Waa Waa Waa
Oh, I know what you’re saying.
Whatever, whiney pants.
You don’t hear Handcrafts2Door complaining, do you? No you don’t, because their little collective is too busy hand sewing to bitch and moan about “unfair competition,” “factory wholesalers,” “sweatshop labor,” and all the other sad little excuses you fat, lazy fuckers keep handing out instead of working.
Turn off Dr. Phil and let’s get going. You work hard enough, you might just see your work on a wholesale website. Then you can quit your day job and move to Brooklyn, where you can drink whiskey on your bicycle and listen to ukelele music.
CC: CHAD DICKAROUND
July 28, 2011 at 3:07 pm
Damn, look at all that sheer.
July 28, 2011 at 3:08 pm
DAMN! Look at all that FLOUNCE! This should be the official dress of butthurt.
July 28, 2011 at 3:14 pm
It does kinda remind me of curtains actually.
July 28, 2011 at 8:32 pm
I immediately wondered how many sets of priscilla curtains had to die to make it. And also, who wants a dress with a train that massive that doesn’t detach or gather up and fasten in the back? Getting that thing into/out of the car, dragging it around the reception?
And some idiot will wear it for an outdoor wedding.
July 28, 2011 at 8:46 pm
It shouldn’t be a problem since the bride is obviously a wizard! She can just teleport…
July 28, 2011 at 9:54 pm
On the plus side, it the event of rain it could double as a tent.
July 28, 2011 at 10:02 pm
And it’s so obviously flame retardant.
July 29, 2011 at 6:52 pm
You’ve GOT to watch an episode of My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding. There was one episode where the bride had such a huge train that when she was finally stuffed into the carriage she had a few inches of breathing room at the top. She looked like a head on top of a giant cloud of chiffon.
August 3, 2011 at 12:23 pm
I freaking love that show. The dresses and cakes are all sorts of awesome fuckery! They feel it’s classy and sexy/cute/pretty and want to feel like a bedazzled/tulle suffocated princess!
HEY if it’s the only bit of fun an color you’ll have before a life of cleaning house and making yer man his dinner after caring for screaming brats all day and gossiping with the locals then I say go for it…
wait.. that’s MY life. Damn my dress wasn’t that traintastic. Oh well.
July 28, 2011 at 3:14 pm
It’s like she’s crapping out ruffles! Which is an apt metaphor.
July 28, 2011 at 6:27 pm
Particularly the way it “reappears.”
July 28, 2011 at 3:09 pm
So glad I don’t sew.
July 28, 2011 at 3:10 pm
Slackers. I totally made a dress exactly like that out of toilet paper.
July 28, 2011 at 3:13 pm
And I made a multicolored bouquet out of Kleenex. It was such an ethereal event, so sheer and soft—and the it rained—and absorbent.
July 28, 2011 at 3:15 pm
Not to mention you were Johnny-on-the-spot when it came to tissues for catching all the memorable tears.
July 28, 2011 at 3:19 pm
You do beautiful work, Patty.
July 28, 2011 at 3:10 pm
And the dress you actually receive will look like a pile of floof that’s been raped by a weed whacker. You’ll cry for days, and eventually get married in an off the rack dress you bought at Sears for $14.99, and you’ll “accidentally” burn all your wedding photos.
A $78.99 dress is never just a $78.99 dress.
July 28, 2011 at 3:16 pm
The dress that gives BACK!
July 28, 2011 at 3:22 pm
Well, you have to factor in the fact that by the time it makes it off the boat, you’re going to have to fumigate it, and extricate all the fungus from the organza.
Hell, I get electronic parts from China all the time, and sometimes they smell like the boat they wandered over on for weeks after they’re installed in the server cases.
No bride wants to smell of roses, white linen, and bilge pump.
July 28, 2011 at 3:28 pm
But The Bilge Pumps happen to be my favorite pirate band. Surely those guys don’t smell too bad.
