Brief Update
You may recall a post from last November, showcasing the “Candyman Heartbreak Clown Brief Outfit” for the man in your life.
See the original post (plus a rearview) here
From Shop His Trunks.com:
Heartbreak Clown Thong Outfit
$15.00“Candyman’s Heartbreak Clown Costume features a pair of underwear that is best described as a cross between a cheeky brief and a thong. The back of the underwear features more material than is typically associated with a thong, but not enough to be a brief. Features suspenders and a large bow tie to go along with the clown face motif featured on the pouch of the brief.”
AND THEN THIS HAPPENED
From: Dave
Date: Mon, Aug 8, 2011 at 3:11 AM
Subject: For the gallery
It wasn’t Etsy, I know. But it was an instant classic, and I had to own it.
Since I’ve became one with my new skin, my life has begun anew. In His Squeaky Red Nose, all answers are revealed.The Clown inhabits me, and acts through my groin.
SPECIAL UPDATE FOR REGRETSY READERS: Justin, the hanging brain of Shop His Trunks, was so pleased with your response to this story, that he has created a special discount coupon just for you! Just enter REGRETSY at checkout, and you’ll receive 20% off any K’Mando product.
This is not a sponsored post. I gain nothing from this, except the hope that someday you may also get as drunk as Dave, and decide to send me a picture like this.
August 9, 2011 at 9:47 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
August 9, 2011 at 9:50 am
The clown thing or the guy wearing it?
Because I’d give anything to unsee the clown.
August 9, 2011 at 9:55 am
Yeah my vote is lose the clown and then take more pictures.
August 9, 2011 at 11:14 am
There is a clown in these pictures? I didn’t notice.
*Stares at abs with glazed eyes. Drools a bit.*
August 9, 2011 at 12:49 pm
There are abs in these pictures? I didn’t notice.
*Stares at 5 o’clock shadow with glazed eyes. Drools a bit.*
August 30, 2011 at 7:30 am
*wipes own drool with towel. passes towel on.*
August 9, 2011 at 1:25 pm
I’d give anything to unsee the first comment.
August 9, 2011 at 11:44 am
That’s very un-Regretsy of you.
August 9, 2011 at 5:52 pm
Why you gotta be so un-Regretsy?
August 9, 2011 at 9:48 am
Two mostly naked men in two days? Drool!
August 9, 2011 at 9:49 am
But I don’t want the underwear, I just want the models.
August 9, 2011 at 10:11 am
I’d like to order one Dave please. The first guy is pretty hot, but I like my men with a little pudge.
August 9, 2011 at 10:13 am
The first guy looks straight out of a Gillette commercial. And I like it.
August 9, 2011 at 11:16 am
I think the 1st model can pass for a better looking Dane Cook, but just my opinion. And you need to retake the photo with the clown undies on
August 9, 2011 at 1:29 pm
I’ll take Handsome Dave! Just look at how short he trims his nails…he knows how to handle a woman!
I think I need to go back and read the first comment. It’s getting hot in herre…
August 9, 2011 at 5:54 pm
@DarkPChan: don’t you mean the photo needs to be retaken with the clown undies off?
August 9, 2011 at 2:24 pm
Me too. As far as I’m concerned, Dave gets bonus points for sharing this with us fat, jealous losers. You ROCK the clown, Dave!!
August 9, 2011 at 9:49 am
This singularily undid 20 years of clown phobia, and replaced it with nothing but arousal
August 9, 2011 at 9:52 am
sweet sexy jesus, same here. 30 years of terror undone.
August 9, 2011 at 10:45 am
I third that! Never been afraid of clowns, but they always creeped me out. Now…now, I just want something to slowly creep out of that clown face and say “Hi, Mugsy Doodle, let’s go play!!” And my mama raised me to be a polite girl and I just can’t say no to such a nice invitation.
August 10, 2011 at 12:50 am
You’re in a terrible fix.
August 9, 2011 at 1:45 pm
They still creep me out – but I now just want to rip their faces off to see if there’s anything fun underneath…
August 9, 2011 at 4:14 pm
As someone who has stretch marks around his lips, I’ve never been frightened of peen until now.
August 9, 2011 at 7:46 pm
Can’t sleep, I have to stay up so clown will eat me.
August 9, 2011 at 9:49 am
Everybody loves a clown.
August 9, 2011 at 4:34 pm
August 12, 2011 at 2:04 pm
Gotta love Randy!
August 9, 2011 at 9:49 am
I think I will have to blame this one on Towel Mike. We used to never see pictures like this until he started sending in his tantalizing tidbits.
August 9, 2011 at 9:55 am
Blame or thank?
August 9, 2011 at 1:31 pm
Get on our knees and bow down seems more appropriate…Okay…just get on our knees then.
August 9, 2011 at 9:56 am
I’m not sure ‘blame’ is the right word…
August 9, 2011 at 9:56 am
Blame? Or thank?
I think you meant THANK Towel Mike.
Thank you, Mike.
August 9, 2011 at 10:01 am
Mike is a pioneer and deserves to be celebrated as such. He has his own day – the next logical step is to stage a parade in his honor, with clowns such as Dave.
August 9, 2011 at 1:46 pm
Mike is THE one – and these are his apostles….
August 9, 2011 at 10:02 am
I think the man deserves a year’s worth of gift baskets.
August 9, 2011 at 1:22 pm
Towel Mike, Clown Dave… We obviously need to start a Regretsy male “swimsuit” calendar featuring scantily clad hot guys. The perfect Christmas gift!
August 9, 2011 at 2:27 pm
Which of course should include Dror in his Disney undies.
August 9, 2011 at 3:53 pm
Don’t forget ACE with his gi and belt. *swoon*
August 9, 2011 at 5:32 pm
And don’t forget brave fellow Regretsian Dallitude. Rawr.
August 9, 2011 at 9:49 am
So, Dave… is there any other underwear you might like to model for us? I only ask because I’m a pervert and you got a purty mouth on you.
August 9, 2011 at 9:52 am
I’ll jus be back here wid the banjo. Ah like fuzzy.
August 9, 2011 at 1:32 pm
Just because your a pervert, doesn’t mean you stand alone around here.
August 9, 2011 at 9:50 am
Helen, you are a lucky, lucky woman. If only I’d wake up one day with a photo of a half naked handsome man in my email and not spam ads for Viagra, or investing in Kenya businesses….sigh.
