I couldn’t give half a shit for some of this crap… I mean really? That scat in the hat pom pom thing looks like someone beat the shit out of an ewok and mushed everything together in stylish headgear…
The first seller says: “many of the shards collected are rough and missing a good bit of their original character.” Thanks for the heads up! I’d hate to buy something for my bland, pointless collection and find to my dismay that it contains character and interest.
As a teenager, I had this complexion mask that came in a pump and was very brown. My brother pumped about half the bottle onto a wad of toilet paper then went to our sister saying “Hey, take a look at this. Do you think I’m coming down with something?”
So many people write this and I never thought anything of it until it happened to me. I WAS EATING…and I wasn’t just eating anything, I was eating COMBOS: little pretzel cylinders with a flavored paste stuffing. You can imagine what the texture reminded me of when I layed eyes on these pictures.
I think that first one — the “Mayan Pottery Shart Shard” — is a missed opportunity for Regretsy Math. A raw plucked chicken + a pile left by a Rottweiler on the living room floor = this thing.
HAHAHA. Poop. Awesome. The iguana pendant is totally a shit pendant. I looked at that thing. I don’t see a fucking iguana. I see shit. Who would wear a chocolate frosting bow? No one. Who would wear a poop bow? A lot of fucked up parents’ kids. The upscale necklace thing is the best. I kinda want to buy one and tell people it is designer shit just to gauge their reaction.
No matter what way you look at it, poo can be pretty funny. Unless its on your wall. Years ago I saw a painting with human excrement as the media. I beleive it was in Huston.
holy shit! Just like my job, only without the smell. Next week we get a new student so we can pawn all our shit on him, literally. Not that we would do that on purpose, because that would just be mean. We just wouldn’t say welcome to microbiology here’s a turd in a cup. have fun. well, actually, we will, wspecially if they are all gross out by it. Nothing is more humbling than pilfering though a turd pile in a tupperware bowl.
A shortened versions but I think that you get the idea.
A-well everybody’s heard about the turd
A-well-a everybody’s hearin’ about the turd
Turd, turd trud, t-turd’s the word
A-well-a turd turd turd, t-turd’s the word
A-well-a turd turd turd, t-turd’s the word
A-well-a turd turd, t-turd’s the word
……………………………………….
A-well-a don’t you know about the turd?
Well everybody’s talkin’ all about the turd!
…………………………………………
Etsyin’ turd
Bizarrely, I saw that corkscrew at a local thrift today. The handle was even the same shape, leading me to believe that it might actually have been resin cast to look like a turd driftwood.
August 4, 2011 at 2:35 pm
Etsy is just one, big, steamy turdfest.
August 4, 2011 at 4:54 pm
Turds? I was expecting to see a picture of one of the admins over there.
August 4, 2011 at 5:09 pm
I was expecting more hobo wedding items.
August 4, 2011 at 2:36 pm
Well, you know, ‘Turd’ IS the new ‘black’…for Fall, anyway.
August 4, 2011 at 2:36 pm
Given the title of the post, I can’t believe I clicked through from twitter. But at least I’m not disappointed: these absolutely do look like poop.
August 4, 2011 at 2:37 pm
I have a cork screw just like that one hahahaha!
August 4, 2011 at 2:38 pm
I love that the vintage french poop (corkscrew) description includes that it is “very easy to hold in your hands”. Off to use some sanitizer…
August 4, 2011 at 2:39 pm
Some of this shit is expensive.
August 4, 2011 at 3:12 pm
Yeah – I could make something like this for the cost of a can of beans.
August 4, 2011 at 2:40 pm
i’d like to know more about the woodpacker’s hammer. is there someone i can convo for details?
August 4, 2011 at 2:41 pm
I couldn’t give half a shit for some of this crap… I mean really? That scat in the hat pom pom thing looks like someone beat the shit out of an ewok and mushed everything together in stylish headgear…
August 4, 2011 at 2:43 pm
This soap is the shit.
http://www.etsy.com/listing/76560295/my-poop-dont-stink-soap-set-of-3?ref=sr_gallery_2&ga_search_submit=&ga_search_query=poop&ga_order=most_relevant&ga_ship_to=ZZ&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_type=all&ga_facet=
August 4, 2011 at 2:44 pm
At least it’s meant to look like poop? That’s a bonus, right?
August 4, 2011 at 2:46 pm
still makes me cringe… looks like Loafy’s(my cat) leftovers from a bad night with some milk… oh jeebus I’m gonna…. blergle*
August 4, 2011 at 6:20 pm
I love that your cat’s name is Loafy.
August 4, 2011 at 2:50 pm
Yeah, it’s a pretty accurate rendition of the morning after curry night.
I’m holding back my gag reflex long enough to reflect, however, that making this happen in their artistic ability is not a bonus.
I think I prefer my poop-resembling artefacts to be accidents. No pun intended.
