Derp Roundup
I used to shop at HailMart™ until they started doing those Holy Rollbacks.
Your hair may be held at a government facility for several weeks, but you can still talk to it through the glass.
Is there anything better than a personolized apple? Besides a persololized one, I mean? If I could just get a trolololized one, I’d be pretty fucking psyched.
Oh, I’m pretty sure there’s enough jerking going on Burning Man. Especially at the Jiffy Lube Camp.
Okay, it’s not a mouse. But in their defense, it may have been mislabeled on Alibaba.
I love breaded leather almost as much as I love suede-ish meatballs.
August 25, 2011 at 2:11 pm
Spelling aside, I’m kind of in love with that apple cozy – makes the fruit look like it’s all set to rob a bank!
August 25, 2011 at 2:14 pm
Me, too–I’m a little embarrassed at how much I want one. Especially if it’s persolololololized.
August 26, 2011 at 12:55 pm
That will teach that bitch at work, with her perfect little leather-bound planner that matches her checkbook, who never has any loose receipts in the bottom of her purse. I have an apple in a persolololoized cozy. I bet she never even heard of that.
August 25, 2011 at 2:16 pm
why the hell do you need a cozy for a piece of fruit?
August 25, 2011 at 2:18 pm
You may not think your fruit needs a sweater, but trust me…IT DOES.
August 25, 2011 at 10:07 pm
Why? Is it going to Finland too?
Oh, and goatse!
August 25, 2011 at 2:21 pm
It’s not a cozy, it’s a vest to keep the apple from bruising, silly. Because everyone knows that apples bruise like peaches.
August 25, 2011 at 2:40 pm
Its my fault really… I took a big swig of water as I started to read comments and I almost drowned when I started laughing.
August 26, 2011 at 12:19 am
This is why I only drink immediately proceeding or following reading the comments. I did, however, volcano a bowl. >.<
August 25, 2011 at 3:20 pm
Because it’s ungodly and shameful to eat nekkid fruit, SINNER!
August 25, 2011 at 4:33 pm
This seems like a serious piece of hipster bullshit to me. Apples don’t need clothes.
August 25, 2011 at 6:36 pm
Verily, after the apple saw Adam and Eve put on clothes, it demanded a cozy!
August 25, 2011 at 2:16 pm
There used to be ninja apple cozies on Etsy. I can’t find them now, though. Which of course means that I want one.
August 25, 2011 at 3:13 pm
But it’s STARING at me!
August 25, 2011 at 3:52 pm
Sillies… it’s woolly fetish wear for fruitophiles. Combine both your kinks into one!
August 25, 2011 at 5:17 pm
Did anyone else look at the cozy and immediately think apple balaclava??
August 26, 2011 at 8:07 pm
Don’t know what happened to the pic?
August 25, 2011 at 9:00 pm
I have knitted fruit cozies before. I have a lot of shit in my purse and I throw fruit in there for the kid to snack on so that he’s not begging me for whatever crap he sees at the store. It does keep the apples or whatever from getting poked with inkpens, knitting needles, getting gum stuck on it. Yeah, I know, I could clean my purse, but that’s no fun.
August 26, 2011 at 4:55 am
I think it’s quarantined because it died, probably in some terrible way
August 26, 2011 at 8:21 am
Yes, Yes… that’s it. A ski mask. It certainly doesn’t look like a bondage mask. Nope!
O.o
August 27, 2011 at 10:33 am
I think I saw that apple in Silence of the Yams.
August 25, 2011 at 2:11 pm
13 years of Catholic school and I never did warm up to Mart.
August 25, 2011 at 2:47 pm
Well they never told us that she was a Lacy Angel Goddess rather than some chick that got miraculously knocked up. Lacy Angel Goddess is just so much more fancy and relate-able.
August 25, 2011 at 2:57 pm
She could be a bit snarky.
August 26, 2011 at 12:59 pm
Holy Mart, Mother of Dog, pray for us poor spellers, now and at the hour of our edits.
Amen.
