“Love it, play with it, name it, take it to school and show your friends”: Sounds like all the boys in my elementary school. Hell, high school, college, and post-graduate school as well.
Hey Mugsy, want to name my fat co—-er, fuzzy dinosaur? He’s hiding in my pocket waiting to jump out and surprise my little friends at the playground…(said in my best Herbert voice…)Want a popsicle?
This. So this. I intend to find some way to work that into conversation when my husband comes home. Considering my negligible self-restraint, I’ll probably email it to him in the next three minutes.
The “Glee” one looks more like someone took a dump on it, which I find very appropriate. And if my Aunt Tildy wanted one of those, she’d still be my Uncle Timmy!
No that is why I am no longer teaching in the correctional facilities.
Due to court order I am unable to comment on the Sunday School event in question.
I can, KT. I was there, and I’ll never hear the phrase “Shout To The Lord” without feeling like I need to show the social services officer where you touched me on the anatomically correct doll EVER AGAIN.
That first one reminds me of the time when one of my best friends was going through her grandmother’s things and found a lovingly crocheted pink penis warmer made for her late grandfather. Mentioning it makes my friend squirm to this day…
I would like to purchase this. you see, my mother in law is coming over for Thanksgiving dinner….and I really need something to be thankful for. Hearing the doorbell ring, her saying “what the…” and then a giant THUD would just make my life.
“Happy Father’s Day, Dad! I had this made to commemorate all those special nights that you would sneak into my—what? Oh, I thought you’d told everyone already. I mean, the last time you were with me and I did, you know, you said, ‘Wait until I tell the gang about this!’ I thought you meant the family.”
I actually bought and tried the vintage pink salt and pepper shakers, but I found that I had to shake them vigorously for several minutes to get anything to come out at all, and then they would suddenly spray salt and pepper all over everything. It was a huge mess. Do not buy!
*covers face and whimpers and gives you a thumbs up*
Don’t mind me. That’s just the part of me that thinks I should still be innocent dying a little bit. Someday April will post some link that I will click on and it will die a horrible death, and somebody will buy me a beer without knowing why.
Please, kick them in the balls for me. Gwyneth Paltrow must have boinked someone to get that role. The woman should never have been allowed to sing that song in public.
Thats Mrs. Bitch to you
September 25, 2011 at 8:12 pm
The little fuzzy dinosaur is “usually” 3.5″ tall, 2″ long and one inch fat. Unless it’s cold and wet, then it’s 1/2″ long and hides. But with a few kind words and a pat on its little head, he’ll burst forth and grow and grow!
Oh, honey, it just tells you it will grow and grow “with a few kind words and a pat on the head…and maybe some cuddling and stroking and kissing, because it’s been so cold and wet outside!” Notice how often it says, “Hey, it’s been cold and wet!” even on the hottest, driest days? Yeah.
I clicked on one of the items and got this instead. Did anyone ever see this before? Are they trying to be funny because it really creeped me out instead.
I’m so dumb! It makes so much more sense. It was creepy if etsy did it since they are all hipster knitfucks, so I was like, oh god are they trying to be like us? Scary thought. April totally fooled me. April Fools? Ohohoho. Horrible joke.
That last one just looks like a penis, where is Rapunzel? Also, the memory penis, what on earth and why why why on Father’s da?! Yeah Dad I just wanted to wish you a happy father’s day and in commemoration of this, I bought you a memory penis, because on this day, what I think of most is a penis.
1. I have a hard time believing the crocheted heart bookmark wasn’t intentional. 2. The Glee lollypop kinda looks like a penis, it also kinda looks like a piece of shit or an earthworm or an unfortunate crossroad of all three. 3. The fuzzy dinosaur is hilarious and if I owned a pet I would buy it for them.
Your honey
Your kids (cuz you love them and want them to read more!)
Friend
Secret Pal
Pastor’s Wife
Sunday School teacher
Teacher
Great Aunt Tildy
and many, many more!! ”
This just had to be in purpose…otherwise it is just too perfect XD I can’t………….
