HAH. No, just the skins, not the actual tube-shaped neck log. We have a drawer full of rooster necks and dried out pheasants and, yes, faces. The first time I ever saw him come home with a face, I thought to myself, “Yes. I made the right decision in marrying this man.”
He ties his own trout flies for fly-fishing. They’re all made out of feathers and fur and thread and stuff. It’s a pretty interesting craft and there are guys who are amazing at it. They tie bugs that look so real, you’d swat at them if you saw them out of context.
That said, there is actually a huge collector’s market for certain pelts, and the faces in particular. He drags me to a convention in NJ every year to walk through miles and miles of vendors selling creepy shit just like this. It’s kind of nightmarish, now that I’m seeing it in print.
My husband also ties his own flies. I would encourage him to collect faces if I thought it would save the dog. (He doesn’t hurt her, but sometimes after I have left him alone to his fly tying for a while her tail will be missing a chunk of fur, almost like someone took scissors and snipped off a bit of her fur. Husband has no idea how this could have happened but look at his new flies with the pretty, long, straight, black hairs!)
My Dad tied his own flies. Every time we passed roadkill, he’d pull over and see if he wanted it for the fur, or the feathers. My Mom made him put the poor dead critter in the trunk for the duration of the ride. He’s been gone 6 years now, and I still look at roadkill (as I drive on by) and wonder if it’s something he’d like.
I had a great-uncle who tied his own flies. In fact, I read a newspaper article about him once where he was called “the dean of the wet fly-tyers.” They were really quite beautiful and it’s a very interesting art form. (yes, I think it’s art.) I always thought he led a fairly dull life til he died in a whore house.
I used to go crabbing off of docks as a kid armed with a chicken neck dangling from a deer antler and a net. On a side note, I am seriously considering buying these faces.
I just like to think that the necks are all from mean roosters who deserved their fate. Also, as much as I love animals, it’s better to use as many parts as possible.
But if they used the rest of the pelt for another purpose, wouldn’t that mean that the rest of the pelt was useful or valuable and the faces were not? And if THAT’S the case, then what would be the value of collecting a beaver face?
I can’t believe I’m actually attempting to discuss this, hah. I feel kind of dirty.
To answer you seriously, I can see people who want just a tiny bit of fur using these. Like for fur cuffs on a Barbie coat, rockinghorse mane on a wee xmas tree ornament, or as part of bling on a pen or keychain. As well as for fly-tying. Why waste the good parts of the animal for such handiwork, right? At least, I HOPE they get used in little pieces, because whole, they’re grim.
I agree. I understand usingthe fur, but who wants those faces looking at you? And collect them? What are they, beaver emoticons? These are about as bad as the commemorative penises.
That is exactly what I was thinking! If I had children, I think I’d cut the eye holes a little bigger, add an elastic strap, and call it a day. Instant creepy-ass beaver face kids! This is probably why I shouldn’t reproduce.
…Now Wynona took her big brown beaver,
And she stuck him up in the air.
Said “I sure do love this big brown beaver
And I wish I did have a pair.”
Now the beaver once slept for seven days
And it gave us all an awful fright.
So I tickled his chin and I gave him a pinch
And the bastard tried to bite me.
Wynona loved her big brown beaver
And she stroked him all the time.
She pricked her finger one day and it
Occurred to her she might have a porcupine…
Well, they do if you leave the teeth in, silly. Plus it adds a nice whooshing sound when you go really fast downhill.
They also make excellent throw rugs for Alaska Barbie’s Governor’s Mansion, innovative elbow patches for your tweed jacket, and in a pinch, can replace the filter in your aquarium.*
*Suggestions 38, 47 & 81 in “1001 Things to Do With A Beaver Face, 2nd Edition”
Well, yes, karma would dictate that the seller gets mauled by the beavers. Sadly, karma is tricky–the beavers have no faces and keep tripping over things while they hunt down the seller, who sits on a chair with her feet up.
I clean the drain-strainer in the tub all the time. Let me know if you need help harvesting beaver hair! I just throw it away; it’s free if you want it!
