That’s either a failed attempt at humour, or they actually mean it.
I can’t decide which is worse.
I’m actually more surprised that she’s not selling a “previously loved” vibrator as well. You know the awesome, “vintage” plug-in kind that is sooooo Yummy! *gag*
Seriously WHY DOES SHE OWN A PLUG IN VIBRATOR.
I thought it was inconvenient that my old one had a remote that was attached by a wire. Jesus. “Well, I’m horny but the only outlet is across the room, and I don’t really feel like getting behind the nightstand…”
And I thought D batteries were excessive.
Hitachi Magic Wand. It is supposed to be the sex toy for real women.
As opposed to all those fake women wandering about, I guess.
I am pretty sure that this mid-century, atomic mirror is not compatable with something called a “Hitachi”.
I have one that has to be plugged in, and it’s worth the step or two to the outlet.
The Hitachi Magic Wand isn’t just “the sex toy for real women”, it should be the sex toy for ALL women. Not even kidding.
Maybe one day she had to choose between a Sonicare toothbrush and a new vibe, so she got the sonicare and uses it for both? Who says “3 shades whiter” only applies to your teeth?
Maybe it’s a rechargable one…?
Also, the hitachi only hits one spot, unless you’re willing to shell out another $60 for one of those damn attachments. The osaki hits more spots (so does the rabbit, come to think of it. They’re quite similar). Osakis win, at least in my book.
Some of the supposedly best vibes on the market are either plug in or rechargeable. We should all test them. For science.
“For science” is the best argument ever. If it worked for the Nazis, why can’t it work for us fat, jealous losers? We’re cslled Nazis often enough, anyways.
I can see that if it’s a back massager type vibrator.
*which I can neither confirm or deny having experience with myself*
Why indeed. Quite shocking!
Weeeeell… the Hitatchis are a bit much for me, really, too strong a buzz, just makes my bits numb. Honesly, I like LELO.
If you’ve ever been in the middle of foreplay and had it stop because the batteries ran out, you know the answer to that question.
No kidding. REAL women use one that you ride and kick start like a motorcycle.
Heh…Amazon touts its “non-phallic appearance”. (Plus they show all sorts of attachments; makes that non-phallic appearance sort of extraneous).
Redhead: Do these kick start vibrators also run on diesel engines?
I don’t know why I bother using the rest of the internet. I can get humor and product advice all in one stop.
Her leg probably got tired from using the vintage model with the foot pedal Sometimes it’s better to be a version behind. Let the manufacturers work the kinks out of the new version, then upgrade after the first service pack is released.
A little bit of both, from the way I read it. And that, with the wonderfully displayed knives in the reflection, is the reason they NEED a vibrator.
I’m not sure if it’s a failed attempt at humour, actually. I thought it was pretty funny.
If she is not kidding, however…
Before or after she puts her makeup on?
Nothing makes me randier that looking at my own nose pores under magnification and bright lights. Meow!
you assume she uses this to look at her face…
Was thinking the same. Could be one of those wombyn who wants a magnified view of her bajingo.
Maybe removing unwanted hairs is foreplay to her. I know Nair is my aphrodisiac!
“Nair is My Aphrodisiac” is the name of my lounge/Muzak ZZ Top-deconstruction cover band.
It’s the name of my coleslaw Zydeco band
depends on where the hairs are located.
What you mean a little eyebrow tweeze and zit popping session doesn’t do it for you?
Does it for me!
Sometimes I just get so turned on brushing my hair and curling my eyelashes that I can’t help myself.
I should experiment with trimming my nose hairs sometime.
I’ve been getting my nose hairs waxed. Now I see I’ve been missing a totally hot opportunity.
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
You know what really does it for me? After the zit popping, a good tooth brushing. Oh mean, I’m getting moist just thinking about it. I hope this mirror includes the plug-in vibrator.
“I like how the mirror vibrates when I plug in. Makes me think I’m plunging my hole during an earthquake.”
she uses her vibrator in the kitchen?
