STOP IT
STOP MAKING CRAFTS WITH YOUR BODY PARTS
Stop knitting with your pubic hair and sculpting your ear wax and saving your cuticles to throw at weddings. Just stop it right now.
Jesus would you look at that? That is enough to put me off my feed. I swear to God I saw something moving in there.
Oh, I know what you’re going to say. “People often made crafts with their hair in Victorian times!”
Wow, that’s really interesting. Oh look at the time! It’s 2011. We don’t die of black lung, we don’t get run over by horse drawn carts and we don’t have to sit around making shit with our dandruff.
WE HAVE YARN NOW
July 7, 2011 at 7:00 pm
OMG!!! I have tons of supplies Anna pulls out of my head everyday!!!
UCK!!!!
July 7, 2011 at 7:10 pm
I pull one of those out of the tub drain every day. Silly me for throwing it away… I should be selling it on Etsy.
*barfs a little*
July 7, 2011 at 7:18 pm
“Silly me for throwing it away… I should be selling it on Etsy.”
it is completely odd how many times I have had this exact same though while reading regretsy or even paging through etsy.
And yet – somehow – I still manage not to attempt to sell sawdust as a wedding favor, or my kids diaper as a work of art and other such things.
part of me wonders if this makes me a logical sane person or a person with very little business sense.
the lines are getting blurred.
July 7, 2011 at 7:27 pm
I think it means that you’re not morally or hygienically bankrupt.
July 7, 2011 at 8:18 pm
No, no – keep throwing it away.
The only reason I would buy this would be to use it to hex the seller into cutting this shit out.
July 7, 2011 at 8:36 pm
ZCM- I think you may be on to something there… Is there a Voudoun listing on Etsy?
July 7, 2011 at 9:30 pm
Man, that could have been an Alchemy subsection.
July 8, 2011 at 9:51 am
“morally or hygienically bankrupt” is the PERFECT use of words. I will these terms for a few of my coworkers.
July 9, 2011 at 3:50 pm
I think you could market this on etsy. Have people pay $20, they send you the disgusting item they purchased from some other etsy seller and you use your voodoo on them.
July 7, 2011 at 7:00 pm
The hair I don’t mind so much, although I wish she’d maybe treated it so it was more… cordlike and tighter wound.
It’s the nail clippings that are squicking me out.
July 7, 2011 at 7:04 pm
It’s the entire thing that’s Squicking me out. Really. WTF.
July 7, 2011 at 7:06 pm
I’m trying to be open minded. It’s not working very well. >.<'
July 7, 2011 at 7:13 pm
If you just heard a clanging sound, that was my mind slamming shut like a steel trap.
July 7, 2011 at 8:17 pm
Regretsy has managed to make me seriously ill. Twice. In one day. New record! I’ve never actually had my gag reflex go off from something here before. I’ve got a pretty strong stomach…but… I have to go with CLH >SQUICK! *hides from page*
July 7, 2011 at 8:25 pm
As Admiral Grace Hopper once said, “I believe in having an open mind, but not so open that your brains fall out.”
Not going to say anything about brains falling out and taking the hair and dandruff with them…
July 7, 2011 at 8:58 pm
I was eating when I opened this up – stupid me.
Victorian hair art is actually an art, not a piece that looks like your cat has been eating shit out of the bathroom trash again and then threw up.
Seriously, this one made me gag. The cookies were ugg, this is just nasty.
July 19, 2011 at 5:24 pm
Have to agree. Carrying Victorian-style momento made from the follicles of your loved one is one thing (sort of like a soldier carrying his lady love’s braid with him off to war), but buying a complete stranger’s carotin, woven into a doily is something else entirely.
July 7, 2011 at 7:07 pm
Yeah, I sometimes use horse tail hair I find stuck in the fences to make bracelets, but I at least wash and condition it before braiding it.
July 7, 2011 at 7:13 pm
And it’s Horsehair, NOT Human Hair. Big big difference!
July 7, 2011 at 8:55 pm
Explain to me the difference. I don’t see much difference between human hair and horse hair, assuming it’s all washed first.
Fingernails… that’s disgusting.
July 8, 2011 at 2:20 pm
I may accidentally incorporate a strand of loose hair in my yarn, when I’m spinning (I have really long hair). However, it’s always accidental, I pluck it out if I should come across one, and most importantly – I don’t walk around looking like someone upended a salt shaker on my head. Jesus Christ, if you have dandruff that bad, they make medicated shampoos these days.
Don’t even get me started on the toenails.
July 7, 2011 at 9:12 pm
Just add some hoof clippings and you can compete. =)
July 7, 2011 at 9:15 pm
“Squicking me out” is my new favorite phrase.
July 8, 2011 at 10:18 am
Yeah human hair’s not my thing; like most other posters I pull a “doily” out of my shower drain each morning. But the part that made me go “holy whimsicle vomit, Batman” was the nail clippings.
July 7, 2011 at 7:01 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
July 7, 2011 at 9:03 pm
I guess you didn’t know the Victorians did it as a memento mori – a piece to remember their loved ones by in an era where photography was prohibitive in cost and actually rather rare still – which is why you have so many post mortem photos with the whole family gathered around the dead one.
Seriously – google Victorian Hair Jewelry – far cry from anything done during WWII.
July 8, 2011 at 7:17 pm
My goodness! Yes, I did know about the Victorians. But this one still brought the Holocaust straight to mind. I think it was something about the way this was done. (For one thing, the victorians predated the Nazis by a few years), and the way all of her hair nail fuckery is so creepy. I consider the hair art Helen posted today gorgeous, so I think it’s all about context. Anyway, sorry I flipped everybody out!
July 13, 2011 at 6:59 am
Yes, the Victorians did keep mementos made of human hair from their loved ones, but it was braided or plaited and set in jewelry. Not something scraped out of the bathroom sink trap, stretched out on a cheesecake pan and sprinkled with nail clippings.
July 19, 2011 at 5:36 pm
I think part of the point was/is that it is from someone you know and love. Not some nut out there in cyberspace who is weaving with her own hair. There is outsider art and there’s so-way-out-there-I-don’t-even-know-what-to-call-it. And hair and nail clippings are believed to have power in some religious traditions. Like voodoo. Not that I’m into that, but you can’t be too careful, can you?
July 7, 2011 at 7:01 pm
*barf*
July 7, 2011 at 7:50 pm
Oooh, now you too have material to create something to sell on Etsy.
July 7, 2011 at 7:01 pm
is that…dandruff? ಠ_ಠ
July 7, 2011 at 7:04 pm
Looks like it. Eww.
July 7, 2011 at 7:09 pm
Nah, that’s a beautiful play of the light.
July 7, 2011 at 7:15 pm
On a nicely textured springform pan.
July 7, 2011 at 7:43 pm
Which was spritzed with salt spray.
July 7, 2011 at 7:19 pm
I didn’t honestly think this was too awful (I’m an art major; weird shit is…sometimes actual shit) until I noticed the dandruff.
URGH BLARGH BLUUUURGGGGH
July 7, 2011 at 8:21 pm
I think she calls it “salt spray,” or maybe it is the nail clippings?
July 7, 2011 at 7:37 pm
I wonder why she didn’t mention the scalp sheddings? Surely they add value? This may be the most repulsive thing you’ve featured, Mrs Regretsy Lady. Kudos.
July 7, 2011 at 7:47 pm
NO NO it’s salt, don’t ask me why, maybe as a preservative, DON’T MAKE IT WORSE THAN IT IS OH GOD
July 7, 2011 at 8:10 pm
Salt spray would make the doily stiffer. Which, BTW, is unnecessary if you’re going to stretch it.
July 8, 2011 at 9:55 am
I don’t think those are beads.
They are SCABS :’(
July 7, 2011 at 7:01 pm
Looks like something Hannibal Lechter would have made at summer camp.
Grody.
July 7, 2011 at 7:05 pm
All it’s missing is a soft skin liner
July 7, 2011 at 11:47 pm
Don’t forget the fava beans and a nice bottle of chianti to celebrate your ‘art’ afterward.
July 8, 2011 at 6:25 am
Certainly not. Hannibal might like this as a trophy. But even him would be unable to eat anything for at least 2 hours after being close to it.
July 7, 2011 at 8:33 pm
Nah. Buffalo Bill. He’s the one into skin suits.
July 7, 2011 at 9:00 pm
July 7, 2011 at 9:18 pm
It puts the Head and Shoulders on it’s scalp or else it gets the hose again…
July 12, 2011 at 8:57 pm
Lotion by the Greenskeepers totally came on when I scrolled down to this picture. And I love you for it!