The girl in the bottom photo looks straight out of an 80′s employment training video. TOTALLY teaching someone about work-place harassment…..using beaver face visual aids.
I’ll bet the seller makes a mean beaver-pot-pie. Beaver Ala King. Beaver on a stick. Deep fried beaver. Beaver pudding. Beaver tacos. Beaver ka-bobs. Grilled beaver. Stuffed beaver. Beaver picatta. Beaver and beans.
There is a (faceless) beaver pelt hanging on my wall as I type. Joining it are 2 foxes, 15ish martins, 2 weasels, and a couple squirrels; all with faces intact. Oh the joys of being married to a hunter/trapper. To be fair though, he bought none of these things on Etsy. They will eventually all go to a furrier to be made into cruel, cruel fur clothing.
I’m of the opinion that if he’s going to kill the animal for its parts, he may as well use every bit and not let any go to waste. So he probably used the pelts for some other project and now he’s looking for a buyer for the faces. Well and good. That being said, I’m glad this creepy shit isn’t in my house to stare at me with those empty eyes.
I like disco. There. I’ve said it. I’m reading a book about NYC in 1977 and the author is deep in the discussion of disco and then I read your post and hear the disco arrangement of the song. Thanks!
July 14, 2011 at 11:05 am
Weird. My beaver looks nothing like this???
July 14, 2011 at 11:09 am
Mine does, but mostly in winter, when I’m too lazy to care.
July 14, 2011 at 11:34 am
Yours have eye holes?
July 14, 2011 at 11:46 am
I glue googly eyes to mine, the men love it
July 14, 2011 at 11:59 am
Marry me.
July 14, 2011 at 2:15 pm
Googly Eyed Beaver* sounds like my next ex-wife!
That’s dreamy!!!
* or maybe a country song.
December 15, 2011 at 11:06 am
I must ask Mrs. Psycho to try that.
July 14, 2011 at 11:09 am
Mine is the only one with a face?
July 14, 2011 at 11:10 am
Mine has a mouth, but no eyes.
July 14, 2011 at 11:13 am
Does it have teeth? That’s what you’ve got to worry about.
December 15, 2011 at 11:05 am
Supposedly men are all terrified of vagina dentata, but if so, why are they so hot for fellatio, which actually does involve an opening with teeth…?
July 14, 2011 at 2:16 pm
Blind Beaver? Now that’s a blues singer name.
July 14, 2011 at 8:09 pm
This is what it would look like if Eva Gabor had branched out and done merkins
July 14, 2011 at 11:27 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
July 14, 2011 at 12:43 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
July 14, 2011 at 12:49 pm
Mine is less beaver-y and more foxy.
July 14, 2011 at 1:00 pm
I’d describe mine as Sasquatch meets Wookie.
July 14, 2011 at 2:17 pm
I don’t see the problem here.
July 14, 2011 at 8:11 pm
What the seller doesn’t mention is what he used to chop them up…a Beaver cleaver…
July 14, 2011 at 1:30 pm
So you’re a ginger?
July 14, 2011 at 3:28 pm
Oooo Foxy Mama!
July 15, 2011 at 7:32 am
Someone SO needs to make these into a G-string!
July 15, 2011 at 7:33 am
A beaver to cover your beaver!
July 14, 2011 at 11:05 am
Well I’ll be dammed…
July 14, 2011 at 12:44 pm
Presumeably, if you’re like the rest of us here… but tell us what your reaction was to the post.
July 14, 2011 at 11:06 am
Beaver merkins for everyone!!!
July 14, 2011 at 11:50 am
My first thought, too.
July 14, 2011 at 4:34 pm
Isn’t that redundant?
July 18, 2011 at 1:38 am
Isn’t that redundant?
July 18, 2011 at 1:40 am
Jesus Fuck, I swear that post was not there when I posted. The internet is conspiring to make me look stupid again!
July 14, 2011 at 11:06 am
This call for a merkin photoshop contest
July 14, 2011 at 11:06 am
calls… derp
July 14, 2011 at 11:30 am
Ask and you shall receive.
July 14, 2011 at 12:20 pm
July 14, 2011 at 12:46 pm
Wait a sec…
There.
