New Feature! (NSFW)
By now, you already know that I buy a lot of weird shit.
I’ve shown you my wardrobe:
My novelty samplers:
Even my dishes:
But I’m now at the point where I seem to buy at least one jaw-dropping, staggering piece of fuckery once a week. And that means it’s time for a new feature here on Regretsy:
This week’s purchase just happened this morning, and I’m already standing by the mail box and making whimpering sounds. Are you ready? Because I don’t think you’re ready. I’m not even ready.
Jesus Christ, I want this so bad I’m actually jealous, and I bought it.
Of course, for every happy tear on Etsy, there’s a sad mustache. But I’ll try not to dwell on the fact that I missed this.
SHIT
Shopping Guide:
• Judge Judy and House samplers by Steotch
• “Fuck You” sampler by Maya (not taking orders)
• Dog caftan by Outrageous Rags
• Star Wars altered birthday cake set, Judge Judy plate and Judge Mathis plate by Beat Up Creations
• William and Kate commemorative plate by Gribsby
• Scotty quilt by The Alligator Bride
August 17, 2011 at 2:49 pm
How could you have picked Scotty over the Trouble With Tribbles one?
August 17, 2011 at 3:20 pm
What I want to know is, what upcycled materials were made to make the Tribbles?
August 17, 2011 at 3:30 pm
What bothers me is the copy that says Kirk ate the Tribbles. He never ate any Tribbles! After you shave off all the fur, there’s barely enough meat to put on a stick.
August 17, 2011 at 7:30 pm
But the tribbles ate the quadrotriticale.
Now I want a t-shirt that says “EAT MORE ‘CALE.”
August 17, 2011 at 9:57 pm
“After you shave off all the fur, there’s barely enough meat to put on a stick.”
August 17, 2011 at 10:58 pm
GAH! Somebody bought the Tribble! Alright… we want to see pictures.
August 18, 2011 at 8:49 am
@Postmenopaws–make it (include one tribble in the graphic) and I will buy it!! *jumping up and down in happy, silly, nerd excitement*
August 22, 2011 at 9:01 am
@Postmenopaws: THIS explains my dream about tribbles this past weekend! I couldn’t understand where the heck the tribbles had come from. I was in my mom’s house (neither with us anymore) and she’d found three giant white tribbles I’d made (actually tried making them back during the Ford Administration, with no luck). I moved them around the table, to make it look as if there was a huge number. I think (hope) I was a lot younger in my dream than I am now. Then again, nerdness really has no age, does it?
August 17, 2011 at 3:21 pm
*were used to make the Tribbles*
August 17, 2011 at 3:30 pm
As any Scot will tell you, ‘If it’s not Scottish, it’s crap!’
August 17, 2011 at 2:49 pm
I want that Klingon Flag quilt. WANT.
August 17, 2011 at 5:20 pm
Me too!
Especially since the white circle looks like it’s a dainty floral print.
August 17, 2011 at 2:49 pm
The Judge Judy sampler is BY FAR one of my most favorite things EVER on Etsy.
August 17, 2011 at 3:39 pm
I want one SO BAD….
August 17, 2011 at 3:51 pm
I fucking love that one.
Some of the others in that shop are pretty great too. I’m just trying not to laugh too hard because I don’t want to distract anyone.
August 17, 2011 at 2:49 pm
Ye can not change the laws of comfort, Cap’n.
August 17, 2011 at 2:50 pm
Scotty, one to warm up.
August 17, 2011 at 2:52 pm
Scotty, the bridge is cold. I need warm factor 9 right now!
I’m given her all I got Cap’n, but I jus canna do it! I need time!
August 17, 2011 at 3:09 pm
Marry me, please.
August 17, 2011 at 3:25 pm
Just got a nerdgasm off that one.
August 17, 2011 at 3:27 pm
“When are you going to get off that milk diet, lad?”
August 17, 2011 at 3:30 pm
August 17, 2011 at 3:32 pm
Oh, that makes me swoon! I still think of him when I see someone with a large glass of vodka, straight.
August 17, 2011 at 4:04 pm
Oh Scotty was a Scotch man only…It was Scotty who said about vodka…“When are you going to get off that milk diet, lad?”
August 17, 2011 at 4:07 pm
Blackgermanshepherd, of course Scotty was a Scotch-only man! When I see a full glass of vodka straight I think of him telling Chekov (with the vodka) to get off the milk diet.
August 17, 2011 at 4:14 pm
Ohhh, Ok…Now I get it…yeah, I am slow on the uptake sometimes…just found out what everyone meant by “sampler”..go figure.
August 17, 2011 at 8:33 pm
That picture of Scotty and his whiskey makes me think of everyone here at Regretsy. I can’t imagine why…
August 18, 2011 at 4:34 am
its only 16″x12″ – its couldn’t even work as a draft stopper on the bridge!