July 28, 2011 at 3:34 pm
Can’t speak for the band, but usual bilgewater smells like a mixture of gasoline, oil, bearing grease and Poseidon’s unwashed ass.
July 28, 2011 at 3:39 pm
Actually yes I’m well aware of bilge water. I used to give boat tours (in the middle of summer) where the engine room was a place of unimaginable smells. Also, it’s a wonderful place to find historical antifacts… for what it’s worth.
July 28, 2011 at 3:39 pm
Poseidon’s Unwashed Ass is an AWESOME tribute band!
July 28, 2011 at 3:53 pm
Dang it, you two. Now I wanna hear some pirate music.
July 28, 2011 at 4:22 pm
Can you even have an unwashed ass when you live underwater? I feel like you’d be in a perpetual state of cleanliness if you were a sea god (pollution and oil spills aside).
Also, hot Pirate Metal delivery.
July 28, 2011 at 5:45 pm
Damn, whimsiclekrissery, you beat me to the punch with Alestorm.
But there’s also Swashbuckle and Verbal Deception, and The Pirates Charles for pirate metal.
And just for shits and giggles, the non-metal, drunken steampunk airship pirates known as Abney Park.
July 28, 2011 at 5:46 pm
Missed a link, sorry. Swashbuckle.
July 28, 2011 at 5:55 pm
@Whims and Derpy:
A) Awesome Links
2) Awesome avatar. Where did you get the My Little Lobotomy Pony?
July 28, 2011 at 6:10 pm
Derpy Hooves and the picture are from the newest My Little Pony show, where that picture is an actual pony from the show, though she is only a background pony. And the show is awesome. Yes I am an adult.
And BROHOOF to you, Derpy!
July 28, 2011 at 6:12 pm
Must be the episode where they run the Kentucky Derpy. (okay – that was bad.) ; )
July 28, 2011 at 6:13 pm
@HalfNote5- She’s a background pony in the new My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic show. As always, there’s a Youtube link for that.
July 28, 2011 at 6:53 pm
Awesome! This’ll be great. As you can tell, when I’m bored I have a penchant for making pointless, pun-filled graphics, and inflicting them upon the unsuspecting public. This’ll fill the fuel tank on the ol’ fuckerymobile for a good while! = )
July 28, 2011 at 6:55 pm
Plus,I’d be lying if I said I never had a soft spot for MLP. Had one as a kid that “disappeared” during a spring cleaning session due to the fact that its coloration had become similar to a real horse’s. Still miss that hunk of plastic.
July 28, 2011 at 9:25 pm
@Derpy: I love you for the Abney Park reference alone.
July 28, 2011 at 10:10 pm
I’m glad to know I’m not the only Regretsy Brony. Usually my excuse is that as an animation major, I watch it for the lovely, smooth animation, but since I’m among fellow fat insolent losers I can just admit that I watch “My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic” because I fucking like it, assholes.
Oh yeah, and we missed a pirate song.
July 29, 2011 at 12:52 pm
@Whimsiclekrissery
I laughed so hard when I clicked your latest link. That song is so damn catchy and makes a fantabulous drinking song.
Yar har!
July 28, 2011 at 6:51 pm
There is no dress.
July 28, 2011 at 6:50 pm
There’s no way that they’re sending anything at all like this dress for $80. I’d be surprised if a naive buyer got any garment at all.
July 28, 2011 at 7:58 pm
I contacted weddingdressesshop and found out they use a factory and the photos supplied by the factory. Strangely it’s possible that that etsy seller didn’t get the dress from weddingdressesshop. But it’s definite that that dress is factory-made at the least instead of being made by a hard-crafting artisan.
July 28, 2011 at 3:10 pm
I am tempted, and I am not even getting married. Hell for $80, this would be pretty cool just to wear to parties or the corner bar or BurningMan. Imagine the hilarity as everyone trips over your damn dress all night. so much fun.
