“first” and now “faggotry”? You’re a terrible person. Seriously, if you and that Bachman dude were both on fire and I only had enough piss for one of you, I’d go trawl chartrooms for someone into golden showers instead.
Strike one
Strike two
Strike three Stephanie should have used her shout-outs
The Regretsy cab now enters FLOUNCE mode
Dont let the barnwood hit you on your way out
Stephanie A, I suggest you take your hands off the keyboard and back away…no good can come of you being in this thread. Maybe tomorrow, we’ll forget, but for now, you’ve tarnished yourself with this ‘first!’ bollocks.
I heard it in high school. But that was a short story about an Eskimo man burning faggots to keep from freezing to death. This is a bad story to assign to high schoolers without explaining the slang.
Adding on to the comment about the Eskimo story, allow me to add (as a onetime middle school English teacher) that I recommend a little vocabulary work before assigning the part of the story where the little Stone-Age girl ties her boots on with thongs.
Gee, I lug home faggots from the woods all the time.
Multi-tasking while walking the dog, collecting kindling for winter.
Trying not to look like the Log Lady from Northern Exposure.
And smirking proudly at my faggots.
Haha I know! The first thing was pretty sad but these people clearly don’t spend that much time on the internet if a word like like “faggot” gets them so riled up.
I think they just wanted an excuse to bitch at someone.
The internet is a grand bastion of equal opportunity haterade. It doesn’t need you to understand it, it needs you to pour a little out for your homegirl up there.
I just missed the batsignal again. The great picture in the sky of the fat angry lesbian womb-myn pile-on flashing through the clouds. Maybe a neon sign pointing at a slightly dopey-but-nothing-fascist post. THIS IS THE ONE! SEE HOW FAR IT CAN BE PUSHED!
Then butthurt is achieved and the night’s entertainment moves on.
So, translation “I bought some stuff from a touristy souvenir shop and my family didn’t like it, so I’m passing the loss of money on to you*!” *at 300x the original cost
I made those when I was a kid, you buy this little package of glass chunkties and a metal outline. You put some aluminium foil on a tray, pour the glass chunkies in the right part of the outline, and bake in your oven. Probably part of why I will have lung cancer some day.
See, someone somewhere made this by hand and with her limited comprehension skills, she thinks it counts. Besides, she took the picture and wrote up the listing all by herself. Cut her some slack!
surely (s)he meant when (s)he FIRST saw them come out of her oven. Michaels’craft’s are difficult and take the dedication of a 6-year-old, thus the price tag.
It’s stained glass, not terribly well done, but the work IS difficult and time-consuming. No oven (this isn’t Shrinky Dinks, after all) – you spend hours cutting and grinding and copper foiling or leading, and soldering. A little one like this ain’t worth more than about $15 any way you slice it, though.
She bought one for one family of one member each and each of that one is the one for whom she bought one. Was she need bought one for member one of one family? Well, that is decided for by yourself. But she felt need bought by her own motivations which were then in the making.
So she bought five- one being for each of the ones that received this gift (there were five ones).
Now- transfer the amount of the numbers just specified and all the ones will also be sent to you. Also you’ll get your cat back.
…then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out.
I am taking the other half of my trig class this semester which includes analytic geometry. The last time I had geometry, I was a sophomore in high school. I’m 29. Shit’s about to get real.
When I was in middle school, my teacher told us that you can always remember that an acute angle is less than 90 degrees by thinking that a small girl is acute girl….
I then asked what does that make his fat ugly ass.
Fucking middle school math teachers… making girls hate math AND their bodies. You were a very brave middle schooler for calling him out mrsckugs. Thanks.
He was a dick. On the last day of school we were allowed to briing in water guns. He took mine away for no reason. I got him back though. Last period he didn’t have a class and left early, so I took my gun back and peed on his gradebook.
Are those tiny blue boobies on the front of the angle? Should angles have their boobies emphasized in that manner? Now I’m slightly titillated, which makes me terribly confused.
“they are all over the spread the world…to protect their homes – so far it works.
That’s specious reasoning. What if I were to tell you that this rock keeps away tigers? It doesn’t work. It’s just a stupid rock. But you don’t see any tigers around, do you?
When I was little, my dad used to tell me that a certain tree in the yard kept the elephants away. At the time, how could I argue with the logic: “But you don’t see any elephants around, do you?”
The same logic can be used to explain the ‘No Mello Roos’ signs in front of California houses for sale. You don’t see any kangaroos lounging peacefully on the front lawns, do you?
When I see this, I always want to believe that he’s spotted the misspelled sign, and is trying to get the other guy to take it down, but his eyes are actually directed somewhere else.
What’s all this talk about ‘Death to Juice’?
Juice is an important part of this nutritious breakfast and Juice has vitamin C which is an essential vitamin…
Cowboy Leg Beautiful Pole
August 19, 2011 at 12:24 pm
There may be Chinese living in Port Elisabeth, but more likely they are translating from Afrikaans, Zulu, Xhosa, Sotho, or any of several other native languages. Maybe we should cut them some slack…..
“my first thougth was I need to buy for each family one member one”
I don’t think I want you to buy a member for each family. First of all, I’m sure they have their own members, and second of all, I think they prefer their members to your members… if you have a member, that is.
Also, get a friend with better English to help you write. Unless you’re nine… in which case, get your parents to spank you and get yo’ ass back in school.
