Cirque de So Lame
You may find this hard to believe, but I was young once. And I was very involved in theatre and doing plays and being an actress and all of that horseshit. And if there is one fundamental truth to this part of your life, it is this:
You need pictures.
So when one of your idiot friends calls you up and says, hey, we’re going to dress like fucking clowns and traipse around the hills all day, are you in? You say, shit yeah I’m in.
I need pictures.
So you show up to the “set”, which is actually the base of a hiking trail, where the “amazing make-up artist” breaks out a couple of lawn chairs and a Rubbermaid tub full of expired foundation. And then “wardrobe” shows up in his 1982 hearse with a trunk full of moth-eaten shit he stole from the costume department of his old high school, and IT’S SCAVULLO TIME.
And there you are, sweating under layers of clothes that already smell like B.O., while they smoke American Spirits and talk about the “Golden Hour” and other shit they heard someone talk about on the Actor’s Studio. And suddenly someone says, “you know what this needs? Bowler hats and knee pads.” And then the other guy with the red highlights says “yes, but only one knee pad each.” And that’s when it all clicks, and later, when you’re sharing a sad, skinny joint in the parking lot, everyone says “oh my god you guys we got some amazing stuff today.”
And if by some chance you actually manage to get a meeting with an agent, and you break out your portfolio, they will take one look at this New Wave Hillbilly Clownfuck and say,
You need pictures.
September 20, 2011 at 1:26 pm
That’s a load of teased up clown hair, right there.
September 20, 2011 at 1:32 pm
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September 20, 2011 at 1:44 pm
Too soon(ami)
Yes, I know I’m a terrible person. The thumbs down are worth it.
September 20, 2011 at 1:55 pm
No, no, no.
September 21, 2011 at 11:00 pm
I don’t know, but I am certain the one on my left is my cousin Tangie circa 1992.
September 22, 2011 at 2:39 pm
Why would anyone thumbs down an Amy Winehouse joke? It’s heeeelarious.
September 20, 2011 at 3:50 pm
These ladies need to be in the next Hair Battle Spectacular.
September 20, 2011 at 4:43 pm
lord help me, i love that show
September 20, 2011 at 7:33 pm
I just ride the subway during the Bronner Brothers Show.
September 20, 2011 at 1:27 pm
The 80′s called and said “Oh God. You can keep that shit.”
September 20, 2011 at 1:45 pm
Wait! Did we leave any coke in there? No? Okay, yeah, go ahead and keep it.
September 20, 2011 at 5:15 pm
The 80′s probably crack-slammed them too. The most humiliating way to be hung up on!
September 20, 2011 at 1:28 pm
In other news, look for the triumphant return of Billy Ray Cyrus this fall as he releases his new greatest hits compilation, “New Wave Hillbilly Clownfuck”.
Available at Wal-Marts everywhere November 6th.
September 20, 2011 at 1:37 pm
You know, I would buy that. But not at Walmart, I would have to wait for it to be on iTunes because:
A. I already own three different versions of Achy Breaky Heart and;
B. Every time I go to a Walmart one of the ‘People of’ try to pick me up using what I hope aren’t their best lines.
September 20, 2011 at 1:40 pm
But you don’t have the Klingon version. Nobody does. I weep for that.
But I don’t weep for the dead bird.
September 20, 2011 at 1:47 pm
I think the dead bird is hiding in all that hair…
September 20, 2011 at 3:13 pm
But you’re Princess Buzzkill Crying Glitter Eagle. By virtue of your name aren’t you always crying?
September 20, 2011 at 1:54 pm
It wasn’t me. I know better than to pick up people at Wal-Mart. I do have my standards, as low as they are.
September 20, 2011 at 1:39 pm
I thought it was a new etsy descriptive category, if not it should be, along with midcentury hobo goth, or vegetarian new wave placenta,
September 20, 2011 at 1:57 pm
VEGETARIAN NEW WAVE PLACENTA
You are a genius.
September 21, 2011 at 4:27 am
Or, just “Steampunk.” Apparently, it’s a catch-all.
September 20, 2011 at 3:54 pm
At Walmart it would be sold under the title “New Wave Hillbilly Clownforget”.
September 20, 2011 at 5:16 pm
Yeah, they don’t truck with curse words. One more reason to stab the heart of Walmart.