July 28, 2011 at 3:19 pm
This dress + burning man…. I sure as hell wouldn’t want to do it, but I’d applaud whoever did.
July 28, 2011 at 4:02 pm
I think Bronc should do it.
July 29, 2011 at 12:51 am
I know I’d pay to see this.
July 28, 2011 at 4:08 pm
My dilemma is it says there is only ONE available, but it doesn’t say what size. I’m usually a medium or small, but according to this chart I would be XXL. Fucking tiny chinese. I feel a little nervous about sending them $100, they do strike me as a little shady, you know, what with claiming this is handmade and all.
July 28, 2011 at 5:21 pm
Dang, yeah I’d probably be bigger than that even, going by their sizes. Maybe Chinese factories have an organza shortage, and therefore they have to scale down the sizes to save material. Fat girls (or girls who are a bit big but certainly not fat, like me), go to hell.
July 28, 2011 at 3:21 pm
I want to be wearing it when my boyfriend (of 8 years) comes home from work. Just scream “THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!!”, run up the stairs and hide in the bathroom eating Cheetos and sobbing uncontrollably for an hour. With all that organza fuckery that is the train trapped in the door.
Or maybe it’s time to go take my paxil.
July 28, 2011 at 3:26 pm
For $40, you can look like a Disney Princess…
http://www.etsy.com/listing/78520065/handmade-fashion-sexy-tulle-blue-wedding?ref=pr_shop
July 28, 2011 at 3:30 pm
My bad! I thumbs-down’d
I want the yellow one! Then I can start dating some furry dude with anger management issues and together we can be Belle and her Beast! Yayyyy fairytales!
July 28, 2011 at 5:13 pm
Shoot! I think I know one! But I look horrible in yellow. Drat.
July 28, 2011 at 5:26 pm
But instead of being locked up involuntarily in a castle you’ll be locking yourself intentionally in a hotel room at a convention.
I suggest putting a chair under the doorknob. Furries are persistent and they come in numbers.
July 28, 2011 at 3:38 pm
The girl modeling it is actually quite fetching, there’s no doubt in anyone’s mind that these are factory made, even without further inquiry.
July 28, 2011 at 3:43 pm
Or like you just shot an episode of Toddlers & Tiaras
http://www.etsy.com/listing/78517168/hot-sexy-tulle-wedding-dress-or-evening?ref=v1_other_2
July 28, 2011 at 4:21 pm
“Or can be used to rave”
Lovely.
July 28, 2011 at 4:33 pm
Hell – I want this for my 20th class reunion. Fuck if I won’t stand out….
July 28, 2011 at 3:52 pm
172 cm is 5 foot 7 and 3/4. And I have to wear underwear when measuring my bust.
It won’t fit me. Sorry.
July 28, 2011 at 4:42 pm
Oops, I didn’t see your comment before I posted mine. I refuse to wear underwear while measuring anything!
July 28, 2011 at 5:07 pm
@SkullsNDogbones: I certainly respect your disdain for underwear! Great minds go commando alike!
And I <3 your avatar.
July 28, 2011 at 4:41 pm
“When measuring chest please wear underwear”
July 28, 2011 at 6:33 pm
This is the page for a woman who really hates her bridesmaids.
July 28, 2011 at 11:08 pm
well, I can’t order those because the XL only fits chest size up to 36.5 and i can hardly fit my boobs into a 38 anymore. womp freakin womp man. no princess wedding dresses for me. EPIC FAIL.
i guess princesses just weren’t meant to have big boobs.
July 28, 2011 at 4:12 pm
This would be cool to camp under at BurningMan.
July 28, 2011 at 6:48 pm
If they actually send this dress for $8, I’ll get married again.
July 28, 2011 at 6:48 pm
$80, I meant $80
July 28, 2011 at 3:11 pm
I wonder if it comes in hot pink, for when I marry into the gypsies.
