So what crawled up your ass and died?
A few months ago, our butt plug bills were through the roof! It seems like I was constantly buying new ass toys to go with everything in my closet. And forget back to school shopping; the kids always want the cool new butt plugs everyone else is wearing!
Then a friend told me about Fawx Tales™! Finally, a colon pony I can change to suit my mood and outfit! I’m the kind of girl who’s equally at home in an evening gown or a pair of jeans with the seat cut out so I can stick a coyote tail up my ass when I go to the bank. So for our family, customizable fashion ass gaskets are the perfect solution!
Thanks, Fawx Tails™!
- Helen Killer, Sherman Oaks
Etsy listing here
September 1, 2011 at 1:40 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
September 1, 2011 at 3:36 pm
Well, that’s 14 so far. Read on…
September 2, 2011 at 1:57 pm
I guess what I’d like to know is how do you determine what size buttplug you need? Do they have a sizing chart? Or is it just a “crap shoot” judgement call on the buyer’s part?
September 1, 2011 at 1:40 pm
It’s simply the worst when you wear the wrong butt plug animal tail to an event at the country club, or if someone else shows up wearing the same thing. What a gaffe!
That never has to happen again. Thanks, Fawx Tales!
September 1, 2011 at 1:42 pm
Wouldn’t that be a … FAWX pas? lolololol
September 1, 2011 at 1:51 pm
at least its not a faux PAW. that might have been worse.
September 1, 2011 at 1:51 pm
Fauxget it.
September 1, 2011 at 3:37 pm
So, nobody has said anything about watching faux nudes.
fair and balanced…eh.. ok, never mind.
September 1, 2011 at 3:40 pm
*fawx nudes
September 1, 2011 at 4:21 pm
Faux News?
September 1, 2011 at 4:58 pm
Yes, excellent. I would give you a prize for figuring that out, but ..well, I don’t have any prizes…not even to re-gift.
September 1, 2011 at 6:38 pm
So we are talking about Glenn Beck and Shawn Hannity with donkey faux nudes tails?!
September 1, 2011 at 1:48 pm
No Arctic Faux after Labor Day.
September 1, 2011 at 1:51 pm
Heavens no. Biffy von Buttenheiney wore this nubby little polar bear tail to the church lemonade social, in July! You can’t imagine how many eyebrows were raised that day. There she was, her uppity naked buttcheeks clenched around a WHITE buttplug animal tail, in the middle of summer. I don’t think she’ll be invited to the buttplug bakesale this year. It was just too shocking.
September 1, 2011 at 1:54 pm
I thumbs-upped everyone in this thread. I won’t tell you where I put the thumb.
I also literally eyebrow-waggled at my computer as I typed this.
September 1, 2011 at 3:16 pm
i thumbsupped you for you eyebrows. i can admire a good waggle.
September 1, 2011 at 2:13 pm
Is that what the invitation meant by black tie & TAILS? Glad we got the straightened out before the wedding!
September 1, 2011 at 7:27 pm
White tie goes with tails on the coat, so I’d say your assumption is correct. These are the tails that go with black tie.
(sorry, watching “Bones.” I’m writing as a cross between Temperence Brennan and Miss Manners.)
September 1, 2011 at 11:26 pm
Miss Manners would approve. After all manners are merely behaving in a way that is appropriate to the situation, be it watching flesh eating beetles “clean” a corpse or giving advice on butt plug tails.
September 2, 2011 at 7:55 am
Would that be a FAWX-BO wedding? Tee hee!
September 1, 2011 at 4:48 pm
do you mean what a giraffe?
September 1, 2011 at 1:41 pm
I hate when listings don’t tell you all the information you need to make an informed purchase.
Can you change the size of the smell?
September 1, 2011 at 2:03 pm
Fart and watch the fur fly!
September 1, 2011 at 2:45 pm
Whoops… I see I was unoriginal. You got to the change the size of the smell thing first.
September 1, 2011 at 1:41 pm
Oh, that hurts :/ I think I’ll get one for the hubs!
September 1, 2011 at 1:42 pm
There’s a “running away with his tail between his legs” joke in there somewhere. I think the plug trapped it, though.
September 1, 2011 at 1:42 pm
I wonder if they come in “skunk”….
September 1, 2011 at 1:46 pm
No, but if you don’t keep it clean you’ll get your wish.
September 1, 2011 at 1:53 pm
Indeed!
September 1, 2011 at 1:50 pm
You kids these days, what with your skunks and your foxes.
Back in MY day, we only shoved hamsters up our butts.
September 1, 2011 at 2:23 pm
Sure, for the Pepe LePew fetishists out there
September 1, 2011 at 2:33 pm
If you really can switch out the tail type depending on your mood or outfit, I want:
-kangaroo for the beach (never lose at volleyball!)
-tiger for going to the gas station
-peacock for formal occasions
-rat for hanging out with the hipsters
-porcupine for the Turkish prison
-monkey for work (hands-free mouse operation!)
-beaver for my drum circle
-cougar for club hopping in the OC
-737 for parachuting
-pig for the wine club (i always forget my corkscrew)
-and bunny rabbit for surfing Etsy (it’s so cute and fluffy and gives me butthurt!)
September 1, 2011 at 2:53 pm
If you’ll settle for porcupine quills,, the seller can accomodate you: http://www.etsy.com/listing/76974968/pair-of-african-porcupine-quills
September 1, 2011 at 6:42 pm
Porcupine for the red hanky S & M crowd
September 1, 2011 at 1:42 pm
Had this happen once when I accidentally swallowed my cat.
September 1, 2011 at 1:57 pm
you mean…sat on the cat
September 1, 2011 at 2:14 pm
Nope, if he said ate, he meant it. You don’t want to know what goes on in that bathroom of his…
September 1, 2011 at 7:29 pm
His downstairs bathroom is on a VIP Grey Line tour with Fibber McGee’s closet and Jack Benny’s vault.
September 1, 2011 at 2:19 pm
Damn, having it go through tail first must have been a great colon cleanse.
September 1, 2011 at 2:39 pm
Talk about a Pipe Cleaner!
September 1, 2011 at 1:42 pm
This may just be me, but I think using the word “void” in the copy for a butt plug has unfortunate implications.
September 1, 2011 at 2:11 pm
Agreed. That’s not really a visual you want to cultivate when trying to sell something. Except on Etsy, apparently.