(It’s staring at you)
July 14, 2011 at 1:02 pm
I can’t stop staring back….make it stop!!
July 14, 2011 at 1:38 pm
Thanks for the nightmares!
July 14, 2011 at 1:43 pm
When I eventually stop laughing, that’s going to haunt my dreams.
July 14, 2011 at 2:05 pm
I had no idea her lower torso was such a suave and debonaire gentleman. Thank you internet!
July 14, 2011 at 2:21 pm
Watson, what is it you’ve found, man?
Exactly, Holmes. Exactly.
July 14, 2011 at 11:06 am
My husband collects rooster necks. Truly. He has a good reason for it, though. I promise.
July 14, 2011 at 11:07 am
Strap ons?
July 14, 2011 at 11:10 am
HAH. No, just the skins, not the actual tube-shaped neck log. We have a drawer full of rooster necks and dried out pheasants and, yes, faces. The first time I ever saw him come home with a face, I thought to myself, “Yes. I made the right decision in marrying this man.”
July 14, 2011 at 11:14 am
What on earth does he use them for?
July 14, 2011 at 11:17 am
He ties his own trout flies for fly-fishing. They’re all made out of feathers and fur and thread and stuff. It’s a pretty interesting craft and there are guys who are amazing at it. They tie bugs that look so real, you’d swat at them if you saw them out of context.
That said, there is actually a huge collector’s market for certain pelts, and the faces in particular. He drags me to a convention in NJ every year to walk through miles and miles of vendors selling creepy shit just like this. It’s kind of nightmarish, now that I’m seeing it in print.
July 14, 2011 at 11:23 am
I’m glad you explained because for a second there it seemed like your husband was one step away from make a chicken skin suit.
“It rubs the KFC special recipe spice on it’s skin or else it gets the oil again.”
Well, fuck. Now I’m hungry.
July 14, 2011 at 11:30 am
My husband also ties his own flies. I would encourage him to collect faces if I thought it would save the dog. (He doesn’t hurt her, but sometimes after I have left him alone to his fly tying for a while her tail will be missing a chunk of fur, almost like someone took scissors and snipped off a bit of her fur. Husband has no idea how this could have happened but look at his new flies with the pretty, long, straight, black hairs!)
July 14, 2011 at 11:34 am
Fly tyers look at everything as a potential fly. Bear skin rug? Well groomed poodle? Hipster moustache? How well does it float, he’ll use it.
July 14, 2011 at 12:25 pm
My Dad tied his own flies. Every time we passed roadkill, he’d pull over and see if he wanted it for the fur, or the feathers. My Mom made him put the poor dead critter in the trunk for the duration of the ride. He’s been gone 6 years now, and I still look at roadkill (as I drive on by) and wonder if it’s something he’d like.
July 14, 2011 at 12:48 pm
there is a chicken-choking joke in there somewhere.
July 14, 2011 at 2:24 pm
I had a great-uncle who tied his own flies. In fact, I read a newspaper article about him once where he was called “the dean of the wet fly-tyers.” They were really quite beautiful and it’s a very interesting art form. (yes, I think it’s art.) I always thought he led a fairly dull life til he died in a whore house.
July 14, 2011 at 8:18 pm
Weren’t Wacky Packages and Pokemon enough to collect? Here’s looking at you Beaver Face
July 14, 2011 at 11:09 am
We used to use chicken necks as crab bait. Gulf coast blue crab are delicious.
July 14, 2011 at 11:15 am
Great. Now I have a craving, and I’m stuck out here in San Diego. D:
July 14, 2011 at 1:03 pm
I used to go crabbing off of docks as a kid armed with a chicken neck dangling from a deer antler and a net. On a side note, I am seriously considering buying these faces.
July 14, 2011 at 11:13 am
I wonder what made people “thumbs down” this comment? Are people offended by rooster necks? Weird. I gave you a thumbs up to even things out.
July 14, 2011 at 11:18 am
That’s cool, I can live with the downward pointing thumbs. Some people are really into rooster rights, and I respect their position.
