HELLO FINLAND
Well, you bastards did it. As of today, our Kickstarter project is funded and we are GOING TO HELSINKI!
I just want to thank each and every one of you who helped us get this far. I hope the book and the extras I’ve been working on are worth your invesment, and that you get many seconds of pleasure from them.
And I am equally enthused about sending you pictures and videos of our Finnish friends, some of whom may still be awake when I speak to them on the bar floor.
BUT IT’S NOT OVER YET
We have five more days of funding, so I’m going to ask you to keep going for one very important reason:
All profits over our original goal will go directly to an Etsy seller in need.
I have already figured in a contribution in my original request, but now we have the chance to do something really great. This is all gravy, as the cool kids say, or at least, the ones who like gravy. So, not the vegan kids then.
Not that vegan kids aren’t cool. In fact, if anyone has a good recipe for vegan gravy using nothing but jackfruit and soy, please let me know.
So to keep the momentum going. I have two new rewards I’m offering today:
25 MORE FLASKS NOW AVAILABLE
If I had any idea how many flasks I’d be able to sell you people, I’d have gone into the secret drinking business years ago.
Today, another source has stepped up and made another 25 flasks available! These are identical to the others – still emblazoned with the Regretsy logo, and still in the handsome black carrying case that can be strapped to your belt (perfect for nursing mothers).
This limited $60 reward comes with the book, the card and the worthless bonus item. And that’s all very well and good.
But.
But.
Here’s the big news.
NEW $40 REWARD: REGRxY
- A limited edition printed version of “Regretsy’s Big Book of Fabricated Folktales from Finland,” carelessly bound in plastic by some guy at Kinko’s who thinks you’re a jerk because you don’t understand words like “offset”
- A handwritten thank you note on your choice of Regretsy note cards or hoilday cards
- A worthless bonus item
AND – A customized Regretsy WTF weekly pill organizer, so you can keep all your Xanax and Soma from falling out onto the floor when you hit the brakes at the liquor store
Artist’s rendering – don’t be annoyed if it’s a little different
September 19, 2011 at 11:42 am
Bitch, I’m going to have to Google “jackfruit” now, and I’m scared.
September 19, 2011 at 11:50 am
Jackfruit…The fruit from jacking off? *shrugs*
September 19, 2011 at 3:37 pm
I don’t think that is vegetarian.
September 19, 2011 at 4:01 pm
It wouldn’t be vegan.
September 20, 2011 at 8:17 pm
My cousin got a sample of jackfruit in southeast asia and was allergic to it and almost died before she got some Benadryl. I think she said it tastes like pineapple if you’re brave enough to try it.
September 19, 2011 at 11:54 am
I’ve had it dried and it’s pretty good. Though that may be because it was coated with fatty oils.
September 19, 2011 at 2:26 pm
Oils or lubricants?
September 20, 2011 at 4:18 am
Jackfruit, or the fruit of jacking off?
September 19, 2011 at 12:09 pm
Jackfruit is delicious, used in lots of Asian deserts. The actual whole fruit is pretty horrifying, though–it’s like twice the size of a normal person’s head and the way the seeds are arranged is creepy in the same trypophobic way as lotus pods.
September 19, 2011 at 1:14 pm
Thanks for the trypophobic warning. Now I know never to touch one. My son gets a kick chasing me around craft stores with lotus pods. Just the thought of it makes me dizzy.
September 19, 2011 at 2:17 pm
Oh god oh god oh god lotus pods freak me the FUCK OUT. And because I’m a goddamned idiot, when I couldn’t find trypophobia in the dictionary I went ahead and googled it.
I knew better than to do that, I really did. Damn you and your automatic image return search algorithms, Google!
September 19, 2011 at 11:30 pm
Piss on all of you for making me google trypophobia. It took me MONTHS to get over that urban legend email about the boobs with all the holes in them. Motherfuckin fuck.
September 19, 2011 at 11:43 am
Congratulations! And I hope you get to keep that pillbox design. I never realized “WTF” was so perfect for Wednesday, Thursday and Friday on a pillbox before. *hangs head in shame*
September 19, 2011 at 2:01 pm
I posted WTF on Facebook (forgetting for a moment that my 79 year old mother was creeping my wall) and she asked what that meant. I did not want to be sent to detox so I told her it meant Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. Whew… dodged that Irish-Catholic guilt bullet.