August 4, 2011 at 2:43 pm
The first seller says: “many of the shards collected are rough and missing a good bit of their original character.” Thanks for the heads up! I’d hate to buy something for my bland, pointless collection and find to my dismay that it contains character and interest.
August 4, 2011 at 2:57 pm
I think they meant “sharts”…?
August 4, 2011 at 3:01 pm
Oh… if you click on that photo, that joke is, like RIGHT there… derp
August 4, 2011 at 2:44 pm
1) Which Handmade Los Angeles Boutique would feature item #10?
2) My daughter thought the whole post was pretty gross. But on the spot.
August 4, 2011 at 4:45 pm
johnny on the spot?
August 4, 2011 at 2:47 pm
The people who make this… uh… stuff are the same people who don’t own mirrors.
Or they own mirrors and they don’t care.
August 4, 2011 at 2:48 pm
I sharded
August 4, 2011 at 2:50 pm
Hahaha I LOVE that the wine glass thingies are supposed to look like animals. Maybe she meant animal droppings, not the animals themselves.
August 4, 2011 at 3:53 pm
Maybe after a couple of drinks we can have a rousing game of “Guess the Fewments!”
August 4, 2011 at 2:51 pm
Did these folks not leave their crafts on a table, leave the room, and come back to see it at a distance?
Or are these the same folks who close their eyes and flush the toilet after taking a dump?
August 5, 2011 at 4:07 am
I was hoping someone would make a toilet flushing reference. Thank you!
August 4, 2011 at 2:53 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
August 4, 2011 at 2:56 pm
As a teenager, I had this complexion mask that came in a pump and was very brown. My brother pumped about half the bottle onto a wad of toilet paper then went to our sister saying “Hey, take a look at this. Do you think I’m coming down with something?”
August 4, 2011 at 2:59 pm
every time I clicked open a new window, my brain made a big juicy fart sound.
yes, I realize that means I have ‘poop joke’ maturity of a 12 year old boy. I’m okay with this, oddly enough.
August 4, 2011 at 10:23 pm
Ppppppppppppppppppppppptttttttttttttttttthhttppptthppth
Like that?
August 4, 2011 at 2:59 pm
I smell a new treasury!
August 4, 2011 at 3:18 pm
Well, crack a window then.
August 4, 2011 at 5:13 pm
No, no. You don’t open windows, you stare out them soulfully.
August 4, 2011 at 4:54 pm
Just make sure I’m not downwind.
August 4, 2011 at 3:14 pm
Helen’s in cahoots with my landlady. My landlady is buying me dinner tonight, and this is the plan they cooked up to make sure I don’t eat much.
August 4, 2011 at 3:16 pm
Now I wish I hadn’t had all that coffee.
August 4, 2011 at 3:18 pm
Man, y’all were right – Etsy really IS full of shit!
August 4, 2011 at 3:18 pm
“… And there was much defecation.”
August 4, 2011 at 3:23 pm
So many people write this and I never thought anything of it until it happened to me. I WAS EATING…and I wasn’t just eating anything, I was eating COMBOS: little pretzel cylinders with a flavored paste stuffing. You can imagine what the texture reminded me of when I layed eyes on these pictures.
Now my combos taste like something else. =c
August 4, 2011 at 7:33 pm
Go buy some Nutella instead. With the log-style pretzels.
August 4, 2011 at 3:29 pm
I think that first one — the “Mayan Pottery
ShartShard” — is a missed opportunity for Regretsy Math. A raw plucked chicken + a pile left by a Rottweiler on the living room floor = this thing.August 4, 2011 at 5:59 pm
Oh no! My stupid touchscreen phone made me hit thumbs down. Thumbs up! Thumbs up!
Someone, please help me rectify this situation.
August 4, 2011 at 3:35 pm
How dare you! Overpriced shit was the theme for MY wedding. Ya’ll fat, ugly jealous losers have crossed the line!
August 4, 2011 at 3:42 pm
So similar that I’m a little impressed none of them are.
August 4, 2011 at 3:47 pm
New in Mac OS X “Lion” –
August 4, 2011 at 4:14 pm
That’s a lot like my Ebay avatar.
http://myworld.ebay.com/aprilwinchell
August 5, 2011 at 5:20 am
Said avatar also kinda looks like a penis. Poopdick.
August 4, 2011 at 3:51 pm
Also, this has been in downtown San Jose for a while now:
San Jose’s Quetzacoatl statue considered an aesthetic crime
August 4, 2011 at 4:44 pm
WHAT THE SHIT.
August 4, 2011 at 5:28 pm
Yeah, I live in San Jose and I tell visitors, “that’s our statue of a giant pile of snake crap.”
August 4, 2011 at 6:19 pm
Holy crap! I clicked through your link. I had no idea that cost us half a million dollars!!!
