Leonardo Da Stinky
This post first appeared on Regretsy on September 21, 2010
You know how when you were a kid and you laid in the grass looking up at the clouds, and you saw circus animals and bunnies and things? Well, this is a lot like that, except the sky is a diaper, and the bunnies are globs of baby shit, and you’re a fucking idiot.
August 28, 2011 at 1:31 pm
Instinctual?
It’s all in the first instict. The good ones make it look easy.
August 28, 2011 at 10:27 pm
if they can produce one that reads: cf4l then SOLD!
(just don’t tell me how)
August 28, 2011 at 1:32 pm
That’s got to be the shittiest idea I have ever seen.
August 28, 2011 at 1:40 pm
Some critics applauded Jaydynn’s debut into the art world. Some said his work was just shit.
August 28, 2011 at 2:21 pm
Every morning? Daddy sounds a bit anal to me.
August 28, 2011 at 5:42 pm
I wonder how much pressure baby was under to produce.
August 28, 2011 at 3:30 pm
Yeah, no shit.
August 28, 2011 at 1:33 pm
I have to sphincter this one over.
August 28, 2011 at 1:35 pm
I was pondering getting one, but the description really rectum for me.
August 28, 2011 at 1:37 pm
I’m surrounded by grown-ass people making poop jokes.
I’M HOME
August 28, 2011 at 1:37 pm
So, they just feed that baby mustard?
Can’t be healthy but its, you know, for ‘art’.
August 28, 2011 at 1:46 pm
Breastmilk looks like that after it’s been through a newborn. Trust me, I’ve seen a lot of mustard yellow poop.
August 28, 2011 at 3:09 pm
Get this baby some Activia, aka Jamie Leee Curtis’ poo-gurt.
August 28, 2011 at 1:38 pm
Look, I understand. I was a new parent once too. I realize that some bizarre alchemy takes place in your brain at that point and poop becomes an endlessly fascinating subject.
Most of us, though, retain enough self-awareness to realize no one else gives a shit about our babyshit. Not so much these parents.
August 28, 2011 at 1:57 pm
I have 4 kids… trust me, at some point the mommy goggles DO fall off. Those little crumb catchers are not cute forever.
August 28, 2011 at 6:37 pm
I second this motion and I only have one child.
August 28, 2011 at 1:38 pm
I was waiting for this to be revealed as another of Helen’s ‘Nah, I just made that shit up’ (literally , in this case)but noooooo.
‘downtown upscale lady’ seems a bit unweildy as a euphemism for shithead, but what do I know – when my kids used their feces in place of finger paints, bitch that I am, I told them ‘NO MORE WALL ART’ and washed off the masterpiece with bleach.
August 28, 2011 at 8:12 pm
Nice name!
August 29, 2011 at 6:57 am
Thank you and likewise! Add coffee to yours and it’s a great start to the morning
August 28, 2011 at 1:38 pm
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August 28, 2011 at 2:26 pm
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August 28, 2011 at 2:42 pm
Ad placement.
August 28, 2011 at 5:09 pm
Exactly – and I can’t believe people are actually giving it thumbs UP.
And no, it’s NOT funny anyway.
August 28, 2011 at 8:17 pm
Ad placement after he’s been asked to stop doing it because it’s obnoxious and his name is already a link. Worse.
August 28, 2011 at 1:39 pm
I am thoroughly convinced that some people pass their brains along with the afterbirth. That’s still no excuse for Dad going along with it.
August 28, 2011 at 3:13 pm
they use cloth diapers. and I imagine are strict vegetarians, recycle everything and hold to the “if it’s yellow let it mellow” school of hippyism.
August 28, 2011 at 5:15 pm
Hey, I used cloth diapers, breastfed exclusively, and admittedly have adopted the “let it mellow” attitude before (when my water/sewer bill was running $60+ per month).
However, I am a staunch carnivore and routinely throw obscene amounts of styrofoam and plastic in the trash. And I never even considered photographing anything on or in my baby’s diapers, much less post it publicly for sale. Although I did once wish that I could find some way to market bottled baby drool as a fuel alternative . . . would have made a fortune . . .
August 28, 2011 at 1:39 pm
my head hurts.
they have SPAWN.
the stupid *will* continue into future generations.
August 28, 2011 at 1:55 pm
That’s assuming that the parents are intelligent enough to keep their child alive that long.
…
The parents that sell pictures of their baby’s bowel movements.
I think the odds are on our side.
August 28, 2011 at 2:21 pm
Where is natural selection when you need it?
August 28, 2011 at 3:52 pm
It is killing my brain cells.
Vodka > Calculus
August 28, 2011 at 1:41 pm
That’s why philosophy majors shouldn’t have kids.
August 28, 2011 at 1:42 pm
well, all contemporary art is kinda shitty.