Did you hear about this guy that is suing his doctor? The doc was only supposed to perform a circumcision, but cut off he penis. The doctor contends he saw cancer when he went to do the surgery and the penis had to go.
ARE YOU CRAZY! Don’t you remember? That which holds the image of an angel becomes an angel! You’ve doomed us all!
…And just like that, I unzipped my pants and whipped out monster sized Dr. Who nerd…
Can we agree that the re-use of the weeping angels last season was TOTALLY LAME, and almost ruined the weeping angels? Seriously, leave well enough alone. I’m starting to hate Matt Smith, even though I know that it isn’t his fault the writers keep rehashing the monsters from David Tennant’s tenure
I just knew that someone would come up with something about “Weeping Angles.” As someone who doesn’t know many real life Doctor fans, I feel so comforted seeing this here.
“Act like you can see them Amy! I know, they’re supposed to turn into stone if they are being seen, so if you can’t see them they won’t be stone, but just fake it and pretend the audience is full of dumbasses. Look, a second Eleven!”
The angels were the second scariest thing in my world after the…thing in Midnight, until in the last season we actually saw them move. And then they were really lame. It took all the scary out for some reason…
Although I’m really with Kitriana on this one, DW does nothing but re-use monsters. That’s one of the main features of the show. We know the big bads, and we kind of love them.
I would just like to say that I still have my fan club badge from 1980-something and I’d still wear my club t-shirt if it fit. I am much taller now than when I was five.
My first thought is that I’d like to throw up. My second thought is that there are definitely angles here. It’s the head, and the way it’s slowly escaping the neck.
From now on, I’m going to write my item descriptions in English (because I speak it, motherfucker) and then use Babelfish to translate it to… I dunno… Dutch. Then use Google Translate to translate it back to English.
That is how I will write my item descriptions from now on.
Here’s what happened when I did just that with the comment above-
“From now on, I’m my item descriptions in English (because I, motherfucker) will write and speak it using Babelfish to translate it … I dunno … Dutch. Then use Google to translate it back to the English translation. I will my item descriptions from now on writing.”
After dragging through Google Translate in various languages, it produced:
“I can now (because you have it, mother), English to write your own description of the project with the Babel Fish translator, then … I do not know … Netherlands. Then, use the text back into English by Google.”
Almost makes sense! As much as the angle seller, anyway.
I save you the trouble on this post! (it came out surprisingly coherent):
From now on, I point my descriptions in English (because I, motherfucker) then write and speak using Babelfish to translate it … I dunno … Dutch. Then use Google to translate it back to the English translation. I will my item descriptions from now on writing.
Don’t panic! As long as you’ve got a towel, you’re safe.
Maybe the “artist” meant that is an angel made of angles. Or perhaps it’s just a crappy piece of headlight after all.
“I mention his talk about angles because it suggests something Wilcox had told
me of his awful dreams. He said that the geometry of the dream-place he saw was
abnormal, non-Euclidean, and loathsomely redolent of spheres and dimensions apart from
ours.”
And dead Cthulhu lies dreaming of 380 bucks angles.
August 18, 2011 at 3:36 pm
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August 18, 2011 at 3:37 pm
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August 18, 2011 at 3:41 pm
Go with that feeling.
August 18, 2011 at 7:10 pm
I am here to tell you… thank you. I only had to scroll down an inch and a half for my first, giant laugh… Oh shit… Did I use the word “first?”
I am so fucked now.
August 18, 2011 at 10:55 pm
Whimsicle fuckery has done its job
August 18, 2011 at 3:38 pm
August 18, 2011 at 3:38 pm
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August 18, 2011 at 3:54 pm
It absolutely doesn’t help to use words like “faggotry.”
August 18, 2011 at 4:00 pm
“first” and now “faggotry”? You’re a terrible person. Seriously, if you and that Bachman dude were both on fire and I only had enough piss for one of you, I’d go trawl chartrooms for someone into golden showers instead.
August 18, 2011 at 6:35 pm
Seriously? You’re going to describe your idiocy using a horribly offensive word for homosexuals?
Fuck you. Go away.
August 18, 2011 at 7:13 pm
I want to go make up a bunch more accounts just to give Stephanie more thumbs down, and to give BigGayAl more thumbs up.
August 18, 2011 at 8:21 pm
The least you could do is apologize for being so freakin’ offensive. At least it might give you a glimmer of hope for redemption. Maybe.
August 18, 2011 at 10:00 pm
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August 18, 2011 at 10:59 pm
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August 19, 2011 at 2:12 am
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August 19, 2011 at 8:22 am
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August 18, 2011 at 3:39 pm
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August 18, 2011 at 3:41 pm
In a word: no.
August 18, 2011 at 3:43 pm
Nah, Vin Diesel’s gone through lame and back into cool again.
August 18, 2011 at 3:44 pm
Vin Diesel went through a lame time?
August 18, 2011 at 3:47 pm
Only among the heathens.
But us true believers, we kept the faith. Secret midnight screenings of Pitch Black and Chronicles of Riddick. We even played D+D, because he does.
And now, our vigilance has been rewarded. The world is accepting him again. The true faith SHALL return!
August 18, 2011 at 3:49 pm
Congratulations!
WINNING:
At most negative comment ratings ever.
August 18, 2011 at 3:49 pm
All Hail Diesel!
August 18, 2011 at 3:51 pm
Batting a thousand today, aren’t you?