I feel so ridiculous, but I was driving to my parents house on the backroads to Austin from Waco, and stopped at a antique shop. Bought those EXACT same salt and pepper shakers on impulse because I was looking for some new ones, had money, and they were the only brightly colored ones they had. Sent a pic to my boyfriend from the parking lot and he responded “Is this a joke?” After he said that it dawned on me. They looked just like little penises!!! I hated them from then on out and decided to sell them on Etsy. I faced the issue as to sell them as a joke, or for real. I went into the Etsy chat room to ask the sellers what they thought I should do, and I actually got bitched out. I was informed that I needed to warn someone if I was going to show such a “vulgar” image. LOL. Needless to say, I actually sold them to someone who didn’t see them as vulgar. Sucker!!!
It’s easier than you think to make an accidentally penis shaped craft. I know, I nearly gave this to my daughter.
[IMG]http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y5/ripesugarplum/July24b10001.jpg[/IMG]
September 25, 2011 at 4:33 pm
“Fuzzy pocket dinosaur” is my new favorite euphemism.
September 25, 2011 at 4:35 pm
“Love it, play with it, name it, take it to school and show your friends”: Sounds like all the boys in my elementary school. Hell, high school, college, and post-graduate school as well.
September 25, 2011 at 4:37 pm
Do they ever grow OUT of that?
September 25, 2011 at 4:38 pm
No.
September 25, 2011 at 5:00 pm
No
September 25, 2011 at 5:09 pm
Absolutely not.
September 25, 2011 at 5:52 pm
A resounding nope.
September 25, 2011 at 6:01 pm
Never.
September 25, 2011 at 7:39 pm
When my son was going through a phase of constantly giving special attention to his own “fuzzy pocket dinosaur,” I mentioned it to his pediatrician.
His response, “Oh don’t worry, he’ll outgrow it by the time he’s…..92.”
September 25, 2011 at 8:28 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
September 25, 2011 at 9:39 pm
Grow out of it? Hell some guys never grow into it!
Oh wait, you meant the stage.
September 25, 2011 at 9:48 pm
or drawing pictures of it either.
September 26, 2011 at 4:19 pm
to be more precise it grows out of us not us out of it.
September 25, 2011 at 4:42 pm
Hey Mugsy, want to name my fat co—-er, fuzzy dinosaur? He’s hiding in my pocket waiting to jump out and surprise my little friends at the playground…(said in my best Herbert voice…)Want a popsicle?
September 25, 2011 at 5:01 pm
@Dallasisland: Don’t you mean a “popsicle”? I’m not falling for that line a 79th time!
September 25, 2011 at 6:16 pm
Probably in nursing homes too.
September 25, 2011 at 5:01 pm
Is that a fuzzy pocket dinosaur in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
September 26, 2011 at 5:34 am
which answer gets it played with?
September 26, 2011 at 8:05 am
This. So this. I intend to find some way to work that into conversation when my husband comes home. Considering my negligible self-restraint, I’ll probably email it to him in the next three minutes.
September 25, 2011 at 4:33 pm
apparently ET is a fan of Glee, who knew?
September 25, 2011 at 4:36 pm
ET has the weirdest balls I’ve ever seen.
September 25, 2011 at 4:40 pm
they look like lightly chewed toffee
September 25, 2011 at 4:45 pm
Hey, some people like a nibble on their toffee occasionally, NTTAWWT.
September 25, 2011 at 4:46 pm
They’re alien balls. Who knows what galaxy they have been around.
September 25, 2011 at 6:18 pm
Looks like ET’s dog was a fan. Where’s the pooper-scooper?
September 25, 2011 at 4:33 pm
The “Glee” one looks more like someone took a dump on it, which I find very appropriate. And if my Aunt Tildy wanted one of those, she’d still be my Uncle Timmy!
September 25, 2011 at 10:46 pm
^^ Glad I scrolled through the comments, because I was going to comment on the poop-aspect of the Glee one.
September 25, 2011 at 4:34 pm
The one in the last listing has herpes!!
Hmmmm…. Maybe they could sell it to valtrex??
September 25, 2011 at 4:35 pm
Yes, I have a Fuzzy Pocket Dinosaur. And yes, it’s VERY glad to see you.
September 25, 2011 at 4:37 pm
‘Fess up, what name do you call it when you play with it?
September 25, 2011 at 4:39 pm
Dongasaurus Rex, I’ll bet.
September 25, 2011 at 6:19 pm
Will you dinosaur cause me to cry out in raptor?
