I’d totally use the cookie cutter specifically because it’s phallic. Then again, I’d also totally serve boobie pasta to my friends. You just kinda have to be a special kind of weird to embrace the phallus-ness.
Totally had penis shaped pasta salad at my bachelorette party. Although, in hindsight, I should have used a vinaigrette rather than, ahem, mayonnaise based dressing.
Sam, seriously, as if men don’t get all squishy inside (and hard on the outside) when they see anything remotely mammary- or vulva-shaped—and we all know your gender has a wild imagination, so almost anything qualifies.
And who was it who built the Washington Monument in Washington, D.C.? (In case you’re not familiar with it, here are a few photos, because I can’t put a photo here and because I wanted to see a dozen or more phallic symbols on one page: http://tinyurl.com/3ptt9y3) Think THAT is useful to any woman? No, and it sure made the architect’s wife feel very sad and empty…well, I don’t need to go into details, do I?
p.s. I thought you might be kidding, so I gave you a thumbs-up, and part of that was because your videos are so awesome…but don’t make me regret it, young man!
p.p.s. Ever consider doing your videos wearing nothing but a towel? Just a thought.
“Penes” or “Penises”. Unless you’re a nincompoop who spells the singular as “penus”, in which case the correct Latin plural would be “penii”. But you don’t want to be that nincompoop.
As I recall, the majority of us not only liked peni, but someone coined the phrase “undulating peni” to describe the veritable sea of peni offered on Etsy. It is just fun to say – peni, peni, undulating peni! One of those times grammar must step aside
As a freelance writer and editor who graduated magna cum laude with a BA in English (concentration in grammar and composition), I have to concur. Whenever penii are involved, grammar can go fuck itself.
Both the self-proclaimed grammarians have used “lol”; one as part of a screen name, and the other as the sort of verbal-tic interjection that makes my teeth grind together.
However, the latter did capitalize all three letters, indicating its origin as an acronym for “laugh(ing) out loud”, and is therefore the superior lolling grammarian. And agrees with us on “penii”.
You know, I posted essentially the same thing a little while back, and I got mostly thumbs up– I think the difference is, I didn’t stoop to insults. Courtesy goes a long way.
I’m sorry but English is my second language, so please tell me: which one is it preferable to use in a formal conversation? Because it sure comes up a lot at parties…
Speaking as someone wh has a penis AND balls, I am very happy that they are different; however, it is only when they come together that the real fun begins.
Yes, for an adult, but if I had crotchfruit, no way would that be in their room. For little boys it would be depressing never to live “up” to a frog; for girls, don’t think any boyfriend will satisfy them after growing up with Dick the Frog.
For boys, it might be inspirational: That frog seems to be focused on his rod and is VERY happy (his eyes, I mean his eyes!). So, the lesson would be: Appreciate what you were given and what you cannot change and don’t…oh, who am I kidding? It would traumatize a boy for life.
So The Fairy Circle is a strip club right? I’m getting images of Tinkerbell twirling around a pole with a g-string full of cash as the Lost Boys look on.
There is always something in this post that makes me think of my fiances dad and last time they yoinked it before I could buy. THAT FROG IS MINE and I hope they accept my customization request for a pink rod and purple head!
Completely off subject, I just noticed your avatar and screen name.
That is one badass chic. Nothing says lovin’ like Skags burning from Lilith’s phoenix skill.
I had a mod that game +3 to it after I maxed it out. I loved killing one Spiderant or whatever and watching them all just drop. Favorite class and skill
Oh. My. God. My sister-in-law has this ringtone that sounds like “burl burpa burpa burpa burl burl” and she smokes a lot of pot. My boyfriend and I always always always make fun of her ringtone. This stash jar is perfect for her!
I posses a large sandalwood carved bottle opener from Bali. It has been lovingly carved and sanded into a penis. You have to grab the shaft to engage in opening. I give it to visitors who dare ask me for a Budweiser or similarly cheap American beer.
I don’t know about all you other fat, ugly, jealous losers, but I would MUCH rather see Towel Mike’s penis. Or any of the other hot guys who have allowed us to objectify them.
Just sayin.
I went to Ireland and walked around a “real faery ring” up near co. Clare. There were no phallic mushrooms, just some random grooved area of trees.
