Things That Are Not Steampunk #22
Mr. Verne regarded his wife with annoyance. “Why do you insist on rummaging through that infernal leather satchel when we dine at the Savoy?”
“Jules,” she protested, “I’m looking for my Tic Tacs.”
123 comments on Things That Are Not Steampunk #22
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September 23, 2011 at 1:33 pm
Considering Louis Vuitton’s origins, perhaps they meant “steamTRUNK“.
September 23, 2011 at 1:33 pm
That most certainly IS steampunk, because words don’t have meanings.
September 23, 2011 at 2:45 pm
I can’t even understand what you wrote there.
September 23, 2011 at 6:52 pm
You’re being all postmodern, aren’t you?
September 23, 2011 at 7:31 pm
I hope not; I refuse to deconstruct on weekends.
September 23, 2011 at 7:51 pm
Totally, man. They’re just signs we’ve attached meaning to, you know?
(I’m totally having semiotics flashbacks. No! NO! Don’t make me read any more Pierce! Can’t I just read Eco instead?)
September 24, 2011 at 2:34 am
The destruction/creation distinction prevalent in Eco’s The Aesthetics of Thomas Aquinas emerges again in The Name of the Rose, although in a more self-justifying sense. In a sense, the characteristic theme of the works of Eco is the bridge between class and society.
(From the Postmodernism Generator)
September 23, 2011 at 1:33 pm
Fact: LV stands for Jules Verne. It’s a little known fact that he was dyslexic and always reversed the J.*
*Not intended to be taken as a true statement.
September 23, 2011 at 1:36 pm
Louis Vuitton is French for “punk with steam” #trollingstoned
September 23, 2011 at 1:46 pm
20,000 Leagues Under the Sea was originally titled $20,000 to Buy Handbags for Me, but it was changed in editing.
September 23, 2011 at 2:01 pm
I’m pretty sure this is a fake, anyway. I’d have to see both sides though. I tried to go to the seller link to see more pics, but it’s been taken down. Did anyone else see HK’s hilarious redirect? Love.
September 23, 2011 at 2:17 pm
I am now stuck with a mental image of Captain Nemo hauling around that purse…
September 23, 2011 at 2:48 pm
Thanks Meg! I would have missed that redirect otherwise
September 23, 2011 at 2:50 pm
The League of Fabulously Extrodinary Gentlemen!
September 23, 2011 at 1:33 pm
I’m afraid it goes with none of my patdown-themed lingerie.
September 23, 2011 at 1:45 pm
I don’t know, you might want to buy the purse and a corset just in case. Never know when the Leaky Eagles are gonna put in a call to Steampunk HQ.
September 23, 2011 at 1:34 pm
Maybe they meant “steamer trunk,” and got confused.
…The fact that I’m even attempting to get inside their minds bothers me.
September 23, 2011 at 1:36 pm
What’s that they say about “great minds……?”
September 23, 2011 at 1:34 pm
Okay, Phillis.
September 23, 2011 at 1:47 pm
September 23, 2011 at 1:56 pm
now I see they punkiness
September 23, 2011 at 2:31 pm
That damn furnace keeps melting my chapstick.
September 23, 2011 at 7:36 pm
But it does discourage purse snatchers.
September 23, 2011 at 1:34 pm
Maybe the scary factory where this purse is made by children is steampunk, so it’s steampunk once removed.
September 23, 2011 at 1:39 pm
Complete with grimy orphans!
主席先生，我想要多一些！
什么？
请主席先生，我想要更多一些。
Limbkins先生，对不起，先生！雾都孤儿要求有更多的！
September 23, 2011 at 2:23 pm
Why did this homage to Oliver Twist show up in Chinese?
That’s DEFINITELY NOT Steampunk. But I had to look it up on Google Translate.
Now my eyes hurt… Ooh steampunk Louis Vuitton Bag!
wait…that’s not right.
September 23, 2011 at 2:26 pm
OOH I see what you did there you’re stereotyping in reference to the grimy children in the factory…being in China.. hence the Oliver Twist reference being in Chinese…
Wait..WTF?
That ain’t right either. (Neither is my grammatical usage, but let’s not focus on that right now)
Ok, Chinese steampunk… make an image of that…GO!
September 23, 2011 at 2:31 pm
Cold medicine + too much coffee + half baked idea + Google Translate
The result? Angry thumbs!
