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Spells Like Teen Spirit

This post first appeared on Regretsy on September 13, 2010

I don’t think we’ll be needing a graduation cake.

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88 comments on Spells Like Teen Spirit

  1. MarchHare
    August 20, 2011 at 1:34 pm

    Soulful Sounds make me come too.

    Thumb up Thumb down +18

  2. thebaconfairy
    August 20, 2011 at 1:35 pm

    who took the spell check off of the cake?

    Thumb up Thumb down +26

    • FlouncestheDrivingCat
      August 20, 2011 at 2:18 pm

      She ignored the squiggly red line and kept piping.

      Thumb up Thumb down +46

      • blackgermanshepherd
        August 20, 2011 at 2:47 pm

        Thumb up Thumb down +91

        • blackgermanshepherd
          August 21, 2011 at 5:21 am

          Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

          Thumb up Thumb down -26

      • kimoutre
        August 20, 2011 at 4:28 pm

        She didn’t even bother piping. This shit is airbrushed over a poorly made stencil.

        Thumb up Thumb down +4

  3. somebidder
    August 20, 2011 at 1:35 pm

    Cake Wrecks alert!

    Thumb up Thumb down +27

  4. Anninyn
    August 20, 2011 at 1:36 pm

    That’s not an error.
    ‘Comeing’ is an actual thing. It’s a traditional festival in Norfolk UK, where we ceremonially drive out all incomers and people of other genetic backgrounds to us with sticks.

    It’s a fun day, you can bring the kids, hand them a stick, they might even get to bruise someone from Suffolk.

    True story.

    What it has to do with Homes and Bands I don’t know, except that when the ceremony is complete we tear down the Incomers houses and play music.

    Thumb up Thumb down +51

    • celery
      August 20, 2011 at 1:40 pm

      Coming from Lincolnshire/Norfolk border I can totally relate to this *nods*

      Thumb up Thumb down +9

      • Anninyn
        August 20, 2011 at 1:43 pm

        Oy be a narfuk marthur saw wutsh whut yow say, alreyt?

        Onnly Oy’,m allowd t’dess thess cunty.

        (I am a young woman from Norfolk, so watch what you say, alright? Only I’m allowed to diss this county)

        Thumb up Thumb down +12

        • celery
          August 20, 2011 at 1:51 pm

          I’ve been on the receiving end of the sticks…. apparently I was too yellow belly and not enough dumpling

          Thumb up Thumb down +8

        • Anninyn
          August 20, 2011 at 1:53 pm

          Damn right.

          It could be worse. At least you aren’t from…

          Suffolk.

          Or worse

          LONDON.

          Thumb up Thumb down +10

        • DarkSock
          August 20, 2011 at 4:04 pm

          “I’ve been on the receiving end of the sticks…. apparently I was too yellow belly and not enough dumpling…
          .
          ^I nominate this for best out-of-context comment of the week.

          Thumb up Thumb down +26

        • OldPhatMC
          August 20, 2011 at 4:48 pm

          Is this language available from Rosetta Stone?

          Thumb up Thumb down +29

    • MarchHare
      August 20, 2011 at 1:42 pm

      …and there’s CAKE!

      Thumb up Thumb down +3

      • Anninyn
        August 20, 2011 at 1:44 pm

        NORFOLK cake, Made with NORFOLK ingredients. For NORFOLK people.

        No furreners.

        Thumb up Thumb down +17

        • Chronic Glitter Lung
          August 20, 2011 at 2:05 pm

          “Real Roman bread…for Real Romans!!”

          Thumb up Thumb down +3

        • iamerror
          August 20, 2011 at 2:20 pm

          Can Vin Diesel have a slice?

          Thumb up Thumb down +2

        • monkey33
          August 20, 2011 at 2:44 pm

          Not cake related, but the Norfolk reference reminded me of something.
          My mother was a cheerleader in the 1940s (no, not the 1940s with the hippies) for a high school in Virginia and when they would play Norfolk in football they would cheer:

          “We don’t drink, we don’t smoke, Nor-folk!”

          Pretty risque for the times and it really irritated the Norfolk crowd by reminding them that A) their city name essentially has the sound of the word fuck in it and B) that they all put out, unlike the chaste girls of my mom’s town.
          (PS – it would have been truly inspired in the founders of neighboring Virginia Beach thought to name their city “Neithersuck”

          Thumb up Thumb down +30

        • iamerror
          August 20, 2011 at 2:47 pm

          I knew a girl from Norfolk, she moved to Neithersuck a little while after.

