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Tea Pain

This post first appeared on Regretsy on August 24, 2010

79 comments on Tea Pain

  1. akijade
    August 7, 2011 at 1:32 pm

    Perfect! I was wondering what to wear on my trip to Wonderland.

    Thumb up Thumb down +61

  2. asunder333
    August 7, 2011 at 1:33 pm

    Love her work! She’s one of my favorite artisans on Etsy.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

    • lindsaysays
      August 7, 2011 at 2:11 pm

      Mine too, she has some really great pieces, but this necklace isn’t something I’m that into.

      Thumb up Thumb down +7

      • alex51324
        August 7, 2011 at 3:54 pm

        That’s kind of a shame, because I have the impression something really neat could have been made out of these vintage tea set pieces. This just isn’t it. (I did read the comment below from the seller about how it was an artistic statement…but the artistic statement, “Ugly things are ugly,” doesn’t impress me much. The performance art aspect of somebody paying actual money for it is slightly more interesting, but I still would have preferred to see these pieces used to make something that is actually pleasant to look at. I know, it’s so bourgeois of me.

        Thumb up Thumb down +21

        • Stretch65
          August 7, 2011 at 9:08 pm

          I think the person who bought it must have agreed with you. They bought it so they could make something else with it

          Thumb up Thumb down 0

        • Corvidae
          August 8, 2011 at 11:33 am

          You know, the plates are OK. I will give you the plates. Its the teacups that tip the whole thing over the edge.

          Thumb up Thumb down 0

  3. Mininerva
    August 7, 2011 at 1:34 pm

    It’s chic AND I can carry my soup with me.

    Thumb up Thumb down +63

  4. Dynomoose
    August 7, 2011 at 1:34 pm

    This item sold on November 24, 2010.

    I’m going to go stick nails in some trash can lids and call them earrings. I should be able to get at least $100 for them.

    Thumb up Thumb down +39

    • darkandtwisty
      August 7, 2011 at 1:35 pm

      I don’t understand. Who the hell would buy this and why?

      Thumb up Thumb down +13

    • Carly
      August 7, 2011 at 2:53 pm

      Regretsy has showed me that I shouldn’t be scared to make an etsy shop. If this kind of crap sells, why wouldn’t mine haha

      Thumb up Thumb down +19

      • doesnotworkorplaywellwithothers
        August 7, 2011 at 3:18 pm

        i hear you. i’ve come to much the same realisation.

        Thumb up Thumb down +5

  5. upscumbag
    August 7, 2011 at 1:35 pm

    I need something to measure out this flour.

    HOLD UP, PLAYA, I GOT YA CUP RIGHT HERE.

    Thumb up Thumb down +118

    • tiny giraffe
      August 7, 2011 at 1:53 pm

      I’m assuming your comment was autotuned?

      Thumb up Thumb down +40

    • VikingMama
      August 7, 2011 at 2:00 pm

      Thumb up Thumb down +71

      • ourephemera
        August 7, 2011 at 2:06 pm

        Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

        Thumb up Thumb down -20

  6. Monkeygurl
    August 7, 2011 at 1:35 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -6

    • Dynomoose
      August 7, 2011 at 2:07 pm

      If he’s spending $214 on unwearable junk necklaces, I guess we know why he sleeps on a corner.

      Thumb up Thumb down +26

  7. iggypickle
    August 7, 2011 at 1:40 pm

    ALSO great if you suddenly need to be a scarecrow in the middle of a cornfield! YAY!

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

    • iggypickle
      August 7, 2011 at 1:41 pm

      By the way, I’d need one with bigger tea cups. Do they come in other sizes??

      Thumb up Thumb down +23

      • Mininerva
        August 7, 2011 at 1:44 pm

        Yeah those cups won’t fit my teabags, it ya know what I mean.

        Wait, this metaphor has suddenly become very confusing to me.

        Thumb up Thumb down +67

  8. Anninyn
    August 7, 2011 at 1:40 pm

    Awesome! Now I needn’t worry about being caught out at the queens garden party without a teaset.