September 20, 2011 at 1:28 pm
Heh – I was thinking maybe I was the only one with “Karma Chameleon” suddenly popping into my head.
September 20, 2011 at 2:39 pm
I was hearing Clowns Just Wanna Have Fun.
Love the name, btw.
September 20, 2011 at 5:56 pm
I’m sorely tempted to send this picture to my niece, because we’ve got more than a few pictures of her from the 80s that look EXACTLY like this.
Thankfully, she got better.
September 20, 2011 at 1:29 pm
I also want to know who’s levitating a fork and hula hoops in the background. What’s going on there?
September 20, 2011 at 1:31 pm
I was going to say–those UFOs are the coolest part of this whole thing.
September 20, 2011 at 1:38 pm
That explains it—aliens from a distant planet came to Earth and wanted to appear just like all the other humans. They consulted their library of the television signals that escaped our atmosphere and got to work. Sadly, the only television signals that they received on their cheap, jerry-rigged receiver were “Mork and Mindy” and a few Debbie Gibson videos.
September 20, 2011 at 1:51 pm
I think someone fell off their old timey bicycle.
September 20, 2011 at 1:52 pm
Fuck monkey! Am I the only person who is having trouble with the HTML height/width shit! When I do the preview all is good (and not fuckin’ huge) but when I post…BAM! Big Fuckin’ Old Timey Bike in your face!
September 20, 2011 at 2:17 pm
I’m stealing the term “fuck monkey” for my very own – it’s just that good.
September 20, 2011 at 2:48 pm
Here’s a better look at the hula hoops in the background, but don’t forget to look at the fabulous shorts.
September 20, 2011 at 4:28 pm
I’m usually just a Lurker but feel the need to comment on those shorts. Am I the only one to see a bulge there?!?!? Oh god I could use some towel mike or Dror about now to distract me from those colors. Its hypnotysing!
September 22, 2011 at 2:41 pm
Is that a jalapeno in your shorts or are you just…..a woman with a very large clitoris?
September 20, 2011 at 5:57 pm
Cirque de Solame?
September 20, 2011 at 1:29 pm
Can you imagine what happens to a load of laundry when you try to pull that out?
September 20, 2011 at 1:31 pm
he he you said “pull that out”
September 20, 2011 at 1:29 pm
I believe the one on the left is actually wearing both kneepads.
September 20, 2011 at 1:30 pm
Which clearly makes it all better. you people are crazy not to think this is the new wave of style!
September 20, 2011 at 1:30 pm
BITCH RUINED THE SHOOT
September 21, 2011 at 2:42 pm
Hence the buldge.
September 20, 2011 at 1:30 pm
They did not follow the “take off one thing before you leave the house” rule. They instead followed the “add ten things before you leave the house” rule.
September 20, 2011 at 1:39 pm
Sure they did! That’s why they only have two knee-pads between them.
September 20, 2011 at 1:30 pm
Talk about chicken legs….eat a sandwich for fuck’s sake.
September 20, 2011 at 1:47 pm
Sandwiches are hard to come by in the future/alternate 80′s.
September 20, 2011 at 1:31 pm
My brain is so full of fuck. . .
September 20, 2011 at 5:33 pm
September 20, 2011 at 10:05 pm
Blows my fucking mind!
September 20, 2011 at 11:09 pm
You are amazing. I collect brains – usually 3D but this can’t really go out with the public collection anyway. Thank you, thank you from the bottom of a jealous loser’s soul.
September 20, 2011 at 1:31 pm
epileptic seizure induced (anyone else?)
September 20, 2011 at 4:55 pm
Hey hey hey I would never dress myself so awfully after or during a seizure.
September 20, 2011 at 1:31 pm
You’d think that Alex and his droogs would have gotten their hats back after stabbing these people so many times.
September 20, 2011 at 1:41 pm
^ ^ this
September 20, 2011 at 1:42 pm
Those hats may be superglued on top of all that mess of hair. It’d make removal a pain, I bet. Also, would you want those hats back now?
September 20, 2011 at 2:49 pm
I thought: “A Happy Clockwork Orange” when I saw the photo.
