littlewidget, I like(d) Papyrus, too. So much so that years ago when I had my business logo designed, I okayed the use of Papyrus for the name. Now, I am just ashamed to use it because I know people hate it so much.
I used to work in a library. Just browse the religious section: Papyrus EVERYTHING. I even saw a children’s bible book, and the title font with Papyrus… colored in HOT PINK!!!
Yeah. I’m a graphic designer for my day job, and you would not catch me using that font for ANYTHING. X-P
My reasons for hating papyrus are due to how it does NOT translate well to embroidery… you get a product that looks like it was badly created instead of intentional. And yet folks keep using it in their logos… Those notches are NOT your friend.
If overpriced stationery causes you that kind of distress, I recommend leaving this site now and never coming back. You will stroke out fatally within the next few posts.
Sorry, no custom orders. If the name is not deemed vintage enough it isn’t going on the card and there is nothing more un-vintage than Doris with one r. You should convince her to change her name to Dorris so she can be vintage like us.
How about Hortense? I discovered my old english teacher’s name from delivering a note for her to the office and it was on her stationary. So Hortense MUST be on the list since I’ve seen it on other old timey staionary
But if we’re going to cover the market, we need some for boys as well. See what you can do about getting some with Edward, Jacob and Horatio on them (and no shortening it to ‘Eddie’)!
Some of my roleplaying friends were in a game once where every single player named their character some permutation of Cheese Bread. I remember Edam Baguette, Roquefort Focaccia and Stilton Granary.
Haters; I had to wait 23 years of my life to get my name on something”personalized”, and another 2 to get my nickname, (which I like better)!
All of the other Abigail’s on Etsy probably banded together to “favorite” this item until it was creamy enough to catch an Etsy Admin’s attention. LONG LIVE THE ABIGAILS!
The Lady of the Lake, of course! You know…Monty Python and the Holy Grail:
(Dennis to King Arthur) “Oh, but you can’t expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you.”
Oh, bite me – find me shit with “Deanna” on it, then we’ll talk.
Hell, nowadays – I can’t find my sons’ names on personalized shit – and they’re Joseph and Alexander. I blame it on all the fucking special snowflake names…
Aiden, Jayden, Kaitlyn, Hayden, Hayleigh, Brayden, Kaylee, Caiden. Phew! Imagine the poor elementary school teacher who has to do THAT roll call 5 days a week. Hopefully there are some Mackenzies, Sophias or Briannas to break the monotony. Well, not really, because those names always come in pairs!
My daughter’s name is Daelynn, which I thought unique until I was yelling at her to stop hiding in clothes racks in Target 5 years ago and some mom came up to me all excited and was like “Wow, that’s my son’s name!” ………. the fuck? Still makes me cringe. This year we have to deal with Daelynn, Daylen, Kaitlin, Kaylin, and Jayden in the same place. :s
Apparently I never spoke to any soon-to-be-moms when I was one. At least her personality is big enough to stand out. >.>
I’d feel fucking hip with your pear painting. But then I’m just another talentless fat pathetic loser like you and since I sell nothing personalized OR photographed on bloody fucking barnwood my life is over.
I really dig the pear, too. And shut the front door over the Red Fish wristlet and the Marie Antoinette bag, CrossedPromise! As a fellow non-talented, pathetic loser, I tip my proverbial hat to the both of you.
If I win the MegaMillions tonight, I’m buying all your fruit and veggie art for my dream kitchen in the house I plan to buy (haven’t yet decided if I take the husband with me)…
Hell, I am a glorified junk dealer and I can’t even get this kind of props. I have notebook paper all over the house. If only I had known. Lets go cry at the bar together.
Well, not everyone has Courier 10 installed on their computer, and a colour printer, you know. NOT EVERYONE IN THE WORLD COULD MAKE THIS IF THEY CHOSE TO.
and when you do write your damned recipes down you better damned well not make one penmanship error or you just tossed 2 bucks in the crapper that you coulda spent on the dollar menu at Burger King. But you know the penmanship will be good because all those fucking Abigails have great penmanship. I hate them so much. Stuck up ^&%$# *&^&%$ !#@^^%$#@!
This post brought a smile to my otherwise kind of downer of a day — so, Thank You, Helen! I am laughing and hoping not to piss myself while thinking about notebook paper.
Okay, someone is lame/deluded/corrupt enough to try and flog this shit. I can accept that as an aspect of our imperfect world. But front page? When there is so much epic stuff on Etsy (hidden ‘mongst the resellers and cupcakes)?
Okay, we need a set of those cards in the Regretsy Store…maybe the folks who had the Hobo Wedding could send out their thank you notes on Whimsical Fuckery notecards.
If I had unlimited money for fucking around with people for no good reason, I would order these with increasingly weird things until they refused to fill them. I wonder what a good progression would be so see how far someone is willing to go. Goatse would have to be a few stages in.
Have you seen Jimmy Carr’s act, The Most Offensive Joke in the World in which he slowly ramps up the jokes to see how far he gets before the audience turns on him? Epic. And he gets a lot further inching up than he would dropping a bomb from the get go.
My neighbor, Abigail Paper-Mate, always has the coolest stationary. These cards are sure to look marvelous next to her personalized ballpoint pen collection — I don’t know where she finds this stuff!
As will I. I normally don’t get too butthurt over this crap, as it’s mostly hilarious, but once in awhile I get pissed…. I make jewelry that can sometimes take up to a month or more to make, but these shitheads make the front page.
Pfft, while we all know Etsy is all about avoiding originality like the plague hat only affects hipsters, it could sell even better with an extra flair: Use “Abby” instead.
Come to my Etsy shop. I’m selling traditional vintage pencils for just $35. But WAIT! There is more! It’s laying on a wood table. http://www.etsy/urafuckingidiot.
that’s ridiculous. First, things like “mochi” and “tempeh” are listed under “dairy.” Second, I’m vegan and I think I know the typical foods – no one eats kasha (kasha?!) – but vegans fucking love hummus and chickpeas (don’t ask, I don’t know).
also… I think people know how to write their own grocery lists. Just sayin’.
But the envelopes match. And it comes in a clear box. You can even get shimmery white.
or order one of her thank you cards or stationary. You could make that shit on a like a dozen other sites and have it sent to your house cheaper but it wouldn’t be handmade bitches! Also it wouldn’t come in a clear box. Totally worth it. Jealous much!
I think I can forgive you this one time. Besides, I’m working on a new idea now. I’m going to make stationery with the name all over the paper. That way I can write a letter with me all over it.
“Dear Abigail Grandma,
Camp is Abigail really fun. Yesterday we went hiking Abigail up Mount Fuckery. It Abigail was really tiring Abigail, but the view from the Abigail top was breathAbigailtaking.”
