This post first appeared on Regretsy on October 4, 2010
I AM GOING TO USE MY IMAGINATION AND THROW THIS JAR AT YOUR HEAD BUT THAT IS MY IDEA AND IT IS COPYRITED AND SHOULD NOT BE COPIED
Can I get one with John the Baptist?
Ooooooh, can you make mine a John the Baptist bobble head?
No. Because John the Baptist’s head would have to be removable. And you can’t do that to a bobble-head.
Rossibly, although the silver, watercress-trimmed platter would most likely not be included.
Also, what is that creature on his/her/its head?
That’s me. That photo was taken back in my hippie days.
@Steampunk Octopus, I now suspect that you are secretly Cousin It.
Tentacle dreads? Didn’t even know that was possible. I’ve said it before but it bears repeating, Regretsy is SO educational.
Also, that should say “Possibly.” Apparently I go into Scooby-Doo mode after 3 AM.
I like the idea – if, after 3:00, everyone had to go into “SD mode.”
WWSD?! What Would Scooby Doo?!
I see what you did there.
STEAMPUNK ORIGINAL JOHN THE BAPTIST ART DOLL JAR
Free Photo Editor
Made in my artistic ability, not my craftard ability.
I see we are going to have Blingee gigs in every thread now. I wonder if HK realized what she was about to unleash.
That was autocorrect – GIFS.
this was made with my glittertard ability, I admit.
I’ll take a Marie Antoinette. And then fill it with spring-loaded snakes. What can I saw, Halloween’s coming up and I need scary things.
What can I saw? Your homicidal side is showing!
Off with her head, and it has to come off somehow!
Go back to the picture of Sly’s mom; that should be all the scary you need.
I’ve always wanted to stuff my belongings deep inside Tyra Banks.
Who needs piggy banks when you could get Tyra Banks?
Yeah, poor-taste Mammie jars have only been around for what…a century and a half?
I gotta say, though…I’ve never seen one so creepy.
I like the looks of this one better:
The Tootsie Roll one is fabulous!
shit! i thought it was Oprah!
“Unscrew the head” and advertising don’t mix.
There actually isn’t anything left to put in the box, she stuck everything on it already.
Beyonce called & wants her busted ass weave back
I read that as “busted ass-weave”
An ass weave must make it difficult to use the bathroom. I’m guessing it would be as hard as that woman with the foot long fingernails.
It might make for interesting results for your rumpology session, though.
That would work too!!
It looks like the Joker put a smile on that face
Is it weird that I saw the title and expected something to do with cat litter?
I’m offended! Why are these only in black doll, not asian or pasty-pink bleached blond white sorority girl?? If you’re going to do it, do it all the way.
A sorority girl doll? It would be useless. All you could get in one of those would be a couple of match sticks & the doll would keep regurgitating those anyway.
That depends on if she’s a spitter or swallower.
or if you did get *it* in, she’d just deny it ever happened.
Sigh! The two of you have such dirty minds. Here I was trying to make a nice, eating disorder joke and you two just take it to the gutter.
Oh, I thought you were saying they’re so drunk all the time that they keep puking. I think that’s probably more typical of sorority girls than eating disorders.
I thought you said “…just take it IN the gutter.” And wondered what that meant, but didn’t really want to know.
@kantiankitten Wow! At least three ways to take it; a multipurpose comment!
She’ll need a new wig, mardi-gras beads and toga, but there you go.
I like the blue irises… What drugs do that to you?
Spice. Heard they have a stash on Arrakis.
@PaganChick I love you so hard right now!
I don’t know, but the sorority girls around here tend to be orange. I’ve heard some rumors involving Oompa Loompas, but I have no idea if they’re accurate or not.
I’m stuck trying to figure out if those are carpet remnants she hot glued to the side of the jar or if she shaved a family of bajingos for that “fur”.
Either way whatever it is needs to be shoved back into the same “box” that floating head/sad weave monstrosity was born from.
I doubt it was a family of bajingos. Bajingos are amongst the most wild of all undomesticated creatures and are known for their rabid tendencies. By the way I think it’s a flock of bajingos.
I think it’s a blush of bajingos.
I though it was a bush of bajingos!
A bagingo in the hand is worth two in the bush… wait a minute… how would that work???
“A hand in the bajingo is worth two in the goatse?”
I’m gonna go with either a gaggle, a dazzle, or a clutch of bajingos.
I think it’s a bedazzle of bajingos.
I prefer a clitter of bajingos, but that’s just me.
A family of shaved bajingos would lead to one of the most awkward of “Awkward Family Photos”.
I might be willing to buy something like this if the head was inside the jar. And it didn’t have all that tacky shit on the outside.
I think the contest broke regretsy, this is the only page that will load. that being said, that is one fugly ass item
Hmm, I guess this is one way you can repurpose merkins..
“GIVE A CREATIVE ART DOLL JAR.”
Gee, let me think, who do I hate that much??
This could be a new catchphrase. “I don’t give a creative art doll jar what you think!”
This is the perfect gift for my mother-in-law.
I’m not really an “art person”, but should that be listed as “abstract”? It’s NOT abstract, right? Because to me it’s CLEARLY supposed to be a black girl with a removable head.
