I am, at least, non-hypocritical in my love of dead animal. I will wear them, eat them, feed them to my pet, even use their various other parts in any way possible (within reason, since I’m not a craftard)
One of my favorite Tshirts says “Meat is murder. Tasty, flame-broiled, delicious murder.” I like to wear it in the tidewater area of Virginia where PETA is based – “People Embarrassing Tidewater Again”
Duh. But the Triwizard tournament didn’t end with Krum being a dumbass and catching the Snitch so his team could lose with dignity. Wtf, Krum? There is no dignity in Quidditch, only WINNING.
The Triwizard tournament ended with Cedric dying. SO MUCH AWESOMER. #winning
…Consoling himself with a stein of ale, Pelt of Ugg longed for his Witch Queen. Banished from Vacantlot long before her reign, he wondered how long his exile would continue. Damn this barrier of Snowfence! He sensed great danger in his love’s future. He plotted his escape with Trident at the ready to swoop in and defend her…
That’s because it says “Ohhhh I’m so totally in touch with my nature on this manmade rock precipice overlooking the suburbs… I’m, like, a modern day primitive or something…”
I’m thinking that the next thing post Tarot deck is that we persue a Regretsy Adventures in Crafting LARPG and/or table top gaming system. It could be EPIC!!! Or at least it could provide us with amusement…
Where exactly would one wear this, besides a costume party? Does the “artist” who spends lots of time and effort making shit like this seriously think he or she is creating something awesome? And, OMG, is that my ex-husband wearing that idiotic get-up?
LARPing, I’d say. I LARP and I think that robe looks pretty awesome. I’ve seen some people spend over $1,200 on costuming before so someone eventually wearing that robe isn’t unheard of.
/nerdhat
Aesthetically, I love this. I just have no idea what one would do with such an expensive and… “different” piece. But the costume design bit of me loves it nonetheless.
I really like the look of it as well. As I’ve suggested to others, the robe would probably appeal to a very narrow group: LARPers with expendable money.
I like the look of it too. I even understand the price, fur is a pain to work with, you have to cut all the pieces from the back side with a knife, if you use scissors you end up with little fur bits all over your workspace and it’s almost as hard to clean up as glitter. However I have no idea what I’d use it for. . .
I’m really glad I’m not the only person who actually finds this pretty cool, from that standpoint. It’s not like it looks hideously ratty or anything, and working with leather and fur can be a pain. Aesthetically, I think it’s actually quite lovely, and I sorta wish I had the money for it.
Not that I have any idea where I’d wear it. The Rennfest here is pretty relaxed and definitely not anal about accuracy, and would probably enjoy this, but “here” also happens to be east of the Rockies, in Colorado, in late July. Hellz naw.
I like the fur, it looks to be good quality, but random tails everywhere? No. It looks like they went “Ooh, what can we throw on there? Teeth? Antlers? Nah, let’s toss on some tails and call it a day.”
That would be awesome for some kind of movie costume… or… something. Dunno about $1200 awesome… but for that specific thing it would be awesome. Anything else you’d probably keel over in about 20 minutes from heat exhaustion. Even larpers have a bit more sense when they get in costume. XD
Or hey! It’d be great for that new Ren Fest they’re starting up in the North Pole!
Not all LARPers do. I have a strict no fur policy when LARPing in non winter months but I’ve seen people covered in fur and armor…even in 95 degree weather.
This is not right. That’s a photo from the Hall of Man dioramas at the Natural History Museum. You know, the part about Neanderthal Man during the Ice Age.
Otze (the Iceman found in the Alps) was not Neanderthal, he was a modern human. He also had better fashion sense, because despite being encased in ice for 1500 years, he also only had frostbite on one of his pinky toes.
Wow… I’m actually impressed that you not only recognized the mummy but knew enough about it that you could recount his gender and frostbite count! I have to thumbs up that kind of dedicated Pedantry.
Yes… his name is Ötzi and he’s been encased in ice for 5300 years, not 1500. Also, his corpse is NOT reanimated, and even if it were, he probably would not use words like “dude.”
Some Dutch artists made an astonishing recreation of how he looked when he was alive. It’s weird though… he looks really familiar!
Yeah, duh. Otzi. Call that a typo. And I think I said 1500 year ago, but I also think I meant 1500 BC. That’s what I get for posting drunk. And I love the Pedantry poster.
Now this is the outfit to get for Bronc for your trip to Finland, this is their style and it will keep him warm!! You can spend all day petting HIS beaver!
JESUS CHRIST, THERE IS A FUCKING “F” IN THE WORD “OF.”
Seriously, of the long list of things that boggle my mind about this shop, seller profile, and the items featured, the repeated use of “ov” is the most significant.
If I’m counting the tails right … three are 50+ cats on that thing. While I’m most assuredly not a PETA supporter and I thoroughly enjoy my meats … This fact alone makes me a little sad.
