1. BUY HIDEOUS 80′s WINDBREAKERS FROM GOODWILL
2. SEW THEM ALL TOGETHER AND WAIT FOR NO ONE TO BUY IT
Isn’t the listing fee 20 cents?
Yes, which means this dress has been relisted over 5600 times.
Yeah. I guess it really adds up if you take into consideration that this dumpster fire must’ve started back when windbreakers were hot shit.
…you mean they’re not currently hot shit?
Now, just shit.
At 4 months per 20 cent listing fee, that means this monstrosity has been listed and relisted consistently for the past 1867 years, assuming she had it relisted within moments of each time it closed.
Since we all know that’s unlikely, as she was often out scrounging for dead ‘brellas, it’s safe to round that to about 2000 years, more or less.
Perhaps now we understand why a certain deity felt it necessary to send His offspring down in an attempt to offset the sin of this outfit’s creation.
Oh, thank God someone did the math for me. It’s Friday, and I’m drunkinated.
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
If she had left that line out about the relisting I wouldn’t have cared one way or another. She has no idea how much that cheapens her listing.
The dress is pretty ok; kind of a neon Lady Gaga thing going on. The price is a little over the top, but really, when I was in high school in the early ’90s girls were spending as much as $300 on prom dresses, so really $1100 isn’t that much of a stretch for something one-of-a-kind. What it comes down to is that I wouldn’t have thought twice about it except for that last line.
$1100 is almost four times $300. That’s a pretty big difference.
I’m thinking in terms of inflation. It’s also been almost 20 years since the early ’90s when the girls I was talking about were buying prom dresses.
yeah, but we’re looking at an OOAK upcycled dress that Cyndi Laiper would have rocked in the 80′s
What cost $300 in 1990 would cost $494.01 in 2010 according to The Inflation Calculator on http://www.westegg.com/inflation/ So, yes. That’s DEFINITELY a stretch.
Ok, ok, not exactly inflation. It’s more like how gas prices have gone up. I paid $.99/gallon for gas in high school, and it’s almost $4/gallon now.
So snowgirlsungirl, looks like now it costs more to buy the gasoline to set fire to it.
That’s due to the price of oil, which unless I’m mistaken has nothing to do with prom dresses.
unlike Gas, this thing can’t used to power a car. No…gas isn’t WORTH 4 dollars a gallon, but I’d be willing to pay 4 times $4 for a gallon to burn that dress.
@Anita: I dunno…I’m pretty sure there were some petroleum products harmed in the making of that monstrosity.
Well the fabric is basically plastic and plastic is made from oil so the cost of oil does affect the price of plastic fabric. That ignores the point that prom dresses should never be made of plastic.
I get that you’d like to wear something one-of-a-kind for Prom and spending cash shouldn’t be an issue… but how the f’ will a 15-17yo girl not be mocked for the rest of her life for showing up to prom in 3 windbreakers sewn together AFTER her dad had to mortgage their home to pay for it?
Even Dolly Parton (who sang “coat of many colors”) is shaking her head
For $1200 she could be shitting Swarovski crystals out of her dress. Or, get two windbreakers. It’s a hard call.
For that price I’d expect at least two fanny packs for a bustle and a fascinator with a windsock.
$1125 plus $45 shipping and handling. Well, I might have been willing to pay the $1125, but the shipping and handling is the breaking point for me. I mean to stuff a bunch of trash into a box shouldn’t be more than $4.99. Me thinks I am getting ripped off…
Etsy has it’s own inflation mathematics. Glue(or stitch) shit to other shit, multiply what the shit costs you by 1000.
I agree. I actually really like it. I’ve made some stuff out of old 80′s windbreakers that look awesome, and people want me to sell my stuff, but I’m like “no, I’d have to charge an arm and a leg for it, its not as much fun when you are doing it for money” And boy do these things make great rave wear. They glow great under UV and are nearly impossible to stain. They are playa proof for burning man, too.
If I wore that to prom everyone would think I was the hired clown, or a crashed hot air balloon….
They hired a clown for your prom?
They should have, for mine. The whole thing was a joke, at least until the head of the cheerleading squad leaned too close to the candle on her table to snicker about one of the fat girls on the dance floor, and all the hairspray she was wearing went up in flames. To make matters even more amusing, the stuffed pink frilly marshmallow sitting next to her immediately doused her head in the nasty sticky “punch” that no one had bothered spiking.
