mean, a couple of crafty individuals weaving a story of bull shit and selling it… yep, that is exactly what is going on here.
October 3, 2011 at 3:12 pm
When I saw “imaginary clothing” in the title I was a little afraid to scroll down for fear she’d be wearing the scarf and nothing but the scarf.
October 3, 2011 at 5:42 pm
Ditto.
October 3, 2011 at 2:21 pm
We have successfully controlled our first human host. Through her we will spread our children throughout the world by selling chinsy necklaces made of hair. No one will stop us now!
October 3, 2011 at 2:55 pm
So, I’m listening to the radio while I “clean” (read Regretsy), and this is the funniest comment of the thread for me because it looks like that bug is dancing to this godawful Britney Spears song (the one where she says “shame on me” over and over interspersed with whistling). True story.
October 3, 2011 at 3:08 pm
So THAT’s the target demographic for that nightmare of a song.
October 3, 2011 at 3:28 pm
Oh Lawd I’m having awful flashbacks to when me and my sister had the world’s worst infestation of lice and my dad just thought it would be a great idea to stick one of them under my little kiddy microscope (that came with a fun tv screen so everyone could share in on the traumatizing fun).
October 3, 2011 at 5:57 pm
Now I can’t stop scratching…
October 3, 2011 at 2:21 pm
The cat appears to be saying “I killed this for you but it wouldn’t fit in your shoe”.
October 3, 2011 at 3:14 pm
I killed this for you
It won’t fit in your shoe
Put it on Etsy!
That’s what you should do!
October 3, 2011 at 2:22 pm
She went the wrong direction with that description. Try it using the cat photograph and writing it up thusly:
Vegan-Pagan-Steampunk Post-Impressionist Era 1970′s Porn Vagina Sculpture
Ahh, we all remember the 70′s for such great contributions to society as the jump suit, John Travolta (before he was fat), and Pornographic Cinema. As a tribute to the bygone era of hairy snatch, I sculpted this larger-than-life porn-vagina using horse-tail hair and Oprah Winfrey’s stocking garter. Crafted with love, and sprayed for lice.
October 3, 2011 at 2:26 pm
Even the cat looks like he’s saying “bitch are you serious”.
October 3, 2011 at 2:26 pm
“for a beauty shop” A beauty shop? A Beauty shop. Is it named “The Black Hole of Beauty”? She might need to rethink her marketing strategy.
October 3, 2011 at 2:28 pm
ImAgiNaRy ClOthiNG — What does it mean?? Is it purely pretend, like the Emperor’s New Clothes? Is it dress-up costumes for little kids? I keep thinking there must be a code in the seemingly random capitals, but IANRCONG doesn’t mean anything to me, either.
October 3, 2011 at 5:01 pm
GrainCon? Ian R. Cong?
October 3, 2011 at 2:28 pm
The real head-scratcher for me is that she is gleefully wearing someone’s nasty, nasty human hair, yet she is being surprisingly coy about her own amrpit farm. What kind of dirty hippy fails to show off her scraggy badge of wombynhood?
October 3, 2011 at 3:14 pm
Head scratcher… that’s a good one!
October 3, 2011 at 11:20 pm
Armpit hair is a sign of wombynhood? Men also have armit hair.
October 4, 2011 at 1:00 am
Also armPIT hair.
October 3, 2011 at 2:28 pm
Because nothing classes up human hair like cheap looking bright turquoise yarn.
-Or-
Nothing classes up a little bit of turquoise crochet like human hair.
Nope, neither one works.
October 3, 2011 at 2:29 pm
I went into her shop looking for more fuckery (and yeah, cat pictures) and now I am a bit disturbed. I think I kinda dig this chick in a “if I ever take up smoking pot” kinda way. There’s a bitchen my-age chick there who would probably force feed me some vegan dish that was actually totally nom-nommy.
or I’m wrong. Maybe it’s time to set up a pool. X hours until the email comes in with extra credit for guessing either:
OMG! Thanks!
or
OMG! My ability! ;(
October 3, 2011 at 2:35 pm
She does have that fire in the eyes and acne-based “Je ne sais quoi” that makes me want a VW camper van.
October 3, 2011 at 3:11 pm
See, that look doesn’t say “Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir” so much as “Ai-je quitter le gaz sur?”
October 4, 2011 at 5:33 pm
“Silvie ! Comment allez-vous ? Comment cette élaboration de substance de poésie est-elle pour vous?”
