Awesome Purchase of the Week
- Submitted by Zuxana
Working on this site requires a good deal of sitting on your ass, looking at shit. After two years, I’ve realized that this shit can be neatly broken down into two categories:
1. Shit
2. Shit I have to own
Unfortunately, I buy a good deal of number two (see what I did there). In fact, I have come to realize that I am now buying at least one incredible object every week. I like to think of it as an eclectic, lighthearted collection of pop culture iconography, as opposed to a down payment on the house I’ll never have.
To celebrate my poor judgment, I’ve decided to share my finds with you every week. Think of it as a cautionary tale.
Here then, is today’s Awesome Purchase of the Week™, which I just bought last night:
Go ahead. Hate me. I WILL FIGHT YOUR HATE WITH LOVE
I’m not a big collector of velvet paintings, but I have a few. They just have to be very special, which means I get sweaty when I see it and make a gurgling sound. I hadn’t seen Velvet Geek’s work until last night, and I spent a lot of time looking at his site and all the pieces someone else already bought. I’m a little nauseated that I missed this one, but I’m only one woman.
By the way, I saw Ron Perlman trying on shoes at Nordstroms a few years ago, and I had no choice but to approach him. I walked over to him and said, “Excuse me, Mr. Perlman. I’m a big fan of your work, and my fiance and I really enjoyed you in Hellboy.”
He looked up at me, then looked back down at the slippers he was trying on.
So that went well.
Speaking of Velvet paintings, here are two more in my collection.
I’ve shown you this one already, but it goes without saying that it’s worth looking at again. Every day, if possible.
I would have to put this in my top 5 favorite possessions. It ranks just above this, and just below this.
And then there’s this one:
Yeah, I don’t know.
I talk about this painting in my book, and I’m so attached to it that this is my official author’s photo on Amazon (I think Michael Crichton has one just like it). My only regret is that I didn’t do my hair like his.
Here’s some other art in my collection.
This is a pan cel from Who Framed Roger Rabbit (I don’t buy animation art, but I was actually in this movie). I have tried to sell it at last three times when I’ve been really, seriously broke, but no one ever wanted to give me anything close to what I paid for it. Once, I had the bright idea to autograph the back of the piece, thinking it would now be worth something. To my delight, I was told that my signature had decreased its value.
The smashed face Boston Terrier plush toy on the counter is from Etsy (links below).
Well, I knew we were going to have this conversation sooner or later.
This is the actual artwork used on a TV Guide cover back in the 70s. A fan bought it for me years ago when I blogged about seeing it on Ebay, but missing the auction.
I’m a little obsessed with the show Quincy, M.E. It’s not as bad it used to be, back when I made fan videos about it, like this one:
But there was a time when I actually Tivo’d this show, and watched a few episodes every day.
That’s not the sad part. The sad part is that I finally stopped because I had seen them all so many times, I was mouthing dialogue along with it.
Shopping Guide:
• Hellboy on velvet by Velvet Geek
• Velvet Geek on Ebay
• Admiral Akbar and Phil Spector paintings by Black Velvet Paintings
• Smashed face Boston Terrier by Deelind on Etsy
Previous Awesome Purchases:
• Awesome Purchase of the Week: August 24, 2011
• Awesome Purchase of the Week: August 17, 2011
September 2, 2011 at 12:26 pm
I’m sure someday your house will be open to the public as a museum of fucktastic art, and on that day I will but the first ticket just so I may rub up against a framed portrait of an obscure character that you once touched.
September 2, 2011 at 1:17 pm
The tour guide must be a stuffy brit in a tuxedo. Or I’d just settle for Sam Cornwell.
September 2, 2011 at 1:53 pm
Sam wouldn’t be “settling” he’d be WINNING!
He’s a dreamy little potty-mouthed hunka man.
*happy sigh*
September 2, 2011 at 3:34 pm
Nobody settles for Sam. He might be forced to settle for one of us, but he’s as good as they get.
September 3, 2011 at 8:55 am
Killberry – that is just disgusting.
I, however, am an actual real trained tour guide at a major art museum, and would be honored to tour this collection describing the hermeneutics and cultural touchstones of the pieces and their place on the gestural timeline. Probably pre-realism. Oh and the chiaroscuro each piece seems to show. (Hard to tell oin a photograph!)
September 2, 2011 at 12:28 pm
Okay now my 8 year old is going to be REALLY jealous, not only do you use her chosen roller derby name,Helen Killer (My daughter is functionally deaf) but now you have the character from her favorite movie on velvet…I think she is turning green with envy as I type.
September 2, 2011 at 12:33 pm
Your daughter sounds awesome.
September 2, 2011 at 12:34 pm
Your daughter is officially a bamf.
September 2, 2011 at 12:34 pm
You have a very cool eight year old with excellent taste. Keep up the good work!