“so none are endangered species as of 2011.” No, the Lynx is “only” threatened, (just vulnerable to extinction as opposed to will soon be extinct) and may only be hunted in Alaska. I’m notPETA either but if you hunt & eat it that is one thing, if you NEED fur to stay warm, ok. But tails for a costume? That is VERY sad.
Actually – if you played your cards right you could end up making money off this purchase.
You just collect the musk-ox ball sweat – bottle it in an upcycled vintage condition jar – call it holistic (cures, headaches, fainting spells, TMJ, skin rashes, bunions, and more!) take a picture of it outside on barn wood and write a story about how the the mustached octopus told you all about this special recipe. And you are on your way to front page etsy power seller success!
Bonus points if you sell the 8 by 10 photo separately as art.
Oh – and that idea is copyrighted. If you want it you have to pay me.
They ship worldwide from the States. I am DYING – and apparently, so are many cats – to witness that conversation at USPS when the seller is filling out the customs form.
“Does this package contain animal products?”
“Wee-e-e-e-ell…”
I also want photos from the first public wearing of this thing. What DO you become when you don it? Posei-don’t? Shiva the Canadian? The Dangly Neptunian? GOOD LORD WHAT IS IT FOR?!?
Wasn’t that from “The Naked Gun” when Priscilla Presley was up on the ladder and Leslie Nielsen was looking up at her? “Nice Beaver!”. “Thanks, I just had it stuffed.”
That’s it, I’ve had it. Not only am I still squinting at those thingies hanging off the faux fur, are they little furry feet or puffed up (scared shitless)little tails, or horses hooves or the legs that fell off the stuffed animal bargain bin in the dollar store?
I don’t wanna know.
Frankly, I’m amazed that the description doesn’t make any claims that this is a shamanistic robe blessed by wiccan priestesses that will allow you to commune with the spirit world. It also never claims to be made of the pelt of the Arthurian Questing Beast or to cure cancer.
For that, I say weave on, mighty beaver slayer of etsy.
Don’t wander in the woods with this on. Or you’ll risk facing a very angry mob of wild felines ready to avenge their loved ones. And you’ll learn what “sheared” really means.
Things I shouldn’t say about this or the person wearing this…
1. Nice Beaver!
2. Is that a lynx tail between your legs or are you just happy to see me?
3. You finally got a piece of tail, didn’t ya?
4. Phew!! Are you sure they didn’t use Skunk Tails?
5. Soooo, you still live at home with your parents?
6. You’re wearing that, and you won’t eat veal?
7. Ya know…for $1200, you could have gotten a real wardrobe.
8. Fur, in the summer? Where’s your fashion sense!
9. So….was that a shaved beaver?
10. ok…how many endangered species can you wear in one outfit!
If he’s going to sell that thing for $1200, he needs to do a better job bragging about the number of non-beaver animals that went into the beaver suit. I count four in the description, but that’s just lazy–he could throw in some squirrel, housecat, and deer in there easily (you don’t even have to kill them or buy them if you have a keen eye and a car). Or at least mention the sheer quantity of animal parts included:
“No fewer than thirty-seven animals gave their lives for this fashionable garment, which is suitable for anyone who enjoys shamanism, yet still enjoys the touch of real fur.”
July 12, 2011 at 2:29 pm
Wow, somebody’s getting a lot of tail.
July 12, 2011 at 5:10 pm
At first I thought it said Bieber pelt and I got all happy… then I saw it said beaver and I got all sad.
July 12, 2011 at 5:50 pm
Awww…don’t be sad. Bieber is pretty much a beaver in the sense that he’s a complete twat.
July 12, 2011 at 6:20 pm
Bajingo, I love you. That was just fabulous!
July 12, 2011 at 2:29 pm
That is so tacky. Everybody knows Alaskan lynx clashes with Western bobcat.
July 12, 2011 at 2:29 pm
I’m only paying $1200 if it comes with that sweet pitchfork.
July 12, 2011 at 2:32 pm
THASSA TRIDENT YO
July 12, 2011 at 2:34 pm
Either way…it is THE must-have accessory if you’re going to rape PETA’s dreams.
July 12, 2011 at 2:37 pm
It’s TOTALLY worth the $1200 to fuck with PETA…
July 12, 2011 at 2:41 pm
Where is that bucket of blood when you need it most?
July 12, 2011 at 3:00 pm
uh-oh angelbuttons…we’re getting downvoted after making PETA jokes. Should we have a bbq and extend the ballpark frank of friendship?
July 12, 2011 at 4:30 pm
Mmmm….animals are YUMMY.