October 3, 2011 at 5:49 pm
I’m thinking I’d have to smoke a LOT of pot to make any of this look appealing.
Either that or it would scare the hell out of me even more.
October 3, 2011 at 11:21 pm
She’s a cute girl. The scarf, however, is fucking scary.
October 3, 2011 at 2:30 pm
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October 3, 2011 at 4:04 pm
Then it’s working.
October 3, 2011 at 4:05 pm
Regretsy, I mean.
October 3, 2011 at 2:31 pm
This could be worse…She could have made pasties.
October 3, 2011 at 3:15 pm
or a merkin.
October 4, 2011 at 5:37 pm
Ils ont changé ma merkin, ma!
October 3, 2011 at 8:25 pm
Quiet! You’ll give them IDEAS.
October 3, 2011 at 2:32 pm
If the shop is called notchroadfaries what’s with the tinker, toad stuff? Are those the only two creatures that would be willing to wear that thing?
October 4, 2011 at 7:24 am
Maybe it’s the old counting rhyme. Tinker, toad, soldier, choad.
October 3, 2011 at 2:32 pm
ETSY I DON’T EVEN UNDERSTAND ANY MORE.
I cannot think of snark for this. It just seems so self-edident that it shouldn’t exist, I can’t actually think of anything.
the only thing in my head is that the woman who made and modelled this piece of… crapt looks like one of my aunts ex girlfriends.
October 3, 2011 at 2:32 pm
“Bad Queen of Narnia” is probably not a big request at the Bunny Ranch.
But then again, what do I know about theology?
October 3, 2011 at 2:33 pm
Whole Foods Christmas Parties are actually a lot like keggers…depending upon the region of course. Chicago proper is ditchweed & miller lite whereas the outer (richer) suburbs smell like White Russian & rootbeer schnapps. The dude would be proud.
October 3, 2011 at 11:23 pm
I read that as ‘depending on the religion of course’, and was thinking, well, Christmas, SOME form of Christianity probably.
October 3, 2011 at 2:33 pm
$79.00? Talk about scalping your customers…
October 3, 2011 at 2:34 pm
Time-out (please) – when and where did Bronc post his rules for posting? They started with “no Firsts”. I can’t find them. He was filling in for HK but I can’t remember why – was it her weekend in Vegas? Pain meds? Knee surgery? Gah! Help me!
October 3, 2011 at 2:40 pm
Basically, if it’s an internet cliché — first, threw up in my mouth, lol, meh, wev, brain bleach — that sort of thing, avoid it.
In other words, put in a little effort to be original, and you should be okay.
October 3, 2011 at 2:43 pm
I guess listing some examples triggers automatic moderation!
Basically, if you avoid any internet clichés, textspeak, and lolspeak, and try to come up with an original comment, you’ll be okay.
October 3, 2011 at 2:57 pm
Thanks!
October 3, 2011 at 2:58 pm
http://cf4l.regretsy.com/2011/06/02/members-only-49/
October 3, 2011 at 3:43 pm
*cough* The first rule of cf4l….
October 3, 2011 at 2:36 pm
I wish it was imaginary.
But I guess it’s nice to know that when I NEED to spend $79 on some stranger’s dander ridden OLD hair I can just hit up this girl (wombyn?).
October 3, 2011 at 2:37 pm
I would wear the hell out of that, but it seems I’m in the minority. However, it is too expensive for my fetish item budget in this category. It doesn’t strike me as difficult to wash, but I bet you could request the seller do so before sending and it wouldn’t be no thing.
October 3, 2011 at 11:00 pm
Yay, small minority! In some sort of costume/fancy dress setting, a scarf with real hair and quality yarn could be cool. If it came from somewhere I trusted to be clean.
October 3, 2011 at 2:41 pm
Just why?
As I get older I keep asking myself this question alot!
October 3, 2011 at 2:46 pm
That’s not how you wear a Merkin.
October 3, 2011 at 3:04 pm
It’s an opera length merkin. Very cutting edge.
October 3, 2011 at 2:48 pm
Just think of all the fake moustaches you could make with that! Of course, that was a joke. You should NOT put that thing anywhere near your face, hair or crotch, unless you enjoy lice and crabs.
October 3, 2011 at 2:55 pm
I’d hit it.
And then I’d pull over to drag it to the side of the road.
