SHOPPING IS FUN AGAIN
The April’s Army charity shop on Etsy is once again open and ready for business!
Well actually, it’s been open since Monday, but I forgot to tell you.
I have a good excuse, though. I got some new headache medication, and I have been high as a kite for three days. True story.
I had no idea this would happen. The doctor didn’t warn me at all He said, “Take this for two weeks,” and I took one, and I came home, and I’ve been tripping balls since Monday. I looked up the side effects online, and one of them was “a feeling of being high.” So… it’s working.
The great thing is that even though I forgot to pimp it, we’ve already had 174 sales! It’s great and everything, but unfortunately, you missed this.
And this.
Oh shit. You missed this one too.
The good news is, there are still lots of cool things for sale, and your purchase helps a very special Etsy seller in need.
Now let me back up and tell you what this is all about.
April’s Army is one of the largest teams on Etsy, and is comprised entirely of Regretsy members.
During the last week of each month, participating sellers set aside at least one handmade item to benefit Regretsy’s charity fund. ALL profits go directly to the person in need.
Your generous suport of these sales – as well as other Regretsy fundraisers – has helped bring our total raised for charitable purposes to over $120,000.00 since December, 2009. I hope you’re proud of yourselves, you heartless bastards.
This month, we’re raising money to benefit Etsy seller Barbara.
Barbara was diagnosed with breast cancer in August, and is about to undergo a double mastectomy and reconstruction. These are long, difficult surgeries, and she’s facing a hard recovery and many weeks with no income.
But all she wanted from us was a mention, so she could clean out her stores before her hospitalization. She wanted to take the pressure off her husband, a disabled Veteran.
There was something about this simple request that really moved me. So many April’s Army recipients are in terrible, scary situations, yet they always seem to be focused on helping the people around them. Said Barbara, “It’s scary to be facing a 9 hour surgery, but I’m not going to burden my family with that. I’m their support person!”
Frankly, I thought we could do better for her, and her family. A lot better. Not only because Barbara is in need of financial and emotional support, but also as a way to thank her husband for his service.
If you would like to be a part of this effort, there are three ways you can help.
1. Visit Barbara’s Etsy store, or her Etsy supply store, and purchase something directly from her.
2. Make a contribution via Barbara’s web site.
3. Visit April’s Army on Etsy. Everything in the store this month was made and donated specifically to benefit Barbara. A great group of talented sellers have given so much of themselves, and there are some incredible things for sale.
Even if you can’t afford to buy anything or don’t see something you want, please take a moment to visit these stores and show some love for these sellers. They have been unbelievably generous with their time and talent. And you can always share the link to the April’s Army Etsy store.
And click here to like April’s Army on Facebook, and get news, updates and sneak peeks of upcoming inventory!
Thanks to everyone for their kindness and support.
September 28, 2011 at 4:50 pm
I’m really sad there’s nothing with a bird on it for me to buy. Also my bank account has like $13 in it. Hopefully there will be stuff available on Saturday when my paycheck hits.
Actually, no, I hope it sells out before then!
I HOPE FOR CONFLICTING THINGS.
And now I’m sad.
September 28, 2011 at 4:52 pm
Yay shopping!
Yay for 1005 certainty that this is all handmade!
September 28, 2011 at 4:53 pm
1000%, Cheezus.
September 28, 2011 at 4:54 pm
is 1005 some new code thing?
September 28, 2011 at 4:57 pm
It’s code for don’t post and talk on the phone at the same time.
September 28, 2011 at 5:09 pm
Ain’t that the 1005 truth.
September 28, 2011 at 4:54 pm
Awesomesauce! A great contribution to a great cause ~ touche
September 28, 2011 at 4:55 pm
Is it wrong to be secretly happy that April has twice wanted stuff I got? And people accuse me of having no taste!!!
September 28, 2011 at 4:55 pm
I think I love that Frankenstein dress-up set.
September 28, 2011 at 4:56 pm
A great contribution to an excellent cause! I don’t know what happened to my other post
September 28, 2011 at 4:57 pm
I am truly devastated at missing the Spock toque. I would’ve worn the shit out of that this winter.
September 28, 2011 at 5:15 pm
I think she has more in her shop!
September 28, 2011 at 6:05 pm
Sadly, only in child/baby size. I’m a fat jealous loser with a giant head.