I am, at least, non-hypocritical in my love of dead animal. I will wear them, eat them, feed them to my pet, even use their various other parts in any way possible (within reason, since I’m not a craftard)
July 12, 2011 at 6:54 pm
One of my favorite Tshirts says “Meat is murder. Tasty, flame-broiled, delicious murder.” I like to wear it in the tidewater area of Virginia where PETA is based – “People Embarrassing Tidewater Again”
July 12, 2011 at 2:30 pm
Also looks like he has a twentyskin.
July 12, 2011 at 2:30 pm
He’s too sexy for his fur……
July 12, 2011 at 2:30 pm
Whether or not my beaver gets air flow is my personal business.
July 12, 2011 at 2:33 pm
No joke. Going commando under a twirly skirt is a helluva lot cheaper than this. You may actually MAKE money doing it.
July 13, 2011 at 6:36 am
*shudder*
You just reminded me of the last time I saw my Grandma.
July 12, 2011 at 2:47 pm
I like a healthy breeze ’round my privates, thanks.
(awaits downvoting from those who don’t recognize the reference)
July 12, 2011 at 4:04 pm
You win the Triwizard tournament in my book Bajingo! ^_^
July 12, 2011 at 4:13 pm
Actually, it’s the Quidditch World Cup, but A for effort, Shulkie.
July 12, 2011 at 8:53 pm
Duh. But the Triwizard tournament didn’t end with Krum being a dumbass and catching the Snitch so his team could lose with dignity. Wtf, Krum? There is no dignity in Quidditch, only WINNING.
The Triwizard tournament ended with Cedric dying. SO MUCH AWESOMER. #winning
July 14, 2011 at 10:54 am
Well if it doesn’t get airflow and starts to stink, it becomes our business!
July 22, 2011 at 7:20 pm
you might need some some new pants
July 12, 2011 at 2:31 pm
This gives new meaning to “sheared beaver.”
July 12, 2011 at 3:21 pm
A plucked/sheared natural beaver?
In this case I’d call that an Antarctican
July 12, 2011 at 4:50 pm
He’s got the Beaver Fever.
July 12, 2011 at 2:31 pm
Beaver for $1200 – this must be quality stuff…did they use endangered feces to make this?
July 12, 2011 at 4:21 pm
No. Emily. It’s Endangered SPECIES.
Oh. NEVER MIND.
July 12, 2011 at 5:21 pm
Yes, but it’s decorated with Soviet Jewelry!
–E.L.
July 12, 2011 at 2:32 pm
This guy totally stole this from the SNL costume rack. This has “Lothar of the Hill People” written all over it.
“Imagine, if you will, a little man on a boat.” <–the Beaver connection…
July 12, 2011 at 3:02 pm
“Much have I have seen, and much have I done…”
July 12, 2011 at 5:34 pm
And now I’m going to be randomly singing “Lothar, of the HILL PEOPLE” all night… Thanks a lot OnlyALass
July 12, 2011 at 6:09 pm
“I wore a robe of many furs. And even though it was woven, now I must walk alone. There is no man in a little boat for Lothar.”
July 12, 2011 at 6:32 pm
I doubt a woman would let a guy wearing that thing get near enough to see “the little man in the boat.”
July 12, 2011 at 2:32 pm
I would gladly pay $1200 for relief from my musk ox-like ball sweat when I dress up like a beaver. Out of my way, bitches! This one’s mine!
July 12, 2011 at 2:32 pm
Wait…beavers have fauxhawks? That just adds to the fuckery.
July 12, 2011 at 2:32 pm
I am curious about the trident – it is in hopes of summoning an underground lake? All the pelts would be soaked then…and not in the fun way.
July 12, 2011 at 4:46 pm
It’s cuz he’s a furmaid.
*badoom-chic*
July 12, 2011 at 5:14 pm
Or a very confused King of the selkies…
July 12, 2011 at 2:32 pm
Bobcat and lynx?
July 12, 2011 at 2:33 pm
ohforchristsake… how many creatures need to die for fashion catastrophes?
July 12, 2011 at 4:41 pm
Instaead of being listed under Dread Things it IS a list of dead things. And searched through 100s of tails? Please, just get laid.
July 12, 2011 at 2:33 pm
I don’t know why, but the orange netting on the bottom made me laugh.
July 12, 2011 at 2:34 pm
If you look really hard into the background you can see the Witch Queen from yesterday.
July 12, 2011 at 2:39 pm
They’ve been fighting over the no man’s land between Vacalot and Forest Subaquia for a long time now.
I’m surprised you didn’t know; it’s all you hear about on the tatterpunk/furpunk blogs these days.
July 12, 2011 at 2:36 pm
That’s why the picture was taken on a rock. The beach was closed for waste clean-up. (Perhaps “hundred of ox tails” washed ashore?)
July 12, 2011 at 2:40 pm
Why am I not surprised he’s drinking?
July 12, 2011 at 4:43 pm
Couldn’t get me into that sober.
July 12, 2011 at 2:42 pm
the tails hanging off like dingleberries cracked me up.