          Thumb up Thumb down +14

        • iamerror
          August 20, 2011 at 2:55 pm

          Last I heard she was living in Nunadabove with her pet guinnea pig, Celebeast.

          Thumb up Thumb down +12

        • cratz
          August 20, 2011 at 3:30 pm

          This is meant to reply to monkey33′s post:
          I thought the cheer was “We don’t smoke, we don’t chew, Norfolk, Norfolk, norfuck U!”

          Thumb up Thumb down +10

        • MarchHare
          August 20, 2011 at 3:40 pm

          No Norfolk Punch?

          Thumb up Thumb down +1

  5. AholicRambler
    August 20, 2011 at 1:38 pm

    Looks like I just found my Birthday cake, I just love how universal it is. I mean hell I could freeze it and use it for any occasion, Arbor Day, Kwanza, Congratulations You’re Knocked Up By a Mystery Man, Congrats On Your New Job, You’ve Got the Clap, etc.

    Thumb up Thumb down +26

  6. Cecilia
    August 20, 2011 at 1:38 pm

    Spell check can’t save you from looking stupid all the time.

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

    • armyofjelly
      August 20, 2011 at 2:31 pm

      Someone needs to invent StupidCheck.

      Thumb up Thumb down +15

      • monkey33
        August 20, 2011 at 2:39 pm

        Maybe it wasn’t a spelling error and actually a Freudian slip and that really makes me nervous about the frosting recipe.
        Natural Harvest, anyone?

        Thumb up Thumb down +10

      • somebidder
        August 20, 2011 at 3:16 pm

        yeah but then Etsy would go out of business

        Thumb up Thumb down +6

      • MarchHare
        August 20, 2011 at 3:42 pm

        I can see red squigley lines appearing under people’s heads now

        Thumb up Thumb down +10

        • kimoutre
          August 20, 2011 at 7:14 pm

          I’m thinking Mark Harmon-style smacks to the back of the head. God, I know so many people who need those.

          Thumb up Thumb down +6

  7. finzimom
    August 20, 2011 at 1:41 pm

    Spelling aside, this seems like such a weirdly specific thing to be selling on Etsy. Like, did she make one too many by accident and now it’s just sitting around and she thought, “what the hell, maybe I can unload this on someone who needs to celebrate a random university band’s homecoming two years ago?” Hell, it IS cake, and I can hardly turn that down…

    Thumb up Thumb down +36

    • FlouncestheDrivingCat
      August 20, 2011 at 2:20 pm

      Especially since it is Homecoming ’09. I’m surprised it wasn’t moldy by September 2010.

      Thumb up Thumb down +8

    • kimoutre
      August 20, 2011 at 4:34 pm

      It IS cake, but it’s a quarter sheet decorated poorly (even if it weren’t misspelled) for $80. You’ve GOT to be kidding me! That shit’s under $30 at the grocery store, and you’ve got a better chance of it actually having been made in the same year that you buy it.

      Thumb up Thumb down +10

      • OldPhatMC
        August 20, 2011 at 5:30 pm

        Costco. Less than $20. To expire for. Decorated by someone who has a clue what’s going on. Most important, you can return it in case of derp.

        Thumb up Thumb down +10

  8. Navarre
    August 20, 2011 at 1:42 pm

    60 hungry band kids? Sorry, I don’t believe it. Maybe 10.

    Thumb up Thumb down +25

    • iamerror
      August 20, 2011 at 1:43 pm

      Small slices. Or Small band kids…

      Thumb up Thumb down +7

      • Postmenopaws ™
        August 20, 2011 at 6:37 pm

        It’s for a university. How small could they be?

        Thumb up Thumb down +3

        • iamerror
          August 20, 2011 at 6:52 pm

          If its a small university….

          Thumb up Thumb down +6

    • Fractaled
      August 20, 2011 at 1:53 pm

      oh, it’ll feed ‘em. It doesn’t say anything about satisfying them.

      Thumb up Thumb down +15

    • butts lol
      August 20, 2011 at 2:15 pm

      Milton, just pass.

      Thumb up Thumb down +7

    • HiddenLowRating
      August 20, 2011 at 3:33 pm

      12″ x 18″ = 216 sq.in. / 60= 3.6 sq.in. or 1.897″ x 1.897″

      I’d be one disappointed band kid.

      This one time, at homecoming…

      Thumb up Thumb down +13

      • kimoutre
        August 20, 2011 at 4:36 pm

        I got a tiny bite of shitty, overpriced, misspelled cake. Ah, memories!

        Thumb up Thumb down +10

  9. Gem
    August 20, 2011 at 1:42 pm

    So after their home comeing, when are they leaveing?