September 2, 2011 at 12:30 pm
Am I the only one who sees Hellboy as Bronc with a sunburn?
September 2, 2011 at 12:44 pm
I thought it was Bronc fangirl art, too.
September 2, 2011 at 2:15 pm
Oh hell no! He’s out burning away in the desert as we type. However, by now I suspect he’s starting to look more a like a hot-pink Phil Spector.
September 2, 2011 at 4:38 pm
oh you arent. i thought the EXACT same thing.
September 2, 2011 at 12:31 pm
Can I just come to your house sometime and gawk at all your shit like it’s a museum or something? Actually, next time you need money (to buy more shit), rather than selling anything, might I suggest opening your home to the public? You could easily get $10 or $12 a head, I’m sure.
I’m here to help.
September 2, 2011 at 12:31 pm
You triflin’ bitches done broke the Velvet Geek website!
How am I going to do inappropriate things to the warming glow of the velvet Ghostbusters now?
September 2, 2011 at 12:38 pm
Nothing worse than sudden notoriety.
Big props to the Regretsy community for running VelvetGeek’s monthly bandwidth allowance into the ground.
September 2, 2011 at 12:50 pm
I don’t think my life is going to be complete until I own the one with Ray with the cigarette. I knew I had a void, I just had no idea that’s that what it was going to take to fill it. Its so fucking beautiful I could weep. But its not listed on e-bay so I’m assuming its sold and so the void grows bigger.
September 2, 2011 at 12:32 pm
Holy shit. Not at the amazing art. At the fact that there is another person out there who adores Quincy as much as I do. While my friends were watching 90210, I was taping, yes taping, on vhs tapes, reruns of Quincy that played on The Mystery Network while I was at school. I was not your normal tenth grader.
My eyes sparkle with joyful tears. I will always feel like we’re tv sisters now, HK.
September 2, 2011 at 12:36 pm
YAY!!
September 2, 2011 at 12:57 pm
Wasn’t that woman who played the substitute doctor on Star Trek on Quincy?
Yes, she was. She was also on McCloud and Mannix and Police Woman and The Rockford Files and Hawaii Five-O and the FBI and every other crime show of the ’70s.
September 2, 2011 at 5:22 pm
Plus, as a strange crossover to this post, she played Kate Keller in the TV Movie of The Miracle Worker, with Patty Duke as Annie Sullivan and Melissa Gilbert as Helen Keller!
Eerie!
September 2, 2011 at 1:01 pm
I can remember being obsessed with reruns of it when I was young. Going by the house we were living in at the time, I must have been under four years old.
QUINCY 4EVA
September 2, 2011 at 1:09 pm
What? No love for Barnaby Jones???
http://www.ebay.com/itm/BARNABY-JONES-DYE-TRANSFER-TV-GUIDE-COVER-ART-/330553078495?pt=Art_Photo_Images&hash=item4cf67fb2df
September 2, 2011 at 1:54 pm
Columbo’s my main man.
September 2, 2011 at 11:09 pm
@zoraboo: I was obsessed with Quincy at about the same age a you were! I remember telling my mom I wanted to be a medical examiner, “like Quincy!” and being sooo disappointed when she explained that it’s not just like on tv.
September 2, 2011 at 3:07 pm
We were a houseful of Quincy geeks, too! I think Robert Ito was one of my first crushes. (After Jacques Cousteau, natch.)
I was so excited when they started bringing the reruns back here a couple of years ago that I was totally DVR’ing them, much to my soon to be husband’s chagrin.
Now he’s my soon to be ex husband. Coincidence?
September 2, 2011 at 3:36 pm
I think not.
September 2, 2011 at 8:51 pm
God, I had such a crush on Robert Ito. I think he set me off on my attraction to Asian guys.
September 2, 2011 at 9:01 pm
Robert Ito and George Takei in the Trek reruns.
September 2, 2011 at 11:04 pm
B. D. Wong. of “Law & Order, SVU.”
And my dentist.
September 2, 2011 at 3:49 pm
I also love Quincy. I remember watching reruns of his when I was a kid. My grandma watched soaps in one room while I watched Quincy in the other. Ah, the 70′s.
September 2, 2011 at 4:40 pm
I have such good memories of coming home for lunch and watching Quincy with my mom, but i only got to watch have because i had to go back to school. lucky bitch.
love that show, and if i could watch reruns, i totally would. (have never found any stations playing it)
aw, i love my mom!!
September 2, 2011 at 8:14 pm
I used to be a special ed. teacher and everything I knew about Tourette’s syndrome I learned from watching a Quincy episode on Tourette’s when I was 14.
September 2, 2011 at 9:02 pm
I remember that episode! And the deadly air pollution one, and a food poisoning outbreak at a stadium.