July 12, 2011 at 7:09 pm
TheMe, too! Can you imagine what happens when he spins around and all those tails catching flight? Like one of those swing rides at the fairs?
A swing ride for the flea circus!
July 12, 2011 at 8:57 pm
I know. They are like little bobcat penis trophies.
July 12, 2011 at 3:11 pm
…Consoling himself with a stein of ale, Pelt of Ugg longed for his Witch Queen. Banished from Vacantlot long before her reign, he wondered how long his exile would continue. Damn this barrier of Snowfence! He sensed great danger in his love’s future. He plotted his escape with Trident at the ready to swoop in and defend her…
July 12, 2011 at 3:31 pm
I think I saw this guy last weekend at the ren faire.
No, wait… that was some other idiot wearing fur in the 92° heat and drinking Mike’s Hard Lemonade.
July 12, 2011 at 5:25 pm
I’m getting the Plentyoffish.com ad right above this guy’s picture. Priceless!
July 12, 2011 at 4:43 pm
And the Uggs for the complete effect…
July 12, 2011 at 6:34 pm
Don’t forget the tribal tattoos.
July 12, 2011 at 4:46 pm
I’m personally thrilled with the pewter tankard he’s holding, which is undoubtedly full of mead. These LARPers really like their authenticity.
July 12, 2011 at 6:35 pm
And that’s why they serve honey butter and turkey at their gatherings.
(I was once a medievalist)
July 12, 2011 at 8:43 pm
And if it’s not full of mead, it’s likely full of lead, being pewter.
July 12, 2011 at 5:36 pm
That’s because it says “Ohhhh I’m so totally in touch with my nature on this manmade rock precipice overlooking the suburbs… I’m, like, a modern day primitive or something…”
July 12, 2011 at 2:34 pm
That’s a kicky fannypack he’s rocking.
July 12, 2011 at 2:34 pm
Ooo, hey, I can add a barbarian to the Regretsy adventuring party! (But I probably won’t.)
July 12, 2011 at 5:42 pm
I’m thinking that the next thing post Tarot deck is that we persue a Regretsy Adventures in Crafting LARPG and/or table top gaming system. It could be EPIC!!! Or at least it could provide us with amusement…
July 22, 2011 at 5:16 pm
I may or may not be willing to help create/beta-test a Regretsy tabletop (I fear a LARP would involve too many hot glue-gun accidents).
(Also, Icon love. I would pay a lot of money for Erin’s dino hoodie)
July 12, 2011 at 6:33 pm
OMG, That rocks my socks. Please, please please add him to the adventuring party? He would fit so nicely.
July 12, 2011 at 8:01 pm
Okay. Since you asked so nicely.
July 12, 2011 at 8:51 pm
Thanks for reposting this. I went searching for it in vain after the witch queen the other day.
July 12, 2011 at 9:43 pm
I was not aware of the party’s existence, but now that I am, I would like to award you an internet.
We’re missing the bard, the rogue, and the fighter :C (Well, and the paladin, but paladin is not included in the main pack).
July 22, 2011 at 5:19 pm
HAH. HHHAAAAAAAHHHHH. That’s amazing and I love you for this.
July 12, 2011 at 6:43 pm
I love the Regretsy adventuring party. Reminds me of one I was in. (Goes off to look for picture(
July 12, 2011 at 2:34 pm
“I’ve personally searched through hundreds of tail, looking for the nicest one”
This guy and Hugh Hefner would get along well!
July 12, 2011 at 2:40 pm
That statement should win an award.
July 12, 2011 at 2:34 pm
Poor Captain Nemo got lost on the way to Atlantis.
July 12, 2011 at 2:34 pm
For a second I thought all those dangling tails were additional legs, which would have made him Morticia Addams’s brother.
July 12, 2011 at 2:38 pm
I think for the first time ever, someone isn’t charging enough for their tacky and gross creation.
July 12, 2011 at 2:39 pm
I forgot where the penis goes, so I just put a bobcat tail codpiece every six inches around the entire circumference of the robe.
July 12, 2011 at 2:41 pm
I have intimate knowledge of where the penis goes….for future reference.
July 12, 2011 at 2:42 pm
I’m guessing anyone who wears this monstrosity won’t have to worry about where the penis goes.
July 12, 2011 at 7:17 pm
If you’re wearing this thing? The answer is “in the hand”.
ALWAYS “in the hand”…
July 12, 2011 at 4:51 pm
I was wondering if pussy’s tails were the barbarian’s version of a red sports car. What was seller’s name again , Tiny?
July 12, 2011 at 2:39 pm
I’d buy one, but the pouch isn’t natural buffalo scrotum. It looks like regular ol’ leather. And if it’s not authentic scrotum, it ain’t shit.
July 12, 2011 at 2:41 pm
Funny, that’s the same tagline I’m reading on the side of my energy drink…
July 12, 2011 at 2:42 pm
Red Balls?
