I’ve heard good things about copper-many thanks alloy. It is pretty strong and doesn’t corrode like most metals. The problem is that it tends not to hold an edge very well so I don’t know how good it would be for claws.
Hobby Lobby has really thin sheets of metal, and I think in all the listed colors. I think those sheets can just be cut with really sharp scissors, so the profit margin greatly increases.
Ideal for crimes of fashion, you could redo the hair and the hemline with just a single wave. And they’re the weapon of choice when fighting the evil bastards who never put enough butter on the toast…
reminds me of a friend of mine who went as Martha Stewart in prison complete with paint swatches. Loved some of the colors too, Lethal injection lavender, bar black, etc.
I don’t know about the Wal-Mart near you, but to look like a Wal-Mart check-out lady here, you’d have to paint those claws a dizzying, eye-bleeding shade or orange, then attck them with the bedazzler and/or jar-of-random-rhinestones.
They aren’t great fake nails unless they catch the light every other second and blind all customers within 15 feet.
Also, poodle hair. My favorite Wally World cashier has fluffy white hair that she almost always has in some manner of pigtails that make her look like a poodle. She is also overtly tan. An oven crisped poodle.
Wow. That store is purdy. I want it all. Can someone lend me some cash? Just enough to buy most of that store….I’ll pay you back. You know I’m good for it.
wow, $900 though. Very cool and they put some real effort into it, so I guess that accounts for the huge price difference.
Also in their shop: molar cuff links and matching finger ring??
Chronic Glitter Lung
September 26, 2011 at 2:07 pm
Sharp at the tip.
Look, I’m not a prude, but I would be worried about putting something in my Etsy store that seems to have no application BUT to become a toy for a sadistic serial killer.
A sadistic serial killer would probably prefer a weapon that’s more precise than these, can be used with more force than these, or both. Um…not that I spend a lot of time thinking about this stuff.
I do, however, predict a spike in accidental goth-kid-related injuries now that these are on the market. I’m really surprised the artist didn’t sand the tips down so that they only looked sharp but couldn’t actually hurt anyone. Major lawsuit bait.
How am I supposed to eat Halloween candy without performing plastic surgery on myself in the process? This question must be resolved before I purchase, Claw Lady.
Looking at the sleeves, I’m thinking it’s Lt. Uhuru about to enter some sort of a steel cage match on the Planet of Scantily-Dressed Girls with Big Hair.
I know some of you probably think these have no practical application at all, and are merely decorative. But the truth is these items are occupational equipment. I use them in my job and I have never been more efficient.
By the way, if any of you should need the services of a mohel, I hope you will contact me first. Thanks-
Friend (to mohel): hey, where’d you get the new wallet?
mohel: I made it out of my life’s work of foreskins!
Friend: it’s not very big for a life’s work…
mohel: true, but when I rub it, it turns into a suitcase!
Can anyone explain this to me? I had a peek in feedback and a purchaser says of an other item from the same shop “Beautiful ring! I wish I had known the azurite was only attached to the ring w/ glue though… I love it so much and worry it will fall off.”
How can someone consider this positive?
When I bought my razor blade-encrusted shoes, my friend was all, “you’ll never find any accessories that match those.”
Boy, will her face be red. Either from embarrassment at being wrong, or from me making an offhanded gesture that accidentally opens her carotid artery and sends blood spraying everywhere.
I misread that as “Either from embarrassment OR being wrong” at first.
Which, despite being an awkward sentence, WOULD still make a lot of sense actually. I would be quite embarrassed if I were out in public with someone who was wearing these.
These look like they would slice the ever-lovin’ fuck out of your fingers on the non-pointy end. I mean severing the tendons in your fingers if you actually put even a little pressure on the tips. Or slice the webbing between your pinky and your ring finger. These just make me shudder.
Back when I was a kid, my dad would haul me and my siblings out with him to run errands. Usually, these errands ended with us being trapped in Farm and Fleet (farm supply store) for HOURS on end. My brother and sister and I would do this with random shit from the plumbing fixture bins and play Nightmare on Elm Street. If only Etsy had been around in 1985.