August 9, 2011 at 9:50 am
Justin, you are the king of clowntown my friend. Rawwwr!
August 9, 2011 at 9:50 am
For once a clown that doesn’t make me cry!
August 9, 2011 at 9:50 am
THIS is AWESOME! Normally I’m terrified of clowns, but I know what’s underneath that red nose… I could grow to love clowns if they all looked like this.
August 9, 2011 at 9:52 am
I have the same fear – but being surrounded by a few clowns like this may be just the cure.
August 9, 2011 at 9:52 am
Ditto that. Let’s get Mike one, and any other Regretsy menfolk that feel so inclined, and have a clown party. You know, so we can get over our fears or something.
August 9, 2011 at 9:54 am
I’d sign up for that therapy.
August 9, 2011 at 10:44 am
I’m not scared of clowns but I’ll sign up too!!!
August 9, 2011 at 11:30 am
I would totally fake a phobia to be a part of that delicious fuckery……. : 3
August 9, 2011 at 11:57 am
I’m, um, terrified of all nearly naked hotties…so the more exposure I get, the faster I’ll be cured, right?
August 9, 2011 at 12:58 pm
If you saw me wearing this you be traumatized for life. Having said that, Dave, you sir have more balls than all the guys I know combined. I think this is the first time I have laughed my ass off at the image of a clown. I so want to buy you a beer. Enjoy the love of the drooling Regretsy Babes you lucky bastard.
August 9, 2011 at 1:48 pm
@carter – um, some of us? Like their men cuddly. I’m an equal opportunity perv….I’ll lust after many types of men….
August 9, 2011 at 5:40 pm
@carter, try us
being a fan of Regretsy is pretty damn sexy already.
August 9, 2011 at 1:34 pm
Yeah, personally, I’d like to see his “ass clown” pose, erm, rearview pose.
August 9, 2011 at 9:50 am
OH MY GOD. Where have all of these hotties been hiding?!?
August 9, 2011 at 9:50 am
Creepy + sexy = Crexy?
August 9, 2011 at 9:52 am
Or seepy, but that would be just the worst.
August 9, 2011 at 10:47 am
Give it a little time, Dinosaurland and I think that Dave’s clown soon will be getting a little weepy, then seepy…
August 9, 2011 at 9:50 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
August 9, 2011 at 10:15 am
Great! More for us!
August 9, 2011 at 9:50 am
One of the few situations in which you WANT a big nose . . .
August 9, 2011 at 10:19 am
Not at all on topic but: RUSH! \m/
August 9, 2011 at 10:36 am
I second that \m/
We female Rush fans are quite a rare breed.
August 9, 2011 at 11:11 am
On the plus side, it makes it VERY easy to score dates at concerts . . . at least, if you go for the sort of nerdy, computer gaming, AD&D-playing types you’ll find at a Rush concert. Geeks are HOT.
August 9, 2011 at 11:18 am
Amen, sister! \m/
August 9, 2011 at 11:22 am
Been loving the geek boys ever since they were the A/V nerds in high school!
August 9, 2011 at 3:31 pm
Shoot. Is that where they’ve all been? I’d've raided my brother’s Rush collection if I’d known.
August 9, 2011 at 5:57 pm
OK I don’t get RUSH…. Musically they are amazing but the lyrics and vocals are annoying
August 9, 2011 at 6:24 pm
Its true! And luckily, that is my type of guy.
Plus… Rush concerts are the only place where the mens bathroom has a long line and the womens bathroom is empty.
Very convenient.
August 10, 2011 at 10:41 am
Elysapeth – as an objective person, I can totally understand how Geddy Lee’s voice might be considered “annoying.” It’s definitely an acquired taste, and I’ll admit that I was a bit put off by it in the very beginning. But you can’t talk smack about Neil’s writing ability. The man is a genius at crafting thoughtful, intelligent and profound lyrics. Rush isn’t referred to as the “Thinking Man’s Band” for nothing.
August 9, 2011 at 1:14 pm
And the Mikes in plain white towelsMust be the ones who start
To mould a new Club Fuckery
Closer to our hearts
Closer to our hearts
The lakeside and the boxers
Expanded on his art
Inspiring creativity
In Regretsy's hearts
Yes, in Regretsy's hearts
Sidekick Ace and Clown Dave
Each has done his part
To drag the group mentality
Down to gutter thoughts
Yes, down to gutter thoughts
Dancing Dror's gone viral
And Bronc is not forgot
Oh, you men of Regretsy
Send us your snapshot
Send us your snapshot
Regretsy men are hot!
Yeah, closer to the heart
Closer to the heart...
August 9, 2011 at 1:24 pm
That was pretty amazing
and you have WAY too much time on your hands
August 9, 2011 at 1:54 pm
WOW. I think I just came.
August 9, 2011 at 2:13 pm
Thanks!
G Val, it took maybe 15 minutes. Filk is my evil superpower. Personally, I suspect the GM’s thumb was covering the “dis” when I picked from the 10-point advantage table.
August 9, 2011 at 4:26 pm
You’re amazing and I bow to your greatness.
August 9, 2011 at 6:22 pm
That.. that was genius and just made my night. Except I was laughing so hard that now the cat is looking at me weird.
August 9, 2011 at 6:37 pm
You can choose from Towel Mike, who will not show his face,
Or Dave in his clown underpants, or judo master Ace,
You can choose from phantom fears and butthurt that can kill,
I will chose the path that’s clear…
Not enough tequila. A little help here?
August 9, 2011 at 7:45 pm
...You can call a whambulance, demand we stop at ounceWe've replaced our Temperance; we welcome your flounce!</code
August 9, 2011 at 9:51 am
Yay Dave! May the clown treat you kindly. You’re real cute.
August 9, 2011 at 9:51 am
Perhaps I should buy this for the hubs. It reminds me of his bull thong that sings “Old McDonald Had A Farm.”
Can we get a picture of Mike and Ace wearing this?
August 9, 2011 at 9:55 am
The same one?
August 9, 2011 at 9:56 am
Yes. They have to share.
August 9, 2011 at 10:14 am
They have to shar and OOPS I SHRUNK IT IN THE WASH
August 9, 2011 at 6:38 pm
GUESS WHAT I FOUND HIS MISSING CORK AND WHISTLE
August 9, 2011 at 9:51 am
I would wear this. Seriously. But at best he would look like he was a very worried clown, and at worst, it would look like what was left of a clown after an unfortunate choice of seating at a sumo match.