Not eating anything at her house.
Not only does she use her vibrator in the kitchen, she apparentally keeps the knives and the bug spray next to the sippy cup.
May I be the first to nominate her for Mother of the Year!
I bet she puts those scissors in her snatch
I was married to a military man and we lived in base housing. One day I woke smelling smoke so I called the civil engineer’s office. They, 2 of them, arrived with 2 base firemen. They thought there might be burning wires so they put this gadget against the walls to check for heat. They needed to open cupboards to do this. so they started opening my cupboards and my purple jelly anatomically correct plaything fell out of the cupboard I forgot I stashed it in one day after washing it. It lands on the kitchen floor with a thud at the feet of 5 men who stared at it and me. I thought I was going to die! 2 yrs later a friend’s husband who worked at the base fire dept told us the firehouse story of the guys who had a dildo drop at their feet at some house….I feigned surprise and laughed at the antics of my neighbors.
ROFL that is just too funny, I think I would die too:-D
This sounds like the start of a porno….
“Oh no, I dropped my dildo. I can’t use it NOW… do you firemen know where I can find a replacement? Also, my dress fell off.”
NO ONE STEAL MY SCRIPT IT’S COPYRIGHTED
Wait…Who has a vibrator that plugs in? I’m kinda afraid.
Well. That teal one with the two side-by-side dildos will haunt my dreams…and not in positive way.
That almost makes me wish I had two vaginas.
Or a double-wide.
That was my second thought, right after “Why would she say that?”
Google “Hitachi Magic Wand.” Your life will never be the same.
After discovering the wonder that is the Hitachi Magic Wand and having my first ever REAL orgasm, I routinely give Magic Wands as presents to people I think are too uptight. It started as a joke, but everyone I’ve given them to so far (probably 7 or 8 women over a few years) has thanked me profusely. ;-P
I hope Betty Dobson gets a percentage of every one sold. If she didn’t introduce them to the world, she’s certainly their best advertisement.
Too jackhammerish for my taste. Which is not to say I didn’t make do with what I could get my hands on as a teenager.
Chronic Glitter Lung—I’ve been told a folded-up towel betwixt you and it moderates the strong vibrations.
you, my dear lady, are the best friend in the world
Okay, I’ve always been partial to the Conair Touch N Tone, but I may have to check out the Hitachi…
@Arelkay, I miss the Conair Sonicare. I bought a couple at a discount store, but they stopped making them completely and they weren’t made for such strenuous and repeated use and I miss it SO much and very sturdy.
Now I am curious and want to try this magic wand. piperk, you should know that I am very uptight. *hint hint*
FYI, this was a reply to Miss Hamster Huey.
Mr. Hitachi is one of my BESTEST friends ever! If you have an Hitachi Magic Wand, invest in a very long extension cord… you won’t regret it.
By the way, the Hitachi Magic Wand is a VIBRATOR, not a dildo. Just thought I should clear that up.
I am SO glad you specified that it was a vibrator. If someone saw it for the first time and thought it was a dildo, they’d faint.
There are attachments…
Mugsy, I did wonder about that. They used one in Bachelor Party (the two hookers at the bridal shower) and I thought, “How the hell would that even fit?!”
@Culinarychiq: I didn’t see the show, but I guess some women would be able to accomodate it (Paris Hilton, maybe? I’m just guessing), but I cringe and shudder in pain just thinking about it.
Compared to the other things on this site I’ve been told to google and to not google (even though you know I will anyway), this was pretty tame.
Sold at Wal-mart. lmao
The mirror or Hitachi Wand? I kind of like this design of mirror (mine is the boring 1980s beige plastic). I’d like to get a mirror similar to this one (I do like the 1950s look), but NOT this particular mirror. I’d feel as if I’d be breaking up a couple and every time I’d plug my hairdryer into the socket, I had have horrible, horrible thoughts.
I’ll stick with my rechargeable jack rabbit Saves on batteries and no extension cord necessary!