Actually “A Crockwork Lemon” from Mad Magazine.
http://www.subcin.com/crockwork1.html
September 20, 2011 at 4:02 pm
My first thought was of Laurel and Hardy…
September 20, 2011 at 1:31 pm
Is it wrong of me that the first thing I noticed wasn’t the shredded shirts, but their hair? I mean, what is up with that hair? They’ve gotta have a million cans each of extra-strength hair spray holding those ‘dos up.
In fact, the shredded shirts are the only thing in this picture that I’m actually kind of okay with, and that only because I used to be a costume design major and when we studied period clothing styles, there was a point when shredded was in, and that’s just fine.
But that hair… and those jackets… and the leggings… and the knee pads. Can.. can we make it go away? *whimper*
September 20, 2011 at 2:26 pm
Does this help?
September 20, 2011 at 2:29 pm
I love you! ^_^
September 20, 2011 at 6:21 pm
Ooh David Tennant, how I miss you…
September 20, 2011 at 8:20 pm
Bless your heart, Pietarian. That ALWAYS helps!
September 21, 2011 at 2:31 pm
The Doctor is following me around today, no shit. I watched the first 2 eps of series 3 before work, then in the car they’re talking about a film with Derek Jacobi narrating (Professor Yana) and now I am browsing a random regretsy thread and HELLO SWEETIE.
I am considering it a miracle now that I didn’t put on one of the 3 (why yes, I am a dork) Doctor Who themed tshirts I own this morning.
(I am totally not complaining, though.)
September 20, 2011 at 2:49 pm
They say the higher the hair, the closer to god. These two are apparently vying for sainthood.
September 20, 2011 at 3:26 pm
That only applies if you have a thick southern accent. I don’t know why; I don’t write the rules.
September 20, 2011 at 6:23 pm
‘Tis true. I would know. *shuffles*
September 20, 2011 at 1:32 pm
Are those gold-painted safety goggles stolen from a chemistry lab? STEAMPUNK.
September 20, 2011 at 1:32 pm
The part about the knee pads (BUT ONLY ONE EACH) makes me want to die laughing.
September 20, 2011 at 1:32 pm
This kind of shit was tired 30 years ago. Sheesh.
Know what? I’ve got a huge trash-bag full of old clothes that I was going to have someone take to Goodwill. Now, I think I’ll shred it and otherwise “repurpose” it (teaching my daughter to sew, in the process), and sell it on Etsy, and maybe give Goodwill a portion of the profits. Or maybe I’ll just give 90% of the profits to the local Walgreen’s, split between their pharmacy and their liquor department.
Yeah, that sounds like a plan. Half of those old clothes are neon colors.
September 20, 2011 at 3:29 pm
I wish I lived in a state advanced enough to sell drugs and liquor in the same place! Ours segregates liquor off by itself.
September 21, 2011 at 12:13 pm
Washington? I’ve been in California for a while now, and it still surprises me to see liquor in regular stores, and at a regular tax rate.
September 20, 2011 at 1:33 pm
Soon to be waiting tables at a restaurant near you.
September 20, 2011 at 1:35 pm
No, all of the people with teaching degrees are waiting tables. More like “soon to be rejected by every fast-food restaurant in town year you.”
September 20, 2011 at 2:27 pm
Hell, I have a teaching degree and I can’t even get a job waiting tables!
September 20, 2011 at 2:40 pm
I’m right there with you, though my teaching degree is put to good use busing tables and washing dishes.
September 21, 2011 at 12:14 pm
God the economy is crappy. Anyone want to come cashier with me?
September 20, 2011 at 6:26 pm
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September 20, 2011 at 1:34 pm
Charlie Chaplin meets Flashdance? Jennifer Beals is not going to be happy, y’all.
September 20, 2011 at 1:34 pm
I’m not getting how cutting holes, a lot of holes in a t-shirt equals reconstructed. Surely that would be deconstructed or just cut to shit. Although seeing as it was Viktor Dazzle that created this awesome piece of fashion i’m now impressed.
September 20, 2011 at 4:55 pm
I’m holding out for a shirt by De’Wayne Glitter. I hear that he has cupcake fairies deconstruct unicorn farts into ragged-ass shirts.
September 20, 2011 at 1:34 pm
I think it would look better as skants.
September 20, 2011 at 1:43 pm
Everything looks better as skants.
September 20, 2011 at 3:31 pm
Hole-y skants!