August 9, 2011 at 9:59 am
Awwww, but worried clowns are kind of adorable, right?
August 9, 2011 at 9:51 am
Looks like the hubster may have a few additions to his wardrobe very soon!
August 9, 2011 at 9:51 am
What? No red wig?
August 9, 2011 at 11:03 am
Gotta remove the undies to see the “wig” in this situation. Does this mean there will be a market for curly red clown merkins?
August 9, 2011 at 1:26 pm
I am now going to be laughing FOREVER at the phrase “curly red clown merkins”
August 9, 2011 at 1:27 pm
I hope not. If that’s the case, Carrot Top may actually have a use in our society.
August 9, 2011 at 9:53 am
mmm, he has a nice amount of chest hair. I dislike hairless men.
August 9, 2011 at 9:53 am
Ya know, Dave is hairier, doughier and whiter than I like ‘em, but he looks plush & comfortable as hell, like a boyfriend pillow. I wanna take a nap on him.
August 9, 2011 at 9:57 am
I think he’s perfect. Plus anyone who puts on clown underwear and submits it for the internet’s amusement and/or arousal is a God damn hero in my book.
August 9, 2011 at 10:03 am
I agree. I kind of want to rub my face all over his tummy and – never mind.
August 9, 2011 at 6:02 pm
Just his tummy?
August 9, 2011 at 10:04 am
A-fucking-men
August 9, 2011 at 10:06 am
I also see a little resemblance to the young Elvis in his face. Is it just me?
August 9, 2011 at 10:12 am
@FuzzyUnderpants Elvis or Marilyn Monroe? Or both…
August 9, 2011 at 10:17 am
More like a-f*cking-MAN!
August 9, 2011 at 10:40 am
Agreed, Helen. And, believe me, we admire Dave’s cojones.
August 9, 2011 at 11:09 am
Some of us would like to personally thank the cojones.
August 9, 2011 at 1:39 pm
TOTALLY.
August 9, 2011 at 1:51 pm
Hell, he looks like my husband did when he was thin….I’ll take him!!!
August 9, 2011 at 9:59 am
Dave looks like he is built kind of like my fiance, and it may just be how much I love him but there is nothing quite like being able to use my fiance as a nice comfy pillow. He may kill me if he reads this because he has been so proud of his weight loss, but I do not mind a little dougheyness
The chest hair also gives me something to yank on when he annoys me.
August 9, 2011 at 10:11 am
Dave’s built for endurance and piggy-back rides.
August 9, 2011 at 11:34 am
You know, that conjured up the cutest picture of Dave giving piggyback rides to his probably-yet-to-be-born kidlets…you know, the ones he’ll have with the lady he’ll win wearing those clown undies. I do so love a happy ending…
August 9, 2011 at 1:42 pm
Clown Dave is not doughy, IMO, not at all. He is fucking A HOT!
August 9, 2011 at 4:28 pm
He looks like my first son’s father did when we were young – this is how a man should be built. Scrumpdillishush… I thought I didn’t miss being single but I remember running my fingers through Bruce’s chest hairs and… ::sobs a little::
Dave is all right by me!
August 9, 2011 at 9:55 am
Dear Towel Mike…
Please, don’t be upset.You have many horny Regretsy bitches drooling for you. Until recently, I was one of them. You made Mondays for me! You in almost all your glory.
However, I have found another semi naked hunk o’hotness. His name is Dave…and he’s…well…*fuzzy*!!!
You’ll always be in my heart, Mike.
But this girl loves her men HAIRY.
Doodles
xxx
August 9, 2011 at 9:56 am
Also, Towel Mike *needs* a K’Mando…
August 9, 2011 at 10:04 am
The K’Mando intrigues me, but there is so much goodness over there. I’m liking the jock straps very much.
August 9, 2011 at 10:27 am
K’Mando is like a dick mitten. In a good way.
August 9, 2011 at 12:40 pm
@Trousers, I’m really jealous that your little character guy has a monocle, and a uni brow. Mine just winks.
August 9, 2011 at 1:07 pm
That’s not my little character guy, it’s my grad photo.
Yours looks like it was just poked in the eye.
August 9, 2011 at 1:23 pm
Agreed. The monocle is perfect for the Eliot reference, too.
August 9, 2011 at 11:41 am
K’Mando – 20 percent off.
Sigh, might get it only 20 percent full.
August 9, 2011 at 10:02 am
Agreed. Towel Mike will always be our first, and I do love him.
I don’t find Dave “doughy” as much as “not as defined”. And hair — droooool!
August 9, 2011 at 10:13 am
There’s also the fact that I simply do not work out any where near as much as I’d need to in order to feel worthy of TM’s sheer chiselled glory. Dave’s physique, however…that suggests beer and lovin’…
count me in!
August 9, 2011 at 1:53 pm
THANK YOU!!! I don’t want to feel inferior. Or deal with feeling fat. So yeah….I can drool over Mike, but I could actually orgasm with Dave.
August 9, 2011 at 10:26 am
You are not alone. I was seriously disappointed when Mike shaved himself.
August 9, 2011 at 11:17 am
I love swimmers’ tapered bodies, so I am still Loyal to Mike.
Besides, I like a man who’s not afraid to shave every so often; at least he would know what the ladies go through.
Yay for Real Men (not underwear models, although Mike is darn close)!
August 9, 2011 at 1:26 pm
But man-chest-stubble is more annoying than scratchy female legs. We can just put on stockings and call it a feature.
Swimmer bods are nice to look at, but I think Dave (and Dror) look more fun for actual romping.
Not that I’d turn down Mike. That would be blasphemous.
August 9, 2011 at 9:55 am
I love this man, for his courage alone.
August 9, 2011 at 9:55 am
Sunday, I got licked by a jouster.
Monday, Ace and his shirtless-ness.
Tuesday, the disabled guy agreed to a CF4L photo (or two)…
AND NOW THIS!
I may die today. And I would die happy.
August 9, 2011 at 9:57 am
Your Sunday sounds nerd-gasmically delicious, Patty.
August 9, 2011 at 10:04 am
I can’t even describe it, it was that wonderful.
After he licked my cheek for the photo (my silly 365-days-self-portrait thing) I said, “I have jouster’s spit on me!”