HK is a genius. I’m going to start marketing my Etsy store like that. “You want something to write with? Look at this motherfucking pen! This ain’t yo granddaddy’s quill, it’s a goddamn ballpoint is what it is! That shit automatically spreads its own fucking ink! And it’s made of some motherfucking kickass wood, not that shitty plastic fuck from Walmart! You get a motherfucking pen that has “ball” AND “wood” in the description for only twenty goddamn dollars! You ain’t gonna see that fucking shit down at the corner store! Fuck yeah!”
I don’t know– I think this deserves some sort of fuckery award. Like the Regretsy “You’ve Got Balls” award, cause man- they have some serious cajones to be charging that kind of money for this shit. And probably laughing all the way to the bank after it gets featured on the front page.
So congratulations sir and/or madam- You’ve Got Balls
Makes me wonder why I bothered going to school to know how to make good looking shit when I have gotten away with using ugly generic Windows typefaces and fucking index cards. It’s almost as bad as the mom down the street telling everyone she’s a professional photographer because she knows how to click the shutter.
I swear to fucking god April, if you get any fucking funnier I am not only going to have to a) pee my jeans, but also b) build you some kind of monument to awesome. Crease and desist, woman! XD
OK, what happened? This was in response to Amazon’s comment about her themed wedding and now her post is gone…was it because of the stated theme? If that’s the case, April, you can delete mine as well.
Im scared someone hold me
August 2, 2011 at 11:52 am
oh come now guy and gals lets give this person a chance..maybe she can make up for it if she tapes a HUGE ass mustache and a few paper clips to the sides..or better yet how about if she attaches the mustache WITH the paperclips, then she can make room for some Bejeweled Safety Pins along the bottom. NOW that is my idea of some Bad ass stationary!!
I read that as “huge ass-mustache” rather than “huge-ass mustache” and I nearly choked to death on a cheese nip as a result of the image conjured. Well played, well played indeed.
It would be cool if they would fill in the rest of my correspondence for me. Since we’re being lazy about writing our own names, why not let the etsy stranger fill in the rest of the blanks? Type up my recipes and notes to my mom and stuff.
My mom won’t know who abigail is, but she just throws my letters away unread anyway.
Now that’s the attitude for Etsy Success!! I’ve been doing it all wrong this whole time! It’s not ‘ruined’, it’s ‘uniquely beautiful.’ It’s not ‘garbage’, it’s ‘upcycled treasure.’
So, I have a pile of index cards that my mom used for her notes for a historical novel, mostly typed, mostly bibliographical information with perhaps a quote or two; some hand-written.
I was using them for scrap paper, but do you think I could sell them for a couple of bucks each?
So if I just gratuitously and promiscuously used that “This made it to the front page of Etsy” graphic on my listings, without the item actually making it to the front page, do you think anyone would notice or care?
I think everyone is underestimating the importance of index cards in today’s world. I mean yes, we live in an increasingly paperless society that limits the usefulness of the index card…and OK, I suppose personalised index cards wouldn’t help you index anything except maybe an extensive collection of photographs of yourself that you don’t wish to differentiate in any way…
But we needn’t be so literal- they can be used for so many other things! Maybe not something as pedestrian as ‘study notes’, ‘shopping lists’ or anything vaguely useful. BUT these index cards really come into their own when you need to write a ‘note to self’ WITHOUT the hassle of writing your name twice (and we all know what that’s like, am I right?).
Guys, guys, guys. Calm down. My students are going to practice their cursive penmanship for you and we will sell our index cards for $10. That’s HALF off! And, it’s a real steal since it is in cursive and all. So much more professional.
So, this isn’t even a FULL sheet of paper? It’s just large note card sized? And 10 cards with 10 envelopes for $20? That’s a dollar per card and envelope. You can get a 100 pack of large note cards for $1 at the dollar store. I think I’d rather pay $0.01 per note card and just write my name at the bottom of the note card, you know … where it actually belongs.
Do they even regulate that “This item made it to the front page of etsy” things? What would stop me from just opening a shop and putting that on all my listings?
I would like a set of your notecards. Please personalize with my name , Richard Smoker. If at all possible, could you please work in my nickname “Big Dick”.
I’m poor, so I buy my designer knockoff stationary at the dollar store. I have to use my ink-jet printer to put my name on the stationary, or on some days, just my hand and a pen. I’m such a wannabe.
Ah April, it’s posts like this that make me want to track you down, stalk you and become your best friend. That’s how stalking always ends, right? In bestfriendmenship. <—I just made up that word…for you…because I love you.
Haha, I know who codeslave is – he used to (probably still does) work on a mildly-amusing “comedy” site whose most popular feature was a completely unmoderated message board where people were insanely cruel to one another 24/7. All in the name of fun, of course. Talk about hypocrisy.
What’s the chance that we could see utensils with our names on them in the future? I love that idea since my kids are always hiding the forks and knives in the house. Kinda scary about the knives, recently we had to switch over to just butter knives and get rid of the steak knives with our 6 yr old boy who is “experimenting”…LOL
August 2, 2011 at 10:59 am
That courier typeface makes me want to cream my jeans.
August 2, 2011 at 11:01 am
Better than Comic Sans.
August 2, 2011 at 11:10 am
Better than Papyrus?
August 2, 2011 at 12:40 pm
THANK YOU! What is with Papyrus?! I make invitations (sometimes) and people eat papyrus up! I don’t get it…
August 2, 2011 at 12:56 pm
I’d still take Papyrus over Comic Sans.
August 2, 2011 at 1:35 pm
Comic Sans and Papyrus need to have a fight to the death, that would be the only way to accurately decide which is “better” of the two.
August 2, 2011 at 1:55 pm
Comic Sans and Papyrus need to have a fight to the desth, yes. Winner gets summarily beheaded.
August 2, 2011 at 5:18 pm
See, I kinda like Papyrus, or did until everyfuckingbody used it for everyfuckingthing…
August 2, 2011 at 9:24 pm
littlewidget, I like(d) Papyrus, too. So much so that years ago when I had my business logo designed, I okayed the use of Papyrus for the name. Now, I am just ashamed to use it because I know people hate it so much.
August 3, 2011 at 1:26 am
I’m sorry to say I did the same for my business… thanks to Vista Print, papyrus is slowly eeking it’s way out the door.
August 3, 2011 at 9:47 am
I used to work in a library. Just browse the religious section: Papyrus EVERYTHING. I even saw a children’s bible book, and the title font with Papyrus… colored in HOT PINK!!!
Yeah. I’m a graphic designer for my day job, and you would not catch me using that font for ANYTHING. X-P
August 7, 2011 at 10:59 am
My reasons for hating papyrus are due to how it does NOT translate well to embroidery… you get a product that looks like it was badly created instead of intentional. And yet folks keep using it in their logos… Those notches are NOT your friend.