August 18, 2011 at 4:03 pm
His wife has a fuggin’ SPECTRAL TIGER, y’all!!
August 18, 2011 at 4:09 pm
Hmm. I can see this leading to some pretty serious butthurt followed by some epic flouncing.
August 18, 2011 at 5:16 pm
Did you know the “Chuck Norris” facts were actually about Vin Diesel?
August 18, 2011 at 5:43 pm
Vin Diesel is so NOT “Back o da bus!”
August 18, 2011 at 6:30 pm
@Anninyn
I even love the Pacifier.
(Granted that’s mostly because there’s an evil duck and Vin Diesel is cool even though the movie is corny.)
August 18, 2011 at 8:26 pm
No. Actually, I’d say you have every fucking lame person that exists on the planet, beat by a mile!
August 18, 2011 at 9:58 pm
However, “A Man Apart” had the most awkward kiss I’ve ever seen on film.
August 18, 2011 at 11:06 pm
Strike one
Strike two
Strike three Stephanie should have used her shout-outs
The Regretsy cab now enters FLOUNCE mode
Dont let the barnwood hit you on your way out
August 18, 2011 at 3:44 pm
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August 18, 2011 at 4:02 pm
Stephanie A, I suggest you take your hands off the keyboard and back away…no good can come of you being in this thread. Maybe tomorrow, we’ll forget, but for now, you’ve tarnished yourself with this ‘first!’ bollocks.
August 18, 2011 at 4:19 pm
“I live my life a quarter inch at a time.”
August 18, 2011 at 4:31 pm
Either stop making this hole deeper or flounce and give us something we can really laugh at.
*fingers crossed* Please flounce, please flounce, please flounce.
August 18, 2011 at 4:46 pm
Dang girl, Hammer be hurtin’ ‘em.
August 18, 2011 at 4:57 pm
This is your cue to make a racist comment, just to complete the trifecta.
August 18, 2011 at 5:25 pm
All that’s left is for Stephanie to speculate on whether or not the angel was born a woman.
August 18, 2011 at 5:47 pm
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August 18, 2011 at 6:55 pm
Oh Stephanie, just take the lessons learned, ditch this username, and try again tomorrow.
August 18, 2011 at 3:45 pm
and I can also add I havent heard the word faggot since middle school when the boys would pick on eachother
August 18, 2011 at 6:32 pm
I heard it in high school. But that was a short story about an Eskimo man burning faggots to keep from freezing to death. This is a bad story to assign to high schoolers without explaining the slang.
August 18, 2011 at 6:44 pm
It’s in common use on 4chan and other chans. But chans are like Vegas – what happens there should stay there. Plus, you often leave feeling dirty.
August 18, 2011 at 8:30 pm
@spasticaster Not everything that happens in VEgas, stays in Vegas.
There’s a billboard in Baker, and it says the above slogan (minus your name) and freestdcheck.org
I lol everytime I see it.
August 18, 2011 at 8:42 pm
Hell, I haven’t used a faggot since the last 15th century castle storming debacle. But the rose garden was delightful and high tea was to die for.
August 18, 2011 at 10:00 pm
My mom used it all the time, though it was in reference to her cigarettes.
August 19, 2011 at 6:41 am
The older use of that word is often too British for our homophobic American schools. I can see why it’d be a disaster in class.
I had a French class where no one had ever heard “impregnable” before, apparently.
August 19, 2011 at 7:57 am
August 19, 2011 at 10:56 am
Adding on to the comment about the Eskimo story, allow me to add (as a onetime middle school English teacher) that I recommend a little vocabulary work before assigning the part of the story where the little Stone-Age girl ties her boots on with thongs.
August 19, 2011 at 12:46 pm
Gee, I lug home faggots from the woods all the time.
Multi-tasking while walking the dog, collecting kindling for winter.
Trying not to look like the Log Lady from Northern Exposure.
And smirking proudly at my faggots.
August 18, 2011 at 5:32 pm
I love you, o-gif provider.
August 21, 2011 at 12:20 am
Check them all out: http://s165.photobucket.com/home/gitemstevedave/tag/Animated%20Gifs Free for anyone to use/hotlink. It’s why I have a pro account.
August 18, 2011 at 5:34 pm
Beautiful
August 18, 2011 at 6:17 pm
Jesus i love you so hard. Reading through all that StephanieA crap was a challenge, but you made it all worth while.
August 18, 2011 at 6:55 pm
Holy shit. This gif took my craptastic night and turned it into a thing of AWE AND WONDER.
AWE. AND. WONDER.
My love for you cannot be textually rendered, gif-bringer. Take instead this gift of
internets. Use them as you wish.August 19, 2011 at 6:42 am
Gitemstevedave’s talent is awesome indeed! My favorite part of the post.
August 18, 2011 at 4:53 pm
wow, i’ve never seen someone get “hate fucked” so hard.
August 18, 2011 at 5:07 pm
Totally! If you can’t say anything nice, people…..
August 18, 2011 at 7:20 pm
Then what the hell are you doing here armyofjelly?
August 18, 2011 at 5:34 pm
Hate fucking is an amazing thing. Now if you will excuse me, I am off to pick a fight with my husband.
August 18, 2011 at 7:40 pm
i’ll await your return on Youtube.
August 19, 2011 at 2:24 am
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August 19, 2011 at 10:59 am
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August 18, 2011 at 5:06 pm
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August 18, 2011 at 6:25 pm
The internet is a grand bastion of equal opportunity haterade. It doesn’t need you to understand it, it needs you to pour a little out for your homegirl up there.