He said, “I can do more!” and grabbed me, embraced me long enough to rub his sweaty, dirty cheek on mine. And he got some of his death blood on my boobshelf.
It.
Was.
GLORIOUS!
August 9, 2011 at 10:09 am
Aaaah!
*fans self*
A jousting knight taking one in his strong arms and declaring “I can do more!” ?!?
*melts*
August 9, 2011 at 10:12 am
Gotta love the Ren Fest.
August 9, 2011 at 11:26 am
I do have the advantage of being friends with most of the jousters. But the one who licked me- this is the first year I’ve met him.
And he’s just as awesome as the others. Of which I had no doubt. He even dropped his character voice during our first conversation because the “head squire” told him: “She’s cool…” HA!
August 9, 2011 at 4:05 pm
Through a link of a link, I saw this jouster. I would not toss him out of bed on any night.
August 9, 2011 at 5:59 pm
incrustacean, he is indeed delicious looking…
August 9, 2011 at 11:39 am
the disabled guys CF4L picture is close to the end of the comments in last nights members only post.
Go see it and like it, man is adorable and deserves some lovin’!
August 9, 2011 at 12:12 pm
I also posted it in the “CF4L submissions” thread on the forums.
Bottom of Page Six
August 9, 2011 at 3:54 pm
He’s just fabulous, Patty!! Big grin from me – you lucky woman you!
August 9, 2011 at 7:56 pm
Patty, he’s adorable! You are a very lucky woman.
August 9, 2011 at 1:25 pm
Oh god, I know jousters. Which Faire?
August 9, 2011 at 9:55 am
After 10 minutes I finally realized he has really blue eyes.
August 9, 2011 at 10:21 am
He has EYES?
August 9, 2011 at 10:31 am
After 10 minutes I realized he has eyes.
August 9, 2011 at 12:04 pm
I noticed the eyes first, because I LOVE me a gorgeous pair of baby blues.
August 9, 2011 at 9:57 am
Ladies, help me pick out a pair for my chunky monkey.
August 9, 2011 at 9:58 am
Just browsing around on the site and . . . HOLY SHIT.
August 9, 2011 at 9:58 am
I’m pretending that’s not a shadow, so don’t ruin it for me, ‘kay?
August 9, 2011 at 10:01 am
also pretending that’s not a shadow!!!
August 9, 2011 at 10:16 am
I don’t care if it IS a shadow…I mean, geez, what OTHER guy makes a shadow like that?
August 9, 2011 at 10:40 am
Excellent point!
August 9, 2011 at 10:47 am
Yes rushgirl, yes it is
August 9, 2011 at 2:35 pm
his nickname in bed is longshadow
August 9, 2011 at 1:58 pm
Ya know, there IS such a thing as too big….it’s kinda painful….
August 9, 2011 at 10:06 am
I do not like this. This man has less body hair than me AND better legs. Damnit.
August 9, 2011 at 10:15 am
Oh god, I love men with long hair.
August 9, 2011 at 10:36 am
Uhg, no!
1. I call photoshop shennigans… his back/waist/hip line looks weird to me.
2. he is WAY too skinny for my taste… Mike at least has a little meat on his bones
August 9, 2011 at 11:01 am
Yowza, hello Mr. Sundial, do you have the time?:-D
August 9, 2011 at 2:33 pm
Now THAT’S how I envision Bomba the Jungle Boy!
August 9, 2011 at 9:58 am
I’d happily sit and hand crochet him all the clown underwear he wants if I get to marry him.
Just sayin’.
August 9, 2011 at 9:58 am
Sweet pimple ridden Jesus, if this post was any more fantastic,I’d have to hire someone to help me hump it.
August 9, 2011 at 10:01 am
Dave is totally cute!! In fact, I much prefer his body type to the male model’s. (Not that I’d kick Justin out of bed for eatin’ crackers.)
August 9, 2011 at 10:01 am
Serious double-take on this one – WHY DOES THIS DUDE HAVE FEET COMING OUT OF HIS ASS?
August 9, 2011 at 10:04 am
Oh. Wow. I mean, I know he’s sitting on his heels, but that really does look fucking weird.
August 9, 2011 at 7:24 pm
Even with feet coming out his ass, I still think he’s fucking hot.
August 9, 2011 at 10:08 am
Holy shit, I went crosseyed looking at that trying to figure out where the feet came from.
August 9, 2011 at 10:09 am
Looks even more disturbing when you see it as a thumbnail.
August 9, 2011 at 10:13 am
It took me several minutes to even notice the feet.
August 9, 2011 at 11:55 am
Is there something wrong with me that at first I saw a propeller on the front of these? Negative space between feet and then, um, up the general crotchal area. Perhaps I was a little too focused on that area. But how epic would underwear with a propeller be?
August 9, 2011 at 1:59 pm
Sounds dangerous.
August 9, 2011 at 4:21 pm
I did too. Then I saw feet. It’s like one of those magic eye pictures. But you just get more and more confused.
August 9, 2011 at 12:03 pm
Is no one going to help Dave? He is clearly possessed by the evil clown underwear. “The Clown inhabits me, and acts through my groin.” I suppose we could ask him to send in some other pics to, you know, investigate further.
August 9, 2011 at 2:51 pm
knowing him personally, when the clown drawers are on… EVERYBODY WINS.
August 9, 2011 at 3:34 pm
LMAO, I will ask him!
August 9, 2011 at 5:22 pm
“if you can find my car keys, we can drive out of here!”
I almost typed “out of Gere,” which was even more wrong.
August 9, 2011 at 9:18 pm
Still wearing far too much.
August 9, 2011 at 10:02 am
Dave — 3 parts Mike, 1 part Dror, 2 parts crayzee clown underoos, and those purty, purty eyes….
FTW, ladies. He’s a keeper!
August 9, 2011 at 10:06 am
WOOF!
Dave is way hotter than towel Mike.. for one, he actually has a head!
August 9, 2011 at 10:07 am
And the calendar submissions roll in… very nice, men. I’ll be in my bunk.
August 9, 2011 at 10:10 am
Helen when you originally created Regretsy, did you ever imagine in your wildest dreams that it would lead to so many emails containing half naked men?
Afterthought: so unfair when you have your own eye candy on hand! But then, at least you share!!!
August 9, 2011 at 6:31 pm
No, or she would’ve started it sooner!