The following year, “Carrie” hit the NY TImes bestseller list “based on a true story”
Val, how the hell old do you think I AM??? This was in small-town Oklahoma in 1986, when hairstyles were all the rage if they were either highly teased and welded into place with AquaNet, or “short & sassy” Pat Benatar coifs. Bonus points for the all-over curly perm.
thank you PC, for reminding me of my hideous all-over perm from that era, which was totally Barbara Streisand a la “A Star Is Born”.
and the nightmares begin…
A fellow Okie Regretsian! You fail to mention that the all-over perm and liberal AquaNet usage is still the fashion…
@PaganChick: Didn’t anyone use Stiff Stuff down there? It was all the rage up here in NYC/NJ (ESPCECIALLY New Jersey). Fortunately I was no longer a teen and actually read the ingredients. The first or second one translated to “glue.” I never had any intention of using it…on my hair, but it did come in handy for crafting when my glue gun ran dry. I really miss that stuff!*
*No I don’t, and I never used it for crafts.
@MB Nah, not anymore. I left in ’95, and haven’t been back much to notice the current hairstyles..
@Mugsy Nope, it was a VERY small town (population just shy of 1500), and we didn’t have “citified” stuff like that. Hell, we didn’t even get a bar of our own til 1984, and it closed down a couple years later due to lack of interest.*
*Meaning the guy who opened it “weren’t frum ’round here”, and the town alchies didn’t trust him, so drove to the next town over to get sauced.
You were that stuffed pink frilly marshmellow, weren’t you?
@Pie Dear GODS no. I was in a classic floor length ruby red taffeta princess cut gown with a gored waist and slightly plunging sweetheart neckline. Ya know, the classy way to bring emphasis to the boobs and away from the butt.
@ mugsy doodle->>@PaganChick: Didn’t anyone use Stiff Stuff down there? It was all the rage up here in NYC/NJ
I like to use stiff stuff down there…..actually I don’t even mind it up here either…..
PaganChick: your actual age was of no importance to the joke
…they didn’t for yours?
No, they didn’t hire a clown, but that would have been an improvement either way.
It looks like Gwen Stefani threw up on Cyndi Lauper.
Yeah. Every teenage girl wants a parachute erection dress.
‘Buy your reborn dress now and I’ll throw in the rain boot afterbirth!’
All the better to stain the hotel mattress with later that night!
did she just birth a fuzzy bee?
DON’T. MOVE. A. MUSCLE. There’s a giant bumble bee on your foot. If you stand still, maybe it will just leave you alone…
Oops, sorry, Monkey Chowder! Great minds think alike!
no worries! in my haste to post it wasn’t well done – yours is much better (written AND rec’d – a thumbs up in your direction ;p)
Reminds me of the scene in ‘Caveman” when Atook smushes the giant bug on Lar’s face, then calmly goes to sleep.
And yes, I realize that my knowing that scene so well probably means I should get out more often, and stop re-watching old VHS tapes.
No, it doesn’t.
Just spit hummus over the keyboard, not on it, fortnately. But now my stapler smells like garlic.
Garlic-scented stapler? TO ETSY!
WOW, and it only costs .20 cents to relist on Etsy, so buying this piece of shit now means you only spend $1125 instead of $1125.20
ONLY $1125…works for me…oh, wait, I’m supposed to pay her? I thought she was offering money for someone to take that hot mess off her hands. Fuck that noise!
Quick, someone tell that caterpillar crawling up her foot that she isn’t wearing it’s cocoon.
Oh, but the seller wants to save all the fucking polar bears. So that makes this… okay.(?)
I hope every single one of you can hear me rolling my eyes from right where you are.
I’ll have you know, polar bears live for upcycled windbreakers.
Don’t get it twisted. Reborn, mmkay?
=P I refuse your reality and substitute my own.
I think I like it being categorized as “reborn.” It’s pretty obvious that many somethings died to create it, and Miss Female Colorblindness Awareness 1983 up there had to resurrect it in bits and pieces. Like Dr. Frankenstein.
My daughter’s homecoming dance dress that she wore last Saturday cost $40. Granted, we got it on the clearance rack, but even at full price it wasn’t too bad. Certainly no one suspected she been serially-killing clowns all last year to wear their pelts to the dance.