September 19, 2011 at 2:27 pm
Even Kevlar can’t protect you from those!
September 19, 2011 at 2:53 pm
Unless it’s in a potholder. Casseroles can deflect Catholic guilt like you wouldnt believe.
September 19, 2011 at 3:41 pm
I admit, I never noticed Wednesday Thursday Friday before either. I’ve learned SO MUCH from this site! Though much of it I’m trying to forget, mostly through coconut rum and Hawaiian Punch.
I try to show my husband everything I learn here, but as soon as I get that look in my eye and start to turn the laptop around, he runs away. He’s learned, dammit.
September 19, 2011 at 7:34 pm
SON OF A FUCKING FLYING FROG I NEED THAT PILL MINDER!
Wait.. does it come along with the flask too? Wait.. sorry, my reading comprehension sucks when am on a goodly dose of Tramadol and Flexiril. I also tend to bid on eBay shit I don’t need and don’t remember ordering. Sounds like a perfect time to head over to kickstarter, no? I’ll try the reading thing again between doses…
September 19, 2011 at 11:43 am
nice work losers.
now i might even get out of my pajamas, seein’s how it’s 1:30 pm.
September 19, 2011 at 12:34 pm
You might… But why bother? You’ll just have to put them on again in a few hours anyway. (At least that’s what I tell myself when I don’t bother to get dressed.)
September 19, 2011 at 12:53 pm
Hello- are you me? I realized today that I had better get dressed when I was heating up my lunch to eat while I watched lie detector results on Maury.
And, yes, my next thought was, “But in 10 hours I’ll just have to put them on again.”
September 19, 2011 at 11:43 am
OH Happyness! Say HI to the Fijords for us!
September 19, 2011 at 11:43 am
Hello Finland and less arctic daytime hangover hours.
September 19, 2011 at 11:43 am
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! I can’t wait for the book!!!
September 19, 2011 at 11:47 am
Here’s a dilemma – I could maybe afford the $40 to get the pill box, but then I wouldn’t be able to afford the pills to go in it.
Decisions, decisions . . .
September 19, 2011 at 11:51 am
Lemme see if this would work:
1. Zyrtec – so I sneeze a bit more and can’t go near the cat. I guess I could skip it.
2. Trazodone – need this as an antidepressant and sleep aid. Maybe I could just spend my sleepless nights on Regretsy, which might cheer me up enough that I don’t need the meds.
3. Birth control – I could just stop having sex for a few months.
Um.
Okay, forget it then.
September 19, 2011 at 11:52 am
I’ve seen the hobos have work through this problem at 7-11 and it seems they loiter, ask for change from random strangers and then invest in scratch off Lotto tickets in order to afford both.
I see lots of them with the same business plan, so it must be a good use of time.
September 19, 2011 at 11:48 am
GOD FUCKING DAMMIT.
Don’t you know I’m BROKE and my KID is in COLLEGE and I’m using what’s left of my HOME EQUITY LOAN to fix up my house so I can sell it before its repossessed and did I say I’m BROKE????
But GOD FUCKING DAMMIT I can’t not be part of this and also I NEED a place to organize my drugs.
Happy traveling in Finnish please to translate for me.
Love
Not your Nana
September 19, 2011 at 11:54 am
GOD FUCKING DAMNIT. Don’t you know I’m BROKE and I’m a 24-year-old in COLLEGE and I can’t even afford to pay my RENT?! I can not swing $60 for that FLASK that I so desperately need to carry my BOOZE in that I buy instead of paying my RENT!!! GGAAHHH
Love
Not an alcoholic.
September 19, 2011 at 12:56 pm
I don’t suppose I can justify this by giving the book as a Christmas gift to any of my grandsons – ages 1, 5 and 11?