July 7, 2011 at 7:01 pm
Hold on, let me clean my shower drain.
July 7, 2011 at 7:01 pm
This clearly came from their bathroom drain, the only thing missing is semen.
July 7, 2011 at 7:03 pm
The only thing missing as far as you know.
July 7, 2011 at 8:38 pm
Shhh! She’ll up the price for this garbage!
July 8, 2011 at 5:30 pm
She does mention “salt spray.”
July 7, 2011 at 7:09 pm
What do you think is holding that together?
July 7, 2011 at 7:36 pm
The broken dreams and hopeless desires of a person who crafts with their own shed body parts.
July 8, 2011 at 5:07 pm
Sperm.
July 7, 2011 at 7:18 pm
Why were there seed beads in their bathroom drain…?
July 7, 2011 at 7:31 pm
what? Where do you do bead craft?
July 7, 2011 at 7:37 pm
Rarely in the bathroom.
July 7, 2011 at 7:53 pm
Pshuh. Canadians.
July 7, 2011 at 7:56 pm
Yeah, we’re so CONVENTIONAL!
July 7, 2011 at 7:54 pm
“Seed beads” could be a euphemism.
July 7, 2011 at 8:19 pm
“seed beads”? Is that something you could make a “pearl necklace” out of?
July 7, 2011 at 9:45 pm
They should see a doctor if their “seed beads” are red like that.
July 7, 2011 at 7:01 pm
This looks like it was found at the scene of a horrible hippie massacre.
July 7, 2011 at 7:06 pm
Yes, and they cleaned the crime scene with kale leaves.
July 7, 2011 at 7:27 pm
Ain’t nothin’ horrible about a hippie massacre.
July 7, 2011 at 7:36 pm
That might be the worst thing I’ve ever written on the internet. Just on the internet, though. I’m much meaner in real life.
July 7, 2011 at 7:45 pm
I’ve been meaning to say this to you for a while, hold me closer.
July 7, 2011 at 7:47 pm
I like hippies. Nice, clean, TV hippies.
July 7, 2011 at 10:28 pm
Especially if it was done during a drum circle.
July 7, 2011 at 7:43 pm
“Horrible Hippie Massacre” If anyone on here works for Troma, there is the title of your next film. Please make it. You can even buy this creepy thing and use it as a prop.
July 7, 2011 at 7:02 pm
The Victorian hair jewelry was NOTHING LIKE THIS. If you didn’t know better, you’d think it was like, silk cord.
I collect Victorian jewelry and have several “hair” pieces, and this? this is disgusting.
July 7, 2011 at 7:07 pm
I like how we both capitalised our abhorance. And we managed to do it simultaneously.
July 7, 2011 at 7:27 pm
Glad I’m not the one horribly offended by this.
July 7, 2011 at 7:28 pm
only one*
July 7, 2011 at 7:28 pm
Exactly. Not to mention the fact that in most cases, the jewelry was made with a dead loved one’s hair in memory. I think taste died in this case. I think it’s the nail clippings that makes it disgusting, besides that fact it looks gross.
July 7, 2011 at 8:03 pm
Only the nail clippings?
July 7, 2011 at 8:44 pm
Well, not always — the lockets with a loose curl in usually come from someone who died, while the complex cording work will often be the (living) maker’s hair. Cuff bracelets, for instance, would often be made with the maker’s hair in a cuff supporting a curl of her absent lover’s or father’s.
That’s not always the case, though — the historic house I work at has a horseshoe-shaped wreath which was made from the hair of deceased members of the Pinckney and Adger families. It’s a beautiful, exquisite thing — looks like very small, tight macrame. Lost babies’ hair has been worked into little golden flowers. Sad and beautiful.
It helps, of course, that Victorians’ hair was usually oiled and not as often washed and stripped of its natural smoothing oils and the ends not tucked in and dehydrated and knotted and scraggly and dishwatery and gaaaaah vomit.
July 7, 2011 at 11:18 pm
Don’t forget the fact she’s not cutting it off her head, she’s just prying it out of her hair brush and saving it. And has no idea how to make it into yarn OR how to make it… Not… disgusting.
… And as for the toenails, I’d be happier with… I have no idea. The woman needs some sort of medication.
July 8, 2011 at 11:38 am
And honestly, that work is rather easy to do – thin wire, a very thin DPN or tatting needle, hair – and you get those lovely flowers. The part that still baffles me is the hair loom – wich looks like a giant thread spool – and how they make those woven tubes. I never mastered that – but then I can’t tat either.
July 7, 2011 at 7:02 pm
That is repulsive. I just puked in my mouth, and I think it was less disgusting than that “craft.”
July 7, 2011 at 7:02 pm
I just puked in my mouth. Maybe I can weave that into a dream-catcher or something.
July 7, 2011 at 7:11 pm
More like a Nightmare Catcher
July 7, 2011 at 7:02 pm
It should be noted that Victorian hair jewellery was CLEANED and COMBED before being turned into very fine works. Creepy, but not disgusting. THIS is disgusting.
July 7, 2011 at 8:49 pm
Exactly. I prefer my creepy to be clean and slightly disinfected. Must explain why I prefer Bela Lugosi’s Dracula over Nosferatu.
July 7, 2011 at 7:02 pm
Oh my god, I thought I was grossed out as I could be when I read “human hair doily”, but then I got to “with fingernails” and the grossed-out-ness tripled.
July 7, 2011 at 7:15 pm
And did you see those nails? I think they came from big foot!
July 8, 2011 at 7:07 am
Goonie goo goo! Damn Sasquatch….
July 11, 2011 at 12:21 pm
And now the rest of my day is shot watching Eddie Murphy clips. Atleast I made it till 3:30.
July 7, 2011 at 7:02 pm
FUCKING DAMMIT ALL TO FUCKING HELL. I WAS EATING DINNER WHEN I OPENED THIS. CHEESEBURGER HAMBURGER HELPER.
Excuse me while I try and keep it down.
July 7, 2011 at 7:23 pm
Don’t you know better than that by now?
April was just lulling you with that cake post. All the rest blue poop paintings and human hair.
July 7, 2011 at 8:28 pm
And now you ruined the cake!
The blue layer is a no go from now on, which means you not only fucked up the cake, but you FUCKED UP THE FLAG…
Soul raper.
July 8, 2011 at 10:05 am
Wait… blue poop paintings? Oh, probably referring to the old ones. Damn. DAMN. Now I have that (blue)shit hole (excuse the pun) in my head again!!!
July 7, 2011 at 7:03 pm
“salt sprayed”? looks likes nits to me.
gag.
July 7, 2011 at 7:11 pm
Not sure, but I think the seller’s trying (& failing) to be poetic about her graying hair.
July 7, 2011 at 7:45 pm
That’s what I assumed at first, but I’ve found it’s dangerous to assume anything about Etsy.
July 7, 2011 at 8:21 pm
Very true.
July 7, 2011 at 7:03 pm
On the other hand, if I ever want to become a creepy serial killer, I know who I’m looking up to do my decor!
July 7, 2011 at 7:03 pm
Oh hi again dinner! how you been?
July 7, 2011 at 7:04 pm
At what point does one become batshit-insane enough to think “Gah, gross! I need to cut my toenails. But they would look aMAYzing hanging on my bedroom wall”?
July 7, 2011 at 7:09 pm
Be sure to “finish” them with some seed beeds for a lush, unexpected contrast.
July 7, 2011 at 7:13 pm
I’m not entirely sure what is “lush” about any of that mess, these people bandying it about etsy really must not know what the word means.
July 7, 2011 at 7:18 pm
Maybe sellers with poorly thought out or poorly made products use “lush” as code for “I was drunk when I made this.”
July 7, 2011 at 7:30 pm
“You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”
July 7, 2011 at 7:55 pm
“Unexpected” certainly holds true, though.
July 7, 2011 at 7:15 pm
Ugh. It’s a horrible waste of seed beads.
July 7, 2011 at 7:04 pm
I’m pretty sure this is a psychiatric condition in need of treatment. Rather like the maker’s dandruff.
July 7, 2011 at 8:18 pm
My bi-polar sister pulls her hair out and makes little piles when she is stressed. I will have to tell her to start saving it to make revolting shit to sell on etsy.
July 7, 2011 at 9:33 pm
She can join those of use in the Trichotillomania club. (literally: hair pulling frenzy)
July 8, 2011 at 5:23 pm
and I just realized I put use instead of us. *probieslaps self*
July 7, 2011 at 7:04 pm
I’m still calling the next big thing as being needlefelting pubic hair.