In one of the pictures you could see a flash of bright green between the trees that was the hoodie of my tour guide. Mum thought it was a fairy and it took months to convince her otherwise.
Long story short, I should be selling said photo on Etsy with some bullshit story about faeries, but I don’t have enough booze to make me do it.
It looks as if a fungus is attacking his head *scroll* and his shirt is unbuttoned *scroll, scroll* and holy mother of all that is human, what the hell!?!?!
“Fleshy pink balls” snicker snort – I hope the seller wrote it that way on purpose, otherwise they’re dumber than a sack of hair. I really like the stash jar – I’m a sucker for redwood burl (I still have the table I bought in Big Sur in 1973).
And what the holy flying fuck is that “fashion” photo all about?! “I was wanking in the bushes, minding my own business when someone put a turquoise curly straw up my sleeve and pointed me down a runway”? Yikes!
The second listing is completely pornographic. The little things even have veins! “She is so innocent and delicate”. Yes, I’m sure she’ll stay that way in happy fairy penis land.
Using relevancy on Etsy- does that mean I type in looks like a penis, resembles a penis, has penis in the title or tags, rhymes with penis, multiples penises, or shaped like a penis? I’m confused!
I have that “mushroom” cookie cutter. It came in a pack of cutters with a flower, a star of david, and a four pointed star. It was, if I am recalling correctly, in a blisterpack on a card labeled “Christmas Cookie Cutters”.
I’d have kept the package intact (pun intended and you are powerless to stop it) for the sheer humor value, but I bought it for the star of david cutter because I thought it would be amusing to bring star of david gingerbread cookies to my first Christmas with my Ex-Hubby’s very catholic family as a thank you for the 6 months of awkward and borderline offensive questions I’d been welcomed to the family with about being jewish.
Could I add this as ‘looks like penis’?
I actually think it’s rather wonderfully painted and I like her work.
But this particular piece does seem a squit penissy.
August 22, 2011 at 5:39 pm
oh my….. now I am craving salami.
August 22, 2011 at 5:50 pm
A big fat long salami to just bite right into.
August 22, 2011 at 8:30 pm
I crave a Towel Mike.
August 22, 2011 at 9:27 pm
…to just bite right into.
August 22, 2011 at 5:40 pm
Well ribbit ribbit to you too, Mr. Frog.
August 22, 2011 at 5:41 pm
Aw, the teddy bear peg board has a friend!
Evidently, they’ll both be quite happy to see each other.
August 22, 2011 at 5:41 pm
OMG who told you my birthday was coming up?! It’s a cock-wishlist of love!
August 22, 2011 at 5:42 pm
Shroom-dick cookies and bajingo cupcakes for all!
August 22, 2011 at 6:45 pm
Damn you, now I have to find a shortcut to bajingo cupcakes so I can steal your idea and use it.
August 22, 2011 at 5:41 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
August 22, 2011 at 5:46 pm
I really don’t want to know what you’d use that for. There are parts that look like they could…break off, or something.
August 22, 2011 at 5:52 pm
I was going to say one thing, and then my mind went completely in the gutter. I see what you did there.
August 22, 2011 at 5:56 pm
I’m not really sure that anyone *wants* to use these? Do YOU want to use them??
August 22, 2011 at 9:02 pm
I’d totally use the cookie cutter specifically because it’s phallic. Then again, I’d also totally serve boobie pasta to my friends. You just kinda have to be a special kind of weird to embrace the phallus-ness.
August 23, 2011 at 12:26 am
Totally had penis shaped pasta salad at my bachelorette party. Although, in hindsight, I should have used a vinaigrette rather than, ahem, mayonnaise based dressing.
August 23, 2011 at 2:43 pm
…or the phallusity.
August 22, 2011 at 7:14 pm
Waitwaitwait.
Are you THAT Sam Cornwell?
August 22, 2011 at 7:28 pm
That giraffe looks exactly like my penis, only bigger.
August 22, 2011 at 10:13 pm
pictures or it didn’t happen
August 23, 2011 at 4:47 am
wait…WHICH is bigger? The giraffe or KTinches?
