If These Walls Could Talk
Presenting the Talking Vagina Hands from Summer’s Eve!
“Gurrrrrl, mmmmm, gurrrrl, you pussy smell so bad gurrrl! Whachoo got down dere, some kinna H. Salt 3 piece fish special? Chile, my eyes is burnin! You best git up innat stankhole and wash dat stanky shit!
Aye carumba! Donde esta los bolsa de douche? No burro rides for you, chica! I am going to take a siesta under my sombrero, and maybe when I wake up, my concha will no smell so bad. Que fuego!
Golly, shouldn’t you and your hidey hole be besties? I’d say more, but I’m white and have no personality. Let’s all have a salad!
Gosh, what a fantastic, empowering, respectful, sensitive campaign. I think all women of color want to think their vaginas sound like a white girl doing an Aunt Jemima impression.
Still, I can’t help feeling that there are more ethnic groups to stereotype. I mean, if we’re going to have Tia the Talking Taco and Betty the Big Black Bajingo, shouldn’t we have a whole rainbow of talking pussy puppets?
Where’s the American Indian vagina? Shouldn’t it be drunk and have a feather sticking out of it?
And what about the Asian vagina? Shouldn’t it be sideways and talking about Mr. Eddie’s Father?
Let’s not forget the Jewish vagina! NOT THAT ANYONE EVER SEES IT