August 2, 2011 at 11:47 am
Death before Comic Sans.
August 2, 2011 at 1:27 pm
As I’ve read elsewhere… Comic Sans is the herpes of fonts.
August 2, 2011 at 1:39 pm
Cake or death?
August 2, 2011 at 1:44 pm
Cake please!
August 2, 2011 at 1:47 pm
Chiller. I will never EVER be okay with the use of the “Chiller” font.
August 2, 2011 at 1:49 pm
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August 2, 2011 at 1:50 pm
Shit, it didn’t work. Ignore me.
August 2, 2011 at 3:01 pm
Well, we’re out of cake! We only had three bits and we didn’t expect such a rush…
August 2, 2011 at 3:34 pm
I’ll take the chicken, please.
August 3, 2011 at 1:08 pm
Comic Sans responds: http://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/im-comic-sans-asshole
August 2, 2011 at 2:00 pm
She should have used the “Twilight” font if she really wanted to money.
August 2, 2011 at 2:01 pm
*make* money.
August 2, 2011 at 2:06 pm
I like the use of “money” as a verb.
August 3, 2011 at 6:15 am
What, so my choice is, ‘or death’?
August 3, 2011 at 11:49 am
Well pretty much anything beats Comic Sans.
August 2, 2011 at 11:10 am
I’m sorry, but that’s NOT courier font. It’s obviously “Urban Hammer Key Rough Fragment Carbon Chunk 1942.”
August 3, 2011 at 7:49 am
Ahem, I believe you mean “Urban Hammer Key Rough Fragment Carbon Chunk 1943″. No one uses the 1942 version anymore. Not even ironically.
August 2, 2011 at 11:18 am
I just sent this to my friend Abby, who loves crafting. I’m sure she’ll buy like a thousand of them.
August 2, 2011 at 12:02 pm
Bitch gonna be writin’ her shit all straight and shit!
BOIIIII!
August 2, 2011 at 11:46 am
Meh, I’m more of a Times New Roman girl myself.August 2, 2011 at 2:53 pm
Garamond all the way!
August 2, 2011 at 5:18 pm
Garamond 3 Italic here.
August 2, 2011 at 5:57 pm
Book Antiqua
August 2, 2011 at 7:04 pm
Adelaide, o Adelaide, you’re round and square, you’re always there, o Adelaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaide!
August 3, 2011 at 9:48 am
Technic Lite and University Roman. *love*
August 3, 2011 at 11:16 am
Partial to Baker Signet myself and Avenir for client work a lot of the time (jr. level designer)
August 3, 2011 at 2:17 pm
verdana <3
August 2, 2011 at 10:59 am
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August 2, 2011 at 1:37 pm
unless someone just came in your eye, we don’t want to hear about it
August 2, 2011 at 7:58 pm
…and even then, we still might probably don’t to hear about it.
August 3, 2011 at 7:42 am
Speak for yourself, dude.
.
Soooo, Helloheath…DID someone come in your eye? We’re all friends here.
August 2, 2011 at 5:07 pm
If overpriced stationery causes you that kind of distress, I recommend leaving this site now and never coming back. You will stroke out fatally within the next few posts.
August 2, 2011 at 11:00 am
made my day.
August 2, 2011 at 11:00 am
They really have the Abigail market sewed up, but can I get it in other names?
August 2, 2011 at 11:05 am
I’ll be naming my secondborn Abigail, then when she’s 18 she can get this stuff and it’ll be VINTAGE, if it’s not already…
August 2, 2011 at 12:05 pm
They have correctly anticipated an Abigail boom. Shit’s gonna make them rich, as long as the Dollar Tree down the street stays open!
August 2, 2011 at 11:05 am
NO MOTHERFUCKER JUST ABIGAIL
August 2, 2011 at 11:09 am
The “authenticity process” actually coats the cards with an impermeable varnish. You can’t actually write on them. IDIOTS.
August 2, 2011 at 11:15 am
Fuck Abigail and her fucking special-ass paper.
August 2, 2011 at 11:43 am
Can’t I just fuck Abigail on the barnwood and be done with it?
August 2, 2011 at 12:05 pm
haters gonna hate
August 2, 2011 at 2:08 pm
I think it looks a bit stiff to be used on ones ass. (Unless you like that kind of thing)
August 2, 2011 at 12:17 pm
Cut him some slack, Jack! Chump don’ want no abigail, chump don’t GET da’ abigail!
August 2, 2011 at 1:36 pm
Abigail’s momma din’t raise no dummy.
August 2, 2011 at 1:45 pm
I dug Abigail’s rap.
August 2, 2011 at 12:58 pm
Abigail’s not here man.
August 2, 2011 at 1:45 pm
Neither is Dave.
August 3, 2011 at 7:44 am
I’m 6′-1″, male and hairy as an Indian rug, but fuggit…I’m changing my name legally to ABIGAIL in that FONT.
August 2, 2011 at 1:03 pm
Well, since Abigail is a bit of ‘vintage’ name, they probably have only other ‘vintage’ names.
Now available in:
Myrtle, Getrude & Dorris
August 2, 2011 at 1:46 pm
Could I get it with some family names? That’s vintage right? Valda and Vina please.
August 2, 2011 at 3:16 pm
I’ll take Veda, Vaydon, and Odelene please.
August 2, 2011 at 1:52 pm
My mom’s name is Doris…do you think she’d notice the extra “r,” or do I need to custom order?
August 3, 2011 at 7:54 am
Sorry, no custom orders. If the name is not deemed vintage enough it isn’t going on the card and there is nothing more un-vintage than Doris with one r. You should convince her to change her name to Dorris so she can be vintage like us.
Sincerely,
Ethel
August 2, 2011 at 2:37 pm
How about Hortense? I discovered my old english teacher’s name from delivering a note for her to the office and it was on her stationary. So Hortense MUST be on the list since I’ve seen it on other old timey staionary
August 3, 2011 at 7:45 am
Sorry, MarchHare; one does not simply make a Hortense. Unless you try french-kissing her during your “session”.
August 2, 2011 at 4:14 pm
How about Bertha. Would love some Bertha action!
August 2, 2011 at 8:51 pm
But if we’re going to cover the market, we need some for boys as well. See what you can do about getting some with Edward, Jacob and Horatio on them (and no shortening it to ‘Eddie’)!
August 3, 2011 at 6:09 pm
We need Muriel, right Helen?
August 2, 2011 at 1:14 pm
I’d like to order some with the name VAGINA COCKHARD
August 2, 2011 at 1:20 pm
Just choked on my ice cream, thanks for that!!