September 19, 2011 at 2:21 pm
Oh sure you can! Just imagine the heartwarming scene: Nana and her boys, gathered around the fire, drinking hot cocoa (laced with vodka, natch), as you read the beautiful (horrific) story, with gorgeous (equally horrific) illustrations! Think of the lifelong memories (expensive therapy) they will have! It’s the gift that keeps giving (nightmares!) So, hell yeah, go for it! It’s the perfect choice (for ruining their innocence and warping their minds!) Can’t go wrong with that, huh? BONUS: you get to help someone in need
That in itself makes the purchase completely worth it!
September 19, 2011 at 2:24 pm
The hot cocoa: lace it with peppermint schnapps instead of vodka.
You’re welcome!
September 19, 2011 at 4:43 pm
Bailey’s, Kahlua, or butterscotch schnapps, if you don’t like peppermint.
What?!
September 19, 2011 at 7:31 pm
Is it any worse than Disney?
September 20, 2011 at 9:26 pm
Probably no worse than Hans Christian Andersen.
September 19, 2011 at 11:49 am
That’s so exciting, I just want to dance.
http://youtu.be/EW_0sVhTLtw
September 19, 2011 at 11:51 am
Humppa!
September 19, 2011 at 12:23 pm
That’s SO EXCITING, I JUST WANNA FUCKING DANCE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7cMD4p2HfEo
September 19, 2011 at 2:00 pm
That was amazing.
September 19, 2011 at 4:07 pm
I’m hoping April will adopt it as the regretsy theme tune.
September 19, 2011 at 4:45 pm
I guess it’s kind of sad that I recognize a good portion of those scenes, but it really was well put together!
September 19, 2011 at 5:15 pm
Nah, that’s cool
A friend of a friend put it together for London club Heaven long time ago – he’s now VJing in LA for them.
September 19, 2011 at 11:49 am
Holy hell, I want that pillbox! It *does* come full of meds, as shown, right?
September 19, 2011 at 11:56 am
Not if I get my hands on it first
September 19, 2011 at 11:58 am
you don’t want those, they look like big-old people’s pills – fish oil, fiber, iron…
You want the small, oddly shaped ones… those are WAY more fun
)
September 19, 2011 at 12:12 pm
Dammit! Yet more evidence that I’m old.
September 19, 2011 at 12:16 pm
Just keep the lid on it..no one will ever know.
September 19, 2011 at 12:57 pm
@ Nana – that is why the opaque pill holders are better than those that are a little bit translucent.
And you can always put a couple Altoids Minis in the box, to make your meds look more interesting.
September 19, 2011 at 11:51 am
Saw the WTF regretsy as a thumbnail and thought it meant Welcome to Finland. Who knew it was such a versatile acronym!
September 19, 2011 at 3:00 pm
You can use it Multipurpose!
But you may not change the size of the smell.
September 20, 2011 at 6:46 am
Damn. Deal breaker…
September 19, 2011 at 11:51 am
This is a happy day indeed. Ive always lived by Groucho Marx’s motto, he wouldnt want to belong to any club that would want him as a member, but then, I remember you had no choice and now there is no turning back. So, next step, get brave and join April’s Army.
September 19, 2011 at 11:53 am
I make my vegan gravy with chardonnay. Assloads of it.
September 19, 2011 at 12:51 pm
This is Regretsy. You say assloads of chardonnay, my mind immediately conjures the image of the guy shooting purple paint out his ass, only now it’s chardonnay. I don’t want that gravy, no.
September 19, 2011 at 1:01 pm
There’s always J&D’s Bacon Gravy Mix. It’s vegetarian, though, not vegan. I have some extra packets I could donate to the cache of worthless prizes….
September 19, 2011 at 11:53 am
Jackfruit and Soy Gravy Recipe:
Ingredients:
1 package silken tofu
6 oz dried jackfruit
1 pound ground pork sausage
3 tablespoons bacon grease
1/4 cup all-purpose flour
3 cups heavy whipping cream
salt & pepper to taste
Directions:
1. Give tofu to hippie neighbor.
2. Put jackfruit in the pantry where it will be forgotten for the next 5 years.
3. In a large skillet over medium-high heat, brown sausage. Set aside sausage, leaving drippings in skillet.
4. Add bacon grease to sausage drippings and combine.
5. Reduce heat to medium, combine with flour, and stir constantly until mixture just turns golden brown.
6. Slowly whisk cream into the skillet until mixture thickens and begins to bubble.
7. Return the sausage to skillet and combine.
8. Season with salt and pepper to taste.
9. Reduce heat, and simmer for about 15 minutes.
September 19, 2011 at 12:01 pm
I use the same recipe, but in step one, I throw the tofu directly at the head of some dirty, Patchouli-stinking, unshaven-armpit hippie after she tries to call me “mama.”