August 18, 2011 at 6:48 pm
As an equal opportunity pourer, I think all our posts deserve a rum.
August 18, 2011 at 6:49 pm
This makes me think of the Mary J. Blige song “we don’t need no hateration, holleration in the dancery…”
August 18, 2011 at 7:15 pm
I just missed the batsignal again. The great picture in the sky of the fat angry lesbian womb-myn pile-on flashing through the clouds. Maybe a neon sign pointing at a slightly dopey-but-nothing-fascist post. THIS IS THE ONE! SEE HOW FAR IT CAN BE PUSHED!
Then butthurt is achieved and the night’s entertainment moves on.
August 18, 2011 at 11:16 pm
Still not one comment on the stained glass anglel with the Say What?! Description
August 18, 2011 at 3:37 pm
Mosaik? Okae, I spel liek yu. Cee, purfect Engrish.
August 18, 2011 at 3:42 pm
Dude, Mosaik is fucking awesome. Of course, being a Swede, he can speak better English than most Americans.
August 18, 2011 at 3:57 pm
There’s also seems to be a problem converting the currency, a cheap $5 sun-catcher should run for $199.99 at the most.
August 18, 2011 at 5:27 pm
this is a sun catcher from the future, when we Americans need a wheelbarrow full of cash to buy a loaf of bread.
August 18, 2011 at 3:37 pm
That’s an angle with butterfry wings!
August 18, 2011 at 7:18 pm
Is that the speech-impediment New Age version of the Smashing Pumpkins song?
August 18, 2011 at 3:37 pm
So, is she admitting that she bought these somewhere and didn’t make them?
August 18, 2011 at 3:39 pm
It sounds that way, doesn’t it? Also $380. Which is cool.
August 18, 2011 at 3:41 pm
$380 is to cover her “Hooked on Phonics” course.
August 18, 2011 at 3:50 pm
$380 would cover 610 years worth of listing fees and the sale fee. That should be just enough.
August 18, 2011 at 5:27 pm
It’s not working.
August 18, 2011 at 5:36 pm
I used to call hooked on phonics from pay phones when I was a kid. No clue why.
August 18, 2011 at 8:24 pm
Screw “Hooked on Phonics,” pay me $380.00 and I’ll teach her how to speak.
August 18, 2011 at 3:50 pm
Mosaic? Stone? Looks like a bit of leadlight work to me. Angles? Sounds like an acute case of straight up obtuse-ness. Am I right?
August 19, 2011 at 12:02 pm
Yeah, that’s definitely stained glass work. Maybe copper foiled, although the soldering isn’t terribly well done if it is.
August 18, 2011 at 3:51 pm
So, translation “I bought some stuff from a touristy souvenir shop and my family didn’t like it, so I’m passing the loss of money on to you*!” *at 300x the original cost
August 18, 2011 at 4:53 pm
Unequalaterally
August 18, 2011 at 4:20 pm
They’re gone? Weeping…
August 18, 2011 at 4:45 pm
DON’T BLINK!
August 18, 2011 at 5:36 pm
BLINK AND YOU’RE DEAD.
August 18, 2011 at 6:21 pm
Let’s see if I can make this work …
August 18, 2011 at 7:18 pm
Doctor Who geeks, w00t…I am amongst my people.
August 18, 2011 at 11:20 pm
Dr Who reference FTW
August 19, 2011 at 9:05 pm
I made those when I was a kid, you buy this little package of glass chunkties and a metal outline. You put some aluminium foil on a tray, pour the glass chunkies in the right part of the outline, and bake in your oven. Probably part of why I will have lung cancer some day.
Glass Chunkies TM
August 18, 2011 at 3:44 pm
Well it might have been handmade. Just not by her.
August 18, 2011 at 4:25 pm
See, someone somewhere made this by hand and with her limited comprehension skills, she thinks it counts. Besides, she took the picture and wrote up the listing all by herself. Cut her some slack!
August 18, 2011 at 5:06 pm
surely (s)he meant when (s)he FIRST saw them come out of her oven. Michaels’craft’s are difficult and take the dedication of a 6-year-old, thus the price tag.
August 19, 2011 at 12:05 pm
It’s stained glass, not terribly well done, but the work IS difficult and time-consuming. No oven (this isn’t Shrinky Dinks, after all) – you spend hours cutting and grinding and copper foiling or leading, and soldering. A little one like this ain’t worth more than about $15 any way you slice it, though.
August 18, 2011 at 3:38 pm
Sweet Baby Jesus. Go grab a fucking dictionary. Better yet – go back to first grade where you lern you’s grammer. Fucktard.
August 18, 2011 at 5:07 pm
How are you not understanding this?
She bought one for one family of one member each and each of that one is the one for whom she bought one. Was she need bought one for member one of one family? Well, that is decided for by yourself. But she felt need bought by her own motivations which were then in the making.
So she bought five- one being for each of the ones that received this gift (there were five ones).
Now- transfer the amount of the numbers just specified and all the ones will also be sent to you. Also you’ll get your cat back.
August 18, 2011 at 5:39 pm
But I had a dog….
August 18, 2011 at 5:52 pm
Is cat now!
August 18, 2011 at 7:19 pm
Win!
August 18, 2011 at 8:46 pm
…then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out.
August 18, 2011 at 3:38 pm
I always love geometry. All the angels were fun to measure and draw.
