STEP OUT OF THE BOX
This post first appeared on Regretsy on October 4, 2010
I AM GOING TO USE MY IMAGINATION AND THROW THIS JAR AT YOUR HEAD BUT THAT IS MY IDEA AND IT IS COPYRITED AND SHOULD NOT BE COPIED
116 comments on STEP OUT OF THE BOX
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September 10, 2011 at 9:33 am
Can I get one with John the Baptist?
September 10, 2011 at 10:42 am
Ooooooh, can you make mine a John the Baptist bobble head?
September 10, 2011 at 7:38 pm
No. Because John the Baptist’s head would have to be removable. And you can’t do that to a bobble-head.
September 10, 2011 at 12:34 pm
Rossibly, although the silver, watercress-trimmed platter would most likely not be included.
Also, what is that creature on his/her/its head?
September 10, 2011 at 12:37 pm
That’s me. That photo was taken back in my hippie days.
September 10, 2011 at 12:52 pm
@Steampunk Octopus, I now suspect that you are secretly Cousin It.
September 10, 2011 at 1:30 pm
Tentacle dreads? Didn’t even know that was possible. I’ve said it before but it bears repeating, Regretsy is SO educational.
September 10, 2011 at 8:18 pm
Also, that should say “Possibly.” Apparently I go into Scooby-Doo mode after 3 AM.
September 10, 2011 at 10:55 pm
I like the idea – if, after 3:00, everyone had to go into “SD mode.”
September 11, 2011 at 12:38 am
WWSD?! What Would Scooby Doo?!
September 10, 2011 at 1:32 pm
I see what you did there.
September 10, 2011 at 5:07 pm
STEAMPUNK ORIGINAL JOHN THE BAPTIST ART DOLL JAR
Made in my artistic ability, not my craftard ability.
September 10, 2011 at 8:13 pm
I see we are going to have Blingee gigs in every thread now. I wonder if HK realized what she was about to unleash.
September 10, 2011 at 8:14 pm
That was autocorrect – GIFS.
September 12, 2011 at 7:23 pm
this was made with my glittertard ability, I admit.
September 10, 2011 at 9:41 am
I’ll take a Marie Antoinette. And then fill it with spring-loaded snakes. What can I saw, Halloween’s coming up and I need scary things.
September 10, 2011 at 10:54 am
What can I saw? Your homicidal side is showing!
September 10, 2011 at 1:06 pm
Off with her head, and it has to come off somehow!
September 11, 2011 at 6:23 pm
Go back to the picture of Sly’s mom; that should be all the scary you need.
September 10, 2011 at 9:46 am
I’ve always wanted to stuff my belongings deep inside Tyra Banks.
September 10, 2011 at 10:29 am
Who needs piggy banks when you could get Tyra Banks?
September 10, 2011 at 9:46 am
Yeah, poor-taste Mammie jars have only been around for what…a century and a half?
I gotta say, though…I’ve never seen one so creepy.
September 10, 2011 at 11:22 am
I like the looks of this one better:
or
September 10, 2011 at 11:28 am
The Tootsie Roll one is fabulous!
September 10, 2011 at 11:33 am
shit! i thought it was Oprah!
September 10, 2011 at 9:54 am
“Unscrew the head” and advertising don’t mix.
September 10, 2011 at 10:02 am
There actually isn’t anything left to put in the box, she stuck everything on it already.
September 10, 2011 at 10:10 am
Beyonce called & wants her busted ass weave back
September 10, 2011 at 10:22 am
I read that as “busted ass-weave”
September 10, 2011 at 11:19 am
An ass weave must make it difficult to use the bathroom. I’m guessing it would be as hard as that woman with the foot long fingernails.
September 10, 2011 at 4:04 pm
It might make for interesting results for your rumpology session, though.
September 10, 2011 at 4:51 pm
That would work too!!
September 10, 2011 at 10:15 am
It looks like the Joker put a smile on that face
September 10, 2011 at 10:17 am
Is it weird that I saw the title and expected something to do with cat litter?