But then the charge runs out at entirely the wrong moment….
Eh. . .for me personally, the day they make a toy better than my husband is the day we’re all androids. Also, he scoops the cat box and does the dishes. Try that, Hitachi!
There is a vibrator app for Android.
Hi, Straight Guy here.
Am I missing something or is this guy just doing it wrong?
He’s only doing it right if he’s about to give his lady a piggy back ride.
Giddyup! Yippee ki yi yay, get along little doggie!
I just wanted to say that you have an awesome name Mr. Straight Guy. Can I call you Hidden?
I was thinking the same thing.
But then I thought, aren’t those big “magic wand” style things plug-in?
Yes. Yes they are. *sideways glance*
Saves on batteries.
Costco sells batteries. I also have a friend who routinely gives me batteries in bulk for my birthday and/or Christmas.
My, uh, “friend” invested in a set of rechargeable batteries and is very happy with them.
Two sets of rechargeable batteries is a much better investment!
I have USB rechargeable batteries so I don’t even have to leave the computer.
Mizufusion, you are brilliant!
probably a “mid-century / atomic age” model as well.
Oh, you poor sheltered dear!
Well, when you put it that way… SOLD!
Um, are the measurements listed for the mirror or the vibrator?
Beat me to it! That’s what I was gonna say!
“Measures: 13″ tall x 11″ wide & 2″ thick.”
Anyone who can take an 11″ WIDE vibrator is quite the woman!
The vibrator comment makes me think this chick could be fun, but the menacing knives in the reflection set off my internal “crazy bitch” alarms.
That was my first thought when I saw the photo–why is she showing the sharp knives? Then I read the copy and got scared.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again:
If you’re afraid to sleep next to her, the sex is invariably fantastic.
I noticed the mirror AFTER I was done staring at the junk all over her kitchen counter.
And I don’t think I want to use an object that someone used to plug their vibrator into.
I hope she wiped it down.
I was looking at the junk and expecting to see someone’s junk.
I’m kinda finding this awesomely hilarious. Which makes me feel dirty and like a need a shower.
Also, it’s a really ugly mirror.
Indeed, it looks like something the 1980s barfed up.
corroborating evidence provided by the hideous glass-paned kitchen cabinets.
I can attest that it is indeed something that was barfed up by the 80′s. I will shamefully admit that I had one.
It ended up being used for the Barbie disco.
Sounds like a great use for it! I was personally wondering when the 80′s became “midcentury”.
So does this listing:
I grew up with the goose/duck thing and the rooster on my mom’s kitchen wall – she got them in the mid-80s at Hills department store for about $7 each. They’re somewhere in a box in her basement now. I should go dig them out, slap them onto some wood and sell them for a huge profit.
Or, you know, throw them towards the closest goodwill because they’re cheap and tacky and I don’t want to be bothered with them.
I had that same pig head, bought on clearance at a discount (but not second-hand) store in the mid ’90′s.
My mom had one of these in the 80′s. I loved playing with it–switching the light settings and flipping the mirror around.
So, thank you, Etsy, for ruining another happy childhood memory.
It’s nice if you like that aesthetic. Evidently someone does.
Someone really likes it.
She is also selling a blurrily photgraphed ‘uranium’ vase (do I want something made from uranium?)
And this. You need to read the insane description for the best effect.
Apparently you’ll run into a burning building to save it.
The building wil probably be burning cause of the mirror.
My parents collect that art glass stuff and have a few pieces of that kind of glass. It’s not radioactive enough to be dangerous, just enough to glow under a black light.
As for the ashtray, the blonde’s eyes look like they’re bleeding. Kind of like how mine are bleeding after looking at it.
I’m reading a novel about Marilyn Monroe’s death and I really didn’t need to see a MMish ashtray with bloodied eyes. Then again, I could be reading the latest Preston & Chlld novel. I don’t need to see this ashtray!
and I love how she uses the term “radiates” in her description of said uranium vase.