August 9, 2011 at 10:11 am
Trying to persuade my husband to take his shirt off for the fat jealous loser bitches but he thinks he’s fat, and therefore won’t post his rather nice torso on the internet.
I keep telling him that in these challegning times the internet needs his semi-nudity, that he could help stop the riots but he just keeps whining about ‘nonsense’ this and ‘no grasp of the complexity of the issues’ that.
August 9, 2011 at 10:18 am
Everyone needs to respond with ‘Take it off, Jos’. He’s easily peer-pressured.
August 9, 2011 at 10:20 am
TAKE IT OFF, JOS’!!!!
August 9, 2011 at 10:20 am
I say do it, dude! I’ve been trying to get my boyfriend to strip for you guys for awhile. I figured if I bought him so undies here I could totally convince him.
August 9, 2011 at 10:41 am
Take it off Jos!
August 9, 2011 at 11:28 am
Take it off Jos! There is nothing like having hundreds of fat, jealous, horny losers drooling over your half-naked (or fully naked) manliness to boost your self-esteem.
August 9, 2011 at 11:29 am
Take it off, Jos!
Take it off, Jos!
Did I mention TAKE IT OFF!!!!!!!!!!! JOS!!!!!!
August 9, 2011 at 11:39 am
He obviously needs to know just how many women are impatiently waiting to see a chunk of man candy. We’re desperate here : P
August 9, 2011 at 1:29 pm
Keep calm and take it off.
August 9, 2011 at 1:50 pm
Yes!! Take it off, Jos
August 9, 2011 at 2:01 pm
TAKE IT OFF, JOS!!!
August 9, 2011 at 7:27 pm
TAKE IT OFF, TAKE IT ALL OFF, JOS!!!
August 9, 2011 at 10:19 am
Dude, the DISABLED GUY did it! And all I did was not show his disabled arm (which looks fine, but he’s just that small bit self-conscious).
If the DISABLED GUY did it, then Mister Anninyn shouldn’t worry about anything.
August 9, 2011 at 10:29 am
Where is this photo you mention?? Are you saving it for a special occasion? Like maybe a calendar?
August 9, 2011 at 11:40 am
It’s in the comments from last nights members only post. Go see it, it’s worth it
August 9, 2011 at 5:03 pm
AH HA! It wasn’t there this morning when I read the post. Nicely done, Patty. I prefer pose 1, also.
August 9, 2011 at 10:44 am
Mine loves it too, but I don’t know if I can him to let me take a picture or not. Maybe if I tell him to let me do his arms with all his nice tats, and maybe he’ll let me draw a new CF4L one on him. Hmm. We’ll see if he can be bribed. Actually, I know just how to bribe him.
August 9, 2011 at 10:50 am
Crap. If I can “get” him to. Also, I apparently replied in the wrong place.
August 9, 2011 at 10:19 am
Hmmmm- my guy loves Club Fuckery…maybe I can get some pics outta him. Our first movie date was Lilo and Stitch- we quote the movie all the time and now my nickname for him is “Cute and Fluffy”. I like fluffy!
August 9, 2011 at 10:22 am
“Honey, I don’t want to”
Spoilsport.
I’ll have to wait till he’s asleep.
August 9, 2011 at 10:25 am
Apparently he’s too self-conscious about it. He’d be constantly worried that someone would call him fat.
Would a picture of him wearing chainmail do? I think I can persaude him to do that.
August 9, 2011 at 10:42 am
Oooh, even better.
August 9, 2011 at 10:43 am
Nicely!
August 9, 2011 at 10:48 am
DO IT!
August 9, 2011 at 10:50 am
WE HAVE REACHED COMPROMISE!
He is willing to be photographed in chainmail at the weekend as long as he isn’t feeling too fat. I will send the picture in to April.
In the meantime, I include a picture of him looking hadsome at our wedding.
“>
<img src="
August 9, 2011 at 10:54 am
Now I want pictures of hot men in chainmail towels.
Where are my pliers?…
August 9, 2011 at 11:00 am
Yes!
August 9, 2011 at 11:17 am
Okay, I have to say that he looks pretty hot. And not even APPROACHING fat.
August 9, 2011 at 11:24 am
I know, right? He’s carrying half a stone of excess weight and he’s tall so it doesn’t matter. But he compares himself to how he looked at 25, when he worked out 4 hours a day.
And it shares my bed every night. Yum. If you want more, there’s plenty of him on my Flickr.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/gingerbiscuit/
August 9, 2011 at 11:31 am
Ok he is too precious!
August 9, 2011 at 11:44 am
Oh, Anninyn, he is lovely, but… YOUR DRESS!!!! Oh!
August 9, 2011 at 11:45 am
Thanks, doodles! It’s even handmade- by a lovely corsetiere who runs BoobBoomBaby Boutique.
August 9, 2011 at 1:41 pm
C&R: you “knit” (or otherwise create) a chain mail towel and send it to me, I’ll model it, LOL
August 9, 2011 at 1:52 pm
He’s gorgeous!!
August 9, 2011 at 2:05 pm
That has to be the most fucking awesome wedding invitation I have ever seen. And I gotta agree about that dress – absolutely stunning!
August 9, 2011 at 2:09 pm
Oh, oh, and the cake! The CAKE!
August 9, 2011 at 4:00 pm
He’s wonderful, Anninyn!!!!!! Tell him that we’re desperately drooling and he is NOT fat at all, cuddly and yummy and… ‘scuse me now…
August 9, 2011 at 4:25 pm
@Anninyn Where is this “fat” you speak of? I see a slender kinda guy. And a really awesometastic purple wedding dress. Purple is the bestest color.
August 9, 2011 at 6:17 pm
G Val, I just need to go buy wire, and probably another dowel. Then I will make it happen in my artistic deficiency.
August 9, 2011 at 10:15 am
Do they make a Hobo Clown version? I know a guy that could have used it on his honeymoon.
August 9, 2011 at 11:31 am
I don’t spit drinks onto my keyboard often, but that did it.
August 9, 2011 at 1:08 pm
This costume was used for the Depression Era Hobo Bachelorette party. It was a bummer for the stripper though. Everyone put “I.O.Us” into his thong instead of dollar bills.
August 9, 2011 at 7:48 pm
THIS.