August 17, 2011 at 3:26 pm
Best I could do in a few minutes.
August 17, 2011 at 3:28 pm
I think I love you for that.
August 17, 2011 at 3:28 pm
You deserve so many little green thumbs I’m going to need to go digging in the graveyard.
August 17, 2011 at 3:33 pm
I can’t see the monitor through my tears of joy!
August 17, 2011 at 4:08 pm
I’ll just go stand in the wedding-proposal line.
August 17, 2011 at 4:37 pm
Bring a glass. We’ll share some Scotch while we wait.
August 17, 2011 at 6:23 pm
Kampai! *clink*
August 17, 2011 at 5:19 pm
Scotty (whiny voice of dread): “Aw, Ciptin, it’s all tacked together wit’ Stitch-Witch’ry….”(grunting)….”I’ll do me best, but I can’na change the laws of tailoring…” *musical sting*
August 17, 2011 at 6:55 pm
I read this comment out loud to my boyfriend, and he LOL’d then complimented me on my accent. I told him that my accent is only as good as the spelling, so here’s to you, Lizbeth_Borden!
August 18, 2011 at 4:36 am
best comment thread of the day!!!!!!
August 18, 2011 at 8:35 am
Pretty sure it was Chekov who said “Ciptin”… and yes, I’m a giant nerd.
August 17, 2011 at 2:50 pm
I am envious about the sheer amount of kitsch, fuckery-themed tat. I am now plotting on how to insinuate myself into your life and become you. Become. You.
I mean, we spend a whole lot of time getting kitschy tat from carboot sales (though last weekend we were forced to turn down a popcorn maker shaped like a duck cause it was too expensive) but you, April, you put me to shame.
August 17, 2011 at 2:57 pm
Someday many many years from now, when your executor is going through your estate, (s)he is going to become completely baffled.
(Am doing same with elderly family friend; turns out her late spouse served in the OSS during WW2. Who knew?! Neither of us did until she had me force the lock on his desk.)
August 17, 2011 at 3:03 pm
OSS in WWII? I am soooooo completely jealous! Yes, I am a historian, how did you guess?
August 17, 2011 at 3:03 pm
Why did she have a collection of mouthless china dolls with black eyes?
Is this a picture of a dinosaur masturbating?
No wonder grandma didn’t have any money to spend on us, she spent it all on stuffed Daleks!
August 17, 2011 at 5:16 pm
Long time lurker/first time poster. I host estate sales for a living. No matter how religious, how straight laced, how prudish or how uppity someone is, there is almost always a vibrator and porn hidden somewhere in the house. Those items, along with all of the other weird oddball crap, I call estate sale gold!
August 17, 2011 at 5:25 pm
My friend’s father, when he was just starting out as a Probate attorney, made the mistake of bringing the brand-new elderly widow in to witness the opening of her husband’s Safe Deposit Box at the bank. It was filled with Polaroids of her husband, hundreds of them, all with different prostitute types. In life, he had worked as a traveling salesman. From then on, the lawyers always opened safes & such with witnesses from the firm, not anyone emotionally involved.
August 17, 2011 at 2:51 pm
Who will re-create the “Fuck you, you fuckin’ fuck” sampler for me? I’ll happily pay!
August 17, 2011 at 3:04 pm
I think i need to dig my counted cross stitch crap out of storage
August 17, 2011 at 3:18 pm
Seriously, I want it so bad it hurts.
August 17, 2011 at 5:58 pm
I could do a more floral-ly one. I wouldn’t want to step on anyone’s copyright.
August 17, 2011 at 8:49 pm
I desperately NEED to give my sister one for Christmas.
August 17, 2011 at 2:51 pm
Ahh, poor Scotty. He’s never looked the same since one of the reactors exploded all over his neck. You would have thought, though that they had medical technology that could heal scars like that on the Enterprise.
August 17, 2011 at 2:53 pm
Also, before I read your comment I did wonder why you were buying Saddam Hussein memorabilia.
August 17, 2011 at 3:16 pm
I saw Burt Reynolds, personally…
August 17, 2011 at 9:58 pm
I peed in Burt Reynold’s butt once. True Story.
August 17, 2011 at 4:38 pm
I saw Ron effing Swanson
August 17, 2011 at 5:49 pm
I met the star of “The Beverly Hillbillies”, the great Buddy Ebson when I was eleven. I thought he was so cuuuute!!!
August 17, 2011 at 2:52 pm
I want Maya’s sampler so bad. I’d even consider doing the Truffle Shuffle to obtain it.
August 17, 2011 at 2:52 pm
I love dogs
I love every kind of dog
I just wanna wear all of them
But I can’t
Can’t wear every dog
Can’t wear every dog.
(also, I thought the Scotty quilt was a dog-coat at first glance: how cool would that be?!)