August 28, 2011 at 1:42 pm
What a talented little lady she is. A budding Jackson Poollock.
August 28, 2011 at 1:42 pm
This has given me a great idea! Since my children no longer make “art” in their diapers, I will photograph their poop before we flush it down the porcelain god. There’s no telling what you might see!
August 28, 2011 at 1:56 pm
If any of their poops look like Jesus, make sure you fish them out of the bowl and sell them on eBay.
August 28, 2011 at 2:08 pm
Log…log…log…log. Dammit kids. All you make is logs over and over. Where is your artistic spirit? If you can’t come up with something better than a log soon then I am giving you all food poisoning and we’ll see what kind of art you can make for me then!
August 28, 2011 at 2:23 pm
Prunes, green apples and spinach should provide some new looks to their art. Heard of the blue period, this will be their poo period. And if you have a girl you can have a period period for her menstrual art!
August 28, 2011 at 9:07 pm
Just feed the kid crayons or fruit loops.
August 28, 2011 at 2:28 pm
Come on, Mom, it’s all in the marketing:
What rolls downstairs alone or in pairs
Rolls over the neighbor’s dog?
What’s great for a snack, and fits on your back?
It’s log, log, log!
August 28, 2011 at 2:32 pm
Bonus Ren & Stimpy fuckery! Hooray!
August 28, 2011 at 5:16 pm
THAT’S AWESOME.
August 28, 2011 at 5:29 pm
One day my log will have something to say about this.
August 28, 2011 at 5:47 pm
I did it in the kitchen
I did it in the hall
I did it on my finger
And wiped it on the wall
diarrhea thhhp thhhp
diarrhea thhhp thhhp
some people think it’s funny
but it’s really nice and runny
diarrhea thhhp thhhp
August 28, 2011 at 5:52 pm
It’s log, it’s log,
It’s big, it’s heavy, it’s wood.
It’s log, it’s log,
It’s better than bad, it’s Good!
August 28, 2011 at 8:40 pm
Great, now I have that song stuck in my head.
August 28, 2011 at 1:43 pm
And once this kid gets starts solid food, there will be a wealth of sculpture to evaluate.
August 28, 2011 at 1:44 pm
If it’s true that “each morning…Daddy is eager to discover patterns” in your kid’s poopy diapers, then I’d start to worry about Daddy’s mental state. He needs to get out of the house, take some deep breaths of fresh air, maybe stop in at a bar and have a drink with some adults, for Christ’s sake! And maybe you should hide the sharp objects, “Mommy.”
August 28, 2011 at 2:25 pm
She needs to get out of the house. Grab the sprog and RUN, don’t walk because daddy is one bowel movement from losing it and making his own art with an ax & other people’s body parts.
August 28, 2011 at 1:46 pm
IT’S A SHITTY NAPPY.
YOU ARE SELLING A SHITTY NAPPY FOR $14.
I genuinely hope the next shitstorm goes all up a nice silk shirt or something. But hey, you won;t care, you’ll just sell it on!
August 28, 2011 at 1:49 pm
No, no, no–it’s a PICTURE of poop. You don’t even get the real thing!
August 28, 2011 at 1:57 pm
You know, if you asked me a couple years ago to list out things I’d never catch myself saying, “well, at least they aren’t selling the shitty diaper itself” would be pretty near the top of the list. And now I’m conditioned to say it with not only a note of surprise, but with a vague sense of disappointment.
Fuck you, Etsy.
August 28, 2011 at 1:46 pm
This is the dumbest shit I’ve seen.
August 28, 2011 at 2:28 pm
or the smartest shit. If they wanted to be on Regretsy, here they is. I’d personally like to use baby wipes here.
August 28, 2011 at 1:47 pm
…and that little baby grew up to become the new CEO of Etsy.
August 29, 2011 at 9:32 am
I wish I could give you an extra thumbs up for your user name!
August 31, 2011 at 6:42 am
August 28, 2011 at 1:48 pm
Shouldn’t this have been filed under “Bullshit” as well?
August 28, 2011 at 2:00 pm
Only if it was a baby bull…
August 28, 2011 at 1:48 pm
IT’S A SHITTY NAPPY.
YOU ARE SELLING A PICTURE OF SHITTY NAPPY FOR $14.
I genuinely hope the next shitstorm goes all up a nice silk shirt or something. But hey, you won’t care, you’ll just sell it on!
Seriously. I know your Crotchfruits bowels are wonderfully amazing to you, you poor, sleep-deprived idiot, but here’s a hint. NO-ONE ELSE IN THE UNIVERSE GIVES A FUCK. Your kid isn’t special, and like the rest of us, what comes out their arse is SHIT. Foul crappy waste.
August 28, 2011 at 1:49 pm
Wow. How’d that happen? Feel free to thumbdown the earlier comment.