You could remove your pants and say “LOOK! It is a fantastical dragon sculpture!”
(Also, it’s funny to see people’s reactions when they realize that it would involve extremely sharp needles poking by their nethers.)
July 7, 2011 at 7:05 pm
So you cater to the S&M crowd.
July 7, 2011 at 7:12 pm
And the risk-taking adrenaline junkies!
July 7, 2011 at 7:23 pm
Furries?
July 8, 2011 at 8:19 am
I can already do that. Except it’s more of an eel. With a nose ring.
July 7, 2011 at 7:04 pm
I prefer my human skin lamp.
July 7, 2011 at 7:04 pm
Why is the hair salt-sprayed? Did this happen, ahem, naturally while walking on a sunset beach or from liking that sunset a little too much? This is the ick factor I’ve decided to concentrate on as my brain simply refuses to process crafting with fingernail fragments.
July 7, 2011 at 7:05 pm
I prefer to masturbate on all my crafts. This is normal.
July 7, 2011 at 8:30 pm
Saves on glue?
July 7, 2011 at 9:49 pm
Pretty much. I’m a girl…does that make it more disturbing?
July 7, 2011 at 11:56 pm
Nah, just harder to aim without a hose.
July 7, 2011 at 7:04 pm
*sigh* why must people insist on taking a lovely Victorian art and turning it into crap that looks like it was digested by a goat? Why? Study the art properly. Don’t sell your first attempt. That is all.
July 7, 2011 at 7:25 pm
Did the Victorians display their art on springform pans?
July 7, 2011 at 7:30 pm
I’m going to be kind and assume that’s what she used for pinning it out. When you do these things you have pins to hold it to your boards. Not so kind is assuming she has any kind of talent for this.
July 8, 2011 at 5:30 am
Exactly. Why a SPRINGFORM pan? If I give this person the Xtreme benefit of the doubt, the only craft materials she can afford in her desperate hobo world are stuff that is shed from her own body. So even in her warped little brain she has some internally consistent logic.
…Which she then rips to shreds by mounting this abomination on a springform pan.
It’s like she sat around thinking, you know what would really spruce the place up? A doily made of ratty hair and fingernails. Oooh, not random enough…let’s mount it on a springform pan! Perfection!
July 8, 2011 at 5:35 pm
Well, I’m sure it dresses up the inside of her cardboard box nicely.
July 7, 2011 at 7:39 pm
I’m glad I’m not the only person who’s thought this! I think the nineteenth-century hair jewelry really can be exquisite – and quite moving in the case of mourning pieces. But this… fingernail thing? Just REALLY offensive.
July 7, 2011 at 7:51 pm
It’s not just “OMG THAT IS SO GROSS” it is an offense to an art that really has a lot of respect. No one wants to buy your “moon-time ending I am now a crone” craft project.
July 8, 2011 at 5:36 pm
Hm. I was saving it for an Etsy surprise but….about 2 weeks ago or so, my boyfriend stepped on my foot in a sliding manner and accidentally removed one of my toenails. I have the toenail; I think I’ll carve and whittle something into it, paint it with menstrual blood, and sell it for $1,000 strung on yarn made from my cat’s fur.
July 8, 2011 at 10:12 am
I truly do not think they are making an attemp at Victorian art. I really think THEY truly think they are being original, unique and edgy. Then again, given their obviously deranged state of mind could have been thinking they were giving a “nod” to the victorian predecessor. Whatever. Disgusting no matter WHAT!!!
July 7, 2011 at 7:06 pm
dandruff aka: salt spray. Almost had me there.
July 7, 2011 at 7:06 pm
That is soooooooooooooooo gross!
July 7, 2011 at 7:07 pm
Two hundred fucking dollars for something any one of us can pluck out of our shower drains and sweep off our floors with one hand. This is just one of many, many things in this life that make me want to bang my head against a wall.
July 7, 2011 at 10:52 pm
I can’t believe it took ’til #27 for someone to mention the price. Now that’s obscene.
July 8, 2011 at 5:38 pm
Not only that, but my roommate and I both have long hair and shed fairly frequently. We could LOOM what comes out of our vacuum and shower (my boyfriend is the absolute best and cleans out the hairbrush for me, because I have this THING about touching hair when it isn’t still connected to my body).
July 7, 2011 at 7:07 pm
Now Voodoo Ready!
July 7, 2011 at 7:07 pm
This =/= THAT
July 7, 2011 at 7:09 pm
Good example.
July 7, 2011 at 7:12 pm
Is that really made of hair too?
July 7, 2011 at 7:14 pm
Yes. GO here http://www.victorianhairartists.com/ and see what why the shit pile up there is so offensive to anyone who’s seen or done the real thing.
July 7, 2011 at 7:16 pm
at least according to google -lol- but in reality, hair properly woven would look like any other sort of cord or rope. The Victorian stuff seems to have been very personal, which makes this travesty even worse. I don’t want to hang scraggly pieces of a stranger on my wall.
July 7, 2011 at 7:18 pm
Exactly. Or if you are a maker of it, it shouldn’t look like (as everyone keeps saying) like it came out of your drain with the goo still on it. That thing is a foul aberration and should be aborted before it gets into some poor cat’s stomach.
July 7, 2011 at 7:17 pm
I went and looked up hair-work online, just to get a better reference in my head, and they’re so beautiful. NOTHING like that doily-monstrosity!
July 7, 2011 at 10:32 pm
Nothing like the serial killer’s captive trophy up there.
July 7, 2011 at 8:38 pm
That is unbelievably gorgeous. I had no idea that stuff like this existed.
July 7, 2011 at 10:25 pm
Holy everything that is pretty. And it makes me want to write some sort of elaborate Victorian steampunk (or fantasy) story with a major focus on hair jewelry.
July 8, 2011 at 7:52 am
Do it! I first heard about Victorian hair jewelry when one of the magazines I subscribe to did an article on it years ago (Threads or Piecework, I can’t recall which). I encountered it in real life when I went to the Lace Museum in California, as they have examples there. I’ve been wanting to try it myself for a long time now, but just never got around to it.
July 8, 2011 at 9:01 am
Our local history museum has several exquisite examples; I think they’re lovely, but when I was a docent there someone freaked out at least once a day.
July 8, 2011 at 5:32 am
That is beautiful. And would be a fitting tribute to someone I lost last year…she would have LOVED that (she was kind of a dark person who was into this kind of thing.) I wish I had gotten her hair now.
And, to be honest, it makes this doily even more offensive.
July 8, 2011 at 5:38 pm
That is beautiful and amazing. I would own it in a heartbeat. Then again, I love anything Victorian, so….
July 7, 2011 at 7:07 pm
wretch.
it’s like….
…
no, just wretch.
July 7, 2011 at 7:08 pm
And there goes my dinner.
July 7, 2011 at 7:08 pm
You know, I only know of ONE artist that actually made any money doing shit like this. He had a semen necklace. It’s in a museum. This stuff is just gross. And I kindof want to gag. There should be a separate website where people can sell things made out of this kind of stuff. Eeww.
July 7, 2011 at 8:59 pm
Eewwtsy
July 7, 2011 at 7:09 pm
This would even squick Hannibal Lecter.
July 7, 2011 at 7:09 pm
It matches my gum doilies!
July 7, 2011 at 8:01 pm
Don’t put them near each other. There’s nothing worse than hair in your gum.
July 7, 2011 at 8:26 pm
Peanut butter!
July 7, 2011 at 10:09 pm
Aw, fond memories.
July 7, 2011 at 7:09 pm
When she moves on to abstract painting……. I’m done.
July 7, 2011 at 7:16 pm
It’ll involve tampons.
July 7, 2011 at 7:10 pm
For $200.00 it should at least not look like cat vomit.
July 7, 2011 at 7:11 pm
Jesus H Christ and his happy holy harem.
I think that came out of our shower last week.
July 7, 2011 at 7:11 pm
Fuck it, just post a pic of this on the fridge and watch the pounds melt away. Richard Simmons, eat your heart out.
July 7, 2011 at 7:11 pm
I can’t even think of something clever to say. That is just fucking nasty.
July 7, 2011 at 7:12 pm
holy shit. i just laughbarfed and eyebleached and rofl’ed.
oh my.
oops, i forgot to *roll eyes here*
DID I MENTION I FOUND THIS IN MY DRAIN LAST NIGHT?
ps- do people ever scroll up anymore?
pps- Helen, you’re still my hero.
