What’s The Schmatta?
I have this great idea for a Halloween costume this year! I’m going to wrap a bunch of rags around my tits and stand in a room full of bad wood paneling. I don’t know what I’m supposed to be, but I’m pretty sure no one else will be doing it.
July 26, 2011 at 1:32 pm
ME WANT SNU-SNU
July 26, 2011 at 1:35 pm
Death by snu snu!
July 26, 2011 at 2:01 pm
Hooray!
Oh…
Hooray!
July 26, 2011 at 1:38 pm
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July 26, 2011 at 1:44 pm
ROFL! You took the words right out of my mouth!
July 26, 2011 at 2:01 pm
The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised.
July 26, 2011 at 2:22 pm
Exactly what I imagined when I saw this! Thank you for being awesome!
July 26, 2011 at 2:39 pm
Cut to satisfied skeletons with crushed pelvises.
July 26, 2011 at 1:33 pm
No, no, you don’t get it. You can use this one MULTIPURPOSE.
One year a sexy cavewoman, the next a sexy mummy, the next a sexy accident victim!
The possibilities are endless, and therefore it is TOTALLY JUSTIFIABLE to charge $60 for some torn up tshirts.
July 26, 2011 at 2:23 pm
Don’t forget a sexy 3rd-degree burn patient.
July 26, 2011 at 2:35 pm
A sexy pile of rags!
July 26, 2011 at 2:51 pm
Sexy roll of toilet paper!
July 26, 2011 at 9:48 pm
Add a pair of wings made from pantyhose – sexy fly-caught-in-a-web.
July 27, 2011 at 7:24 am
Sexy seaweed?
July 27, 2011 at 6:24 pm
Sexy Wicked Witch after an all night bender with the flying monkeys!
July 26, 2011 at 6:41 pm
This year I planned on either being a sexy Big Bird or a sexy Inuit. Next year I’ll be a sexy accident victim.
July 26, 2011 at 1:33 pm
July 26, 2011 at 2:02 pm
Aww, you beat me to it!
July 26, 2011 at 3:41 pm
You can never post too many Futurama gifs! XD
July 26, 2011 at 2:06 pm
Perfect.
July 26, 2011 at 1:34 pm
Ah, the post I broke my Regretsy cherry on. Has it been a year already? How time flies when you’re getting DERP’d, goatse’d and all the ret.
July 26, 2011 at 1:39 pm
Being a fat, jealous, loser is so worth it.
July 26, 2011 at 2:36 pm
That certainly has been my experience. And BTW, she still needs to shave her legs.
July 26, 2011 at 1:34 pm
This year, I’m going as Miss Havisham’s dust rags.
July 26, 2011 at 1:45 pm
We can only hope the sparks from the fireplace are ready to do their job again.
BTW, when did Miss Havisham get a Farrah ‘do?
July 26, 2011 at 1:36 pm
This looks remarkably similar to a costume my sister-in-law put together for a knife dance a couple years ago. I wonder if I still have a picture of that…
July 26, 2011 at 2:11 pm
Before, or after?
July 26, 2011 at 2:17 pm
During.
July 26, 2011 at 2:42 pm
When I first read “knife dance” I was thinking it was some sort of formal ball for knife enthusiasts.
July 26, 2011 at 2:50 pm
Nope. She dances with sharpened knives in her hands. Kinda like a fan dance. I actually had to take her to the ER once because she cut herself pretty good during a performance.
July 26, 2011 at 6:48 pm
After thinking about it for a minute, I thought it might be something like that. But sometimes what my imagination serves up automatically is too fun for me to discard.
July 26, 2011 at 2:47 pm
This is the only photo of my sister-in-law’s costume I could find. But it shows that it’s quite similar to the seller’s.
July 26, 2011 at 5:28 pm
I should mention that this photo is from January of 2009.
July 26, 2011 at 8:12 pm
quit infringing my copyrightingness.
July 26, 2011 at 8:40 pm
They are so similarity.
July 27, 2011 at 3:20 am
I recognize that costume! I saw it caught in a tree during a storm.
July 26, 2011 at 1:37 pm
Whenever I see “OOAK” I think, “ooookay…..?” As in, “Ooookkaaay…. WTF is this?”