August 25, 2011 at 2:11 pm
Why do people always want to put cozies on everything? Why does even a piece of fruit have to be a pain in the ass? That has nothing to do with the derp. I just don’t understand the need to complicate life with nonstop bullshit.
August 25, 2011 at 2:17 pm
Because you must protect your apple from lurking dangers! Like air, water, and dirty glances.
August 25, 2011 at 2:20 pm
Also teeth, apparently.
August 25, 2011 at 2:23 pm
This is America. I’ll sneer at my fruit if I want to.
August 25, 2011 at 2:31 pm
You can’t have nekkid fruits laying around! Think of the children!
August 25, 2011 at 2:38 pm
They gotta learn somehow.
August 25, 2011 at 3:07 pm
Then why not cover the bananas?
August 25, 2011 at 4:54 pm
Ohhh, you could make banana cosies that look like penises! And penis cosies that look like bananas! Excuse me, I need to go write up a business plan…
August 25, 2011 at 5:08 pm
http://www.bananaguard.com/
August 25, 2011 at 5:11 pm
I would buy a banana cozy, just to leave it lying around the office after lunch.
August 25, 2011 at 5:28 pm
Banana Boners!!
August 25, 2011 at 10:05 pm
This guy is so big on being tidy that I thought he might like the banana keeper.
August 25, 2011 at 2:12 pm
Ignoring the derp and just wondering how wearing newspaper could possibly be comfortable in the desert. Oh wait. Drugs make everything feel more comfortable.
August 25, 2011 at 2:13 pm
Easy access for all the jerking.
August 25, 2011 at 2:13 pm
*smacks head* of course!
August 25, 2011 at 2:18 pm
Easy cleanup, too. Just tear off the outer layer when you’re finished.
August 25, 2011 at 2:16 pm
I’m picturing ink/sweat transfer to the ass. Like we used to do with Silly Putty.
August 25, 2011 at 2:21 pm
Can’t unread… >.<
August 25, 2011 at 6:26 pm
Combined with the ass picture above, that’s just unpleasant.
August 25, 2011 at 2:18 pm
Moreover, it is sweaty, used newspaper. I don’t even want to think about where it was stored for a year…
August 25, 2011 at 4:35 pm
Hmmm…. sweat papier mache. How comfy!
August 25, 2011 at 5:43 pm
Well, at least it will look nice with the sweatwater pearls!
August 25, 2011 at 2:20 pm
Except speaking to your parents. That never got any better.
I don’t miss being a teenager…
August 25, 2011 at 2:38 pm
“Drugs make everything more comfortable except speaking to your parents *while you’re high*”
What I wrote kinda makes me sound like a sad mopey fucker.
I’ve had to write little edits on comments here three times in the past week alone. I think I might take a siesta from commenting for a bit. I can’t tell if I’ve been too drunk or too sober to be doing this correctly. Until I find the right balance, you can find me breakdancing naked on the kitchen floor in a pool of Goldschläger.
August 25, 2011 at 4:58 pm
I think you’re my new Regretsy crush.
August 25, 2011 at 6:26 pm
Something tells me this might get complicated by my having a penis… and not, like, in a jar or on a couch cushion, but on my pelvis.
But… I… appreciate it?
I’m not good at concluding things.
…
Vaginahornets.
August 25, 2011 at 4:55 pm
I’m imagining what would happen if somebody wearing that dress got too close to a fire.
August 25, 2011 at 5:13 pm
They’d be burning, man.
(I’m sorry, I had to.)
August 25, 2011 at 5:13 pm
No worries. Why would there be fire at Burning Man?
August 25, 2011 at 2:12 pm
I’d buy the headband but she doesn’t indicate if she used Italian breadcrumbs – the others are too bland, particularly with leather.
August 25, 2011 at 2:15 pm
Panko all the way, baby.
August 25, 2011 at 2:13 pm
Wonder how they get that newspaper to stay stiff and maintain shape… wait, no I think I figured it out…
August 25, 2011 at 2:14 pm
That newspaper outfit is SO hobo chic. I’m not going to comment on the juxtaposition of the word ‘jerking’ with a half naked hippie chick because it’s just too easy… pun intended.