No one better steal my idea of putting heating ducts on my little sister’s arms and legs and making her sing “If I Only had a Brain.”
Maybe this is too obvious and I’m thinking too hard about this, but if they’re adjustable, why are they jammed so tight onto her knuckles to the point that her knuckle skin is all pushed up and wrinkly?
September 26, 2011 at 1:32 pm
I’m so going to be Wolverine’s effeminate cousin Pussycat for Halloween.
September 27, 2011 at 5:38 am
could not stop. staring. at the hairy legs next to the manicuree in the room.
September 26, 2011 at 1:32 pm
How do you go to the bathroom with those on?
September 26, 2011 at 1:35 pm
CAREFULLY!
September 26, 2011 at 1:36 pm
Awwwww you beat me!
September 26, 2011 at 6:11 pm
kind of hard to scratch your butt or nuts wearing those things..
September 26, 2011 at 7:23 pm
Actually, it’s kind of easy. Too easy.
September 26, 2011 at 5:40 pm
With an ass-istant.
September 26, 2011 at 1:32 pm
where do the dessert forks go?
September 26, 2011 at 2:04 pm
Above the plate, but who would need one with these?
Even better for the 4.99 buffet/all you can eat salad bar.
September 26, 2011 at 1:33 pm
Not the Craw– The Craw
September 27, 2011 at 5:47 am
I miss Bernie!
September 26, 2011 at 1:33 pm
So.. To get the copper and brass colors, does she just paint the aluminum foil??
September 26, 2011 at 1:49 pm
I want mine made from ‘many thanks’
September 26, 2011 at 9:57 pm
I’ve heard good things about copper-many thanks alloy. It is pretty strong and doesn’t corrode like most metals. The problem is that it tends not to hold an edge very well so I don’t know how good it would be for claws.
September 27, 2011 at 6:05 pm
Ha, I was thinking the same thing. I wonder if she can make me a hat.
September 26, 2011 at 1:34 pm
1. Sheet of thinnest sheet metal available at Lowes.
2. Pair of tin snips.
3. PROFIT!
September 26, 2011 at 2:19 pm
Hobby Lobby has really thin sheets of metal, and I think in all the listed colors. I think those sheets can just be cut with really sharp scissors, so the profit margin greatly increases.
September 26, 2011 at 6:30 pm
Even better!
September 26, 2011 at 1:35 pm
When you need your roast carved… Ask predator to visit for lunch!
September 26, 2011 at 1:40 pm
Someone’s getting a few Thanksgiving invites this year!
September 26, 2011 at 1:43 pm
No more looking for the can opener! I was hoping the pinky finger would be coiled for wine bottles and the ring finger a bottle opener.
September 26, 2011 at 1:51 pm
Now THAT, I would buy.
September 27, 2011 at 6:06 pm
The pinky finger can’t be coiled. It would make it too hard to snort coke.
September 26, 2011 at 7:36 pm
..or Freddy Krueger…
September 26, 2011 at 1:35 pm
Well, that’s only $12.50 per finger! Sign my ass up!!
Also, never never wear when viewing pictures of Towel Mike.
September 26, 2011 at 1:37 pm
Did someone order the clitectomy?
September 26, 2011 at 4:05 pm
that made me clench SO HARD
September 26, 2011 at 4:48 pm
I kegeled in terror.
September 27, 2011 at 5:48 am
I love-buttoned this thread
February 20, 2012 at 8:34 am
Actually, she lowered the price to $50… only $5 per finger. Hard to believe nobody would buy them for $125!
September 26, 2011 at 1:35 pm
I can’t think of a good reason not to buy those.
September 26, 2011 at 2:13 pm
I can think of 125 good reasons.
September 26, 2011 at 4:12 pm
Wish that they weren’t so expensive; imagine wearing them to a faculty meeting and drumming my fingers when I get board!
September 27, 2011 at 9:28 pm
They would be pretty persuasive.
September 26, 2011 at 1:37 pm
Edward Butterknifehands.
September 26, 2011 at 1:37 pm
Arnold voice: “If it breaks, we can file it.”
September 26, 2011 at 1:38 pm
How has nobody made a Freddy Kreuger joke yet?
One, two, Freddy’s coming for you.