Aaron. I’ve been looking for a quote to put in my craft room. You have made my life….
Misery, i think it’s actually “I reject your reality” but my voices said otherwise last night
Like a box of chocolates, with sweet yummy truffles inside.
“….no one suspected she been serially-killing clowns…”
“…crashed a hot air balloon..”
“….stuffed pink frilly marshmellow…”
Really people, I’m crying from laughter!
The polar bears are delighted to see nobody liked that joke, so in gratitude they would like to invite you all up for a nice cup of hot chocolate.
Maybe Lady Gaga would like to buy this outfit.
Lady Gaga has better taste than that.
I was logging in to say that. Lady Gaga at Katy Perry’s 80s party.
But whoever dresses Lady Gaga probably has their own supply of Random Crap to Glue Together.
So um, if you’re not making money on Etsy but you’re an award-winning (read: bat-shit crazy but revered for it) fashion designer, there’s your niche.
this is Cyndi Lauper style, not Lady Gaga.
Except for the passive aggressive marketing style, which is unique to the seller.
(I don’t know any successful artists that use PA marketing).
Lady Gaga tends to steal style.
yes. well, the artist has a combo style then.
but I still hold the passive aggressive marketing is her own — I wonder how its working for her.
Check out the last photo – that gal’s like “Damn, so this is what the walk of shame feels like”.
Is that her tail sticking out between her legs?
Look, lady, Nicki Minaj already HAS a dress like that. She doesn’t two. You’re going to have to keep listing until the next cartoonish pop star comes up through the ranks.
She doesn *need* two. But I might! Two more down here and make the second a double!
I even fucked that one up. Goodnight everybody!
Oddly enough, I understood every word of that..
Bartender! I’ll have another!
Let’s give a great big round of applause to Dinosaurland, everybody!! Isn’t s/he great?? Thanks for comin’ out tonight folks, don’t forget to tip your waitress, and be sure to check out the three headed gypsy by the door on your way home!!
i had to read it three times to spot the mistakes. I think the bartender needs to cut me off.
What. A. Piece. Of. SHIT!
Lady GaGa would pay for that. She’d probably want 20 more made to make her background dancers look like fools, too.
Well hell, if there are multiples of this monstrosity available, why not market it to Bridezillas? Guaranteed the pretty bridesmaids will NOT look better than the bride!
If I get divorced, and then subsequently marry for a 3rd time, I pinky swear promise all of my bridesmaids will be forced to wear this.
In that case, can I come to your next wedding? And will there be an open bar?
Yes, regretsy invites all around. I don’t think I could afford the bar tab for all of you alcoholic bitches, though.
I thought the bridesmaids dresses where suppose to match the napkins and table clothes at the reception hall dinner?
@I Like Pie, That could make for a really great (and cheap) wedding theme!
@Anita Cocktail, make it a deathmatch open bar. That would cover both entertainment and alcohol!
@Pie: Nope. Sole function of the bride’s maid, aside from deflecting or reining in the bat-shit crazy bride before the Big Day, is to look as hideous as possible ON the Big Day, to enhance the appearance of the bride herself and drive home to the groom just what a catch she is.
Well, that.. and to act as “prey” for all the single male attendees who only came to get laid.
Oh my eyes burn from all the neon. If someone bought this they would have to be blind especially to miss all the glaringly better clothing designers that sell better things for much less!
ugly dress pictures
Does she even realize she’s advertising the fact that no one buys her stuff?
Right? Whatever happened to projecting a successful image to become a success? But I suppose it’s difficult to be positive when slaving over your Singer and a pile of blinding nylon.
“You really owe it to yourself to buy this POS before it gets even more expensive”
Worst guilt trip ever.
It is the exact opposite of most stores’ marketing plans for unwanted, ugly merchandise.
Indeed. Awfully strange way to put something on “clearance”, that.
DON’T LIKE THIS DRESS?
BUY IT NOW BEFORE SOMEONE ELSE DOESN’T LIKE IT!
This whole shop makes me sad.
I particularly love the strapless bra-camel toe bike shorts ‘dress’
‘People have asked me if I use new umbrellas, NOPE! That wouldn’t be very ECO and basically taking the easy way out. These dresses are my blood and guts of hunting them down! ‘
I especially must have a strapless-bra-camel-toe-bike-shorts-and-discarded-umbrellas-and-blood-and-guts sunflower dress.