Also, can we PLEASE get “sacred hart of mart” onto a T shirt?
August 25, 2011 at 3:22 pm
Not a tee, but thought that you might like this
August 25, 2011 at 4:26 pm
I hate the be the Southpark guy…but…
August 25, 2011 at 6:52 pm
Augh, I’ve been here too long – I see a Goatse in Jesus’ chest.
August 25, 2011 at 7:41 pm
Actually it’s Mary’s chest but Goatse On anyway.
August 28, 2011 at 4:42 pm
Dammit, you’re right aliceblue. It’s been a hell of a long time since catechism school….
August 26, 2011 at 8:55 am
I do like it, yes, yes. A nice little piece of whimsicle fckery for a Friday lunch break
August 26, 2011 at 6:32 pm
I’m so glad. I’d hate to be going to hell for nothing.
August 25, 2011 at 2:14 pm
Also, “angel goddess”? I suspect the seller of that one may not actually be Catholic.
August 25, 2011 at 3:23 pm
My favorite is “English words.” I suspect that seller may not speak English, either.
August 25, 2011 at 4:58 pm
I liked that she admitted she was a wholesaler right in the blurb.
August 25, 2011 at 2:14 pm
that last one is too perfect. you have a gift for puns.
August 25, 2011 at 2:17 pm
Thanks! It was actually unintentional, which makes it so much more fun.
August 25, 2011 at 2:19 pm
i meant the last photo in the post haha, but your pun was good too
..suede-ish meatballs got me good
August 25, 2011 at 2:15 pm
Additionally, that blue and black hair certainly looks like it needs to be quarantined.
August 25, 2011 at 5:11 pm
Especially since it died.
August 25, 2011 at 6:32 pm
Spotted that too, did you?
August 25, 2011 at 7:45 pm
It died right at the manufacture. So it died while they were making it, or when it arrived? And was it still attached to the human? So many questions… but that explains the quarantine.
August 25, 2011 at 8:12 pm
Zombie extensions need to be quarantined.
August 26, 2011 at 2:07 pm
It really needs to be kept in cold storage at the morgue.
August 25, 2011 at 2:15 pm
I feel bad for the mouse who is forever stuck with the eagle on that necklace. It will be constantly terrified for its life.
August 25, 2011 at 2:18 pm
Especially with that cat there; that’s GOT to be nightmare material for a mouse.
August 25, 2011 at 2:20 pm
I know, right? He must be hiding out inside the locket.
August 25, 2011 at 5:11 pm
No, he’s inside the cat.
August 26, 2011 at 2:13 pm
Put a snake on there too, and you’ll have the ultimate in mouse horror.
August 25, 2011 at 2:16 pm
Don’t forget that brilliant blue died at the manufacturer…mmmmm corpse hair!
From synthetic corpses, of course…
August 25, 2011 at 2:48 pm
Aww, I was hoping nobody had mentioned the other small derp.
August 26, 2011 at 2:08 pm
I know!
August 25, 2011 at 5:18 pm
They call them “manufacturer” in China, in the west we call them Serial Killers.
August 25, 2011 at 2:16 pm
yes! suede-ish meatballs! thanks. i needed that today.
August 25, 2011 at 2:16 pm
I really want to know what dangers are lurking outside my purse or lunch bag!!!!
August 25, 2011 at 2:33 pm
My purse is now quivering in the corner, scared of what might be lurking out there. DAMN YOU, ETSY!!!!! You’ve traumatized my handbag!
August 25, 2011 at 2:53 pm
*shudder* You don’t. Trust me, you don’t!
August 25, 2011 at 3:03 pm
I lost 20 minutes somewhere. I was replying to your initial post, Iggypickle.
August 25, 2011 at 7:53 pm
I figured it out! Mugsy Doodle!
August 25, 2011 at 5:12 pm
In my case, the dangers are lurking inside my purse.
August 25, 2011 at 2:17 pm
That’s the Hannibal Lecter of apple cozies.