Three, four, better lock your door.
Five, six, grab your crucifix.
Seven, eight, gonna stay up late.
Nine, ten, would buy again.
September 26, 2011 at 6:13 pm
Pair this with a balaclava from the previous post & I’ll never sleep again.
September 26, 2011 at 7:38 pm
We could make a Regretsy horror movie!
As long as I get to be the person running through the forest at night, who trips and dies before the opening credits
September 26, 2011 at 1:38 pm
Gotta admit, at first I thought we were looking at a picture of Sylvia Browne.
September 26, 2011 at 9:15 pm
I miss the Montel Williams Show!
Such good childhood memories!
September 26, 2011 at 1:38 pm
I wonder if she does custom orders. This is awesome, but missing a word.
http://www.etsy.com/listing/51432449/skinny-stacking-cuffs-bracelet-pendant
September 26, 2011 at 1:40 pm
I wonder if you can custom order less sloppy stamping? Or is the messy positioning supposed to be “quirky”?
September 26, 2011 at 1:55 pm
I don’t know, but she does actually have some cool stuff in her shop. A Best Fuckin Friends heart shaped friendship necklace? I’ll take 2!
September 26, 2011 at 3:23 pm
I would like a “Best Bitches” heart/ “I Live 4 Hanson” tag combo.
September 26, 2011 at 1:38 pm
But can I fight crime with them?
September 26, 2011 at 2:06 pm
Sure. But I’d recommend you stick with fighting white collar crime. It’s a safety thing.
September 26, 2011 at 2:53 pm
Ideal for crimes of fashion, you could redo the hair and the hemline with just a single wave. And they’re the weapon of choice when fighting the evil bastards who never put enough butter on the toast…
September 26, 2011 at 1:39 pm
Oooh! Flesh-rending claws to go with my Halloween costume of Martha Stewart!
September 26, 2011 at 6:15 pm
reminds me of a friend of mine who went as Martha Stewart in prison complete with paint swatches. Loved some of the colors too, Lethal injection lavender, bar black, etc.
September 26, 2011 at 1:40 pm
I want to see what the Many Thanks claws look like before I buy them.
September 26, 2011 at 1:41 pm
Brass and copper? PERFECT. I’ve always wanted to be a steampunk sloth for Halloween.
September 26, 2011 at 1:48 pm
. . .I kind of want to see this happen now.
September 26, 2011 at 5:31 pm
Isn’t that Michael Moore?
September 26, 2011 at 5:54 pm
There’s nothing Steampunk about Michael Moore. Slothy, though, he be.
September 26, 2011 at 1:41 pm
Do you think the undersides still have the soda logos?
September 26, 2011 at 1:45 pm
I’ve always wanted to be like my favorite checkout lady at Walmart. How does she press those register keys?!
September 26, 2011 at 10:29 pm
I don’t know about the Wal-Mart near you, but to look like a Wal-Mart check-out lady here, you’d have to paint those claws a dizzying, eye-bleeding shade or orange, then attck them with the bedazzler and/or jar-of-random-rhinestones.
They aren’t great fake nails unless they catch the light every other second and blind all customers within 15 feet.
September 27, 2011 at 12:22 pm
Also, poodle hair. My favorite Wally World cashier has fluffy white hair that she almost always has in some manner of pigtails that make her look like a poodle. She is also overtly tan. An oven crisped poodle.
September 26, 2011 at 1:59 pm
BONUS RIDICULOUSNESS:
These look like a very poor imitation of some work by a schoolmate of mine, Danielle Hills:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/43929324/predator-rings-5-piece-set
September 26, 2011 at 2:35 pm
Those are awesome! Not exactly practical, but definitely awesome.
September 26, 2011 at 3:58 pm
Wow! Really nice work.
September 26, 2011 at 5:47 pm
Let’s play “Spot which one took more effort and time”!
September 26, 2011 at 10:06 pm
Wow. That store is purdy. I want it all. Can someone lend me some cash? Just enough to buy most of that store….I’ll pay you back. You know I’m good for it.
September 27, 2011 at 5:53 am
wow, $900 though. Very cool and they put some real effort into it, so I guess that accounts for the huge price difference.