September 19, 2011 at 8:21 pm
I’m an old hippy, and even I won’t eat tofu.
September 19, 2011 at 12:19 pm
I’m half Asian and I’ve long been offended by how completely vegetarians and health food nuts have appropriated tofu. Tofu was born to be deep-fried, baby.
September 19, 2011 at 12:38 pm
This vegetarian deep-fried her tofu. Of course, I’m Southern — I have yet to meet something I can’t fry.
September 19, 2011 at 12:56 pm
This is why I miss the South. People here don’t know how to deep fry worth a damn.
Though having seen my childhood neighbors deep fry Twizzlers, that’s not always a bad thing…
September 19, 2011 at 2:50 pm
Pensenvy, you should try a deep fried snickers, with vanilla ice cream. Mmmmmm Some things should never be deep fried, but damn… certain things you would never think of breading and frying in bubbling grease turn out to be fucking delicious!
September 19, 2011 at 12:54 pm
When I was a veggie, I deep-fried my tofu plenty of times. I’m back to being an omnivore, but I still love my deep-fried tofu. Especially fried in bacon grease.
September 19, 2011 at 12:54 pm
One of the people in the Quaker community house (what you all would call a ‘dirty hippie commune” but is actually on the clean and moderate side compared to some of them) liked to fry her tofu in butter. It makes sense, of course, because how can anything cooked in butter not be better than the same thing not cooked in butter?
I tend to eat mine pan fried in olive oil and lemon juice, but I actually have a favorite tofu (local, organic, small batch ’boutique’ tofu, thank you very much. Also, very cheap and tasty.)
September 19, 2011 at 1:53 pm
Quaker community? Err…waitsnow. I was clerk of our meeting for four years. Burnt out, then I found Regretsy. Need I say more?
September 19, 2011 at 2:56 pm
I went to a Quaker school, but I’m not familiar with a community house.
September 19, 2011 at 3:01 pm
oohhh ..so did my son… Quaker school, now at a Quaker college. Enough to turn him into what he defines as an ignostic. Quaker community house sounds like a residential house in a college…
September 19, 2011 at 3:58 pm
My dad’s family are all Quakers. They never did forgive him for enlisting in Vietnam. This is why the most religious thing I ever heard my dad say was when he said Steven Seagal looked like Jesus after he (Seagal) woke up from his coma in Hard to Kill.
September 19, 2011 at 6:35 pm
I have never been to a Quaker school, college, or community…but what I do know is those Quakers make some dang fine oatmeal.
September 20, 2011 at 2:48 pm
It’s just (if I say ‘a group home” it just sounds wrong.) an Intentional Community run on quaker principles, etc etc. http://bhfh.org/
September 19, 2011 at 2:27 pm
I pan-fry mine in black sesame oil and a dash of soy sauce
September 19, 2011 at 4:04 pm
That’s how I eat Quakers, too.
(sub-level comments knocked the fuck out of your context.)
September 19, 2011 at 7:43 pm
I like your use of ingredients. You missed one though; I don’t see “Garnish with shot glass filled with your choice of booze.”
September 19, 2011 at 11:54 am
YES. YES. YES!!!!!!
-A Finn
September 19, 2011 at 12:01 pm
BESIDES, I REALLY NEEDED A PILL ORGANISER SO THIS IS PERFECT.
September 19, 2011 at 11:56 am
Literally just lost my job an hour ago so the more flasks come at a very unfortunate time
September 19, 2011 at 12:07 pm
Well, shit, I’m really sorry about the job . . . sounds like this is one of those times when you need a flask the MOST.
September 19, 2011 at 12:13 pm
Talk about a bummer. Giving you an internet hug right now.
September 19, 2011 at 1:13 pm
I feel your pain–last week my company ‘decided not’ to renew my contract. This makes twice in 18 months I’ll be unemployed.