August 2, 2011 at 1:47 pm
Rhoda Hardman
August 2, 2011 at 2:10 pm
A friend of mine had “Dear Fuckface” notepaper. I was SO jealous.
August 2, 2011 at 2:38 pm
that’s pronounced Vageena Coke-har of course
August 2, 2011 at 2:58 pm
Of course! Just like how “Shithead” is pronounced “shith-AID”.
August 2, 2011 at 9:24 pm
I’m gonna steal from Josh and request “Beardneck McFuckface”
August 3, 2011 at 7:46 am
BLAKE THUNDERCOCKK
August 3, 2011 at 7:47 am
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August 3, 2011 at 7:47 am
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August 3, 2011 at 7:47 am
ELASTIC SNAPHOLE OF THE LOVE BEAR
August 3, 2011 at 8:50 pm
Some of my roleplaying friends were in a game once where every single player named their character some permutation of Cheese Bread. I remember Edam Baguette, Roquefort Focaccia and Stilton Granary.
The GM of the game did not notice.
August 2, 2011 at 5:21 pm
And can you change the size of the spell?
August 2, 2011 at 11:00 am
Did the just choose the first name in the baby book when deciding what name to use?
August 2, 2011 at 11:15 am
Haters; I had to wait 23 years of my life to get my name on something”personalized”, and another 2 to get my nickname, (which I like better)!
All of the other Abigail’s on Etsy probably banded together to “favorite” this item until it was creamy enough to catch an Etsy Admin’s attention. LONG LIVE THE ABIGAILS!
August 2, 2011 at 11:30 am
So what is the nickname for WateryTart?
August 2, 2011 at 11:43 am
Moistened Bint?
August 2, 2011 at 11:55 am
The Lady of the Lake, of course! You know…Monty Python and the Holy Grail:
(Dennis to King Arthur) “Oh, but you can’t expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you.”
August 2, 2011 at 3:37 pm
Help! Help! I’m being oppressed! Come and see the violence inherent in the system!
August 3, 2011 at 8:52 pm
Supreme executive power comes from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony!
August 2, 2011 at 1:56 pm
Oh, bite me – find me shit with “Deanna” on it, then we’ll talk.
Hell, nowadays – I can’t find my sons’ names on personalized shit – and they’re Joseph and Alexander. I blame it on all the fucking special snowflake names…
August 2, 2011 at 3:08 pm
I’ll bet you can find 12 spellings of Jayden, though.
August 2, 2011 at 3:18 pm
How about how there are fifty different ways to spell Caitlyn. My sister has never had anything with her name on it!
August 2, 2011 at 3:48 pm
Aiden, Jayden, Kaitlyn, Hayden, Hayleigh, Brayden, Kaylee, Caiden. Phew! Imagine the poor elementary school teacher who has to do THAT roll call 5 days a week. Hopefully there are some Mackenzies, Sophias or Briannas to break the monotony. Well, not really, because those names always come in pairs!
August 2, 2011 at 3:52 pm
But hey, at least there’s stuff for Kaiden, Kayden, Khaydhen AND Caiydyen, right??
August 2, 2011 at 9:44 pm
My daughter’s name is Daelynn, which I thought unique until I was yelling at her to stop hiding in clothes racks in Target 5 years ago and some mom came up to me all excited and was like “Wow, that’s my son’s name!” ………. the fuck? Still makes me cringe. This year we have to deal with Daelynn, Daylen, Kaitlin, Kaylin, and Jayden in the same place. :s
Apparently I never spoke to any soon-to-be-moms when I was one. At least her personality is big enough to stand out. >.>
August 3, 2011 at 8:28 am
Try finding Randi, it doesn’t exist. Let’s hear it for the girls with boys names?
August 3, 2011 at 8:54 pm
It’s only been fairly recently that I’ve been able to find personalised stuff with my name on it.
What’s my extremely unusual and complicated weirdo name? Anna.
August 2, 2011 at 11:17 am
No, the first name is the book is actually Abba
August 2, 2011 at 11:41 am
Aaron
August 2, 2011 at 11:51 am
Aardvark.
August 2, 2011 at 12:11 pm
Nah, the first name in the book is AAAAA1 Auto Repair.
August 2, 2011 at 1:54 pm
Don’t special characters come before letters? I think The Artist Formerly Known As Prince would be atop that list.
August 2, 2011 at 11:00 am
Don’t they know hipsters want the brown penmanship paper?
August 2, 2011 at 11:06 am
With the dotted lines so you can differentiate between capitals and lowercase, because making all your letters the same size is so f’n mainstream.
August 2, 2011 at 11:01 am
I give the fuck up.
I con-fucking-cede defeat.
My piddly little Esty shop will never have anything as hip and cool as an index card!
Gonna go close down my store and weep in defeat like the pathetic loser I am.
August 2, 2011 at 11:08 am
Kind of off topic, but I visited your store and you are really fucking talented.
August 2, 2011 at 11:16 am
SHHH!!!! Don’t tell anyone! I have to be a fat jealous loser who can’t craft good to be on Regretsy! Everyone NOT on Regretsy knows that!
(Thank you so much!)
August 2, 2011 at 1:58 pm
No you don’t! You have to be a fat jealous loser who appreciates a good laugh, and has real skills. We only make fun and snark at those who suck!!
August 2, 2011 at 11:43 am
For real. And she’s my neighbor.
August 2, 2011 at 11:13 am
I’d feel fucking hip with your pear painting. But then I’m just another talentless fat pathetic loser like you and since I sell nothing personalized OR photographed on bloody fucking barnwood my life is over.
August 2, 2011 at 11:17 am
Yeah. Your monster bags are a mess! Which is why I may have to buy one. So that no one else is subjected to the horrors!
August 2, 2011 at 11:19 am
She’s amazingly talented. And you forgot “jealous.” We’re fat, jealous losers. I’m jealous of this : http://www.etsy.com/listing/75210438/painting-no-7-the-red-wall-giclee-print and I may have to shell out the $15 for it.
August 2, 2011 at 1:05 pm
I really dig the pear, too. And shut the front door over the Red Fish wristlet and the Marie Antoinette bag, CrossedPromise! As a fellow non-talented, pathetic loser, I tip my proverbial hat to the both of you.
August 2, 2011 at 3:04 pm
If I win the MegaMillions tonight, I’m buying all your fruit and veggie art for my dream kitchen in the house I plan to buy (haven’t yet decided if I take the husband with me)…
August 2, 2011 at 11:14 am
please please please don’t close your shop down.. it’s wonderful art, compared to this dreck ;D
August 2, 2011 at 1:40 pm
Hell, I am a glorified junk dealer and I can’t even get this kind of props. I have notebook paper all over the house. If only I had known. Lets go cry at the bar together.