September 2, 2011 at 2:12 am
Maybe they are targeting an even more specific demographic than the furry crowd.
September 1, 2011 at 2:52 pm
They are just looking for an opening.
September 1, 2011 at 3:22 pm
I see what you did there …
September 1, 2011 at 6:45 pm
Yes! And no ifs, ands or butts
September 1, 2011 at 7:30 pm
At least it didn’t say “evacuate.”
September 1, 2011 at 1:42 pm
wow! finally something to satisfy all my buttplug needs….and all for only $50.
September 1, 2011 at 1:44 pm
I’ve seen rubber flogger ponytails for much cheaper. Because really, when satisfying those anal urges, it’s important to shop around.
September 2, 2011 at 4:02 pm
These are selling much more briskly than the short-lived Urethra Plugs.
September 1, 2011 at 1:42 pm
I can’t judge >.>
Cause I kind of want it.
September 1, 2011 at 6:51 pm
It makes for a great Fiverr offering: I will send you a 30 second video of me dancing with faux tail inserted; you pick the animal
(watch out Drorr I have upped the ante!)
September 1, 2011 at 1:43 pm
nice butt … thats it!
what? WHAT?! what else there to notice …. ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh
September 1, 2011 at 2:27 pm
I admit that was the first thing that popped into my mind. It seemed to have completely ignored the tail to admire the tail.
September 2, 2011 at 12:54 am
It is an extremely fine butt.
I must admit, I would find it finer if it was not wearing a buttplug furry accessory that makes me laugh like a hyena, but it IS a good butt.
September 1, 2011 at 1:43 pm
D’you think he can use that thing as a feather duster and waddle around the house?
September 1, 2011 at 1:48 pm
OMG, that mental image was almost too much. I shrieked and scared the piss outta the person sitting behind me! Too damn funny.
September 1, 2011 at 1:49 pm
“D’you think he can use that thing as a feather duster…”
Easily
“…and waddle around the house?”
That depends on the size of the buttplug
September 1, 2011 at 2:42 pm
and how tall you are
September 1, 2011 at 2:15 pm
Feather duster butt plugs already exist.
September 1, 2011 at 2:25 pm
Those Swiffer people think of everything!
September 1, 2011 at 2:43 pm
Combine this with the blue paint persona and you’ve got the Swiffer WetSet
September 1, 2011 at 3:20 pm
It makes the Swiffer ‘love’ commercials all the more interesting.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cPn7FntWUmU
September 1, 2011 at 4:28 pm
The “mud” costume on the one girl fascinates me. I know it’s rubber, but the detail of the dress, purse, shoes, and sunglasses just gets me every time. You know the costume designer must have had fun on that job.
September 1, 2011 at 1:44 pm
There is clearly something wrong with me. Not only do I *totally* not get the appeal of butt plugs, but I’m troubled by the fact that those tails are not in anatomically correct positions.
September 1, 2011 at 1:46 pm
exactly.
September 1, 2011 at 1:47 pm
That always completely bothers me too! I mean, whatever about butt plugs, but god damn it, that is not even near anatomically correct. I’d rather wear a strap on with the god damn tail attached at the base of my spine.
September 1, 2011 at 2:22 pm
Whoah, now I actually wanna do that.
September 1, 2011 at 2:25 pm
True. It sort of looks like he’s trying to crap out a squirrel
September 1, 2011 at 2:51 pm
Breech.
September 1, 2011 at 9:42 pm
I was going to comment about how weird it looked to have a tail growing out of your bumcrack, but everyone else beat me to it. Seriously, it looks like he and his partner went…experimental…and forgot to drag the poor dead animals out before the photoshoot.
Or maybe it was intentional. “Honey, I can’t get this dead animal out of my anus!” “That’s okay, I have an idea! Where’s the camera, we’ve only got a few minutes before the EMTs arrive.”
September 1, 2011 at 7:53 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
September 2, 2011 at 2:38 am
I think you are maybe not understanding the concept of “butt plug”.
September 3, 2011 at 2:55 am
I was thinking along the lines of designing some kind of extension device running along the butt crack so you could get the tail in the correct spot yet still use your anus to anchor it.
September 1, 2011 at 1:48 pm
Yeah. That’s what I was thinking, too…
September 1, 2011 at 2:10 pm
Clarification: no judgment on the butt plug aspect, but…the tail is not in the right place! (I know, I know, late to the party once again…)
September 1, 2011 at 1:59 pm
*sneef* I’m not the only one! I heart you guys! Anatomy FTW!
September 1, 2011 at 2:30 pm
Agreed. It’s not like animals with tails lack anuses.
(I mean, what would dogs do without that to sniff?)
September 1, 2011 at 4:24 pm
explode after a few meals, I guess
September 1, 2011 at 2:55 pm
At least I’m not the only one.
September 1, 2011 at 3:01 pm
I totally agree. The placement is just all wrong. People should have to take extensive anatomy lessons before going and making butt plugs with tails.
September 1, 2011 at 6:08 pm
if we’re going to go down that road, that means 90% of the Etsy artists should take some sort of art lesson/s before getting to sell anything…
September 1, 2011 at 3:08 pm
Tell me about it…
September 1, 2011 at 3:31 pm
The anatomical wrongness is bothering me too. D:
September 1, 2011 at 3:39 pm
I will testify that you are never too old to learn stuff. We didn’t have sex ed when I was in high school – since joining Regretsy I’m making up for what I missed.
September 2, 2011 at 10:30 am
Well I hope you’ve gone out and shown the world what you’ve learned!
September 1, 2011 at 5:15 pm
I 100% agree, people have Tail Bones, and that is not where they are.
September 1, 2011 at 5:19 pm
That really bothers me, too. It’s probably missing half the point of the fetish to complain that the placement of the tail is unrealistic, but it almost doesn’t even look like a tail to me in that position.
September 1, 2011 at 6:33 pm
I’m in complete agreement with you, Dix. As someone with Irritable bowel syndrome, I’ve had far too many things stuck up my butt over the last several years (though to be fair, I was sedated at the time). Sticking anything in there for ‘recreational purposes’ just seems…wrong, somehow.
September 1, 2011 at 9:55 pm
That’s the thing I never got about those costume style, fetish plugs. Why do you have a pony tail hanging between your legs? Are you crapping out a colt?