My (white) grandparents used this as a doorstop for as long as I can remember. They didn’t remember which family member it came from. Once I got old enough, we joked that of course, as the mixed grandkid, I would get it when they died. It’s mine now. Aren’t you all jealous?
I’m pea green with envy!
Ummmm is that a cast iron Mammy bank? Cause if so, could be from the 1900s and worth a bit of cash.
It’s cast iron, but it’s not a bank. I’m sure it’s old. My grandparents had it in their house my entire life. (I’m 40) But, I’m not sure exactly how old it is, since they couldn’t remember which family member’s house it came from.
Thanks for the link!
I looked inside mine. It is a Hubley. Wow.
Forgot to add: Wow! That looks exactly like mine! Now you have me curious.
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Oh my – they gave Mammy the screw up her backside?
She looks annoyed.
Perhaps because she realizes that her great-great-granddaughter will have a screw-off head.
Hair? What the…
why would you…and the jar is so…
Sorry, I’m out, you guys are on your own for this one, I need more coffee.
My first thought when I saw this was, ‘Yeah, rite’.
I know, I wish I could delete that.
Really? This is “copyrited?” Because my great grandmother had one made out of a soap bottle instead of a jar 20 years ago and it didn’t look like a piece of zombified shitrag. I guess that makes it unique enough to “copyrite.”
I am going to add “looks like a piece of zombified shitrag” to my working vocabulary immediately. As I read it, a glittery tear came to my eye from its sheer beauty.
zombified shitrag – I think I jammed with those guys once
I do believe that’s a copyrong, not a copyrite.
I’m pretty sure that I’d be afraid to sleep with that in my house…
I don’t like the way it’s looking at me out of the corner of its eyes. I fell like it’s plotting…
More likely it’s begging you to kill it. Do it for the children, Aaron.
It would follow you around like the clown figurine in the USPS commercial… THE HORROR!
1. damnit, feel, not fell.
2. My brother and I used to have these creepy clown dolls that would laugh when you squeezed them, or at random times. Scared the hell out of me, especially after Poltergeist was released on video. Great way to traumatize a seven-year-old.
Yes, I used to have one of those as well. SCARY AS HELL!
Oh, don’t worry–jar lady is just doing her Susanna Hoffs impression.
She does look as though she will be walking like an Egyptian soon.
Last summer, my husband and I spent a week with his grandparents.
We were going to stay with some other relatives, but something fell through–and we ended up being given Grandma and Grandpa’s bedroom for the week.
This would have been charming, although embarassing. Except that Grandma collects dolls.
Imagine falling asleep to the roar of the air conditioner in the Louisiana night, knowing that if you turn on the light they’re ALL STILL THERE, the thousands of little faces looking down at you from EVERY WALL. Custom installed shelves. Grandma is also a carpenter. It was nightmarish.
your grandmother’s room made me think of this…
And your post reminded me of this Etsylike crap as art:
I’m imagining it filled with Kools.
dont forgetsy the grape soda.
I guess I’ll go to hell with you guys and say fried chicken.
Watermelon Now & Laters
Haha! Hell is going to be so much fun!
If you use real human heads would that still be infringing on her copyright?
Serious question: Can you copyright an idea that you didn’t originate, and had been around as long as creepy doll heads?
Snark: Or maybe she’s talking about the loverly images…
April, I know you have the copyright on throwing this at her but I’d be willing to pay royalties to do the same.
What is this? I don’t even…
“. . . remember something this disturbing from my bad-tuna-salad-induced nightmares”?
“. . . understand why the eyes always seem to follow me”?
“. . . know how my vintage plush bajingo collection would fit in there”?
DON’T LEAVE US IN SUSPENSE.
This also looks like something my cat threw up.
I’m sensing a trend, and possible genius ideas.
I should sell my cat’s hairballs on Etsy! I’ll be a millionaire!
I also hearby copyrite selling hairballs on Etsy.
spaces after commas are for squares…
with hair accessories on two lines I read it as two ideas for storage, thinking that someone might fill that with hair *shudder*. and apparently it only has enough room in its gullet for a single keepsake, so you’ll need more demon pickle jars for the rest of your souvenirs.
I just noticed that she held on to the junk drawer dolly for six years before deciding to part with it, or maybe its evil grip on her soul weakened.
Demon pickle jars… I need some of these. I’ve been contemplating making pickles for some time now, and just for that extra kick, they NEED to be made in demon pickle jars.
you should sell that on Etsy and copyrite it
Clearly, if you’re going to try to bust your way into the exclusive doll jar set of craftards, at least have the decency to spring for genuine materials. I demand real hair wigs on my doll jars. Some crafters have no shame. You can’t phone in this shit.
Perfect for those days when you just want to rip someone’s head off and crap down their throat!
If the seller can’t find a way to incorporate the words juxtapose, iconography or ethno-cyborg into the description then she cannot legally refer to it as “art”. Case dismissed.
“Ethno-cyborg”. Jesus, that’s a good phrase.
I stole it. Hope I don’t get a crease & desist notice.
All I keep thinking is African American Art bride of Chuckie.
I’m just picturing “copyriting” being something ancient sects of lawyers do in the woods. Possibly while naked, and involving bonfires and animal sacrifices.
NO! Not naked lawyers. There are exceptions, but overall that is not a pleasing thought.
This looks like something I could put my extended family collection of toe nail clippings in …
All you’re copyrited artwork are belong to us.
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