I wonder if my kid is still young enough not to be embarrassed by my nerddom?
September 28, 2011 at 6:19 pm
I want to buy them for my kid, too, and I haven’t had a kid yet.
September 28, 2011 at 6:20 pm
I just sent the shop’s link to a few friends, asking if they know any baby (or child-size) Trekkies.
September 28, 2011 at 7:48 pm
My kids like Star WARS. This would not be acceptable to them.
September 29, 2011 at 8:05 am
Maybe if you ask she can do one with the Leia cinnamon bun hair? Actually, I know a bunch of people that would wear that…
September 29, 2011 at 1:22 pm
I do R2D2 hats as well!
-Becca, FiveCornersDesign
September 28, 2011 at 7:56 pm
I am sure she’d be more than happy to make you whatever size(s) you need/want! Convo her! http://www.etsy.com/shop/FiveCornersDesign
September 29, 2011 at 1:21 pm
YES, everyone, there are more Spock hats available, always! I didn’t realize the listing had sold out on the last sale, the listing is now renewed! Thanks for all the love
September 29, 2011 at 1:21 pm
(also, durr, this is Becca of FiveCornersDesign, obviously)
September 28, 2011 at 5:01 pm
I missed the deadline to donate because I procrastinate and I’m a horrible person. But I’m donating any way. I’m putting up my Cigar Box print apron for donation. The money will be donated directly via pay pal.
http://www.etsy.com/listing/35161756/vintage-cigar-box-print-full-apron-with
September 28, 2011 at 5:40 pm
Hmm. That would go nicely with my new distributor cap…
September 28, 2011 at 7:10 pm
but is it a bb filled cigar holder?
September 28, 2011 at 5:01 pm
Where are the fucking rabbits? Were they sold?
September 28, 2011 at 5:13 pm
Now, now, you don’t have to call the rabbits names. It’s not worth getting your blood pressure up about it.
Oh, they’re fucking. Got it.
September 28, 2011 at 6:04 pm
Yah, they sold within the first hour, I think, and have already been shipped.
September 28, 2011 at 7:10 pm
Dear sweet lord…I WOULD SELL AN ORGAN (well, someone’s organ) FOR THOSE FUCKING RABBITS! WHO HAS THEM?
I could say “fuck like bunnies” and have a visual aid right there! Heavens…the possibilities are endless.
September 29, 2011 at 5:54 am
Yeah, I hope the seller makes more of those.
September 29, 2011 at 7:18 pm
And if the seller DOES make more, I hope something will be done to make us aware of it, so that I can have a pair of statue rabbits fucking to go along with all our (live) rabbits (who are neutered and so not fucking, although that does not stop one male from trying to get a blowjob now and then).
September 30, 2011 at 9:09 am
I hate to make you cry glitter tears, but they’re vintage:
HOWEVER, there are several superb ceramicists in April’s Army, and perhapsmear one of them might be up for the challenge of replicating them.
Post your want in the new iWANT section of the forums to find out! http://forums.regretsy.com/forum.php?id=10
September 28, 2011 at 5:07 pm
I want to know who made the knit Vulcan hat. My kids NEED those to keep their little heads warm this winter!!
September 28, 2011 at 6:15 pm
http://www.etsy.com/shop/FiveCornersDesign
She has only baby/child-size now, but I suspect she’ll be making more.
They are so cool!
September 28, 2011 at 6:51 pm
You, my friend, are awesome! Thanks!
September 29, 2011 at 1:23 pm
There are Adult hats for sale again! (I didn’t realize the listing had totally sold out, d’oh!)
-Becca, FiveCornersDesign
September 28, 2011 at 5:12 pm
I am personally devastated at missing the Twin Peaks can cozies. I think I’d have given my left foot for a set of those (considering I’m kind of broke and own nothing else of value.)
I’m a fat loser jealous of the person which got those
September 28, 2011 at 8:02 pm
There is another set in their shop! http://www.etsy.com/listing/81215954/twin-peaks-beer-cozy-6-pack-for-12oz-can
Maybe someone you know wants to know what you’d like for your birthday?
September 28, 2011 at 5:14 pm
I need to know what that headache medication is. You know, for… intellectual curiosity. Yeah, let’s go with that.