September 10, 2011 at 10:17 am
I’m offended! Why are these only in black doll, not asian or pasty-pink bleached blond white sorority girl?? If you’re going to do it, do it all the way.
September 10, 2011 at 11:09 am
A sorority girl doll? It would be useless. All you could get in one of those would be a couple of match sticks & the doll would keep regurgitating those anyway.
September 10, 2011 at 11:19 am
That depends on if she’s a spitter or swallower.
September 10, 2011 at 11:35 am
or if you did get *it* in, she’d just deny it ever happened.
September 10, 2011 at 1:33 pm
Sigh! The two of you have such dirty minds. Here I was trying to make a nice, eating disorder joke and you two just take it to the gutter.
September 10, 2011 at 3:34 pm
Oh, I thought you were saying they’re so drunk all the time that they keep puking. I think that’s probably more typical of sorority girls than eating disorders.
September 10, 2011 at 4:05 pm
I thought you said “…just take it IN the gutter.” And wondered what that meant, but didn’t really want to know.
September 10, 2011 at 4:31 pm
@kantiankitten Wow! At least three ways to take it; a multipurpose comment!
September 10, 2011 at 11:24 am
She’ll need a new wig, mardi-gras beads and toga, but there you go.
September 10, 2011 at 11:27 am
I like the blue irises… What drugs do that to you?
September 10, 2011 at 11:35 am
Spice. Heard they have a stash on Arrakis.
September 10, 2011 at 11:43 am
@PaganChick I love you so hard right now!
September 10, 2011 at 11:38 am
I don’t know, but the sorority girls around here tend to be orange. I’ve heard some rumors involving Oompa Loompas, but I have no idea if they’re accurate or not.
September 10, 2011 at 10:19 am
I’m stuck trying to figure out if those are carpet remnants she hot glued to the side of the jar or if she shaved a family of bajingos for that “fur”.
Either way whatever it is needs to be shoved back into the same “box” that floating head/sad weave monstrosity was born from.
September 10, 2011 at 11:18 am
I doubt it was a family of bajingos. Bajingos are amongst the most wild of all undomesticated creatures and are known for their rabid tendencies. By the way I think it’s a flock of bajingos.
September 10, 2011 at 11:21 am
I think it’s a blush of bajingos.
September 10, 2011 at 11:41 am
I though it was a bush of bajingos!
September 10, 2011 at 11:53 am
A bagingo in the hand is worth two in the bush… wait a minute… how would that work???
September 11, 2011 at 8:51 am
How about:
“A hand in the bajingo is worth two in the goatse?”
September 10, 2011 at 1:04 pm
I’m gonna go with either a gaggle, a dazzle, or a clutch of bajingos.
September 10, 2011 at 1:42 pm
I think it’s a bedazzle of bajingos.
September 12, 2011 at 7:02 pm
I prefer a clitter of bajingos, but that’s just me.
September 10, 2011 at 4:24 pm
A family of shaved bajingos would lead to one of the most awkward of “Awkward Family Photos”.
September 10, 2011 at 10:21 am
I might be willing to buy something like this if the head was inside the jar. And it didn’t have all that tacky shit on the outside.
September 10, 2011 at 10:22 am
I think the contest broke regretsy, this is the only page that will load. that being said, that is one fugly ass item
September 10, 2011 at 10:23 am
Hmm, I guess this is one way you can repurpose merkins..
September 10, 2011 at 10:24 am
“GIVE A CREATIVE ART DOLL JAR.”
Gee, let me think, who do I hate that much??
September 10, 2011 at 11:14 am
This could be a new catchphrase. “I don’t give a creative art doll jar what you think!”
September 10, 2011 at 12:13 pm
This is the perfect gift for my mother-in-law.
September 10, 2011 at 10:24 am
I’m not really an “art person”, but should that be listed as “abstract”? It’s NOT abstract, right? Because to me it’s CLEARLY supposed to be a black girl with a removable head.