July 7, 2011 at 7:12 pm
I recommend Biotin for the crafter. Since I’ve been on massive doses of Biotin with Collagen, my hair doesn’t fall out any more. The supplement has, however, strengthened my nails, so I guess she could still craft from the nail clippings. Which is pretty gag-worthy.
July 7, 2011 at 7:12 pm
This reminds me of the episode of Franklin and Bash last night.. There was toenails glued to a piece of construction paper in the form of the word “Proof” gross
July 7, 2011 at 7:12 pm
why is it stretched over a pan, of all things?
July 7, 2011 at 7:44 pm
Because springform pans are whimsicle. You can probably bang the other side like a gong and summon Gandalf or something.
July 7, 2011 at 8:41 pm
Allegedly because the ripples enhance the light against the translucent (read thin & cheap) silk. More likely is that she is not capable of making anything palatable and does not need it.
July 7, 2011 at 10:19 pm
there you go.
July 7, 2011 at 7:13 pm
Just because you think it and just because something can be done does not mean that it should be done.
And just because it is handmade does not mean it should be sold.
Sometimes, it should just be thrown away.
July 7, 2011 at 7:13 pm
I love you Helen. You always make me smile. But I don’t have yarn. Not a stitch in the whole house
July 7, 2011 at 7:15 pm
*mails you some of my extra*
July 7, 2011 at 7:14 pm
$200?? For the contents of your vacuum cleaner bag? Is this person delusional or is there actually a market for this? I’m not even kidding. I work in a hospital and I need to know if I should start bringing biological waste home and turning it into decor.
July 7, 2011 at 8:27 pm
At least I might find a dime in my vacuum cleaner bag.
July 7, 2011 at 7:14 pm
Anybody else have the crazy bald ad on their sidebar? That made me laugh so hard paired next to this.
July 7, 2011 at 7:18 pm
Somebody needs to shop that doily onto that man’s head.
July 7, 2011 at 7:15 pm
Wow. I have trichotillomania and pull out my hair, but I just throw it away. I have been sitting on a gold mine this whole time with my disorder! I shouldn’t try to cure it, I should embrace the money making options!
July 7, 2011 at 7:54 pm
I have trichotillomania too. But I cut off all my hair about 7 years ago, so I don’t have lots of extra lying around.
July 7, 2011 at 7:58 pm
Yeah. I shaved my head for about 6 months, so it’s currently about 3 inches long as I was hoping I’d broken the habit. If only I’d kept it longer to make etsy crafts with each lovingly selected strand. Darn.
July 7, 2011 at 7:15 pm
OMFG!!!! I literally gagged. That is just mother fucking disgusting. I am sitting here coiled in fear that it and the (alleged) crafter even exists, and my husband is behind me cracking up saying shit like, “OMG, THAT IS AWESOME!!!!” He added it to StumbleUpon. LOL!!
Clarification: He’s not stating he wants the product, but expressing how awesome it was for Regretsy to post it in the first place. I do heart April, but damn …. I’m just about to eat dinner for God’s sake! Bad decision on my part to go forward in reading the post after seeing the subject matter.
July 7, 2011 at 7:16 pm
HOLY SHITBALLS!!!
What would posses you to wast SO MUCH time on such a hideous endeavor?!
I can’t even look at the picture. I’m worried I’ll throw up!
July 7, 2011 at 7:23 pm
*waste
July 7, 2011 at 7:17 pm
I should not have looked at this in the throws of indigestion. I really regret that. Not the funny, the gross.
July 7, 2011 at 8:03 pm
Don’t you mean “I really regretsy that?”
July 7, 2011 at 7:18 pm
The hair is a bit gross, but they make fashion out of human hair still so i can understand the idea behind that… add the fingernail clippings and it turns into “Are you kidding me? Please tell me you’re kidding.” .. now add the “Salt spray” aka dandruff and it turns into a prayer for the porcelain gods.
Wtf is wrong with people?
July 7, 2011 at 7:20 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
July 7, 2011 at 8:50 pm
I’m sorry. I was almost too busy casting spells and riding my broomstick to stop and scowl at the fact that you sort of just lumped polytheists in on the same level with Nazis. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go make something out of my black cat’s fur and list some graveyard dirt on Etsy.
July 7, 2011 at 9:38 pm
Well, to be fair, the Nazis did steal of lot of things from many “pagan” and “occult” groups. Mostly because of their policy to take any symbols of power with little regard to where it came from.
And I’m not sure the person meant witches as in “wicca” but more the witchdoctors etc that are still feared in many rural areas, especially in third world countries.
Also, my dark cat seems to only shed her light undercoat. >.< Perfectly useless for making spell doilies.
July 8, 2011 at 3:05 pm
I read the listing and nowhere did it say that the hair and nails are from a murdered Jew.
July 7, 2011 at 7:20 pm
Victorian hair art this sure as heck ain’t. Nor is it this lovely artist’s work: http://melaniebilenker.com/
July 7, 2011 at 7:22 pm
look at the ad that came out when i saw this:
http://i52.tinypic.com/fjdjjk.png
lmfao!!
July 7, 2011 at 7:29 pm
That’s too funny!
July 7, 2011 at 10:34 pm
I got this one. I’m not sure what kind of plant that is, but I’m afraid it would steal a steak knife and chase me around the house:
July 7, 2011 at 7:23 pm
This is disgusting… We could make it a triad of tastelessness if it were an embroidery sampler of Caylee Anthony, sitting on Michael Jackson’s lap, made from human hair and nails.
*throws up in her mouth a little*
July 7, 2011 at 9:20 pm
Oh please, have some respect for the dead and their wishes. Michael wouldn’t want a GIRL on his lap.
July 8, 2011 at 4:19 am
Hey, people are getting away with throwing up in their mouths a little and it’s not getting the Bronc strikeout treatment.
Have we got special throwing up privileges for this one?
July 8, 2011 at 10:42 am
Yes, but only because Bronc literally threw up a bit in his mouth.
July 7, 2011 at 7:25 pm
Okay, usually I think ‘teehee, wierdo’ …… That was simply repugnant. Salt sprayed?? Try nit infested!
July 7, 2011 at 7:26 pm
I’m making a mental note to get my cat an Etsy site for her unique handmade hairball sculptures. Each one is slightly different! I’ll have to help her get her shed claws into them before they dry, though.
July 7, 2011 at 7:26 pm
I imagine her house…she SAVED her nail clippings and ratty hair…puh-yuke! And it must have taken her hours of working on this to complete it. All that time, winding her hair and picking through her nail clippings to find just the right one to place here and there. This is one of the most disgusting things I’ve ever seen.
July 8, 2011 at 9:03 am
That’s going to be a GREAT episode of ‘Hoarders’!
July 7, 2011 at 7:27 pm
$200 for something that looks like a cat ate then puked back up.
Although it would probably look a lot nicer if that happened.
July 7, 2011 at 7:27 pm
I actually threw up.
July 7, 2011 at 7:28 pm
“We Have Yarn Now” should be a sampler. Preferably done with hair. Even better, done with nylon hair from a wig. Much less gag-inducing.
July 7, 2011 at 7:39 pm
Hmm, I do have a few synthetic wigs I’m not currently using…..
July 8, 2011 at 8:00 am
Don’t tempt me. I have a lot of cheap wigs I’m not using at the moment.
July 7, 2011 at 7:29 pm
I like the ad I am getting!
July 7, 2011 at 7:34 pm
I got that, and a little further down….
July 7, 2011 at 8:05 pm
I got those too!
July 7, 2011 at 8:51 pm
Even the ads are saying the same thing we’re saying…
July 7, 2011 at 7:29 pm
This may have already been asked, but will someone please explain to me the practical application for a fucking hair-and-fingernail doily?
July 7, 2011 at 7:41 pm
a fucking hair and fingernail doily might have a practical use… sadly this does not.
July 7, 2011 at 7:53 pm
If you leave it on your table, you can be sure that
1) No one will leave glasses of lemonade to sweat onto the wood table top anymore.
because
2) No one will visit you or drink lemonade at your house any more.
and
3) If your mother in law doesn’t know how you feel about her yet, getting this from you for Christmas would be a great way to say it.
July 7, 2011 at 8:00 pm
Dammit, AntB, dammit all to hell. #3 makes me want to whip out the ol’ PayPal.