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

  9. Ree
    August 7, 2011 at 1:42 pm

    It’s my ass that makes my ass look big. Some huge conglomeration of painted tin is not going to distract from the hugeness of my ass.

    Thumb up Thumb down +65

    • mapenzi10
      August 7, 2011 at 1:48 pm

      I can virtually guarantee you that if you showed up at a party wearing this, no one would be staring at your ass, however unwieldy and enormous. They’d be looking at your hands to see if you brought a weapon. They’d be looking at your eyes to see who you might target your crazy at. They’d be looking for the nearest exit, and possibly sizing up who they’ll have knock over to reach it first.

      Notice how your ass doesn’t even make the list.

      Thumb up Thumb down +97

  10. thembone
    August 7, 2011 at 1:43 pm

    I’d wear this if it were about a third of the size, and not recognizably a tea set. So, you know, totally different. But the same colors.

    Thumb up Thumb down +43

    • amyruthanne
      August 7, 2011 at 4:47 pm

      Or as my siblings and I have said since we were kids, “Exact same thing but different.”

      Thumb up Thumb down +4

  11. thecreightonberyl
    August 7, 2011 at 1:44 pm

    This could be handy if you were a Sommelier. In a shootout.

    Thumb up Thumb down +23

    • Mugsy Doodle
      August 7, 2011 at 1:58 pm

      Or an octopus Sommelier.

      Thumb up Thumb down +18

  12. thegreenlinda
    August 7, 2011 at 1:45 pm

    In Wonderland, you do not have a tea party–tea party has you!

    Thumb up Thumb down +40

  13. ThePirateDuchess
    August 7, 2011 at 1:53 pm

    Was driving home late last night and saw a nightclub a few blocks off. It was called “Club Timbuktu” but from a distance and combined with the lightning it looked like “Club Fuckery.” I stopped the car and looked to make sure I wasn’t dreaming. If it had been Club Fuckery in the flesh, I would have stayed there all night making things happen in my artistic ability.

    Thumb up Thumb down +33

    • kimoutre
      August 7, 2011 at 3:53 pm

      We need physical Club Fuckery’s!

      Thumb up Thumb down +6

  14. Desert Blooms
    August 7, 2011 at 1:55 pm

    “Honey, when we told you to go for bold accessories, this is NOT what we had in mind!”

    Thumb up Thumb down +67

    • amyruthanne
      August 7, 2011 at 4:48 pm

      Could you imagine what they’d say if they really had to critique the “fashion” and “accessories” found on Etsy? Oh wait, they don’t have to, that’s what Regretsy is for. :)

      Thumb up Thumb down +3

  15. Lord Harrison Bajingo of South Hamptonfordshire
    August 7, 2011 at 1:58 pm

    Perfect attire for Tea-bagging.

    Thumb up Thumb down +19

    • FlouncestheDrivingCat
      August 7, 2011 at 2:08 pm

      Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

      Thumb up Thumb down -5

      • Lord Harrison Bajingo of South Hamptonfordshire
        August 7, 2011 at 2:15 pm

        wrong tea bagging

        Thumb up Thumb down +23

  16. DarkSock
    August 7, 2011 at 2:00 pm

    Well you people mock all you want, but I sure could have used this little gem back during my days of hustling for money at the glory-holes at the Flying J Truck.
    .
    Woulda paid for itself in laundry quarters.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  17. DetroitMommy
    August 7, 2011 at 2:01 pm

    at least it’s tin, so it’s not 20 pounds of crap around your neck… it’s only like 4 pounds.
    I’m trying to look at the bright side of life today. Only today. I don’t think I can take more than that.

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  18. mingamonga
    August 7, 2011 at 2:01 pm

    This is completely useful. I can wear it on those days when I didn’t do laundry and have to wear that bra that gives me the ‘extra boobs’ in the middle. Unsightly double cleavage is obscured.