September 20, 2011 at 4:55 pm
Hard to look worse.
September 20, 2011 at 1:35 pm
This is clearly Neverwhere cosplay.
Neil Gaiman just decided to cut the chapter where Mr. Croup & Mr. Vandamir dress in drag.
September 20, 2011 at 1:39 pm
was that ever made into a movie, or was it such a visual feast I felt like I watched it as I read it?
(I think I read it as a digital edition on my desktop. Maybe that’s why I think I “watched” it. Boy, was that a good book)
September 20, 2011 at 1:41 pm
There was a TV miniseries a while back. Maybe you’ve done both?
For Halloween this year, the theme my friends are doing is “Favorite literary character” my SO and one of his friends are going as Mr. Croup & Mr. Vandamir. They’re weedling me until I agree to go as Door.
September 20, 2011 at 1:48 pm
Why don’t you go as Dror?
September 20, 2011 at 1:49 pm
I am going to need glue…and a lot of hair.
September 20, 2011 at 1:36 pm
They also look like they are about to call out the Warriors for a rumble.
September 20, 2011 at 9:56 pm
…somewhere in the darkness of my dreams tonight, I’ll be hearing those famous words, over and over again…
Warrrrrrriorrrrs, come out to play-ay! Warrrrrriooooorrrrrs, come out to plaaaayyy-aaay!!!
By dawn, I’ll be dead from the sheer annoyance of having that stuck in my head again. Damn it.
September 20, 2011 at 1:36 pm
Oh and it’s $38.00 for a shredded t-shirt.
September 20, 2011 at 1:44 pm
I’m going home right now and cutting holes in all of the clothes I don’t like and listing them on Etsy. My shop will be called The Reconstructionist, because I’m deep and stuff.
September 20, 2011 at 1:37 pm
Also, I need to convo them and see if there’s one available in white. It would be perfect for the post-apocalyptic hobo theme wedding I’m planning.
September 20, 2011 at 1:40 pm
In the apocalypse, everyone’s a hobo.
September 20, 2011 at 1:41 pm
Ironically true.
September 20, 2011 at 1:42 pm
In the apocalypse, no one cries for the dead bird. They eat the dead bird.
September 20, 2011 at 1:44 pm
But in Soviet Apocalypse, dead bird eats you.
September 20, 2011 at 1:37 pm
Pretty girls. Shame about their clothes, and hair, and irony….
September 20, 2011 at 1:40 pm
I want to see April’s pictures.
Wasn’t that story just a long, rambling way of kinda sorta confessing she has these same pictures in her past?
September 20, 2011 at 1:41 pm
Is that her on the right?
September 20, 2011 at 1:42 pm
Shredded or moth eaten? Both descriptions work. If those sell I’m getting my daughter to put all her old shirts on etsy.
September 20, 2011 at 1:45 pm
My husband has some t-shirts that look like this because they’ve been worn hard for 30 years and washed with bleach. But I don’t think he’d part with them, not even for 38 bucks.
September 20, 2011 at 4:57 pm
My Dad is the same way about his tees. I LITERALLY read the newspaper through one of his very old, very thin ones. I’m still laughing 4 or 5 years later at the look on his face.
September 20, 2011 at 1:44 pm
remembering my Wayback Machine, and hanging out (and playing) in the clubs in the 80s, I saw more spandex and shredded clothing than should be allowed by law…and if either of these two had approached me in a club, I would have thought:
“wow, they’re pretty cute, but WTF is the matter with them?”
September 20, 2011 at 2:19 pm
You don’t need a wayback machine if you go to a Def Leppard convert. Women wore shit they outgrew 20 years ago. The back fat was cringeworthy.
September 20, 2011 at 3:33 pm
*shudder*
September 20, 2011 at 1:45 pm
“Apocalypse Vintage is a high-class/trash fashion institution dedicated to helping you reclaim your style.”
RECLAIM your style? Oh honey, I’m so sorry. Your style called and after all the abuse you’ve put it through, it’s not coming back. It wants the house and the kids.
September 20, 2011 at 1:47 pm
I think they’re confused. Apocalypse Vintage is a Coleslaw Zydeco tribute band.
September 20, 2011 at 2:44 pm
Apocalypsevintage seems to be the most perfect name ever (for them).