October 3, 2011 at 3:02 pm
You know, if I really was a person who had “everything,” I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t appreciate this lion’s mane scarf. Now, if you gave me a real lion, maybe I’d be impressed. I could pretend the lion was Aslan, and when I got bored, I could use it as a sort of do-it-yourself scarf kit.
October 3, 2011 at 3:02 pm
It’s the look on the cat’s face that makes it perfect. Somewhere between “WTF” and “you cannot be serious”.
October 4, 2011 at 5:27 pm
The cat’s face says “It’s in heat,” to me.
October 3, 2011 at 3:03 pm
Well, at least she admits that you have to use your imagination to consider it “clothing.”
October 3, 2011 at 3:11 pm
Now, I’ll admit…I make things out of human hair. Some pretty cool things if I do say so myself! But then….I also don’t smoke skunk weed. My human-hair wares smell like the good stuff.
Is it inappropriate to put “NOT Produced in a Smoke-Free Environment” on your listing?
October 3, 2011 at 3:12 pm
but….. but….. the jacket made of towels.
{i apologize for being mean, she did take time & put work into it but, so help me, i am speechless.}
October 3, 2011 at 3:18 pm
that’s an elf coat made of towels. I actually kind of like that. I’d wear it to the mall when I was shopping with my teenage daughter, so she’d never make me shop with her again.
But my mother used to make us matching beach cover ups from towels when I was a kid. I think it was a “thing” in the 60′s.
October 3, 2011 at 3:30 pm
Strikes me as something Dobby would love.
October 3, 2011 at 3:57 pm
Look like a perfect outfit to wear cleaning the house – very multipurpose.
October 3, 2011 at 4:51 pm
It looks like you could just lean up against furniture while you walk past to dust it. And then lay down on the hardwood floor and roll around to dust that. Much more fun than pushing a Swiffer around.
October 3, 2011 at 5:49 pm
this ones way nicer.
it was just the idea of upchuckcycling old used towels that got to me.
i mean, i have no idea where those towels have been.
{ps. oh, that & the color too.}
October 3, 2011 at 3:19 pm
Wowee wow-wow.
October 3, 2011 at 3:19 pm
that is hurting my eyeballs
October 3, 2011 at 3:32 pm
It’s really culturally insensitive that she constantly uses the word “Gypsy” to describe what is essentially textile diarrhea.
October 3, 2011 at 5:08 pm
Speaking of diarrhea..
October 4, 2011 at 5:41 pm
Spent too much time with the Keebler Elves again, huh?
October 3, 2011 at 9:34 pm
Textile Diarrhea – running to the top of the great band name list.
October 3, 2011 at 3:34 pm
I have to admit this elf coat is kinda neat in a wtf when would you use that sort of way.
Though I missed the part in Lord of the Rings were the elves upcycled old towels, but hell with all the smoking and hippy songs I skipped over, it could be intere.
October 3, 2011 at 3:37 pm
*in there, holy crap, this is why you don’t cram write essays the night before they’re due, boys and girls
October 3, 2011 at 3:48 pm
At least it’s absorbent?
October 3, 2011 at 4:23 pm
I am impressed by this piece. I don’t like it, but it probably took a great deal of time and sewing skills, not to mention a healthy dose of poor judgement.
The gal seems to have plenty of both time on her hands and poor judgement. The perfect combination to run an Etsy shop.
October 3, 2011 at 7:21 pm
There’s an etsy seller who makes some really cool-looking ones made of old clothes:
http://www.etsy.com/shop/EnlightenedPlatypus?section_id=7011204
October 4, 2011 at 3:54 pm
Wow! Now THERE is a seller with some color sense!
October 3, 2011 at 8:27 pm
She looks so damn happy about it, too.
October 3, 2011 at 3:16 pm
I love how her title says “imaginary clothing.” If only…
October 3, 2011 at 3:20 pm
For the person who has EVERYTHING…except her own hair.
October 3, 2011 at 3:24 pm
It’s an interesting concept but it’s really a shame that something that is so valuable was made to look so cheap.
October 3, 2011 at 3:25 pm
I hear in China, wigmakers who use real hair make the hair blond by peeing on it. I hope this doesn’t give ant Etsians any ideas.
October 3, 2011 at 3:27 pm
Any Etsians really,not just the ants that sell on there. : D
October 3, 2011 at 3:34 pm
There are two things that really skeeve me out: other people’s feet/socks/shoes and related items, and other people’s hair when not attached currently to the original scalp.