August 2, 2011 at 8:59 pm
Do you have anything in a strawberry?
August 2, 2011 at 11:01 am
Well, not everyone has Courier 10 installed on their computer, and a colour printer, you know. NOT EVERYONE IN THE WORLD COULD MAKE THIS IF THEY CHOSE TO.
August 2, 2011 at 11:11 am
Oh man, I have a typewriter. You know what that means, right? I could FUCKING TYPE ABIGAIL on an index card.
INSTANT VINTAGE!
August 2, 2011 at 11:26 am
Back the hell up, Basil! You forgot STEAMPUNK. If you use a typewriter, it’s also Steampunk. Instant Etsy cred, and a shot at the front page.
August 2, 2011 at 1:06 pm
You could take one of the keys and bend it out of place a little bit so the letters don’t all line up–you would be rolling in gravy, my friend.
August 2, 2011 at 12:57 pm
Not even a color printer. There are ruled index cards, but of course, there’s no fancy “Abigail” on them.
August 2, 2011 at 11:01 am
$20 for 10 cards? you are fucking shitting me.
August 2, 2011 at 11:12 am
I know, right? SUCH a bargain!
August 2, 2011 at 11:57 am
well, she did have to put each card into her typewriter, and type a seven-letter name correctly each time. That’s hard work.
August 2, 2011 at 1:59 pm
It is on etsy, apparently…
August 2, 2011 at 12:11 pm
and when you do write your damned recipes down you better damned well not make one penmanship error or you just tossed 2 bucks in the crapper that you coulda spent on the dollar menu at Burger King. But you know the penmanship will be good because all those fucking Abigails have great penmanship. I hate them so much. Stuck up ^&%$# *&^&%$ !#@^^%$#@!
August 2, 2011 at 11:01 am
And April makes use of one of my favorite memes. I am pleased.
August 2, 2011 at 11:02 am
*eye twitch*
I. hate. you. Etsy. SO MUCH.
August 2, 2011 at 11:02 am
This post brought a smile to my otherwise kind of downer of a day — so, Thank You, Helen! I am laughing and hoping not to piss myself while thinking about notebook paper.
August 2, 2011 at 11:03 am
IF IT’S NOT COLLEGE-RULED THEN FUCK NO!
August 2, 2011 at 11:06 am
hahaha, I all could think of is (said with a Keanu voice) College rules dude
August 2, 2011 at 11:03 am
smh… this makes the front page?
August 2, 2011 at 12:22 pm
That’s the straw that blew my mind.
Okay, someone is lame/deluded/corrupt enough to try and flog this shit. I can accept that as an aspect of our imperfect world. But front page? When there is so much epic stuff on Etsy (hidden ‘mongst the resellers and cupcakes)?
Shoot me now.
August 2, 2011 at 9:01 pm
Apparently this person is cornering the market on products for those too inept to use a printer.
August 2, 2011 at 11:04 am
You think they’d make a GOATSE header on there?
August 2, 2011 at 11:05 am
Or could I convince them that my name is Whimsicle Fuckery? Oh. Shit. I think I just blew my own goddamn mind.
August 2, 2011 at 11:36 am
Sure you can get this personalized the way you like, sliptheflitch.
Your real name is Whimsi C. LeFuckery, right? Easy-peasy.
August 2, 2011 at 12:23 pm
I know what I want for Christmas!!!!
August 2, 2011 at 11:51 am
I was kind of hoping to convince them to personalize mine as Jesus H. Christ…
August 2, 2011 at 12:04 pm
Just tell them your parents were hippies. Or nostalgic beatniks.
August 2, 2011 at 3:06 pm
Okay, we need a set of those cards in the Regretsy Store…maybe the folks who had the Hobo Wedding could send out their thank you notes on Whimsical Fuckery notecards.
August 2, 2011 at 11:05 am
You supply that part yourself. CRAF TING.
August 2, 2011 at 11:20 am
If I had unlimited money for fucking around with people for no good reason, I would order these with increasingly weird things until they refused to fill them. I wonder what a good progression would be so see how far someone is willing to go. Goatse would have to be a few stages in.
August 2, 2011 at 12:25 pm
Have you seen Jimmy Carr’s act, The Most Offensive Joke in the World in which he slowly ramps up the jokes to see how far he gets before the audience turns on him? Epic. And he gets a lot further inching up than he would dropping a bomb from the get go.
August 2, 2011 at 12:33 pm
I am sure as long as you paid, they would craft them.
August 2, 2011 at 11:05 am
My neighbor, Abigail Paper-Mate, always has the coolest stationary. These cards are sure to look marvelous next to her personalized ballpoint pen collection — I don’t know where she finds this stuff!
August 2, 2011 at 11:15 am
I’m totally going to change my name to Sanford Prismacolor so I can steal my classmates’ art supplies and then claim they are RIGHTFULLY MINE.
August 2, 2011 at 11:20 am
Sanford Prismacolor – love it. Great band name too.
August 2, 2011 at 11:05 am
At only $2 per index card, this is a steal!
August 2, 2011 at 1:57 pm
Theft seems an apt description.
August 3, 2011 at 7:50 am
I wonder if she’d type my name on $2 bills…double bonus.
August 2, 2011 at 11:06 am
If you need me, I’ll be in the corner weeping quietly.
August 2, 2011 at 11:49 am
As will I. I normally don’t get too butthurt over this crap, as it’s mostly hilarious, but once in awhile I get pissed…. I make jewelry that can sometimes take up to a month or more to make, but these shitheads make the front page.
K. Back to the snark.
August 2, 2011 at 1:43 pm
I am with you on this one too.
August 2, 2011 at 3:04 pm
With George Harrison’s guitar.
August 2, 2011 at 9:06 pm
Screw quietly… I think this calls for heart wrenching sobs that cause the neighbors to call the cops.
August 2, 2011 at 11:07 am
The name actually looks photoshopped to me.
The price, the front page, the item … my mind has boggled and now I have a headache.
August 2, 2011 at 11:30 am
The good news is that you could use these PERSONALIZED paper-cut makers to let out some blood. You’ll completely forget you even have a headache!
August 2, 2011 at 11:35 am
Useful for blood-letting, huh? I guess that would make it vintage, too. No wonder it made the front page, it can be used multi-purpose!
August 2, 2011 at 1:02 pm
August 2, 2011 at 11:08 am
For me, it’s Big Chief Tablet or GTFO!!
August 2, 2011 at 11:09 am
Pitch this to Levenger! They’ll eat that shit up! They’ll also display it with a fucking $200 fountain pen.
August 2, 2011 at 11:14 am
And offer a customized leather portfolio to carry your valuable, one-of-a-kind personalized cards.