September 2, 2011 at 9:00 pm
I remember loving Quincy as a kid, even though it was on late enough that I had to go to bed halfway through (unless it was summer). Then A&E started running it several years ago and I finally got to watch the episodes all the way through. I watched every one. It was like a time capsule of my childhood.
Now I’m watching “Highway Patrol” from the 50s.
September 3, 2011 at 11:36 am
I have always loved me some Quincy, too! And Columbo…and as a kid, I was in love with Jim Rockford and wanted Barnaby Jones to be my extra grandpa.
And I can’t forget delicious Perry Mason…before my time, but forever there in reruns!
September 2, 2011 at 12:33 pm
Oh geez,we crashed Velvet Geeks server… The awesome internet power of regretsians, if only we could use our powers for good…
September 2, 2011 at 3:14 pm
His work is awesome! I’m so bummed the Inigo Montoya painting is already sold. And Cornelius the Ape. And Han Solo. And Gojira. Yeah, I think I know what Helen was talking about…
September 2, 2011 at 12:33 pm
I may have to leave my husband for who ever that was singing the Quincy lyrics. I think they might be my soulmate.
September 2, 2011 at 12:33 pm
There are at least 4 that I would love to own. I could have my own velvet painting room.
September 2, 2011 at 12:34 pm
I envy your collection of paintings. I’m not even allowed hammer nails on my walls. /ugly fat jealous loser
September 2, 2011 at 10:29 pm
consider yourself lucky that it was just nails in the wall you couldnt have i wasnt even allowed to TAPE things to the wall!
September 2, 2011 at 12:34 pm
Your voice is really low in that video.
September 2, 2011 at 8:29 pm
September 2, 2011 at 12:34 pm
When you pass away, I want to be at the estate sale.
Better yet, I want to be there when a relative is going through your estate just muttering “…what the fuck…” over and over again.
September 2, 2011 at 12:36 pm
Who says I’m going first?
September 2, 2011 at 12:47 pm
“Let us flatter ourselves that I may be the survivor.”
September 2, 2011 at 12:47 pm
If I do happen to outlive you by some miracle, would you do me the honor of bequeathing me your toiletpaper holder? Because I am CERTAIN that whatever holds your shit-wiping paper has to be simply fucktastically amazing.
Also, ‘bequeath’ feels really good in your mouth.
September 2, 2011 at 12:52 pm
……surreptitiously changes name of penis to ‘bequeath’
September 3, 2011 at 6:28 am
Her toilet paper holder is by Dicker and Dicker of Beverly Hills.
September 2, 2011 at 10:12 pm
well, i think its inevitable, one of these days, one of the huge piles of your hoarded fuckery is going to come crashing down and crush you. i think we need to call dr zasio to help you.
September 2, 2011 at 11:13 pm
If I outlive HK, first thing I’m doing is buying a plane ticket to CA & spending my life’s savings at the estate sale.
September 2, 2011 at 12:35 pm
I really could not get past the part where you saw Ron Perlman. Holy shit, do I ever love Ron Perlman. I have loved him ever since I saw his role as a retarded hunchback in some shitbag movie called “the Name of the Rose” which features Sean Connery and the ass of a 17-year-old Christian Slater and came out roughly about the time I was born.
And from your story, he’s just as big a dick as I thought he might be. <3
Also, your framed art collection has made me so jealous.
September 2, 2011 at 12:44 pm
Hey, that’s a damn fine book AND movie!
“Me stupido, me know nothing”
September 2, 2011 at 3:50 pm
My God, I waded all the way through that f-in’ doorstop of a book because my then-boyfriend (now husband) said it was “amazing”. Then he dragged me to see the movie, which I liked for two reasons only: Connery’s voice, and Slater’s nubile ass.
September 3, 2011 at 11:55 am
The book IS amazing. One of my all-time favorites…I first read it in high school!
September 2, 2011 at 4:43 pm
i used to be obsessed with him in the show Beauty and the beast. ahhhhhhhh vincent.
September 2, 2011 at 9:07 pm
That’s still my favorite Ron Perlman role. I hated the last season, when they totally wrecked the storyline they’d set up, but that wasn’t his fault.
September 3, 2011 at 10:07 am
Oh boy. What a weird thing that was — I wonder if they’d ever get away with that kind of thing, now that “fans” are a thing. I think that show had an incredible, intensely devoted fanbase before TV even recognized the concept. What happened with that show was a total waste — !
Remember the writers’ strike?? God, that last season was embarrassing.
September 2, 2011 at 7:21 pm
Not true about the dick part – I was taken to a Beauty and the Beast “Con”, back before the internet (wheeze) and met him in the hotel lobby. He was very nice with a voice like molten semi-sweet amber liquid honey, gahhhhh..
September 2, 2011 at 11:26 pm
Ron Perlman, who, by ignoring April Winchell, did guarantee his lapse into obscurity on that day. Poor fool.