September 19, 2011 at 1:41 pm
/hug I’ve been laid off since Christmas, so I feel your pain. I hope you find something soon!
September 19, 2011 at 3:01 pm
That’s so shitty badwolf. If I actually made money at my job, I’d buy you a flask AND a pill organizer… Alas, i don’t make shit most of the time. Every one is broke, can barely buy food and pay for a place to live… Not too many people are forking over cash for a massage. Even though it’s a NEED for a lot of people, it’s one of the first “luxuries” they give up make ends meet
I wish I could help, but at least I can offer Internet hugs 
I hope this shitiness leads to bigger, better opportunities! (Just wanted to say if i were RICH, BITCH! I’d be stomping on couches and passing out flasks and pill organizers… fuck, pills too! If only I had money… Think of all the good I could do!)
September 19, 2011 at 3:38 pm
I haven’t had a massage in about two years and I’m eagerly awaiting an improvement in my job situation so I can get back to having them.
My regular masseur was a high school friend, which wasn’t awkward at all…
September 19, 2011 at 6:34 pm
I often have no one to watch my toddler, when I’m not working. So even though I know a shit ton of therapists, i can’t even trade! I feel your pain mapleleaves.
And personally, I could give exactly zero fucks WHO is massaging me, as long as they know what they’re doing! I don’t need someone to rub lotion on me, I need someone to jump up and down on my back to force it into submission! I like it like that
September 19, 2011 at 3:40 pm
Well cheezus, that sucks. I hope you get a flask, some booze to fill it, and a new job ASAP.
September 20, 2011 at 7:27 am
I want to add to that beautiful sentiment, lemon bombs… I also wish for you a pill organizer that runneth over
September 19, 2011 at 11:56 am
Does anyone realize that clicking on the link the letters actually say
HELLO FINLAD 4 L
Is this meant to be some sort of Finnish Shirtless Mike that we’ve yet to experience?
If so, I’m in!
September 19, 2011 at 12:00 pm
It did say:
H E L L
O F I N
L A N D
C F 4 L
But some things seem to have been sold.
September 19, 2011 at 12:04 pm
This means no Shirtless Fins?
Now I definitely need the flask
September 19, 2011 at 12:21 pm
I agree. Shirtless Finns should have been one of the rewards.
September 19, 2011 at 12:33 pm
fixed it!
September 19, 2011 at 3:04 pm
Well done, friend. That brought a big smile to my face
The news of being funded definitely did, too!
September 19, 2011 at 2:01 pm
See, I spent 5 minutes pondering what part of the Midwest fell into the category of the Hell of Inland.
September 19, 2011 at 2:15 pm
Kansas.
September 19, 2011 at 11:58 am
This is so cool. I absolutely must meet you downtown for some Hot Bulls!
September 19, 2011 at 1:16 pm
Perkele!
September 19, 2011 at 3:55 pm
I read that as Hot Balls….
September 19, 2011 at 4:52 pm
Oh, dearie dear. Google finally came through for me on that.
I used to be partial to Goldschlager; I suppose it would work. Dammit, Regretsy! *Chains self to wagon
September 19, 2011 at 11:58 am
I’m getting paid tomorrow so what the hell. A flask and a book for me, a card and a worthless bonus item for my sister. It’s going to be a fantastic Christmas, I tell ya what.
My dad will probably wonder what Regretsy is and why I’ve given money to it at all (occasional allowances is a good trade for his old man nosiness, I think), but once I tell him it’s for a charity trip to our homeland, I’m sure he’ll be pleased as punch (the kind I’ll be filling my flask with, hopefully).
September 19, 2011 at 12:03 pm
Oh shit, Regertsy flasks?
why must I be broke
September 19, 2011 at 12:14 pm
Someone said gravy?
September 19, 2011 at 1:03 pm
Somehow more erotic than it should be.
Stack me between two beefy boys and ladle on the gravy!
September 19, 2011 at 1:43 pm
I don’t know what the context is here, but it’s terrifying me.
September 19, 2011 at 8:27 pm
Kinda reminds me of pictures of my son’s last furry convention.
He’s an adult. There’s nothing I can do…
September 19, 2011 at 12:25 pm
Are you going to learn the tango in order to fully participate in Finnish social activities while you’re there?