August 17, 2011 at 2:56 pm
Bonus points if you put it on a Scottish terrier.
August 17, 2011 at 2:56 pm
I’m now thinking the caftan needs more bow ties and baskets.
August 17, 2011 at 7:51 pm
..I smell a new Etsy shop…
August 17, 2011 at 2:53 pm
“I will not buy stuff I do not need. I will not buy stuff I do not need. I will not buy stuff I do not need. I will not….”
IT’S NOT WORKING.
August 17, 2011 at 2:56 pm
Being broke helps!
August 17, 2011 at 3:41 pm
It helps, but it didn’t stop me from commissioning a robo Rowe hopper from Larriva:
http://www.etsy.com/conversations/image?convo_id=26977680&image_id=9809550&image_type=full
August 17, 2011 at 3:04 pm
Resistance is futile.
August 17, 2011 at 3:20 pm
I just cleaned out junk renting one of those We Tow Away garbage dumps.
I have sorted what I don’t need and am planning a yard sale.
Downsizing, Nana B style – that is, I just got a note that the Granny Goatsie I ordered should be here Saturday; I am still getting packages of the little things I ordered from the last AA sale and am ready for the next one.
Somebody help me.
August 17, 2011 at 3:41 pm
Someone should start AAA (April’s Army Anonymous)…
August 17, 2011 at 3:44 pm
(I think they call it ‘Hoarders’ and you can watch it on TV)
August 17, 2011 at 4:09 pm
“Hoarders” doesn’t show houses filled with fine-quality fuckery! It shows piles of old newspapers (NOT made into fascinators) and broken toasters (not upcycled into paper weights), and stacks of old mismatched shoes (what? YOU can do something with mismatched shoes?).
August 17, 2011 at 5:11 pm
Don’t forget the episode when they kept finding mummified dead cats in the layers of shit.
August 17, 2011 at 7:58 pm
..it’s more a question of what CAN’T you do with mismatched shoes! They’re the do-everything craft-it-all starter kit!
Add a bit of grosgrain ribbon and some eyelet lace? A basket!
Add a trowel-full of potting soil and a marigold? A planter!
Add a layer of gold spray paint? Sprinkles? Glitter? Barnwood? Front page, baby!
August 18, 2011 at 3:39 pm
@pearlheartgtr, that’s always the saddest bit to me–the horrors these people submit their children and animals to through their hoarding.
August 17, 2011 at 2:54 pm
I wasnt the transporter quilt SO BAD. And so you know, as i was reading this post, I was waiting on Star Trek Season 2; Episode 1 to load on netflix. I’m not EVEN joking.
August 17, 2011 at 6:01 pm
I’d fight you (and the buyer) for that quilt!
August 17, 2011 at 10:24 pm
All I can see after that comment is Kirk and Spock fighting with the giant q-tips… if that’s the case, that would be awesome!
August 17, 2011 at 6:41 pm
The only problem I have with the quilt is they don’t have any security guards on it. You have to have SOME canon fodder when you beam down to an alien planet, right? I mean, you can’t have them killing off the heroes right and left.
August 18, 2011 at 4:39 am
red shirt alert!
August 17, 2011 at 2:54 pm
I’d covet the tribble one except my husband has no sense of kitsch and I have vengeful cats.
August 18, 2011 at 4:39 am
when did you move into my house?
August 18, 2011 at 2:39 pm
Kitsch nothing. That thing is objectively AWESOME.
August 17, 2011 at 2:54 pm
That transporter beam quilt is seriously fucking fabulous.
August 17, 2011 at 5:49 pm
I especially love the white and gold damask transporter panels!
August 17, 2011 at 2:55 pm
April, I’m pretty sure your house should be designated the US Museum of Fuckery. Just think of the gift shop potential!
August 17, 2011 at 2:55 pm
There needs to be a series of Judge Judy ones with my favorite phrases like “There is something mentally wrong with you” and “My lips are moving means I’m speaking!”
August 17, 2011 at 5:52 pm
Haaahaaaa! I am afraid of Judge Judy. She’s mean.
August 17, 2011 at 6:19 pm
But she’s mean in the most awesome way!
August 17, 2011 at 2:56 pm
I am drooling over those Star Wars dishes. Amazeballs. I want them so bad. Who made them?
August 17, 2011 at 3:02 pm
Beat Up Creations. Link is in Helen’s shopping guide at the bottom of her post.
August 17, 2011 at 3:06 pm
now I see it. I swear it wasn’t there when I first read the post. lol
August 17, 2011 at 6:04 pm
Beat up creations is awesome. I am this close *holds thumb & forefinger less than 1mm apart* to commissioning a set of MST3K plates.