Somehow I have the feeling the damn furries will be all over this.
September 10, 2011 at 6:19 pm
Excuse me?…
September 1, 2011 at 1:44 pm
The tail seems to be wearing him, instead of him wearing it.Tthat and it looks like the guy is taking a fuzzy poo. =p
September 1, 2011 at 1:45 pm
…And I blame my poor typing skills on twitchy fingers from seeing this thing.
September 1, 2011 at 1:44 pm
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September 1, 2011 at 1:44 pm
that would go great with my ass-less coyote fur chaps.
September 1, 2011 at 1:57 pm
Now we know what to get the man who has everything.
September 1, 2011 at 3:12 pm
The most interesting man in the world…He’s against cruelty to animals, but isn’t afraid to wear a Coyote Fawx Tail now and then.
September 1, 2011 at 1:44 pm
Okay, is that a shitty misspelling of “faux” or “fox?” Either way, it fails.
There is a fine line between shitty and clever, and this COMPLETELY erases it.
September 1, 2011 at 1:48 pm
The misspelling was driving me nuts… thanks for saying something BBAB!
September 1, 2011 at 1:49 pm
I think it’s meant to be fox. The description in the store says “*Note* All of our tails are deboned scraps gathered from U.S. fur wholesalers.”
September 1, 2011 at 1:56 pm
Nothing says sex-ay like “deboned scraps.”
September 2, 2011 at 2:43 am
Agreed. De-boning really seems to miss the point of the whole thing.
September 2, 2011 at 10:31 am
Deboned for reboning.
September 1, 2011 at 1:57 pm
But the description says “Authentic Coyote Tail”
September 1, 2011 at 2:28 pm
Yeah, they’re a scrap. As delightful as tails are, there’s not much you can do with them in a tailoring way. I buy about one a year for my cats- they’re like five bucks. They’re awesome fun for playing Poke And Bite with the kids without putting your fingers in harm’s way. You cut poking holes in a good hiding-sized box, or a paper bag, and when the cat is within, you poke the tail through random holes (like Whac-a-mole from their side) or drag it past & overtop of the box or bag, verrrry slowly, and see those paws shoot out of the holes! It’s an exciting game. But I digress.
September 1, 2011 at 2:33 pm
Ow. I just visualized this guy walking into a room filled with playful kittens.
Like this, only worse: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5OrKLc-gskg
September 1, 2011 at 4:30 pm
I’m lucky. When I’m doing pilates, one of our cats just has to participate, but she just stretches and rolls and lays on her back watching me.
September 1, 2011 at 5:16 pm
I think it’s sort of a different deal in Russia – you can get fox hats with the tail still attached so it hangs down, and I once saw a young woman who had a whole fox tail as a cell phone charm. She just had that thing hanging out of her pocket.
September 1, 2011 at 1:57 pm
Like it matters. I have heard many a radio announcer on Detroit radio stations announce specials on “fox leather hoodies” at Donna Sacs.
September 1, 2011 at 2:01 pm
I didn’t even notice the spelling (or any description for that matter) I could drag me eyes off the buns (gees why do guys get the cutest ones ehhhhh, so unfair!)
September 1, 2011 at 2:01 pm
and that should be couldn’t COULDN’T*
September 1, 2011 at 2:28 pm
I’m with you–he’s got a very nice butt.
September 1, 2011 at 2:58 pm
What, you think only gay guys like a bit of bum action? If you want a cute guy who wants to shag you and wear a butt plug, I’m sure they’re out there. You just have to know where to look.
September 1, 2011 at 3:18 pm
I’m a straight woman who admires a nice ass on a man, whether or not he’s wearing the tail of one.
September 1, 2011 at 3:20 pm
and how to ask.
September 1, 2011 at 8:10 pm
I am the proud pegger of one of those guys.
September 1, 2011 at 4:33 pm
And eyelashes. They get fantastic eyelashes. I’d steal my husband’s if I could.
September 1, 2011 at 4:44 pm
Not all guys have nice butts, Big Invisible Man in the Sky only knows, but eyelashes? How unfair is that? I gave up wearing mascara years ago–too many flick-of-the-wrist-and-pull-out-some-lashes accidents with the eyelash curler, raccoon eyes with an allergy attack (or tears). And men just strut around with the gorgeous lashes that they don’t even need! I’ve been caught staring at the lashes of a man sitting next to me on the train and feeling sad.
Sorry, I’m about to hit SEND on an e-mail to a male cupcake I want out of my life and I needed a Regretsy cleanser. He is the king of butthurt…and he has a Ph.D. he LOVES to throw in people’s faces. He’s goatse personified.
But I digress. Yes, men have fantastic eyelashes, but we do get to admire them, so there’s that.
September 1, 2011 at 7:36 pm
Mugsy, I wish you luck with that. Anyone who abuses the letters after their name deserves public scorn.
Sincerely,
Mapleleaves, MBA, CPA, CMA, CFM
September 1, 2011 at 7:51 pm
Dear Dr. Mapleleaves,
Thanks for your kind words. I noticed that you don’t have a Ph.D. Yay! They are SO overrated. As an ex-wife of a particularly pompous one told me, “It stands for ‘Print Here, Dummy’.”
All my best,
Mugsy, B.A. (Bachelorette of Adorbs)
September 2, 2011 at 1:17 am
I heard it meant Piled Higher and Deeper. After the BS and MS (More of Same), of course.
September 6, 2011 at 10:29 am
@Catherder: I like your definition much better!
September 1, 2011 at 1:44 pm
If there’s one thing my life is lacking, it’s probably fur in my asshole. Problem solved.
September 1, 2011 at 2:00 pm
sounds like a Chinese proverb.
September 1, 2011 at 2:30 pm
Not me- I’m blessed with the biggest assbush in town! No, wait… that’s not a blessing…
September 1, 2011 at 4:13 pm
I was thinking that if I really wanted this look, I could just stop shaving for a month or two.
September 1, 2011 at 4:43 pm
Well, now Helen knows where to get her fur for ass wiping purposes when she goes to Finland. And when she’s not wiping her ass, she can store it in her ass! How very convenient. Just make sure you get several, Helen. You know, to match all your outfits and moods…
September 1, 2011 at 7:38 pm
I’m still entertaining the fantasy of flying over there to do the Finnish Fairytale Dinner.