September 19, 2011 at 12:26 pm
I asked this on Kickstarter, and I’ll ask it here. I bought one of the $65 flask sets, is there a difference between them and the $60 ones you posted later, besides the $5??? (I’m still hinting at the addition of the audio track)
September 19, 2011 at 12:52 pm
From the latest update:
“NOTE: If you paid $65 for this premium when I had accidentally priced it too high, I will be sending you something so amazing that you will forget about being screwed out of five bucks.”
September 19, 2011 at 4:56 pm
LOL @ your paraphrase appearing perfectly acceptable (unless it’s verbatim from another source; I only looked at the Kickstarter page).
September 20, 2011 at 12:50 pm
It was copied verbatim from the update on Kickstarter – you have to look at the updates tab to see it.
September 19, 2011 at 1:33 pm
Ah, missed it. Sorry.
September 19, 2011 at 12:27 pm
SOMEBODY PINCH MY NIPPLES!!! YAY!!!
September 19, 2011 at 2:30 pm
come closer…
September 19, 2011 at 3:06 pm
Watch this and live vicariously. http://tosh.comedycentral.com/video-clips/sensitive-nips
September 19, 2011 at 8:31 pm
Damn. About a third of the way through, I made my husband come in and watch with me. It did not have the effect that I’d hoped it would. o_0
September 19, 2011 at 12:32 pm
Hmm… I have lots of vitamins and meds. I could really use that pill box… Aggggghhhhhhhhh! I hate you right now, HKpril. You’re an evil temptress and I’m trying to be a good girl so I can buy groceries. ♥
September 19, 2011 at 12:40 pm
I wish I had money. Instead, I have a cat whose emergency vet bills ought to elevate her to purebred-status in monetary value alone. But hey — at least it wasn’t kidney failure!
September 19, 2011 at 12:46 pm
I wish I had money too. Nikita had surgery twice this year, in the spring and just two weeks ago, now I have to take him to the vet again tomorrow, to get sedated to get the stitches removed, more $$$…Then Belle needs a dental cleaning…then for both of them there is frontline & heartgard monthly and shots every year…it never stops.
I feel your pain…but their unconditional love and goofiness is all worth it…hang in there!
September 19, 2011 at 1:45 pm
Last time we had an emergency vet run it turned out to be rare, untreatable cancer, so I was fearing the worst for the remaining of the two older cats. Fortunately, it was just a garden-variety infection! Of course, the cat still gets better (and more frequent) medical care than I do.
September 19, 2011 at 12:48 pm
ENJOY HELLsinki, DEVILS!
Did you budget for one of those head-mounted webcams so we can live vicariously through you on your trip?
September 19, 2011 at 12:52 pm
All the vegans out there who are not hella dumb just sub goldern curry for gravey. LIKE DUH APRIL.
September 19, 2011 at 1:14 pm
Maybe if you had some protein once in a while you could remember how to spell “gravy”.
September 19, 2011 at 1:15 pm
It’s not a very common word.
September 19, 2011 at 1:19 pm
You were
September 19, 2011 at 1:38 pm
And “golden.”
September 19, 2011 at 2:05 pm
Or possibly “gol durn” As in “Gol durn it!”
September 19, 2011 at 1:46 pm
It’s not the lack of protein; it’s that vodka is also vegan, so you can drink all you want — that’s what leaves you unable to spell.
September 19, 2011 at 4:17 pm
Haha, my bad. I keep forgetting my work browser does not have an automatic spellcheck.
Seriously though, I would recommend trying golden curry (fried with onions and simmered until thick) poured on pretty much anything you would typically use gravy on. Every Thanksgiving forever got better after I started doing that.
September 19, 2011 at 5:10 pm
I still call foul. I’ve never intentionally used spellcheck in my life. But I’ll give you a thumb-up for your screen name.
Well, half of it.
You guess which half.
September 19, 2011 at 1:37 pm
I’m so happy, I could burst into song!