September 28, 2011 at 5:31 pm
I am sad I am a poor no-money-having college student, because I’d totally buy that amazing Towel Mike watercolor in a minute
and rub it all over my naked bodySeptember 28, 2011 at 5:37 pm
Another case of perfect avatar/comment synergy.
September 28, 2011 at 5:50 pm
I fully believe Zapp would switch teams for Towel Mike.
September 28, 2011 at 5:31 pm
Boobacleese The Valiant needs a good home!
September 28, 2011 at 5:50 pm
I have no idea what the hell that is, but part of me loves it.
September 28, 2011 at 6:22 pm
She’s a Boob Buddy… She’s there for whenever you need a Breast Friend!
Damn. I missed that inspiration for my description… Eh… First contribution…
September 28, 2011 at 6:48 pm
Ah yes, this is from the porn version of Avatar.
September 28, 2011 at 6:51 pm
I will neither confirm, nor deny the presence of an Alien Fleshlight…
September 29, 2011 at 5:55 am
I will confirm the existence of an Avatar fleshlight…
September 28, 2011 at 5:33 pm
As usual, I am flat broke and po’. So I am pimpin’ it all on Facebook and Twitter. Guerrilla marketing is what I do. I sincerely hope it helps.
September 28, 2011 at 5:34 pm
Oooh, love the pink crochet bracelet!!!
September 28, 2011 at 5:36 pm
I’m so glad I checked on Monday, although even then lots of stuff had been taken already!
April, I do hope the meds have been helping your migraines instead of just making you go all WOOooo00o0o. (Unless that is part of the helping, of course
September 28, 2011 at 6:52 pm
That’s the best part.
September 28, 2011 at 5:57 pm
Emergency! I can’t find the featured ‘Speshul’ necklace! Dammit! I need to order about a dozen of them!
September 28, 2011 at 7:42 pm
Here you go, ailishsmom (I’ve linked the photo):
I am sure hexmex would be more than happy to fill your need! There is a link to her shop in the listing
September 28, 2011 at 9:32 pm
You are my new best friend.
September 29, 2011 at 9:56 am
Aww, I feel so speshul.
September 28, 2011 at 6:08 pm
I love the vintage snark magnet so much that I bought extra to give as gifts.
Best way to get rid of kitchen odors? Eat out
The image is vintage, but the snark is timeless.
September 28, 2011 at 6:49 pm
Hmmm… So you’re saying if I do that, she’ll clean the kitchen?
September 28, 2011 at 7:04 pm
Try it and see.
Or, try it and then clean the kitchen yourself. Who knows what you’ll get in return….
September 29, 2011 at 9:58 am
Yet another case of perfect avatar/comment synergy, GranoblasticMan!
September 28, 2011 at 6:20 pm
What the crap? No Spock hat left for me? But, like, we’re buddies over on Ravelry! I guess I’ll just have to knit my own hat and give you money for the pattern…
Someday, when I finish my holiday knitting, I will get my shop restocked and donate something. Or if my kid stops breaking stuff that I need to replace and I have money, I may buys something.
September 29, 2011 at 1:26 pm
Wait, we are?? FYI, there are more Spock hats available on Etsy now, and the pattern has always been available as a free Ravelry download
-BeccaTheTrekkie, FiveCornersDesign
September 28, 2011 at 6:21 pm
I finally ponied up and bought something.
Barbara sells very cute CUPCAKE trinket boxes. Nieces’ Christmas = done. I’m just imagining their crestfallen little faces when they realize that they are ceramic… Should I fill them with pennies or butterscotch hard candy to soften the blow?
September 28, 2011 at 7:39 pm
The boxes are AMAZEBALLS. I got one as a gift for my sister and it’s SUPER adorable!
September 28, 2011 at 6:26 pm
I am SO envious of the person or persons who bought the terrific “They Died of Communism Ghostly Graveyard Prints” (I think 2 were sold). It’s so well done (and oh, how I loooooove ghosts), but add Level 4 Cat and Hellephant? It just became fantastic.
September 28, 2011 at 8:05 pm
But wait, there’s more! The little boy is also holding the chicken in a poncho!