July 28, 2011 at 3:19 pm
You need more pouffery on top for a gypsy wedding. You might be able to balance it out with some battery-operated lights underneath the skirt, though. And if you strap the fire extinguisher to the bride’s leg—voila!—something new!
But for this price, I’d buy a half dozen:
Glue two to the limo—make it all hot pink and fluffy, and give the car its own train flying in the wind as the car zips by.
Another could be the carpet leading into the church.
One more could be laid on the dance floor.
The fifth a tent for bad weather.
And the last? Draped over the camper-without-the-toilet as the honeymoon suite.
July 28, 2011 at 6:59 pm
One of my favorite episodes involved the dress with the light-up animatronic butterflies that needed so much wiring that (a) the whole thing weighed twice as much as the bride’s father, and (b) the designer hovered over her the whole wedding with a fire extinguisher.
Gypsy gowns are like no others.
July 28, 2011 at 5:53 pm
exactly what I fuckin thought. I’m so addicted to that show.
July 28, 2011 at 3:11 pm
Damn they even charge you for a restock fee if you return the thing. Talk about cheap!
July 28, 2011 at 3:12 pm
Lovingly made by hand… by children who get paid a nickel a week.
July 28, 2011 at 3:15 pm
I want to laugh, but I think I will end up crying instead.
July 28, 2011 at 3:15 pm
I thought they just got paid in rice…
July 28, 2011 at 3:19 pm
The tiny hands help when stitching the inlay.
July 28, 2011 at 3:32 pm
Even with slave baby labor, I still can’t see how they hit that price point.
Buying babies for slavery purposes is simply not that cheap – even ugly babies pull $5,000 a head ($10,000 if the eyes stay blue).
So if you figure in your baby purchase costs as an on-going capital cost (which is not depreciable for tax purposes due to the increasing value of the baby and the increasing chance of escape as the baby ages) there is no way you can amortize those costs over enough dresses, or years (or even babies).
To hit that price point, you per-baby cost has to be kept under $500 and if you can find a slave baby for sale for that price, let me know, but I’m sure the quality will simply not be there – hey, you get what you pay for.
July 28, 2011 at 3:35 pm
Marry me? One of us can wear this dress
July 28, 2011 at 3:57 pm
@monkey33: First of all you’re looking for feeder grade slave labor babies, not the display grade that they use in visible public areas. The Grade D sheeting babies, if you will. I’m sure that in bulk, you can hit the CNY3222.5 (USD500) price point.
July 29, 2011 at 12:57 am
apparently, in china,
$500 is the going rate for girls
July 29, 2011 at 12:59 am
This being china, boys are better, *eye roll* so they’re much more pricey. ($4500)
July 29, 2011 at 11:05 am
I think I love you.
July 28, 2011 at 3:16 pm
I just keep hearing, “the bride is like a beautiful wizard leisurely walking to us” in the voice of a dog show announcer.
July 28, 2011 at 3:17 pm
Gah
July 28, 2011 at 7:44 pm
Forget about slave-baby labor… the latest trend is Slave Seniors, whose Medicare benefits are only good for 30 days of hospitalization.
Oops… I think I just gave HBO an idea for a new “dramady” series!
July 28, 2011 at 3:17 pm
I had the “Princess Bohemia Organza” action figure as a kid. She didn’t come with a lightsaber, but drove her own Strapless Cathedral Train.
July 28, 2011 at 3:20 pm
Notice the windows have no curtains…
July 29, 2011 at 11:36 am
July 28, 2011 at 3:18 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
July 28, 2011 at 4:03 pm
Well, it says there is ONLY ONE available, but what size???
July 28, 2011 at 3:18 pm
They used to sell hovercrafts in the back of comic books for $4.99. So all the neighborhood kids would pool their pennies, and eventually you’d send away for the hovercraft. Instead of an actual hovercraft, you’d get plans for a hovercraft that required some amazing unknown alien technology. I’m sure that this is a similar situation.