Finland, Finland, Finland
The country where I want to be
Pony trekking or camping
Or just watching TV
Finland, Finland, Finland It’s the country for me
You’re so near to Russia
So far from Japan
Quite a long way from Cairo
Lots of miles from Vietnam
Finland, Finland, Finland
The country where I want to be
Eating breakfast or dinner
Or snack lunch in the hall
Finland, Finland, Finland Finland has it all
You’re so sadly neglected
And often ignored
A poor second to Belgium
When going abroad
Finland, Finland, Finland
The country where I quite want to be
Your mountains so lofty
Your treetops so tall
Finland, Finland, Finland Finland has it all
September 19, 2011 at 1:39 pm
Yay, welcome to Finland!
In order to get oriented to Finnish culture and mentality, I’d like to recommend some musical “masterpieces”.
First is Klamydia – Juhannuksena (At Midsummer). Yes, band’s name is STD. The chorus is in English: “Shut up, I’m very drunken today” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BjaXRWnrfcs
Next is Hector – Juodaan viinaa (Let’s drink some booze). Chorus: “let’s drink some booze so we get smarter” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=quLFDSzP0LI
September 19, 2011 at 1:40 pm
Third is Irwin Goodman – Ei tippa tapa (A drop doesn’t kill). Chorus: “A drop doesn’t kill, and you can’t get drown in a bucket. Now that we have begun [the drinking], we might as well continue [it].” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=leSS06OhXDI
Fourth is Eppu Normaali – Baarikärpänen (A bar fly). Chorus: “So every morning we rush to drink, and when the day is over, we drink even more. I want to be drunken always and at Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday too.” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=meJHxsi-t50
Enjoy!
September 19, 2011 at 1:44 pm
Yay!!! And also OMGOMG, can you get the pill box in a version that has both am and pm segments on it? Because I’ll buy another book just for that, for serious!
September 19, 2011 at 1:47 pm
Again, I have ‘Kung Fu Fighting’ performed in Finnish on LP. Just in case anyone needs it.
September 19, 2011 at 2:32 pm
do want
September 19, 2011 at 1:49 pm
Randy hai haukkuu keskiyöllä. huolta et jää kiinni hänen mehut
September 19, 2011 at 2:00 pm
check out http://satwcomic.com/
plenty of strange stereotypes in there.
September 19, 2011 at 2:22 pm
That is such a great comic. It’s absolutely worth the time to read!
September 19, 2011 at 2:59 pm
I love that comic! And the homoerotic spy story done by the same artist.
September 19, 2011 at 4:16 pm
I want to give who ever originally posted a link to those comments in the CF4L forums a big fat smooch!
September 20, 2011 at 9:45 am
It might have been me. I know I was repeatedly yelled at for finding people yet another place on the Internet to waste hours.
September 19, 2011 at 2:22 pm
REGRETSY: Going to Helsinki in a Handbasket!
September 19, 2011 at 3:00 pm
I think that’s Austria. The hills are alive with the sound of fuckery.
September 19, 2011 at 3:37 pm
it’s a poppy field…so maybe it’s Oz
September 20, 2011 at 3:22 am
Shut up! Austria is totally on the way to Finland!
September 19, 2011 at 2:44 pm
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September 19, 2011 at 3:30 pm
Hullunkuriset kimaltelevaa ilon kyyneleitä!!!
September 19, 2011 at 2:47 pm
I can’t wait to get my flask and fill it with lighter fluid, to honor all my Fat, Jealous Finnish Loser Brothers and Sisters.
September 19, 2011 at 2:52 pm
Ok, now im tempted. The flask didn’t get me cause I don’t really drink, but damn do I got a lotta pills to take. They’ll make such a happy rattling sound in that little case. You do know your fans, HK.
September 19, 2011 at 3:02 pm
Wow. When I woke up it was at exactly $50,000. Now that I’m off work and enjoying am adult beverage, it’s at $52,000.
I should keep drinking and it will keep looking prettier.
September 19, 2011 at 4:17 pm
Many things do.
September 19, 2011 at 6:46 pm
everything does….everything
September 19, 2011 at 3:15 pm
DAMN YOU, HELEN KILLER! I don’t *have* $40 to pledge to get that pill case! Especially because I need two, one for my morning meds and one for my evening meds. DAMN YOU STRAIGHT TO HELL!