    Thumb up Thumb down +24

  10. Daisy
    August 20, 2011 at 1:44 pm

    I’m so alarmed at the level of education our high schoolers have really received. This idea that it’s harmful to hold kids back who are’t performing at their grade levels to spare their self-esteem so pass them anyway is what’s harmful. We’re graduating people from high school who can do math at a 3rd grade level and read at maybe a 4th grade level. If this doesn’t stop, America is even more fucked than we’ve been.

    American schools, take a lesson from the schools in Finland, where education doesn’t start until 7 and they outscore us within a few years. Starting formal education at 2 or 3 years old and burning kids out by 5 isn’t helping. It’s hurting.

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

    • Daisy
      August 20, 2011 at 1:46 pm

      Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

      Thumb up Thumb down -13

      • Anninyn
        August 20, 2011 at 1:50 pm

        It’s a very important subject, but Regretsy isn’t really the place. We aren’t the people who can change it. Your point of view is intelligent and well reasoned and probably belongs somewhere it will be aprreciated.

        Also, as a Brit, I give very few fucks over failing American school standards. I care more about the high teen birth rate in the UK…

        Thumb up Thumb down +25

        • Chronic Glitter Lung
          August 20, 2011 at 2:08 pm

          Hey, ours is a LOT higher than yours!!

          Also, our schools are lousy!!

          And we have a high rate of obesity!!

          AMERICAN WINS AT FAILING!! USA!! USA!!

          Thumb up Thumb down +50

        • OldPhatMC
          August 20, 2011 at 5:33 pm

          A high teen birth rate? In the US our children are born as newborns. Giving birth to teens must make breastfeeding hellish.

          Thumb up Thumb down +37

      • Luna0124
        August 20, 2011 at 1:58 pm

        Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

        Thumb up Thumb down -16

        • Daisy
          August 20, 2011 at 3:00 pm

          When watching a toddler, I rely at least partially on spell-check. “Help” is a correctly spelled word, just the wrong one in this case.

          Thumb up Thumb down +2

        • unseeliepixie
          August 21, 2011 at 10:58 am

          I keep hoping for a “grammar check” for just this thing. Unfortunately, that would also decrease the derp available for Regretsy.

          Thumb up Thumb down +3

        • Luna0124
          August 21, 2011 at 4:27 pm

          Meh, lame excuse. I have a kid, she was a toddler once. I was just noting the irony.

          Thumb up Thumb down 0

      • Maman Brigitte
        August 20, 2011 at 3:25 pm

        I think you have a good point about U.S. education, but are jumping to the conclusion that the marching band kids decorated the cake. Here’s another scenario:

        It was a band parent or grandparent didn’t have a high school diploma. When their son/daughter (the first in their family to attend college) saw the cake, he/she was mortified, threw it in the freezer, ran to Carvel, and bought 6 Cookie Pusses instead.

        This is based on a true story.

        Thumb up Thumb down +16

    • kaseysospacey
      August 20, 2011 at 3:01 pm

      Honestly, early childhood education has been proven to increase the odds that a child will perform at or above grade level later on in school and complete high school and move on to college.
      I know that I only learned this because I went to college and earned a psychology degree in America, which I am sure is incomparable to the mighty schools of Finland, but I like that kids are given a chance to learn when otherwise they would be sitting in front of their televisions all day. There are stupid people everywhere; its not just the US. Starting school at 7 isn’t better than starting at 5, or 4. It depends on how that time would be spent otherwise.

      Thumb up Thumb down +12

      • psychethos
        August 20, 2011 at 5:26 pm

        Well, that isn’t exactly true. Many studies find that starting school at a later age is in fact predicative of greater success in later education.

        This one, for instance: http://www.springerlink.com/content/k248328293683832/
        Which found “robust and significant positive effects on educational outcomes for pupils who enter school at 7 instead of 6 years of age”.

        And yes, schools in Finland perform much better than schools in the US. As someone who will graduate with a degree in psychology next year, I think it’s pretty foolish not to look into why that is.

        Thumb up Thumb down +3

        • SpyGlassez
          August 20, 2011 at 9:31 pm

          I’ve also read that in specific, boys do better if they enter school later (at 7) instead of younger since they do mature faster. That’s not a slam on guys; it was something I heard when I was taking psycholoy.

          Thumb up Thumb down +2

    • Mapleleaves
      August 20, 2011 at 6:19 pm

      Cheyney is a University.

      Thumb up Thumb down +3

    • Postmenopaws ™
      August 20, 2011 at 6:41 pm

      Oh puh-LEASE. Those Fins only outscore us Merkins because they all go to Finnishing school.