September 23, 2011 at 2:40 pm
that is awesome
September 23, 2011 at 1:34 pm
You mean Louis Vuitton isn’t Steampunk??? Damn, now I have to completely redesign my costume for Burning Man next year…
September 23, 2011 at 1:38 pm
LV isn’t steampunk, but cheap, chinese, knockoff LV is if you squint at it just right to make the pattern look like old watch parts.
September 23, 2011 at 1:49 pm
which is what this is (the cheap, chinese and knock-off part). (Proceed with the thumbs down for being captain obvious pants.)
September 23, 2011 at 1:51 pm
Ooh, ooh, if you look very carefully in the corner on the fourth photo, in just the right light…you see octopi.
Octopi = Extra steampunkiness!!!
September 23, 2011 at 2:55 pm
I walked into an “Out of the Closet” store in Hollywood, browsing handbags. Behind the counter that had a “Louis Vuitton” handbag, for $25. I would have been a steal, had it not had smears on the strap from the plastic used to seal the edges of the leather, and if it didn’t have a cheap acetate lining minus the usual authentic details…
Knock offs abound, but this isn’t knock off so much as it’s off it’s rocker. Fake, probably, Steampunk? What you smokin?
September 23, 2011 at 2:56 pm
IT.. IT WOULD HAVE BEEN A STEAL… damn thumb got in the way…
I need more coffee…with my vodka.
September 23, 2011 at 2:13 pm
I could see a full-size steamer trunk with the wooden straps and rivets being labelled “Steampunk,” but this tiny little thing is merely damp-punk.
September 23, 2011 at 2:36 pm
I thought this was the last Burning Man for ever and ever until someone else decides to do it.
September 23, 2011 at 1:35 pm
Great setting: quilts are soooo steampunk!
September 23, 2011 at 1:36 pm
Especially Log Cabin. Its the steampunkiest thing ever.
September 23, 2011 at 1:51 pm
Especially Log Cabin in colors great-grandma picked out.
Because Gram-Gram, Louis Vuitton, and steampunk are pretty much the same thing.
September 23, 2011 at 2:38 pm
Actually, I think quilts are quite Steampunk, especially if pieced on a steam-powered sewing machine.
There were plenty of quilts around at the turn of the century. And plenty of them get upcycled into hideous garments, much to the horror of quilters like myself.
September 23, 2011 at 2:03 pm
I’m kinda turned on that you know the name of the pattern.
September 23, 2011 at 2:09 pm
I come from a long line of quilters. I’m sort of the family disappointment, all I want to make is clothes.
September 23, 2011 at 3:11 pm
I have a 1953 Pfaff that I use, she’s probably steampunk. She’s not steam pwered, but I can probably get her converted to being powered by a pedal, but then again that costs money.
September 23, 2011 at 4:09 pm
based on this video of a steam powered sewing machine, steam isn’t much of an improvement over a treadle or even a hand crank machine.
September 23, 2011 at 5:25 pm
I used to have a Singer 99*, original case and all. It sure looked Steampunk, even if it was electric.
*If you know what a Singer 99 is, then you know why I kick myself black and blue every time I remember how I sold it at a garage sale in 1982 to help pay for prenatal care.
http://blog.sew-classic.com/2008/11/06/singer-99-sewing-machine-review.aspx
Oh well. Still have the kid.
September 23, 2011 at 5:26 pm
*…sold at garage sale for $15.
*KICK KICK KICK KICK*
September 23, 2011 at 2:04 pm
Even without the tag the setting still clashes with the item. Now the steampunk hooked rag heart rug on the other hand…
http://www.regretsy.com/2010/07/05/things-that-are-not-steampunk-3/
September 23, 2011 at 2:05 pm
September 23, 2011 at 2:39 pm
McGee, you made me laugh-snort.
September 23, 2011 at 2:39 pm
Quilts deserve their own circle. Unless you’re being ironic. And you need an iron to make a quilt.
September 23, 2011 at 2:42 pm
Oh, the ironing!
September 23, 2011 at 3:05 pm
September 23, 2011 at 7:31 pm
That’s it!!! (I’m a quilter too BTW, Princess)
Quilting>>>Requires and iron>>>>irons have steam>>>
Quilts ARE Steampunk!!!!
September 23, 2011 at 9:01 pm
Steampunk hobo? Downsized Difference engineers, hitching the rails?
September 26, 2011 at 7:56 am
I could swear I’ve seen someone in exactly that costume at a science fiction convention. If not, I probably will at the next con.