September 20, 2011 at 1:47 pm
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September 20, 2011 at 1:47 pm
Also: I don’t mind when fashoin comes back around…but don’t FORCE on us the stuff that SHOULD have died, just because you know how to make it!
On a brighter note, this one’s almost pure SEX
September 20, 2011 at 1:48 pm
You realize that you have to pose with your arm up like that or the tits pop out, right?
Oh wait… maybe that’s the point.
September 20, 2011 at 3:33 pm
I have no complaints
September 20, 2011 at 1:50 pm
That’s like the sideboob variety hour!
September 20, 2011 at 2:01 pm
This looks way too normal to be on this web page.
September 20, 2011 at 2:04 pm
Please use my last post for red thumb practice.
I meant to say “The ‘Let’s Wrestle Onesie’ looks like too normal a piece of clothing to be sold by apocolypsevintage”.
Thank you. Please return to your normally scheduled fuckery.
September 20, 2011 at 3:34 pm
It’s the modeling skillz that puts it firmly in the realm of apocolypsevintage
September 20, 2011 at 1:48 pm
Some day they’ll show their grandkids and say: “I know this is shit – but my thighs have never been that thin since!”
September 20, 2011 at 1:48 pm
They’re an 80s music video dance fight waiting to happen.
Time to go re-watch the music video of Pat Benatar’s “Love Is A Battlefield”.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nwbs8w-ucZE
September 20, 2011 at 1:56 pm
Can I just say something about fashion? I don’t understand it. I used to watch Sex and the City and to my thinking, Carrie Bradshaw dressed like a fucking lunatic 99% of the time. But she was supposedly so cutting-edge and fashion-forward and awesome. And then there’s this episode where Big buys her a sequin duck purse that looks no more or less crazy than every other thing she has ever worn and she acts all, “OMG, you guys, look at this ridiculous purse Big bought me but I have to pretend to like it because I love him, the big oaf” and she and her pals yuck it up because apparently that purse was just awful and nothing someone as fashion-conscious as her would ever wear. And I’m like WTF?
My point is, to me, this photo looks like it maybe might have just come out of Vogue for all I know.
September 20, 2011 at 2:07 pm
This is why I dress ridiculously 90% of the time. Sorry, you don’t get to tell me what I’m wearing is stupid when Vogue has a woman wearing a hairbrush as a bra. And sure, you’ll say ‘oooh, it’s conceptual, not for actual WEARING’ well, why is it in a fashion magazine then?
I think fashion designers have a meeting every year where they decide what bullshit they can get people to wear in the name of fashion this year.
So, yeah. My ridiculous clothes aren’t as fashionable as yours. But I’m wearing them cause I like them. What’s your excuse, hypothetical fashion victim?
September 20, 2011 at 8:49 pm
I’ve given up and started making clothes from ’50s and early ’60s vintage or vintage-inspired patterns. They fit my figure better. And oddly enough, I get more compliments than I ever did wearing “normal” clothes.
And designers & Vogue didn’t used to be insane. I’ve got a Vogue from around December 1950, and the clothes are beautiful and elegant, even if that style isn’t your thing.
September 20, 2011 at 3:37 pm
I can’t like your comment hard enough. I don’t even understand the appeal of designer shoes that look about as attractive and comfortable as a cape made out of a rake.
“Fashion” makes me mad enough to want to make my own store that revolutionises everything about clothing (by consistent, inclusive, flattering sizing and shapes and beautiful clothes that actually make people look good).
Except I’m a fat jealous loser, so I’ll roll around in a toga made out of a few bedsheets and complain instead.
September 20, 2011 at 5:43 pm
New for the 2012 fashion season: Rake Capes and Back Hoes!
September 20, 2011 at 8:04 pm
See, you have me wondering how one could make a cape out of a rake now. Damn.
September 20, 2011 at 10:27 pm
September 20, 2011 at 11:19 pm
Oh Lucy, wear this feedbag on your head
September 20, 2011 at 1:58 pm
I think the only good thing about this picture is that they’re almost unrecognisable, or at least the left one is..
September 20, 2011 at 2:01 pm
They call it a Knife Fight shirt, and yet neither of them are injured…
Shame…
Apparently the only injury here is to their dignity. Virtual knife fights end only in fauxbo shame…
September 20, 2011 at 2:28 pm
Never bring a knife fight shirt to a gun photo shoot.