September 29, 2011 at 6:41 pm
September 28, 2011 at 6:29 pm
I’m eagerly awaiting the arrival of my Level 4 Cat Dreamraper. I’m hoping, since the antidepressant I’m on already makes me have vivid nightmares it will work in reverse and I’ll have wonderful dreams of Dancing Dror dancing naked for me.
September 28, 2011 at 7:49 pm
Oh, how exciting to see your post, Badger! I made that Catastrophe!
I mailed it to you yesterday, so you won’t have to toss and turn too many more nights
September 29, 2011 at 9:54 am
Also, I hope it works that way, as well! I apologize for neglecting to offer condolences last night, when I was overcome with giddyness.
Seeing awful things in your sleep is awful and I wish for you to see things in your sleep that are adrorably awe-full!
September 28, 2011 at 6:52 pm
I made my very first Regretsy purchase from this edition of the April’s Army shop – a Level 4 Cat charm bracelet. I am so glad to help Barbara and can’t wait to have a constant reminder of the world of Whimsicle Fuckery on my wrist.
September 29, 2011 at 6:38 am
I feel so honored to be your first Whimsicle purchase! It is all packed to ship today!
September 28, 2011 at 6:52 pm
I got so excited about Barbara’s little owls that I couldn’t log in to my Etsy account properly.
September 28, 2011 at 7:07 pm
I was pretty busy this month and did not put anything together for the shop.
I am also a bit sad that the crocheted teratoma sold. It was pretty gross, as crocheted things go, but it was starting to grow on me. In a good way.
September 28, 2011 at 7:13 pm
How do we donate items to sell? I have spare inventory that I made for craft shows and would like to participate.
September 28, 2011 at 8:08 pm
Join the team! http://www.etsy.com/teams/8522/aprils-army
September 28, 2011 at 7:27 pm
I was checking out the supply store…
does this ‘stache look familiar, or is it just me?
http://www.etsy.com/listing/77200545/diy-foam-scallops-set-of-15
September 28, 2011 at 7:36 pm
I got fingerless gloves for my cold arthritic hands! Plus they’re rainbow!
September 29, 2011 at 6:19 am
Those are super-pretty! I wanted them and am now jealous (but still broke).
September 28, 2011 at 7:38 pm
April’s army has the most talented fat jealous losers I’ve ever seen.
September 28, 2011 at 8:12 pm
I’ll say! Look at the masterpiece by Seibee I scored:
Best part? THIS is on the reverse:
September 28, 2011 at 8:47 pm
That is amazing! I didn’t even see that when I checked on Monday. You people are quick
September 29, 2011 at 12:17 am
My god this is the most amazing thing I have ever seen. My mum does quilting and I’m trying to figure out if it would be appropriate to ask her to make me one of these!
September 29, 2011 at 6:18 am
Shipped it today!
It’s a hot mess of brown paper, parcel tape and garden twine
September 29, 2011 at 9:40 am
Whee! Can’t wait to be a hot mess under it!
Glad you checked in so you could see even more compliments for your fine fuckery, Seibee
October 15, 2011 at 4:14 pm
GOT IT! The entire work of art is totes hand-stitched, including all the lettering! Even the whole Communism phrase! It must have taken a shit-ton of time! The Steampunk Octosquid is appliquéd with actual metal watch parts! The Mustachio Hobo Cupcake is embroidered with whimsicle sprinkles and patches! The Goatse’s got a glittery gold ring! I simultaneously obtained a dainty lady-boner AND squeed my pants when I saw it all! Thank you, Seibee!
September 28, 2011 at 9:15 pm
My husband and I are rabbit owners, and no one can know the depth of my despair at knowing I missed out on those Humping Rabbits in the screenshot. It honestly would have been perfect anywhere in my house. I’m sad just thinking about all of the awkward places I could have put them.
September 28, 2011 at 9:35 pm
“Dreams are the gateway to the anus.”
I want that one.. Could I also get that in a needlepoint, with that apple laptop ass cover? (I’d find the image, but I’m too much of a fat loser to lift my hand to the mouse and find it)
I’ll have to put these on layaway for the next… Four years. But as soon as the time is up, I’m pretty sure I’ll have the money!
If I wasn’t flat broke on my ass, I would’ve started investing in all this shit within the first ten minutes that I came across Regretsy.