Also in their shop: molar cuff links and matching finger ring??
September 26, 2011 at 2:04 pm
These should be filed in Butthurt.
September 27, 2011 at 5:53 am
They should just be filed
September 26, 2011 at 2:06 pm
Raping and pillaging just got a lot more interesting.
September 26, 2011 at 2:07 pm
Sharp at the tip.
Look, I’m not a prude, but I would be worried about putting something in my Etsy store that seems to have no application BUT to become a toy for a sadistic serial killer.
September 26, 2011 at 3:07 pm
A sadistic serial killer would probably prefer a weapon that’s more precise than these, can be used with more force than these, or both. Um…not that I spend a lot of time thinking about this stuff.
I do, however, predict a spike in accidental goth-kid-related injuries now that these are on the market. I’m really surprised the artist didn’t sand the tips down so that they only looked sharp but couldn’t actually hurt anyone. Major lawsuit bait.
September 26, 2011 at 4:53 pm
Several of the items in that shop can EASILY be weaponized.
Copper Knuckle stabbers
Christmas Tree Throwing Star
September 26, 2011 at 5:50 pm
I do love a festive shuriken
September 27, 2011 at 1:48 am
I hear Pat Benetar singing “Stop using shit as a weapon…”
September 26, 2011 at 2:07 pm
And they go with EVERYTHING!
September 26, 2011 at 2:11 pm
I really would hate to wipe after using the loo with these on.
September 26, 2011 at 6:16 pm
almost as bad as 1 guy 1 jar.
September 26, 2011 at 2:17 pm
Do the tacky rings come with the claws? That will really make or break my decision.
September 26, 2011 at 4:16 pm
I noticed those too. Rather overkill with the talons.
September 26, 2011 at 2:28 pm
“The Claw is our Master! Claw decides who will go and who will stay!”
September 26, 2011 at 6:17 pm
perfect for being the evil Dr. Claw when you play Inspector Gadget with the neighborhood kids.
September 26, 2011 at 2:28 pm
How am I supposed to eat Halloween candy without performing plastic surgery on myself in the process? This question must be resolved before I purchase, Claw Lady.
September 26, 2011 at 10:09 pm
Hmm…I think she may be missing a key selling point.
Free plastic surgery with every purchase!
September 26, 2011 at 2:33 pm
Are these even legal? Wouldn’t it be neat if the Etsy seller got arrested for illegal arms trading?
September 26, 2011 at 2:35 pm
There, I fixed it for you.
September 26, 2011 at 3:54 pm
Wow, someone’s *completely* unemployable, aren’t they?
September 26, 2011 at 5:03 pm
She has friends.
http://www.funzug.com/index.php/fashion-trends/ever-seen-such-strange-manicure.html
September 26, 2011 at 5:10 pm
Just in case the horn implants and facial tatoos were not enough!
September 26, 2011 at 8:14 pm
yes, they have time on their hands.
September 26, 2011 at 3:05 pm
Looking at the sleeves, I’m thinking it’s Lt. Uhuru about to enter some sort of a steel cage match on the Planet of Scantily-Dressed Girls with Big Hair.
September 26, 2011 at 3:09 pm
I know some of you probably think these have no practical application at all, and are merely decorative. But the truth is these items are occupational equipment. I use them in my job and I have never been more efficient.
By the way, if any of you should need the services of a mohel, I hope you will contact me first. Thanks-
September 26, 2011 at 5:11 pm
Oy Veh! Here goes the Circumcision Discussion again!
September 26, 2011 at 5:57 pm
“Bluegargoyle For All Your Mohel Needs. *Special discount for multiple births!*”
September 27, 2011 at 5:56 am
But he doesn’t get paid for his work…
…he only takes tips
September 27, 2011 at 8:58 am
That would explain the bottle of skin lotion next to a collection of Barbies with very oddly patterned handsewn vests and skirts in his bedroom.
September 27, 2011 at 2:15 pm
Friend (to mohel): hey, where’d you get the new wallet?
mohel: I made it out of my life’s work of foreskins!
Friend: it’s not very big for a life’s work…
mohel: true, but when I rub it, it turns into a suitcase!