August 18, 2011 at 4:04 pm
It was hard fitting them into the smaller shapes, though. 3 angels in a triangle=cramped wings!
August 18, 2011 at 4:05 pm
Scissors came in handy.
August 18, 2011 at 4:42 pm
TriANGEL
Like Cerberus, but wings and no butt licking.
August 18, 2011 at 5:28 pm
I went to Catholic school so we mainly concerned ourselves with how many angles would fit on the head of a pin.
August 18, 2011 at 5:38 pm
I am taking the other half of my trig class this semester which includes analytic geometry. The last time I had geometry, I was a sophomore in high school. I’m 29. Shit’s about to get real.
August 18, 2011 at 6:29 pm
just make sure it doesn’t go wrong.
i’m sorry, i couldn’t help myself, you totally put it out there.
August 18, 2011 at 6:41 pm
<3 lol
August 18, 2011 at 3:38 pm
380$ thats a steal.
August 18, 2011 at 3:38 pm
Seller. Please get someone else to write your copy. A three year old, perhaps.
August 18, 2011 at 3:38 pm
But it’s a coloured glass leadlight, not a stone mosaic. Sorry, mosaik.
August 18, 2011 at 3:51 pm
If it’s light on lead, it’s only because the seller’s been eating it.
August 18, 2011 at 8:35 pm
Ah butts…You are winning me over with that one…not that I am anyone but a fat jealous loser…
August 19, 2011 at 11:02 am
But angles are also portrayed in stone mosaiks, right?
Well, there you are.
August 18, 2011 at 3:38 pm
I see *someone’s* been using the magnetic poetry for their item descriptions…
August 18, 2011 at 3:39 pm
I like my angles a little more obtuse than that.
August 18, 2011 at 3:41 pm
But misspellinks are so acute!
August 18, 2011 at 5:39 pm
When I was in middle school, my teacher told us that you can always remember that an acute angle is less than 90 degrees by thinking that a small girl is acute girl….
I then asked what does that make his fat ugly ass.
I got sent to the office a lot in school.
August 18, 2011 at 9:32 pm
Fucking middle school math teachers… making girls hate math AND their bodies. You were a very brave middle schooler for calling him out mrsckugs. Thanks.
August 18, 2011 at 9:40 pm
He was a dick. On the last day of school we were allowed to briing in water guns. He took mine away for no reason. I got him back though. Last period he didn’t have a class and left early, so I took my gun back and peed on his gradebook.
August 18, 2011 at 3:48 pm
I’d say the seller is plenty obtuse if they think they’re getting $380 for that thing.
August 18, 2011 at 10:06 pm
What about your sellers?
August 18, 2011 at 3:40 pm
Efry thyme a belle ring a angle wing get.
August 18, 2011 at 9:58 pm
I kind of love you right now.
August 18, 2011 at 3:40 pm
I’m willing to bet that the 5 she bought didn’t come to a quarter of the price she’s charging for this piece of shit.
August 18, 2011 at 3:42 pm
This is the first project beginner pattern.
August 18, 2011 at 3:42 pm
Stone? They’re stained glass.
August 18, 2011 at 3:54 pm
Stone, stained glass. They’re almost the same thing…it’s just that one is stone and one is…um…not stone.
August 18, 2011 at 8:39 pm
“We are so differents but we are so similarity.”
August 18, 2011 at 4:38 pm
She meant “Stoned”. As in “I was stoned when I wrote this description”.
August 18, 2011 at 5:45 pm
I was wondering when someone was going to wise up and call this what it is… WTF is leadlight? British?
August 18, 2011 at 9:17 pm
It’s a stained glass sun catcher made from the free photocopied pattern you get at the glass shop to make your first project.
August 18, 2011 at 3:42 pm
Aaaaand….. it’s gone.
August 18, 2011 at 3:42 pm
It’s already gone. I wanted to see the rest of the wonderful store.
August 18, 2011 at 3:44 pm
Those torso fangs make it worth every penny. I mean, peso.
August 18, 2011 at 3:44 pm
Are those tiny blue boobies on the front of the angle? Should angles have their boobies emphasized in that manner? Now I’m slightly titillated, which makes me terribly confused.
August 18, 2011 at 3:46 pm
They look like Madonna cones. Maybe those are the angles to which the name implies?
August 18, 2011 at 3:58 pm
Madonna cone angle boobies…only on Regretsy. Just one more reason this is the best place on the internet!
August 18, 2011 at 4:00 pm
Like a virgin, painted for the very first time.
August 18, 2011 at 4:39 pm
Now I’d buy that.
August 18, 2011 at 8:00 pm
Madonna cone angle boobies? This sounds like something I would use in the process of installing a dishwasher.
August 18, 2011 at 7:10 pm
Tee-pee tits…..
August 18, 2011 at 9:57 pm
August 18, 2011 at 4:06 pm
I think they’re supposed to be hands, but as poorly as they’re done, they could be almost anything.
August 18, 2011 at 4:08 pm
A creepy mid-torso mouth? Like some kind of crazy blob angle?
August 18, 2011 at 4:20 pm
Angle goatsee.
It can be used multipurpose.
August 18, 2011 at 5:49 pm
That conclusion works well, if you see praying hands, but the tiny blue pieces on either side, I believe, are derps.
August 18, 2011 at 3:44 pm
“they are all over the spread the world…to protect their homes – so far it works.