August 25, 2011 at 2:18 pm
“died right at the manufacture”
They killed someone for that hair? I guess that explains the quarantine, then.
And which “celebrity” am I going to feel like when I wear it?
August 25, 2011 at 2:22 pm
Katy Perry?
August 25, 2011 at 2:24 pm
If you are of a certain age and can get to the salon, you can get a blue rinse. No quarantined hair needed.
(The blue rinse doesn’t always work, though. One of my long-ago Sunday-school teachers ended up with lavender hair.)
Good on the puns!
August 25, 2011 at 4:35 pm
Mr. Humphries, leave my pussy alone!
August 25, 2011 at 4:50 pm
Captain Peacock! Are you free?
August 25, 2011 at 7:46 pm
Oh, put it all away, Miss Brahms.
August 25, 2011 at 9:40 pm
Captain Peacock, this is sexy knickers.
August 26, 2011 at 1:03 pm
My mom would like a lavender rinse. She’s been talking about getting all her gray hairs rinsed purple. (The rest of her hair is very dark.) My mom is one of those people who’s really into purple everything.
August 25, 2011 at 2:34 pm
Lucy Liu after a fight with a razor?
August 25, 2011 at 2:18 pm
I’m not entirely sure I have an dangers to apples lurking in my handbag
August 25, 2011 at 6:15 pm
Maybe not in your handbag, but fructoterrorism is rampant.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x6XU48MWJOo
August 25, 2011 at 2:20 pm
Mother of Capitalism, rejoice, Mart full of goods, the Cash is with thee. Blessed art though amongst retail establishments, and blessed is the contents of thy cart, for thou hast transferred our Manufacturing overseas.
August 25, 2011 at 2:20 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
August 25, 2011 at 2:30 pm
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August 25, 2011 at 2:40 pm
I’m not going, either. But I am going to the North Georgia Regional in October!
August 25, 2011 at 4:40 pm
Serious question, regional what? I live in the NW corner of SC, so I’m curious what fun may be occurring nearby!
August 26, 2011 at 6:28 am
@kimoutre you missed Transformus in Asheville, NC last month (PLF was there with the rest of the sound camps – woo!) but Alchemy is coming in October in northern Georgia. Won’t make that one (boo!) and there’s a good crew that we hang out with from time to time from Raleigh, NC.
August 26, 2011 at 6:31 am
P. S. Those are regional burns. Same people who go to Burning Man, plus those who don’t have the funds / free time / etc. to go out there.
August 26, 2011 at 9:51 am
Thanks, James4765! I’ve been Googling and finding good stuff. Transformus does sound the most like me, with a bigger focus on the art. The great stuff you learn on Regretsy!
August 25, 2011 at 2:21 pm
I prefer tempura leather.
August 25, 2011 at 2:24 pm
A few thoughts…
Maybe they were thinking about Conrad’s novel The Heart of Martness
On the hair, unless it was removed from a blue haired corpse I don’t see how it could be ” natural and died at manufacture” and you can only look like your favorite celeb if it happens to be Smurfette
Finally, the apple cozy would only make sense if Eve was into bondage.
August 25, 2011 at 2:42 pm
Don’t you dare presume what kind of kink Eve appreciated.
August 25, 2011 at 2:59 pm
Let’s just say that HER snakeskin had a snake in it & not an old branch.
August 25, 2011 at 2:26 pm
*I* was on the playa last year, and I’m sure I would remember some dimwit walking around, covered in newspaper. Personally, I wouldn’t wear a newspaper vest(?) that someone openly admits to wearing in the desert for a week. The year before.
August 25, 2011 at 2:57 pm
Serio. Who the fuck would want to wear a newspaper with last years date on it?! That’s so 2010!
August 25, 2011 at 3:06 pm
Ironic hipsters?
August 25, 2011 at 4:42 pm
It would be even better to source your newspaper from hoarders, for that cooler-than-thou vintage newspaper jerk dress!
August 26, 2011 at 1:05 pm
It’s a VINTAGE, IRONIC newspaper jerkin. That makes it valuable.