September 25, 2011 at 6:54 pm
September 25, 2011 at 4:36 pm
How appropriate that the Peen-mark is in 1Corinthians 13. Love never fails, indeed.
September 25, 2011 at 4:48 pm
I have on more than one occasion used mine as a bookmark.
September 25, 2011 at 4:58 pm
Is THAT why you’re not teaching Sunday School anymore?
September 25, 2011 at 5:01 pm
No that is why I am no longer teaching in the correctional facilities.
Due to court order I am unable to comment on the Sunday School event in question.
September 25, 2011 at 6:20 pm
I can, KT. I was there, and I’ll never hear the phrase “Shout To The Lord” without feeling like I need to show the social services officer where you touched me on the anatomically correct doll EVER AGAIN.
September 25, 2011 at 6:23 pm
Come in the name of the lord right?
September 25, 2011 at 6:49 pm
Well, people have been to known to yell “Oh God” at that moment but I never realized that’s what it meant.
September 25, 2011 at 9:30 pm
Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord.
September 25, 2011 at 6:22 pm
Seems appropriate, using an extension of the family jewels in the family bible.
September 26, 2011 at 9:19 pm
Note to self: Do not lend books to KT.
September 26, 2011 at 10:36 pm
Would never get the pages unstuck.
September 25, 2011 at 4:37 pm
I’m suddenly craving salt.
September 25, 2011 at 4:39 pm
Make that 7 (I too, am guilty of the inadvertent, Freudian Craft):
September 25, 2011 at 4:40 pm
Actually I guess if you count all the tiny ones on my snowflake necklace and earring set that would make it what, 18?
September 25, 2011 at 4:44 pm
Snowflakes? I thought they were little blue anuses.
September 25, 2011 at 4:41 pm
That first one reminds me of the time when one of my best friends was going through her grandmother’s things and found a lovingly crocheted pink penis warmer made for her late grandfather. Mentioning it makes my friend squirm to this day…
September 26, 2011 at 10:18 am
…so you mention it often, when people are around, don’t you?
September 25, 2011 at 4:41 pm
Great Aunt Tildy always needs more penis. Who doesn’t?
September 25, 2011 at 4:43 pm
Rapunzel’s tower should get that checked.
September 25, 2011 at 4:43 pm
Fuzzy pocket dinosaur is another word for “butt plug”
And apparently the famous scene in Rapunzel was when she lasso’d his wart ridden penis and then rethought about getting the ride of her life?
September 25, 2011 at 4:46 pm
I feel soo inadequate my penis looks nothing like these
September 25, 2011 at 4:48 pm
Yeah, I didn’t know the whole thing was supposed to be fuzzy. Maybe I just need to wait for Second Puberty.
September 25, 2011 at 4:56 pm
Only hobbit penis is fuzzy like that.
September 25, 2011 at 4:54 pm
well maybe the “Rapunzel” thing cause at least they got the sizing right.
September 25, 2011 at 4:46 pm
How about something that definitely looks like penises?
September 25, 2011 at 4:55 pm
Needs more goatse.
September 25, 2011 at 4:59 pm
I almost went goatse, but I’ll save that for another time.
September 25, 2011 at 5:04 pm
Hehe. Gonna save it for just the right “goatse” moment?
Then again, is there ever a wrong goatse moment? Hmm…
September 25, 2011 at 5:35 pm
At your grandmother’s house. Unless you have a really awesome grandmother. In which case she’s probably showing YOU a goatse.
September 25, 2011 at 8:49 pm
Is it still goatse if you shout ‘Surprise!’?
September 25, 2011 at 6:26 pm
It is an amazing example of undulating peni, but what does one do with it or what does it do? My mind is churning with possibilities.
September 25, 2011 at 7:58 pm
I would like to purchase this. you see, my mother in law is coming over for Thanksgiving dinner….and I really need something to be thankful for. Hearing the doorbell ring, her saying “what the…” and then a giant THUD would just make my life.
September 26, 2011 at 12:13 pm
If I actually sold one of these, I think my husband would shit himself.
September 25, 2011 at 9:32 pm
Its a wreath of urethras.
September 26, 2011 at 10:29 am
September 26, 2011 at 9:40 pm
It’s so fluffy I’m gonna die!
September 25, 2011 at 4:52 pm
Ok – I cannot leave the house until I know – what the hell is that thing????
