Etsy is just one, big, steamy turdfest.
Turds? I was expecting to see a picture of one of the admins over there.
I was expecting more hobo wedding items.
Well, you know, ‘Turd’ IS the new ‘black’…for Fall, anyway.
Given the title of the post, I can’t believe I clicked through from twitter. But at least I’m not disappointed: these absolutely do look like poop.
I have a cork screw just like that one hahahaha!
I love that the vintage french poop (corkscrew) description includes that it is “very easy to hold in your hands”. Off to use some sanitizer…
Some of this shit is expensive.
Yeah – I could make something like this for the cost of a can of beans.
i’d like to know more about the woodpacker’s hammer. is there someone i can convo for details?
I couldn’t give half a shit for some of this crap… I mean really? That scat in the hat pom pom thing looks like someone beat the shit out of an ewok and mushed everything together in stylish headgear…
This soap is the shit.
At least it’s meant to look like poop? That’s a bonus, right?
still makes me cringe… looks like Loafy’s(my cat) leftovers from a bad night with some milk… oh jeebus I’m gonna…. blergle*
I love that your cat’s name is Loafy.
Yeah, it’s a pretty accurate rendition of the morning after curry night.
I’m holding back my gag reflex long enough to reflect, however, that making this happen in their artistic ability is not a bonus.
I think I prefer my poop-resembling artefacts to be accidents. No pun intended.
The first seller says: “many of the shards collected are rough and missing a good bit of their original character.” Thanks for the heads up! I’d hate to buy something for my bland, pointless collection and find to my dismay that it contains character and interest.
I think they meant “sharts”…?
Oh… if you click on that photo, that joke is, like RIGHT there… derp
1) Which Handmade Los Angeles Boutique would feature item #10?
2) My daughter thought the whole post was pretty gross. But on the spot.
johnny on the spot?
The people who make this… uh… stuff are the same people who don’t own mirrors.
Or they own mirrors and they don’t care.
Hahaha I LOVE that the wine glass thingies are supposed to look like animals. Maybe she meant animal droppings, not the animals themselves.
Maybe after a couple of drinks we can have a rousing game of “Guess the Fewments!”
Did these folks not leave their crafts on a table, leave the room, and come back to see it at a distance?
Or are these the same folks who close their eyes and flush the toilet after taking a dump?
I was hoping someone would make a toilet flushing reference. Thank you!
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oh caca lol
As a teenager, I had this complexion mask that came in a pump and was very brown. My brother pumped about half the bottle onto a wad of toilet paper then went to our sister saying “Hey, take a look at this. Do you think I’m coming down with something?”
every time I clicked open a new window, my brain made a big juicy fart sound.
yes, I realize that means I have ‘poop joke’ maturity of a 12 year old boy. I’m okay with this, oddly enough.
I smell a new treasury!
Well, crack a window then.
No, no. You don’t open windows, you stare out them soulfully.
Just make sure I’m not downwind.
Helen’s in cahoots with my landlady. My landlady is buying me dinner tonight, and this is the plan they cooked up to make sure I don’t eat much.
Now I wish I hadn’t had all that coffee.
Man, y’all were right – Etsy really IS full of shit!
“… And there was much defecation.”
So many people write this and I never thought anything of it until it happened to me. I WAS EATING…and I wasn’t just eating anything, I was eating COMBOS: little pretzel cylinders with a flavored paste stuffing. You can imagine what the texture reminded me of when I layed eyes on these pictures.
Now my combos taste like something else. =c
Go buy some Nutella instead. With the log-style pretzels.
I think that first one — the “Mayan Pottery Shart Shard” — is a missed opportunity for Regretsy Math. A raw plucked chicken + a pile left by a Rottweiler on the living room floor = this thing.
Oh no! My stupid touchscreen phone made me hit thumbs down. Thumbs up! Thumbs up!
Someone, please help me rectify this situation.
How dare you! Overpriced shit was the theme for MY wedding. Ya’ll fat, ugly jealous losers have crossed the line!
So similar that I’m a little impressed none of them are.
New in Mac OS X “Lion” –
That’s a lot like my Ebay avatar.
Said avatar also kinda looks like a penis. Poopdick.
Also, this has been in downtown San Jose for a while now:
San Jose’s Quetzacoatl statue considered an aesthetic crime
WHAT THE SHIT.
Yeah, I live in San Jose and I tell visitors, “that’s our statue of a giant pile of snake crap.”
Holy crap! I clicked through your link. I had no idea that cost us half a million dollars!!!
HAHAHA. Poop. Awesome. The iguana pendant is totally a shit pendant. I looked at that thing. I don’t see a fucking iguana. I see shit. Who would wear a chocolate frosting bow? No one. Who would wear a poop bow? A lot of fucked up parents’ kids. The upscale necklace thing is the best. I kinda want to buy one and tell people it is designer shit just to gauge their reaction.
Fresh Out of Gold Stars
Did anyone else get the Kim Kardashian ad at the top of the screen?
Probably the Number Two most interesting post of the day!
I see what you doodood there.
We can’t all have taste. Or sight.
No matter what way you look at it, poo can be pretty funny. Unless its on your wall. Years ago I saw a painting with human excrement as the media. I beleive it was in Huston.
not the exact one
of course it was in houstin. the most humid place in texas, am i right?
The Etsy weekly forcast:
Chance of hot, sticky scatt. Chance likely warm.
This is beautiful.
holy shit! Just like my job, only without the smell. Next week we get a new student so we can pawn all our shit on him, literally. Not that we would do that on purpose, because that would just be mean. We just wouldn’t say welcome to microbiology here’s a turd in a cup. have fun. well, actually, we will, wspecially if they are all gross out by it. Nothing is more humbling than pilfering though a turd pile in a tupperware bowl.
Chance had better take a shower.
ice cream to beat the heat…or not.
welcome to crap central 100% crap all the time anytime is crap time
created this treasury back in may…who knew i was ahead of my time?
That treasury is (strangely) a wonderful breath of fresh air.
I did this one a couple of nights ago. I was in need of 16 poop jokes.
Have to tell ya, kind of digging the bejeweled pink unicorn poop.
ewww. thats why etsy is reserved for desperately self gratifying moments.
A shortened versions but I think that you get the idea.
A-well everybody’s heard about the turd
A-well-a everybody’s hearin’ about the turd
Turd, turd trud, t-turd’s the word
A-well-a turd turd turd, t-turd’s the word
A-well-a turd turd turd, t-turd’s the word
A-well-a turd turd, t-turd’s the word
A-well-a don’t you know about the turd?
Well everybody’s talkin’ all about the turd!
ON REGRETSY NO ONE EVER STAYS BEHIND AND CRIES OVER THE DEAD TURD!
This just proves that the Etsy folk just don’t give a shit.
They sell it.
Hint: it’s a vase.
Add some googly eyes and you have Mister Hankey.
Mr Hankey needs to go on a diet.
No thanks – you can have it.
So people accidentally fuck up their creations and STILL seel them?! O_O
I like the corkscrew. I don’t have to worry that it’s varnished, but it’s still soft because it’s not varnished.
These Etsy Poop-Crafts are like a bad laxative.
They fail to move me.
You’d save yourself a lot of money by just ordering one of these. It has a much better hilarity/$ ratio.
And of course I find this when I’m eating lunch.
Bizarrely, I saw that corkscrew at a local thrift today. The handle was even the same shape, leading me to believe that it might actually have been resin cast to look like a turd driftwood.
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