I’m so going to be Wolverine’s effeminate cousin Pussycat for Halloween.
could not stop. staring. at the hairy legs next to the manicuree in the room.
How do you go to the bathroom with those on?
Awwwww you beat me!
kind of hard to scratch your butt or nuts wearing those things..
Actually, it’s kind of easy. Too easy.
With an ass-istant.
where do the dessert forks go?
Above the plate, but who would need one with these?
Even better for the 4.99 buffet/all you can eat salad bar.
Not the Craw– The Craw
I miss Bernie!
So.. To get the copper and brass colors, does she just paint the aluminum foil??
I want mine made from ‘many thanks’
I’ve heard good things about copper-many thanks alloy. It is pretty strong and doesn’t corrode like most metals. The problem is that it tends not to hold an edge very well so I don’t know how good it would be for claws.
Ha, I was thinking the same thing. I wonder if she can make me a hat.
1. Sheet of thinnest sheet metal available at Lowes.
2. Pair of tin snips.
Hobby Lobby has really thin sheets of metal, and I think in all the listed colors. I think those sheets can just be cut with really sharp scissors, so the profit margin greatly increases.
When you need your roast carved… Ask predator to visit for lunch!
Someone’s getting a few Thanksgiving invites this year!
No more looking for the can opener! I was hoping the pinky finger would be coiled for wine bottles and the ring finger a bottle opener.
Now THAT, I would buy.
The pinky finger can’t be coiled. It would make it too hard to snort coke.
..or Freddy Krueger…
Well, that’s only $12.50 per finger! Sign my ass up!!
Also, never never wear when viewing pictures of Towel Mike.
Did someone order the clitectomy?
that made me clench SO HARD
I kegeled in terror.
I love-buttoned this thread
Actually, she lowered the price to $50… only $5 per finger. Hard to believe nobody would buy them for $125!
I can’t think of a good reason not to buy those.
I can think of 125 good reasons.
Wish that they weren’t so expensive; imagine wearing them to a faculty meeting and drumming my fingers when I get board!
They would be pretty persuasive.
Arnold voice: “If it breaks, we can file it.”
How has nobody made a Freddy Kreuger joke yet?
One, two, Freddy’s coming for you.
Three, four, better lock your door.
Five, six, grab your crucifix.
Seven, eight, gonna stay up late.
Nine, ten, would buy again.
Pair this with a balaclava from the previous post & I’ll never sleep again.
We could make a Regretsy horror movie!
As long as I get to be the person running through the forest at night, who trips and dies before the opening credits
Gotta admit, at first I thought we were looking at a picture of Sylvia Browne.
I miss the Montel Williams Show! Such good childhood memories!
I wonder if she does custom orders. This is awesome, but missing a word.
I wonder if you can custom order less sloppy stamping? Or is the messy positioning supposed to be “quirky”?
I don’t know, but she does actually have some cool stuff in her shop. A Best Fuckin Friends heart shaped friendship necklace? I’ll take 2!
I would like a “Best Bitches” heart/ “I Live 4 Hanson” tag combo.
But can I fight crime with them?
Sure. But I’d recommend you stick with fighting white collar crime. It’s a safety thing.
Ideal for crimes of fashion, you could redo the hair and the hemline with just a single wave. And they’re the weapon of choice when fighting the evil bastards who never put enough butter on the toast…
Oooh! Flesh-rending claws to go with my Halloween costume of Martha Stewart!
reminds me of a friend of mine who went as Martha Stewart in prison complete with paint swatches. Loved some of the colors too, Lethal injection lavender, bar black, etc.
I want to see what the Many Thanks claws look like before I buy them.
Brass and copper? PERFECT. I’ve always wanted to be a steampunk sloth for Halloween.
. . .I kind of want to see this happen now.
Isn’t that Michael Moore?
There’s nothing Steampunk about Michael Moore. Slothy, though, he be.
Do you think the undersides still have the soda logos?
I’ve always wanted to be like my favorite checkout lady at Walmart. How does she press those register keys?!
I don’t know about the Wal-Mart near you, but to look like a Wal-Mart check-out lady here, you’d have to paint those claws a dizzying, eye-bleeding shade or orange, then attck them with the bedazzler and/or jar-of-random-rhinestones.
They aren’t great fake nails unless they catch the light every other second and blind all customers within 15 feet.
Also, poodle hair. My favorite Wally World cashier has fluffy white hair that she almost always has in some manner of pigtails that make her look like a poodle. She is also overtly tan. An oven crisped poodle.
These look like a very poor imitation of some work by a schoolmate of mine, Danielle Hills:
Those are awesome! Not exactly practical, but definitely awesome.
Wow! Really nice work.
Let’s play “Spot which one took more effort and time”!
Wow. That store is purdy. I want it all. Can someone lend me some cash? Just enough to buy most of that store….I’ll pay you back. You know I’m good for it.
wow, $900 though. Very cool and they put some real effort into it, so I guess that accounts for the huge price difference.
Also in their shop: molar cuff links and matching finger ring??
These should be filed in Butthurt.
They should just be filed
Raping and pillaging just got a lot more interesting.
Sharp at the tip.
Look, I’m not a prude, but I would be worried about putting something in my Etsy store that seems to have no application BUT to become a toy for a sadistic serial killer.