August 25, 2011 at 3:12 pm
Ha ha, I had totally understood that to mean “on the playah”, you know, the one who was jerking. Well, this is marginally better.
August 25, 2011 at 2:27 pm
Being the heart of mart is better than being the whore of store though, so you gotta give the seller that….
August 25, 2011 at 2:28 pm
And why does that apple look like it needs a safe-word?
August 25, 2011 at 4:31 pm
Is anyone else thinking “apple goatse?” Just me? Figures.
August 25, 2011 at 2:30 pm
My friend’s mom is Swedish. She asked her mom one day if she ever made Swedish meatballs. She looked at her and said “every meatball I make is Swedish. Touche Lady…Touche.
August 25, 2011 at 2:32 pm
That’s it. My new religion is the Sacred Church of Mart. Mart is my personal lord and savior.
August 25, 2011 at 2:43 pm
Goddamn Mart-worshipping Catholics.
August 25, 2011 at 4:47 pm
Have we seen pics of his naked torso yet? Or maybe he’s the one who emailed HK from inside her house. I like to check out my new deities’ appealingness as icons before making rash decisions.
August 25, 2011 at 5:31 pm
Rev. Billy would not approve.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h8kwAftPLlU
August 25, 2011 at 9:19 pm
August 25, 2011 at 2:32 pm
I’m crying @ “suede-ish meatballs. I’m going to be guffawing about that for HOURS if not days or weeks.
…and for $3.99, if that watch works for even 1 day, it’s worth the price…just throw away the “mouse” (do they even LOOK at what shit they’re gluing – or hanging – on other shit before they describe it?
Man, this post is just chock full of Greatness in Fuqueri!
August 25, 2011 at 3:15 pm
Or ordering from Alibaba.com
August 25, 2011 at 2:34 pm
Since I’m a middle school sex-ed teacher, I’m constantly putting condoms on bananas, which double as a cozy.
(sometimes as a goof I put Trojans on cucumbers, for my more “urban” students)
ThoughtsFromParis
August 25, 2011 at 2:34 pm
My friend had a mouse problem, but didn’t like the idea of deadly traps so he got a “humane” trap that kept the mouse alive. We took it to a nearby hillside and set it free and withing about 15 seconds a hawk came out of nowhere and snatched the mouse up. That’s what I thought of when I saw the eagle and “mouse” charms together, only it seems to be a kitty. oh well. Why would the eagle and mouse go together anyways?
August 25, 2011 at 4:50 pm
Even more than the poor combination of animals, I am bothered by the poor combination of styles. I know, I’ll hang a cartoon-y kitty off a semi-realistic eagle watch! How chic!
August 25, 2011 at 2:39 pm
The person selling those lacy pendants with goddess images is soooo obviously not Catholic. Those are the center pieces for rosaries (also known as those bead necklaces with the crosses).
August 25, 2011 at 4:38 pm
That reminds me that I need to follow up with that fantastic rosary maker that April featured on here.
August 25, 2011 at 5:54 pm
I bought one from her and it’s really gorgeous. The Heart of Mart ones don’t look very attractive anyway – something’s wrong with Mart’s face – it looks kind of demonic.
August 25, 2011 at 6:50 pm
There’s also a screaming demon at the bottom of the charm. “Hey, Derp, can’t you tell the difference between T and Y? God!”
August 26, 2011 at 1:07 pm
Do you recall the store name? (Brief drop of snark, I like rosaries.)
August 26, 2011 at 1:47 pm
Yes, it was http://www.etsy.com/people/kriswinningham?ref=ls_profile
I saw the one April bought and asked her to make me one. I think she got a lot of business from us Catholic regretsians.
August 26, 2011 at 1:58 pm
Thanks!
August 25, 2011 at 6:30 pm
The seller is obviously not a Westerner, since they are tagged “English words” and the seller clearly doesn’t know or care what the words are. Kind of like how we wear bracelets here with Chinese writing just for decoration.