Something about that pink haired model makes me want to punch someone in the face.
I love the idea of upcycling, but I hate so much of the reality.
You know, being all passive aggressive isn’t going to get some poor girl to subject herself to wearing that atrocity to her prom, much less pay $1125 for the privilege.
Unless she’s going to the Spring Formal at a clown college.
Maybe if they throw in a free squirty corsage?
Some of the clothes in her/his store are actually really well made.
But LOL at the prices.
ETSY SELLER =/= DOLCE & Gabbana
not this one.
but i really like the hair. needs some good, expensive product on it, however, or else it’s gonna all come out in the comb.
I love her hair. If only I could be young again and have pink hair. Well, I just have to wait until I’m in the retirement home and they use the pink or blue rinse on me.
But it’s THE Janice Louise Miller.
If a small angry Asian woman hasn’t offered me a knock off of your stuff for thirty bucks, you’re not important.
This dress looks like I just tied the arms of 30 1980s windbreakers around my body. In fact, that might look better.
this was on etsy front page w/in the last few days, yes?
before i saw the second photo, i just thought her repainted fauxtail buttplug had fallen to new lows. maybe old lows, come to think of it. then again, it’s probably just been repurposed.
Reminds me of Cecelia Cassini
And I bet this seller’s many times her age.
I don’t really *need* that right now, thanks, so I think I’ll take my chances and wait until it’s $1,125.20.
A dress to break wind in.
I could use that right now.
You’re sharing again. Please stop.
Ugliness comes in hidden subliminal neon message for customers “Goddamnit, it costs me if you refuse to buy my ugly crap so I will punish you by telling stupid bitch customers this and giving threats and marking it very expensively”
Yes, this marketing strategy seems brilliant.
We can learn so much from this seller.
I’ll pay her .20 not to re-list this.
I will see your .20 and raise you .40!
Maybe we can take up a collection.
god help me I somehow find this thing awesome.
would I wear it? hell no.
well…. probably not, anyway.
I think I saw this in Alice Cooper’s “Welcome to My Nightmare” tour on one of the backup dancers
It has a certain funky charm…from the waist up. Everything south of that is a hot mess. Who looks good with a poofy crotch?
I would! I’ve made stuff like it. Someone even stole one of my pieces made out of old ski jackets from a photo shoot before I had a chance to wear it and it took me forever to make it.
If at first it doesn’t sell, keep raising the price until it does. Yeah, that makes sense.
If I wanted to wear a parachute to prom, I would have just went to the Army Surplus down the road.
Or, looking at the top half of the dress, Nicky Minaj’s re-imagining of “Alice in Wonderland”.
Are the shoes included? They make it look like her feet are being molested by a [insert creature with such a tail here].
By the way, is anybody browsing through Etsy actually looking for over $1000 worth of stuff to buy?
Nicky Minaj imagining/re-imagining things?
Please, you’re giving her too much credit.
Gimme a fucking break.
Placenta stains included in the price.
Is it called “Splish Splash dress” because it really makes you want to push the person wearing it into that pool?
Or off the cruise ship.
No, it’s called that because she thought of the idea while she was taking a bath (long about a Saturday night)
Too bad she got out of the bath.
What the fuck is that yellow and black giant caterpillary thing on her hind leg? Is it a growth on the shoe? Or has the dress mutated? Fashion zombieism is never pretty, just don’t let it replicate.
Sorry, fashion errors make me itch.
Just think, instead of spending $240 on a lovely deep blue, shimmery dress for prom, I could have bought THIS for $1125! Boy did I miss out. Then again, that was 10 years ago.
Then AGAIN, that might be how long she’s been relisting it for.
I like that she’s trying to be creative, but probably the best way to repurpose old ski jackets is to, you know, give them to the charities that give coats to poor kids? That seems more sustainable than a dress someone is hardly even likely to wear once.
Oh HELL – she’s a broken umbrella hoarder… from one of her other listings…
“I dress up in my most water proof clothing and venture out into the dark, cold rainy days & nights to hunt down broken umbrellas that were thrown onto the side walks of Montreal. I have two different pair of scissors that I bring with me to cut the umbrellas from the metal spider. I get a few strange looks but the outcome it worth it! On a good day I can find 30 broken umbrellas! Most are black but it is really exciting when I find one with cats or some other funky print!