August 17, 2011 at 7:04 pm
Doooode…I so love MST3K! What a great idea! I just finished down loading every single MST3K movie ever done, it took 3 days but worth it. I would totally get plates too.
August 17, 2011 at 10:25 pm
I heard a rumor they’re bringing it back! I hope it’s true!
August 19, 2011 at 1:07 am
I got a friend a set of MST3k coasters, one of which had Krankor the chicken alien on it. I forgot the seller name but my friend loved them. And MST3k isn’t back- the creators/stars have 2 projects. Mike, Kevin and Bill have rifftrax.com where they make fun of main stream movies, and Joel, Trace, frank, and Mary Jo do Cinematic Titanic which does the cheesy mst style movies.
Hhehe I’m not obsessed! (side note, anyone going to Dragoncon I’ll be in the Crow costume. If you see me give me the secret CF4L handshake!)
August 17, 2011 at 2:58 pm
I don’t see the outlet where the vibrator plugs into.
August 17, 2011 at 6:24 pm
Maybe you’re sitting on it?
August 17, 2011 at 2:58 pm
*head asplodes* Oh, shitsnacks, that transporter quilt is complete and total WANT.
August 17, 2011 at 3:01 pm
Ohhh, Regretsy lady, you have touched me in the dark and nerdy places within my soul.
This weekend, the boobshelf is all for you. Well, you know, I’ll be nerding it up at the ren faire, the boobshelf will be out, but I shall call it “April”.
How good is my boobshelf? Yeah, its that good.
August 17, 2011 at 3:06 pm
Patty, Patty, Patty. I’m speechless. Gay, but still speechless. Gotta say DG is a lucky, lucky man if he can have a beer available at all times during the Renn Faire. Wow.
August 17, 2011 at 3:14 pm
Sadly, DG doesn’t go to the faire with me. He’s that lame. He’s a nerd for NASCAR instead.
That was actually full of ice water or Gatorade. I have to stay hydrated while I’m ogling the goodies on the men in armor, men in kilts, men in tights, men in pantaloons, men in leather, men in armor, men in codpieces, men in armor…
I mean, you know, I have to stay hydrated while I’m learning about history and watching the comedy shows and acrobats. Yes, that’s it.
August 17, 2011 at 4:38 pm
Go alone. I get my garb on, take a basket of Pears with me and nestle one of them in my cleavage. When someone says “Nice Pear.” I let him or her, take a bite. I have gone through baskets upon baskets over the years.
August 17, 2011 at 11:25 pm
I’m all for ogling the menfolk at Faire. Especially the pirates.
Gotta love the boobshelf!
August 17, 2011 at 3:16 pm
That’s pretty epic. I just want to take my face and bury it in there.
I say we make this the tit thread. This ones for the regretsians that like a bit of (a) tit.
August 17, 2011 at 3:18 pm
Beautitful! I kinda really do want her now…
August 17, 2011 at 3:23 pm
I don’t know what I love more, your boobs, your dress, your hair, or your paper flowers!
August 17, 2011 at 3:30 pm
You left out the hat.
August 17, 2011 at 3:52 pm
The dress was made by BoomBoomBbaby boutique, the hat from an etsy seller, the flowers made by family friend.
The boobs, however, were made by two lots of top-heavy busty gene-codes combining in my mothers womb.
August 17, 2011 at 3:29 pm
That’s more than a bit.
August 17, 2011 at 3:44 pm
You look smashing!
August 17, 2011 at 3:44 pm
Great pic overall (not just the boobage)
August 17, 2011 at 3:50 pm
I believe at this point I was squeaking ‘Hun, I just want to point out that we’re fucking married now. Seriously, we got away with it. They think we’re adults!’
August 17, 2011 at 4:06 pm
Oh, impressive!
We should boob-wrestle and hold a pay-per-view event or something.
I do a 365days self-portrait project (you have to be both photographer and subject) and one week, I declared it to be “Cleavage Week”. This is from one of those days.
I was just on my way to run payday errands, hence the fact I was wearing a jacket and in my truck.
August 17, 2011 at 4:15 pm
Nice. Boob-wrestling seems like a good option. It might be tricky to arrange- I’m in the UK and I believe you’re in the US? But should I ever be in the states we’ll have to DO THIS THING.
August 17, 2011 at 4:31 pm
IT WILL BE THE BATTLE OF THE CENTURY!!
Or something.
August 17, 2011 at 4:44 pm
thank you all so much! the boy pics are nice but this… this is magnificent!!!
August 17, 2011 at 4:14 pm
Is that a stuffed shark on the ground in the right of the photo?
August 17, 2011 at 4:17 pm
I wish it was, that would be awesome!
August 17, 2011 at 4:59 pm
I didn’t realize you were in the UK when I asked–I meant a soft toy, not a real shark that had been killed and stuffed!