September 25, 2011 at 4:53 pm
Penis Doily. Made for a friend to display her penises.
September 25, 2011 at 4:56 pm
OK – so I have learnt something new today… Ladies need to display their penises – we are just like men after all….
September 25, 2011 at 4:59 pm
She collects them? From whom, exactly?
September 25, 2011 at 5:01 pm
She makes them!
September 25, 2011 at 6:59 pm
Why from an Etsy seller of course. The perfect place for your memory penis shopping.
September 26, 2011 at 10:16 am
“Happy Father’s Day, Dad! I had this made to commemorate all those special nights that you would sneak into my—what? Oh, I thought you’d told everyone already. I mean, the last time you were with me and I did, you know, you said, ‘Wait until I tell the gang about this!’ I thought you meant the family.”
September 25, 2011 at 7:01 pm
Thank you,.. I think. (I had imagined some more unique uses but am glad to know WTF it is.
September 25, 2011 at 5:00 pm
‘… I will be more then happy to make you a little friend’
I have no doubt bout that but if I use my hands will it be bigger?
September 25, 2011 at 5:01 pm
I have a heart-on for that bookmark.
September 25, 2011 at 5:05 pm
I actually bought and tried the vintage pink salt and pepper shakers, but I found that I had to shake them vigorously for several minutes to get anything to come out at all, and then they would suddenly spray salt and pepper all over everything. It was a huge mess. Do not buy!
September 25, 2011 at 5:08 pm
*covers face and whimpers and gives you a thumbs up*
Don’t mind me. That’s just the part of me that thinks I should still be innocent dying a little bit. Someday April will post some link that I will click on and it will die a horrible death, and somebody will buy me a beer without knowing why.
September 25, 2011 at 6:30 pm
Regretsy – raping dreams & innocence one person at a time.
September 25, 2011 at 5:11 pm
I like how the wear doesn’t show unless you turn them over. Which is, last I checked, how you use salt and pepper shakers.
September 25, 2011 at 8:43 pm
Good catch!
September 25, 2011 at 5:05 pm
The Glee looks more like someone made a poopy.
Also, if penises were that fuzzy, guys wouldn’t get head. Just sayin’.
September 25, 2011 at 5:45 pm
I thought the Glee was was a representation of what they do to the songs they cover.
September 25, 2011 at 5:52 pm
Yeah, you have a point. I remember seeing their cover of the song “Fuck You” and wanting to kick the directors and writers in gnads.
……. You know, I DO live in L.A. now…….
September 25, 2011 at 6:05 pm
Please, kick them in the balls for me. Gwyneth Paltrow must have boinked someone to get that role. The woman should never have been allowed to sing that song in public.
September 25, 2011 at 6:40 pm
You Doc’s are always too damned long-winded, ‘The woman should never have been allowed.’
September 25, 2011 at 9:30 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
September 25, 2011 at 6:18 pm
Give it to Great Aunt Tildy? But she’s basically 100 years old. It’d be like giving it to a pile of wet cornbeef–
OH, YOU MEANT THE BOOKMARK.
September 25, 2011 at 9:48 pm
No, dry corned beef.
September 25, 2011 at 6:32 pm
Ewww! That Rapunzel tower looks like it has a nasty hair growing out of it and warts!
Hmm, reminds me of another phallic tower…
September 25, 2011 at 6:46 pm
the last dick should have the disclaimer “free valtrex with every purchase”
September 25, 2011 at 7:01 pm
Especially since one of the pustuals looks like it’s spawning some kind of weird alien dick baby
September 25, 2011 at 7:07 pm
HK covered this, right?
September 25, 2011 at 8:39 pm
Oh wow you noticed that toooo
September 26, 2011 at 10:07 am
To clarify…I posted a picture of Etsy’s error message…the tits with Phyllis thing…Not sure why it was removed.
September 26, 2011 at 10:08 am
Now it’s there! ???
September 26, 2011 at 10:11 am
Peek-a-boo, Phyllis’s tits see you!
September 27, 2011 at 12:54 am
She not only covered it, I’m pretty sure she created it!
Or Bronc did.
I dunno.
But I like it a lot more than the actual Etsy error messages. Way cooler way to deal with dead links.