Or something like that.
September 20, 2011 at 5:48 pm
September 20, 2011 at 7:30 pm
I dunno, something tells me their dignity would come out unscathed.
September 20, 2011 at 2:06 pm
“another unsuccessful days fishing, maybe we’re using the wrong kind of bait, what you got in that bucket?” ” It’s not me baby blue, you gotta cast that line a little farther”
September 20, 2011 at 2:07 pm
At least in the 80′s you shredded your shirts YOURSELF. This shit is like buying brand new ripped fishnets and paint-spattered high tops.
September 20, 2011 at 2:21 pm
…both of which are available on Etsy.
http://www.etsy.com/listing/59509606/funky-garter-belt-with-ripped-thigh-high?ref=sr_list_1&ga_search_submit=&ga_search_query=ripped+fishnets&ga_view_type=list&ga_ship_to=US&ga_search_type=handmade&ga_facet=handmade
http://www.etsy.com/listing/78692131/blue-and-green-splatter?ref=sr_list_4&ga_search_submit=&ga_search_query=shoes%2C+paint+splatter&ga_view_type=list&ga_ship_to=US&ga_search_type=handmade&ga_facet=handmade
September 20, 2011 at 2:51 pm
I just died a little inside.
September 20, 2011 at 5:35 pm
You’re welcome.
September 20, 2011 at 3:41 pm
I’d be scared of catching something from stockings that look like they came off Ke$ha.
September 20, 2011 at 7:41 pm
The even sadder part is that she has sold 35 pairs of the ripped stockings. Damn what is wrong with people?!
September 20, 2011 at 8:51 pm
I should put my cats to work shredding stockings to sell on etsy.
September 20, 2011 at 2:09 pm
What? No “steampunk” keyword?
The kneepad sharing does require some kind of snarkery. I had no idea you could do with only one knee pad, especially when “auditioning”.
September 20, 2011 at 2:25 pm
Right? I mean, every audition I’ve been on would have been so much more comfortable if I’d had a PAIR of kneepads, because when he’s old and…
*Phone rings…*
Hello? Oh, HI, MOM! Forgot you read this. What? Silly! Of course I’m joking. It’s all a joke. Really. It’s all made up. Evrything I’ve told YOU is the truth, though. Really. See you Sunday!
*Hangs up phone and reaches for the vodka and hugs it close, very very close.*
September 20, 2011 at 2:10 pm
The first thing that popped into my mind when I saw them was Frank-N-Furter. Maybe they are doing a post-apocolyptic version of the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
September 20, 2011 at 3:41 pm
That might actually be worth seeing
September 20, 2011 at 8:12 pm
I read the word “popped” as “pooped” at first, presumably because I feel like this picture did indeed poop in my mind.
September 20, 2011 at 2:10 pm
Shouldn’t apocalypse vintage be, like, football pads, hockey masks, and police helmets, maybe modeled against a wasteland marauder’s nitro buggy?
See below:
September 20, 2011 at 3:40 pm
Assuming there was going to be a Mad Max image there?
September 20, 2011 at 2:12 pm
This made me cry.
Not just for the god-awful fucked-up-ness.
A good friend who died a couple years ago had a picture by Francesco Scavullo. I have a post-card sized print of it. I’m thinking all sorts of ugly things about his relatives when I wonder what happened to it.
September 20, 2011 at 2:12 pm
“New Wave Hillbilly Clownfuck” is my new band name…
September 20, 2011 at 2:14 pm
I hate to say it, but I can see some elements in common with the weirdo clothes that trio from Parsons was trying to sell. (Bright colors, shreddy overlayers, oversized tops, strange bottoms and calf “treatments”…)
Does this mean that we’re seeing the start of a trend? If so, I’m going to take extra care of my current clothing, because if this is all that will be available in the stores, I will cry.
September 20, 2011 at 3:39 pm
perhaps we can quarantine this “trend” inside Etsy so it doesn’t get out among us in the civilized world
September 20, 2011 at 2:19 pm
There was some foreign laundry detergent I got at the La Brea Circus (Motto: Don’t Look In The Clown’s Eyes)once that would shred your clothes with one washing.