A sadistic serial killer would probably prefer a weapon that’s more precise than these, can be used with more force than these, or both. Um…not that I spend a lot of time thinking about this stuff.
I do, however, predict a spike in accidental goth-kid-related injuries now that these are on the market. I’m really surprised the artist didn’t sand the tips down so that they only looked sharp but couldn’t actually hurt anyone. Major lawsuit bait.
Several of the items in that shop can EASILY be weaponized.
Copper Knuckle stabbers
Christmas Tree Throwing Star
I do love a festive shuriken
I hear Pat Benetar singing “Stop using shit as a weapon…”
And they go with EVERYTHING!
I really would hate to wipe after using the loo with these on.
almost as bad as 1 guy 1 jar.
Do the tacky rings come with the claws? That will really make or break my decision.
I noticed those too. Rather overkill with the talons.
“The Claw is our Master! Claw decides who will go and who will stay!”
perfect for being the evil Dr. Claw when you play Inspector Gadget with the neighborhood kids.
How am I supposed to eat Halloween candy without performing plastic surgery on myself in the process? This question must be resolved before I purchase, Claw Lady.
Hmm…I think she may be missing a key selling point.
Free plastic surgery with every purchase!
Are these even legal? Wouldn’t it be neat if the Etsy seller got arrested for illegal arms trading?
There, I fixed it for you.
Wow, someone’s *completely* unemployable, aren’t they?
She has friends.
Just in case the horn implants and facial tatoos were not enough!
yes, they have time on their hands.
Looking at the sleeves, I’m thinking it’s Lt. Uhuru about to enter some sort of a steel cage match on the Planet of Scantily-Dressed Girls with Big Hair.
I know some of you probably think these have no practical application at all, and are merely decorative. But the truth is these items are occupational equipment. I use them in my job and I have never been more efficient.
By the way, if any of you should need the services of a mohel, I hope you will contact me first. Thanks-
Oy Veh! Here goes the Circumcision Discussion again!
“Bluegargoyle For All Your Mohel Needs. *Special discount for multiple births!*”
But he doesn’t get paid for his work…
…he only takes tips
That would explain the bottle of skin lotion next to a collection of Barbies with very oddly patterned handsewn vests and skirts in his bedroom.
Friend (to mohel): hey, where’d you get the new wallet?
mohel: I made it out of my life’s work of foreskins!
Friend: it’s not very big for a life’s work…
mohel: true, but when I rub it, it turns into a suitcase!
just the tip please.
Discount circumcisions! Half off!
Just take a little off the top
Those will make snorting coke from your pinky nail a lot more exciting.
you can have a nose piercing and a hit of cocaine all at one time!
Can anyone explain this to me? I had a peek in feedback and a purchaser says of an other item from the same shop “Beautiful ring! I wish I had known the azurite was only attached to the ring w/ glue though… I love it so much and worry it will fall off.”
How can someone consider this positive?
Because they drank the Etsy kool-aid too.
When I bought my razor blade-encrusted shoes, my friend was all, “you’ll never find any accessories that match those.”
Boy, will her face be red. Either from embarrassment at being wrong, or from me making an offhanded gesture that accidentally opens her carotid artery and sends blood spraying everywhere.
I thought Steve Martin was out of that business.
I misread that as “Either from embarrassment OR being wrong” at first.
Which, despite being an awkward sentence, WOULD still make a lot of sense actually. I would be quite embarrassed if I were out in public with someone who was wearing these.
These look like they would slice the ever-lovin’ fuck out of your fingers on the non-pointy end. I mean severing the tendons in your fingers if you actually put even a little pressure on the tips. Or slice the webbing between your pinky and your ring finger. These just make me shudder.
Okay….I’m going to quietly point out the fading hopscotch chalking and wonder silently how long it took to clean the claws?
“Sweetie, my shoulderblades are itchy again…”
Oh, I forgot the MOST IMPORTANT PART
Where’s the glitter tear?
Just added it. Silly me, no mani is complete without some bling.
I wouldn’t want to forget I had those on an itch my eye or pick my nose, or adjust my pants
Now all those fingerless gloves make sense!
It reminds me of a vaginal speculum.
But I would hope that many wouldn’t be used at once.
Youd be better off getting a real brass pair from a Thai ethnic costume store.
was thinking the same thing when I saw them
Yes, but do they come in Yanni?
Also, awesome photoshop job!
Back when I was a kid, my dad would haul me and my siblings out with him to run errands. Usually, these errands ended with us being trapped in Farm and Fleet (farm supply store) for HOURS on end. My brother and sister and I would do this with random shit from the plumbing fixture bins and play Nightmare on Elm Street. If only Etsy had been around in 1985.
No one better steal my idea of putting heating ducts on my little sister’s arms and legs and making her sing “If I Only had a Brain.”
He’s getting a predacure! (Pedants, I know, but still can’t believe no one already went there!)
Maybe this is too obvious and I’m thinking too hard about this, but if they’re adjustable, why are they jammed so tight onto her knuckles to the point that her knuckle skin is all pushed up and wrinkly?
Some people are always looking for tricks to train themselves to stop biting their nails. This might be it.
The Blue Rajah’s been looking to expand his repertoire.
You must be logged in to post a comment.
The term "Etsy" is a trademark of Etsy, Inc. This site is not affiliated with Etsy, Inc.