She has a lovely Carnival Glass dish that gets the barest minimum of details. Guess she didn’t find it sexually enticing or something a man would save from a burning building. http://www.etsy.com/listing/53133646/carnival-glass-bowl-grapes-vine?ga_search_query=carnival&ga_search_type=user_shop_ttt_id_5964275
Neither of the pieces of vaseline glass she lists were actually made by Fenton. They’re much older–made by Northwood, around 1890. I love that stuff, but I’m still not gonna pay $65 for either.
This kind of makes me want to buy some uranium glass objects. Ones that have not bore witness to somebody masturbating.
Though I’m sure if they were still making uranium glass, people would be making glass dildos out of it.
What? Glass dildos are pretty…
At least we can’t see her tits in the reflection.
That might help with the sale.
. . .or worse.
Etsy, recently ranked #2 in sales of Products that Other People Have Used to Masturbate. Craigslist, watch your back!
Or that people want you to use to masturbate. Don’t forget all the “primitive” clay dildos.
Given the number of things I’ve seen reflected in posts like these and the information we’re provided about the history of this mirror, I’m claiming the post a win.
Hah, agreed. Though I do wonder how she looked at the photo and though “nah, that reflection won’t be too distracting.”
I just want to know what’s in the spray bottle. My bet’s on flea killer.
Damn, everybody’s beating me to the clever comments. I was gonna say that one too! I love you guys! I really thought the flea killer was the TMI at first.
And to think I expected reflectoporn.
I’m actually disappointed. Or relieved.
Does the seller happen to be related to Jame Gumb?
Problem? I don’t see a problem.
And the Hitachi Magic Wand makes a great Christmas present.
I was half expecting to see a naked reflection in the mirror, like some of the people on eBay do. But not like ebay, because eBay contains manufactured stuff, and etsy is all handmade.
Someone needs to photoshop a vag necklace in there.
I got ahead of myself here. I immediately scanned the mirror looking for a reflection of a naked person or something gross before reading the description. Etsy surprises yet again!
I was probably happier thinking that the bottle of cleaning agent was the TMI, and imagining what sorts of TMI things the seller was cleaning up on their counter. Then, as always, I read the description and remembered that truth is stranger than fiction :/
I inspected the counter for the TMI too, then low and behold it was the unsolicited peek into the seller’s self-voyeurism (and sex toy preference).
Her name wouldn’t be Narcissa, would it?
My ex mother in law had one of those mirrors…
Hopefully the mirror itself is clean.
They call that “patina”
Just think of all the money there would be to make on Etsy with all those keyboards out there that have been “antiqued by hand”.
Well, at least we know there’s one good thing about ‘vintage’ shops on Etsy. You don’t get that kind of information at garage sales.
Oh, that WOULD be awkward, to have that kind of information relayed in person.
If garage sales were that creepy, there would have been a reality show about them by now. “Brave Salers”!
My wife loves it when I whisper those three words she longs to hear: “Hitachi Magic Wand.”
If you are ever feeling a little evil, you can clip a luggage-size padlock through the hole of one of the plug prongs.
I am proud to say that although I grew up in the 50′s and 60′s I never had nor ever wanted one of these things.
I found her reflection…
Felicia needs neither your mirror nor your vibrator!
Hey now, come on. She’s just saying what we were all thinking of doing with it.
Okay, you have an empty pill bottle, some cleaner, and a block of knives on the counter. Anyone see a crime in progress here?
The pill bottle looks rather large too…
They’re for sovenirs of the crime samples.
I thought it was one of those urine sample bottles and figured that was the TMI before reading the description.
Where do you get a fancy plug in vibrator? Mine is gas powered.
Mine has a crank and takes two people to operate it.
Victorian vibrators were crank-powered, I believe. They were also used as medical equipment.
Medicinal use makes sense because I know that after I use mine, I feel WAY better.
“Mine has a crank and takes two people to operate it.”
Isn’t that just sex?