September 2, 2011 at 10:48 am
You should! And you should also take me with you…I’m a massage therapist. You know all that flying will make you tense.
September 1, 2011 at 1:45 pm
What tha funk. Seriously I’m a furry and I don’t even want that…..
September 1, 2011 at 1:52 pm
The model’s a bit furry, too. I wonder if that’s a coincidence or just a bonus–makes the tail look a little nicer.
September 1, 2011 at 2:30 pm
It does give it a certain lycanthropic quality (or whatever the fox equivalent would be) to the overall milieu, doesn’t it? LOL.
September 1, 2011 at 4:58 pm
Yes, I confess I was admiring the way the tail matches his body hair color. No, really.
September 1, 2011 at 1:45 pm
Sometimes, at goth night, there is a dude who always wears a coyote tail attached to his pants. Now I am even more creeped out by him.
September 1, 2011 at 1:45 pm
Suddenly cock feathers in the hair seem kind of cool. I think animal tails needs somebody of Steven Tyler’s caliber to get the ball rolling.
September 1, 2011 at 1:46 pm
What, no peacock butt plug? Some of us are into feathers. I demand equal ass play representation!
September 1, 2011 at 1:46 pm
How sweet. An accessory for assholes who want to be Furries.
September 1, 2011 at 1:46 pm
What?! No vegan option for cruelty-free,”Pouncing, rolling, playing, crawling, jumping, lounging, pouncing, sprawling?”
September 1, 2011 at 2:02 pm
kale?
September 1, 2011 at 3:04 pm
All hail the male
With tale of kale
His ass, alas
Is not for sale…
September 1, 2011 at 3:06 pm
It’s a short leap, after all, from tale to tail…
September 1, 2011 at 7:40 pm
Who doth not know where a wasp doth bear her sting?
September 1, 2011 at 2:06 pm
Fauxkra
September 1, 2011 at 3:11 pm
YES!!!
September 1, 2011 at 2:31 pm
Why do you think some vendors sell carrots with the leaves still on?
September 1, 2011 at 5:18 pm
Because you can feed them as a nutritious snack to your rabbits.
September 2, 2011 at 2:50 am
That’s what I always thought.
September 1, 2011 at 4:14 pm
You said pounce twice.
September 1, 2011 at 5:39 pm
I’m not sure if my sarcasm meter is on the fritz or if you didn’t realize the fuzzy buttplug people said pounce twice in their description…
September 1, 2011 at 11:40 pm
Yeah I copied and pasted from their listing. I considered correcting it, but apparently pouncing is a very important part of butt plug tail fun.
September 2, 2011 at 8:54 am
I was going for a Blazing Saddles reference but sometimes forget I’m not as funny as I think I am.
(“You said rape twice” “I like rape”)
September 1, 2011 at 1:46 pm
I know people that own these. My best friend would probably make one of these if asked. She already makes fully capable fur suits so this would be right up her alley.
Everyone has their kink. About 1/4 of my friends are furries or have been to furcons. I don’t think of them as my furry friends, they’re just my friends.
Furry: It’s one step away from bestiality but it’s an -important- step!
September 1, 2011 at 1:48 pm
Whoa whoa whoa, there’s a difference. Yes there are some who are into that….but not all of us. ^_^
September 1, 2011 at 1:51 pm
I know there’s a difference. That’s the point I was making. I probably could have worded it better.
September 1, 2011 at 7:42 pm
I think bestiality is legal in Finland.
Not encouraging it, I’m just saying we need to be tolerant of people who have sex with innocent, defenseless animals. Or something.
September 2, 2011 at 1:19 am
Only if the sheep are willing partners.
September 1, 2011 at 1:50 pm
Not to say that they shouldn’t be mocked – nothing is sacred.
For your viewing pleasure I bring you Furry Softball/Frisbee:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uus-mPZI_7s
September 1, 2011 at 1:51 pm
Oh yes I know there are lots of us to be mocked. I’ve see far too many things I ran from quickly in the “fandom”
September 1, 2011 at 2:04 pm
I have learned that if you want to feel amazing at sports play softball with furries.
Furries, as a group, are fun and interesting people. There are many artists among their number and some of the stand up I’ve seen is top notch. Creativity and imagination abound.
Few of them are athletes.
I’ve also developed a ‘furry multiplicity theory’
If you get more than 4 furries in a room at one time they will multiply exponentially every hour on the hour.
September 1, 2011 at 2:40 pm
Fandom is the scariest place on earth. But also the most fun. Although, I admit, I’ve never poked my nose into furry fandom.
Pun intended and apologized for.
September 1, 2011 at 2:44 pm
Is it because of the Rabbit suit?
September 1, 2011 at 2:34 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
September 1, 2011 at 2:42 pm
Gnomestress, I’ve always thought that Furries were into cutesy, cartoonish, mascot-style animal alter egos. Is there a segment that love real fur, or fantasize they’re real animals? They might look more badass than adorable. it doesn’t match my notion of Furries at all.
I’ve always loved fur myself, but I consider it a “fabric fetish” as I feel the same way about silk satin, latex and mesh.
September 1, 2011 at 2:47 pm
If you want to find out more about furries, look in the forums on bad-dragon.com (warning, NSFW site.) Not a furry myself (at all), but I do like the… structure of the products. Some of the people on the forum are just kind of minorly furry, which I can stand, but there are groups that are so into it that they make a whole persona of a humanoid creature for themselves and live it out 24/7 along with their “mates”… those make me all kinds of unhappy.
September 1, 2011 at 3:03 pm
There’s a segment of them, for sure. Furry has a lot of sub kinks.
Really the internet can tell you more than I can…but there’s a caveat:
Penis-Nipples are a thing and I’m pretty sure the Furs invented them. Search at your own risk.
September 1, 2011 at 6:13 pm
If you want incredible, non-cutesy furry art, look at Dark Natasha: http://darknatasha.com/ Heather Bruton is also a good bet. I dabbled in the furry fandom because I LOVE the art (blame a childhood obsession with Disney’s Robin Hood), but got turned off by the freak show that the fandom can be. In short: yes, there are “lifestylers” who think they are spiritually animals rather than human, or who want to spend all day in a fursuit, or who want to legally change their name to reflect their “fursona.”
So, you know, I think I’ll just admire the art from afar.