September 25, 2011 at 8:12 pm
The little fuzzy dinosaur is “usually” 3.5″ tall, 2″ long and one inch fat. Unless it’s cold and wet, then it’s 1/2″ long and hides. But with a few kind words and a pat on its little head, he’ll burst forth and grow and grow!
September 26, 2011 at 10:10 am
Oh, honey, it just tells you it will grow and grow “with a few kind words and a pat on the head…and maybe some cuddling and stroking and kissing, because it’s been so cold and wet outside!” Notice how often it says, “Hey, it’s been cold and wet!” even on the hottest, driest days? Yeah.
September 25, 2011 at 8:13 pm
There’s no way in hell that last “fairy tale” is getting anywhere near my enchanted forest.
September 25, 2011 at 8:39 pm
I clicked on one of the items and got this instead. Did anyone ever see this before? Are they trying to be funny because it really creeped me out instead.
September 25, 2011 at 8:47 pm
Psst- check out the header! It’s orange, but it doesn’t say ‘Etsy’.
September 25, 2011 at 9:09 pm
I’m so dumb! It makes so much more sense. It was creepy if etsy did it since they are all hipster knitfucks, so I was like, oh god are they trying to be like us? Scary thought. April totally fooled me. April Fools? Ohohoho. Horrible joke.
September 26, 2011 at 10:08 am
And why would Etsy link you back to Regretsy? They’re Etsy. When in doubt, just remember:
Regretsy Is Cool. Etsy is…well, it’s Etsy.
September 25, 2011 at 9:47 pm
Am I the only person who thinks that fairy tale pendant looks like a fetus? At least, that was my first thought.
September 25, 2011 at 10:30 pm
Perhaps a penis fetus?
September 26, 2011 at 12:51 am
That last one just looks like a penis, where is Rapunzel? Also, the memory penis, what on earth and why why why on Father’s da?! Yeah Dad I just wanted to wish you a happy father’s day and in commemoration of this, I bought you a memory penis, because on this day, what I think of most is a penis.
September 26, 2011 at 5:49 am
If your penis looks like the Glee turd, get to the doctor STAT!
September 26, 2011 at 8:40 am
“5 Things That Look Like Penises
Why isn’t James Carville on this list? I like the guy and everything, but c’mon…put a dimple in his skull and make him a cantaloupe bow-tie and VIOLA!
September 26, 2011 at 10:37 am
I have thought about giving it to the pastor’s wife for years now!
September 26, 2011 at 11:38 am
1. I have a hard time believing the crocheted heart bookmark wasn’t intentional. 2. The Glee lollypop kinda looks like a penis, it also kinda looks like a piece of shit or an earthworm or an unfortunate crossroad of all three. 3. The fuzzy dinosaur is hilarious and if I owned a pet I would buy it for them.
September 26, 2011 at 12:53 pm
“but who would I give it to?
Your honey
Your kids (cuz you love them and want them to read more!)
Friend
Secret Pal
Pastor’s Wife
Sunday School teacher
Teacher
Great Aunt Tildy
and many, many more!! ”
This just had to be in purpose…otherwise it is just too perfect XD I can’t………….
September 27, 2011 at 6:27 pm
The lolly looks more like it has a smashed earthworm on it.
October 11, 2011 at 11:59 pm
I feel so ridiculous, but I was driving to my parents house on the backroads to Austin from Waco, and stopped at a antique shop. Bought those EXACT same salt and pepper shakers on impulse because I was looking for some new ones, had money, and they were the only brightly colored ones they had. Sent a pic to my boyfriend from the parking lot and he responded “Is this a joke?” After he said that it dawned on me. They looked just like little penises!!! I hated them from then on out and decided to sell them on Etsy. I faced the issue as to sell them as a joke, or for real. I went into the Etsy chat room to ask the sellers what they thought I should do, and I actually got bitched out. I was informed that I needed to warn someone if I was going to show such a “vulgar” image. LOL. Needless to say, I actually sold them to someone who didn’t see them as vulgar. Sucker!!!
October 14, 2011 at 3:33 pm
It’s easier than you think to make an accidentally penis shaped craft. I know, I nearly gave this to my daughter.
[IMG]http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y5/ripesugarplum/July24b10001.jpg[/IMG]
October 14, 2011 at 3:34 pm
Sigh, apparently I can’t work the picture function on here. Sorry!