Oh sorry, let me clarify: “…and takes two people, besides me, to operate”
It’s all about the wind-power, baby. March will be your favorite month once you go with the Careless Whisper model vibrator.
IN LIKE A LION, OUT LIKE A LAMB!
Mine is steam-powered. Great in the winter, but the gears can be a little ouchy.
Princess, some people like “a little ouchy.” Some people like a LOT ouchy.
This one’s steam-powered.
Wait, you need welding gloves to handle that thing? I think my vag just clenched!
Oh how steampunk dear!!
Plug in? Pfffft, Amateur. Everyone knows the serious aficionado uses a kick-start model.
She wants $25 for something I could pick up at the Goodwill for $2. Plus at Goodwill I don’t have to hear the backstory of her diddling her gooch in this mirror.
Special, special cupcake.
I have an image of her as a hornier, female Christian Bale in American Psycho.
Remember playing the Bloody Mary game at slumber parties as a kid? I’m more scared of what ghostly apparition would show up on this. And what would one chant? Hairy coochie?
Now the description makes perfect sense…
I…I think I love you…
Oh, she didn’t say it was a Magic Mirror….
You are an inspired genius.
now show us the close up when you flip the mirror
God bless you.
Ladies, start your engines!
Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the sexiest of them all?
Mirror, mirror, on the table, bring to me a man who’s able…
My grandmother had one of those mirrors. She never mentioned plugging anything in other than a curling iron. At least I think it was a curling iron…
This reads like Craigslist but is priced like Etsy, personally I’d like to see more of these. She’s just following Etsy instructions to create a backstory for her wares. Because, honestly, who would want to buy this plastic piece of crap for $25 unless they had proof that it played accomplice to a dirty, dirty liaison.
I also enjoy that she helpfully labeled the materials as “stuff,” because, well, I wasn’t sure what to call it.
i LOVED how there was no comment from the regretsy side on this one
My grandmother had that mirror too. I was tempted to grab this listing’s mirror until I read the description.
On the other hand, no one knows what happened to that mirror after my grandmother’s passing. For all we know, somewhere my grandmother is snickering.
…wait…what?…the knives on the kitchen counter and stove?
SHE MASTURBATES IN THE KITCHEN WITH THE HOT OVEN ON?????
Okay, finally something non-squicky from Regretsy for me to Google!
According to drugstore.com, the HMW’s biggest pro is its “power output” and its biggest con is “noisy.”
Truth. It sounds like the jackhammer it is.
I feel like we’ve just found the loneliest person on Etsy.
From what I’ve read about the raw power of Hitachi Magic Wands on this thread, I think plugging one into that would cause that mirror to short-curcuit and/or explode in a magnificent display of sparks.
Also upon googling “Hitachi Magic Wand” I have found that my mom had one when I was little, which she called a “back massager”. She also had a lighted mirror from the 80s. I think I’m going to go throw up now.
I should clarify: My mom was not pictured with one in google image search (thank god). I just recognized it as the “back massager” that lived in her bottom dresser drawer.
that was NOT for her back. Trust me.
I have about four “back massagers” in my bottom drawer. They’re great for when my um…back…is…uh hurting a bit?.
My mom had one too. I walked in on her using it once, and it scarred me so badly I couldn’t have an orgasm for 4 years.
Nothin’ says lovin like cummin’ near the oven.
I just CANNOT get over the fact that my grandmother used to have larger more luxe version of this, so whenever I see one I think of her. And now someone said vibrator. I just died a lot inside. A lot.
And now Matt knows the real reason for grandma’s cheerful personality.
Or at least her high electric bill. Ba Dum Ch.
I couldn’t resist. It’s my own grandmother and I couldn’t resist making that joke… I really am going to burn in hell with the rest of you, aren’t I?
If you’re lucky, yes. Bring some extra cocktail glasses. We’re working on the Flaming Regretsy. Much experimentation is required.
Yes, yes you are. Have a cookie!
A devil’s-food cookie of course.