August 2, 2011 at 2:05 pm
Ten of a kind, technically.
August 2, 2011 at 11:10 am
Holy crap, someone still has an IBM Selectric typewriter and is typing these out? that’s funny stuff. I think I just had a font orgasm..
August 2, 2011 at 11:10 am
I should list sheets from my spiral notebooks from college, since the doodles I drew in the margins will be quite profitable.
August 2, 2011 at 11:13 am
Only if you put the name Abigail somewhere on it.
August 2, 2011 at 11:32 am
Pfft, while we all know Etsy is all about avoiding originality like the plague hat only affects hipsters, it could sell even better with an extra flair: Use “Abby” instead.
August 2, 2011 at 11:11 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
August 2, 2011 at 11:12 am
Come to my Etsy shop. I’m selling traditional vintage pencils for just $35. But WAIT! There is more! It’s laying on a wood table. http://www.etsy/urafuckingidiot.
August 2, 2011 at 11:14 am
Are they number two, pencils?
August 2, 2011 at 11:59 am
Number 2 is a little…mainstream.
I’m a number 6 pencil person myself.
August 2, 2011 at 12:37 pm
You and me, both. I even went to Etsy and typed in “urafuckingidiot” in Search.
August 2, 2011 at 2:00 pm
I prefer the 2 1/2 myself.
August 2, 2011 at 11:19 am
I…actually clicked that link to go see what I imagined would be a snarky fake listing or something.
http://www.etsy.com/imafuckingidiot
August 2, 2011 at 11:21 am
Damn, I was hoping both of these shops actually existed.
August 2, 2011 at 12:37 pm
Amazon, I replied to this…but it ended up above. I don’t know why, either.
August 3, 2011 at 8:53 am
Now now, don’t be ridiculous! I’m far too stupid to make a link. Why, just this morning I nearly bought vintage chalk tied with twine for $15.
August 2, 2011 at 1:55 pm
I was so hopeful that I clicked that link!
August 2, 2011 at 11:13 am
April, I love you so much I would be gay for you.
August 2, 2011 at 11:29 am
Get in line sister.
August 2, 2011 at 11:13 am
My life is complete now.
August 2, 2011 at 11:15 am
LINED PAPER WOULD BE SO USEFUL OMG. WHERE DO I GET?
August 2, 2011 at 11:16 am
Holy shit, ya’ll, it’s PAPER designed to look like PAPER. And it made the FRONT PAGE OF ETSY, so you know it is quality.
August 2, 2011 at 11:16 am
I bet this shit ends up in FOUND magazine. What’s next? Printed grocery lists?
August 2, 2011 at 11:37 am
View the full listing here
August 2, 2011 at 12:15 pm
Cardboard should be added to that list.
August 2, 2011 at 12:31 pm
“This list also has plenty of blank lines for your write in needs. Makes shopping fun and easy!”
Or you could just write it all on a blank sheet.
Just saying.
Now, if someone came up with some crafty item that let my list travel on its own and meet me at the store when I forget it at home, I’d buy a dozen.
August 2, 2011 at 1:59 pm
First, used envelopes are the green way to go. Second, I think I need to modify their “Vegetarian Vegan Grocery List.”
My blanks would have “steak, chicken, and cheese.” And of course “cole slaw” and “kale.”
August 3, 2011 at 11:46 am
I would totally buy a list that put the groceries away for me afterwards. Anything less, and it is ‘No Sale’.
August 2, 2011 at 1:13 pm
that’s ridiculous. First, things like “mochi” and “tempeh” are listed under “dairy.” Second, I’m vegan and I think I know the typical foods – no one eats kasha (kasha?!) – but vegans fucking love hummus and chickpeas (don’t ask, I don’t know).
also… I think people know how to write their own grocery lists. Just sayin’.
August 2, 2011 at 2:00 pm
Hummus is mostly chickpeas, but it is so good! It’s like crack. I can’t just have a little, and I keep buying more!
August 2, 2011 at 2:08 pm
Geez. Don’t people use their cell phones for this stuff anymore?
August 2, 2011 at 3:10 pm
There’s an App for that now — got to admit I use it on my phone because I never go anywhere without it so I always have my list with me.
August 2, 2011 at 11:16 am
But the envelopes match. And it comes in a clear box. You can even get shimmery white.
or order one of her thank you cards or stationary. You could make that shit on a like a dozen other sites and have it sent to your house cheaper but it wouldn’t be handmade bitches! Also it wouldn’t come in a clear box. Totally worth it. Jealous much!
August 2, 2011 at 11:18 am
also its a fun way to personalized your correspondence
August 2, 2011 at 11:22 am
Know what else is a fun way to personalize your correspondence? Sign your name at the bottom!
August 2, 2011 at 11:23 am
“Personalized.” Oh hell, I totally missed that.
August 2, 2011 at 11:18 am
Damn it! All this time I’ve been putting my name at the BOTTOM of my stationery to personalize it. This is so much more innovative!
August 2, 2011 at 11:23 am
Frack, sorry tiny giraffe. I should have looked one comment below. :/
August 2, 2011 at 11:29 am
I think I can forgive you this one time. Besides, I’m working on a new idea now. I’m going to make stationery with the name all over the paper. That way I can write a letter with me all over it.
“Dear Abigail Grandma,
Camp is Abigail really fun. Yesterday we went hiking Abigail up Mount Fuckery. It Abigail was really tiring Abigail, but the view from the Abigail top was breathAbigailtaking.”
August 2, 2011 at 11:37 am
and Grandma would be like, “who the fuck’s Abigail?”.
August 2, 2011 at 11:39 am
You owe me a new keyboard for that. LMAO.
August 2, 2011 at 11:19 am
HK is a genius. I’m going to start marketing my Etsy store like that. “You want something to write with? Look at this motherfucking pen! This ain’t yo granddaddy’s quill, it’s a goddamn ballpoint is what it is! That shit automatically spreads its own fucking ink! And it’s made of some motherfucking kickass wood, not that shitty plastic fuck from Walmart! You get a motherfucking pen that has “ball” AND “wood” in the description for only twenty goddamn dollars! You ain’t gonna see that fucking shit down at the corner store! Fuck yeah!”
August 2, 2011 at 11:25 am
I wish I could take credit for this. “Extreme Advertising” is an old meme.
August 2, 2011 at 12:00 pm
And a great one, at that. YOU CAN ROCK FORWARD, YOU CAN ROCK THE FUCK BACKWARD.
August 2, 2011 at 12:15 pm
Is that what one of those advertising awards was for?
August 2, 2011 at 2:10 pm
Yes. Yes, any gathering of communications professionals is a circle jerk second only to Etsy’s main office.