‘Scuse me while I yak.
October 3, 2011 at 3:37 pm
Am I the only one who thinks that might be a major booger in her nostril? Inquiring minds need to know?
October 3, 2011 at 4:39 pm
No, I see it too.
I was just coming to say how at least if you choose to wear this hideous scalp-necklace, no one will notice when you have boogers (or coke remnants??) up yo nose.
October 3, 2011 at 5:23 pm
I hadn’t seen that, but now that you pointed it out I can’t not see it. A merkin necklace and a nose pearl…no wonder the cat looks like it’s ready to start punching hippies.
October 3, 2011 at 8:33 pm
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October 3, 2011 at 3:42 pm
Probably not a good idea to sell anything made of human hair anyways. Some witch could purchase it and use it to curse the hair’s original owner.
October 3, 2011 at 3:45 pm
That poor cat was clearly in the middle of protesting that photo.
I wouldn’t want to be caught sitting there either.
October 3, 2011 at 3:58 pm
I thought he was saying “I killed it!”
October 3, 2011 at 3:51 pm
I thought the cat picture was a fabulous Photoshop…
Imagine my surprise when I clicked through to the listing. WHY would you include that in your listing??
October 3, 2011 at 4:19 pm
She should have displayed it on her HUGE lot of “crystals” (i.e. bad rock collection) that she sells for $25 with $20 shipping.
I keep thinking, does this kind of stuff really sell? Because I could crank out a helluva lot of crap with silly-ass descriptions in a hurry.
October 3, 2011 at 4:24 pm
You know how cats will sometimes sniff a dead thing then make a weird face? That cat is making the face.
October 3, 2011 at 4:25 pm
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October 3, 2011 at 7:00 pm
To be fair, she probably meant that she bought it from a beauty shop, so the hair was overpriced, over-processed, and not in sufficient quantity to make a wig.
But this reminds me that I’d like suggestions for where to donate this beast:
I refuse to donate to Locks of Love, because of how exclusive and WASTEFUL they are. I’d rather see my hair go to make a wig for an adult cancer victim or something, with a charity that actually values its donations. Kids get enough attention by virtue of everyone wanting to “help the children,” while other people get ignored, and as an adult who suffered the social stigma of not having hair for quite a while, I feel very strongly about who gets this lot.
October 3, 2011 at 7:36 pm
I hear ya. Locks of Love loses points with me for not doing anything to counter its image of helping the poor lil’ cancer kids. They rarely if ever help cancer kids — because chemo hair loss is considered temporary. They do work with alopecia patients, but the fact is they get far more hair donations than they’ll ever use. Most of it gets chucked or sold for doll hair.
OK, off soapbox. You asked where to donate: I have heard good things about Pantene’s Beautiful Lengths program.
BTW, it’s been a long time since I read the Narnia stories, but did the bad queen actually SCALP Aslan?
October 3, 2011 at 8:31 pm
I seem to recall that happening in the books, or at least his mane being cut off.
Also, seconding the avoid-LoL recommendation.
October 3, 2011 at 9:37 pm
Cut off, not scalped.
October 3, 2011 at 11:07 pm
Wish I had known about that program before I cut all mine. LoL didn’t want it because it had been dyed, but it was pretty healthy. wasteful.
October 3, 2011 at 11:48 pm
I think most programs (including PBL) don’t want it if it’s been dyed, because they treat and dye it themselves so they have matched batches. Something about hair that’s been chemically treated absorbing dye at a different rate than “virgin” hair, I think, which is why they just pitch dyed stuff.
It’s still incredibly wasteful, as is pitching hair that has grey in it (because people with grey hair NEVER get cancer and want a grey or mixed wig, ofc). Hair is not just one shade, after all, I don’t see why they couldn’t mix hair that has similar traits to create a more natural-looking mix of colors, so long as the hair is healthy. Hell, mine has everything from strawberry blond to auburn in it. It kills me to know it’ll probably all get dyed brown or black.
October 3, 2011 at 9:19 pm
How about Pantene’s “Beautiful Lengths”. They give FREE wigs to women living with cancer. If my hair was long enough this is where I would donate it. http://www.pantene.com/en-US/beautiful-lengths-refresh/Pages/default.aspx
October 3, 2011 at 9:25 pm
They’re one of the groups that I’ve been looking into, so I’m happy that at least a couple people here have recommended them. The fact that they give out the wigs for free is definitely a plus, because honestly, the whole charging thing that LoL does really gets under my skin. And when you’re providing wigs for cancer sufferers, they already have enough expenses to worry about.