July 26, 2011 at 1:38 pm
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July 26, 2011 at 1:39 pm
oh hahaha I didn’t quite understand your comment until after I hit post hahaha
July 26, 2011 at 1:43 pm
Must’ve been a REALLY wild night to have your clothing end up like that. Last time I saw an outfit like that, we’d just lost a brawl in the parking lot of a curtain and draperies emporium.
July 26, 2011 at 5:41 pm
“Isn’t that just like a tailor? Brings a serger to a pinking shears fight.”
July 26, 2011 at 6:02 pm
Don’t get me started. And those 14-inch long gold-plated tailor’s scissors will CUT your ass but good. And they call Regretsians “thugs.” ; )
July 26, 2011 at 1:44 pm
The wood paneling comes close to barn wood.
July 26, 2011 at 2:18 pm
You didn’t know? Wood paneling IS the new barn wood. It’s much more ironic.
July 26, 2011 at 1:45 pm
What, another crappy reimagining of Wonder Woman’s costume?
July 26, 2011 at 1:46 pm
Her expression looks like she’s about to fumigate the room from eating too many beans.
July 26, 2011 at 1:49 pm
Where are Marilyn McCoo and the other Solid Gold dancers?
July 26, 2011 at 1:52 pm
why the hell is she posing like that
July 26, 2011 at 1:56 pm
I crawled out of the ocean looking like this once when a wave ripped off my bikini and my body became entangled in seaweed. I saved $60! (and lost a bikini)
July 26, 2011 at 2:02 pm
Did you keep the seaweed? You could list it on Etsy as “green, re-purposed, upcycled environmentally friendly compostable swimwear!” Pure profit!
July 26, 2011 at 2:02 pm
It’s so damned beautiful… like Jesus on a wall with an old lady-butt next to it is beautiful
July 26, 2011 at 4:03 pm
Are you sure that’s an old lady? I think it’s a man.
July 27, 2011 at 6:07 am
…Oh my garters.
I own barn-wood with that exact shaped water stain.
Pardon me while I go sell my moist Jesus on eBay and make MILLIONS.
July 27, 2011 at 8:17 am
Which one is Jesus? I see about 6 or so head shapes…
Who are the others? The Rockettes?
July 27, 2011 at 10:26 pm
Half of the apostles?
July 28, 2011 at 5:52 pm
Could be.
July 26, 2011 at 2:05 pm
What WNBA ‘stars’ do when they retire – Fashion!
July 26, 2011 at 2:08 pm
Patrick Swayze really needs to learn how to use that sewing machine he’s standing next to.
July 26, 2011 at 2:17 pm
Okay, so my first thought was –
“So THAT’S what happened to GrandNanny’s old sewing machine! I wish I had gotten that thing…”
Thought #2 -
“Why the fuck didn’t she use it to sew a costume instead?”
July 26, 2011 at 2:21 pm
Lol, thought #2 was the FIRST thing that went through my head when I saw it. Ooh look a neat old sewing machine! Aww…she didn’t use it.
July 26, 2011 at 2:19 pm
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July 26, 2011 at 2:24 pm
http://www.regretsy.com/2011/07/22/adroration/
TL;DR April and Bronc are gone/busy for a few days.
July 26, 2011 at 2:27 pm
Helen & Bronc are taking a few well deserved days off.
July 26, 2011 at 2:40 pm
Because entertaining roughly 1*10^6 people for free AND raising thousands of dollars for charity IN ADDITION to your day job(s) is hard work.
July 26, 2011 at 2:20 pm
Any outfit that can double as “wonderful lingerie for your wildest nights” and “a halloween costume” probably isn’t generally okay.
July 26, 2011 at 2:23 pm
Hell, that’s all I seem to find at the Halloween stores anymore.
July 26, 2011 at 2:36 pm
Yeah
Halloween’s still scary…but in a different way now!
July 26, 2011 at 2:52 pm
It’s turned into Fredrick’s of Holloween
July 26, 2011 at 6:51 pm
Oooh, I don’t know… depends on what you’re into…
July 26, 2011 at 10:11 pm
If that is part of her “wildest night” give the poor chit some sympathy; she’s had a tough life.
July 26, 2011 at 2:30 pm
I found the perfect hat to match!
http://www.etsy.com/listing/78335893/imp-ish-ram-horned-wild-thing-winter-hat
July 26, 2011 at 2:33 pm
The LARPER in me loves that hat.
The rest of me reminds me that wearing that in public is not OK.