September 19, 2011 at 3:29 pm
Damn it! Now I have to upgrade my pledge again. Must have pill case . . .
I hope it’s big, because I take a lot of meds!
September 19, 2011 at 6:25 pm
Too bad KickStarter wasn’t around a few years ago, when you resorted to flashing Louie-the-Butcher to raise money…
September 20, 2011 at 10:19 am
I still might have done it.
September 19, 2011 at 6:40 pm
I couldn’t help but hear the title of the post in Hannibal Lechter’s voice… Hello Clark… Er, Finland
Seems like a good fit! Oh boy, I can only imagine what the moose will be thinking… “who the fuck are these guys?! Fuck it, let’s go score more booze.” Because in my strange lil mind, even the moose in Finland get trashed. Oh, the fuckery to come… 
September 19, 2011 at 6:41 pm
Kiss my ass, autocorrect. That was supposed to be Clar, not Clark. Douche nozzle of a phone…
September 20, 2011 at 9:47 am
Clark Howard? With a nice Chianti in a box from Costco?
September 20, 2011 at 12:27 pm
Exactly. You get me, mapleleaves <3
September 19, 2011 at 6:45 pm
I upped my pledge in the middle of the night to help get closer to the goal even though the flasks were sold out and I REALLY F-ING WANTED ONE…then today while I was at work she added more flasks and I once again missed out on them! BLAST!!! I wanted one soooo freakin bad, but I will just stick to drinking straight out of the bottle as I read my book printed on super rad art paper
Also I got my prize box in the mail today! First thing I did was hang up my stuffed goldfish in a very prominent place on my wall. I was so stoked! Today was a great freakin day:)
September 19, 2011 at 7:55 pm
Congrats on your goldfish! I’d have bet anything that you were going to get the raisin vagina instead.
September 19, 2011 at 8:17 pm
There’s our fund raising slogan. “I upped my pledge, now up yours!”
September 19, 2011 at 8:00 pm
OMG where can I get just the pill organizer?? I’m medicated, and I need that now!
September 19, 2011 at 8:03 pm
If the pill organizer ever sells as an individual item, you are SO going to get flooded with orders. We’re all medicated for your protection, you know.
September 19, 2011 at 8:03 pm
Now soliciting tips on how to get my hands on lipeakala/lutefisk! I live in California, it’s not common fare around these parts.
September 19, 2011 at 8:14 pm
This. Is. JACKFRUIT.
The LEAST obnoxious picture I could find.
Thank you, I’ll just have the pineapple rings.
September 19, 2011 at 8:19 pm
Looks like barnacle covered spaghetti squash. Good or not (I have no idea) but amazing to think about who was the first person to decide that it was edible.
September 19, 2011 at 8:38 pm
Probably related to the first person to chow down on an artichoke.
September 19, 2011 at 10:17 pm
That looks like pumpkin linguini in a dragon hide.
September 20, 2011 at 9:50 am
It looks like the softer, daintier version of a durian.
September 19, 2011 at 9:02 pm
HK, now you’ve gotten to the goal, could you please add options to pledge for different individual items? I’d love to get the special audio track, but I’ve blown most of my $$ on the flask (plus, natch, the booze to fill it). If the audio track was available by itself, it would be very tempting!
September 19, 2011 at 9:19 pm
September 19, 2011 at 9:19 pm
Whoops… couldn’t get that Finland song by Monty Python to embed. Of well. Here’s the link:
http://youtu.be/7rwc3VGvlRY
September 20, 2011 at 1:44 am
God, we’re such fat jealous losers aren’t we?
September 20, 2011 at 4:20 am
I can’t believe that they are gone already! You’ve dashed my hopes of sly drinking April Winchell!
September 20, 2011 at 12:25 pm
OMFGBBQWTF! I am so broke, but the pill case may be the thing that gets me to spend money.
September 20, 2011 at 12:33 pm
Do it. I shamelessly begged my husband for money he didn’t have to get me a book. And your pills will thank you
I know I’m a bad influence, but it’s in the name of fuckery! Besides, if you can’t afford food, you can just survive on a liquid diet. 
Not necessarily a bad option… (Come to the dark side… we have cookies! With level 4 cat and a one eared elephant!)