September 28, 2011 at 10:08 pm
someone had this sign at #occupywallstreet today, I couldn’t believe my eyes so I took a picture
September 28, 2011 at 10:11 pm
I’m active duty military and i love owls, so it was really a no brainer to buy one of her ceramic owls for my dorm room.
It takes roughly 6 weeks to ship, so hopefully it will get here before i deploy, but i love it already
September 29, 2011 at 2:09 pm
As a daughter of a retired military man, I thank you for your service.
Also those owls are super cute. Want another? I’ll buy us each one is ya like.
September 28, 2011 at 11:04 pm
April, you have convinced me to make my first ever Esty purchase.
I am eagerly awaiting my Level 4 Cut-out Cat earrings with their matching flounce cat keychain. I shall be the envy of all I know when I rock those beautiful little fuckers.
September 29, 2011 at 6:17 pm
You have impeccable taste!
And Didi is such a generous soul, she has more of those earrings in her shop, with HALF going to April’s Army’s monthly charity fund!
September 29, 2011 at 12:39 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
September 29, 2011 at 1:39 am
If all the 100,000+ Regretsian numbers from Facebook each gave $1 every month to April’s Army, that would be $100,000.00+ to each monthly recipient.
Just let that sink in a sec.
The possibilities of this are staggering if not awe inspiring. I’m deeply touched that each one of you jealous losers hate people and crafts so much to do this.
You all amaze me. I have some faith in humanity back.
We’re damn near broke and I haven’t even gotten the paycheck yet, but I’m going to scrape what I can to pitch in. I pray that I will never have to need that help. So I figure if I give it, then I should be cool.
I’m teary eyed, dammit. I guess now wouldn’t be a good time to quit sniffing craft glue?
September 29, 2011 at 2:06 am
Long time Regretsy fan, first time posting and first time purchasing an April’s Army charity craft.
April, and all you ugly fat jealous losers, are what the internet was invented for. Please excuse my questionable grammar, I have a hangover.
September 29, 2011 at 6:50 am
I am PISSED that I missed out on the Twin Peaks coozy. I just discovered this show on Netflix this Summer, and I am obsessed…OBSESSED I SAY. It’s the most interesting thing I have ever seen on television and there is not a single moment I have not loved. I actually have held out on the last two episodes because I’m too sad knowing that it is totally over, and never coming back.
So yeah, I like it.
September 29, 2011 at 12:55 pm
There’s another set in their shop!
September 29, 2011 at 9:51 am
September 29, 2011 at 12:19 pm
POOP! The CF4L mustache stamp and kitty bow tie are gone
That’s what I get for not keeping up with the shop.
September 29, 2011 at 12:45 pm
Poop not! (Well, not less than once a day.)
There are still 4 kitty bow ties!
September 29, 2011 at 12:51 pm
Also, paperfruithair has another CF4L mustache stamp in her shop!
September 29, 2011 at 1:48 pm
Have I told, you lately, that I love you?
September 29, 2011 at 6:20 pm
Fill my heart with gladness!
September 29, 2011 at 1:57 pm
The owls are SO CUTE! I bought two so I can give one to my best friend, but I am waiting to tell her until I get them in case I decide to keep them both :3. Very cool shop!
September 29, 2011 at 2:11 pm
As soon as I get paid (tomorrow), I too will own an owl. I’m thinking mystery owl would be fun!
September 30, 2011 at 12:30 pm
I’m one of those fat heartless losers who doesn’t even bother to glance at April’s Army. You can boo me, I deserve it. Barbara’s story struck a chord with me because I have friends who had breast cancer, and a friend who volunteers at a hospice center for cancer patients.
I was looking through Barbara’s store trying to convince myself to buy something I didn’t really want when I looked to the left, and there it was: Barbara is in Charleston. I am also in Charleston and it hit me like a ton of bricks that this could be one of my friends. Instead of buying something I made a PayPal donation and shared this on Facebook.
January 16, 2012 at 9:52 pm
I am sure that you are going to be WAY too busy being awesomely snarky to be able to answer this, but as a new dedicated fan that also suffers to extremely debilitating migraines, I am curious if you would be willing to share, maybe privately, what med you are trying for your migraines. I was on one for 2 years that worked great for the migraines, but the little known side affects left me hospitalized many times this year and I am still quite ill. Anyways, thanks for your time, and keep up the brilliant work!