July 14, 2011 at 12:06 pm
I just like to think that the necks are all from mean roosters who deserved their fate. Also, as much as I love animals, it’s better to use as many parts as possible.
July 14, 2011 at 12:22 pm
“rooster rights”? I just love cocks, is that so wrong?
July 14, 2011 at 12:47 pm
Up with cocks!
July 14, 2011 at 8:14 pm
I like a cockatoo
July 14, 2011 at 8:16 pm
Laugh In reference FTW !!!!@
July 14, 2011 at 12:10 pm
That’s a CHICKEN JOKE!
July 14, 2011 at 11:06 am
Awww.. I thought someone had ripped the staches off a bunch of stupid hipsters.
July 14, 2011 at 11:37 am
I didn’t just think–I HOPED that someone had ripped the staches off hipsters.
July 14, 2011 at 1:45 pm
As did the rest of us. I’m tempted to sell ripped-off hipster ‘staches on Etsy.
July 14, 2011 at 11:06 am
That guy in Silence of the Lambs got killed for his beaver pelt collecting hobby.
July 14, 2011 at 11:48 am
I have that movie on my desk right now.
July 14, 2011 at 11:07 am
I’m too ill with summer cold/ death plague destined to kill every living sould on the planet for snark.
All I can manage is resigned disgust.
July 14, 2011 at 11:07 am
What happened to the rest of the beaver?
July 14, 2011 at 11:27 am
this:
July 14, 2011 at 1:02 pm
Yes! I was just going to suggest fixing these two up. One want face, the other tail. Together they should be magic.
July 14, 2011 at 11:07 am
Nice! We could turn them into fascinators, then get back on Etsy and make a fortune!
July 14, 2011 at 11:08 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
July 14, 2011 at 11:08 am
Instant merkin collection!
glad to see usage of the word is alive and well in these forums…
July 14, 2011 at 11:14 am
Using this as a merkin will guarantee a logjam.
July 14, 2011 at 11:51 am
Quote of the day. Thank you. Just used it twice in 3 minutes.
July 14, 2011 at 12:30 pm
Soda just shot out my nose. Damn, that hurt.
July 14, 2011 at 11:09 am
Well I’m too sickened to think up anything clever to say. And seriously baffled as to why it’s only the fucking faces!
July 14, 2011 at 11:15 am
I assume they used the rest of the pelt to make something else.
July 14, 2011 at 11:27 am
But if they used the rest of the pelt for another purpose, wouldn’t that mean that the rest of the pelt was useful or valuable and the faces were not? And if THAT’S the case, then what would be the value of collecting a beaver face?
I can’t believe I’m actually attempting to discuss this, hah. I feel kind of dirty.
July 14, 2011 at 11:56 am
then don’t look at the rest of her store for sure. There is ziplock baggies of leftovers.
July 14, 2011 at 12:54 pm
To answer you seriously, I can see people who want just a tiny bit of fur using these. Like for fur cuffs on a Barbie coat, rockinghorse mane on a wee xmas tree ornament, or as part of bling on a pen or keychain. As well as for fly-tying. Why waste the good parts of the animal for such handiwork, right? At least, I HOPE they get used in little pieces, because whole, they’re grim.
July 14, 2011 at 1:14 pm
I agree. I understand usingthe fur, but who wants those faces looking at you? And collect them? What are they, beaver emoticons? These are about as bad as the commemorative penises.
July 14, 2011 at 2:20 pm
Beaver emoticons and commemorative penises; hah! I now have two new favorite phrases to carry me into the weekend.
July 14, 2011 at 11:09 am
Some baby’s going to have an EPIC Halloween mask.
July 14, 2011 at 12:01 pm
That is exactly what I was thinking! If I had children, I think I’d cut the eye holes a little bigger, add an elastic strap, and call it a day. Instant creepy-ass beaver face kids! This is probably why I shouldn’t reproduce.
July 14, 2011 at 12:55 pm
I wonder what size the smell is though.
July 14, 2011 at 1:44 pm
That’s why I’d tie them to kids’ faces and not my own.