September 23, 2011 at 1:36 pm
Wow it is gone already.
September 23, 2011 at 1:47 pm
Amazing–less than 15 minutes (assuming about 3 minutes before the first post was made, which was about 12 minutes ago…of course, this is totally random speculation and estimation on my part) after it was posted? That may be a Regretsy record!
September 23, 2011 at 1:36 pm
I wonder if “vintage” is code for “fake” now?
September 23, 2011 at 2:11 pm
For a lot of sellers, I’d have to say that it is.
September 23, 2011 at 2:14 pm
I didn’t even know it was fake until you said something. I fail as a woman, I obviously know nothing about fashionable shit.
September 23, 2011 at 9:02 pm
The real ones don’t look special to me. Especially Vuitton, with that tacky print on everything.
Given my finances, it’s just as well that the only thing I like to buy expensive is makeup.
September 23, 2011 at 1:36 pm
What are you talking about? Leather + metal = steampunk. OBVIOUSLY. #BrooklynDefinition
September 23, 2011 at 1:41 pm
Say “infernal” again.
September 23, 2011 at 1:42 pm
That “Pinch my tits and call me Phyllis” screen really threw me off for a minute! But I’ve never been that quick. Bravo, Regretsy!
September 23, 2011 at 2:02 pm
That shit gets me every time.
September 23, 2011 at 1:43 pm
ok… who else checked the quilt REALLY CAREFULLY for swastikas? you don’t catch me that way twice *nods knowingly*
September 23, 2011 at 1:48 pm
Nice screen name…now I’ve got that bubble gum song in my head. Thanks. *squirks mouth sarcastically*
September 23, 2011 at 3:19 pm
I lost my virginity to that song.
The memory of the dong is much worse than the memory of the sex.
September 23, 2011 at 3:20 pm
could that have been anymore Freudian of a slip?
I meant song.
Jeez, I need a drink now…
September 23, 2011 at 4:12 pm
Having read your follow-up, I have to say that’s one of the very best Freudian slips I’ve ever read. At first, I wondered, “What the hell was that dong like? And who calls a penis a dong?”
September 23, 2011 at 5:46 pm
That was an even better Freudian slip than my reference to “Fecebook” (on my own FB)!
September 23, 2011 at 1:45 pm
“And when I throw the switch, all of those valises and satchels around the World will explode at once!”, the Mad Count Louis de Vuitton cackled. “And THEN, the fashion industry will be MINE! ALL MINE!!!”
September 23, 2011 at 1:56 pm
I imagine Vincent Price playing the Mad Count in an exquisitely decorated castle, standing there cackling that great cackle of his and dabbing at his nose with a silk square that he’d plucked out of his pocket with a flourish (and—*in a Groucho Marx voice*—how the flourish got in his pocket I’ll never know!).
September 23, 2011 at 2:43 pm
BRILLIANT!
1000 thumbs upping and 100
internetsfor you!September 23, 2011 at 2:53 pm
Aw, shucks, thanks! (Actually, I was thinking of you when I did the Groucho comment!)
September 23, 2011 at 3:02 pm
even better! (see repost below)!
September 23, 2011 at 2:44 pm
BRILLIANT!!!
1000 thumb-upping for you
September 23, 2011 at 2:53 pm
Hey Diary of a Madman (1963) gets pretty close!
December 15, 2011 at 10:56 am
Mad? He’s down-right loony, he is. He’s just killed everyone with an interest in his style
September 23, 2011 at 1:57 pm
Well, pinch my tits
September 23, 2011 at 3:06 pm
*gets in line*
September 23, 2011 at 4:11 pm
Hold my place, I need to get some coffee. Want anything while we wait? What? Don’t look at me that way! Yes, I’m straight, but SHE SAID TO PINCH HER TITS. I don’t want to be rude!
*rolls eyes and walks away, muttering, “Men!”*
September 23, 2011 at 5:49 pm
I…
but…
I mean…
*sigh*
ok
September 23, 2011 at 4:30 pm
Can I also call you Phyllis?
September 23, 2011 at 2:13 pm
At a party last night, I saw a girl wearing a Hexapus necklace. I asked where she got it; to my complete lack of surprise, it was indeed Etsy. And that necklace? Despite not being steampunk, it’s STILL more steampunk than a fake LV handbag.
September 23, 2011 at 2:16 pm
What? No gears? No cat wearing a top hat and monocle? We should sue for false advertising!