August 28, 2011 at 2:05 pm
I kind of like the repost in the context of the first post.
August 28, 2011 at 1:52 pm
I’m ashamed to say that I totally see the image of the lady with the high hair do looking at a floating high heeled shoe.
You made me see things in poop.
hate
August 28, 2011 at 2:07 pm
I can see it too, and I have to admit the pattern is pretty good, Like how animals paint and somehow make shapes we can recognise as things.
But there is a huge difference between baby poo and a cute elephant holding a paintbrush and their “paintings”.
August 28, 2011 at 2:12 pm
I see some sort of monster thing on his/her knees crying in despair while facing away from a floating high heel shoe.
August 28, 2011 at 2:17 pm
When Daddy figures out there is way more money to be made from offering pseudopsychotherapy, you will be the first declared ‘healthy’ for seeing the correct images in the poop blots – congratulations!
August 28, 2011 at 3:34 pm
I see nothing but nasty baby shit.
August 28, 2011 at 5:16 pm
Rohr-shat blots?
August 28, 2011 at 1:52 pm
Tie dye? Naah, that’s too mainstream. We get our infant children to shit out unique patterns for our hand woven unisex Nature’s Womb Prayer Robes.
August 28, 2011 at 1:55 pm
Those tedious parent bores, they’re not content to make you wish you were dead by endlessly relating whatever their darling offspring has done today – now their baby’s anus is an Artiste, and why wouldn’t you pay for his creative ‘output’. I wish those people were here so I could slap them silly.
August 28, 2011 at 1:55 pm
I always thought “shitstain” was a derogatory term. Now I know it’s an artistic genre.
Wait, I take it back. It’s only an artistic genre if you are an Etsy CON ARTIST.
August 28, 2011 at 2:38 pm
I made this with their curating ability.
August 28, 2011 at 9:53 pm
I was going to say, a shitstain is a shitstain, no way around it (except bleach of course).
August 28, 2011 at 2:02 pm
I take this as a sign to get “shitfaced”, as the expression goes.
August 28, 2011 at 2:41 pm
And here I thought it was a sign for us to sober up, put on some nice clean underwear and head out for fast food. One of us is bound to come up with the next Mona Lisa!
August 28, 2011 at 2:08 pm
This kid will grow up to shove paint up their ass and shoot it onto canvas.
August 28, 2011 at 2:11 pm
Good thing they put a watermark on the photo, someone might steal it.
August 28, 2011 at 2:15 pm
“Would you like to see som pictures of my Grandchildren’s Shit?”
Awkward
August 28, 2011 at 2:20 pm
August 28, 2011 at 2:30 pm
Wha..? How on earth did you get my kid’s diaper? We were saving that pic for a slide show at his (hobo) wedding someday. His first “word” So proud!
August 28, 2011 at 2:27 pm
As an art student, this depresses me greatly.
August 28, 2011 at 2:51 pm
Cheer up. At least you’re not the child of these parents who will probably need meds when she realizes at 19 that mum and dad have been proudly sharing her poop for years with the world. On the internet nothing goes away.
I wonder if they’ve scrapbooked an album for her for when she grows up, too. Something to show the fiance and his family.
Wonder what’s next?
August 28, 2011 at 4:06 pm
As a human being this depresses me greatly.
August 28, 2011 at 7:02 pm
As an art history major, this reminds me of those insufferable modern and contemporary “art” lectures.
Which depresses me.
It’s a Circle of Wipe, if you will.
August 28, 2011 at 2:29 pm
Hmmm, business idea #487 spawned from reading this site. For $13.99 I will take a picture of my shit smears in the toilet, call it an impressionist image of rush hour traffic and make a killing. Then, I will be able to afford more fiber and my business will be in danger. No fear, I will then start visiting Wal*Mart bathrooms for more inspired pieces. Eureka! College degree smollege degree, cha-ching.
August 28, 2011 at 2:31 pm
I wonder how much I can make off pics of the pee stains on the toilet lid, rim, seat, sides and floor. Would totally make having to clean them up (in a house with FOUR guys) a little easier.
August 28, 2011 at 2:35 pm
Holy crapstains batman! We were all just subjected to a picture and small description. Can you just imagine what these peoples family and friends go through?!?!
*shudder*
August 28, 2011 at 2:39 pm
I just realized that I am too terrified to click and see if they have managed to SELL any of these – cause if these things sell I have a GOLDMINE walking and shitting around my house. However, I don’t want to become one of those people…but if the money is right…oh dear….Im so conflicted.
August 28, 2011 at 2:36 pm
I can just see the invitation for the child’s exhibit.