July 7, 2011 at 8:13 pm
Oooh,
4) When the door-to-door religion sellers knock, ask them in and be sure to show them ‘your’ craft. Then ask them if their hair color is natural. Interrupt them often to discuss their hair, touching it if you can. Invade their space. Beg them not to go, and invite them into your basement to see your Craft Room. Tell them to go first, and you will be right down. Repeat until no one ever knocks on your door ever again.
July 7, 2011 at 8:52 pm
Now Bajingo has competition for the purchase of this…
July 8, 2011 at 5:34 am
You are a sick, sick human being, AntB. And I adore you. Be my friend and help me rule the world?
July 8, 2011 at 3:38 pm
July 7, 2011 at 10:17 pm
My guess is DNA samples. That might very likely useful from this particular person. I wonder what would pop if you ran it through a database? (I watch way too much true crime tv.)
July 7, 2011 at 7:34 pm
Favorite materials
fabric, thread, hair, fingernails, dust, lint, furniture, salt, shellac, implication, desire
and that’s not the best of it. check her website for the full deal…
July 7, 2011 at 7:36 pm
Looks like Velma was bored waiting for Fred and Daphne to finish up the, ah, ‘case’ again….
Gross. And fucktarded.
July 7, 2011 at 7:36 pm
In defense of the Victorian hair keepsakes, the technique used was actually beautiful – and the reason for their creation had actual meaning.
This piece of… things nightmares are made of… means nothing, other than “look at me, I’m a pretentious hippie with a superiority complex.”
July 7, 2011 at 8:04 pm
See, to me, this says nothing about hippies at all. In fact, all it says to me is “I have too many cats and all I do is pick out my hair and nails and save every little bit. And then I make it into prettys.”
July 7, 2011 at 8:13 pm
My mother once had 11 cats living in her house (btw, don’t feed strays, they’ll just have kittens in your garage), and she never once decided to put aside her yarn and start crocheting with her hair.
Well, not yet. She is a school teacher in Texas, so with the way education funding is going there, she might need to start selling such things at $200 a pop.
July 7, 2011 at 7:36 pm
Etsy should really have a “DNA” category. There has to be criminals planning crimes that would at least shot it…. I would think.
July 7, 2011 at 7:37 pm
I mean shop it… a bit of a Freudian there.
July 7, 2011 at 7:42 pm
DNA as in “Do Not (for the fucking love of God) Access” right?
July 7, 2011 at 8:00 pm
This should be an episode of CSI. They can’t figure out what is evidence and what is horrible craft purchases from Etsy.
July 8, 2011 at 4:25 am
Please can this epiode have The Octopus in it, maybe as a strange imprint on the victim’s skin. CSI are mystified and fail to google steampunk octopus, and all of Regretsy gets to shout at the TV until the hipsterest member of the team remembers she might have seen something like that now where was it…?
July 7, 2011 at 7:38 pm
OH MY GAWD.
I mean, if you’re going to use BODY PARTS in crafting, at least use them ironically, like to make a scale model of Cassandra and the Face of Boe.
July 7, 2011 at 7:43 pm
Cassandra’s too easy. Just get a sunburn, and paint a face on a really good peel. The Face of Boe would be slightly more difficult. ;p
July 7, 2011 at 8:04 pm
I see the face of boe more as a crochet project myself
July 7, 2011 at 7:42 pm
Note to self:
Do not, under any circumstances in the universe, read Regretsy while you are preparing your microwave meal. Wait at LEAST a few digestive hours before opening your eyes to any of that.
Sincerely,
Me
July 7, 2011 at 7:45 pm
I’ve learned to not read Regretsy if I’m preparing to eat in general. The time spent catching up is worth the lack of nausea. ;p
July 7, 2011 at 7:54 pm
Yeah, I need to remember this as well. I was trying to pull though my tummy trouble to make dinner. That’s not happening now.
July 7, 2011 at 7:43 pm
TWO. HUNDRED. DOLLARS?
I wonder how many she has sold?
Ya know, somehow this seems right out of some Dean Koontz novel.
July 7, 2011 at 7:57 pm
No way…my man Koontz has a LOT better taste! Stephen King, maybe…
July 7, 2011 at 8:04 pm
The crazy gross guy in…what was it…One Door Away From Heaven?…with the coffee cans full of toenail clippings and bird skeletons? That was my thought too. Yeuch.
July 7, 2011 at 7:46 pm
If this thing actually sells, I swear to all that is holy I am giving up on humanity. I WILL PAINT MYSELF GREEN AND BECOME A MARTIAN. I’m serious.
July 7, 2011 at 7:47 pm
July 7, 2011 at 7:58 pm
That is so excellent.
*runs off to brush cat*
July 7, 2011 at 10:38 pm
In the grooming shop, dogs and cats would come in so matted that we would shave the hair off in one big pelt. We’d lay it out on the floor to show the owner what kind of inhumane asshole they were for letting it get like that.
July 8, 2011 at 12:36 am
Pet owners seriously need to pay attention to that shit. Excessive matting can be terribly painful, and failing to take care of it, when it becomes extreme, is a cruel form of neglect. I’m baffled by the thumbs-downs the above poster received.
July 8, 2011 at 10:45 am
I try to brush the mats out of my long hair cat’s fur each day. He hates me for it, but then I give him treats and he forgives me.
July 8, 2011 at 5:46 pm
My old cat got to the point where he could no longer clean himself, but he always had HATED having his stomach petted or brushed, so we didn’t find out till there were some serious mats just how bad it had gotten. After that, we started shaving him in the summer and that helped so much for his last 2 summers (up till then he had been fine, but he was 19 when he passed).
July 7, 2011 at 7:47 pm
Look. Lady. Make art. Sure. Hang this… this.. art… up in a gallery next to your hair bridal veil and lint trap objects that have no discernible reason for existing.
But for gods sake I don’t want to stumble on this when looking for handmade doilies on Etsy.
July 7, 2011 at 7:48 pm
Her website also features snowflakes made from fingernail clippings. When I first saw the picture I was thinking, “Wow pretty.” Then realized they were FINGERNAIL CLIPPINGS! ::shudder::
http://aliciarenadette.com
Though I would like to know her secret of cutting them off in one piece. I always clip and get a shard to the eyeball or something.
July 7, 2011 at 8:02 pm
Also, how long does she have to save up her clippings to make all those? That is tenacity.
July 8, 2011 at 1:54 am
Well, maybe she asks her friends to pitch in.
July 7, 2011 at 8:03 pm
Ick. My husband always leaves nail clippings on the coffee table, on the nightstand in the bedroom, on the desk beside his computer, on the floor next to the toilet… ya know, the usual locations. And he always receives The Look and a Tongue Lashing. What an evil and narrow-minded wife I have been, because I am obviously stifling his artistic endeavours.
July 7, 2011 at 8:15 pm
He was saving those! He was going to make a nice Snowflake collection to sell on Etsy in December!
July 7, 2011 at 8:33 pm
I guess you have to use cuticle scissors. I wonder if she’s been on “Hoarders” yet?
July 19, 2011 at 5:43 pm
Yes, they told her “you have to do something about all these jars of fingernail clippings.” So she did. Now she moved to a nicer place, with a view.
July 7, 2011 at 11:56 pm
this woman puts so much work into her… work… i’ll never understand but i’m horribly, beautifully fascinated.
July 7, 2011 at 7:50 pm
Jesus. Well, if the rehashing of “Why I Don’t Buy Food On Etsy” post, and the picking bits of road out of my boyfriend’s arm(bad biking accident) didn’t kill my appetite tonight, this surly fucking did. Ugh.
What the fuck would urge someone to do this? And to not hide it? I can accept that you are fucking crazy/lonely enough to make something like this, but to think this is something you should sell? Wtf. This is something you hide under your mattress, and cuddle it to sleep every night.
July 19, 2011 at 5:45 pm
Laughed hard at that one. Thanks.
Yeah, some of us freaks want to actually tell the world about our little “habits” and try to make money off of them. I guess I’m not that brave.
July 7, 2011 at 7:50 pm
http://aliciarenadette.com/section/166353.html
Her day job. More of the same but much MUCH bigger.
July 7, 2011 at 8:17 pm
Direct quote from her website: “I’m a perfectly ripe fruit filled with a bounty of luscious pulp and sticky seeds. I’m a vessel for thirsty parasites. I’m cave woman who got invited to tea.” She definitely got the thirsty parasites part right….
July 7, 2011 at 9:28 pm
Maybe she was perfectly ripe when she wrote that, but I’m thinking it’s about time for someone to clean the rotten fruit out of the crisper drawer and take some Lysol to the mold that’s growing underneath.