July 14, 2011 at 11:10 am
Ladies, there is a beaver hunt going on and the end isn’t pretty. Guard your beaver!
July 14, 2011 at 11:12 am
HIDE YO BEAVER
July 14, 2011 at 11:54 am
HIDE YO BEAVER HIDE YO MINK THEY TRAPPIN EVERYBODY OUT HERE
July 14, 2011 at 11:10 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
July 14, 2011 at 11:11 am
…Now Wynona took her big brown beaver,
And she stuck him up in the air.
Said “I sure do love this big brown beaver
And I wish I did have a pair.”
Now the beaver once slept for seven days
And it gave us all an awful fright.
So I tickled his chin and I gave him a pinch
And the bastard tried to bite me.
Wynona loved her big brown beaver
And she stroked him all the time.
She pricked her finger one day and it
Occurred to her she might have a porcupine…
July 14, 2011 at 12:14 pm
Just this morning that song was bouncing around in my noggin. Now I’m disappointed it didn’t pop back into my brain until reading your comment!
July 14, 2011 at 1:00 pm
Oddly enough, that song was playing on my iTunes when this popped up on my RSS feed.
July 14, 2011 at 11:11 am
Ward! Beaver’s face is missing! I bet that Eddie Haskell had something to do with this!
July 14, 2011 at 2:38 pm
July 15, 2011 at 8:46 am
THIS IS THE BEST PIC EVVVVAHHH!!! OMG- I so heart you! I about peed my pants, shot snot out and vomited laughter all in one!
July 14, 2011 at 2:39 pm
Guess one at a time works better.
July 14, 2011 at 11:11 am
Leatherface, behind the mask:
July 14, 2011 at 11:12 am
Beaver faces look better on the beaver.
I’d rather see Bieber Faces instead.
July 14, 2011 at 11:16 am
If I could give you a thousand thumbs-up, I would.
July 14, 2011 at 12:33 pm
Special delivery from Lexiii to katfud:
July 14, 2011 at 12:53 pm
Thank you very much. I ran out of thumbs.
July 14, 2011 at 11:58 pm
You’re very welcome!
July 14, 2011 at 2:14 pm
Wow, it’s like those 90′s magic eye pictures! You stare at it awhile and it goes 3 D!
July 14, 2011 at 11:59 pm
Now if only I was clever enough to put an actual magic eye picture in there…
July 15, 2011 at 4:30 am
You know that the german word for beaver actually IS “bieber”?
July 14, 2011 at 11:12 am
I was thinking of starting a new collection, but beaver faces don’t make that “clicky” sound like baseball cards in the spokes of my bike.
July 14, 2011 at 11:44 am
Well, they do if you leave the teeth in, silly. Plus it adds a nice whooshing sound when you go really fast downhill.
They also make excellent throw rugs for Alaska Barbie’s Governor’s Mansion, innovative elbow patches for your tweed jacket, and in a pinch, can replace the filter in your aquarium.*
*Suggestions 38, 47 & 81 in “1001 Things to Do With A Beaver Face, 2nd Edition”
July 14, 2011 at 6:47 pm
They’ve issued a second edition?!?!?!
*looks up PayPal password and clicks over to Amazon*
July 14, 2011 at 11:14 am
If the universe works the way I hope it does, that person is in line for a serious mauling by beavers.
July 14, 2011 at 6:48 pm
Well, yes, karma would dictate that the seller gets mauled by the beavers. Sadly, karma is tricky–the beavers have no faces and keep tripping over things while they hunt down the seller, who sits on a chair with her feet up.
July 14, 2011 at 11:15 am
Alternate pic:
Uploaded with ImageShack.us
July 14, 2011 at 11:16 am
The All Natural Merkin!
July 14, 2011 at 11:16 am
well… at least it’s not beaver feces
July 14, 2011 at 1:33 pm
At most it’s not beaver feces?
July 14, 2011 at 11:17 am
I harvest my own beaver hair to make my own line of beaver Batman masks, thankyouverymuch.
July 14, 2011 at 11:38 am
I clean the drain-strainer in the tub all the time. Let me know if you need help harvesting beaver hair! I just throw it away; it’s free if you want it!