Then again, I imagine he has really big feet, and was most likely having a purely shit-tastic time trying to find shoes that fit AND felt good. In his place, I might ignore April, too.
.
.
.
Nahhhhhhh.
September 3, 2011 at 6:31 am
Nordstrom carries size 20 in stock. Really, if you’re a 15 or higher, it’s the only place that hasn’t shifted their selection to cater to flashy athletes with no taste.
September 2, 2011 at 12:36 pm
Who Framed Roger Rabbit delighted and scarred me as a child, and made me into the delusional douchecanoe I am today.
September 2, 2011 at 12:36 pm
I’m imagining your velvet paintings talking to each other…possibly after killing a hooker.
Prostitute: Ooh, what’s over here?
Akbar: It’s a trap!
Phil: If I had a nickel for every time this happened to me.
Hellboy: Aww, crap.
September 2, 2011 at 12:39 pm
Sounds like a weird skit from “Who’s Line Is It Anyway?”
September 2, 2011 at 12:46 pm
Now I’m picturing Collin Mockery dressed up like Phil Specter.
September 2, 2011 at 2:08 pm
This is the skit that sends me into peals of laughter every single time:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a55kjGzYem4
The Burnoose.
September 2, 2011 at 2:26 pm
@SO – brilliant!
September 2, 2011 at 2:42 pm
Colin Mochrie is my TV boyfriend. Well, now that Ten has turned into Eleven, anyways.
September 2, 2011 at 2:45 pm
Greg Proops has a live comedy podcast if you need a little more Proops in your life (and who doesn’t?)
http://smartest.libsyn.com/
September 2, 2011 at 3:28 pm
THE CAT!
*dies*
September 2, 2011 at 4:59 pm
@gnomestress
Thank you so much for the Proops link! Greg Proops is one of my favorites.
September 2, 2011 at 5:44 pm
Whose Line, the way to my heart and into my undies.
September 4, 2011 at 4:47 am
I fail at getting up the nerve to harrass famous people. Collin was staying at a hotel last year when I was there for a wedding and we were both outside smoking at the same time. He was waiting on a car to pick him up, I was waiting on reception to start so I could get plastered on the free booze. I never did talk to him, but he did notice my vain attempts to work up the courage because before he got into the car to leave he nodded in my direction.
September 6, 2011 at 9:21 am
I have an awkward picture of myself from the Stratford Shakespeare Festival (in Stratford, Ontario, DUH) from several years ago. It takes a moment of looking to figure out why I am sort of off to left, and not centered in the frame; way in the background is a teeny, blurry Colin Mockery. It was our attempt to take a picture of him without being totally obnoxious…I imagine we failed…
September 2, 2011 at 4:44 pm
ug, for some reason my mind read that as “who’s lime is it anyways” then i thought of margaritas
September 2, 2011 at 8:31 pm
September 2, 2011 at 9:31 pm
haha cybele!
September 2, 2011 at 3:51 pm
ooooh, bravo. Author, author!!!
September 2, 2011 at 12:37 pm
Those plushies are expensive. I want one. But can’t justify the cost right now.
September 2, 2011 at 12:38 pm
Oh, please do open a museum of crap at your place! I’d come to that. Or, you could just do a virtual tour – I love the pictures of how you have things displayed.
September 2, 2011 at 5:46 pm
Virtual tour on fiverr for Finland and charity!
September 3, 2011 at 8:12 am
Yes! Do a video of your house. And do some of those crazy cartoon voices while walking through describing your glorious collection of f$%^&ry! That would surely get loads of hits on youtube.
September 2, 2011 at 12:39 pm
Oh April, I love you more and more with every post you grace us with.
September 2, 2011 at 12:41 pm
If you ever do try to sell that Roger Rabbit thing, hit me up right away. I’d buy it in a heartbeat.
September 2, 2011 at 12:43 pm
Now she can market it “Signed by the creator of Regretsy”
September 2, 2011 at 8:33 pm
September 2, 2011 at 12:42 pm
I want a Mark Hamill velvet painting. My kingdom, consisting of 728$ and a vast amount of old makeup, for a Mark Hamill velvet painting.
September 2, 2011 at 11:22 pm
I’d prefer the Darth Vader one.
Actually, this post has made me realize what I really need in life: to commission a velvet painting of Crow, from MST3K. I may settle for this, though:
Full size Crow Replica
September 2, 2011 at 12:43 pm
I’m still envious of the House sampler, and I haven’t even watched that show in the past 5 or 6 years. It’s just so amazing that I wish it were mine.
September 2, 2011 at 12:53 pm
I hate her just a little every time she posts a link to it. I just love it that much and am that jealous.
September 2, 2011 at 12:45 pm
The only things that stop me from tearing my hair in frustration at not owning your awesome collection of fuckery are 1. I am moving and packing up my own collection of fuckery is the fastest way to realize how much weird shit I already own. 2. The dim, and growing fainter, memories of the look on my husband’s face as he said “You bought what now? You plan to hang it where?” the last time I bought something.