August 2, 2011 at 3:54 pm
Old meme or not, you’re still a genius and that’s only a 43% ass-kissing.
August 2, 2011 at 11:53 am
I really really really like your coffee scoop…next time I have that much moola, I’ll be visiting you!
August 2, 2011 at 11:19 am
My sister, abigail pincus is shitting herself, will love these.
August 2, 2011 at 11:20 am
Oh, Front Page, you torment me so. $8 for a page from an outdated encyclopedia?
August 2, 2011 at 11:22 am
I don’t know– I think this deserves some sort of fuckery award. Like the Regretsy “You’ve Got Balls” award, cause man- they have some serious cajones to be charging that kind of money for this shit. And probably laughing all the way to the bank after it gets featured on the front page.
So congratulations sir and/or madam- You’ve Got Balls
August 2, 2011 at 11:23 am
Makes me wonder why I bothered going to school to know how to make good looking shit when I have gotten away with using ugly generic Windows typefaces and fucking index cards. It’s almost as bad as the mom down the street telling everyone she’s a professional photographer because she knows how to click the shutter.
August 2, 2011 at 11:24 am
Just choked on my coffee and my 4 year old could not comprehend why mommy was having breathing issues over lined paper.
August 2, 2011 at 11:25 am
is anyone else thinking of the scene in American Psycho where they’re all drooling over new business cards?
August 2, 2011 at 12:08 pm
Oh god, it has a watermark.
August 2, 2011 at 11:26 am
Upcycled and handwritten.
Taken on faux wood/ wood finish, because distressed and natural is so last week. Twenty bucks, please.
August 2, 2011 at 12:07 pm
The distressed version for the hobo in you.
August 2, 2011 at 12:09 pm
Jen, you are a crafting genius.
August 2, 2011 at 12:12 pm
But it only comes in jen…right?
August 2, 2011 at 3:33 pm
Of course; it’s OOAK. Better be a damn special letter.
August 2, 2011 at 9:24 pm
Hey! My name is Jen. Well, Jennifer, but sometimes I let people call me Jen. I MUST HAVE THIS!
How much do you want? I will give you my firstborn!
August 3, 2011 at 7:52 am
Tell me you can stamp a name in placental fluids and we are READY TO DO BIZNESS.
August 2, 2011 at 11:27 am
Back the fuck up. Does this come in Helvetica?
August 2, 2011 at 11:29 am
I love targeted advertizing. Woot, barnwood decks!
August 2, 2011 at 12:09 pm
Yes, next you’ll be wanting to build a deck in the backyard so you can place your personalized paper on it to admire it by candle light.
August 2, 2011 at 9:09 pm
Maybe even erect a statue and do weekly sacrifices…
I went too far there, didn’t I?
August 2, 2011 at 11:31 am
I swear to fucking god April, if you get any fucking funnier I am not only going to have to a) pee my jeans, but also b) build you some kind of monument to awesome. Crease and desist, woman! XD
August 2, 2011 at 2:07 pm
I have to look at something else some days to keep from erupting in laughter at the office. Don’t think some people would approve/understand.
August 2, 2011 at 11:32 am
I have to blank this entry because I’m writing about this already and YOU ARE SPOILING THINGS – HK
August 2, 2011 at 11:52 am
Great minds, laurlaur…
August 2, 2011 at 11:53 am
wow, that’s almost as tasteless as the colonial Africa wedding.
August 2, 2011 at 12:08 pm
Ooh–I knew just the seller to do your invitations
http://www.regretsy.com/?s=anne+frank
Oops, she’s not in business anymore. Must have used up all the pages.
Sorry!
August 2, 2011 at 12:15 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
August 2, 2011 at 3:26 pm
I bet she’s already been commissioned for the hobo-themed wedding, and is busy making invites out of pages torn from “Grapes of Wrath.”
August 2, 2011 at 9:10 pm
You are posting the future! Impressive!
August 2, 2011 at 11:33 am
August 2, 2011 at 11:50 am
You’re fucking awesome!
August 2, 2011 at 12:06 pm
sadly, I don’t think the lines helped poor Abigail write nice and strait…
August 2, 2011 at 12:11 pm
Where do you think you are? There’s no calling out here! I’m going to shut down this thread. Thanks!
August 2, 2011 at 12:39 pm
Aww. That’s no fun
The icing on my cupcake isn’t happy anymore.
August 2, 2011 at 12:11 pm
She can’t spell stationEry correctly either. It’s from inahling all the excess glue and varnish on her overpriced etsy goods.
August 2, 2011 at 11:52 am
oh come now guy and gals lets give this person a chance..maybe she can make up for it if she tapes a HUGE ass mustache and a few paper clips to the sides..or better yet how about if she attaches the mustache WITH the paperclips, then she can make room for some Bejeweled Safety Pins along the bottom. NOW that is my idea of some Bad ass stationary!!
August 3, 2011 at 5:11 pm
I read that as “huge ass-mustache” rather than “huge-ass mustache” and I nearly choked to death on a cheese nip as a result of the image conjured. Well played, well played indeed.
August 2, 2011 at 12:08 pm
It would be cool if they would fill in the rest of my correspondence for me. Since we’re being lazy about writing our own names, why not let the etsy stranger fill in the rest of the blanks? Type up my recipes and notes to my mom and stuff.
My mom won’t know who abigail is, but she just throws my letters away unread anyway.
August 2, 2011 at 12:11 pm
THAT would be worth $2/card.
August 2, 2011 at 12:24 pm
Yeah! They could be really generic, like those blank greeting cards with the birds on them like my grandma always gives me.
abigail
Dear Friend/Relative,
Congratulations and/or condolences on your recent event. It is with great pleasure/sadness (circle one) that I think of you during this _______ time.
Best,
August 2, 2011 at 12:27 pm
Or, they could be painfully specific for those times when you expect the unexpected:
“abigail
Dear Jessica Tandy,
Thanks for the hot oral. I can’t believe how many chimps we were able to fit in your shower stall.
Best,”
August 2, 2011 at 12:12 pm
Abigail,
Write your own name out and quit being a lazy twat.
Signed, Etsy Stranger.
August 2, 2011 at 12:14 pm
Shit is so fontastic I just had a forgasm all over my index card stockpile…I’M RUINED!!!
August 2, 2011 at 12:26 pm
If by ruined you mean you just upcycled your index card stockpile!
August 2, 2011 at 1:09 pm
Now that’s the attitude for Etsy Success!! I’ve been doing it all wrong this whole time! It’s not ‘ruined’, it’s ‘uniquely beautiful.’ It’s not ‘garbage’, it’s ‘upcycled treasure.’
I’m going to make a fucking fortune.
August 2, 2011 at 12:16 pm
Okay, so has anyone bought this paper yet? Ya know it’s gonna happen.