August 4, 2011 at 3:57 pm
HAHAHA. Poop. Awesome. The iguana pendant is totally a shit pendant. I looked at that thing. I don’t see a fucking iguana. I see shit. Who would wear a chocolate frosting bow? No one. Who would wear a poop bow? A lot of fucked up parents’ kids. The upscale necklace thing is the best. I kinda want to buy one and tell people it is designer shit just to gauge their reaction.
Fresh Out of Gold Stars
August 4, 2011 at 4:51 pm
Did anyone else get the Kim Kardashian ad at the top of the screen?
August 4, 2011 at 5:19 pm
ETSY HAPPENS
August 4, 2011 at 5:20 pm
Probably the Number Two most interesting post of the day!
August 5, 2011 at 12:31 am
I see what you doodood there.
August 4, 2011 at 5:25 pm
We can’t all have taste. Or sight.
August 4, 2011 at 5:25 pm
No matter what way you look at it, poo can be pretty funny. Unless its on your wall. Years ago I saw a painting with human excrement as the media. I beleive it was in Huston.
August 4, 2011 at 5:37 pm
http://www.scribd.com/doc/9830392/Excremental-Paintings
not the exact one
August 4, 2011 at 7:27 pm
of course it was in houstin. the most humid place in texas, am i right?
August 4, 2011 at 5:42 pm
The Etsy weekly forcast:
Chance of hot, sticky scatt. Chance likely warm.
August 4, 2011 at 6:02 pm
This is beautiful.
August 4, 2011 at 6:18 pm
holy shit! Just like my job, only without the smell. Next week we get a new student so we can pawn all our shit on him, literally. Not that we would do that on purpose, because that would just be mean. We just wouldn’t say welcome to microbiology here’s a turd in a cup. have fun. well, actually, we will, wspecially if they are all gross out by it. Nothing is more humbling than pilfering though a turd pile in a tupperware bowl.
August 4, 2011 at 7:06 pm
Chance had better take a shower.
August 4, 2011 at 10:44 pm
ice cream to beat the heat…or not.
August 4, 2011 at 6:04 pm
welcome to crap central 100% crap all the time anytime is crap time
August 4, 2011 at 6:34 pm
created this treasury back in may…who knew i was ahead of my time?
http://www.etsy.com/treasury/MTQxNjY4NTN8MzAxMzg3MjYz/its-crap-tastic?ref=pr_treasury
August 4, 2011 at 7:10 pm
That treasury is (strangely) a wonderful breath of fresh air.
August 4, 2011 at 7:16 pm
I did this one a couple of nights ago. I was in need of 16 poop jokes.
http://www.etsy.com/treasury/NjEwOTIxMnw1MjMyMjg3NTQ/poo-stoo-or-my-poo-is-not-pu?index=7
August 5, 2011 at 3:31 am
Have to tell ya, kind of digging the bejeweled pink unicorn poop.
August 4, 2011 at 7:24 pm
ewww. thats why etsy is reserved for desperately self gratifying moments.
August 4, 2011 at 8:42 pm
A shortened versions but I think that you get the idea.
A-well everybody’s heard about the turd
A-well-a everybody’s hearin’ about the turd
Turd, turd trud, t-turd’s the word
A-well-a turd turd turd, t-turd’s the word
A-well-a turd turd turd, t-turd’s the word
A-well-a turd turd, t-turd’s the word
……………………………………….
A-well-a don’t you know about the turd?
Well everybody’s talkin’ all about the turd!
…………………………………………
Etsyin’ turd
August 4, 2011 at 8:50 pm
ON REGRETSY NO ONE EVER STAYS BEHIND AND CRIES OVER THE DEAD TURD!
August 4, 2011 at 9:42 pm
This just proves that the Etsy folk just don’t give a shit.
.
.
They sell it.
August 4, 2011 at 10:36 pm
Hint: it’s a vase.
Add some googly eyes and you have Mister Hankey.
August 4, 2011 at 10:42 pm
Mr Hankey needs to go on a diet.
August 4, 2011 at 10:43 pm
No thanks – you can have it.
August 5, 2011 at 4:46 am
So people accidentally fuck up their creations and STILL seel them?! O_O
August 5, 2011 at 4:47 am
seel lmao
*sell
August 5, 2011 at 4:39 am
I like the corkscrew. I don’t have to worry that it’s varnished, but it’s still soft because it’s not varnished.
August 5, 2011 at 7:38 am
These Etsy Poop-Crafts are like a bad laxative.
.
They fail to move me.
August 5, 2011 at 8:27 am
You’d save yourself a lot of money by just ordering one of these. It has a much better hilarity/$ ratio.
August 5, 2011 at 9:07 am
And of course I find this when I’m eating lunch.
August 6, 2011 at 12:11 am
Bizarrely, I saw that corkscrew at a local thrift today. The handle was even the same shape, leading me to believe that it might actually have been resin cast to look like
a turddriftwood.