September 2, 2011 at 12:50 pm
You have one of those husbands, too, huh? Kinda takes the fun out of finding amazing things to bring home, I think. Plus, I have a son who keeps looking at all the stuff in our house, and I know he’s imagining having to deal with it all when I’m dead.
September 2, 2011 at 12:45 pm
I watched the original Quincy series on network TV when it first came out, and loved it (I think I was still in elementary school). There, I’m not ashamed to admit it.
September 2, 2011 at 3:32 pm
I named my first dog and my Grandson after Sam Fujiyama. I, too, know all the words to all the episodes. My mom was a nurse and laughed when Quincy misprounounced medical terms–jealous bitch.
September 2, 2011 at 12:46 pm
I wonder more what HK’s accountant says when he goes through her list of deductions…”Uh, a velvet painting of Hellboy does not qualify as ‘office supplies.’”
September 2, 2011 at 2:00 pm
If she posts here, is it a business expense?
September 2, 2011 at 2:16 pm
YES!!!! Oh God please say yes
September 2, 2011 at 3:53 pm
Actually, I think she could totally make a case for that. She makes some miniscule amount of income from this site, through selling ads on it (I think you do, anyway, right?), and therefore I would think any and all expenses incurred to create content could very well be deductible as business expenses. Esp. if you have a good, creative accountant.
September 2, 2011 at 11:24 pm
Sounds reasonable to me.
September 2, 2011 at 12:47 pm
I want that. I want that harder than I want to see another day.
September 2, 2011 at 12:54 pm
That’s how I feel about the ones of the Ghostbusters.
September 2, 2011 at 10:18 pm
thanks now i have that stupid song in my head, and im positive im going to have nightmares about eating smore’s, or fucking a giant marshmallow. please let me know where to send the bill (for the extra therapy im gonna need)
September 2, 2011 at 12:49 pm
Getting extremely drunk and wandering around your house from painting to painting sounds like it would be a pretty fun experience.
September 2, 2011 at 10:19 pm
peeking inside the windows would be fun too, plus think of all the exercise you’ll get running from the cops!
September 2, 2011 at 12:49 pm
I’m a little surprised you don’t have the velvet Bat Boy as well.
September 2, 2011 at 4:02 pm
My brother, who was childless, wanted me to raise at least one of my sons to be Bat Boy. He’d send me whatever tabloid had him on the cover, and stuffed toy bats, plastic bats, etc. When he visited he’d get the boys to lie with their feet in the air and pretend they were hanging from the ceiling. They’d lie there and squeak at each other until it drove me nuts. The boys still have some cool bat engravings from Uncle Vince.
September 2, 2011 at 9:17 pm
So which one became Bat Boy?
September 2, 2011 at 12:51 pm
If I had a collection even 1/10th as large as yours, my wife would use that as grounds for divorce. And it would be granted immediately. South Carolina is a no bullshit state. I mean, look at Governor Sanford, that fine upstanding pillar of the community…wait, no he was fuckin’ some chick in South America without letting anyone know he left town. Hmm….
September 2, 2011 at 12:52 pm
I would shoot someone in the face for that Phil Spector painting. I really wish I was kidding right now.
September 2, 2011 at 2:01 pm
Let me just step out of your way.
September 2, 2011 at 12:53 pm
1) Who tries on slippers? (Then again, I buy shoes online, what do I know.)
2) You were in Roger Rabbit? I think I just wet my pants a little.
3) I discovered the wonder of Quincy from your old website. Thanks for the flashback!
September 2, 2011 at 9:18 pm
I’m guessing he has really large feet and wants to make sure they fit.
September 2, 2011 at 12:53 pm
My daughter is an artist in her senior year of a bfa in studio art-printmaking. I have not yet convinced her to prostitute her art on etsy, but perhaps this post and the projected costs of grad school will. Where do you get black velvet to paint on, she’s gonna need alot!
September 2, 2011 at 1:09 pm
Ohmyfriggingawd is the Qme lyrics hysterical!!!
September 2, 2011 at 1:09 pm
I really really hope that Ackbar was painted by THIS guy: http://www.velvetpaintings.com/images/2006ebay/artistzamoraa-350.jpg
September 2, 2011 at 11:43 pm
I don’t know whether “that guy” is an agent or just a reseller, or what, but he’s got quite a stable of artists there. Their Velvet Elvii run the gammut from weird to hideous. I love them all.
September 2, 2011 at 1:13 pm
I was never a big Quincy fan, CHiPs was more my thing, but who is the hovering head above Jack Klugman? Am I the only one who thinks it looks like Dr. Yueh in the Marvel Comics Dune graphic novel based on David Lynch’s version of Frank Herbert’s sci-fi masterpiece?
cf4l
September 2, 2011 at 2:26 pm
It’s his boss, Dr. Astin. Despite Quincy’s incredible crime solving track record, Dr. Astin demands Quincy wrap up his investigation and declare it a natural death already.