August 17, 2011 at 5:07 pm
I may be going lesbian with all these knockers! sweet, creamy white, hot fun cakes….
August 17, 2011 at 6:12 pm
I will out-nerd the renfaire/etsy stuff with…cosplay boobs!
August 17, 2011 at 6:16 pm
Oh, sweet baby Jesus on a cracker! Someone get me my swoonin’ couch! ♥
The weekend of the 27th is the Steampunk Invasion of Bristol. They’ve allowed the merchants/cast to partake if they choose. And some very awesome friends are making sure I’m all punked for the occasion. The boobshelf will be corseted up. And yes, I shall share my photos.
August 17, 2011 at 7:56 pm
Your delicious boobs don’t know what direction to follow, but at least your hands are healthy with purell backing you up in your steampunk quest!
August 17, 2011 at 7:59 pm
Holy Mother! There are like a dozen cool things happening here and some of them are boob related
August 17, 2011 at 8:07 pm
I just hope you’re not allergic to whatever that mask is made out of…
August 17, 2011 at 8:26 pm
That corset was just intense for someone of my boob-size. Very worried about ‘wardrobe malfunctions’. Also, everywhere the mask/helmet thing touches my skin is shielded just due to scratching the hell out of my face and scalp.
August 17, 2011 at 6:26 pm
Is this the part of the wedding where you tell him that other men may ogle and lust after your heaving alabaster bosom, but only he may enjoy them?
August 17, 2011 at 7:08 pm
This Lesbian sez “Yes!”
August 17, 2011 at 8:05 pm
I’ve posted this before, but I can’t not display my rackage during the boobshelfery.
August 18, 2011 at 3:27 am
LRRRRRRRR! OF THE PLANET OMICRON PERSEI 8!
Oh, and the boobs are nice, too! I’m kind of craving the bra, though. I’ve migrated to the Sports Bra side of the Force, as the underwire chafes like a . . . chafing thing, but sometimes I yearn for the pretty . . .
August 18, 2011 at 8:19 am
I am not only jealous of your awesome bra but I am jealous of your LRR figure! I keep getting Fry…;_;
September 3, 2011 at 7:56 am
OMG. I ‘know’ you from the Offbeat Bride Tribe!
I amJessica_Iowa!
August 17, 2011 at 3:19 pm
Jealous! Wish I had a boobshelf…
August 17, 2011 at 4:44 pm
small is good too. It means you may have to hold your drink in your hand, but it also means all your clothes fit.
August 17, 2011 at 7:49 pm
I have a boobshelf. Unfortunately, it is often mistaken for a spare tire these days.
August 17, 2011 at 3:43 pm
And they gazed upon the boobshelf and it was good.
August 17, 2011 at 4:08 pm
Oh that’s girlcrushable! Sexy, wantcha to spill out of ye boobshelf, loveliness!!
August 17, 2011 at 4:32 pm
I’ll be packing my ladies into my Renn Fest garb next month……
August 17, 2011 at 6:14 pm
WHICH FAIRE!?
I mean, uh… Carolina? Massachusetts? Maryland? Pennsylvania?
After this weekend, two of my jouster friends head off to MA. Next month, the rest of the jousters get a small break and then start up in North Carolina. The acrobats (Barely Balanced) are going to Maryland for a limited run.
August 17, 2011 at 8:01 pm
Ohio…Do you get The Swordsmen? Guido Crescendo and Dirk Perfect?
We’ve been seeing these guys for 20 yrs! I love their act!
August 18, 2011 at 3:35 am
Yes! Dirk and Guido are here now!
We had the Tortuga Twins for only one weekend though and it was the Gold Team. I’m friends with Coviello on the Blue Team and I was hoping he’d come up here sooner or later, but no luck. (he’s in Charlotte doing a theater gig- un-Tortuga-related).
The jousters I’m friends with are from H-LAT.
August 18, 2011 at 3:35 am
OH! And Ohio… I think that’s where “Sir Gregory” is going. I have so many photos of him this year. Awesome guy.
August 17, 2011 at 4:42 pm
The men chests have reigned too long! (I’m not saying stop, mind you) But its time to break out the Girls! Boobage Week! YAY!
August 17, 2011 at 4:47 pm
I’m all for that.
August 17, 2011 at 6:41 pm
*swoons*
So long, and thanks for all the cleavage.
*thud*
August 17, 2011 at 7:59 pm
I’m afraid I come to this battle unarmed, but may I enter on behalf of my offspring? She is very proud of her boobage.
I made these from my own artistic abilty (with some help from my husband). They’re 29 years old, so they’re VINTAGE. (Rat for decorative purposes only.)
August 17, 2011 at 8:00 pm
Dammit.
August 17, 2011 at 8:10 pm
Is that a beer cozy?
August 17, 2011 at 8:58 pm
No, but it eventually might hold one of those little airline liquor bottles.