August 23, 2011 at 9:09 am
Sam, seriously, as if men don’t get all squishy inside (and hard on the outside) when they see anything remotely mammary- or vulva-shaped—and we all know your gender has a wild imagination, so almost anything qualifies.
And who was it who built the Washington Monument in Washington, D.C.? (In case you’re not familiar with it, here are a few photos, because I can’t put a photo here and because I wanted to see a dozen or more phallic symbols on one page: http://tinyurl.com/3ptt9y3) Think THAT is useful to any woman? No, and it sure made the architect’s wife feel very sad and empty…well, I don’t need to go into details, do I?
p.s. I thought you might be kidding, so I gave you a thumbs-up, and part of that was because your videos are so awesome…but don’t make me regret it, young man!
p.p.s. Ever consider doing your videos wearing nothing but a towel? Just a thought.
August 22, 2011 at 5:41 pm
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August 22, 2011 at 5:41 pm
Conclusion: people love penises
August 22, 2011 at 5:42 pm
Penii.
August 22, 2011 at 6:11 pm
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August 22, 2011 at 6:18 pm
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August 22, 2011 at 6:22 pm
don’t care what you say, they’ll always be penii!
August 22, 2011 at 6:25 pm
BB wins because penii is funnier and because she just wins (she makes amazeballs for chistsakes!)
August 22, 2011 at 6:32 pm
dude it’s called humor, I think you’re on the wrong site. The blog for boring douchecanoe grammar policemen is right over here.
August 22, 2011 at 7:01 pm
epenibus unum
August 22, 2011 at 7:39 pm
As I recall, the majority of us not only liked peni, but someone coined the phrase “undulating peni” to describe the veritable sea of peni offered on Etsy. It is just fun to say – peni, peni, undulating peni! One of those times grammar must step aside
August 22, 2011 at 8:31 pm
As a freelance writer and editor who graduated magna cum laude with a BA in English (concentration in grammar and composition), I have to concur. Whenever penii are involved, grammar can go fuck itself.
August 22, 2011 at 8:45 pm
Hey, who the hell is giving me thumbs down? I’m agreeing with you assholes! LOL.
August 22, 2011 at 9:35 pm
Both the self-proclaimed grammarians have used “lol”; one as part of a screen name, and the other as the sort of verbal-tic interjection that makes my teeth grind together.
However, the latter did capitalize all three letters, indicating its origin as an acronym for “laugh(ing) out loud”, and is therefore the superior lolling grammarian. And agrees with us on “penii”.
Therefore, penii win. As it should be.
August 23, 2011 at 8:59 am
You know, I posted essentially the same thing a little while back, and I got mostly thumbs up– I think the difference is, I didn’t stoop to insults. Courtesy goes a long way.
August 23, 2011 at 9:00 am
And yet, I’m compelled to jump in on the side of “penes” and good grammar.
But only because snakes (and other squamates) have hemipenes and the fact that such a thing exists is RIDICULOUS.
And also because arguing about grammatically correct genitalia is the sort of past time I can really be proud of.
August 23, 2011 at 10:09 am
butts, I think this is supposed to be along the lines of “whimsicle”…
August 23, 2011 at 2:51 pm
It’s in the same vein as “breastesses.”
Or maybe a different vein. There are so many…
August 24, 2011 at 1:11 pm
I’m sorry but English is my second language, so please tell me: which one is it preferable to use in a formal conversation? Because it sure comes up a lot at parties…
Huuuum… COMES… UP…
August 23, 2011 at 4:49 am
I’ve not felt so loved in a long, long time. I just farted a big, lacy heart for all of you.
August 23, 2011 at 6:30 am
Would you take a picture of it on barnwood? Bet you could get oodles of $$ for it on Etsy.
August 22, 2011 at 5:43 pm
They had to name those earrings on purpose. Either that, or something was lost in translation.
August 22, 2011 at 7:09 pm
I’d go with the latter just because that’s the funnier explanation.
August 22, 2011 at 5:44 pm
i love the giraffe! i want it. my birthday is in a few months, guys!!
August 22, 2011 at 5:46 pm
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August 22, 2011 at 6:04 pm
Why would you apologize for that?
August 22, 2011 at 6:08 pm
It’s a package deal.