July 12, 2011 at 2:43 pm
It gives you wings! And minotaurs babies.
July 12, 2011 at 2:51 pm
“Don’t suck on that – it’s dead.” – Your Highness.
July 12, 2011 at 3:07 pm
Is that line down the middle the scrotumnal equinox?
July 12, 2011 at 7:20 pm
On the other hand, “Mr. Scrotumnus” sounds like a character in a porn adaptation of “The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe”…
July 12, 2011 at 8:56 pm
Gah! Rule 34?!?!
<>
July 13, 2011 at 11:56 am
Buffalo is tough-a-lo, but kangaroo is softer.
http://www.australiagift.com/scrotum_shop/scrotum.htm
July 12, 2011 at 2:40 pm
Fur robe+Witch Queen crown=Best LARP costume ever.
July 12, 2011 at 2:45 pm
Where exactly would one wear this, besides a costume party? Does the “artist” who spends lots of time and effort making shit like this seriously think he or she is creating something awesome? And, OMG, is that my ex-husband wearing that idiotic get-up?
July 12, 2011 at 3:01 pm
LARPing, I’d say. I LARP and I think that robe looks pretty awesome. I’ve seen some people spend over $1,200 on costuming before so someone eventually wearing that robe isn’t unheard of.
/nerdhat
July 12, 2011 at 9:46 pm
You’d better be LARPing in cool weather. I don’t care how much “air flow” that thing has, that’s got to be hot as the armpits of Satan in the summer.
I don’t LARP, persay, but I do cosplay, which is nearly the same thing except we’re not acting.
July 13, 2011 at 12:00 am
(Well, actually, most cosplayers do act in character, at least for a little bit. That’s where the “play” part of costume play comes from.
Please picture the parentheses as whispering, because even on the internet, I’m too embarrassed to talk about my stupid hobbies above a whisper.)
July 12, 2011 at 2:45 pm
Gross, April. First it’s nail clippings and hair, then period blood, and now someone’s making a damn coat out of her own shaved beaver?!?
July 12, 2011 at 2:48 pm
I sheared my beaver for this?
July 12, 2011 at 2:52 pm
It’s all about the weaving.
July 12, 2011 at 4:23 pm
[insert joke about beavers wearing weaves here]
July 12, 2011 at 4:54 pm
Next list I sign up for I’m going to be Beaver Weaver.
July 12, 2011 at 8:59 pm
This texture reminds me of something, that’s also furry and woven.
http://www.academyfence.com/images/chainlink/permanent_hedge_slats_big.jpg
Apparently, this stuff now comes in a wearable, brown color!
July 12, 2011 at 4:33 pm
But is it VIRGINAL beaver?? I know a place where they can make sure it SEEMS like a virgin….
July 12, 2011 at 2:46 pm
And it’s great at cocktail parties. That WTFisthat!? smell will make sure everyone notices you!
July 12, 2011 at 2:48 pm
Aesthetically, I love this. I just have no idea what one would do with such an expensive and… “different” piece. But the costume design bit of me loves it nonetheless.
July 12, 2011 at 3:02 pm
I really like the look of it as well. As I’ve suggested to others, the robe would probably appeal to a very narrow group: LARPers with expendable money.
July 12, 2011 at 4:59 pm
I like the look of it too. I even understand the price, fur is a pain to work with, you have to cut all the pieces from the back side with a knife, if you use scissors you end up with little fur bits all over your workspace and it’s almost as hard to clean up as glitter. However I have no idea what I’d use it for. . .
July 12, 2011 at 5:43 pm
I’m really glad I’m not the only person who actually finds this pretty cool, from that standpoint. It’s not like it looks hideously ratty or anything, and working with leather and fur can be a pain. Aesthetically, I think it’s actually quite lovely, and I sorta wish I had the money for it.
Not that I have any idea where I’d wear it. The Rennfest here is pretty relaxed and definitely not anal about accuracy, and would probably enjoy this, but “here” also happens to be east of the Rockies, in Colorado, in late July. Hellz naw.
July 12, 2011 at 9:48 pm
I like the fur, it looks to be good quality, but random tails everywhere? No. It looks like they went “Ooh, what can we throw on there? Teeth? Antlers? Nah, let’s toss on some tails and call it a day.”
July 12, 2011 at 2:49 pm
The seller is also moving this stunning corset. Cannot unsee. Someone please explain the saran wrap and red fur?
http://ny-image2.etsy.com/il_570xN.188976810.jpg
July 12, 2011 at 2:50 pm
Damn – great minds think alike.
July 12, 2011 at 2:52 pm
Um, is the red ring SUPPOSED to look like a goatee?
July 12, 2011 at 2:52 pm
Goatse! Goatse! Damn you, autocorrect.
July 12, 2011 at 4:42 pm
I think the fuzzy ring in front may be to hold a strap-on.