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  19. ourephemera
    August 7, 2011 at 2:05 pm

    this is mine. or was mine before it sold. to a regretsy member or non regretsy member, I don’t know, but it sold for 300$ something bucks. lol.

    uhm, i don’t know– you may have noticed a lot of people around the year this was made like two years ago making really god awful junky pieces of garbage as necklaces. including myself. really testing the waters as far as what piece of garbage (its vintage!) can I put on a necklace and make it passable. this necklace is kind of loling on that. a kind of like–really, you’re gonna put WHAT on a necklace and pass it off as wearable? Its pretty much a joke piece as someone guessed in the orginal article this was posted in.

    but what do I care, I got 300$ something bucks for it, a statement on statement necklaces. the person even emailed me and told me they loved it (not sure if they left fb, it was a while ago).

    Thumb up Thumb down +62

    • mingamonga
      August 7, 2011 at 2:30 pm

      Just visited your shop–WOW. You make some really beautiful pieces. Keep up the good work.

      I have a quarterly work bonus burning a hole in my purse, so I spent a bit on your beautiful skeleton key necklace. :)

      Thumb up Thumb down +17

    • Dynomoose
      August 7, 2011 at 2:43 pm

      The other items in your shop are pretty neat.

      Thumb up Thumb down +8

    • Mugsy Doodle
      August 7, 2011 at 3:56 pm

      Which shop is yours? I may have missed something, but I didn’t see a link and your screen name doesn’t show up at Etsy. Thanks.

      Thumb up Thumb down +1

      • fadetopurple
        August 7, 2011 at 4:06 pm

        She’s at http://www.etsy.com/shop/OpulentOddities. For future reference, you can almost always access the original Etsy listing by clicking on the screenshot of it in the OP. :)

        Thumb up Thumb down +6

        • Mugsy Doodle
          August 7, 2011 at 4:19 pm

          I didn’t realize they were the same seller. Thanks!

          Thumb up Thumb down +1

    • Weirdolady
      August 7, 2011 at 4:12 pm

      Now that’s what you call a statement necklace! I like it precisely because it’s so bonkers. Perhaps a bit over-the-top for me but I’d never say never…

      You’re one of my favourite Etsy sellers anyway. I like things that are a bit crazy!

      Thumb up Thumb down +4

      • iabbervocium
        August 7, 2011 at 4:36 pm

        I’ve stumbled upon this Etsy store before as well, I love the jewelry- it’s very clever.

        Thumb up Thumb down 0

    • unseeliepixie
      August 7, 2011 at 11:43 pm

      I think getting paid $300 for it is the best punchline you could hope for… congrats!

      Thumb up Thumb down +2

  20. dashpanache
    August 7, 2011 at 2:05 pm

    Well, it sold. So God-Club-Fuckery-Bless-That! I wanna may art to sell for ten-times the cost of the materials, too. My guess is that Angela Lansbury bought it for the next Disney tribute-gig she gets. And to that I say “Be My Guest!”

    It does make me wanna have Angela stand close to my TV, just to see if all those dishes would give me better reception or more maybe suddenly get Showtime for free?

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  21. NanaB
    August 7, 2011 at 2:06 pm

    the only reason I don’t want this is because it doesn’t come with tea, milk, sugar, spoons, a table and guests.

    Otherwise, I like it.

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

  22. azdazhaz
    August 7, 2011 at 2:15 pm

    If you click on the pic and go to the etsy listing, enjoy reading the bizarre story that goes with the necklace. Lonely tea party earthquake or something.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  23. Fractaled
    August 7, 2011 at 2:23 pm

    Christmas Eve, my dad would string pots and pans across the stairs to keep kids from sneaking into the living room, and peeking at presents. My brother never quite caught on that this was a yearly occurrence. If I had an extra $200, and was still on speaking terms with my brother, I might consider sending this to him.