July 8, 2011 at 7:46 am
That bridal veil…DISGUSTING! Why, WHY, would I want someone else’s creepy hair on my head??
July 7, 2011 at 7:51 pm
The perfect thing on which to serve handmade Forest Turtle Rugelach!
July 7, 2011 at 7:51 pm
Hello, Clarice.
July 7, 2011 at 7:52 pm
It takes a special kind of ego to think, and then act upon the thought, “Strangers want to purchase and own my crud-flecked biological leavings. When I take my offal and knot it up, people around the world will be eager to trade their hard earned cash for it.”
Thanks once again, etsy, for showing me how being a pair of human balls can be.
July 7, 2011 at 7:52 pm
It’s mini dreadlocks!
July 7, 2011 at 7:53 pm
Her embroidery is pretty cool though. She should just go with that, at least on Etsy. Leave the vacuum lint art to the hipster art galleries.
July 7, 2011 at 7:56 pm
Yikes just noticed the price tag on her embroidery. Yeah, not worth $60-$100 though. I really don’t understand why people think that, just because they thought of something and took the afternoon to embroider it on some felt, its worth so fucking much!
I’m a crafty person and the stuff I make isn’t half bad, but I would never think, “Wow, it took me 2 hours to finish this, someone should give me $100!” I don’t make the much a hour at my “real job”.
July 7, 2011 at 7:59 pm
I cannot see the prettiness of her embroidery. I cannot see anything. This has made me throw up more of the turtle goatse s’mores all over the doilies. And I didn’t even eat the s’mores…. THAT is the powerful ugliness of this…
Hippies Go Home. As in, 200,000 years B.C. home. This kind of skill maybe would have been of use then and there. TAKE IT FAR FAR AWAY from civilization.
Thank you.
July 7, 2011 at 8:00 pm
True story: in February I did an Etsy search for fingernails, because I’m working on a supervillain costume and I needed something scary for my hands. Well, I found this:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/37269325/human-ivory-cuff-links-paws?ref=sr_gallery_7&ga_search_query=fingernail&ga_noautofacet=1&ga_search_type=handmade&ga_facet=handmade%2Faccessories
“human Ivory”. Seriously, I’m icked out by both terms, and together, that’s just wrong. But that was what led me to Regretsy and all you heartless bitches.
And also in her shop:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/37258546/siamese-twin-bear-made-of-belly-button
July 7, 2011 at 9:14 pm
I was wondering if anyone else found the belly button lint bears. I can’t get over how much freakin lint this store kicks out! “buy NINE get one free”, indeed. (well, they are cute….) http://www.etsy.com/listing/60988209/buy-9-get-one-free-belly-button-lint
Although, it’s about time ivory came from humans and not elephants.
July 7, 2011 at 8:00 pm
My fiancé’s reaction: “It just looks like a diseased pizza.”
July 7, 2011 at 8:02 pm
She just opened her shop today…perhaps this piece of exquisite grotesquery is Regretsy bait to draw attention to her more tasteful and oddball embroidery efforts?
July 7, 2011 at 9:15 pm
wow, that’s an awful lot of time crocheting in a difficult medium just for some attention….I hear ya though.
?!?!
July 7, 2011 at 8:05 pm
well, I was hungry. now I’d just like to stop gagging
July 7, 2011 at 8:34 pm
I think we HAVE found a purpose for this ‘thing’ after all! DIET AIDE!
July 7, 2011 at 8:10 pm
Leaving aside the most urgent question of “Christ on a cracker, what the completely fucking fuck?” for a moment, why the hell do the seed beads need to be red? Is it supposed to evoke, like, menstrual blood? BECAUSE OH SHIT IT DOES.
July 7, 2011 at 8:10 pm
Sometimes, for something to do with my hands while I’m watching TV, I take the hair I brushed from the cats and twist it in to yarn.
IT LOOKS BETTER THAN THIS SHIT.
And she’s not fooling me, that’s not sprayed with salt – that’s dandruff.
July 7, 2011 at 8:15 pm
*twitch* *twitch* *twitch*
please, please, don’t let it touch me!
July 7, 2011 at 8:15 pm
*hork* Throw in some dog hair and it’s the inside of my vacuum.
July 7, 2011 at 8:17 pm
YES!!!! now I’ll have enough DNA to make that clone i’m always talking about.
July 7, 2011 at 8:18 pm
I just adblocked the FUCK out of that. OMG. D:
July 7, 2011 at 8:24 pm
Well, on the plus side these people are making things a lot easier for the voodoo priestesses.
July 7, 2011 at 8:39 pm
And any witch in the mood for a good ol’ hex.
July 7, 2011 at 8:24 pm
Her statement on the ‘artist’ page: ‘keeping the neurotic happily distracted.’ I live less than one hour away from Greenfield, Mass, which is where she is apparently located… I’m too scared to leave the house ever ever EVER again…
July 7, 2011 at 8:36 pm
She lives way too close to me as well. Lock the doors.
July 7, 2011 at 8:25 pm
July 7, 2011 at 8:45 pm
Does EVERYONE in the world need a prescription for Xanax?? Holy Hell!
July 7, 2011 at 9:26 pm
Pretty sure this is just yahoo answers trolling, but it’s still a gem.
July 8, 2011 at 2:18 am
No, this artist needs Thorazine.
July 9, 2011 at 2:00 am
XO
July 7, 2011 at 8:25 pm
Did one of those beads just move?
July 7, 2011 at 10:39 pm
Don’t touch it, it might pop.
July 11, 2011 at 11:04 am
*RALPH*
July 7, 2011 at 8:28 pm
It makes me think of cat hairball spaghetti.
July 7, 2011 at 8:31 pm
Okay, so I just checked this person’s (and I use that term loosely) website. She needs to get laid. Big time.
July 7, 2011 at 8:37 pm
Did you mean LAID or SPAYED?
July 7, 2011 at 9:16 pm
The second one. Definitely the second one.
July 7, 2011 at 9:40 pm
At least the second one before the first one. Do not want reproduction.
July 7, 2011 at 9:03 pm
I think you run into a Catch 22 there.
July 7, 2011 at 8:40 pm
They better not be doing this sort of thing with the 13″ braid I donated to Locks of Love.
July 7, 2011 at 8:40 pm
I would like to sell my hair and fingernail clippings as art supplies! Yay profit!
July 7, 2011 at 8:41 pm
hair is only good for making victory rolls
July 7, 2011 at 8:42 pm
Well, I would have remarked about how the Victorians made hair jewelry and the like. Indeed, I was going to add links to it. However, I daresay they did not craft such things out of hair which fell from their head.
The Victorian hair jewelry were made (mostly, but not always) as death memorials in their oh-so-popular cult of mourning. “Oh look! Gramma died! That’s so sad! Grab a chunk of her hair before the undertaker gets here–now there’s a good dear.”
If we were to see this…thing…as going in that direction, I think we can safely say that we do not want to remember this person. Dear God, even the Victorians would have tried to forgo the dandruff!
(PS: I am generally very liberal when it comes to bodily fluids or parts in artwork, but this takes the cake. Thanks, Ms. Winchell!)
July 8, 2011 at 9:33 am
Obviously the jewellery was a lot nicer and the hair more contained, but I still struggle with the idea that people are just going to fall down dead with lovely clean hair…
July 7, 2011 at 8:42 pm
I was just on her website too. I don’t know what’s wrong with this person. Well I know PART of it: She’s mistaken “ugly” and “unsanitary” for “edgy.”
The bridal veil of hair is particularly nasty.
July 8, 2011 at 4:04 am
My husband has a Ph.D. in psychology. I’m gonna show him her website and ask him what is so utterly busted in her head, cuz something is. She needs some sorta…help? Meds? Ugh. I spent about 1 minute at her website and had to make it stop. I’ll post what he has to say. It’s just beyond.
July 9, 2011 at 3:36 pm
Ok, I asked him. After he almost hurled at the description, he said, to his knowledge, there is no actual disorder for people that use body parts and/or body debris to make crafts. I guess medicine/psychology doesn’t have treatment for “truly weird” yet.
July 7, 2011 at 8:44 pm
Wanna lose 30 lbs in a week? Buy this and tack it on your fridge! WINNING!
July 7, 2011 at 8:45 pm
If this was made of silk thread and rubies and mother of pearl, the result is still that it looks like total ass! And it’s not that big – maybe that would take a few hours to make, right?
HOW DO YOU PRICE THAT AT $200???????
add in how gross it is, maybe she will pay you $200 to take it?