August 9, 2011 at 10:16 am
That’s going to ruin hot guys for me forever. If I ever go to Chippendales or some such I’m going to have a Regretsy flashback and scream, “CLOWN! CLOWN! KILL IT!” while hitting the poor stripper with a chair.
August 9, 2011 at 10:19 am
What about This version?
August 9, 2011 at 10:31 am
Whay can’t little people be sexy? I think the hottest guy in “Game of Thrones” was the guy who played Tyrion Lannister.
August 9, 2011 at 10:34 am
Not ashamed to say that I would.
August 9, 2011 at 7:49 pm
I’d hit it. Love him on that show!
August 9, 2011 at 10:39 am
Peter Dinklage is awesome, but I have a thing for Sean Bean.
DITTO DITTO DITTO – HK
August 9, 2011 at 10:51 am
Who doesn’t? Did you hear he got in a pub fight recently? He was stabbed and carried on with the drinking.
August 9, 2011 at 11:32 am
Yes I did, Anninyn! I swooned.
August 9, 2011 at 1:49 pm
Us Yorkshire folk are tough.
August 9, 2011 at 3:19 pm
Course, he was DRUNK, and at the bar on a dat with a woman less than half his age. Why couldn’t he “defend the honor” of a woman HIS OWN age? Or maybe MY age? Or heck ME? I’ll make the clown underwear optional, I swear.
August 9, 2011 at 11:07 am
Ohmybutyes
August 9, 2011 at 11:09 am
Agreed, he is a good looking guy but I’m just not feeling that first picture. I was laughing so hard and I didn’t even know he was little:) I don’t think that’s a sexy pose no matter what size you are LOL
August 9, 2011 at 11:29 am
Sexy is a man who cares not how goofy he looks.
August 9, 2011 at 2:49 pm
Are you talking about Shop Vac guy? That’s Daniel Blackner:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-476560/Dwarf-rushed-hospital-gluing-penis-hoover.html
August 9, 2011 at 4:14 pm
Notice he needed “extra strong glue”.
August 9, 2011 at 12:22 pm
My mom has a serious crush on him.
August 9, 2011 at 1:26 pm
I love Hugh Laurie, but DAMN! Peter Dinklage was born to play the role of Gregory House.
August 9, 2011 at 1:36 pm
This the same guy who was in the Narnia movie? He was great in that
August 9, 2011 at 1:43 pm
It’s been a while since I read one of the books, but wasn’t Tyrion Lannister supposed to be hideous? Peter Dinklage is pretty much universally agreed to be attractive, right? THAT VOICE.
August 9, 2011 at 2:10 pm
Tyrion was supposed to start off as an object of mockery because of his size, but I never got the impression that he was supposed to be facially grotesque, um… at the point that the HBO series has got to. Later, –SPOILERS–SPOILERS–SPOILERS–SPOILERS–SPOILERS– and that might be what you’re thinking of.
August 9, 2011 at 2:37 pm
I was under the impression that no man can be sexy while frolicking nude with a shop vac… but I’m willing to give Peter Dinklage a chance.
August 12, 2011 at 2:07 pm
I think I second this. Okay and he’s my favorite character.
August 9, 2011 at 10:20 am
Any women who send in butthurt should just be sent all the glorious half naked pictures with a message see regretsy is amazing!
Btw, so jealous…..
Must figure out how to get men to send me half naked pictures
August 9, 2011 at 1:42 pm
For most men on the
interwebzinternet, all you have to do is ask!August 9, 2011 at 1:54 pm
craigslist
August 9, 2011 at 10:26 am
Isn’t Dave sweet?
We love his hair.
We don’t even care that he has a red nose
covering his pair.
Send in the clowns…
August 9, 2011 at 10:30 am
I understand why this has cured many of you of your Coulrophobia, Dave IS hot as hell. This has inspired in me a fear of clowns where none previously existed. When the clown was on an airbrushed internet hard-body it was unreal. Now, seeing it on a real man’s body, it terrifies me. Mental images come, unbidden, of clown faces plunging recklessly toward my neither regions, red noses squeaking squishilly as blue satin petals fill my nostrils and silver sequins scratch my cheeks.
August 9, 2011 at 10:37 am
Could we get Dror to dance in it?
August 9, 2011 at 11:03 am
For the right price, maybe. This goes beyond even the premium $5.00 Disney chones.
August 9, 2011 at 10:40 am
I wonder if I sent this to Dror with $10 if I could get him to dance in these instead of Disney drawers?
August 9, 2011 at 11:13 am
Doh! Someone beat me to it, that’s what I get for not reading ahead;) Maybe we can gather the funds to buy this and persuade him to do it on behalf of all of us as a kind of Regretsy screensaver?
August 9, 2011 at 10:43 am
As the originally submitter of the clown thong outfit, This makes me very, very happy.
August 9, 2011 at 10:43 am
Derp… “original”
August 9, 2011 at 10:43 am
I’d blow him.
August 9, 2011 at 1:55 pm
Nah, tell us how you really feel.
August 9, 2011 at 10:49 am
So, there’s a good chance I’ll actually be taking advantage of that nice little 20% off coupon.
August 9, 2011 at 10:53 am
Oh, I plan to take full advantage of it. Believe me.
August 9, 2011 at 10:54 am
Ack, but then I saw the only K’Mando products in the store are funny little dick pouches, which while nice, don’t serve my every-day underwear needs…
August 9, 2011 at 9:43 pm
I thought the same thing. What the hell would I even do with that?
August 10, 2011 at 10:59 am
Put it on your dick, clearly.
August 9, 2011 at 10:53 am
I posted a pic of my hubs to break up the monotony of the hobo scandal. he has long blond hair, big blue eyes, lots of hair on his chest and I was told he was not acceptable. Good thing he is mine. Oh well.
BTW did anyone else get a rehab ad when they pulled up this post? Mine comes up Premier Texas Drug Rehab. I guess even the web crawlers think we are nothing but fat jealous, drug addled losers. Imma go run my fingers through my hubby’s chest hair now.
August 9, 2011 at 10:55 am
BTW also, hubs was wearing my see thru jammies in the pic and he thought it was funny and that you all might enjoy it. It was his idea for me to post, because even tho he is not a member here, he loves Regretsy as much as I do.
August 9, 2011 at 12:09 pm
Where were you told he was not acceptable?? I would want to, um, reevaluate this decision.
Sadly, my Ginger won’t do ANY pics until he loses some weight.