August 22, 2011 at 6:18 pm
I think there are some uniballed men who might disagree with that…
August 22, 2011 at 7:15 pm
I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE.
August 22, 2011 at 9:40 pm
What repository are YOU using? ‘Cause my package manager has never offered me that one. I’d remember.
August 22, 2011 at 10:41 pm
I do so love a nicely wrapped package.
August 22, 2011 at 6:10 pm
I’m not sorry that penises are not balls, they are much more fun as distinct anatomical bits.
August 22, 2011 at 6:20 pm
Speaking as someone wh has a penis AND balls, I am very happy that they are different; however, it is only when they come together that the real fun begins.
August 22, 2011 at 6:21 pm
*with
August 22, 2011 at 9:42 pm
Not true! Making them come separately can set the stage for fun, too.
August 22, 2011 at 6:59 pm
I would not say “totally different part of the anatomy”. In most cases, where there is one, there are the others. They are intimately related.
August 23, 2011 at 10:10 am
You’re forgiven.
August 22, 2011 at 5:46 pm
That’s a mighty happy frog. (How has it not sold yet? It’s AWESOME.)
August 22, 2011 at 10:31 pm
Yes, for an adult, but if I had crotchfruit, no way would that be in their room. For little boys it would be depressing never to live “up” to a frog; for girls, don’t think any boyfriend will satisfy them after growing up with Dick the Frog.
August 23, 2011 at 9:48 am
For boys, it might be inspirational: That frog seems to be focused on his rod and is VERY happy (his eyes, I mean his eyes!). So, the lesson would be: Appreciate what you were given and what you cannot change and don’t…oh, who am I kidding? It would traumatize a boy for life.
August 22, 2011 at 10:43 pm
Wonder why seller thought there needed to be “wood” in the title; seems pretty clear to me!
August 22, 2011 at 5:47 pm
That fairy can’t possibly be as innocent as the seller would like us to think she is, surrounded by penis like that.
August 22, 2011 at 5:48 pm
you know, that one on the right looks a little lopsided and worn to me.
August 22, 2011 at 5:54 pm
I like that these were hand sculpted… it makes me all twinkly.
The “innocent” fairy is clapping her hands somewhere.
August 22, 2011 at 7:54 pm
So The Fairy Circle is a strip club right? I’m getting images of Tinkerbell twirling around a pole with a g-string full of cash as the Lost Boys look on.
August 22, 2011 at 9:12 pm
I think we need to make this happen.
August 22, 2011 at 9:44 pm
For several seconds, I could not for the life of me figure out what Tinkerbell had to do with a pack of California vampires from the 80s.
I’m going to go wrap myself in black velvet and listen to Sisters of Mercy now, in penance.
August 23, 2011 at 8:23 am
That’s what I thought, C&R. Tink can invite them both to the ‘club; it’ll be a party.
August 22, 2011 at 5:47 pm
What a great way to get us warmed up for Mike Monday.
August 22, 2011 at 5:48 pm
How did they know I needed some fleshy balls for my ears?
August 22, 2011 at 6:11 pm
Or for that matter for your forehead.
August 22, 2011 at 6:41 pm
LOL!! Um. Yeah. But that was supposed to be a secret.
August 22, 2011 at 5:49 pm
The “Fleshy Pink Balls” title is a little gratuitous, dontcha think?
August 22, 2011 at 6:01 pm
Yeah, but in the craftard’s defense, Etsy rejected the tag “Peach nut sack hangers”
August 22, 2011 at 5:49 pm
There is always something in this post that makes me think of my fiances dad and last time they yoinked it before I could buy. THAT FROG IS MINE and I hope they accept my customization request for a pink rod and purple head!
Fiances dad collects frogs. He loves peens. WIN!
August 22, 2011 at 5:53 pm
MINE!!!!
I think my rent will be in the form of sporadic fuckery purchases.
August 22, 2011 at 6:34 pm
Completely off subject, I just noticed your avatar and screen name.
That is one badass chic. Nothing says lovin’ like Skags burning from Lilith’s phoenix skill.
August 22, 2011 at 6:43 pm
I had a mod that game +3 to it after I maxed it out. I loved killing one Spiderant or whatever and watching them all just drop. Favorite class and skill
August 22, 2011 at 6:43 pm
Gave. derp.