September 26, 2011 at 6:18 pm
just the tip please.
September 26, 2011 at 10:29 pm
Discount circumcisions! Half off!
September 27, 2011 at 5:56 am
Just take a little off the top
September 26, 2011 at 3:09 pm
Those will make snorting coke from your pinky nail a lot more exciting.
September 26, 2011 at 6:21 pm
you can have a nose piercing and a hit of cocaine all at one time!
September 26, 2011 at 3:12 pm
Can anyone explain this to me? I had a peek in feedback and a purchaser says of an other item from the same shop “Beautiful ring! I wish I had known the azurite was only attached to the ring w/ glue though… I love it so much and worry it will fall off.”
How can someone consider this positive?
September 27, 2011 at 6:13 pm
Because they drank the Etsy kool-aid too.
September 26, 2011 at 3:14 pm
When I bought my razor blade-encrusted shoes, my friend was all, “you’ll never find any accessories that match those.”
Boy, will her face be red. Either from embarrassment at being wrong, or from me making an offhanded gesture that accidentally opens her carotid artery and sends blood spraying everywhere.
September 26, 2011 at 4:45 pm
I thought Steve Martin was out of that business.
September 26, 2011 at 5:49 pm
I misread that as “Either from embarrassment OR being wrong” at first.
Which, despite being an awkward sentence, WOULD still make a lot of sense actually. I would be quite embarrassed if I were out in public with someone who was wearing these.
September 26, 2011 at 3:28 pm
These look like they would slice the ever-lovin’ fuck out of your fingers on the non-pointy end. I mean severing the tendons in your fingers if you actually put even a little pressure on the tips. Or slice the webbing between your pinky and your ring finger. These just make me shudder.
September 26, 2011 at 3:44 pm
Okay….I’m going to quietly point out the fading hopscotch chalking and wonder silently how long it took to clean the claws?
September 26, 2011 at 3:45 pm
“Sweetie, my shoulderblades are itchy again…”
September 26, 2011 at 3:50 pm
September 26, 2011 at 4:16 pm
Amazing!
September 26, 2011 at 4:58 pm
Oh, I forgot the MOST IMPORTANT PART
September 26, 2011 at 5:42 pm
Bravo, bravo!!
September 26, 2011 at 4:56 pm
Where’s the glitter tear?
September 26, 2011 at 5:00 pm
Just added it. Silly me, no mani is complete without some bling.
September 26, 2011 at 3:53 pm
I wouldn’t want to forget I had those on an itch my eye or pick my nose, or adjust my pants
September 26, 2011 at 4:17 pm
Now all those fingerless gloves make sense!
September 26, 2011 at 4:21 pm
It reminds me of a vaginal speculum.
September 26, 2011 at 4:22 pm
But I would hope that many wouldn’t be used at once.
September 26, 2011 at 4:29 pm
Youd be better off getting a real brass pair from a Thai ethnic costume store.
September 27, 2011 at 5:58 am
was thinking the same thing when I saw them
September 26, 2011 at 5:11 pm
Yes, but do they come in Yanni?
Also, awesome photoshop job!
September 26, 2011 at 5:24 pm
Back when I was a kid, my dad would haul me and my siblings out with him to run errands. Usually, these errands ended with us being trapped in Farm and Fleet (farm supply store) for HOURS on end. My brother and sister and I would do this with random shit from the plumbing fixture bins and play Nightmare on Elm Street. If only Etsy had been around in 1985.
No one better steal my idea of putting heating ducts on my little sister’s arms and legs and making her sing “If I Only had a Brain.”
September 26, 2011 at 7:08 pm
He’s getting a predacure! (Pedants, I know, but still can’t believe no one already went there!)
September 27, 2011 at 6:00 am
Maybe this is too obvious and I’m thinking too hard about this, but if they’re adjustable, why are they jammed so tight onto her knuckles to the point that her knuckle skin is all pushed up and wrinkly?
September 27, 2011 at 6:47 am
Some people are always looking for tricks to train themselves to stop biting their nails. This might be it.
March 20, 2012 at 1:08 pm
The Blue Rajah’s been looking to expand his repertoire.