August 25, 2011 at 2:42 pm
No, this is the best light costume when the temperature is high, and it was on the playa last year, too. Also, I believe it has been laundered since then. Better Burning Man outfit
August 25, 2011 at 4:12 pm
I wore as little as I could without being completely naked last year. Regretably, I haven’t been in the best of shape in a couple of years, so I still had to cover the extra weight I packed on. If I go next summer, I’m sure as hell going to trim down a bit so I can be comfortable!
August 25, 2011 at 2:52 pm
The apple listing says “There is an option for your boyfriend or husband, too”, and I’ve gotta admit, I’m curious. Does that mean a “male” friendly cozy, or a cozy for husbands/boyfriends?
http://www.etsy.com/listing/79568465/personolize-apple-cozy
August 25, 2011 at 3:15 pm
The dissonance between Spock in your avatar and Spork in your name befuddles me in a pleasing way.
(I like both sporks and Spock.)
August 25, 2011 at 4:52 pm
Apple cozy with a peen?
August 25, 2011 at 2:53 pm
Breaded headband lady changed the title of her listing but not the description.
August 25, 2011 at 2:59 pm
I’ve never been to Burning Man. How much Jerking takes place out there?
August 25, 2011 at 3:01 pm
It depends on which way you swing.
August 25, 2011 at 4:14 pm
Let’s put it this way: last year, there was a cunnilingus contest, and blow job classes. I could list all of the planned sexual activity if I knew where my guide book for 2010′s event was.
August 25, 2011 at 4:59 pm
And this is the first time in my life I’ve actually found a reason to want to go. Why did no one TELL me these things?!
August 25, 2011 at 5:32 pm
I am hoping the cunnilingus contest was in the first few days of a week in the Desert without showers.
August 25, 2011 at 6:07 pm
Day 3 or 4, I believe. I would know for sure if I had my 2010 guide on hand. But, you would be surprised how many women actually take care of themselves down there during Burning Man to avoid UTIs. Hell, I took douche and baby wipes.
August 26, 2011 at 12:24 pm
You had me at “cunnilingus contest.” Who wants to help me break a world record?
August 25, 2011 at 3:05 pm
An apple cozy. What the fuck.
Do normal people actually use these? I can’t see the logic in wanting to put a cardi on a fucking APPLE.
Also, I wouldn’t want to wear newspaper. ESPECIALLY in high temperatures. I’d be paranoid about catching fire.
August 25, 2011 at 3:06 pm
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August 25, 2011 at 3:14 pm
Does my apple really need a chastity belt?
August 25, 2011 at 3:16 pm
Or a gimp mask?
August 25, 2011 at 4:08 pm
August 25, 2011 at 4:40 pm
It’s the great luchador, El Manzana!
August 25, 2011 at 11:53 pm
Depends on the variety. Granny Smith is slowing down a bit now, but those Red & Yellow Delicious girls are real fruit floozies.
August 25, 2011 at 3:17 pm
That newspaper jerkin is SO homeless chic, perfect for that hobo wedding or Depression era prom! I’ll have to pass on the blue black hair though. If it died in manufacturing and has to be ordered in quarantine I don’t want it.
August 25, 2011 at 3:22 pm
I am a big admirer of new style Antique, way better than old style Modern.
August 25, 2011 at 3:23 pm
I’ve heard of “bead head” but never “bread head.” I must be behind with the current fashions.
August 25, 2011 at 3:26 pm
My sister saw a Craigslist post recently for “Hair Breading”. I told her to go for it, but to bring the unseasoned crumbs in case the person who posted doesn’t like Italian.
August 25, 2011 at 3:36 pm
A paper garment. At Burning Man. Yeah, that sounds like a plan. . . .
August 25, 2011 at 4:56 pm
Oh, it is. Just not a good one.
August 25, 2011 at 3:37 pm
The person selling the paper rags as clothing seems to think that people actually go to burning man to get, well, burned.
August 25, 2011 at 3:47 pm
they don’t?
August 25, 2011 at 3:53 pm
I am reminded of a brilliant line from essay peer evaluation back in college: “Darwin originated his theories from the breading of domestic animals.”
August 25, 2011 at 5:58 pm
Specifically the chicken nugget.