This collection of Umbrella Couture is very rare due to the fact I have to depend on the weather! If it’s windy and rainy; all the better! It can take a year or more to collect enough umbrellas to make a collection such as this one. You don’t always find umbrellas that match enough to make a dress in one rainy day so I must wait for another to come along”
To be fair, her clothes need to be waterproof. You wouldn’t believe how many times people accidentally hurl foul liquids at them.
Wth… I’ve never seen 30 broken umbrellas in one day.
And I work in an umbrella factory.
Perhaps your town’s metal spiders ran off with all those ruined umbrellas.
Some spiders like to “collect” them but, in the darkness of their homes, they treat the stripped umbrella frames like the sex dolls the spiders fantasize them to be.
Just what I’ve always wanted: something made from discarded umbrella fabric that’s been laying in a rain washed gutter for Lord knows how long.
Possibly outside an especially skanky bar.
That just sad. Without help I give her 10 before she’ll be wandering the streets with a shopping cart full of old umbrella parts.
I know the navy experimented with dazzling colours as a form of confusing camouflage, but I didn’t know “fashion” had started it too.
When did the Navy stop this, after WW-2? I thought I read something about that 30 years ago, or had a real crazy dream….
We didn’t dress this horribly in the 80s. Ronald Reagan wouldn’t let us.
I’m in your 1980′s- stealing all of your neons…
Go ahead–you can have them!
Also, does it count as a dress if the bottom cuts off above your crotch, as in the Sunflower and Caterpillar party dresses?
Thank you, Lady Gaga, for making this sort of nonsense acceptable.
Dear god that thing is hideous.
Protip: when the Bond villian backdrop is more interesting than your item, abandon all hope of selling.
You know, her shop looks like a wonderful place to buy some very expensive, very creative clothing… if you are exactly her measurements. Maybe she wouldn’t sweat the listing fee so much if she made some sizes other than four.
“Reborn materials”? But… *wibbles* where are the placental stains?
I saw this dress at my Senior Prom. But that was the year there was a tremendous amount of Orange Barrel acid in town.
Quick, some animal is attacking that poor girl’s feet!
Reminds me of that musical…………. Joseph(ina) & the Amazing(ly awful) Technicolor (Bad-) Dreamcoat
my dad always referred to vomit as “technicolor yawn”… i’m now having a hard time separating that phrase from this dress.
It’s a threat. She’s punishing us for not wanting to buy that ridiculous thing, by making it less appealing to buy.
Someone has a tenuous grasp on the concept of supply and demand.
I often say I feel “20 cented to death” on Etsy… but this is extreme!!!
i realize you (HK) can’t load EVERYTHING – is there some way we can just log directly on to some stores and comment on every piece (of POS) they have? this store is definitely crying out for such an intervention.
…. god save the tube tops
Oh no…I better order now before it goes up to $1125.20!!
If something doesn’t sell, like in the real world of retail, doesn’t the price usually go DOWN? Assbackwards thinkin, sorta like the backward jacket dress she’s wearing.
I was just getting used to upcycled.
1. WTF is reborn material?
2. After seeing those grusome reborn babies, why would you want to use that term; and
3. Why is their a pup tent on that girl’s butt?
from what i can tell “reborn” is the new PC term for garbage.
I like to think that when she breaks wind, that pup tent on her butt billows out.
Okay, I have to say it…I’m sorry.
I actually think the umbrella dresses are kind of cute. I don’t know how comfortable they’d be, made from umbrella fabric and all, but the design is cute.
They’re shorts. Fabric that stops at the belly button isn’t a dress
Right now all the designers at the Members Only factory are hanging their heads in shame.
For 30 years they thought they were immune…until today.
Prom Dress??? No way that would take more than a bottle of boones farm and a safe cracker to get into and then think of the smell I mean “reborn material” eeewwwwww and she washes the material prior to using???? WTF how about after using it??? I guess that means it cums with things that look like those dried flakes around the top of your milk container???
I thought this one was actually passable as “fashion”. The model wears it nicely.
The rest: Really? Fox and Hound bedsheet upcycled ruffle dress thingy?
My brain hurts
you had me till i saw the sequin hearts (ala 10 yr old tap recital) on the ass…
that’ll teach me to only look at the front of the damned things.
oh well, the model is pretty cute, so there’s that
She bought that one from Forever 21, then tsjuzed it up by hot gluing those hideous hearts onto it
Finally, a prom dress that won’t look ridiculous with my Wendy’s Jazz Cap.