EVERY WEEK
September 2, 2011 at 3:30 pm
I’m so happy to find out that I’m not the only Quincy geek out there.
Nothing says “sexy” like a greying medical examiner in sansabelt slacks!
September 2, 2011 at 8:43 pm
“Sansabelt slacks” is such a fun phrase to say!
September 2, 2011 at 8:38 pm
OMFG! Helen Killer replied to my first comment ever on Regretsy!
At first I was excited, now I just realize what a sad lonely mess my life is when the highlight of my Friday night is getting a question about a 70′s TV Guide cover answered by a mean-spirited voice actor. I used to go downtown, get drunk, and let the hot young nurses get freaky with me on the dance floor.
**sigh**
September 2, 2011 at 4:51 pm
I sat at home in Norway every day after school watching the A-team and Father Dowling mysteries that were sent as reruns on Norwegian afternoon TV.
A-team is still my favourite series, and while people now know of it (because of the *beep* movie) they always look at me funny when I gush about it.. And nobody has ever heard of Father Dowling..
Part of the story is; I’m 23, and shouldn’t really have series made around when I was born as my all-time favourites.
I’m also a big fan of Matlock!
September 2, 2011 at 8:59 pm
It’s okay, I LOVED Father Dowling, and I’m only 27. When I was little, I had some kind of fixation on the fact he called her “Steve”.
September 2, 2011 at 9:40 pm
i loved matlock too, but have to say one of my all time favs is Perry Mason the old black and white ones with Raymond Burr
September 2, 2011 at 1:19 pm
So Roger Rabbit gets to look at the fuckery plates every day?
September 2, 2011 at 2:16 pm
Look how observant you are!
September 2, 2011 at 2:30 pm
Thanks!
September 2, 2011 at 9:42 pm
How the fuck did you notice that?? I had to go back to the pic and stare at it for like 5 minutes, to realize the reflection of her fuckery plates!!!
September 2, 2011 at 1:26 pm
DH looks over my shoulder and says “it’s a good thing we don’t have money, can you imagine what our house would look like?”
September 2, 2011 at 1:27 pm
The Ron Perlman thing kinda bums me out but that painting is a thing of beauty.
September 2, 2011 at 1:30 pm
I want that 10th Doctor velvet! it made me all tingly in the girlie bits~
September 2, 2011 at 2:05 pm
4th Doctor for me, thanks. And a dalek. Plus the Frankenstein monster, the Bride of Frankenstein, Dracula, Morticia, Count Orlock, Darth, and Han Solo.
Oh hell, just come over with your 10th Doctor. HK and Hellboy can come too. We’ll have a velvet orgy.
September 2, 2011 at 2:47 pm
When, where and how much?
September 2, 2011 at 2:09 pm
Me too! I shed a tear when I saw it was sold.
September 2, 2011 at 4:41 pm
the 5th doctor is my fave.
September 2, 2011 at 7:53 pm
At last-another lover of Five!
September 2, 2011 at 1:39 pm
I cannot forgive Quincy for the god-awful “Next Stop: Nowhere” Punk Rock episode:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LjHV9wQv6u8
Still sulking…
September 2, 2011 at 2:59 pm
Ah, the one where punk rock music is responsible for making otherwise responsible teens turn to drugs and bury icepicks in people’s skulls?
I remember watching that one afternoon back in my punk rock teen years, sitting stoned with my mohawk-sporting friend. Afterwards our outrage at such a preposterous idea was slightly tainted by the mutual paranoia that MAYBE QUINCY WAS RIGHT. We hid all the cutlery just in case.
September 2, 2011 at 1:48 pm
I used to feel the same way about Kojak. Which was on at 4AM every morning for years. I not only knew the dialog but had to monitor the brocade vests and hat band positioning on Telly. Also they filmed an exterior at the restaurant my mom worked at in the 70′s. I was 7 and dying to meet Telly but I got sick and couldn’t go. But I could look at the photo the entire restaurant staff took with Telly every time I wanted to get jealous.
September 2, 2011 at 2:03 pm
You may be embarrassed by your Quincy fixation, but at least you didn’t stay up to 2 am every night your senior year in college watching reruns of “The Nanny.”
I may have said too much.
September 2, 2011 at 4:49 pm
did you stay up that late becasue you were afraid you were going to have nightmares after hearing frans voice?
September 2, 2011 at 2:11 pm
Sometimes, late at night when I’m staring at the ceiling, cursing the fact that even when my infant doesn’t wake me up, I’m awake anyway, I think of “Bless this House” and smile. It’s also one of my favoritest things ever, and I’m glad you bought it, because otherwise I wouldn’t have known it existed.