August 22, 2011 at 6:45 pm
Willowtree?
August 22, 2011 at 5:51 pm
I can’t believe that frog is still single.
August 22, 2011 at 5:52 pm
okay, the frog makers just didn’t see a penis in that picture? stick this in your kids bedroom or bathroom? Single Frog Pegnis?
I am dialing 911 NOW!
August 22, 2011 at 5:56 pm
Chris Hansen is already asking them to take a seat…
August 22, 2011 at 7:04 pm
It took a while for it to click that you’re meant to HANG things off its erect phallus…
If there’s an Etsy seller already specialising in penis-shaped wall hanger things, I’ll take fifty.
August 22, 2011 at 5:53 pm
All I can think about is making fondant foreskin for the cookies.
August 23, 2011 at 12:30 am
ANTI SEMITE
August 23, 2011 at 5:49 am
Oh believe me, I never discriminate against any penis. Each one is unique and special… like snowflakes…
August 22, 2011 at 5:55 pm
Oh. My. God. My sister-in-law has this ringtone that sounds like “burl burpa burpa burpa burl burl” and she smokes a lot of pot. My boyfriend and I always always always make fun of her ringtone. This stash jar is perfect for her!
August 22, 2011 at 5:55 pm
I posses a large sandalwood carved bottle opener from Bali. It has been lovingly carved and sanded into a penis. You have to grab the shaft to engage in opening. I give it to visitors who dare ask me for a Budweiser or similarly cheap American beer.
August 22, 2011 at 9:47 pm
That’s the first half-reasonable justification I’ve ever heard for the existence of cheap American beers.
August 22, 2011 at 10:40 pm
Hell, I might even drink a Bud if I could get my hands on a bottle opener like that.
August 23, 2011 at 7:48 am
The really sad part is that most “American Lagers” (i.e., the pale, yellow, fizzy stuff with no flavor) all have twist-off caps
August 22, 2011 at 5:56 pm
even tho the stash jar looks like a swollen knob, it’s beautiful and i’d love to have it!
August 22, 2011 at 6:20 pm
I actually really like it too, there’s some other less-phallic ones in their shop.
August 22, 2011 at 6:27 pm
Try keeping your hands off the stash jar, then it won’t get so swollen.
August 22, 2011 at 7:43 pm
They also have boobie jars! Together, they’d make a nice set. ; )
August 22, 2011 at 10:03 pm
Love it!
http://www.etsy.com/listing/52531387/boob-jar-set-a-nice-pair-of-stash-jars
August 22, 2011 at 5:57 pm
Can I convo someone to get the stash jar in an uncut style?
August 22, 2011 at 7:50 pm
But how will you get your stash into it if it is uncut?
August 22, 2011 at 5:58 pm
“She is so innocent and delicate. See if you can find her in the Fairy Ring”
Yes, the artist did write that about her ring of penises. Score another win for the Etsy Writers Workshop.
August 22, 2011 at 9:07 pm
I swear I read it as “you can find it in her Fairy Ring” which almost seems more appropriate…
August 22, 2011 at 6:02 pm
Did I just eat a handful of mushrooms?
August 22, 2011 at 6:04 pm
Say everybody have you seen my balls they’re big and fleshy and pink.
If you ever need a quick pick me up, just stick my balls in your ears.
(Sorry, Chef.)
August 22, 2011 at 6:10 pm
I love chef’s chocolate salty balls. They’re the best thing to put in your ears and or mouth…Ive said too much.
August 22, 2011 at 8:01 pm
Noone can resist my schweddy balls. –Alec Baldwin
I love that skit. Different reference but the first thing that popped into my head reading your comment.
August 22, 2011 at 8:07 pm
Going back to Southpark:
All the Baldwins are dead?!
August 22, 2011 at 8:18 pm
@ vinnifera- Me too! My mom has that episode of SNL on VHS and insists on showing it at Christmas. I die laughing every time.
August 22, 2011 at 8:35 pm
August 23, 2011 at 10:15 am
They’re just so moist and firm. I can’t wait to get my mouth around one of your balls… I love that skit.