July 12, 2011 at 6:31 pm
That’s just heartbreaking.
July 12, 2011 at 2:54 pm
For The Ginger’s last birthday, I got him Thorn Dice. This time, I’ll have to get him this rockin’ costume.
July 12, 2011 at 2:56 pm
Maybe that’s where your bits are supposed to go? XO I keep looking at the pic and giggling at how silly that would look… and why bright red?
July 12, 2011 at 3:43 pm
If I was to make an honest guess at the saran wrap usage, I would say it’s to keep his body hair from getting pinched in the corset. Perhaps?
July 12, 2011 at 3:54 pm
He’s trying to follow The Golden Rule. If the article doesn’t actually touch his skin, it’s new.
July 12, 2011 at 3:55 pm
Damn, didn’t see your comment spyglassez.
July 12, 2011 at 4:42 pm
That is what I am thinking.
July 12, 2011 at 4:13 pm
Great muppety Odin, he’s skinned Elmo!
The brute.
http://ny-image2.etsy.com/il_fullxfull.188977138.jpg
July 12, 2011 at 4:34 pm
:spit:
July 12, 2011 at 4:16 pm
Oh shit, you missed the back:
And before you ask, the description says it’s bleached and dyed beaver fur. IT’S ORANGE DYED BEAVER FUR.
July 12, 2011 at 4:59 pm
I don’t care what the kids are doing now. I didn’t “repair” my bajingo and I won’t dye my beaver, so there!
July 12, 2011 at 5:21 pm
C’mon Alice…ALL the cool kids are dying their pubes orange…..you want to be cool don’t you? Don’t you? DON’T YOU?!!!!!!
July 13, 2011 at 5:26 pm
And be hip? I don’t think so. ;0
July 12, 2011 at 5:18 pm
Looks like raccoon to me.
July 12, 2011 at 6:45 pm
No self-respecting bleached & dyed orange beaver has a striped furry tail. Really!
July 12, 2011 at 9:50 pm
I can’t get over this line in the description for the corset: “I’m selling this to re-finance for more materials that i cannot dumpster-dive”.
ew… orange bever goatse from the dumpster….
July 12, 2011 at 2:49 pm
How did we miss this one? http://www.etsy.com/listing/60658231/leather-corset?ref=v1_other_1
Not sure why he’s wrapped in plastic….
July 12, 2011 at 2:53 pm
So that when you get the one he’s wearing, you can rest assured it didn’t actually touch his body? He’s kind of copper-plating the golden rule.
July 12, 2011 at 2:54 pm
XO Wow…
I think it’s something they do for new tattoos… but it looks a bit hilarious they chose him as the model still. XD
July 12, 2011 at 3:53 pm
I’m wondering if he’s a leather daddy who also moonlights as a furry.
July 12, 2011 at 4:57 pm
Sanitized for our protection.
July 12, 2011 at 7:24 pm
Alas, my brain cannot say the same…
July 12, 2011 at 2:52 pm
That would be awesome for some kind of movie costume… or… something. Dunno about $1200 awesome… but for that specific thing it would be awesome. Anything else you’d probably keel over in about 20 minutes from heat exhaustion. Even larpers have a bit more sense when they get in costume. XD
Or hey! It’d be great for that new Ren Fest they’re starting up in the North Pole!
July 12, 2011 at 2:52 pm
I wonder how much it weighs…
July 12, 2011 at 3:04 pm
Not all LARPers do. I have a strict no fur policy when LARPing in non winter months but I’ve seen people covered in fur and armor…even in 95 degree weather.
I call those people idiots.
July 12, 2011 at 2:52 pm
Does Jerry Mathers know about this?
(Showing my age.)
July 12, 2011 at 2:54 pm
“Ward, I’m worried about the Beaver.”
“Beaver, hell, what about the bobcat and lynx?”
July 12, 2011 at 3:09 pm
Eddie Haskell convinced him to do it.
July 12, 2011 at 5:22 pm
Dirtiest line ever spoken on T.V.: “Ward, you were too hard on the Beaver last night”.
July 12, 2011 at 2:55 pm
Hm. It might be amtgard legal, but I bet it isn’t belegarth-rated for armor.
July 12, 2011 at 3:06 pm
NERO would probably give it the same armor rating as light leather armor. Depends on the rules marshal, I guess.
IMHO, if you’re going to drop a grand on armor, get some nice chain or plate.
July 12, 2011 at 2:57 pm
Hagrid’s lunch? Or Hagrid’s bitch?
July 12, 2011 at 2:59 pm
This is not right. That’s a photo from the Hall of Man dioramas at the Natural History Museum. You know, the part about Neanderthal Man during the Ice Age.
July 12, 2011 at 3:38 pm
July 12, 2011 at 6:38 pm
Otze (the Iceman found in the Alps) was not Neanderthal, he was a modern human. He also had better fashion sense, because despite being encased in ice for 1500 years, he also only had frostbite on one of his pinky toes.