August 17, 2011 at 8:07 pm
Wow – I’d be lucky if I could balance one of those little 2 oz cups that you get with cold medicine.
August 17, 2011 at 10:27 pm
Was that in PA?
August 18, 2011 at 4:56 am
If you’re speaking of mine, its Bristol in Kenosha, WI.
If not mine, then yes… is that in PA?
August 17, 2011 at 11:08 pm
Patty, I’ve got a boobshelf, too (gotta love the boobshelf!)
And, oh. my. yes, I totally hear you on ogling all the menfolk at faire. I’m especially fond of pirates. O_o
August 18, 2011 at 4:56 am
I forgot pirates in my list!
Geez, I hope my pirate friends don’t find out!
But yes, ogling the pirates. And they do like to be ogled.
August 18, 2011 at 4:41 am
and that isn’t even boned wench garb – you weren’t kidding!
August 17, 2011 at 3:04 pm
i have to say, the fuck you sampler is just gorgeous…
August 17, 2011 at 3:04 pm
Scotty kind of looks like Ron Swanson, which really just adds to the awesomeness.
August 17, 2011 at 3:04 pm
In the quilt, that is. Not the rest of the time.
August 17, 2011 at 3:25 pm
That was my first thought, too.
August 17, 2011 at 3:04 pm
Anyone else notice the goatse/Apple logo in the Regretsy Awesome Purchase of the Week header? Sneaky.
August 17, 2011 at 3:08 pm
Would buy right away. I’m presuming not at the Apple Store? Was this PSfuckery, or has someone tapped the gap in the Apply/Goatse market?
August 17, 2011 at 3:13 pm
http://www.regretsy.com/2010/02/24/goats-exe-nsfw/
From here, but it seems to have been pulled. So to speak.
August 17, 2011 at 3:18 pm
*rimshot* the gap!
August 17, 2011 at 4:11 pm
Oh yeahhhhhhh… Very sneaky… I missed that first time out!
August 17, 2011 at 3:09 pm
I’m so plaid you snagged Scotty! I suppose if we want one of these we’ll have to take a Picard and get in line. (Or a Q, for you Brits.)
I’d be beaming with pride if I had one of these to hang on my wall.
The amount of talent on Etsy is simply Spocking.
Other “crafters” need a good Kirk in their bums–keep making more amazing fuckery like this, you all!
August 17, 2011 at 3:14 pm
My sweetie and his daughter back in ’96, meeting Jimmy Doohan at Motor City Comic Con.
August 17, 2011 at 6:38 pm
Awesome!
August 17, 2011 at 10:04 pm
He gave the finger to Hitler…
.
At the beginning of the Second World War, Doohan joined the Royal Canadian Artillery. He was commissioned a lieutenant in the 13th Field Artillery Regiment of the 3rd Canadian Infantry Division. Doohan went to England in 1940 for training. His first combat was the invasion of Normandy at Juno Beach on D-Day. Shooting two snipers, Doohan led his men to higher ground through a field of anti-tank mines, where they took defensive positions for the night. Crossing between command posts at 11:30 that night, Doohan was hit by six rounds fired from a Bren gun by a nervous Canadian sentry:[3] four in his leg, one in the chest, and one through his right middle finger. The bullet to his chest was stopped by a silver cigarette case. His right middle finger had to be amputated, something he would conceal during his career as an actor.
August 17, 2011 at 11:45 pm
I met him at the 1976 Star Trek Con in NYC (Hotel Commodore). He was very nice and charming (and he did look quite a lot like the quilt : ) . It was also cute that he flirted with my mother – who was 48 at the time, I was 16.
August 23, 2011 at 10:12 pm
Your sweetie is Salman Rushdie?
August 17, 2011 at 3:14 pm
Scotty’s emblem looks like a wadded up Ferrero Rocher wrapper.
August 17, 2011 at 3:22 pm
Scotty quilt… amazing. And I still have to gape in awe every time I see the Bless This House sampler. That right there is a work of genius.
August 17, 2011 at 3:24 pm
I am impressed that not only does that quilt look exactly like Scotty, but that they used plaid as the background.
Also, I love this new feature!
August 17, 2011 at 3:26 pm
The Scot in me is crying at the use of the word plaid. I hope you don’t likewise call a kilt a skirt!
August 17, 2011 at 3:29 pm
aye, tartan to you all (MacQuarrie here)
August 17, 2011 at 3:34 pm
Whoops! sorry, fabric faux pas. You are so right.
However, did she use a real tartan? I don’t know them on sight, and not all weaves of that kind are real tartan.
August 17, 2011 at 3:25 pm
Aaaand somebody bought the tribbles. Damn.
August 17, 2011 at 3:28 pm
I find that troubling.