Sure as shit for $78.99 you’ll get a an old Butterick knockoff pattern for an apron instead of an actual incredible dress.
July 28, 2011 at 3:22 pm
And for the music, you could order “All the music ever written,” as in a very old Wizard of Id cartoon. The package arrived. Inside was a sheet of paper…
Do, re, me, far, so, la, de, da
July 28, 2011 at 3:24 pm
Not quite germane, but if you’re interested, I can send you plans to build a hovercraft using only plywood, an inner tube and/or a shower curtain, and a leaf blower.
July 28, 2011 at 3:41 pm
Fabric or vinyl shower curtain?
July 28, 2011 at 3:44 pm
Gotta be vinyl. You see, it has to fill with air which is let out via small slits on the inside of the ring.
I wanted to use one to help move the piano, but my better half insisted on using the neighbors instead. They dropped the piano, so it would have been the same result had my experiment failed.
July 28, 2011 at 3:46 pm
YOU OWE ME AN UPRIGHT PIANO, NEIGHBORS!
July 28, 2011 at 5:10 pm
@HalfNote5: I bet you are as hooked on the classified in Popular Mechanics as I am. Are you a graduate of the Foley Belsaw Institute?
July 28, 2011 at 5:49 pm
Haha! I used to read PM all the time, and I’d want the “Build your own helicopter” kit soooo bad when I was a kid. In retrospect, that seems like it could only be classified as a HUGE mistake.
July 28, 2011 at 6:31 pm
Look at the bright side, you still can buy build-it-yourself helicopter kits.
I guess I had lower self esteem, I wanted to build that six wheel utility snow plow that was always a small display ad toward the back.
July 28, 2011 at 6:48 pm
I can just hear Patrick Warburton screaming “How can you afford these things!?”
July 28, 2011 at 5:47 pm
“The g-d damn Germans got nothin’ to do with it.” Also, I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
July 28, 2011 at 3:37 pm
Drink… your… OVALTINE?!
July 28, 2011 at 3:20 pm
I just want to know who’s “responcible” for this dress being on Etsy.
July 28, 2011 at 5:51 pm
Whose Responible?
July 28, 2011 at 3:21 pm
I’m thinking these dresses are less of the handcrafted variety and more of the “fell off of a truck” kind.
July 28, 2011 at 3:21 pm
Warning. This is what happens when you drink the dish soap on top of a plate of refried beans.
July 28, 2011 at 4:14 pm
Fart-it-yourself wedding dress?
July 28, 2011 at 5:08 pm
July 28, 2011 at 5:20 pm
Oooh, now I want a wedding gown that blows soap bubbles as I walk down the aisle. Oh, and has properly attired rubber duckies attached, too.
July 28, 2011 at 6:34 pm
Yes, the duckies are a must! They just makes the outfit!
July 29, 2011 at 1:34 am
An outfit made by ducks would be something to boast about.
July 29, 2011 at 8:22 am
Real whimsical duckerky
July 28, 2011 at 4:27 pm
Why is there dish soap on top of a plate of refried beans? Did you send for the “Palmolive Cookbook”? The first recipe, “Soapy Sofritos,” should have been a red flag.
July 28, 2011 at 5:10 pm
Or the “You’re Soaking In It” Sopapillas.
July 28, 2011 at 5:19 pm
SOAPapillas. *Ducks
July 28, 2011 at 3:22 pm
Wait a minute, the british site shows over a thousand bucks, unless the “L” just devalued a bunch. How come it’s under a hundred in the US? I think we need anti-dumping tariffs on wedding dresses!
July 28, 2011 at 3:25 pm
The factory in China is selling off their surplus on the cheap.
July 28, 2011 at 3:28 pm
Yeah, aren’t the Etsy prices usually higher? I’m guessing they use Etsy to sell their seconds. Or maybe thirds and fourths.
Maybe it’s a button with a picture of a wedding dress on it.