September 23, 2011 at 2:19 pm
made in my artistic ability….by malaysian children in sweat shops who make .10 an hour
September 23, 2011 at 2:37 pm
September 23, 2011 at 2:38 pm
September 23, 2011 at 3:11 pm
I’ve been waiting for someone to make a Princess Bride joke about all the mislabeled “vintage” and “steampunk” shit.
September 23, 2011 at 5:50 pm
I actually did this one a few weeks ago…I thought it was appropriate timing to bring it out again
September 23, 2011 at 2:40 pm
You mean my limited edition LV cherry blossom backpack *gasp* ISN’T STEAMPUNK?
September 23, 2011 at 2:41 pm
That had to be a typo. The keys for FakeLouisVuitton are so close to the ones for STEAMPUNK, and you know how autocorrect can screw with your texts. I once told my friend that I wanted to buy a malaysian transvestite hooker thanks to autocorrect. I really meant to say a Mongolian transvestite hooker. Boy was MY face red.
September 23, 2011 at 2:42 pm
What?… I don’t even… Is there an eBook out there about Esty marketing that says “if you use the word ‘Steampunk’ you will get more views”?
I can cry an entire canvas of colors now…
September 23, 2011 at 3:26 pm
I think it’s more often a case of people making up their own definitions for words they see a lot. Just like “statement jewelry”.
September 23, 2011 at 7:44 pm
Yes, sigh. All the jewelry I own 7 all I get is the occasional jingle or clink; never a single word, much less a full statement.
September 23, 2011 at 7:43 pm
Just don’t cry glitter or Waldron will get the FBI after you.
September 23, 2011 at 2:46 pm
What timing! I’d just made this last night, but hadn’t uploaded it yet:
September 23, 2011 at 3:01 pm
On second thought, perhaps…
September 23, 2011 at 5:50 pm
You just KNOW it matches his shoes, too.
September 23, 2011 at 3:05 pm
September 23, 2011 at 3:06 pm
OMG, the things that they put next to the pictures, I didn’t put that there
September 23, 2011 at 3:08 pm
September 23, 2011 at 3:35 pm
I was gonna say.. I just went, but if you really want me to.. oh shit.. wait, I have my computer right there.
Are you trying to become the pee-on-blingies artist? You could sell them on Etsy!
“Authentic Streampunk peed on blingie tags! $75,000. Paypal only!”
September 23, 2011 at 9:22 pm
should we pinch your tits first?
September 23, 2011 at 3:07 pm
I… the ad link… I can’t… what?
September 23, 2011 at 3:22 pm
that is how I feel, and I’m sober.
(must remedy immediately)
September 23, 2011 at 3:29 pm
You know, a couple of weeks ago I was at the Lincoln Steampunk Asylum. I didn’t see too many fake designer purses.
I DID see a man dressed as a cyborg with lots of cogs though.
September 23, 2011 at 3:49 pm
The seller should have upcycled it with some gears and watch parts, and maybe an antiqued brass owltopus or two.
September 23, 2011 at 5:28 pm
So all these designers knock-offs I’ve been buying ARE NOT steampunk?!? Well, pinch my tits…
September 23, 2011 at 5:51 pm
*gets in line*
*again*
September 23, 2011 at 7:48 pm
OK – someone out there on Etsy; craft a tit pincher – FAST! Glitter optional.
September 25, 2011 at 1:19 pm
I hope I didn’t scare you away. I brought back cookies!
September 25, 2011 at 1:20 pm
That was meant as a reply to @G Val (no offense @Aliceblue!).
September 26, 2011 at 5:03 am
WTF are “back cookies”??
O.O
September 23, 2011 at 6:08 pm
http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/31/julesvern.jpg/
Sorry but I beg to differ
September 23, 2011 at 6:16 pm
September 25, 2011 at 1:18 pm
Also needs a young, strapping, muscular, poured-into-his-black-outfit Robert Conrad.
Oh, and Ross Martin.
September 23, 2011 at 7:46 pm
Waddaya mean not steampunk?
If that purse is not steampunk, i’ll stick my head in a bucket of shit!
September 23, 2011 at 8:37 pm
Pics or it didn’t happen.
September 23, 2011 at 8:30 pm
Not steampunk? Well I guess that you’ve never seen this picture.
September 24, 2011 at 9:58 am
Everyone know Louie Vuitton is not Steampunk, it’s retro-80′s Yuppie Douchebag.