Was I the only one that noticed the sippy cup (sans top) and the bottle of industrial cleaner on the counter in the mirror’s reflection?
I only saw the top of the post at first. “Ooh, cool,” I thought, “Mom had one like this…” Then I began to scroll down… NO, avert your eyes, it is a highlighted sentence. Hellen always hits you with the yellow right when it hurts. I still dared to read it… Argh! I shouldn’t have. Now all good feelings are lost. I began to scroll down to see the reactions. I finally was able to calm down when I saw beloved Mike… Towel Mike. Always to the rescue.
Better to hit us where it hurts with the yellow than the white arrow, right?
I wonder if she added that after taking the description-writing workshop Etsy offered. It’s all about telling a quirky little story about yourself, no?
I think this is more of a “yiffy little story”…
If simply seeing a reflection of herself makes her randy using public washrooms could be a difficulty.
There’s also a reason she’s been banned from every department store in the area.
And her parakeet gets queasy when she comes near his cage and see his little mirror. Nothing is sacred with this seller.
Call me a prude, but I’ve never used a vibrator, never will. That’s what men are for, right?
Yes, sweetie, lots of men use vibrators; they’re gay.
Matt, are the guys still gay when they use them on their female partners–or were you being facetious?
How is pleasing yourself privately more prudish than having sex with another person?
I think this is only the second time I’ve ever checked “thumbs down.” Normally I like to operate under “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all,” or make a joke or something, but what you say here is so wrong I feel compelled. Mariko, you are missing out, and I am so sorry.
Er, people, I think she was joking (or attempting to), “That’s what men are for” and all.
Thats just sad. I’m a feminist. I’m not relying on some dude to take me to O town. If i want to go to O town right now i’m going to O town.
if I might offer a bit of history: the modern ‘vibrator’ was invented as a way to treat ‘female hysteria’ without requiring so much hands-on effort by the therapist. for more read “The Technology of Orgasm” available at Amazon.
note especially the “Cadillac of vibrators, the Chattanooga”, a floor-mounted model from 1904. a distinct improvement over foot-pedal powered models.
also, there was published in the 1920s, with several printings, a pamphlet instructing ladies on how to take advantage of the vibrations experienced while riding the omnibus.
Wow, I learned so much! Thanks loads!
A 1918 Sears catalog described vibrators as an “aid that every woman appreciates.” damn right. I’d shop at sears a lot more if they still carried this kind of stuff.
I guess I am just surprised that she (?) gave the dimensions for her/his vibrator
possibly vibrators have followed the same path as computers? the early ones were huge….?
Oh, they still make huge ones.
thundercloud extra large vibrator
I am realistically going to have to buy a Hitachi after reading all these glowing reviews.
Yes. Yes, you should.
hitachi magic wand
And some attachments.
One of the Amazon reviewers uses it both “in the bedroom” and as a foot massager!
This product description fulfills the mtraub Etsy method which is to make up a story based on something as long as one has nothing to do with the other. Reads like a Front Page favorite to me!
i must own this mirror. I DONT EVEN CARE
I’ve learned more about vibrators from this post than from ANYTHING else! Thanks Regretsy, I now have to figure out how to get a HMW without scaring my college roommate!
Damn, girl; I’m glad you weren’t selling a blender.
I own that same mirror, but the fact that this one was used to make self love and has had a plugged in vibrator attached to it MIGHT make it worth the buy. I mean it’s really one of a kind now.
If something is going up your chuff then surely it shouldn’t be connected to the mains.
I feel I really must let you ladies know about a new offering. I have no connection with the company; this is not an endorsement.
Crave is offering the Duet. a personal vibrator that is water-proof to 10 feet, silent, battery-powered and USB-rechargeable, and includes up to 16GB of flash memory. available in three colors.
I BOUGHT IT!!! Got it in the mail, unfortunately, the seller didn’t throw in a complimentary plug in vibrator… It’s actually really nice though, goes perfect with my vintage candy pink vanity dresser.
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