July 7, 2011 at 8:46 pm
Personally, I think she’s missing a specific market. She needs to change it to “My First CSI” home training kit. (tools not included)
July 7, 2011 at 9:19 pm
Some people make some really beautiful things with human hair. This, of course, is not one of them.
July 7, 2011 at 9:20 pm
True story. A couple days ago at work, we had to induce vomiting on a dog that ate something it shouldn’t. When we perform this procedure we have to look through the vomitous for evidence of the offending object(s). We get used to seeing and poking around in animal vomit looking for stuff that shouldn’t be there(either wearing gloves or using a tongue depressor).
Well, this vomit contained a bunch of human hair and I was gagging. The vet. walks up and I say, “you know, looking through vomit doesn’t bother me but the hair does.” and she said the bit about the hair at the exact same time I did.
Anyway, this item gave me the same reaction as the hair in the vomit. But at least the hair in the vomit could be blamed on a dog that doesn’t know any better.
July 7, 2011 at 9:42 pm
This story reminds me that my dog likes to find tufts of fur my cats shed and eat it. I suspect she is just getting the taste and waiting for them to be unsuspecting…
July 7, 2011 at 9:37 pm
I honestly think it is the worst thing I have ever seen on Regretsy!
July 7, 2011 at 10:12 pm
2nd worst for me, the icky toenails the one day made me gag too….feet really gross me out tho
July 7, 2011 at 10:15 pm
Two things :
I don’t think this web of frizzy and clippings is in the same league with a victorian mourning brooch
A hair brooch from the 19th century
Speaking of weird and archaic the second thing is this; there’s a spell in one of my antique occult books ( I collect weird things so sue me, – also antique french/english dictionaries and giraffes) detailing something very nasty you can do to someone once you get ahold of there fingernail clippings and some of their hair. She should be more careful who she sells scraps of her body to.
July 7, 2011 at 10:16 pm
also pretend I had enough coffee to spell all that correctly and/or care
July 8, 2011 at 10:24 am
Thank you! You said what I wanted to say. Except for the giraffe collecting part. Why would anyone want to distribute their body scraps???
July 7, 2011 at 10:22 pm
So super creative sprinkling it with dandruff. It definitely would’ve felt incomplete somehow without it.
July 9, 2011 at 1:55 am
What makes me want to vomit a bit… I think that’s actually bits of her scalp… you know the bit that each hair follicle comes with every once in a while when you look at your hair brush? >_>
Ugh… I’ve gotta quit the internet for a while now…
July 7, 2011 at 10:29 pm
Its shit like this that makes real crafters want to hang their head in shame. Why do we have to be classified in the same universe with these people. That hairball is disgusting.
*I copyright this opinion, this opinion is my own. Don’t like it deal with it*
July 7, 2011 at 10:29 pm
At least she didn’t add the contents of her ped egg…
July 8, 2011 at 6:55 am
Are you sure?
July 7, 2011 at 10:41 pm
This is quite possibly the grossest thing I’ve ever seen on Regretsy. Hippies, I PROMISE Gaia is cool with you throwing out your dead cells. I tapped into her aura with my tarot cards or something.
July 7, 2011 at 10:42 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
July 7, 2011 at 11:04 pm
WTF Regretsy why did you have to post this today, do you not realize I just drank a full glass of chocolate milk and ate a bunch of tuna fish and now I’m gonna go throw up after seeing this!
jk!
Actually I might just take a picture of it and sell my vomit online
July 7, 2011 at 11:09 pm
Missing one more descriptive sentence ala mtraub:
“Sprayed liberally with my dog’s anti-tick, flea and worm spray so you’ll enjoy hanging it over your kitchen sink window like a steampunk windchime.”
July 7, 2011 at 11:21 pm
I literally started gagging. I need to GTFO of here before I guh-vomit.
July 7, 2011 at 11:27 pm
There must be a DSM-IV Code for this kind of disorder.
July 8, 2011 at 3:54 am
If not, there needs to be one! No kidding.
July 8, 2011 at 9:51 am
Seeing as I am from Wisconsin, this “work” has promted me to think etsy needs an “Ed Gein” tag or category. Sorry about the spelling folks, but I don’t have frequent occasion to spell dearl ol’ Ed’s last name… Mebe until now…
July 7, 2011 at 11:59 pm
Wow, this is disgusting. If you must make art involving fingernails, can’t you just do what I do and put art ON your nails while they are still attached to your body? And if you must make money off of it, can’t you put said art on other people’s nails? My nail artist does amazingly detailed work that does not cause the gag reflex to kick in! (I have fireworks on them right now, but she’s actually done full land- and seascapes for me.)
July 8, 2011 at 12:21 am
I am surprised that she didn’t add a feather to it and pawn it off as a ‘whimsicle dream catcher’
July 8, 2011 at 12:44 am
This is not helping my morning sickness.
July 8, 2011 at 1:52 am
Whoever made this thing is a bad person and that’s all there is to it.
July 8, 2011 at 2:32 am
Can’t people cast spells and own you once they have your nails and hair?
July 8, 2011 at 6:31 am
Who would want to own someone who makes this kind of thing?
July 8, 2011 at 3:48 am
For some reason, this really hits the “gag up my coffee” reflex this morning. I just don’t get what would compel someone to do this in the first place…but to, then, post it for sale? And yea…as others have pointed out, the Victorian folks did this in a time of limited permanent memory resources…like photos and such. And every example I’ve seen of their handiwork was a portrait of modest tastefulness compared to this autopsy. Man, I can’t even talk about this anymore. This is gonna help me stay on my diet all day long. BLECH.
July 8, 2011 at 5:00 am
the human hair part is just a little strange, the fingernails push this thing over the edge. In the sense that “grandson killed this pretty young thing for me and now i’ll make pretty little doilies out of her pretty little body parts” edge.
July 8, 2011 at 5:34 am
Classic example of somebody who heard something and then didn’t bother to learn anything about it.
Anyone here actually seen Victorian hair jewelry? Yeah. Nothing at all like this.
July 8, 2011 at 9:44 am
Yup- I’ve seen a lot of it. Not for everyone. Kinda like the Seinfield ick factor. People can kiss someone’s head, but once the hair’s off thier head (and in your soup)it kicks the gag factor into the stratosphere. That said, I have seen some very pretty examples, and I think my mom had something in a frame from her great grandma. Yet, it’s still kind of a fine line to me!! I think once nail clippings get involved it’s all over!!!!!!!!!!!
July 8, 2011 at 6:21 am
At least, nobody can accuse this of being “not remotely handmade”. If only because of the fingernails.
July 8, 2011 at 6:39 am
What, no booger pearls?
July 8, 2011 at 7:13 am
There’s not even any discernible pattern! It looks like a horrible hair and nails pizza… D:
July 8, 2011 at 9:46 am
No pizza for me tonight, Descriptor!! (Thanks)Maybe no pizza for a while. My hips do thank you though.
July 8, 2011 at 7:13 am
It’s like a fancy bezoar.
July 8, 2011 at 7:37 am
That is so disgusting I just might puke! Who does that?! Fabric, thread and yarn have been around since biblical times, come on!
July 8, 2011 at 7:40 am
This may very well be my favourite Regretsy post of the year, simply for this:
“Oh, I know what you’re going to say. ‘People often made crafts with their hair in Victorian times!’
Wow, that’s really interesting. Oh look at the time! It’s 2011.”
I intend to use this the next time my homophobic relatives tell me that “my kind” used to be stoned or burnt at the stake. Or when anyone tries to tell me the Beatles are the greatest band of all time.
July 8, 2011 at 8:19 am
*were* the greatest band of all time. You’re quite right to get annoyed when they don’t get their tenses right. (Besides, the Beach Boys gave them quite the run for the money).
July 8, 2011 at 2:01 pm
No.
July 8, 2011 at 8:08 am
From a distance it looks like a web made by a fine-motor-skilled-challenged spider with a bunch of bug larvae caught in it.
(first time commenter, hi all.)
July 8, 2011 at 8:27 am
This is like an episode right out of Criminal Minds.
Seriously Regretsy, could you get some new warning labels? Like Not Safe When Eating, Not Safe When Drinking, Not Safe For Human Eyes, or just plain old Things Guaranteed To Make You Barf.
July 8, 2011 at 8:44 am
Imagine the world of possibilities if they master this technique. Custom made mirkins from head hair and custom hair pieces from pubes…. OK that whole thought prices had me throwing up into my mouth a little. Never mind…..