July 28, 2011 at 3:29 pm
Good example: I can buy a “Motorola” S-9 headset for $15 on e-bay instead of $100 at staples because the plant that makes them FOR Motorola sells off the excess units themselves without a middleman. They just don’t always slap the Motorola logo on it. The thousand bucks is the British site’s markup. The Chinese factory probably has $50 invested in each dress in material and labor, and sells in bulk for $80.
July 28, 2011 at 3:33 pm
Whhaaa? Are you saying that wedding dresses are artificially over-priced?! Get outta town! I refuse to believe that anyone could be so unscrupulous as to try to over-charge some hapless bride on the ‘happiest’ day of her life!
For shame!
July 28, 2011 at 3:55 pm
I, my own personal self, am gearing up to pay $360 for a plate of celery because out venue doesn’t figure we should bring our own food. Their reasoning is something like we might mix up the pimento cheese with cat faeces and get sued.
July 28, 2011 at 5:31 pm
That’s the beauty of liquidation stores for you. Granted, my dress still cost about $430 (store sells previous season’s designs at a fraction of the cost) but original price was… I think it was $1800. What do I remember, that was 3.5 years ago. And I didn’t pay for it, my sister-in-law did – God, I love my in-laws.
July 28, 2011 at 3:45 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
July 28, 2011 at 3:48 pm
Actually, you can find both. Especially if you buy in lots of 20. ; )
July 28, 2011 at 3:50 pm
All kidding aside, the example was for illustrative purposes only.
July 28, 2011 at 3:46 pm
And the “British” site is shipping via EMS which is a courier in China.
July 28, 2011 at 4:00 pm
They’re shipping them to the the British in ambulances?
Shocking! :0
July 28, 2011 at 4:10 pm
Well, a bad dress COULD give a gal a coronary. ; )
July 28, 2011 at 3:28 pm
I would so buy that for 80 bucks just to flounce around the house in for the hell of it. But seeing as though XXL has a 31.5 inch waist and I haven’t seen that waist size since before the child, I guess it’s not meant to be. Too bad.
July 28, 2011 at 3:31 pm
Super happy fun time bridewizard corset. Only $900.00USD
July 28, 2011 at 3:31 pm
Asian branded clothes usually run a size to two sizes smaller, especially if you’re busty.
July 28, 2011 at 3:35 pm
Well that counts me out. And let’s just not talk about the waist… it’s wasted away.
July 28, 2011 at 4:01 pm
Damn, I have the cup size but not the hight or waist.
July 28, 2011 at 4:35 pm
By busty, do you mean “if you have a bust”?
July 28, 2011 at 3:49 pm
maybe you have to buy like 500 of them so you can have that price per unit..
July 28, 2011 at 3:50 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
July 28, 2011 at 4:04 pm
@DarkSock: nah, not too soon, but it felt like you were stretching. I will give double points for using the phrase “Bea Arthur’s Vagina”.
July 28, 2011 at 10:15 pm
There’s something inherently wrong with stretching Bea Arthur’s Vagina.
July 29, 2011 at 3:53 pm
And unlikely as well.
July 28, 2011 at 4:15 pm
Depends… is it “never,” yet? ; )
July 28, 2011 at 4:06 pm
I don’t understand resellers — if you buy the dress for 578 pounds and sell for 78 USD where’s the profit?
Plus they are making puppies cry when they resell
July 28, 2011 at 4:15 pm
I’ve got to ask just how can a bride walk in that dress? All that flounce there could easily making walking a bitch.
But then again she’s got the ultimate flounce to use against someone.
July 28, 2011 at 4:24 pm
You’re a beautiful wizard, remember? You’ll just float!
July 28, 2011 at 4:27 pm
It looks as if David Copperfield is having a hard time making her disappear in smoke.
July 28, 2011 at 4:31 pm
God, it’s everything I always hated about wedding dresses. Frilly, white and made in China!
July 28, 2011 at 4:38 pm
I like the way this whole-seller spells “responcible” in the shop policies. Does that mean I can hold her “responsible”?