July 14, 2011 at 11:18 am
Please, explain why, because otherwise it just sounds like you husband is one step away from making a chicken skin suit.
It rubs the KFC special recipe spice on it’s skin or else it gets the oil again…
July 14, 2011 at 11:27 am
So THIS is where my first reply went. How the hell did it get all the way down here?
Move along folks, nothing to see here.
July 14, 2011 at 12:53 pm
It happens to me too.
July 14, 2011 at 12:57 pm
Gave me a laugh anyway
July 14, 2011 at 11:18 am
But there are 7 days of the week! Commando on the 7th day?
July 14, 2011 at 11:19 am
Perfect gift for newborns.
July 14, 2011 at 6:49 pm
Newborn what?
July 14, 2011 at 11:19 am
I’m a little frightened to ask… what happened to the rest of the beaver?
Are there six faceless beavers running around Gotham City, causing havoc for Batman?
July 14, 2011 at 1:42 pm
Holy faceless beavers Batman!
July 14, 2011 at 7:54 pm
Faceless Beavers. Good name for my new Zydeco band or not?
July 14, 2011 at 11:20 am
I really want to see a gif of one of these thing flying out of a pokeball for some reason.
BEAVER FACE I CHOOSE YOU!
July 14, 2011 at 11:59 am
July 14, 2011 at 12:31 pm
As much as I hate Bidoof, I lol’d.
July 14, 2011 at 11:21 am
The girl in the bottom photo looks straight out of an 80′s employment training video. TOTALLY teaching someone about work-place harassment…..using beaver face visual aids.
July 14, 2011 at 11:24 am
which one is justin beaver? i don’t recognize him without the hair.
July 14, 2011 at 11:27 am
First of all, these are clearly ‘vintage’, as modern beavers are usually shaved bare…
And, B: why no sticks ala ‘moustache on stick’ type thing?
Third, just add a pocketwatch and they’re steampunk.
Is this too much riffing for one comment?
July 14, 2011 at 1:42 pm
Missed one:
Rough up the edges some and then they’re tatterpunk.
July 14, 2011 at 1:44 pm
Steampunk beavers take a licking and keep on ticking.
July 14, 2011 at 11:27 am
What do Etsy people have against beavers?
July 14, 2011 at 12:09 pm
Ouch, my beaver face is totally red with shame.
July 14, 2011 at 11:29 am
She has a grab bag of coyote faces too.
July 14, 2011 at 11:34 am
Where’s the silver one?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0-o6z1XFCcQ
July 14, 2011 at 11:37 am
With a little effort, you could craft these fine beaver faces into functional, fashionable coochie cozies!
July 14, 2011 at 11:40 am
I’m patiently waiting for the Beaver Face jewellery to appear
July 14, 2011 at 11:41 am
Beaver. Faces. That’s all I needed to read to get a laugh.
July 14, 2011 at 11:41 am
Beaver Army > Squirrel Army
July 14, 2011 at 11:53 am
God I love Janitor. I miss that show so hard.
July 14, 2011 at 1:33 pm
Amen! I want to be Dr. Cox when I grow up!
July 14, 2011 at 3:44 pm
Heh, me too! I am now inspired to go dig out my DVDs and watch the series from the beginning. Again.
July 14, 2011 at 11:43 am
I’ll bet the seller makes a mean beaver-pot-pie. Beaver Ala King. Beaver on a stick. Deep fried beaver. Beaver pudding. Beaver tacos. Beaver ka-bobs. Grilled beaver. Stuffed beaver. Beaver picatta. Beaver and beans.
This calls for a Regretsy Cookbook.
July 14, 2011 at 8:28 pm
Beavers were made to be eaten
July 14, 2011 at 8:28 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
July 14, 2011 at 11:52 am
There is a (faceless) beaver pelt hanging on my wall as I type. Joining it are 2 foxes, 15ish martins, 2 weasels, and a couple squirrels; all with faces intact. Oh the joys of being married to a hunter/trapper. To be fair though, he bought none of these things on Etsy. They will eventually all go to a furrier to be made into cruel, cruel fur clothing.
