Let’s say your two greatest loves are cigars and car parts. I mean, they probably are anyway, so this should be an easy visualization.

And let’s say that one day, while you’re smoking a cigar and replacing your Framm air filter, you suddenly think, “Wow, this would be so much easier to smoke if I attached it to a distributor cap.”

I know, right? So much easier than say, picking it up with your fingers.

And as you’re sitting there, trying to smoke a cigar attached to a 10 pound distributor cap full of BBs, it hits you…

I am onto something.

DON’T FORGET THE LADIES

If you read this site regularly, and really, why wouldn’t you, then you already know I have a thing about balaclavas.

It started when this showed up in my mailbox:

I was so entranced by these that actually asked you to make some for me, thinking I’d just recreate the image with a few friends. Which I did.

I’m not sure we were quite as drunk as the models in the original photo, but I bet it was close.

I sort of thought that would be the end of my fascination with balaclavas, but it wasn’t. Not by a long shot. I don’t know what it is about these things, but I find myself constantly looking for them now. I’m only truly happy when I find one that makes me crap my pants with fear and longing.

Fortunately, there are plenty of them.

Here are some pieces by my newest obsession; Italian artist Aldo Lanzini. His balaclavas have the strange effect of making me very cozy and extremely uncomfortable, all at the same time.

Before you dismiss these as being totally impractical, consider how fun it would be to put one on and go wash your car in the driveway. Or if you live in an apartment, you could just keep one by the door for when that kid comes by to sell you a subscription to People.

- Visit Mr. Lanzini’s web site here