September 2, 2011 at 10:24 am
I thought those people were “otherkin,” and not really furries at that point. Furries acknowledge their fetish and don’t actually think they are their animal persona, but that it is just a part of them. Whereas, otherkin think that they are actually their animal persona, and just happened to be born in a human body.
Or maybe otherkin just means furry who is a dragon, or something. I can’t remember.
September 1, 2011 at 2:44 pm
I’ve known many furries as well, mostly normal, good people. But I don’t think many of them would so compromise their idea of “furry anatomy” as to wear one of these when the tail is SO low it looks like a fox suffocated and died while trapped between the cheeks. Tails go ABOVE buttholes!
(Note to self: sampler)
September 1, 2011 at 3:04 pm
I think it’s a meshing of the anal play and fur play that makes it appealing to them.
I really need to stop getting my furry friends drunk and learning these things. :-/
September 1, 2011 at 8:46 pm
Fur play = foreplay?
September 1, 2011 at 1:47 pm
Now in the tradition of Etsy sellers wearing panties etc then selling those exact items to us…. do they sell the exact butt plugs and tails they model in? I always wanted a used rubber ass cork and animal fur tail that’s been in and around someones butt.
September 1, 2011 at 2:01 pm
The copy specifies that you won’t get the exact plug and tail pictured, but a similar one.
September 1, 2011 at 2:02 pm
No, the seller is VERY clear in the copy that although a butt plug is shown (for size reference), neither it nor the tail shown will be shipped. The buyer can purchase a separate butt plug if he or she so desires.
From the site: “*Note* All of our tails are deboned scraps gathered from U.S. fur wholesalers.”
[Insert tail-bone joke here.]
September 1, 2011 at 1:47 pm
I’ve suddenly got some ideas. Very furry ideas.
September 2, 2011 at 2:56 am
Seller beat you to it.
http://www.etsy.com/listing/80942877/frost-fawx-tail-with-small-plug?ref=v1_other_1
September 1, 2011 at 1:47 pm
“*Note* All of our tails are deboned scraps gathered from U.S. fur wholesalers.” Gross.
September 1, 2011 at 1:50 pm
Yeah…have they not heard of fake fur?!
September 1, 2011 at 1:58 pm
Clearly you do not understand the meaning of the word “fawx”.
September 2, 2011 at 2:58 am
No, I know fox and faux, but not fawx. *googles* Urban dictionary tells me it is short for fucking awesome. This does not seem to help.
September 1, 2011 at 1:58 pm
That listing deboned me, for sure.
September 1, 2011 at 1:50 pm
Awesome. Do they have a facebook page for this?
September 1, 2011 at 1:52 pm
i don’t know when i will start noticing the letters “nsfw” laughing til tears came. at my office. at church.
September 1, 2011 at 2:18 pm
You’re going straight to hell.
The rest of us will save a seat.
September 1, 2011 at 3:18 pm
Confess and make the priest/pastor drop the bible.
That sounds dirty now that I wrote it.
September 1, 2011 at 4:50 pm
“Yay, though I drop the bible and raise my staff, I walk in the light of the full moon”
—Profurts, 2:21
September 1, 2011 at 1:52 pm
I know someone who would LOVE that !
September 1, 2011 at 1:53 pm
As a fan of both tails and buttplugs I really can’t find anything wrong with this.
September 1, 2011 at 2:31 pm
Send us a picture with your purchase
September 1, 2011 at 1:53 pm
One night, Max wore his fox plug and made mischief of one kind… and another!
Just…NO.
September 1, 2011 at 4:56 pm
Let the wild rumpus start! Yeah, no, I’ll never look at Maurice Sendak or Where The Wild Things Are the same way. Once again, my childhood… *cries…*
September 1, 2011 at 7:28 pm
Consider that dream . . .raped.
September 1, 2011 at 7:52 pm
I need a whiskey.
September 1, 2011 at 10:14 pm
Seldom a bad idea. May I suggest a Talisker?
September 1, 2011 at 10:04 pm
September 1, 2011 at 1:54 pm
I didn’t know Coyotes hibernated.
September 1, 2011 at 8:49 pm
Kinda tight quarters there, but probably snug and warm (and a little damp).
September 1, 2011 at 1:54 pm
“Customizable fashion ass gaskets.” That’s a subset of yer basic ass gaskets, I’m guessing.
September 1, 2011 at 1:54 pm
What does it say about me that the first thing I thought of when reading the “Pouncing, rolling, playing…” line was Treebeard in LOTR:Two Towers saying: [about orcs] They come with fire, they come with axes… gnawing, biting, breaking, hacking, burning. Destroyers and usurpers, curse them.
September 1, 2011 at 1:59 pm
One does not simply walk into Mordor (without the proper butt plug)
September 1, 2011 at 6:20 pm
I’d say that says you’re cool?
September 1, 2011 at 1:55 pm
I like how “pouncing” is in there twice for list of activities recommended for these.
September 1, 2011 at 2:34 pm
Damn, it must be really really good!
September 1, 2011 at 1:56 pm
All joking aside, I love the wallpaper in the background.
September 1, 2011 at 2:00 pm
ME TOOOO!!!!!
September 1, 2011 at 1:56 pm
I’d love to be a fly on the wall when they first made this thing…
“Hey honey, look what I made!!!”
“Huh? What the hell is that thing?”
“It’s a cutesy fox tail crafty thingy! What should I do with it?”
“Stick it in yer ass!
“Oh shnookums, you’ve always got the answers”
September 1, 2011 at 1:57 pm
There are so many kinks I’d rather not know about. This is one of them.
September 1, 2011 at 2:00 pm
You’re on at least one wrong site then.
September 1, 2011 at 2:08 pm
Seriously! This is a site that comes up with creative ways to craft goatse.
September 1, 2011 at 2:10 pm
Goatse is nothing; it’s the shoving-things-made-of-dead-animals-up-butt aspect I find unappealling. Just the word ‘deboned’ puts me right off.
September 1, 2011 at 2:11 pm
Well, that could be one meaning of the word “deboned”
September 1, 2011 at 2:15 pm
“Deboned” kills your boner?
September 1, 2011 at 2:08 pm
Not really.
September 1, 2011 at 2:10 pm
I <3 you TMC but really, there has been a guy squirting paint out of his ass here. It's hardly wholesome entertainment.