Someone should make a prom dress out of Zubaz!
Now that would be Klassy!
YAY! That link ruled!
I’ve had a few men who were curious to find out how much stuff I could fit into my Gismo….. so THIS is what they meant!!! http://www.etsy.com/listing/74427885/not-till-aftermidnight-vintage-gizmo
158 ADMIRERS, 37 TREASURY LISTS?
What the fucking fuck?? Has Michelle posed wearing this?
(On another note, I just realized I should be glad whenever I don’t get any of that thing called “admirers”, or the other one called “treasury lists”.)
She’s only had 9 sales in the past two years. I wouldn’t get too carried away by the number of “admirers.”
I suspect many people “admired” her so they could easily call up the page to show their friends, along the lines of “No, I’m NOT making it up! Here, let me pull up the page and show you!”
On the other hand, it’s uncommon for atrocities finding their way to regretsy to have even a couple of “admirers”, let alone hundreds of them!
I’m afraid this can only mean one thing, it starts with “handpicked” and ends in “item”.
Little Edie knew how to wear her upside-down garments and superfluous sleeves so much better!
I think Lady Dodo thatere has 2 penises
“there” even….okay its friday and the Landsharks are pouring
I like dresses that make a statement, especially if that statement is, “Every fiber of this thing was made by Du Pont.”
“Better Living Through Chemistry”—DuPont, 1950s
“Only Way to Like This is Through Chemistry. Pass the Bong.”—DuPont, 2011
The best thing abut this prom dress is it allows for convenient baby storage. “Don’t throw your baby away!”
Don’t forget the “easy access” zipper up the front.
ET phone home
son of a bitch. anyway have you seen this, it’s like a skants for your head
That is all kinds of wrong.
What do you mean? Didn’t you know that ninjas wear “rompers?”
Maybe she was wearing that when she “designed” the others, because you can’t get any oxygen in that bitch.
Looks like American Apparel threw up on that model.
I had a dream last night. I was sitting with a friend of mine at a party, and there was a large banner displayed: ” LET’S RAISE A TOAST FOR GOASTSES’” true story.
That should Be a “TOASTE FOR GOATSE”.
For $1,125 I expect my ultimate prom dress to be made out of 100% Reborn dolls.
I wouldn’t pay $11.25 for that ugly thing, much less $1,125!
You know what I thought when I saw this: Huh, that looks like Montreal. And I was right! That’s outside of the dome built for the 67 World’s fair. I used to live in Montreal. Sigh. P.S. That dress is ugly as shit.
she also upcycles Disney themed bedsheets: http://www.etsy.com/listing/74332334/vintage-disney-fox-and-the-hound?ref=v1_other_1
By sewing them to a bra. And calling it a top. True story.
In American movies, proms are always portrayed as the most important event in a young person’s life. If you’re the prom queen or king, or you were a cheerleader or a game-winning jock and got all the attention, then you have a massive ego about it for the rest of your life. But if, god forbid, you didn’t go to prom, or you committed some unforgivable faux pas such as wearing a cheap dress or not having sex afterwards – then you are a pathetic loser who will forever lament your wasted youth.
Please, please tell me that the movies are bullshit and it’s not really like that? The thought of a single event being SO important to an 18-year-old, makes me feel mortified on their behalf! I have very vague memories about being in my late teens, that time for me involved many low-budget house parties, and to this day I have still never spent more than £100 on a dress!
They’re bullshit and I was glad to get away from the assholes who thought that way. I went to the prom in a borrowed dress, BTW, and had an awesome time, but it was because I didn’t give a shit what the popular morons thought and just had fun with my friends.
Whoever wrote that is delusional (or they were Prom Queen). I was in no way popular, a cheerleader, or anything else, but I still went to the prom, in a dress my mother made for under $30, with my then fiancee, and I remember being happy to just be there. Mind you, I did spend a good deal of the evening worrying that my best friend (who was wearing a very low-cut red dress) was going to bend over the punch bowl and have a catastrophic wardrobe mishap, but in retrospect, it was actually rather amusing.
So don’t feel bad. I’ve never spent more than $40 on a dress in my life, and I’m 52.