November 27, 2011 at 9:17 am
I love how they glisten!
August 23, 2011 at 12:21 pm
Yeah. Good times. Lots of fun.
August 22, 2011 at 6:04 pm
Not that is some prime penii!
August 22, 2011 at 6:07 pm
August 22, 2011 at 6:14 pm
The “I dare you” expression on his face makes it a thousand percent better.
August 22, 2011 at 8:38 pm
The scary thing is that somewhere out there, a little kid is drinking out of one of those. [shudder]
August 23, 2011 at 5:25 am
We are very fortunate this toy does not talk.
August 23, 2011 at 10:30 am
NEW Buzz Lightyear motion-activated talking sippy cup with four different sayings!
“Don’t worry, Woody. In just a few hours you’ll be sitting around a campfire with Andy making delicious hot schmoes.”
“Woody! Thank goodness you’re all right.”
“You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity.”
“Good work, Woody.”
August 22, 2011 at 6:14 pm
Infinity is that way!
August 23, 2011 at 11:08 am
Hey, nobody else give that pic a thumbs up – the +69 is appropriate.
August 22, 2011 at 6:08 pm
Helen, darling, you misspelled “bone us”.
August 23, 2011 at 11:55 am
Ahem. Boneii.
August 22, 2011 at 6:09 pm
I don’t know about all you other fat, ugly, jealous losers, but I would MUCH rather see Towel Mike’s penis. Or any of the other hot guys who have allowed us to objectify them.
Just sayin.
August 22, 2011 at 6:13 pm
It is Monday, isn’t it?
August 22, 2011 at 8:03 pm
I’ve been without too long. Straight guys, do your best objectification moves.
August 23, 2011 at 7:11 am
Glad to lend a hand.
August 22, 2011 at 6:11 pm
Feeling the uncontrollable urge to buy that mushroom cookie cutter so I can make cream-filled cookies
August 22, 2011 at 9:09 pm
Yes!!
August 22, 2011 at 6:17 pm
Okay, so I may have sort of a collection of phallic items, but even if I didn’t, I would want that stash jar. It is really beautiful.
August 22, 2011 at 6:26 pm
The descriptions might have been written by snickering 12-year-olds: “hand sculpted,” “animal mount.” Wait, that’s just me snickering.
August 22, 2011 at 6:33 pm
Most plant and fungus genitalia look like animal genitalia.
August 22, 2011 at 6:50 pm
Thank you for reminding me. I have to shop Etsy for a rocket cookie cutter, so I can make penis cookies like the Creepy Dad on Love Bites.
August 23, 2011 at 6:08 am
November 27, 2011 at 9:22 am
lol, reminds me of the movie “Death to Smoochy”. Is that made out of Dil-Dough?
August 22, 2011 at 7:13 pm
Semi-related story time:
I went to Ireland and walked around a “real faery ring” up near co. Clare. There were no phallic mushrooms, just some random grooved area of trees.
In one of the pictures you could see a flash of bright green between the trees that was the hoodie of my tour guide. Mum thought it was a fairy and it took months to convince her otherwise.
Long story short, I should be selling said photo on Etsy with some bullshit story about faeries, but I don’t have enough booze to make me do it.
August 23, 2011 at 9:55 am
Butts McFeckery, I have two words for you:
DRINK MORE
You’ve GOT to make it (the photo…and the drinking) happen!
August 22, 2011 at 7:32 pm
Just linger your eyes over the lower part of the photo.
August 22, 2011 at 7:44 pm
Wasnt this dude in Soul Calibre at some point?
August 22, 2011 at 7:46 pm
why oh why!
August 22, 2011 at 9:47 pm
…What the actual fuck?….
August 23, 2011 at 9:58 am
It looks as if a fungus is attacking his head *scroll* and his shirt is unbuttoned *scroll, scroll* and holy mother of all that is human, what the hell!?!?!
August 23, 2011 at 12:22 pm
FINALLY codpieces are coming back into fashion!
August 22, 2011 at 7:40 pm
“Fleshy pink balls” snicker snort – I hope the seller wrote it that way on purpose, otherwise they’re dumber than a sack of hair. I really like the stash jar – I’m a sucker for redwood burl (I still have the table I bought in Big Sur in 1973).