July 14, 2011 at 11:53 am
Face transplants for cats?
July 14, 2011 at 11:53 am
The seller almost has the 12 days of Christmas covered.
painted horror doll head
2 ringtail faces
3 soft mink faces
4 squirrel tails
5 rabbit fur large pieces
6 beaver faces
7 piece mink lot muskrat
8 squirrel feet
9 alligator feet
July 14, 2011 at 12:32 pm
And a partridge head in a Goatse.
July 14, 2011 at 1:08 pm
July 14, 2011 at 1:31 pm
I can’t like this enough!
July 15, 2011 at 8:49 am
I’ve never been able to find the real goatse image. AND you added a christmas song content into it! Thanks – you’ve totally ruined my holidays!
July 14, 2011 at 11:55 am
I know they are (were) beavers, but all I can see is the face of the gopher from Caddyshack.
July 14, 2011 at 12:01 pm
I can’t stop thinking about these poor scab-faced creatures staggering back to their little dams going “WTF was THAT all about?!?”
July 14, 2011 at 12:02 pm
Sorry, I only buy metric beaver.
July 14, 2011 at 12:15 pm
They say beaver faces, I say bikini merkin bottoms. <3
July 14, 2011 at 12:22 pm
July 14, 2011 at 12:25 pm
“Dear, don’t you think you’ve been a little hard on the Beavers?”
July 14, 2011 at 12:50 pm
This is what happens when the Hamburgler forgets to wax his brows.
July 14, 2011 at 1:07 pm
I just want one, to sew onto the seat of the easy chair in my living room. Then, when I have company*, I can invite them to sit on my face.
*That rarely happens
July 14, 2011 at 1:14 pm
I can see why.
July 14, 2011 at 1:32 pm
Awwww man I thought this was 6 Beiber faces.
July 14, 2011 at 1:59 pm
I’m of the opinion that if he’s going to kill the animal for its parts, he may as well use every bit and not let any go to waste. So he probably used the pelts for some other project and now he’s looking for a buyer for the faces. Well and good. That being said, I’m glad this creepy shit isn’t in my house to stare at me with those empty eyes.
July 14, 2011 at 2:31 pm
Does this make “beaver testicles” an oxymoron?
July 14, 2011 at 2:36 pm
Can’t read my, can’t read my, no you can’t read my beaver face, beaver face…
July 14, 2011 at 2:37 pm
Beaver Face… it’s not just an insult anymore.
July 14, 2011 at 2:47 pm
So how are merkins supposed to stay in place?! Glue??? But… but…
July 14, 2011 at 3:32 pm
The eye holes are for the thongs.
Duh.
July 14, 2011 at 4:54 pm
Well, if you want them in bulk, you’re better buying the outfit from the other day, cutting the size faces you want, and getting a hole punch.
I saw a purse one time made out of alligator, and the flap over the top was the gator’s face. It was sad.
July 14, 2011 at 5:33 pm
July 14, 2011 at 7:25 pm
Well, everyone knows muskrat faces are much more collectible. *flounce*
July 14, 2011 at 8:23 pm
An oldie but a goodie…
“Beaver face
You’ve got the cutest little beaver face
There ain’t nobody can ever take your place
Beaver face”
July 15, 2011 at 9:14 am
I like disco. There. I’ve said it. I’m reading a book about NYC in 1977 and the author is deep in the discussion of disco and then I read your post and hear the disco arrangement of the song. Thanks!
*hustles off*
July 15, 2011 at 8:52 am
You could put the beaver’s thigh bone through the eye holes and make a pony tail band.
Warning, exactly one beaver was harmed in the manufacture of this fashion accessory.
July 15, 2011 at 9:57 am
Beaver faces: The fur-fect thing to use for your next fur-lined vagina project.
Christ, people disgust me.
July 15, 2011 at 3:40 pm
Can’t pet my
Can’t pet my
No he can’t pet my beaver faaaace
July 17, 2011 at 3:31 pm
I know this is late, but I had to leave this here: http://youtu.be/aYDfwUJzYQg