I’ve got another 24″ or so hanging off the back of my head that I’m thinking about donating somewhere after fall and winter are over, when I’m done using it to keep my neck warm and have gotten another inch or two of growth on it. So, I think I may wait and send it all together, so that it hopefully gets batched together since it’ll be the same texture and so on.
October 4, 2011 at 3:59 pm
I adore the color of your hair! It will make some lucky person very happy.
October 5, 2011 at 11:28 am
Oddly enough, I have two “locks” of hair from my own head just like that, except much longer and thicker. I’ve just been trying to find the right place to donate to because I’ve given up on Locks of Love. My hair is super thick and grows like weeds, so I grow it out and every 2-3 years I chop it all off to about chin length, and I end up cutting at the very least 14 inches off. I figure that that since my hair is so thick and grows so fast, I might as well do some good with it while it’s still nice. But the local salons no longer work with Locks of Love, and I’m thinking of maybe donating to perhaps a group that works with women with severe alopecia, to the point where they have little to no head hair and have to wear wigs. You never really hear anything about those kinds of illnesses, but their hair doesn’t grow back, because with cancer, if you survive, it goes into remission and your hair will grow back once you stop the chemo treatments.
October 3, 2011 at 7:28 pm
If there were a cancer patient out there I really hated I would buy them this scarf.
October 3, 2011 at 8:24 pm
I really, really wish that I could donate some of my hair. However, it’s probably about 25-30% gray and I haven’t been able to find anyone that will take it. It’s sad, really. I think it’s beautiful with its silvery highlights (I got my Dad’s shimmery silver, thick, wavy Italian hair), but apparently it’s not good enough for anyone else’s wig. Grrrrr . . .
October 4, 2011 at 4:43 am
I worked for 5 years in a cancer research hospital. That hair is def. long enough for a basic short-cut wig
SO I get down-thumbed for being a caring human. Cool.
October 3, 2011 at 4:26 pm
Gotta love a gal with sideburns. Scarf, what scarf?
October 3, 2011 at 4:27 pm
It’s like that season of Project Runway all over again, except with hippies instead of fashion.
October 3, 2011 at 4:30 pm
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October 3, 2011 at 5:03 pm
Shouldn’t the title be “The Lyin’, The Which, and the WTF”?
October 3, 2011 at 5:06 pm
Demi bush!
October 3, 2011 at 5:54 pm
I have to say, I really like her antique Steampunk bottles:
Lot of 5 Antique Glass Bottles Steampunk Ocean Blue and Lavender
October 3, 2011 at 9:49 pm
No gears or octopus??? WTF?
October 3, 2011 at 11:37 pm
You put yer pickled octopus in the bottle, silly.
October 3, 2011 at 11:53 pm
Of course – must be the late hour.
October 3, 2011 at 6:01 pm
Oooh, and she has a FAMOUS crystal ball! Belonging to the High Priestess Saielle who is . . . um . . . her, apparently.
Actually, it’s very pretty, but I don’t seem to have three grand to spare on it . . .
October 3, 2011 at 6:04 pm
“Please do not try to purchase this item if you are not a serious practitioner.”
Now I’m really curious to know what would happen if I “tried” to purchase it. Maybe the PayPal transaction would go awry and cause my computer to implode. Or something involving zombies – I’m too tired to come up with anything creative there.
October 3, 2011 at 9:51 pm
You find yourself with a blue vagoo around your neck that would never come off.
October 3, 2011 at 10:57 pm
Read the description. I think I’m going to leave my crystal ball in the elements and let it be cleansed by the moon, the stars, the wind and snow. I shall post it on etsy for $2000… and make a damn profit of $1,950 or so. Same size. I won’t have to dust it anymore…
October 3, 2011 at 11:13 pm
There was a rock shop called Richardson’s Rock Ranch I visited in Oregon 5 years ago, just off the 97. Among other things, they made perfect rock spheres from an inch to a foot across. We took a tour, they showed us their machinery.
Their spheres were beautiful, and I’m pretty sure you could buy them without practicing magick.
