Never seen Tub Girl? Don’t say I didn’t warn you

Okay, maybe it doesn’t look like much in the picture, but trust me, it’s pretty hot in person. I wore one of these once, and it was super sexy.

Of course, I was getting an MRI and it was open in the back.

Anyone who ever sold pot in the 80′s had an afghan like this on his bed, so I can only imagine how many deals went down on these pants. You could probably get enough shake out of these for a bong hit.

But you know, that’s how people bought pot back then – they went to some guy’s house. They didn’t have medical marijuana and the dispensaries and the fancy shmancy prescriptions. No, they had to drive out to bumfuck, and sit on some guy’s afghan while he made you a “lid”. And you couldn’t just leave once you got it, because that would be rude. You had to smoke some of it with him, and watch Star Trek for 20 minutes while your friend Debi waited in the car and smoked her mom’s Parliaments.

At least, that’s what I’ve heard.

Oh, I know what you’re saying.

Whatever, whiney pants.

You don’t hear Handcrafts2Door complaining, do you? No you don’t, because their little collective is too busy hand sewing to bitch and moan about “unfair competition”, “factory wholesalers”, “sweatshop labor” and all the other sad little excuses you fat, lazy fuckers keep handing out instead of working.

Turn off Dr. Phil and let’s get going. You work hard enough, you might just see your work on a wholesale website. Then you can quit your day job and move to Brooklyn, where you can drink whiskey on your bicycle and listen to ukelele music.

CC: CHAD DICKAROUND