      Thumb up Thumb down +24

  11. roseuhhh
    August 20, 2011 at 1:51 pm

    am I the only one alarmed that they’re selling a cake from 2009?

    Thumb up Thumb down +25

    • Luna0124
      August 20, 2011 at 2:00 pm

      Maybe it freezes well? Is that a possible selling feature?

      Thumb up Thumb down +3

  12. jewel_alchemy
    August 20, 2011 at 1:53 pm

    This is the sort of item that really confuses me. I haven’t bought a sheet cake since, well, never, but is $86.00 plus whatever the shipping a good deal for a cake of this type. Why would I buy this online? Wouldn’t I get it from a cheapo local grocery store?

    Or are you paying for the charming spelling errors?

    Thumb up Thumb down +18

    • Luna0124
      August 20, 2011 at 2:03 pm

      I can get a sheet cake from my local grocery store bakery for $45. It will feed 60 people and have proper spelling.

      Thumb up Thumb down +8

      • scrabblewench
        August 20, 2011 at 4:12 pm

        You could even have them write this message on it, in case you really did want to feed it to the Soulful Sounds Band, or just to confuse the shit out of the birthday party or wedding guests you’re feeding it to.

        Thumb up Thumb down +11

  13. Everglade
    August 20, 2011 at 2:03 pm

    I am here to testify that the local grocery store can misspell with the best of them! My office bought a sheet cake for the birth of a baby by one of our employees and when it arrived it said Congratulations! It’s a Gril.

    …….so we threw on some hot dogs and made lemonade.

    Thumb up Thumb down +32

    • armyofjelly
      August 20, 2011 at 2:33 pm

      That’s a labor we don’t need to see.

      Thumb up Thumb down +6

      • armyofjelly
        August 20, 2011 at 2:34 pm

        But perhaps we can enjoy some Grild placenta?

        Thumb up Thumb down +11

    • Pinky
      August 21, 2011 at 11:04 am

      There’s a classic Cakewrecks cake that simply says “It a Gril”. You can buy the t-shirt.

      Thumb up Thumb down 0

    • Desert Blooms
      August 21, 2011 at 1:14 pm

      Was the family’s name Weber?

      Thumb up Thumb down +1

  14. butts lol
    August 20, 2011 at 2:14 pm

    And at graduation we move the eyepatch from the right eye to the OH DEAR GOD WHAT IS THAT I DON’T EVEN

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  15. MustacheFart
    August 20, 2011 at 3:38 pm

    This reminds me of the time that my sister won a middle school spelling bee, and her homeroom made a big banner for her reading “Congradulations!!”

    Thumb up Thumb down +18

  16. DarkSock
    August 20, 2011 at 4:05 pm

    The Cake is a Lie.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  17. NanaB
    August 20, 2011 at 4:30 pm

    What I am finding disappointing is that this cake is gone and they are not offering the 2010 version.

    Some of us are on a fixed income and like our bargains.

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  18. thecreightonberyl
    August 20, 2011 at 4:43 pm

    Extra letters mean extra frosting!

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

    • kimoutre
      August 20, 2011 at 7:17 pm

      Not when they’re airbrushed on. Then they just mean more food coloring.

      Thumb up Thumb down +4

    • Pinky
      August 21, 2011 at 11:05 am

      “What? It’s not Maggaggie’s birthday?”

      Thumb up Thumb down +1

  19. katfud
    August 20, 2011 at 9:18 pm

    As soon as you impose a standard you introduce gaming that standard. Is it easier to meet the standard, or game the standard? Obviously university students have learned that their teachers are just as lazy as they are.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  20. montanabama
    August 21, 2011 at 9:46 am

    Look, everewon knows sertin werds hav alturnet spelings…

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  21. Pinky
    August 21, 2011 at 11:08 am

    Someone got one of those Wilton Cake-Decorating Press Sets in Italic for their birthday. (Or possibly Home Comeing)

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  22. RaggedyMe
    August 21, 2011 at 10:14 pm

    If I weren’t such a complete and utter computer DERP you’d see a pic of my daughter’s school “graduation.”

    It said “Congratulation Preschool Graduates” in sloppy, crooked, off-center piping.

    Plus, the thing tasted like crap. Black icing- blech!

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

    • RaggedyMe
      August 21, 2011 at 10:16 pm

      It was a cake, that is. I’m on so many meds right now I can’t think straight.

      Double ear infection, sinus infection and strep. I love my kids…..even if they are walking germ factories.

      Thumb up Thumb down 0

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