/nerd.
July 12, 2011 at 7:26 pm
July 12, 2011 at 8:27 pm
Wow… I’m actually impressed that you not only recognized the mummy but knew enough about it that you could recount his gender and frostbite count! I have to thumbs up that kind of dedicated Pedantry.
July 13, 2011 at 10:25 am
I thought he was called Ötzi?
July 13, 2011 at 11:55 am
Yes… his name is Ötzi and he’s been encased in ice for 5300 years, not 1500. Also, his corpse is NOT reanimated, and even if it were, he probably would not use words like “dude.”
Some Dutch artists made an astonishing recreation of how he looked when he was alive. It’s weird though… he looks really familiar!
July 15, 2011 at 7:53 pm
Yeah, duh. Otzi. Call that a typo. And I think I said 1500 year ago, but I also think I meant 1500 BC. That’s what I get for posting drunk. And I love the Pedantry poster.
*hangs head*
July 12, 2011 at 3:04 pm
I really love this, actually.
Then again I’m a LARPer, so there’s probably something wrong with my brain.
July 12, 2011 at 3:10 pm
Now this is the outfit to get for Bronc for your trip to Finland, this is their style and it will keep him warm!! You can spend all day petting HIS beaver!
July 12, 2011 at 3:13 pm
Why, April. That sounds like the voice of experience somehow.
July 12, 2011 at 3:20 pm
I saw a werewolf drinking a pina colada at Trader Vic’s,
And his hair was….perfect
Aroooooh….
July 12, 2011 at 3:22 pm
JESUS CHRIST, THERE IS A FUCKING “F” IN THE WORD “OF.”
Seriously, of the long list of things that boggle my mind about this shop, seller profile, and the items featured, the repeated use of “ov” is the most significant.
July 12, 2011 at 3:31 pm
Oh… it’s a snood… for your whole body…
July 12, 2011 at 6:18 pm
Translated – makes all your body, not just head and shoulders look weird & ugly.
July 12, 2011 at 3:39 pm
If I’m counting the tails right … three are 50+ cats on that thing. While I’m most assuredly not a PETA supporter and I thoroughly enjoy my meats … This fact alone makes me a little sad.
July 12, 2011 at 3:40 pm
*there are
*sigh* I CAN’T TYPE THROUGH THE TEARS!!
July 12, 2011 at 6:06 pm
“so none are endangered species as of 2011.” No, the Lynx is “only” threatened, (just vulnerable to extinction as opposed to will soon be extinct) and may only be hunted in Alaska. I’m notPETA either but if you hunt & eat it that is one thing, if you NEED fur to stay warm, ok. But tails for a costume? That is VERY sad.
July 12, 2011 at 3:40 pm
As much as I love having a nice piece of beaver to keep me warm at night-this isn’t exactly what I had in mind.
July 12, 2011 at 3:42 pm
Poseidon hunting for some sweet wet beaver.
July 12, 2011 at 3:45 pm
“The most spectacular thing you’ll never actually wear.” We might need to create an “Awesome But Useless category up in here…
July 12, 2011 at 3:54 pm
Actually – if you played your cards right you could end up making money off this purchase.
You just collect the musk-ox ball sweat – bottle it in an upcycled vintage condition jar – call it holistic (cures, headaches, fainting spells, TMJ, skin rashes, bunions, and more!) take a picture of it outside on barn wood and write a story about how the the mustached octopus told you all about this special recipe. And you are on your way to front page etsy power seller success!
Bonus points if you sell the 8 by 10 photo separately as art.
Oh – and that idea is copyrighted. If you want it you have to pay me.
July 12, 2011 at 4:12 pm
The ball sweat would probably sell really well in parts of Asia as medicine. They seem to like that kind of thing.
Ughhhhh fwah blaeeecccchhhh
July 12, 2011 at 4:00 pm
They ship worldwide from the States. I am DYING – and apparently, so are many cats – to witness that conversation at USPS when the seller is filling out the customs form.
“Does this package contain animal products?”
“Wee-e-e-e-ell…”
I also want photos from the first public wearing of this thing. What DO you become when you don it? Posei-don’t? Shiva the Canadian? The Dangly Neptunian? GOOD LORD WHAT IS IT FOR?!?
July 12, 2011 at 5:25 pm
I vote for the Dangly Neptunian…but then, I’d vote for that regardless of the costume.
July 12, 2011 at 4:02 pm
July 12, 2011 at 4:02 pm
So he took something nice, like beaver/etc fur, and wove it into something that looks like a collage of carpet samples?
Ok.
July 12, 2011 at 4:23 pm
Do not underestimate the “Furries” market.
July 12, 2011 at 4:25 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
July 12, 2011 at 4:37 pm
am I the only one with the Airplane! reference screaming to me?