July 28, 2011 at 7:39 pm
It means you CAN’T hold her responsible
tricky, huh?
July 28, 2011 at 4:49 pm
That dress makes the whole church’s ass look fat.
July 28, 2011 at 4:53 pm
“brides like a beautiful wizard walking to us”
July 28, 2011 at 4:59 pm
The last paragraph of the description reads (in its entirety):
imported thick satin upper body done a lot of layers, wear very pretty, oh! Very cool! Fish bone (supporting breast line), chest Cotton (another chest full), non-slip safety buckle (to prevent slipping emptied, the wedding firmly fixed on the body) European version of the sewing beads, large imports of lace
Can anybody interpret this? I need more vodka to understand “to prevent slipping emptied, the wedding firmly fixed on the body”
July 28, 2011 at 5:35 pm
If that’s the only part you don’t understand, you’re way ahead of me. And we don’t have enough vodka left for it to make any major difference.
July 28, 2011 at 6:31 pm
I love that it has “fish bone” supporting the breast line. And that it keeps the wedding firmly affixed to the body. If my wedding dress had had those features, there might not be photos of me walking in to my parents house, pretty much drunk, with my right boobie hanging out. Then again, maybe it was the pretty much drunk part…
July 28, 2011 at 4:59 pm
Wizard Bridal Apparel, now available:
July 28, 2011 at 5:36 pm
Bless you. Really. I think it might need a few more Swarovski elements, though.
July 28, 2011 at 5:54 pm
He looks FABULOUS!
And by fabulous, I mean I wish good ‘ol J.K. had actually run with his fabulousness in the books.
July 29, 2011 at 8:40 am
Now add in Grindelwald, ’cause it’s totally legal across the pond!
July 28, 2011 at 5:25 pm
I’ve always been curious about how these dresses look in real life. Is there anywhere that shows pictures of the actual dresses, not the designer dress it’s based on? If not, I’ll continue to assume they just look like the “Wild Woman Costume”.
July 28, 2011 at 5:37 pm
If I post a pic of me on my wedding day, can any of you let me know if I looked like a beautiful wizard or not? I’m so insecure about it now. I was told I looked beautiful, but that’s nothing compared to being a beautiful wizard!
July 28, 2011 at 7:07 pm
Just run these lyrics through your head and you’ll be fine.
All the kids in the sweatshop say
Ay oh whey oh, ay oh whey oh
Walk like a Wizard
…….
All the Japanese with their yen
Cupcake seller, called craftard
And the Chinese reseller (oh whey oh)
They walk the line like Wizard
All the cops in the donut shop say
Ay oh whey oh, ay oh whey oh
Walk like a Wizard
Walk like a Wizard
July 28, 2011 at 5:40 pm
Wait. The wholesale site is selling it for 568L (yeah, I can’t figure out the buttons to make the pound sign), how the hell can that thing go for $79? Something tells me that anyone naive enough to order from these folks is going to get a button in the mail.
July 28, 2011 at 5:49 pm
alt+156, for future reference! ASCII codes to the rescue.
This HandCrafts2Door shop has two sales – one of which was today. Did one of you crazy bastards buy something so we can know what the end result is? I hope that’s the scenario, and not that some poor idiot actually believes they’ll be getting the product.
Then again, if they believed that, they maybe deserve to get screwed.
July 28, 2011 at 5:44 pm
July 28, 2011 at 6:20 pm
I don’t care – I’m still pairing it with my [cyote] hat and wearing it for halloween. Or the next time we visit the in-laws.
July 28, 2011 at 6:42 pm
I could have done a better job, but it was just too damn disturbing to finish… See you in October.
July 28, 2011 at 7:43 pm
Jeez…that’s a sucky Photoshop job =/
July 28, 2011 at 7:44 pm
The original one, lol…not you HalfNote, yours is AWESOME.