That’s specious reasoning. What if I were to tell you that this rock keeps away tigers? It doesn’t work. It’s just a stupid rock. But you don’t see any tigers around, do you?
Lisa, I’d like to buy your rock.
August 18, 2011 at 4:00 pm
When I was little, my dad used to tell me that a certain tree in the yard kept the elephants away. At the time, how could I argue with the logic: “But you don’t see any elephants around, do you?”
August 18, 2011 at 9:30 pm
The same logic can be used to explain the ‘No Mello Roos’ signs in front of California houses for sale. You don’t see any kangaroos lounging peacefully on the front lawns, do you?
August 19, 2011 at 9:46 am
This comment reminds me of a video I saw once.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IrhXtuXKIFQ
“You don’t see vampires here because of these garlic flowers”.
August 18, 2011 at 3:49 pm
erth angle, erth angle, plese be mine
My darlnig deer, luv yuo all the time
I’m jsut a fool, fool, a fool in love with yuo…
August 18, 2011 at 3:51 pm
August 18, 2011 at 3:54 pm
Is the guy with glasses going for a reach around?
August 19, 2011 at 11:06 am
When I see this, I always want to believe that he’s spotted the misspelled sign, and is trying to get the other guy to take it down, but his eyes are actually directed somewhere else.
August 18, 2011 at 4:00 pm
What’s all this talk about ‘Death to Juice’?
Juice is an important part of this nutritious breakfast and Juice has vitamin C which is an essential vitamin…
No, Emily, It’s “Death to JEWS.”
Oh. Sorry. Never mind.
August 18, 2011 at 4:08 pm
This poster brought to you by Jack LaLanne’s Ultimate Holocaust Smoothie Machine.
“Because antioxidants make the trains run on time.”
August 18, 2011 at 8:45 pm
Great, AWESOME .gifs on this post, no doubt, but damn, this comment floored me!
August 18, 2011 at 4:41 pm
No, no.. It clearly reads ‘Death to Juice’. He must not be a Tropicana fan.
August 18, 2011 at 10:54 pm
Or doesn’t realize that Tang isn’t actually juice. If he’d ever had fresh-squeezed juice, he’d change his mind.
August 18, 2011 at 5:29 pm
Is this a real misspelling or a hilarous anti-Semetic photoshop?
August 19, 2011 at 11:07 am
To the best of my knowledge, it’s authentic. Real demo.
August 18, 2011 at 6:28 pm
He can spell Zionists but not Jews? Or is he against kosher OJ? Or just against OJ Simpson?
August 18, 2011 at 6:36 pm
hey man, don’t you think The Juice has been through enough? He’s innocent** dammit!!
**probably not
August 18, 2011 at 7:22 pm
Clearly he’s a fan of the Atkins diet.
August 18, 2011 at 9:21 pm
I don’t know about you but I don’t want to drink living juice!
August 18, 2011 at 10:12 pm
No, it’s obviously a sign decrying the rampant use of steroids in the Gaza strip. (little known fact) ((and because I added that, it makes it true))
August 18, 2011 at 3:53 pm
From this angle, it sure looks like reseller.
August 18, 2011 at 3:55 pm
Well, it’s hard to translate from Chinese to English….whole different alphabet….etc….
August 18, 2011 at 8:39 pm
even worse, the Chinese don’t have an alphabet…etc…
August 19, 2011 at 12:24 pm
There may be Chinese living in Port Elisabeth, but more likely they are translating from Afrikaans, Zulu, Xhosa, Sotho, or any of several other native languages. Maybe we should cut them some slack…..
Nah, what was I thinking?
August 18, 2011 at 3:55 pm
Oh, for Sake Christ’s!
August 18, 2011 at 6:00 pm
Break me a fucking give.
August 18, 2011 at 3:58 pm
“my first thougth was I need to buy for each family one member one”
I don’t think I want you to buy a member for each family. First of all, I’m sure they have their own members, and second of all, I think they prefer their members to your members… if you have a member, that is.
Also, get a friend with better English to help you write. Unless you’re nine… in which case, get your parents to spank you and get yo’ ass back in school.
August 18, 2011 at 4:05 pm
I was at my club and a lady mentioned that she had heard someone refer to a man’s genitals as “Bob and the twins.”
Another lady overheard this and said, “I don’t know them. Are they members?”
The first lady said, “Well, Bob is.”
August 18, 2011 at 4:28 pm
Topic: should penises automatically be members of Club Fuckery?
talk amongst yourselves.
August 18, 2011 at 5:42 pm
Did you hear about this guy that is suing his doctor? The doc was only supposed to perform a circumcision, but cut off he penis. The doctor contends he saw cancer when he went to do the surgery and the penis had to go.
August 18, 2011 at 4:19 pm
I’m all for spanking men’s members. Wait, what?
August 18, 2011 at 9:34 pm
Well, you might need a spare member or two if you are taking on ‘all the spread world.’
August 18, 2011 at 10:14 pm
All I could hear when a read this is Fagan singing “You’ve Got to Spare a Member or Two.”
August 18, 2011 at 3:59 pm
I think my four year old grandson can put together sentences better than this~
August 18, 2011 at 3:59 pm
The operative word in the ad might be “stone”.
August 18, 2011 at 4:35 pm
singing:
Angles we have heard get high
Sweetly singing okra the plains,
And the mountains in reply
Echoing their joyous strains.
und then translated into Dutch und back again
The angles which we get high in a sweet manner singing okra the plains, and the mounts in answer have heard echoing their joyous tensions.