September 10, 2011 at 10:25 am
My (white) grandparents used this as a doorstop for as long as I can remember. They didn’t remember which family member it came from. Once I got old enough, we joked that of course, as the mixed grandkid, I would get it when they died. It’s mine now. Aren’t you all jealous?
September 10, 2011 at 10:32 am
I’m pea green with envy!
September 10, 2011 at 10:48 am
Ummmm is that a cast iron Mammy bank? Cause if so, could be from the 1900s and worth a bit of cash.
Example: http://www.ebay.com/itm/Vintage-Hubley-1900s-Mammy-w-Hands-Hips-Still-Bank-/110295161910?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item19ae1a9c36
September 10, 2011 at 10:53 am
It’s cast iron, but it’s not a bank. I’m sure it’s old. My grandparents had it in their house my entire life. (I’m 40) But, I’m not sure exactly how old it is, since they couldn’t remember which family member’s house it came from.
Thanks for the link!
September 11, 2011 at 12:01 pm
I looked inside mine. It is a Hubley. Wow.
September 10, 2011 at 10:54 am
Forgot to add: Wow! That looks exactly like mine! Now you have me curious.
September 10, 2011 at 11:07 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
September 10, 2011 at 3:06 pm
She looks annoyed.
September 10, 2011 at 3:07 pm
Perhaps because she realizes that her great-great-granddaughter will have a screw-off head.
September 10, 2011 at 10:30 am
Hair? What the…
why would you…and the jar is so…
Sorry, I’m out, you guys are on your own for this one, I need more coffee.
September 10, 2011 at 10:36 am
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September 10, 2011 at 10:53 am
I know, I wish I could delete that.
September 10, 2011 at 12:15 pm
Yeah, rite.
September 10, 2011 at 10:36 am
Really? This is “copyrited?” Because my great grandmother had one made out of a soap bottle instead of a jar 20 years ago and it didn’t look like a piece of zombified shitrag. I guess that makes it unique enough to “copyrite.”
September 10, 2011 at 10:58 am
I am going to add “looks like a piece of zombified shitrag” to my working vocabulary immediately. As I read it, a glittery tear came to my eye from its sheer beauty.
September 10, 2011 at 11:46 am
zombified shitrag – I think I jammed with those guys once
September 10, 2011 at 10:41 am
I do believe that’s a copyrong, not a copyrite.
September 10, 2011 at 10:42 am
I’m pretty sure that I’d be afraid to sleep with that in my house…
I don’t like the way it’s looking at me out of the corner of its eyes. I fell like it’s plotting…
September 10, 2011 at 10:46 am
More likely it’s begging you to kill it. Do it for the children, Aaron.
September 10, 2011 at 10:47 am
It would follow you around like the clown figurine in the USPS commercial… THE HORROR!
September 10, 2011 at 11:05 am
1. damnit, feel, not fell.
2. My brother and I used to have these creepy clown dolls that would laugh when you squeezed them, or at random times. Scared the hell out of me, especially after Poltergeist was released on video. Great way to traumatize a seven-year-old.
September 10, 2011 at 11:47 am
Yes, I used to have one of those as well. SCARY AS HELL!
September 10, 2011 at 10:59 am
Oh, don’t worry–jar lady is just doing her Susanna Hoffs impression.
September 10, 2011 at 12:34 pm
She does look as though she will be walking like an Egyptian soon.
September 10, 2011 at 3:10 pm
Last summer, my husband and I spent a week with his grandparents.
We were going to stay with some other relatives, but something fell through–and we ended up being given Grandma and Grandpa’s bedroom for the week.
This would have been charming, although embarassing. Except that Grandma collects dolls.
Imagine falling asleep to the roar of the air conditioner in the Louisiana night, knowing that if you turn on the light they’re ALL STILL THERE, the thousands of little faces looking down at you from EVERY WALL. Custom installed shelves. Grandma is also a carpenter. It was nightmarish.