August 9, 2011 at 4:28 pm
Here, comment number 150. http://www.regretsy.com/2011/08/05/faux-bos-and-faux-pas/
August 9, 2011 at 6:00 pm
I think it’s awesome that he likes Regretsy and wanted the picture done! And he’s one of those guys who can pull off longer hair, which is cool!
August 9, 2011 at 4:42 pm
Where did you post him? I remember no blonde hairy men. How did I miss that?
August 9, 2011 at 6:46 pm
I just re-read. He’s not acceptable for the calendar they’re doing, because each one has a man’s head and a woman’s body.
August 9, 2011 at 7:58 pm
Can’t wait to see that. I see. So we can do something else with my hubby? Tee hee.
August 9, 2011 at 7:16 pm
I love that he’s wearing your jammies. Also the friendly grin coupled by the somewhat manic look in his eyes. (And like Postmenopaws said, he has great teeth – I am green with envy.) He looks like he’s all kinds of awesome and fun to be around. Two thumbs up!
(And an extra 5 thumbs because I love the jammies.)
August 9, 2011 at 8:00 pm
He is a total blast. He is usually really quiet, but when he gets in his prankster moods look out. Keeps me laughing. Thanks guys.
August 10, 2011 at 7:12 pm
It’s always the quiet ones…
August 9, 2011 at 10:54 am
I don’t know what this says about me, but I was peering right up close to the screen on Dave’s photo…so I could get a good look at the cool rug in the background.
August 9, 2011 at 11:18 am
Im glad Im not the only person who looks in the background and checks out the house. Of course we are trained now to look for photobombs.
August 9, 2011 at 4:43 pm
I had to read your comment like 3 times. I was trying to understand the innuendo. Then I realized you meant an ACTUAL literal rug. Also, it’s a cool one.
August 9, 2011 at 10:59 am
Well, HELLO there.
Bless you, Dave. Rawr.
August 9, 2011 at 11:00 am
So much man-candy this week, and it’s only Tuesday. This is by far the best week ever.
August 9, 2011 at 11:00 am
I’m going to take Justin up on his offer. My son was apparently having an issue with his junk yesterday. When I asked him to stop fiddling with it while he was talking to me, he told me his balls itched. I thought that was inappropriate. I believe a nicely gift wrapped K’Mando will be an equally inappropriate birthday gift!
August 9, 2011 at 11:13 am
I’m not sure how I feel about a parent saying “My son” and “his junk” in the same sentence; however, there is something refreshing about a child (regardless of age) being able to talk to his parents about personal issues.
August 9, 2011 at 11:13 am
Idea and a half, nitebyrd.
K’mando strapless pouch gym grey – $20
Priority shipping – $5.95
Look on son’s face when he opens gift – PRICELESS!
August 9, 2011 at 7:36 pm
I’d be willing to front you the money for this if you promise to take a pic of the look on his face when he opens the present & post it for us.
August 9, 2011 at 11:14 am
Why is it that all the men I dated looked like Towel Mike on that first date evening, and Justin the Clown in the morning?
Also, looks like Justin REALLY LIKES his clown costume. Plus, he’s channeling just a touch of Dancing Dror chest hair. He is born again to the regretsy product line if he can youtube a few dance.
August 9, 2011 at 2:03 pm
With all the sweating and breathing I am doing over here, I am getting confused too.
August 9, 2011 at 11:14 am
I’m glad to see that Dane Cook has decided to make a career change. He’s much better at clown speedo modeling, than he is at stand-up comedy.
August 9, 2011 at 11:17 am
I was already having a softcore porn kind of day, and then this shows up….
Lucky day indeed!
August 9, 2011 at 11:22 am
Hey! You nuts stop all that clowning around!
August 9, 2011 at 11:26 am
Oh, Dave… thank you. Yum.
August 9, 2011 at 12:02 pm
Can I just say, on behalf of all hirsute males, how great you ladies of Regretsy are! I always feel better about being fuzzy after reading these threads.
August 9, 2011 at 12:51 pm
“Ladies of Regretsy.” I like that. Could go on a T-shirt.
August 9, 2011 at 1:30 pm
Hey, some of us like to not feel like pedophiles when drooling over mancandy. Any time, sugar!
August 9, 2011 at 1:47 pm
Hey! Some of us are naturally hairless. It happens! It happens a lot, if you’re Asian.
August 9, 2011 at 4:23 pm
It is good to know there are women who have positive things to say about hirsute males.
I wish I could send this entire thread to my oldest son’s wife, who criticizes him constantly and publicly for having hair on his chest and back. But I won’t. Because I’m not allowed to criticize her for criticizing him. Because, you know, I’m the mother-in-law and that would be evil.
August 9, 2011 at 4:47 pm
Aww. That’s horrible. I’ve always figured some people were hairy, some not. Some shave, some don’t. And there’s room for us all here. I had a youth pastor who was so hairy that the first time I saw him shirtless (he was climbing out of a pool) I ran screaming, trying to figure out why they’d let a bear into the pool. (Seriously, he looked like he had a turtleneck on.) And his wife would tease him a little (the whole youth group offered to find him a harriest man alive contest), but it was always affectionate…
August 9, 2011 at 12:03 pm
MMMM…Loves me a guy with chest hair. Thanks Dave!
August 9, 2011 at 12:24 pm
Please April/Helen, let this man’s name truly be Dave, because he looks way too much like my stepson Mike for me to be ANYTHING but highly disturbed by this.
August 9, 2011 at 2:25 pm
I feel ya, PBCGE. He looks just enough like my brother, whose name actually IS Dave.
August 9, 2011 at 3:37 pm
His name really is Dave. He’s a friend of mine. I almost died when I saw he BOUGHT it a while back…let alone sent pictures out of himself wearing it!
August 9, 2011 at 5:02 pm
Yup, I was stupid enough to use my real name.
August 9, 2011 at 7:00 pm
thank you for not being my stepson! However, I will adopt you if you want…
August 9, 2011 at 7:22 pm
Also: Mike. o_0
August 9, 2011 at 12:44 pm
I don’t know how it happened, yet slowly but surely Regretsy is turning into Grindr.*
AND I LIKE IT.
Maybe this is why we’re so popular in Latvia?
(*or at least “Guys with iPhones)
August 9, 2011 at 12:55 pm
I can think of a couple guys I’d love to see not wearing this. If you know what I mean.