August 18, 2011 at 5:50 pm
*credit translation idea to amazon. If there was Finnish in Babel fish, that would have been first choice.
August 18, 2011 at 4:03 pm
This is why the angels weep, and want to kill us. Because THIS is how we portray and describe them.
p.s. don’t blink
August 18, 2011 at 4:11 pm
ARE YOU CRAZY! Don’t you remember? That which holds the image of an angel becomes an angel! You’ve doomed us all!
…And just like that, I unzipped my pants and whipped out monster sized Dr. Who nerd…
August 18, 2011 at 4:19 pm
*puts on dr. who geek hat*
Can we agree that the re-use of the weeping angels last season was TOTALLY LAME, and almost ruined the weeping angels? Seriously, leave well enough alone. I’m starting to hate Matt Smith, even though I know that it isn’t his fault the writers keep rehashing the monsters from David Tennant’s tenure
August 18, 2011 at 4:22 pm
It’s OK Amazon… you are in a safe harbor amongst friends…
August 18, 2011 at 4:42 pm
I just knew that someone would come up with something about “Weeping Angles.” As someone who doesn’t know many real life Doctor fans, I feel so comforted seeing this here.
August 18, 2011 at 4:44 pm
More info about the angels was cool, at least.
And come on… DW is all about reusing monsters! Daleks, anyone? Cybermen? Sontarans?
*ahem*
Personally, I liked Tom Baker the best. Ridiculous scarf for the win!
August 18, 2011 at 5:18 pm
“Act like you can see them Amy! I know, they’re supposed to turn into stone if they are being seen, so if you can’t see them they won’t be stone, but just fake it and pretend the audience is full of dumbasses. Look, a second Eleven!”
That’s about all I remember from that scene.
August 18, 2011 at 5:19 pm
AGREED. Do we really need any more damn Daleks?!? No we do not. Move the #$&@ on.
Also, as Doctors go, Tennant could kick Smith’s ass to Gallifrey and back.
August 18, 2011 at 5:21 pm
The angels were the second scariest thing in my world after the…thing in Midnight, until in the last season we actually saw them move. And then they were really lame. It took all the scary out for some reason…
Although I’m really with Kitriana on this one, DW does nothing but re-use monsters. That’s one of the main features of the show. We know the big bads, and we kind of love them.
August 18, 2011 at 5:32 pm
they’ve been rehashing monsters for SIXTY BLOODY YEARS. (Daleks, Cybermen…) Get over it.
August 18, 2011 at 5:50 pm
I think Smith is ok…I just really resent him not having any eyebrows.
It just disturbs me somehow.
August 18, 2011 at 7:25 pm
I would just like to say that I still have my fan club badge from 1980-something and I’d still wear my club t-shirt if it fit. I am much taller now than when I was five.
August 18, 2011 at 9:13 pm
Just send the angels tonight’s troll parade. They won’t ever be back.
August 18, 2011 at 4:12 pm
I had to put all of my lawn statuary in the garage for a few months after I saw that episode.
August 18, 2011 at 4:18 pm
Nothing has terrified me more than The Weeping Angels. Holy crap they scare me.
August 18, 2011 at 4:38 pm
You just got us all killed. Congratulations.
August 18, 2011 at 7:26 pm
Your icon is the perfect fit for this.
August 18, 2011 at 4:42 pm
“Don’t blink”? Is this a gif? I stared for 35 minutes waiting and nothing happens. Maybe it’s not a gif.
August 18, 2011 at 6:55 pm
No, but this is.
NOW WE ARE WELL AND TRULY SCREWED.
August 18, 2011 at 7:25 pm
I just pooped myself in terror.
August 18, 2011 at 7:27 pm
Yeah, that sound you heard was my husband screaming like a small girl.
August 18, 2011 at 7:33 pm
Please make this not happen anymore. That is so very frightening.
August 18, 2011 at 7:11 pm
Me too. I kept looking for something really, really subtle.
August 18, 2011 at 5:13 pm
10…..
August 18, 2011 at 7:27 pm
. . .9
August 19, 2011 at 12:37 am
Sorry, I meant 8…..
August 19, 2011 at 12:37 am
9….
August 19, 2011 at 10:19 am
7 …
August 18, 2011 at 4:04 pm
“Rip-Off, She Wrote: The Curse of the Mosaik”
– starring Angle-a Lansbury
August 18, 2011 at 4:06 pm
My first thought is that I’d like to throw up. My second thought is that there are definitely angles here. It’s the head, and the way it’s slowly escaping the neck.
August 18, 2011 at 4:09 pm
From now on, I’m going to write my item descriptions in English (because I speak it, motherfucker) and then use Babelfish to translate it to… I dunno… Dutch. Then use Google Translate to translate it back to English.
That is how I will write my item descriptions from now on.
August 18, 2011 at 4:11 pm
Here’s what happened when I did just that with the comment above-
“From now on, I’m my item descriptions in English (because I, motherfucker) will write and speak it using Babelfish to translate it … I dunno … Dutch. Then use Google to translate it back to the English translation. I will my item descriptions from now on writing.”
August 18, 2011 at 4:22 pm
I picture/hear “because I, motherfucker” to be read in the most angry and dramatic way possible. I LIKE IT.
August 18, 2011 at 4:26 pm
Poetry reading night at the new Club Fuckery!!