September 20, 2011 at 2:19 pm
I’m having flashbacks of the community college production of “Jesus Christ Superstar”!
September 20, 2011 at 3:38 pm
it was that bad, huh?
September 20, 2011 at 2:22 pm
I’m thinking the night before must have been awesome because that chick on the right has one HELL of a Fuck Knot on her head.
September 20, 2011 at 2:29 pm
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September 20, 2011 at 2:43 pm
This picture is still missing something. Like, maybe a tin of Jiffy Pop hanging off of one of their bag straps.
September 20, 2011 at 2:53 pm
Is the one on the left an actual person or a mannequin? It’s driving me nuts trying to figure it out. That, and the whole picture.
September 20, 2011 at 2:55 pm
Okay, what the fuck is with this new trend of ripping up shirts? No one (and I mean no one) thinks that looks good.
I especially hate it if you’re my waitress and the hole is right over your boob and arm pit. Then, you serve my Omelette and I happen to mention that it’s not “very sanitary” and you get mad and try to tell me “It’s fashion” and I respond with “that my dog could make” and all of a sudden my Monday morning breakfast at Omelette Express is ruined.
September 20, 2011 at 3:37 pm
it’s not a new trend, it’s a 30 year old trend that someone decided to try to bring back (because it’s so much easier to tear up a t-shirt and sell it for a 500% profit than it is to actually design something worth selling/wearing)
September 20, 2011 at 2:55 pm
The 80s called. They want their clothes back and demanded that the seller stay out of their basement where they store the boxes of rags for cleaning.
September 20, 2011 at 3:27 pm
You know, it’s almost so bad it’s back to cool again in a sort of “ooh look at me, I’m a fashion designer pushing boundaries!” way.
Not that it is pushing any boundaries other than good taste, and trying to make bowler hats a ‘thing’ again.
Pretty sure they’re Those Two Girls from The Mighty Boosh that Vince Noir brings back from a 20s/80s party they have in 2080. 2080 is full of steampunk hobo octo-owl bajingo hipsters…
September 20, 2011 at 7:32 pm
Love that show.
September 20, 2011 at 3:43 pm
Finally… the lost portfolio of John Wayne Gacy.
September 20, 2011 at 3:54 pm
OK after reading this post, I am more convinced than ever that I have lived a pale parallel shadow of HKpril’s life.
Theatre, stupid outfits, stupider pictures, horseshit…yep.
I’m really only here out of seething envy that she has somehow made it work for her, and to hitch my wagon to her snarky star by participating in some small way in her “philanthropic efforts” (which we all know are just her being a big selfish attention whore, really).
I don’t half hate her.
Cunt.
September 20, 2011 at 4:15 pm
And this collection should be titled “Vivienne Westwoodn’t”.
September 20, 2011 at 4:43 pm
After reading this post, I’m left thinking “I need pictures, man” wishing I had a feathered roach clip.
September 20, 2011 at 6:16 pm
Clown hobos. I dub thee, clo-bos.
September 20, 2011 at 6:50 pm
…gee…i’m thinking those two work in a steampunk factory in a cave at the bottom of that hill…and the morlocks told them frankie say relax…go home… get some meat on your bones….and come back so we can eat you…
September 20, 2011 at 7:30 pm
I’ve been looking all over for those things. Dusting the furniture the other day and turned my back to answer the phone, and when I finished on the phone, I couldn’t find my dust rags anywhere. Should I call the fashion police?
September 20, 2011 at 9:35 pm
I actually work with a girl who has quite the assortment of shirts that all look like the one on the right…except the green shredded part has a green patterned part underneath, and so on for all the colors. She’s definitely more of a hip-hop kind of girl, and the shirts are just incredibly ‘off’ from the rest of her look.
Oh, and she’s someone’s mother, which means she’s likely dressing someone else the same way.
September 20, 2011 at 10:06 pm
And now I’m having visions of some poor infant in a onesie that’s made out of patchwork day-glow colored squares, with the occasional rip to show off the matching t-shirt underneath.
September 20, 2011 at 10:46 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JmcA9LIIXWw&feature=share
September 21, 2011 at 10:57 am
These are stills from the film sequel “Gypsy 83: the Juggalo Years”
February 9, 2012 at 1:11 pm
I used to know a guy who dressed like this. But worse. Which is kind of a scary thought.