“nice beaver you got there ma’am.”
July 12, 2011 at 5:26 pm
Wasn’t that from “The Naked Gun” when Priscilla Presley was up on the ladder and Leslie Nielsen was looking up at her? “Nice Beaver!”. “Thanks, I just had it stuffed.”
July 12, 2011 at 6:11 pm
ohhh, you’re right you’re right.
July 12, 2011 at 4:51 pm
Norbert?!? Dagget?!?!
July 12, 2011 at 5:27 pm
I can guarantee these beavers are Angry indeed.
July 12, 2011 at 8:31 pm
DEARGODS I LOVE YOU FOR THAT!!! I forgot how much I love that show and will now commence to look for it on Netflix
July 12, 2011 at 4:53 pm
That’s it, I’ve had it. Not only am I still squinting at those thingies hanging off the faux fur, are they little furry feet or puffed up (scared shitless)little tails, or horses hooves or the legs that fell off the stuffed animal bargain bin in the dollar store?
I don’t wanna know.
July 12, 2011 at 5:23 pm
This is what happens when men are alone all winter reading Conan The Barbarian.
July 12, 2011 at 5:45 pm
Well now I have my outfit for the annual cavemen of American convention…
July 12, 2011 at 5:52 pm
Damnit – is it knit or is it woven? These things make a difference!
July 12, 2011 at 5:53 pm
Next time I get invited to LARP in Antarctica I’ll be sad that I missed out on buying this!
July 12, 2011 at 6:53 pm
Needs musical accompaniment:
http://www.stryder.de/anigif/viking_kittens.swf
July 12, 2011 at 6:55 pm
Helen, I liked your beaver costume better.
July 12, 2011 at 7:26 pm
Frankly, I’m amazed that the description doesn’t make any claims that this is a shamanistic robe blessed by wiccan priestesses that will allow you to commune with the spirit world. It also never claims to be made of the pelt of the Arthurian Questing Beast or to cure cancer.
For that, I say weave on, mighty beaver slayer of etsy.
July 12, 2011 at 9:05 pm
Mighty Beaver Slayer is my Native American name
July 12, 2011 at 7:30 pm
Oh damn, guess I can’t go authentic if I want to dress as a goddamn lunatic for Halloween.
July 12, 2011 at 8:04 pm
I love when the crafters take the time to tell you things like that they looked through hundreds “ov” tails before throwing a handful onto this thing.
July 12, 2011 at 8:26 pm
Awesomest. Coat. Ever.
July 12, 2011 at 9:15 pm
This is actually pretty epic. I could see the Druid from Diablo 2 wearing this in winter.
July 12, 2011 at 9:38 pm
I can imagine you could use this for some sexy, sexy larping.
July 12, 2011 at 10:23 pm
I think you could dial the size of the smell of this thing all the way up to 11.
July 13, 2011 at 2:48 am
Don’t wander in the woods with this on. Or you’ll risk facing a very angry mob of wild felines ready to avenge their loved ones. And you’ll learn what “sheared” really means.
July 13, 2011 at 8:11 am
Things I shouldn’t say about this or the person wearing this…
1. Nice Beaver!
2. Is that a lynx tail between your legs or are you just happy to see me?
3. You finally got a piece of tail, didn’t ya?
4. Phew!! Are you sure they didn’t use Skunk Tails?
5. Soooo, you still live at home with your parents?
6. You’re wearing that, and you won’t eat veal?
7. Ya know…for $1200, you could have gotten a real wardrobe.
8. Fur, in the summer? Where’s your fashion sense!
9. So….was that a shaved beaver?
10. ok…how many endangered species can you wear in one outfit!
July 13, 2011 at 1:31 pm
All I can think is “Captain CAAAVEMAAAN!”
<img src ="http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20080304230554/uncyclopedia/images/4/4e/Captain_caveman.jpg"
July 13, 2011 at 1:33 pm
well if I knew my HTML better and was more sober that would be a picture of my favorite animated cave-person
July 13, 2011 at 4:56 pm
If he’s going to sell that thing for $1200, he needs to do a better job bragging about the number of non-beaver animals that went into the beaver suit. I count four in the description, but that’s just lazy–he could throw in some squirrel, housecat, and deer in there easily (you don’t even have to kill them or buy them if you have a keen eye and a car). Or at least mention the sheer quantity of animal parts included:
“No fewer than thirty-seven animals gave their lives for this fashionable garment, which is suitable for anyone who enjoys shamanism, yet still enjoys the touch of real fur.”
I probably shouldn’t do marketing.
July 13, 2011 at 7:22 pm
Took me a while to get the pun in the title.
Then I tittered.
I think there needs to be a “Who wore it better” with Mel Gibson.
July 14, 2011 at 7:07 am
You know what costs less than $1,200? <b?THERAPY.