August 2, 2011 at 12:19 pm
So, I have a pile of index cards that my mom used for her notes for a historical novel, mostly typed, mostly bibliographical information with perhaps a quote or two; some hand-written.
I was using them for scrap paper, but do you think I could sell them for a couple of bucks each?
August 2, 2011 at 12:26 pm
Are they yellowed with age? Is there any feces or semen on them?
If so, you are sitting on a goldmine.
August 2, 2011 at 12:32 pm
there are no feces or semen on them…YET.
August 2, 2011 at 12:36 pm
That’s the spirit!
August 2, 2011 at 12:21 pm
So if I just gratuitously and promiscuously used that “This made it to the front page of Etsy” graphic on my listings, without the item actually making it to the front page, do you think anyone would notice or care?
August 2, 2011 at 12:39 pm
I suspect the admins would fall on you like a holy terror for having the temerity to mock the utopia that is Etsy.
It would be an interesting experiment, but I can’t counsel anyone who values their shop to try it.
August 2, 2011 at 1:31 pm
what if I made a “shop badge” that said “This did not make it to the front page of Etsy” but it looked exactly like the other one?
August 2, 2011 at 3:27 pm
YES.
August 4, 2011 at 9:00 am
Definitely YES!
August 2, 2011 at 12:26 pm
mad editing skillz.
August 2, 2011 at 12:27 pm
I think everyone is underestimating the importance of index cards in today’s world. I mean yes, we live in an increasingly paperless society that limits the usefulness of the index card…and OK, I suppose personalised index cards wouldn’t help you index anything except maybe an extensive collection of photographs of yourself that you don’t wish to differentiate in any way…
But we needn’t be so literal- they can be used for so many other things! Maybe not something as pedestrian as ‘study notes’, ‘shopping lists’ or anything vaguely useful. BUT these index cards really come into their own when you need to write a ‘note to self’ WITHOUT the hassle of writing your name twice (and we all know what that’s like, am I right?).
For example:
“Gaybriel,
Buy more personalised index cards.
Love and whimsy,
Gaybriel.”
So who’s the dumb one now?
August 2, 2011 at 12:38 pm
Okay, I just laughed so hard at the “jack off” line that I woke up the baby. Damn you, Helen.
August 2, 2011 at 12:39 pm
77 treasuries
what else is there to say?
August 2, 2011 at 12:51 pm
i picture this post being read by the guy from epic meal time
“BACON STRIPS AND BACON STRIPS AND BACON STRIPS AND INDEX CARDS”
August 2, 2011 at 1:04 pm
August 2, 2011 at 1:15 pm
No no, this IS handmade. The cards are upcycled. It used to be an index card with ‘gail’ written on it. The added A & b make this a steal!
August 2, 2011 at 1:50 pm
Guys, guys, guys. Calm down. My students are going to practice their cursive penmanship for you and we will sell our index cards for $10. That’s HALF off! And, it’s a real steal since it is in cursive and all. So much more professional.
Fresh Out of Gold Stars
August 2, 2011 at 1:59 pm
So, this isn’t even a FULL sheet of paper? It’s just large note card sized? And 10 cards with 10 envelopes for $20? That’s a dollar per card and envelope. You can get a 100 pack of large note cards for $1 at the dollar store. I think I’d rather pay $0.01 per note card and just write my name at the bottom of the note card, you know … where it actually belongs.
August 2, 2011 at 2:02 pm
i think april is a little pissy today. maybe?
August 2, 2011 at 9:02 pm
I think this made her pissy.
August 2, 2011 at 2:44 pm
“Criticizing Comic Sans” should be added to the list of Stuff White People Like.
August 2, 2011 at 4:17 pm
I can’t tell if April needs less caffeine or more alcohol.
August 3, 2011 at 7:55 am
That’s why they make Black Russians and Irish Coffee.
August 2, 2011 at 4:47 pm
Do they even regulate that “This item made it to the front page of etsy” things? What would stop me from just opening a shop and putting that on all my listings?
August 2, 2011 at 4:53 pm
Dear Etsy seller,
I would like a set of your notecards. Please personalize with my name , Richard Smoker. If at all possible, could you please work in my nickname “Big Dick”.
Thanks for your attention to this matter.
August 2, 2011 at 6:26 pm
Well there goes my handmade place cards idea. White 3x5s and comic sans font just does not compare to this wizardry.
August 2, 2011 at 6:30 pm
I’m poor, so I buy my designer knockoff stationary at the dollar store. I have to use my ink-jet printer to put my name on the stationary, or on some days, just my hand and a pen. I’m such a wannabe.
August 2, 2011 at 7:04 pm
Ah April, it’s posts like this that make me want to track you down, stalk you and become your best friend. That’s how stalking always ends, right? In bestfriendmenship. <—I just made up that word…for you…because I love you.
August 2, 2011 at 7:25 pm
I require my Abigail stationery to use the actual Abigail font, for obviously obvious reasons!
http://www.fonthead.com/fonts/Abigail
Hmph!
August 2, 2011 at 8:19 pm
Hey…I want a post card, and Abigail is MY NAME! Do I get a discount because you’ve already made up those cards?
August 2, 2011 at 9:12 pm
This post is my favorite on Regretsy so far.
August 2, 2011 at 9:50 pm
It was Abigail’s turn to pick the Etsy Front Page.
August 3, 2011 at 7:47 am
Haha, I know who codeslave is – he used to (probably still does) work on a mildly-amusing “comedy” site whose most popular feature was a completely unmoderated message board where people were insanely cruel to one another 24/7. All in the name of fun, of course. Talk about hypocrisy.
August 3, 2011 at 7:48 am
wtf, this is the wrong post! What happened? Where am I?
August 3, 2011 at 8:58 am
I’m late to the party buuuutttt.
You had me at AMAZEBALLS!!!!
August 3, 2011 at 9:53 am
Gosh, now I know why my stuff have never made the front page – I need to photograph against distressed wood!!!! Duh!
August 3, 2011 at 1:07 pm
I like me some Trebuchet MS…
August 4, 2011 at 11:37 am
sigh, this is why i love you. it was that last line about distressed wood. embarrassed myself in front of coworker. nice.
August 17, 2011 at 10:40 pm
This could be the best invention EVER! Love it!
Now, we just need the same thing on envelopes!
Sammy
My Site: iHeater reviews
September 7, 2011 at 10:23 am
Helen, great find once again!
What’s the chance that we could see utensils with our names on them in the future? I love that idea since my kids are always hiding the forks and knives in the house. Kinda scary about the knives, recently we had to switch over to just butter knives and get rid of the steak knives with our 6 yr old boy who is “experimenting”…LOL
Kids, gotta love them!