September 11, 2011 at 7:57 am
http://www.odditycentral.com/pics/mexicos-island-of-the-dolls-is-beyond-creepy.html
your grandmother’s room made me think of this…
September 11, 2011 at 9:05 am
And your post reminded me of this Etsylike crap as art:
http://www.heidelberg.org/
September 10, 2011 at 11:00 am
I’m imagining it filled with Kools.
September 10, 2011 at 11:49 am
dont forgetsy the grape soda.
September 10, 2011 at 2:44 pm
I guess I’ll go to hell with you guys and say fried chicken.
September 10, 2011 at 5:21 pm
Watermelon Now & Laters
September 11, 2011 at 1:23 pm
Haha! Hell is going to be so much fun!
September 10, 2011 at 11:04 am
If you use real human heads would that still be infringing on her copyright?
September 10, 2011 at 11:11 am
copyrite. ^_^
Serious question: Can you copyright an idea that you didn’t originate, and had been around as long as creepy doll heads?
Snark: Or maybe she’s talking about the loverly images…
September 10, 2011 at 11:06 am
April, I know you have the copyright on throwing this at her but I’d be willing to pay royalties to do the same.
September 10, 2011 at 11:17 am
What is this? I don’t even…
September 10, 2011 at 12:44 pm
“. . . remember something this disturbing from my bad-tuna-salad-induced nightmares”?
“. . . understand why the eyes always seem to follow me”?
“. . . know how my vintage plush bajingo collection would fit in there”?
DON’T LEAVE US IN SUSPENSE.
September 10, 2011 at 11:18 am
This also looks like something my cat threw up.
I’m sensing a trend, and possible genius ideas.
I should sell my cat’s hairballs on Etsy! I’ll be a millionaire!
September 10, 2011 at 11:20 am
I also hearby copyrite selling hairballs on Etsy.
BAM!
September 10, 2011 at 11:18 am
spaces after commas are for squares…
with hair accessories on two lines I read it as two ideas for storage, thinking that someone might fill that with hair *shudder*. and apparently it only has enough room in its gullet for a single keepsake, so you’ll need more demon pickle jars for the rest of your souvenirs.
I just noticed that she held on to the junk drawer dolly for six years before deciding to part with it, or maybe its evil grip on her soul weakened.
September 10, 2011 at 11:21 am
Demon pickle jars… I need some of these. I’ve been contemplating making pickles for some time now, and just for that extra kick, they NEED to be made in demon pickle jars.
September 10, 2011 at 11:49 am
you should sell that on Etsy and copyrite it
September 10, 2011 at 11:28 am
Clearly, if you’re going to try to bust your way into the exclusive doll jar set of craftards, at least have the decency to spring for genuine materials. I demand real hair wigs on my doll jars. Some crafters have no shame. You can’t phone in this shit.
September 10, 2011 at 11:48 am
Perfect for those days when you just want to rip someone’s head off and crap down their throat!
September 10, 2011 at 12:11 pm
If the seller can’t find a way to incorporate the words juxtapose, iconography or ethno-cyborg into the description then she cannot legally refer to it as “art”. Case dismissed.
September 10, 2011 at 3:11 pm
“Ethno-cyborg”. Jesus, that’s a good phrase.
September 10, 2011 at 4:54 pm
I stole it. Hope I don’t get a crease & desist notice.
September 10, 2011 at 12:18 pm
All I keep thinking is African American Art bride of Chuckie.
September 10, 2011 at 3:56 pm
I’m just picturing “copyriting” being something ancient sects of lawyers do in the woods. Possibly while naked, and involving bonfires and animal sacrifices.
September 10, 2011 at 4:34 pm
NO! Not naked lawyers. There are exceptions, but overall that is not a pleasing thought.
September 10, 2011 at 4:58 pm
This looks like something I could put my extended family collection of toe nail clippings in …
September 10, 2011 at 7:37 pm
All you’re copyrited artwork are belong to us.