August 26, 2011 at 7:46 am
Tasty, tasty theories.
August 25, 2011 at 4:08 pm
I just bought the exact hair extensions for 2/$1.00 from
a dollar store that sells merchandise from China.
August 25, 2011 at 4:29 pm
Watch out Hello Kitty. That eagle looks hungry.
August 25, 2011 at 4:38 pm
You make it harder and harder to pick the worst one!
August 25, 2011 at 4:58 pm
August 25, 2011 at 5:28 pm
Apple’s got kind of a Hannibal Lecter look now…
August 25, 2011 at 7:19 pm
August 25, 2011 at 7:48 pm
I preferred the old Stig.
August 25, 2011 at 5:08 pm
Breaded leather? Pffft, everyone knows it’s the best when you batter it.
August 25, 2011 at 5:22 pm
I’d be more concerned with protecting my apple from the dangers lurking inside my purse or lunch bag.
And that breaded headband is out for me … I’m watching my carbs.
August 25, 2011 at 6:58 pm
It’s hard to watch ‘em when they’re tied around your head.
August 25, 2011 at 5:31 pm
Oh! I submitted the cat-mouse. *basks in extremely reflected glory.*
August 25, 2011 at 5:57 pm
What’s up with your naked apple?
You need a cozy. Respect the apple.
August 25, 2011 at 6:18 pm
Breaded Leather lady is looking so sad. She must be thinking, “Damn it. How will I get all this breading out of my hair? Someone might think it’s dandruff! You can take your seed pearls and shove ‘em, you moron.”
If that is what passes as headgear and/or a belt these days, I think I have some New Style Antique Vintage shoelaces in the back of my closet that I could stick some plastic beads on and sell for $40+ easy. You could use them multipurpose!
August 25, 2011 at 7:05 pm
August 25, 2011 at 7:19 pm
Were it not for the egregious typo, I would buy one of those “Immaculate Mart” charms. I love Catholic iconography.
As it is, I couldn’t wear it without thinking “Mork from Ork”.
August 26, 2011 at 6:14 am
Not sure why you got thumbs-downed…I thought of Mork too
maybe it was the pretentious use of “egregious”?
but then, I’ll get down-thumbed for the pretentious use of “pretentious”, so…
August 26, 2011 at 2:25 pm
I like the word egregious.
August 25, 2011 at 8:00 pm
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August 25, 2011 at 8:15 pm
August 25, 2011 at 9:05 pm
That apple cozy looks like the lamest power ranger mask ever.
August 26, 2011 at 6:22 am
Am I the only one?
August 26, 2011 at 8:28 am
When I see the Mary pendant, I think of my friend Brian’s dad, Mart. Which throws a whole other six levels of weird into the equation.
August 26, 2011 at 9:04 am
So the Blessed Virgin Mary is now a “Lacy Angel Goddess.”
I have no words.
August 26, 2011 at 1:38 pm
That Personolize Apple Cozy reminded me of this pic I took a few years back:
Mmmm…frozon. My favorite.
August 26, 2011 at 2:27 pm
Well, if the breaded headband is baked, we’re fine. I just can’t do fried leather.
August 26, 2011 at 6:14 pm
OMG…I totally had to buy some of the “immaculate heart of St Mart”! I am so making some rosaries, and will send you one if you want April.
August 27, 2011 at 8:33 pm
Will they be Lego rosaries?
August 30, 2011 at 12:12 pm
Um…there could be.
August 26, 2011 at 6:38 pm
Vintage glass, vintage pearls, vintage look….
methinksthe seller doth protest too much.August 27, 2011 at 4:51 am
I prefer the died hair extensions. No corpses were harmed in the making of these sweet clips.
August 27, 2011 at 10:09 am
I ate something that tasted like breaded leather once. Don’t blame me, I didn’t choose Applebee’s.
August 29, 2011 at 12:52 pm
Immaculate heart of st mart–could it be the next fun Regretsy game? I might have to make a twitter just for Regretsy games. Best collection of fuckery and jealous bitches ever.