My favorite velvet painting hung briefly in my favorite bar back in the day. It was “Jesus Watches Over the Truckers,” and was exactly what you would imagine it would be. Then some assjack stole it. I hope he burns in hipster hell.
September 2, 2011 at 2:40 pm
I have a black velvet Jesus that, if the cardboard on the back is to be believed, was painted by a nun.
September 2, 2011 at 11:28 pm
I’d steal that.
September 2, 2011 at 2:36 pm
Also I own this apparently
September 2, 2011 at 2:41 pm
My poison of choice was MST3K. I downloaded pretty much every episode, and still have them burned to CDs. Unfortunately they’re old enough that either the CD quality has degraded or the codecs aren’t readable anymore. I love me some sarcastic robot puppets.
September 2, 2011 at 2:56 pm
^They were robots, dammit. Joel built them.
September 2, 2011 at 3:36 pm
Yes yes…not puppets. Maybe “subconcious projections of Joel’s mind”?
September 2, 2011 at 3:34 pm
I still have pretty much ALL the episodes on VHS in the back of my closet.
Hopefully you’ve found Cinema Titanic. I am still geeked that I’ve met Joel, Trace, Josh, Frank and Mary Jo… twice!
September 2, 2011 at 3:35 pm
CinemaTIC…. damned typoese.
September 2, 2011 at 3:48 pm
I hadn’t heard of Cinematic Titanic! I hope they make it up to my neck of the woods some day (or at least within “weekend road trip” territory).
September 2, 2011 at 9:21 pm
We went to Cinematic Titanic about a year or so ago, and we go to Rifftrax whenever they have one. Just went to one a couple of weeks ago.
September 2, 2011 at 3:52 pm
Also I’m totally jealous you’ve met them. And I’m totally a fat loser too because I’ve still got some eps on tape – only I didn’t realize how precious a commodity they were, so I’d tape over the same tapes each week.
September 2, 2011 at 6:12 pm
If they come to your area, you have to go. It’s awesomely fun and they are super nice. They signed my Amazing Colossal Episode Guide and I have pics with Joel, Frank, and half of Trace’s head. (Yes, I’m a fangirl, and proud of it!)
I know Mike and Kevin do Riff Traxx, but I’ve always been a Joel girl!
September 2, 2011 at 4:43 pm
Get ye to Pirate Bay, they have all the MST3k movies.
September 2, 2011 at 11:29 pm
Just re-download them.
September 2, 2011 at 2:44 pm
The only way “Hellboy on Velvet” could be more awesome would be if there was a pillow made of velvet with this painting on it. With red and black tassels.
Nice purchases!
September 2, 2011 at 3:16 pm
That Hellboy is a whole new level of awesome!
September 2, 2011 at 3:32 pm
I can’t decide if Quincy is dreaming about Robert Goulet or just really really wants a Dos Equis.
September 2, 2011 at 3:37 pm
Hellboy is awesome! But even better? I have his Batman on my watch list. Maybe I can convince my boyfriend to buy it. Oh man would that look good in my dining room!
September 2, 2011 at 3:49 pm
I would sell my soul for Spock on velvet. A girl can dream…
September 2, 2011 at 3:52 pm
OMG, I found it. It is…magnificent. 0_o
September 2, 2011 at 4:34 pm
It IS magnificant! Spock was my first crush.
*seriously considers getting second job JUST for this…..*
September 2, 2011 at 10:23 pm
see you in hell!!
September 2, 2011 at 3:55 pm
I have to say, I am incredibly jealous about the Hellboy on velvet….I’ve always wanted one of those *wistfull look*
September 2, 2011 at 4:06 pm
Dear velvet artists,
There is a well known St. Louis cult icon known as Clownvis. He is a witty dude, who is a clown Elvis impersonator. I would love a velvet Clownvis. Seriously.
September 2, 2011 at 4:06 pm
My grandma and granddad had a velvet painting of the pink panther in a headband smoking a ciggarette and giving a peace sign.
September 2, 2011 at 4:11 pm
A “cigarette.” Yeeeeah. Right.
September 3, 2011 at 9:22 am
I swear.. I think.. It was in a cigarette holder and everything…Can weed be put in a cigarette holder? It might have been something else, my grandparents were hardcore party animals.
September 2, 2011 at 4:51 pm
if i was an artist, i would want to do a painting of april on black velvet, mabey one of her looking at her black velvet painting of hellboy.
September 2, 2011 at 5:26 pm
I just realized that regardless of what Bronc actually looks like or even what his avatar looks like, I envision him as looking somewhat like Hellboy.
*wanders off*
September 2, 2011 at 5:35 pm
WWWWTTTFFF, April? I knew I loved you, but I did not know that you were in Pepper Ann, one of the best cartoon shows of all time. CF4L 4-eva.