July 26, 2011 at 3:23 pm
But, then again… I could get away with it right? With the right attitude?
Hell, I WEAR A HAT SHAPED LIKE AN OWL. I think it;s safe to say that my grasp on fashion is loose enough that people might accept me wearing this.
July 26, 2011 at 3:42 pm
Awww, I totally LOVE that hat!
No LARPing required from me, I’m mental enough to wear it to the supermarket XD
July 26, 2011 at 4:10 pm
I don’t care for the hat, but I LOVE her expression!
July 26, 2011 at 4:16 pm
I do too. You just know she’s crazy as hell after a couple shots of tequila.
July 26, 2011 at 4:22 pm
Awesome drinking buddy. You’d start the night planning to be sensible cause you have work in the morning and end it half naked on a park bench handcuffed to a baby elephant.
July 26, 2011 at 4:38 pm
@Anninyn. Next weekend I’m going out with YOU. None of my nights out are that good!
July 26, 2011 at 4:44 pm
@ Anninyn: I thought I was the only one that happened to!
July 27, 2011 at 7:26 am
That expression says “Anyone who messes with someone wearing a furry Viking helmet gets what they deserve…and I’m really going to enjoy giving it to them.”
July 26, 2011 at 8:59 pm
If that’s a woman, she shouldn’t be allowed to wear the headdress of the Loyal Order of Water Buffalo.
If it’s Geddy Lee, that must have been an episode of “The Flintstones” that I missed.
July 26, 2011 at 2:32 pm
I kid you not, my husband’s ex once wore something like that for Halloween. There were a few more rags attached, but it was not a pretty sight.
July 26, 2011 at 2:46 pm
So, when did Charmin quit using the bear shitting in the woods for their ad campaign?
July 26, 2011 at 11:05 pm
For God’s sake, don’t squeeze it!
July 26, 2011 at 3:12 pm
The worst part, for me, is that she is wearing it and expects other people to put that disaster on their genitalia. For the record though, that is actually fairly nice wood paneling. Possibly she thought the quality added class to her listing.
July 26, 2011 at 3:17 pm
Who among us have never felt a sudden urge to get up in the middle of a a body wrap treatment and do a Kate Bush-esque dance?
What,just me?
July 26, 2011 at 3:47 pm
Best comment on this post!
July 26, 2011 at 3:56 pm
All other debatable issues aside, I have that same sewing machine. Now I know what I’m going to be for Halloween!!
July 26, 2011 at 4:40 pm
Where will you find the paneling for your background? I love the sewing machine, too!
July 26, 2011 at 4:57 pm
A sewing machine?
Well that would be an original costume.
Good luck with that.
July 26, 2011 at 4:55 pm
OOAK
I know this is short for One Of A Kind, but it immediately references the term “Ooky” from The Addams Family song.
The dress is ooky *snap snap*
July 26, 2011 at 6:32 pm
One of a kind, but then again most off the rack Halloween costumes these days look fit for walking the streets at night any other night of the year.
July 26, 2011 at 7:57 pm
Then after Halloween she can soap herself up and wash the car.
July 26, 2011 at 8:04 pm
Dammit. You took an awful dress and made it sexy, and that’s completely anathema to the point. ; )
July 26, 2011 at 8:13 pm
Somehow the antique sewing machine in the background just doesn’t scream “sexy”. As if that’s the only thing stompin’ on the sexy.
July 26, 2011 at 9:35 pm
We totally sell that fabric at work. I don’t know how long it’s been on clearance.
July 26, 2011 at 10:56 pm
Ding-dong
“Trick-or-
Dateer…. TREAT. Yeah.July 27, 2011 at 5:32 am
“Fashion police! Put your hands up, and tiptoe slowly to the wood-panelled wall!”
July 27, 2011 at 8:58 am
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July 27, 2011 at 11:31 am
I don’t understand. There’s a sewing machine in that picture, is it broken??
July 27, 2011 at 1:00 pm
Bandeau top laced with charms… translation: worn out tshirt and petrified cat food I found in the corner of my closet..
July 28, 2011 at 3:00 pm
It looks like her house would smell like moth balls and cat piss.
August 2, 2011 at 5:32 pm
No, no, no. When you make Second Life Gorean slave rags, you have to expose both the nipple and the hoohah!
October 15, 2011 at 11:26 am
FRANKENHOOKER! (Wanna Date?)