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  24. billm75
    August 7, 2011 at 2:50 pm

    would you look at the cans on that mannequin? They ain’t cans, they’re cups! Well shit, never mind then.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  25. sarahnopants
    August 7, 2011 at 3:02 pm

    My cups runneth over… Heh heh heh.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  26. montanabama
    August 7, 2011 at 3:03 pm

    Yeah… how the hell am I supposed to have tea on the fly without the teapot? Incomplete piece. *flounce*

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

    • sarahnopants
      August 7, 2011 at 3:25 pm

      The teapot had been made into a fascinator! Wear it with your matching milk and sugar dispensing earrings and you’ll be set.

      Thumb up Thumb down +9

  27. Dregs of Humanity
    August 7, 2011 at 3:22 pm

    I think you underestimate the importance of having a good bear repellant around at all times, since they can and will eat both your ass and any stray elderly persons who might wander by.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  28. Fraeulein
    August 7, 2011 at 3:46 pm

    I ended up wearing this same outfit after a night of drinking at a high school sleepover at my friends house.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  29. billm75
    August 7, 2011 at 4:02 pm

    Funny, when I played football, our cups were different somehow.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  30. invaderhorizongreen
    August 7, 2011 at 4:03 pm

    this just is int my cup of tea and it looks like someone would ask if you have something to get off your chest.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  31. MsBitchhands
    August 7, 2011 at 4:28 pm

    Someone took the euphemism “nice rack” to mean “dish rack”.

    Also: Look like someone will be prepared for a tea baggin’!

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  32. Brad the Butcher
    August 7, 2011 at 4:29 pm

    As well as making your ass look smaller, these are 100% guaranteed to have me staring at your newfangled chastity chest plate, through which I will try to engage your boobs (with a 50-50 chance of succeeding). Either way, I’ll spit-shine it for free, if you’d like.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  33. outofgoldstars
    August 7, 2011 at 4:47 pm

    I’m confused. Are you supposed to wear it? Forget the whole ‘I can rest my drink on my belly’ thing, now we can drink tea off our boobs. Fan Fucking Tastic. Perhaps they should add a tide stick to the chain though. This could get kinda messy.

    Fresh Out of Gold Stars

    Thumb up Thumb down -1

  34. catfud
    August 7, 2011 at 5:05 pm

    does it come with a matching china cabinet to store it in when im done wearing it?

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  35. upcycledcreamygoodness
    August 7, 2011 at 5:20 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -14

  36. TheEdwardianGirl
    August 7, 2011 at 5:22 pm

    A creative idea in theory but it would be a pain to walk anywhere.

    I’ve still got my original tea set but it’s made of glass so it probably wouldn’t work. :(

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  37. docleather
    August 7, 2011 at 6:02 pm

    Wow, this is the perfect derp necklace for people from the Tea Party to wear to their next rally! Epic fail.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  38. AholicRambler
    August 7, 2011 at 7:10 pm

    Some of her other stuff is pretty rad. Not gonna lie if I was gonna dress up for Halloween as a Mad Hatter of sorts this necklace could kinda work. Excepts my tits are huge so the cups would just sit there ready to be filled and next thing I know people are doing shots out of my necklace… actually that might be kinda awesome!

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

    • zombat
      August 8, 2011 at 12:51 am

      The first thing crossed my mind was that this must be for some kind of fancy drinking game.
      Altogether too fancy for my taste.

      Thumb up Thumb down +2

  39. DarkSock
    August 8, 2011 at 7:50 am

    If I wanted someone else’s junk around my neck I’d change my name to Kandi Kummerz and move to L.A. to start a film (video?) career.

    Thumb up Thumb down -1

  40. Pull My Leg – No, really, pull it.
    August 8, 2011 at 1:22 pm

    One thing that haunts me is “Where the hell are the matching earrings?”

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  41. Chronic Glitter Lung
    August 8, 2011 at 5:38 pm

    That thing just fills me with joy. I don’t know why. If I had the money to blow I would TOTALLY make that the centerpiece of my Halloween costume. Or wear it clubbing. I don’t even go clubbing, but it’s cool enough make me go.

    Just to get the weird looks.

    I love it.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

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