September 1, 2011 at 1:58 pm
September 1, 2011 at 2:04 pm
SQUEAK!
September 1, 2011 at 2:00 pm
THAT IS NOT WHERE TAILS GO
September 1, 2011 at 2:01 pm
reverse gerbling doesnt even make any sense.
plus it’s in the totally wrong place for a tail.
September 1, 2011 at 2:08 pm
“reverse gerbling’
I think I just peed a lil. O_O
September 1, 2011 at 2:19 pm
I’m always resistent to making some nouns into verbs for the sake of…oh, to hell with it. Gerbling? LOVE IT!
September 1, 2011 at 2:52 pm
i was gonna define it but i cant bring myself to do it.
it’s just another wonderful idea from the 80s.
i think urban dictionary will let you know what i could not.
September 1, 2011 at 3:05 pm
Oh, I don’t need a definition. I heard all the urban legends about Richard Gere and the “friend-of-a-friend who worked in the ER.” I just love the word GERBLING. Sounds festive! Fun! Frolicksome!
September 1, 2011 at 5:51 pm
Isn’t the correct term “Felching?” Or did I smoke too much crack today . . .
September 1, 2011 at 6:18 pm
@Hillbillybajingowash: Those are two separate questions. I can only answer the first (yes).
“Felching” is a nice word, but “Gerbling” (and “Reverse Gerbling”) is a CUTE word, so cuddly…not that I’d want to cuddle after…
I can’t answer your second question.
September 1, 2011 at 2:03 pm
so am i getting a new one or one that has been in an ass already?
September 1, 2011 at 2:03 pm
The male model looks uncomfortable. You’d think he was keistering an actual fox.
September 1, 2011 at 2:10 pm
We really don’t know at what point the deboned fox stops.
September 1, 2011 at 2:04 pm
I don’t have a problem with someone wanting a furry buttplug – but I think I might have issues with anyone who, when getting the yearning for a new sex toy turns to Etsy to buy one…
September 1, 2011 at 2:05 pm
Totally looks like the gerbil wasnt working for him
any more and he lubed up the cat….
Ive also seen something similar when my dog ate part of fur coat.
September 1, 2011 at 6:21 pm
I’ve known cats who eat tinsel off the tree…goes through them and they drag around their own garland from their butts.
September 3, 2011 at 11:20 am
This happened to one of my cats years ago. We came home to find her racing in utter panic around and around the living room walls at about waist height, like a bike racer in the velodrome. My father said, my God, she’s rabid! before we noticed that she was trying to get away from the piece of tinsel hanging out of her butt and touching her legs. Finally on one of her circuits he managed to reach down, grab the tinsel and yank it out as she raced past us. She levitated about 4 feet in the air and disappeared under the furniture for hours. That was the year we switched over to garland instead.
September 1, 2011 at 2:05 pm
From Richmond, Virginia, home of GWAR.
And I am trying to be surprised, with no success.
September 2, 2011 at 12:29 am
Shit. You’re right! Richmond must be some sort of hellmouth because I’m not sure what is more depraved, these butt plugs or Slave Pit Inc.
Incidentally, I’m really looking forward to meeting GWAR in November. I supported the Blood Vomits Kickstarter earlier this year and went all out on it so my husband and I could get a meet and greet with them.
September 2, 2011 at 10:27 am
I really am jealous! Would love to see them! Nothing like a little space jizz to liven up a kick ass show.
September 1, 2011 at 2:05 pm
Pouncing, having something sticking out of your ass, pouncing, being a repressed surburbanite rolling around on the formerly clean carpet, but oh, did we mention the pouncing? Such a fun vaguely sexual activity.
September 2, 2011 at 10:28 am
Aw crap, now you got me humming “Hungry Like the Wolf”. Although I often substitute “Poodle” for “Wolf”.
September 1, 2011 at 2:06 pm
Ri… Richard Gere, is that you?
September 1, 2011 at 2:09 pm
See: http://www.playgroundlaw.com/cgi-bin/browse.pl?sid=2499 for a story about this guy’s childhood…
September 1, 2011 at 2:16 pm
I want to know where she got the models for all the tail products. Are they her friends? How do you broach that subject? Hey, I’ve got a sweet modeling gig for you! I mean, you’ll have to shove a raccoon up your ass, but that’s modeling honey…
September 1, 2011 at 2:17 pm
This gives me an idea for a coyote/human taxidermy fusion piece. Too bad I’m not a taxidermist.
September 1, 2011 at 3:04 pm
It rubs the lotion…
September 1, 2011 at 4:46 pm
And there are probably laws against taxidermy-ing(?) humans.
September 1, 2011 at 5:43 pm
This is actually an interesting question. It’s legal to preserve and display human bodies and body parts for museum exhibits provided someone donated their body for that purpose. So if someone signed a release before they died saying you could turn their body into a terrifying decorative piece, could you legally do it?
September 2, 2011 at 1:25 am
Well, the guy who did those weird, partially dissected and preserved bodies got away with it. I forget his name. There was a traveling exhibit that came to our science museum a couple of years ago. My husband went with some of the other animators and modelers from work and said it was informative and amazing, but very disturbing.
September 2, 2011 at 9:37 am
Yess, exactly. There was some controversy about it when it came to a museum near me, but it appeared to be quite legal. And there have been human body parts on display in museums for ages without anyone calling the fuzz – the Denver Museum’s old Hall of Life used to have a series of fetuses in jars illustrating development in the womb from month to month. And that was a children’s exhibit.
I imagine there would probably be different legal hurdles to deal with if you weren’t doing it for educational purposes, but who knows?
September 1, 2011 at 6:32 pm
Someone wil have beaten you to it:
http://www.google.co.uk/search?hl=&q=crappy+taxidermy&sourceid=navclient-ff&rlz=1B3GGIC_en-GB___AU356&ie=UTF-8&aq=1h&oq=c
September 1, 2011 at 6:33 pm
Eejit Fridays:
http://crappytaxidermy.com/
September 1, 2011 at 2:17 pm
It is clear that these people do not share their homes with cats! If you want to do some interesting pouncing & jumping, wear that sucker around my Bengal cat. Guarantee an experience that you’ll never forget.
September 1, 2011 at 4:48 pm
Just imagine this guy with my 19 pound Maine-Coon mix hanging from the tail. He growls when he gets a real-fur toy mouse–this would drive him bonkers.