August 9, 2011 at 1:42 pm
This is Dave. Thanks for the love! Anybody else have any phobias they want cured?
August 9, 2011 at 2:05 pm
I fear clowns. Could you remove it?…right now please.
August 9, 2011 at 2:19 pm
I’m terrified of butt cheeks . . .
August 9, 2011 at 3:26 pm
will you have sex with me?!
August 9, 2011 at 10:38 pm
I’d just like to say… The best sex i’ve had has been with Daves. So, you know. Just puttin’ that out there.
August 9, 2011 at 1:48 pm
Good man this Dave!
August 9, 2011 at 2:01 pm
August 9, 2011 at 2:23 pm
Can’t sleep, clown penis will eat me.
Can’t sleep, clown penis will eat me.
Can’t sleep, clown penis will eat me.
Can’t sleep, clown penis will eat me.
August 9, 2011 at 3:45 pm
night night!
August 9, 2011 at 4:24 pm
So. Wrong.
August 9, 2011 at 7:26 pm
OH HAI THAR PIXIE. I’m'a register for your site one of these days. Be well!
August 9, 2011 at 2:36 pm
SO PROUD OF DAVE
He’s my friend! He stripped down to this very get-up at my birthday party, Sunday!!!! 
HOTTEST BIRTHDAY STRIPPER EVER 
August 9, 2011 at 6:33 pm
Now I’m an extra-jealous loser bitch. What an awesome friend!
August 9, 2011 at 7:41 pm
Yes. Best. Friend. Ever.
August 9, 2011 at 11:48 pm
SRRSLY, BEST BIRTHDAY EVER.
August 9, 2011 at 2:38 pm
HAWT!!!!
(‘filed under “penises”‘ — awesome)
August 9, 2011 at 2:59 pm
The perfect outfit for A Very Special performance of Pagliacci.
August 9, 2011 at 3:29 pm
Helen, Thank you for proving sellers right once again. When sellers ask for something on Etsy, they never get it. Every year they ask and they do not get. Every year Etsy refuses to listen.
Regretsy gets a couple of dozen requests for anything-remotely-Towel-Mike and you fulfill their needs within 24 hours!
Yes, Etsy, it can be done!
August 9, 2011 at 4:31 pm
Guys – I got my hubby to pose for me! Here he is showing off his tattoo that I designed for him, and a quick little sharpie “CF4L”.
August 9, 2011 at 4:50 pm
I actually prefer the second guy. Sure, he’s not toned and buff, but neither am I, and he actually looks like someone I’d be able to talk to at the bar. Gym rats are nice to look at, but the ones that can carry an interesting conversation are rare and possibly hunted to extinction.
August 9, 2011 at 5:09 pm
Yes please!
Regretsy is turning into a buffet of manflesh. I HEARTILY APPROVE.
August 9, 2011 at 7:28 pm
FUCK YEAH
August 9, 2011 at 5:43 pm
I have to admit I’ve looked at this post a few times today. *blush* Also, any man willing to wear this out of sheer humorous possibilities earns my respect, and I like to meet for more than one reason.
*scrolls back up and drools*
August 9, 2011 at 6:43 pm
I’d pay $50 to see Dancing Dror dance in this get-up. Seriously. Is that so wrong?
August 9, 2011 at 7:45 pm
No, it’s very, very right. How much extra do you think he’d charge to wear this instead of Disney underpants? Whatever it is, it would be worth it.
August 9, 2011 at 10:28 pm
Yes. Yes it would.
August 9, 2011 at 7:57 pm
God, I love Regretsy. Raging ♥ on right here!
August 9, 2011 at 9:09 pm
Is it sad that I was surprised that this one had a head?
I think I’m getting too used to
TorsoTowel Mike…*”this one” meaning “this piece of eye candy” and not anything derogatory. Oh, wait, “eye candy” is derogatory. Oh well, I’m a sexist bitch who cares nothing about being politically correct.
August 9, 2011 at 10:04 pm
Dave, Will you marry me? Please? I sure hope you live in the Seattle area – I just moved last weekend and moving again would really suck, but I would do it for that chest.
Love,
OrangeWho
August 9, 2011 at 10:09 pm
Will Dror dance in this? That is all I need to know . . .
August 9, 2011 at 10:29 pm
Why do those pictures remind me of the circumcision controversy?
August 9, 2011 at 10:36 pm
I just want to honk Dave’s nose. The red one, that is.
August 9, 2011 at 10:58 pm
DIBS ON DAVE!!!!!
August 10, 2011 at 1:03 am
I know I’m late, but:
FUZZY MEN FTW!!!
August 10, 2011 at 2:02 am
I can’t believe this site has driven me to two filks tonight.
Hairy Boppin’ Daddies: “Hirsute Riot”
Who sends April emails like these?It's two shavers, they're sure to please
Towels and gis and men who sing
Who's your daddy? That's the thing...
Clown Dave came to play, now
We can't post fast enough
Fuzzy's here to stay
When it comes to all-thumbs-up
Hirsute riot
(Riot!)
Throw back a bottle of beer
Hirsute riot
(Riot!)
'Cause you know it's getting warm in here
[repeat chorus]
Whoah daddy!
We loved the jitterbuggin' hairy man
His friend said, "Shave!" but he took a stand
Watch this video, you'll understand
In his veins hot music ran
He made the ladies' days
And now Dror is all the buzz
Now you shavers know
That some women go for fuzz
Hirsute riot
(Riot!)
[etc]
You're in a hirsute riot!
[etc]
August 10, 2011 at 2:04 am
That was supposed to be a reply to Postmenopaws ™. Ah, 4 AM fuckery, how the details sneak by unnoticed.
August 10, 2011 at 2:28 am
Thank you for providing the video link for reference.
And BRAVA!! on the filking!
August 10, 2011 at 7:59 am
I thought these guys were coming to Atlanta soon, but it’s Big Bad Voodoo Daddy. I’ll be out of town Saturday night anyway.
August 10, 2011 at 8:11 am
My husbands birthday is coming up…….
August 10, 2011 at 2:55 pm
I know I’m late to the party, I’ve been out. I think I may have to buy one of these for my husband. He knows about (and often mocks) my phobia of clowns, and I can think of no better way to say “I never want your penis near me again.”
August 10, 2011 at 7:23 pm
I am completely OK with this trend of half naked men pictures.