October 4, 2011 at 5:50 pm
The “vintage crystals” on the purple velvet:
http://www.chandelierparts.com/112fullcutalmondteardrop-a1a.aspx
I buy identical “crystals” at Home Depot for about $5 for a card of five.
October 3, 2011 at 6:32 pm
I don’t blame that cat for looking so worried. If real human hair was used for that scarf to give it a lion look, what muse would necessitate the use of cat hair? A hamster motif?
October 3, 2011 at 7:14 pm
The cat’s saying, “Dude, you sure coughed up a big hairball…”
October 3, 2011 at 7:57 pm
In other news, Tinker Toad (the Etsy shop owner in question) just added me to her Circle on Etsy! Coincidence? I think not!
October 4, 2011 at 11:57 am
Me too! I don’t know what to think.
October 5, 2011 at 5:58 am
Yeah, wtf is up with that? I’m not even a seller – only a buyer???
October 3, 2011 at 8:56 pm
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October 4, 2011 at 10:48 am
Why are we thumbs downing this brilliant comment?! It’s a fact that if a photo of a woman (any and all women) exists on the internet, some guy has masturbated to it.
October 3, 2011 at 9:05 pm
She needs to get that blue eye infection looked at.
October 3, 2011 at 9:40 pm
Does no one realize that we have finally found LEVEL FIVE CAT?
October 3, 2011 at 9:45 pm
That cat deserves an honorary promotion to Level 4.
October 3, 2011 at 9:46 pm
Not only is the item shockingly fugly, but did she not check the picture? I mean, I know that hippies aren’t known for being fastidious, but if you are going to do an “up-nose” shot, you should blow out the schmutz first.
October 3, 2011 at 10:06 pm
i think that’s the end of her nose ring.
October 3, 2011 at 9:55 pm
Hmm, how should I dress today? Artsy, sophisticated, casual? Wait, I’ve got the perfect idea; I’ll dress like a fetus emerging from an untrimmed blue vagina! Perfect!
October 3, 2011 at 10:52 pm
*cough* blue waffle *cough*
October 3, 2011 at 9:57 pm
dear white girls:
STOP FUCKING WEARING BINDIS
JESUS GODDAMN CHRIST.
October 3, 2011 at 10:00 pm
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October 4, 2011 at 12:50 am
No, they look FINE if you’re Hindu. It’s just everyone else that looks like a complete dork wearing them.
October 3, 2011 at 10:39 pm
You are right, it does nothing for her.
October 3, 2011 at 11:26 pm
Is it wrong that the scarf upsets me less than the fact that she refers to Jadis, the White Witch, as ‘the bad queen of Narnia’?
October 4, 2011 at 4:59 am
Surprised it took someone this long to LOLCat it.
October 4, 2011 at 9:19 am
I still want to know how you can see the ImAgiNaRy clothes?
October 4, 2011 at 9:30 am
DoEs It MaKe ThE PrOdUcT MoRe ApPealIng If YoU SpElL It OuT LiKe ThIs?
October 4, 2011 at 11:00 am
I have never understood it myself. Is it supposed to be an attention getter, to make your listing stand out from the rest? If so, I have to say that I purposefully do NOT click on listings written that way. It’s completely unprofessional.
October 4, 2011 at 5:54 pm
“…I purposefully do NOT click on listings written that way.”
I gave you a thumbs-up. I quoted you. If there were more I could do to show how much I agree with you, I would do it.
October 4, 2011 at 9:48 am
My pussy and your pussy sitting in the grass now.
My pussy says to your pussy
I’m going to cry over this mess now.
Talk about hey now,
hey meow,
hey now,
hey meow.
Messy, messy, pussy.
October 4, 2011 at 10:43 am
I think the same eagle that cries glitter tears also took a glitter shit on her forehead.
October 4, 2011 at 10:57 am
Hmmm, seems to be a red thumb vigilante making the rounds today . . .
October 4, 2011 at 5:55 pm
They got you. I fixed it.
October 4, 2011 at 11:14 am
October 5, 2011 at 2:34 pm
wow – i thought the cat and the hair was a photo shopped HK creation – imagine my shock on the Etsy listing page
October 6, 2011 at 3:01 am
I do believe the cat and the dirt are improvements. Now if she REALLY wanted disgusting, she would have photographed it on that pile of marshmallow catvomit that showed up a year or two ago. That’d finally explain where that hair came from. at least.