September 1, 2011 at 7:38 pm
Add a little catnip and you’d be calling the EMTs.
September 1, 2011 at 2:19 pm
These would sell like hotcakes at Folsom Street Fair.
September 2, 2011 at 10:33 am
People at the fair put hotcakes up their butts? What a waste of hotcakes.
September 1, 2011 at 2:19 pm
For a while when I worked near Lake Union there was a guy at my work who would regularly three tails into the office. When the business moved to downtown, they met with our department to inform us that we would no longer have a casual dress code. Starfox asked, “So…I’ve worn all my clothes to work, and that makes them work clothes, right?”
September 1, 2011 at 7:16 pm
You’re missing a verb in your first sentence…but I’m not sure I want to know what it is.
September 1, 2011 at 2:29 pm
This is what comes of our asking for more ass shots of guys?
THANKS A LOT.
September 1, 2011 at 2:30 pm
How is it that you talk not one, but TWO people – to model this for you???
September 1, 2011 at 2:35 pm
Can I get one made with a UNICORN tail? Unicorns and glitter for all!
September 1, 2011 at 2:39 pm
There is a joke somewhere in here about anime conventions and cat girls.
September 1, 2011 at 2:40 pm
Oh God—the 50s style “Thank you/testimonial letter” killed me. Well, by Golly, that is a good deal. Let me know when it also lights up and spins.
September 1, 2011 at 2:41 pm
Also, can they change the size of the smell?
September 1, 2011 at 2:49 pm
Fantastic! i can finally stop wearing this stupid coon-skin cap for my ‘wearable tail’ needs. So last century.
September 1, 2011 at 3:00 pm
:/ Okay…. it does not look like a tail. Someone should tell them that tails come from the spinal area… not from up your ass. Looks like they have an animal shoved up their ass… which is wrong on so many more levels…. lol
September 1, 2011 at 4:49 pm
It’s the Richard Gere look, just for housewives who just once, would change places with the gerbil, and the men who share their unfortunate affliction. Now Lemmiwinks can run free!
September 1, 2011 at 3:04 pm
“The above tail is pictured with a small silicone plug measuring 1” x 1” x 3.6” (a perfect beginner size).”
Oooh, I am getting a bajingo boner now that I know what size plug he’s got up in there…but then, reading further…
“You will not receive the tail and plug pictured above…”
Damn…what if I want the same one??
Major buzz-road kill!
September 1, 2011 at 3:15 pm
Damn! I wanted a GLASS plug!
I thought tho that bajingo had more to do with the vulva than the clit. But, bajingo boner makes a great sound bite. Mind if I use it?
I can deal with furries. But a TAIL BUTT PLUG. No. Just no.
September 1, 2011 at 3:29 pm
Shit, when you can’t see it anymore because you are such a fat ugly jealous loser like me, hell, it’s all the same thing. Just the other day, I rubbed against a wall and thought it was my husband…go figure.
September 1, 2011 at 3:09 pm
And the fox jumped into the goatse.
September 1, 2011 at 3:11 pm
that truly is one way to explore your colonic – er… animalistic void. Kudos to them for the accuracy
September 1, 2011 at 3:31 pm
That is not “The sexy you dream of” around here. It also isn’t the kind of comfort I crave.
The “sexy” I dream of has never once included having a dead animal hanging out of my anus.
I’d love to have been a fly on the wall when the creator of the road kill ass fantasies handed them to the models and told them what they were each being paid to model.
September 1, 2011 at 3:31 pm
1) I wonder if you’d be arrested if that was hanging out of the bottom of your shorts leg.
and C. Am I the only person who thinks his asshole must be in a vagina position because that thing is dangling far too center of crotch?
September 1, 2011 at 4:38 pm
No. My husband and I wondered about that too.
September 1, 2011 at 4:39 pm
That is, we were wondering about the anatomy, not the shorts.
September 1, 2011 at 3:31 pm
So the designer of this bathing suit held it up and said, “This….this masterpiece is finished. Perfecto!”
Which is a good thing because I’ve always wanted to try to boobs out look on the beach. Boobs contained by a bathing suit is SO 2010.
September 1, 2011 at 4:51 pm
It’s ok, she just needs to add a tail that she can switch out for all occasions. It’s… multipurpose!
September 1, 2011 at 3:33 pm
Oh goshdarn it. My first ever Regretsy post and I made it on the wrong entry. Holy hell. Vodka me stat.
September 1, 2011 at 3:38 pm
I’m sure it’s been said already, but it really bothers me that the tail is not located in an anatomically correct position.
September 1, 2011 at 4:17 pm
Tell me about it…
Whoops…
September 1, 2011 at 5:02 pm
I’m not sure about the Robot, but I’m thinking that Dr. Smith would be interested in this fur accessory. Whatever end he was at, he’d be shrieking in octaves higher than ever before.
September 1, 2011 at 4:08 pm
Try googling animal tail butt plugs…. I did. It’s a weird crazy ride through some twisted minds.
September 1, 2011 at 4:09 pm
I’m fairly certain tails don’t grow FROM the anus, just NEAR the anus. Right?
September 1, 2011 at 4:18 pm
Tell me abou…
September 1, 2011 at 5:05 pm
You WOULD know, BGS. This must be a very confusing image for you…on many levels. Don’t be scared. Big fake coyote won’t hurt you! Come here, let me give you a good scritch behind the ears! If nothing else, it will make ME feel happier!
*scritch, scritch, scritch, scritch, “Good girl!”*
September 1, 2011 at 7:30 pm
It IS quite confusing…anything near my butthole reminds me too much of anal
suppressionexpression.September 2, 2011 at 10:34 am
Anal Expression – great new band name!!
September 1, 2011 at 4:20 pm
DAMMIT!
I snorted homebrew into my sinuses at “colon pony”
I’m going to be making weird strangling noises all night from laughing the rest of the night
September 1, 2011 at 5:06 pm
The miniature ones, for very short people, are called semicolon ponies.
September 1, 2011 at 7:40 pm
Shetland plugs!
September 1, 2011 at 7:57 pm
Those are THE cutest ones!
September 1, 2011 at 4:22 pm
“…to permit change depending on your mood…”
Retro can be OK but weren’t mood RINGS enough? This goes to far (up).