August 18, 2011 at 5:34 pm
“I, Motherfucker” is a novel by Isaac Asimov, isn’t it?
August 18, 2011 at 5:43 pm
If “I, Motherfucker” isn’t an Asimov novel, it motherfucking should be.
August 18, 2011 at 5:48 pm
LIKE SAMUEL L. JACKSON!!!
“It’s the one with bad motherfucker on it”
August 18, 2011 at 8:51 pm
Hey, if there is motherfucking going on around in here, I am getting myself in that line!
August 18, 2011 at 10:28 pm
@BlackGermanShepherd: this is for you…
August 19, 2011 at 11:15 am
I think “I, Motherfucker” is the book Caligula might have added to Robert Graves’ Claudius Trilogy if he had been allowed.
August 18, 2011 at 4:44 pm
Your sales will now go through the roof.
August 18, 2011 at 5:45 pm
Ya gotta use bad translator… http://www.ackuna.com/badtranslator
56 translations later I got:
“English (me is illegal), Butterflyfish, are available. … I know … Netherlands. Google translation of the Czech Republic. The project is now saying.”
August 18, 2011 at 8:55 pm
Found my facebook status generator from now on. Thanks!
August 19, 2011 at 8:08 am
Lost in Translation is my favourite. Sad to see it disappearing at the end of this year.
http://tashian.com/multibabel/
After dragging through Google Translate in various languages, it produced:
“I can now (because you have it, mother), English to write your own description of the project with the Babel Fish translator, then … I do not know … Netherlands. Then, use the text back into English by Google.”
Almost makes sense! As much as the angle seller, anyway.
August 18, 2011 at 9:28 pm
English grammar is a strange and complicated thing.
August 19, 2011 at 1:50 pm
August 18, 2011 at 4:11 pm
Dont Babelfish go in the ear?
August 18, 2011 at 4:24 pm
No, but Angle fish do
August 18, 2011 at 8:17 pm
Now there’s a band! Shirley Manson= GODDESS
August 18, 2011 at 4:12 pm
I save you the trouble on this post! (it came out surprisingly coherent):
From now on, I point my descriptions in English (because I, motherfucker) then write and speak using Babelfish to translate it … I dunno … Dutch. Then use Google to translate it back to the English translation. I will my item descriptions from now on writing.
August 18, 2011 at 4:12 pm
aw crap, too slow
August 18, 2011 at 4:22 pm
Too slow! She beat you to posting the… oh.
August 18, 2011 at 5:00 pm
That’s okay, Amazon. I’m a freaky-fast typist and I also copied the whole thing for pasting into Babelfish before I hit “post comment”.
You never had a chance.
I still gave you a thumbs-up.
August 18, 2011 at 5:34 pm
And now I have that Black Crowes song “She Talks to Angles” stuck in my head. Thanks.
August 18, 2011 at 7:29 pm
If I recall, some of the early pressings of that album had that exact typo in the title. I always sang it that way.
August 18, 2011 at 5:46 pm
She, apparently, couldn’t spell “stained glass”. But opting for Mosiak isn’t an improvement
August 18, 2011 at 7:38 pm
How funny. You must be channeling HK because I found one of these too. http://www.etsy.com/listing/73288108/driftwood-angle-fish?ref=tre-594478998-14
Personally, I think it looks more like a lion fish, but hey, I am just a fat jealous loser! Enjoy!
August 18, 2011 at 8:04 pm
“Angle” must be the new “whimsicle.”
And although I could go into a rant about sticking seraphim in the corners, that would be obtuse and acutely irrelevant.
August 18, 2011 at 8:16 pm
…Am I the only one who sees an angel jacking off?
August 18, 2011 at 10:00 pm
Lay off the cough syrup.
August 18, 2011 at 8:40 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
August 18, 2011 at 9:57 pm
Not into stone angles so much.. I’m more into stone curves.
August 18, 2011 at 9:58 pm
If they’re going to charge that kind of money they could at least cough up a story about it being haunted or having some kind of magical powers.
August 18, 2011 at 10:12 pm
So I am gonna pay $400 for some shit that they didn’t even make. Damn I wanna meet the ppl that buy those things sell them some snake oil. :facepalm:
August 19, 2011 at 11:22 am
Well, what are you waiting for? Open an Etsy shop and sell that snake oil!
August 19, 2011 at 12:27 am
Don’t panic! As long as you’ve got a towel, you’re safe.
Maybe the “artist” meant that is an angel made of angles. Or perhaps it’s just a crappy piece of headlight after all.
August 19, 2011 at 2:06 am
“I mention his talk about angles because it suggests something Wilcox had told
me of his awful dreams. He said that the geometry of the dream-place he saw was
abnormal, non-Euclidean, and loathsomely redolent of spheres and dimensions apart from
ours.”
And dead Cthulhu lies dreaming of 380 bucks angles.
August 19, 2011 at 2:13 am
Hope she spends that $380 to learn English.
August 19, 2011 at 6:48 am
Hmm…I don’t know…I kinda like it. TO me, it just looks….right, somehow.
Yes, it’s right…
*wait for it….*
It’s a RIGHT ANGLE!
you may groan now.
August 19, 2011 at 11:28 am
First!
Oh fuck. Am I too late?
August 19, 2011 at 11:05 pm
Not that it matters in the grand scheme, but as a glass mosaic artist I can say with certainty that this is neither mosaic nor stone.