No butts about it!! Our little Leo is unquestionably a natural fartist. We are so flushed with his success that we are hosting a hole show of his work. “Feces Releases” will be on display at the local upChuck-E-Cheese, (thanks to manager Jack Shit)on the back wall near the restrooms. Please do stop by, we understand if you do not want to shake our hands.
Fucktard & Twatwaffle Da Stinky
August 28, 2011 at 3:30 pm
shoulda been “please DOO stop by”
August 28, 2011 at 5:17 pm
Please doo-doo stop by.
August 28, 2011 at 5:32 pm
Thank you both. How could I have overlooked that?! Must have shit-for-brains today.
August 28, 2011 at 2:46 pm
That’s the most pretentious shit I’ve ever seen.
August 28, 2011 at 2:55 pm
its a Rorschach test for scatologists
August 28, 2011 at 3:06 pm
August 28, 2011 at 3:10 pm
I shit you not (teehee), my not quite 2 year old daughter was looking at this post with me and pointed to it and said “Poo poo diaper?”
August 28, 2011 at 5:21 pm
Clearly she’s more intelligent than the seller.
August 28, 2011 at 3:17 pm
That better be a fucking joke!
Seriously, sat here almost praying that is curry and not baby shit.
August 28, 2011 at 4:34 pm
Oh… it IS baby shit my friend.
August 29, 2011 at 11:30 am
I can’t.. I WON’T believe it!
*puts hands over ears, cries and LA LA LA’s*
August 28, 2011 at 3:20 pm
A I reflect back upon the several thousand diapers I changed, not once did it occur to me to study the stinky, disgusting, smelly, crappy diapers for some horrific Rhorshock poop blot inspired art. I can’t imagine looking at a diaper full of runny shit, long enough to evaluate it for some kind of art.
BUT there is a guy, living someplace, who loves to hop up in the morning to photograph shit stains.
Yet another reason to add to my book of “1000 reasons I Hate People”
August 28, 2011 at 3:20 pm
REALLY? I just ate some delicous Trader Joe’s chocolate, get on the internet to relax for a minute and… *vom*
August 28, 2011 at 3:21 pm
delicious, even
August 28, 2011 at 4:17 pm
I see a Prada shoe spanging off of Joan River’s lakebed of a forehead.
.
Buyin’ it.
August 28, 2011 at 4:30 pm
My only question – why didn’t you file this under bullshit as well?
Having been/there done that… OK another question. How much is she drinking, and what is she snorting with it?!
August 28, 2011 at 5:25 pm
Pooping every day isn’t an INSTINCT; it’s a fucking bodily function. Running screaming from this thing . . . now THAT’S an instinct.
August 28, 2011 at 6:13 pm
Pooblo Picasso?
August 28, 2011 at 6:39 pm
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August 28, 2011 at 6:58 pm
Regretsy, you make me see the world with new eyes. Heinz Ketchup now has a big “Guess what my bottle is made of?” on the front label. Judging from the horrified looks the other customers in Max & Erma’s gave me, the correct answer is NOT “Placenta!” Topic related, I feel sorry for this kid if in 13 years Dad demands she hands over her Always pads each morning so he can look for hidden meaning.
August 28, 2011 at 9:04 pm
Are we sure these are not the same idiots who tried to sell the placenta-stained mattress?
August 29, 2011 at 8:44 am
The Max & Erma’s near me closed. I miss their pretzels.
Because they were in Atlanta, they had to sell Coke in cans in addition to the Pepsi fountain drinks. It’s a firing offense for a Coke employee to be seen drinking what might be a competitor’s product.
August 28, 2011 at 6:59 pm
What a shitty thing to do to somebody. That poor child is going to be in over it’s head with a “parent” like that.
He needs a coffee mug that says #2 DAD
August 28, 2011 at 7:08 pm
August 29, 2011 at 5:27 am
This is the same variety of crazy as menstrual art or placenta consumption. Overly-sentimental glorification of bodily waste.
I think there’s a meaningful difference between loving your infant daughter and romanticizing parenthood to the point of trying to preserve your infant daughter’s shit stains.
August 29, 2011 at 8:33 am
but seriously now… i can see the image, sure, but that doesn’t mean if i hung the photograph on a wall without the accompanying description that it would look more like a lady and a shoe than it does a soiled diaper.
August 29, 2011 at 9:18 am
“tomorrow, less peas, more bean curd….”
August 29, 2011 at 11:48 am
I have just one question: how the hell did anyone think this was a good idea?
August 29, 2011 at 2:32 pm
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August 29, 2011 at 6:39 pm
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August 30, 2011 at 12:54 pm
I can’t unsee it … I can’t, I can’t … *sob*
September 1, 2011 at 11:54 am
What saddens me the most is there will be someone out there who will buy this because it’s “unique” or “edgy” or whatever synonym for “horrible” you can come up with.
September 10, 2011 at 4:09 am
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