August 17, 2011 at 3:49 pm
Well, wherever they went, they’ll be no tribble at all.
August 17, 2011 at 3:25 pm
Scotty’s cowl neck sweater really brings out his neck scars. Was he recently lynched?
August 17, 2011 at 3:26 pm
I think her Star Trek quilts are based on the animated series.
Oh, crap. Now I’ve outed myself.
August 17, 2011 at 3:33 pm
It’s Ok. Shhh. You’re among friends.
August 17, 2011 at 3:48 pm
I just bought a VHS of the animated series at Salvation Army! One of the episodes was a sequel to “Shore Leave”!
August 17, 2011 at 6:28 pm
I saw “Shore Leave,” but it didn’t have any of the Star Trek characters in it. Or much in the way of dialogue. Or clothes.
August 17, 2011 at 7:32 pm
Damned Internet:
Here is the actual image upon which her McCoy quilt is based. I just had to know for sure.
August 17, 2011 at 8:11 pm
I loved the animated series. The animation sucked but some of the stories were very good
August 18, 2011 at 11:17 am
And most of the original actors did the voices!
October 4, 2011 at 3:40 pm
One episode, “The Slaver Weapon”, was based upon the Larry Niven short story “The Soft Weapon”.
August 17, 2011 at 10:05 pm
Rick Perry?
August 17, 2011 at 3:35 pm
April, you best pray that I never find out where you live, because if I do I’m going to steal the “Bless This House” and “Fuck You” samplers. Damn you.
August 17, 2011 at 10:32 pm
All I can say is that the burglar who breaks in to their house had better have eclectic taste.
August 17, 2011 at 3:37 pm
Awww, I feel kinda touched. I sent Hellen the link to the quilts this morning and before I could say “fuckery” she had already purchased Scotty! Maybe when it arrives, we could get a pic of Bronc laying on it like Bert Reynolds on a bear skin rug?
August 17, 2011 at 3:42 pm
OK, let’s start a petition—minimum of *checks number of posts so far* 79 names and Bronc will be compelled to do it. Or at least compelled to suffer our begging.
August 17, 2011 at 3:49 pm
“For every happy tear on Etsy, there’s a sad mustache.”
Sampler please?
August 17, 2011 at 4:15 pm
Thumbs UPPPPPPP!
Totally sampler worthy!!
August 17, 2011 at 3:49 pm
OMFG! Her quilts are making me all tingly in my down below area!
August 17, 2011 at 4:09 pm
Those are some pretty awesome pieces, even though I’m not a Star Trek fan!
August 17, 2011 at 4:21 pm
That’s nice to hear–so often I come across a non-Trekkie* who won’t acknowledge anything positive about Star Trek.
*Disclosure: For years I insisted I was a Trekker, not a Trekkie, which was used as a put-down, but I was recently
told by a reliable source that we have now taken back the term and are proudly Trekkies.
August 17, 2011 at 5:13 pm
Because we finally ate the m’f'in annoying Trekkies we had to disassociate ourselves from. You CAN be fannish w/o kidnapping your children and raising them in a ‘Klingonese only’ home.
August 17, 2011 at 5:26 pm
Your first sentence makes no sense, but your second does.
August 17, 2011 at 4:11 pm
I love all you fat lazy jealous nerds. I’m home.
August 17, 2011 at 4:13 pm
I want the Bird of prey so bad. I like spaceships a little more than anyone aught to like spaceships.
August 17, 2011 at 4:26 pm
But what about Mr. Sulu? Certainly that creation deserves a home too.
August 17, 2011 at 4:42 pm
Last night a few of us (who’d watched “Classic” Trek when it was the only one that existed) were discussing how Roddenberry had brought so much diversity to the show, sometimes without making a point of it. Someone mentioned Sulu and how we knew so little about him, and how now he’s so well known as a gay-rights activist.
Me: “Yeah, I said, all he ever wanted to play with was his sword.”
Friend: “Oh my God! The clues were there all along but we just didn’t see them!”
August 17, 2011 at 5:23 pm
Sulu is NOT ready for the quilting crowd just yet. The one-piece, sparkly purple outfits doing the log dance are far more his style.
August 17, 2011 at 4:27 pm
Wow. Man, that Beam Me Up quilt makes me wish I was the Trekkie my dad tried to turn me into. Those beam-y effects with the metallic thread are almost too clever and awesome for me to stand.
August 17, 2011 at 4:28 pm
Goddammit I need that Fuck You sampler Maya! Don’t make me beg…more than I already am! I’d even take a pattern.
August 17, 2011 at 4:32 pm
Jim Doohan was the grandfather of my best girlfriend in Washington! He was a very sweet man. He would have loved it!
August 18, 2011 at 11:19 am
Very cool!