And what the holy flying fuck is that “fashion” photo all about?! “I was wanking in the bushes, minding my own business when someone put a turquoise curly straw up my sleeve and pointed me down a runway”? Yikes!
August 22, 2011 at 9:54 pm
That version of the story fails to explain how our hero managed to get splinched with a lichen-covered log, Quetzlcoatl,and the Tin Woodman.
August 22, 2011 at 8:04 pm
I’d love to have those pink balls earrings, but only if they are MADE IN THE USA BY FAMILY CRAFTSPERSONS!
August 22, 2011 at 8:07 pm
I don’t know which end of the cookie I would put in my mouth first.
August 22, 2011 at 9:55 pm
The underside is often a good place to start.
August 23, 2011 at 7:53 am
you need to frost them…and then lick that off first
August 22, 2011 at 8:08 pm
I want that redwood jar. Why do I have to be so broke?!?
August 22, 2011 at 9:14 pm
This post is the perfect birthday present. YAY!
August 23, 2011 at 7:53 am
Happy Birthday!
August 23, 2011 at 12:39 am
The second listing is completely pornographic. The little things even have veins! “She is so innocent and delicate”. Yes, I’m sure she’ll stay that way in happy fairy penis land.
August 23, 2011 at 9:59 am
Especially after they enter her “fairy ring.”
August 23, 2011 at 5:20 am
After all this excitment maybe we should clean our screens.
August 23, 2011 at 10:00 am
That NEVER gets old!
August 23, 2011 at 5:36 am
I want the cock jar.
August 23, 2011 at 6:24 am
That giraffe is mine now. I’m going to hang it in my entryway.
August 23, 2011 at 7:56 am
Using relevancy on Etsy- does that mean I type in looks like a penis, resembles a penis, has penis in the title or tags, rhymes with penis, multiples penises, or shaped like a penis? I’m confused!
August 23, 2011 at 12:21 pm
Try penii
August 23, 2011 at 2:40 pm
“We didn’t find anything for penii. Try a popular search query like mermaid, hair feathers, owl, wedding, steampunk, feather hair extensions, halloween, feather extensions, or buttons instead.”
August 23, 2011 at 2:43 pm
Is it just me, or does a steampunk mermaid wedding sound REALLY, REALLY AWESOME right now?
August 23, 2011 at 1:15 pm
Yay cocks!
I want some fleshy pink balls.
August 23, 2011 at 1:49 pm
I am naming my Fantasy Football team this year “Fleshy Pink Balls” and I am using that photo as my team logo.
There is no way that I can fail to win the league this year now.
August 23, 2011 at 3:58 pm
Goatse keeps his Stash in his Stash Jar. He keeps his Stash Jar in his Goatse.
August 23, 2011 at 10:42 pm
Someone is selling a six-pack of mini dildos? I guess you should always buy in bulk.
August 23, 2011 at 10:56 pm
I have that “mushroom” cookie cutter. It came in a pack of cutters with a flower, a star of david, and a four pointed star. It was, if I am recalling correctly, in a blisterpack on a card labeled “Christmas Cookie Cutters”.
I’d have kept the package intact (pun intended and you are powerless to stop it) for the sheer humor value, but I bought it for the star of david cutter because I thought it would be amusing to bring star of david gingerbread cookies to my first Christmas with my Ex-Hubby’s very catholic family as a thank you for the 6 months of awkward and borderline offensive questions I’d been welcomed to the family with about being jewish.
So the package had to be opened.
August 24, 2011 at 9:38 am
Finally, a way to keep my homophopic male co-workers from eating all of my cookies!
The sign I posted on my bathroom door at the office obviously didn’t work:
No Pussy
No Entry
So I’m almost positive dick shaped cookies will do the trick.
August 27, 2011 at 6:02 pm
Could I add this as ‘looks like penis’?
I actually think it’s rather wonderfully painted and I like her work.
But this particular piece does seem a squit penissy.
http://www.etsy.com/listing/39781782/sticks-and-stones-original-oil-painting
September 10, 2011 at 10:21 pm
Just wondering what kind of cookies go in the Big Red?
Probably need something creme filled, like an oreo LOL
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