September 1, 2011 at 4:24 pm
I think what really bothers me is that these buttplugs look like pacifiers. I don’t know if they all do, but… I would be careful where I left those if I had babies.
…
Or not. It might be kind of hilarious, if not horrible and cruel and traumatizing.
September 1, 2011 at 4:33 pm
Uploaded with ImageShack.us
September 1, 2011 at 4:40 pm
I dreamed about buttplugs last night.
September 1, 2011 at 4:43 pm
Damned Roadrunner–got poor Wile E. again.
September 1, 2011 at 4:54 pm
I thought this was actually kinda cute. The male cameltoe has completely redefined my standards of judgement on this site. APRIL WINCHELL WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME
September 1, 2011 at 4:55 pm
Yiffy!
Now, wherever did I put the brain bleach?
September 1, 2011 at 4:56 pm
It looks like they’re shitting fur rather than sporting a furry tail.
September 1, 2011 at 5:00 pm
Oh Helen, you gotta do that intro as a Home Shopping Channel parody- it could stretch on for twenty minutes easy , with admiring friends and neighbours, testimonials etc. Good if it came with a juicer attachment, too.
or get Tracy Ullman onto it:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2qKABSHfw-E
September 1, 2011 at 5:18 pm
Conversation in the computer room when I brought up this page:
Me: (squealing) HONEY! You gotta look at this!
Him: (long pause) Are you on Regretsy?
Me: (gleeful) Yep!!
Him: (very serious) Then I think it’s in my better interest to NOT look.
September 1, 2011 at 7:38 pm
He just hasn’t recovered from Camel Joe….
September 1, 2011 at 5:18 pm
Wiley Coyote! What happened!?
September 1, 2011 at 5:29 pm
Would it be in bad taste to regift???
September 1, 2011 at 5:45 pm
Despite the reassurances that the tail shipped won’t be the one received, I notice that some of the other listings offer you the chance to ask the seller to customize size of buttplug, etc.
…surely there’s someone out there who’s going to ask for the one pictured as a custom order? Anyone? Anyone?
September 1, 2011 at 5:52 pm
This is perfect. Now I can buy that gingerbread man costume for my husband and tell him to ride on my back.
September 1, 2011 at 6:25 pm
Thanks for raping the memories of my childhood. My favorite story…until now. I still have the book, but I’ll never be able to look at it again without my skin crawling.
September 1, 2011 at 11:27 pm
Now Mugsy Doodle, in the story the fox ate the gingerbread man. This time it is just the other way around.
September 2, 2011 at 12:05 am
Kind of like this
September 6, 2011 at 10:32 am
Thanks, Aliceblue. This makes it much better…no, seriously, the Gingerbread Man has had his revenge!
September 1, 2011 at 5:56 pm
I would love to own this just so I could scream during a road rage incident “Kiss my Coyote Fawx Tail Ass”
September 1, 2011 at 6:19 pm
Nice ass, but COCK OR GTFO
September 1, 2011 at 6:26 pm
September 1, 2011 at 6:44 pm
I am swallowing my heart. HK used something I sent her. I know I am a bit late to this party of a post, but I been busy today. ROAD TRIP. I must say, this store tripped me out! I knew you guys would love it!!
September 1, 2011 at 8:06 pm
Thanks for sending it–it’s been a lot of fun!
September 1, 2011 at 6:59 pm
When I saw this, http://www.etsy.com/listing/80942877/frost-fawx-tail-with-small-plug?ref=v1_other_1 my only thought was kitsune butthurt.
September 1, 2011 at 7:18 pm
I love fuzzy butts. That’s a NICE fuzzy butt. A well-rounded fuzzy butt…
Why its owner felched such a large animal is beyond my understanding.
September 1, 2011 at 8:06 pm
Ignore it, just enjoy looking at the nice, round, pleasantly plump fuzzy butt. That’s what I’m doing…
September 1, 2011 at 8:08 pm
I’m sick of all this “coyote parts art”, these people will be the first ones against the wall when the coyote uprising comes. It won’t be long now, we’ve already spread out to all the states and next …
Oops, I’ve said too much.
September 1, 2011 at 9:29 pm
September 1, 2011 at 10:59 pm
Of course, if you had a really big furry penis, this is what a mangina would look like from behind.
September 1, 2011 at 11:39 pm
September 5, 2011 at 3:58 am
Tim Gunn’s workroom reaction was one of the first things I thought of when I saw the listing. There was an episode last season (I think) where they had to buy all their materials from a party store and one designer got a product simply called “furry balls”. Tim’s reaction was the best thing ever.
September 2, 2011 at 7:57 am
Just how, pray tell, do you ask – not one, but two – someone(s) to model this for you? That’s the real conversation I wanna hear.
September 2, 2011 at 8:34 am
You know none of these people have cats. Just try getting away from a frisky feline trying to play with that furry tail.
September 2, 2011 at 10:31 am
There’s an entire reel of cat vs genital combat on one of the porn sites. A fluffy tail would make such an attack so much more impressive. It would be the first cat-ASSisted goatse.
September 2, 2011 at 10:20 am
It puts new meaning into the words “Bend ‘em and spread ‘em.”
That man has got more hair on his ass than the wolf man does on his body.
I can’t help but keep on thinking if you’re worried about farting just shove a quark up there!
September 2, 2011 at 11:21 am
Thanks Helen! Know I know what to get my Dad for Christmas!
September 2, 2011 at 11:45 am
“Um, Mom…Yeah, this is Glenn. Uh, look, I got into your Ambien last night and to make a long story short, I also have some bad news about Mr. WhifflesWorth…”
September 2, 2011 at 3:06 pm
God damned Furries! WTF?!
September 2, 2011 at 4:09 pm
I think it’d be funnier if the other end of the squirrel were peeking out of his butt.
September 2, 2011 at 8:21 pm
I know at least a hand full of people who would not only pay $50 for this but would use it on a daily basis and demonstrate it’s use for complete strangers on the street.
That’s the awesome kind of people I’m friends with…
September 24, 2011 at 8:56 pm
September 24, 2011 at 8:57 pm
this is the first one of these I have made (turns out Im not just socially retarded)…its a bit rough
October 2, 2011 at 3:03 pm
I have GOT to learn not to eat or drink anything when going through posts and comments I’ve missed here…