September 3, 2011 at 9:23 am
I love Pepper Ann. My favorite episode was where she played greensleeves all the damn time.
September 2, 2011 at 5:35 pm
I really really really love your hair.
September 2, 2011 at 10:24 pm
yeah, not only does she have the cleanest kitchen, shes got perfect hair too. the bitch!
September 3, 2011 at 5:56 am
And now it’s perfectly CONDITIONED.
HATE.
September 2, 2011 at 5:59 pm
His name is spelt as “Ackbar”. Sorry, I’m a huge fan of Admiral Ackbar. At least the typo isn’t as bad as the one I saw for Dooku on a Star Wars costuming site, where they spelt his name as “Sudoku”. Because the greatest threat to the Republic is the puzzle section of the local newspaper…
September 3, 2011 at 9:26 am
Well, they are really addictive games…
September 2, 2011 at 6:13 pm
I don’t know why, but I fucking LOVE that Roger Rabbit cel!
Also, add me to the list of fat, jealous losers who would pay to tour your, what I can only imagine is, absolutely amazing house of pop-culture fuckery!
September 2, 2011 at 7:54 pm
I like to call that particular Phil Spector look “The Devil’s Stomping Ground.”
September 2, 2011 at 8:16 pm
Wow. That velvet painting of Al Pacino with an afro is very realistic! Amazing how Al Pacino almost looks like Phil Spector. *blinks vacantly*
September 2, 2011 at 9:02 pm
It’s ok, April, I Tivo Cold Case Files every day and still don’t have enough to last through the weekend until they start up again on Monday.
September 2, 2011 at 9:32 pm
I’m still envious of Helen’s Ed McMahon Vodka. But then, I drink a lot.
September 2, 2011 at 10:35 pm
omg, ive been sitting here, all night, and i just noticed something. I totally blanked out on the fact that in my living room, right across from where im sitting, is a black velvet painting of the cookie monster!!! TRUE STORY I can post pics to prove it! its been a much coveted item in my parent home as i was growing up.. they gave it to me last year for christmas because they were pissed off at my sister, and they wanted to make her mad (she wanted it too) hahahahahahah suck on that bitch!! (can you feel the love?)
September 2, 2011 at 10:57 pm
Goooo “Quincy”! That was one of my favorite shows of that era, too. The lyrics were perfect.
However, my #1 favorite was McCloud. I believe it was fate that brought my husband and I together: I had a big ol’ horsey crush on Dennis Weaver, and my husband’s favorite movie of all time is “Duel.”
And, finally… Velvet Geek can tattoo me any day. I’m not black or velvet, but I’m a large, mostly blank canvas.
September 2, 2011 at 11:53 pm
I’m sooooo jealous of the Hellboy velvet art! I met Ron once at a comic convention but totally ignored him because one of my friends volunteered the convention and got the job of being Ron’s bitch so I was trying to talk to my friend the whole time Ron was trying to hit on me while I was totally oblivious to this fact. Now I feel kind of not for not at least being lame enough to say something like “Hey Ron, how you doin?”
September 2, 2011 at 11:54 pm
Kind of dumb. Yep, margarita is in total effect here.
September 3, 2011 at 6:30 am
I’m reminded of my favorite disgruntled artist, Brandon Bird- it’s a crime if you fat jealous fuckers don’t check him out.
http://brandonbird.com/
September 3, 2011 at 6:33 am
From the Law & Order series…
September 3, 2011 at 6:39 am
My mother still despises Anita Gillette for dragging Quincy to the altar and over the shark.
I don’t remember the individual episodes, except the one where the woman sings “Fever” then starts sweating and drops dead.
September 3, 2011 at 7:57 am
I regret not buying a velvet painting of Willie Nelson at a yard sale. What was most intriguing about it was the story, her husband had bought it in Turkey when he was in the military.
September 4, 2011 at 7:49 am
Aawww, helen, you just killed my love of Ron
i loved him in City of lost Children! Another movie hero love, dead! Why do my favorites suck?
September 4, 2011 at 4:31 pm
All of her geek paintings belong with me, they would be cherished and possibly involved in some delicious self pleasure.
September 5, 2011 at 2:47 pm
So weird, but I actually listed my precious matador black velvet painting this weekend. It’s not as cool as any of April’s but I still love it’s kitschy-ness.
http://www.etsy.com/listing/81035558/framed-munez-original-matador
September 8, 2011 at 12:36 pm
I covet this purchase, you bitch.
September 25, 2011 at 6:20 pm
I remember when you bought that pan cel of Roger Rabbit, you bought it from my friend who sold animation artwork. I worked as a checker at Gelson’s. The early 90′s were so decadent. I sure miss having disposable income
Whata shame that stuff isn’t hot like it used to be. Still a real nice momentum of your work on the movie.