July 28, 2011 at 8:22 pm
Baaahahaha! You could’ve said it about mine and I wouldn’t've been offended. Usually when I hit the 3 to 5 minute mark on making these things, I call it “good enough.”
July 28, 2011 at 8:43 pm
I wanted this for my dolls when I was eight.
July 28, 2011 at 6:06 pm
568£ Thanks!
I don’t think that people deserve to get screwed simply because they’re naive.
July 28, 2011 at 6:21 pm
Fell off the truck that fell of the other truck and after it fell off the other truck, only $80 worth of dress was left.
July 28, 2011 at 6:57 pm
“A lovely Bridal procession…and look at the shine on that floor!”
July 28, 2011 at 6:59 pm
Okay, if someone on Regretsy buys this wedding dress and actually gets this dress, I’ll send you a pretty pearl necklace.
July 28, 2011 at 9:32 pm
If it was Towel Mike offering the pearl necklace there might be a negotiation afoot….
July 28, 2011 at 10:38 pm
Or if Towel Mike wanted to see you in this wedding dress…
July 28, 2011 at 7:12 pm
With a butcher knife, a bit of makeup, and a couple of quarts of fake blood, this dress would be the perfect Halloween costume.
Also good for soirees, cotillions, and debutant balls.
July 28, 2011 at 7:59 pm
“Then you can quit your day job and move to Brooklyn, where you can drink whiskey on your bicycle and listen to ukelele music.” You just reminded me why I hate everyone at my stupid hipster ad agency.
July 28, 2011 at 8:19 pm
Ok, hubby is in Shanghai RIGHT NOW!!! Seriously, I WILL SEND HIM TO THE CRAFTERS HOUSE (large factory) TO STUFF HIS BAG FULL OF THESE…WOOHOO, VINTAGE GOWNS!!!!
July 28, 2011 at 8:24 pm
HANDMADE vintage gowns, at that. ; )
July 28, 2011 at 10:54 pm
I will not buy this dress and sell it for a profit, I will not buy this dress and sell it for a profit, I will not buy this dress and sell it for a profit….. gah so tempting, I feel like a horrible person.
July 28, 2011 at 11:11 pm
you may pay for this dress, but you will never receive it. I emailed the people who actually make these and they said that $79 wouldn’t even cover materials.
July 28, 2011 at 11:55 pm
Dear Chad,
I make chainmaille jewelry. NO! Not email or snail mail, but Chainmaille… as in small loops of metal in jewelry or armor form.. I’m not getting featured, am I?
Crap,
NevarsongDesign
July 29, 2011 at 10:32 am
And here comes the bride… okay. Oh wait, she’s still coming. Yeah, okay, she’s here. Wait… not yet… wait, still coming. Still coming… still comi.. there.
July 29, 2011 at 10:57 am
“Our little collective” is most likely unpaid prison labor- imprisoned Tibetan Monks, political dissidents, etc. Lovely, Etsy.
July 29, 2011 at 1:03 pm
Alright little Regretsians – I bought the dress. I’ve wasted that much money on stupider things in life: a bottle of fake absinthe, pajama jeans and lots of Etsy WF – so I’ll e-mail Ms. Killer some photos of me and the wizzardly creation when (and if) I receive it. Goooooooo Etsy!
July 30, 2011 at 5:53 pm
Their shop’s been cleard out, so I’m thinking you’re out $80. You are my hero, though. And I will send you a pearl necklace (not the kind we’d like to get from Mike or Dror) if you get it.
July 29, 2011 at 1:57 pm
Look what I found at our grocery store last night after this was posted.
July 29, 2011 at 2:22 pm
If anyone in the wedding party loses a contact lens, they’re fucked.
You know what would be awesome? A little amigurumi nestled in each flounce, with one being Waldo. Fun for everyone at the reception…
July 29, 2011 at 3:29 pm
July 30, 2011 at 5:51 pm
Hey, I reported them to Etsy and now their shop is empty. Could it be????