July 8, 2011 at 9:10 am
I love the word “Merkin”. I really, really love it. Merkin, merkin, merkin!! I need to weave that into conversation waaaaay more often. Speaking of weaving…I’m just off to weave some pube and phlegm wall hangings… now wherever did I put that freeze dried cat puke glitter…?
July 8, 2011 at 9:29 am
Sorry, before I got off (oh STOP) on the Merkin subject… I just have to add, I am going directly to purchase some Bon Ami, Comet Cleanser and S.O.S. pads to scrub out my eye balls. (Followed by a bleach and acid chaser of course) I suppose this person will defend her “art” as fiercely as the “cum art” artist did. “Oh, you people with weak stomaches make me sick!! Real art is meant to elicit a response!! Make you think! Make you think of your dead grandma’s doilies covered in nail clippings!!!! This is the true purpose of ART!!! You need a barf bag?! Mission acccomplished! Chokin’ yer chicken? Even better! You now have experienced TRUE ART!!!” WORD. I don’t care, I will never buy that shit, just as I will never literally buy shit, or photos of a guy projectile pooping paint out of his blow hole or some chick vomiting rainbows. Never. I have a degree in art, and I kinda DO kinda-sorta get that whole argument for disgusting things, bizarre performance art, blah blah blah…
July 8, 2011 at 9:30 am
I literally just gagged.
July 8, 2011 at 9:34 am
Ran out of room… ANY WAY, you can tell me I’m not a real artist if anything DOESN’T GO, and I guess it can be a very fine line, and it’s all y’alls (now I sound like doctor Phil) perogotive when it comes to art. Age old discussion that isn’t going to be won here. I know there were even some things posted here that were pretty cool pieces of art, but WERE done with fingernails or something… but it STILL kind of grossed me out despite the quality of artistry. So to that I say to each his own. Just keep the human hair doilies the hell away from me!!!!!!!!!!!!!
July 8, 2011 at 9:36 am
I’m still gagging, bunnybun. hErk… hErk… hErk…
July 8, 2011 at 9:37 am
At least the seller is cool about it…
“regretsy fans: thanks for the free publicity!
(it’s totally not dandruff, but that probably doesn’t make it any more palletable!))”
Back the item at hand… EW.
July 8, 2011 at 9:53 am
Fuck. Really. I have a nasty hangover today and this just made me sick.
July 8, 2011 at 10:18 am
People do get run over by carriages in this day and age. My husband is a tour guide in Charleston, SC, and he was knocked off the carriage when the animals got spooked, then dragged down the street by the driving lines that were wrapped in his hand. When he finally let go he spun around under the carriage and the back wheel ran over his chest. He lived and has no serious long-term injuries. Just thought I would share that so you can mark it off your analogies to use.
July 8, 2011 at 10:33 am
Well that fucks up everything.
July 8, 2011 at 10:24 am
Ok, Helen, I beg of you. I know you are making a new site. Couldn’t you honestly put making a site that doesn’t allow barf like this on your list of To Do’s?
Things For Helen to Do:
1. Make other funny sites
2. Make more flag cakes
3. Make gagless free site for real artists to sell their
work.
4. Create world peace.
Done and done!!!
July 9, 2011 at 8:53 am
5. End world hunger. Possibly, with flag cakes.
July 8, 2011 at 11:08 am
All I need to know is, is there an extra charge for head lice? ‘Cause if there is, that’s a deal breaker for me. I’m willing to pay for dry cleaning. I suppose it’s that or hand washing with Woolite.
But for $200 I want the head lice thrown in, too. I’ve got two cats and I figure head lice would be no more upkeep than cats. At least they don’t need a litter box.
July 8, 2011 at 11:47 am
“Put me off my feed.” There’s never been a more apt expression. With this post and the one regarding menstrual blood, I think I’ll be saving some money on groceries.
July 8, 2011 at 12:06 pm
Given the Victorian precedence for hair art, I guess I understand the hair part. I just don’t get why anyone would find artistic inspiration in fingernail clippings. That’s just revolting.
July 8, 2011 at 1:57 pm
I reeeeally want to open an Etsy shop now. If people actually sell off THIS kind of shit, imagine what I, a sane human being that doesn’t paint with her uterus and knit with my leg hair, could be raking in!
July 8, 2011 at 2:09 pm
She’d be able to sell it if she admitted that she pulled it out of the shower drain and then it became haunted after fairies did the braiding. All she did after that was add beads so it would count as embellished and waaaaaaa laaaaaaaaa a vomit inducing etsy listing.
July 8, 2011 at 4:43 pm
I have made a few of those ‘Original’ Treasuries..just for giggles.
http://www.etsy.com/treasury/NTU5OTA2MnwzOTY5OTc3MTE/whooooowho-gives-a-hoot?index=0
http://www.etsy.com/treasury/NTU5OTA2MnwzMDk3NTYyNTQ/whistle-blower?index=1
http://www.etsy.com/treasury/NTU5OTA2MnwzMDE3OTE4OTE/anchors-awayawayaway?index=4
July 8, 2011 at 6:07 pm
this is genuinely the worst thing i have ever seen on regretsy.
July 8, 2011 at 6:11 pm
and i’m totally not the first person to say that… oh well. perhaps that means this is OFFICIALLY the WORST REGRETSY ITEM EVER!
July 8, 2011 at 6:08 pm
When I think of doilies I usually think of tea and cake … maybe it’s all the True Blood I’ve been watching, but this “doily” looks like it should be part of some freaky voodoo ritual, or perhaps what Buffalo Bill would make in his spare time while letting ladies chill out down in the well in his house. BLARGH.
Anyway, I know a few others have already posted photos of authentic Victorian hair jewelry, but I couldn’t help adding another as a palate cleanser:
August 2, 2011 at 9:22 pm
this is at least tasteful. that other train wreck.. well. ugh.
July 8, 2011 at 6:29 pm
I think I saw that thing when I ripped up some carpet today.
This pretty much seals it. I’m laying off the high-pile shit and getting a bed frame that doesn’t let shit get under there and make it impossible to vacuum.
July 8, 2011 at 7:26 pm
I was at Ripley’s Believe It or Not this week and they had a very large example of Vicorian hair jewelry there.
July 9, 2011 at 8:59 am
This is like looking for a clean fork in my ass. It has that many layers of WRONG.
July 10, 2011 at 3:21 am
There is a show on one of the smart channels called “Oddities.” For those that haven’t seen it, it’s about a store in New York called “Obscura,” they carry all kinds of odd things, such as taxidermy and odd antique medical items, as well as stuff like 2 headed pig fetus’s in a jar and the list continues which is why the show is called oddities. There was this woman that came in there and was talking about how she was looking for something to use in order to help further create her art where she would like to use body parts. The crazy thing is when you look at her you wouldn’t think she was into all of that and then she hops into talking about how she at one point was hugely infatuated with using feces and it was an obession for her art. She ended up buying old rotted teeth that were are one point used in a dental school to teach students how to fill teeth. I wouldn’t do that stuff as an artist myself, but each to their own I guess….
July 12, 2011 at 1:39 pm
I have found another 2 examples of things made out of hair. I think theses ones aren’t that bad.
glasses made out of hair: http://technabob.com/blog/2011/07/01/eyeglasses-made-from-hair/
jewellery made out of hair: http://www.artsthread.com/p/kerryhowley
July 13, 2011 at 4:47 am
Oddly it looks like a really skinny funnel cake with coconut shreds. I am PMS’ing and EVERYTHING looks edible to me lately.
July 25, 2011 at 8:42 pm
To the maker of this “human hair doily:” What the goddamn fuck is wrong with you.
August 2, 2011 at 9:21 pm
sorry I don’t want your dandruff hairpie with toenails.. throw it away.
August 10, 2011 at 2:09 pm
Well then, I’ve just learned something about myself I’m not sure I needed to know: Nail clippings make me want to vomit.
I might not be hardcore enough for Regretsy…
August 17, 2011 at 12:53 pm
Ewww. That is disgusting…. adding fingernails is just adding insult to injury. It’s bad enough without the fingernails.
How would they like it if I made crafts from the hair of the people I work on at the funeral home. I could throw in some other bodily fluids and some sluffed off skin for value. Eghads! Ewwwww.
Dirty filthy hippies.
December 8, 2011 at 10:49 am
I actually have my great grandmother’s earrings which has clippings of her hair in them. It was normal then… that doesn’t make it normal now. creepy.
Maybe she wants to pay us to take it?
January 28, 2012 at 11:42 am
Red beads? Oh come on, that’s lazy… go all the way and replace them with scabs.