August 17, 2011 at 4:35 pm
He was the cutest man. Know who else is a darling. Walter Koenig…He danced with me on my 18th birthday at my first Convention. And Patrick Stewart is HOT…I mean…staring at those jeans as he speaks HOT.
August 17, 2011 at 6:36 pm
Koenig always leaves me feeling conflicted.
I mean, awww, Chekov!
But eeek, Bester!
But awww, Chekov!
But eeek, Bester!
But awww, Chekov!…
August 17, 2011 at 8:09 pm
Bester was awesome. He was creepy, but in his mind, he was a hero. Which is awesome.
(My celebrity bragging here: I managed to get invited to dinner with Joe Straczynski and 3 other B5 fangirls when he was at ComicCon in Philly too many years ago. He shared a shrimp appetizer with me. I’m still squeeing about it).
August 17, 2011 at 10:37 pm
We ate at the table next to Lou Ferrigno at the last DragonCon my friends and I attended. He is just as big in person!
August 18, 2011 at 11:20 am
My sweetie who met James Doohan also picked Lou Ferrigno up from the airport that year for Comic Con!
August 17, 2011 at 4:37 pm
I suppose it says a lot about my crude vocabulary, but I sat for 10 minutes wondering why this post was NSFW.
August 17, 2011 at 5:09 pm
I’m still wondering.
August 17, 2011 at 5:27 pm
It depends on where you work.
August 17, 2011 at 7:41 pm
Have you not SEEN the William & Kate Commemorative Wedding Plate?
August 17, 2011 at 8:30 pm
Oh, yeah. Wow – I’ve gotten so used to looking at that, that it doesn’t even register anymore.
August 18, 2011 at 8:53 am
Aaaaaaaand thanks to April’s photos, we can see it in a room!
August 17, 2011 at 5:41 pm
http://www.etsy.com/listing/62735502/if-you-go-down-to-the-woods-todayunique?ref=hp_tt_yt
August 18, 2011 at 3:56 pm
That sucks, but it’s a tabard, not a vest.
August 17, 2011 at 5:55 pm
I see that the club posts have begun to disappear.
I have just one question: Are we able to find them on our own or should we wait for hints? Because, you understand, our behavior and actions for the next couple of minutes will totally depend on the answer.
August 17, 2011 at 7:01 pm
the super sweet sulu quilt is still available!
http://www.etsy.com/listing/73333643/sulu-quilt
August 17, 2011 at 7:18 pm
I would wrap by child in that quilt and read him this book: Star Trek Book of Opposites
August 17, 2011 at 7:47 pm
I wasn’t eaten up with envy until I saw Star Ship Enterprise on the wall behind the artist. http://www.etsy.com/listing/67646876/klingon-flag-quilt?ref=pr_shop Not in her shop. And now Trouble with Tribbles is gone too.
August 17, 2011 at 7:59 pm
Ah, the FU sampler makes me smile & giggle & feel warm inside every time I see it! Love!
August 17, 2011 at 8:10 pm
April, I am very glad to see you enjoy textile arts. Very glad indeed. (this comment will make sense to you soon).
August 18, 2011 at 11:21 am
You’re a quilter! Don’t hide it!
August 17, 2011 at 8:41 pm
Hooray, Cleavage! If Manly Torsos get one day a week on Regretsy, there should be Boobage on another day. Say, every Wednesday, since we have a precedent set this evening?
August 17, 2011 at 8:53 pm
Scotty quilt? Magical. But that transporter one was total awesomesauce.
And Sulu? How cool is that? He taught us in Tennessee to not say ‘gay,’ say Takei!!
August 18, 2011 at 1:46 am
I will never stop requesting the dog caftan. I need it to keep warm in 110* South Texas heat. I still have a nerdgasm over the fact that you bought something I posted. Please, be charitable, I love that ugly piece of crap.
August 18, 2011 at 7:26 am
I can totally understand why Maya isn’t taking orders for the Fuck You Sampler, because frankly I think she’d be overwhelmed. Any idea if she’d be willing to sell the pattern though? Cause I’d totally do my own stitching.
August 18, 2011 at 8:32 am
It looks like the person who made the Scotty quilt gave it all she had, Captain!
August 18, 2011 at 11:43 am
I see less Scotty, more Tom Selleck. Anyone else?
August 18, 2011 at 4:36 pm
I was going to buy it until I realized it was Scotty and not Ron Swanson.
August 25, 2011 at 11:31 am
Some how I read through all of the comments and FINALLY joined to mention the Ron Swanson connection but missed this comment sitting right on top of the comment box. d’oh!
August 23, 2011 at 10:13 pm
Do you keep the obscene plate out when your parents visit, or does Nancy take a break in the drawer for the duration?
August 25, 2011 at 11:30 am
still not entirely sure that’s not actually supposed to be Ron Swanson…
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v642/shakespeares_sister/ronswansonbig.jpg