I guess it’s just a lot of middle-aged movie writers/executives that are still hung up on their school days then!
1985-6, I had built it up into a big thing. I wanted to go, but in an “I don’t really care about you pretentious fucks” kind of way, showing up with a guy no one’s ever seen before, both of us in outfits analogous to the flip-flop-tied-to-the-head picture of April. Then the guy who was going to go with me backed out at the last minute. So no prom for me.
My neighbors had a “prom” for Halloween a couple years ago, and I went as a prawn. Life is good.
Couldn’t afford the prom ticket (it was over $50… might have been $100). Didn’t have a date (who might have been able to afford to buy me a ticket)… I cried at the time, because it all reinforced my fears that I was a freak and unlovable.
Yet somehow, managed to escape central PA anyway… now I live in NYC with my exotic (British! Yorkshire! Can call me lass without sounding poncy! swoon!) man, our two well-adjusted kids and enough spending money that I can buy good crap on Etsy.
…which this listing is not.
Eyup lass, I’m from Yorkshire!
I’m pleased to be ‘exotic’!
You’re all on crack. That thing is TOTALLY AWESOME! It’s TOTALLY RAD!! I’m gonna buy it and not just wear it to prom, I’m gonna wear it to a Duran Duran concert! Who cares that it’s $1200? My parents are Yuppies. Our IBM stock is through the roof.
I’m gonna start another one for you, made out of parachute pants and Vans sneakers.
Why couldn’t this have been posted two days ago before I put three patio umbrellas out in the trash? I could have rebirthed them into a lovely waterproof ball gown with an ever-increasing price tag, dammit.
I’d have figured out a way to use the metal spiders as a hoop skirt though.
Looks like Rainbow Brite and Lady Gaga have morphed together.
Some of her stuff is pretty awesome – http://www.etsy.com/listing/76482356/blue-lagoon-silk-angora-knit-evening
Some looks like something the costumer of Hackers would have loved.
It all looks well made, but it’s all out of my price range.
I agree with others that she really needs to take that line out of her listings. Especially if she’s charging that much, it just makes her work not sound worth her prices.
$229…?! Look at the bloody hem on it! Move the decimal point back two spaces and I might think about it, but even then… nah
Good point. Was busy making dolls for my preschool, wasn’t looking closely enough.
This looks like the result of a Project Runway challenge wherein the contestants were forced to ransack a Kmart warehouse that’s still overflowing with stock from 1987. Not pictured: the winning garment—a surprisingly attractive jumpsuit made entirely out of gutted Carebears.
She learned her business model from Underpants Gnomes:
1) Collect Underpants
If she just took the time to take a picture where the model wasn’t farting and puffing out the back of the dress it might sell.
how to make money on etsy
step one: steal underpants
step two: ???
step three: profit
shit! someone already posted that cry
Well at least people will be able to see her at night so she won’t get run over. I think a satellite from space can see her perfectly as well
I thought this was just Lady Gaga’s latest outfit.
Aw, come on now – she’s had 11 sales. Don’t be so hard on her, she’s got to make money some how.
I always wanted a parachute I could wear as a dress, for those times when I’m attended a cocktail party at 30,000 and someone suggests air-diving for alcohol.
Damn. I put attended instead of attending and now I shall have my spelling licence revoked.
Even ignoring the blindingly awful color palate, what girl wants to look pregnant with a supernaturally HUGE ass for her prom?
She sold two identical one of a kind tunics. How does that work?
I say the seller gets bonus points for A.)using a moderately attractive “model” and B.)using an interesting background for this monstrosity.
Not so sure she is TRYING to make her ass look big. They look like MC Hammer pants to me
So this is what happens when you close your eyes, and sew! :O
Is it sad that my biggest wonder is whether or not the shoes are included? You could put this on a scarecrow and rest assured that no birds would come within five miles of your garden ever again.
I can picture some spoiled shit on that stupid Sweet 16 MTV show buying this piece of crap for her party.
Break the wind, windbreaker dress!
What a dress looks like after you let the model OD on heroin and die in it, then pose her, using glue, toothpicks, and other reclaimed materials. Oh so sad…the 80′s are dead, long live the 80′s.
What hath Gaga wrought?
When all else fails spam tag it with “The Hunger Games Effie Trinket Neon Splish Splash Prom Dress by Janice Louise Miller” because, you know that works everytime
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