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He should have at least given her a Princess Leia wig so we could be slightly distracted from those…breast…
She’s got a good personality. She’d probably be into it.
the farce is strong with that one.
I think I love you.
She’d likely require a Jedi Light-saber strap on, though.
WHOEVER bought them would need a Jedi Light Saber. Someone should definitely suggest it to the artist as an upsell.
It’s been done before:
I now have my Thinking Fodder for my experience trying to master my force…
Works for me.
And I’d be into her…
She gives me a Lesboner. I <3 that sexy, sexy woman.
Is there an UN-modified version of that you can point me to? *meow*
Sure, it's obviously not her body, but a bitch can dream!
Well, Ellen is into yoga. Close enough, isn’t it?
And here I was thinking those were kind of cute. AND THEN I CLICKED.
Why did I click?
WHY DID I CLICK ON THAT!?
WHY DO YOU HATE US SO MUCH!?
Oh, wait, Bronc posted this. I should have expected it.
At first sight I though those were sparkly snot lumps.
WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT PICTURE OF ELLEN EXIST FOR?!
It doesn’t, it is called Photoshop.
Yes. Ellen’s boobs are much smaller than mine. (and those aren’t mine either because I don’t have a belly button piercing, but they could be)
I’m looking right at it; ergo, it exists. I don’t care how it was created, such a vision has met my eyes and it cannot be denied.
I asked the disabled guy: “You wanna see a topless photo of Ellen?”
He said, “Sure!” and walked into the room. Then he said, “On Regretsy!? NO, STOP!” as I clicked on it and he said, “Aw… that’s not right.”
His instincts are sound.
Who is this disabled guy you speak of?
Oh Patty, I always look forward to the horrible things you do to Disabled Guy.
It gives me the snarky giggles.
I would be afraid to wear those, George Lucas might have the copyrights to those bad boys.
The sad truth is that my husband would *LOVE* to see me in these. *shakes head and wanders away*
The sad thing is that you would clearly not oblige.
Wrong, the correct answer should have been Samuel L Jackson
To all “Who Wore It Better” queries. He can pull off any look.
Or Gary Busey. As a matter of fact, I think he’s been retired from all “who wore it better” posts, because he always wins!
Having not seen the picture (thanks, previous commenters!), I kind of want these.
click it. i dare you.
I double dog dare you.
I dare you to buy them and share the pics in the satisfied customers section.
Come on, you know you want to see Ellen’s ton-tons.
Having seen the picture, I STILL want these.
Words there are not.
Instead of tassels, can they come with tiny green light sabers?
You’re thinking of the matching men’s undies
Lightsaber Underwear!?!?! Buy those I would. Get on it Regretsians, although do my ego a favor and make the Lightsaber at least medium-sized or large instead of tiny…
I’m wearing a Cross Your Hoth bra right now – it lifts and separates!
How about a red light saber for the menfolk? Better yet, flesh-tone.
The only problem with the “Cross Your Hoth” bra is it leaves your nipples ready to cut glass…
You know small lightsabers will ALWAYS make you look bigger.
I’m thinking John Ritter in “Skin Deep”.
I’m trying NOT to. Thanks a LOT.
They can; not sure if it is an improvement?
I would learn to individually swing my boobs in opposite directions while playing a light saber sound JUST TO HAVE PASTIES LIKE THAT!
I’m not even a Star Wars fan, but IDK, they’re kinda awesome.
Poor Ellen. Thanks for being kind to Carrie Fisher, though.
I’m so used to the Postcards/Wishful Drinking/Jenny Craig version of Carrie Fisher I actually had to think about this one. And then I still clicked the link to make sure the one on the left wasnt her.
Saw her on Craig Ferguson – she looks fantastic!
George is fair game since he actually is a boob worthy of Yoda pasties.
But nobody messes with Princess Leia.
Oh my fuck! That picture broke my iPad! it would let me close it! I had to stare @ Ellen’s saggy tithes…oh Jees
Yeah! Ellen’s contributions of 1/10 of her income to a religious organization are really sagging! I didn’t see those in the picture, though.
Her contributions tend to be donations of nerdy burlesque wear, apparently.
Imagine how nerdy the other 90% must be. Pratically incapacitatingly nerdy, I hope.
“Incapacitatingly Nerdy” is another great band name, except for being difficult for drunk people to say.
@kimoutre That adds to the fun. It also provides a sort of drunk-o-meter, the worse the person messes up the word, the drunker they are.
“When 900 years you reach, look as good, you will not.”
To the yard her milkshake brings all the boys.
Better than yours, they are.
She’d teach you, but you’d have to live in a swamp for a while.
Holy shit, I want these so much ಠ_ಠ
Naturally, with that username!
Can I get a matching EWOK Muff cover please!
Just get a googly eyes and nose set at Hobby Lobby.
Oh, and stop shaving and/or waxing.
You’re on your own for the noises they make.
I was thinking more along the lines of a Chewbacca merkin.
On Ellen, it looks like Yoda is praying. Or rather, praying Yoda is.
Really, it kind of hurts my heart (buried under my own set of Snoopy-nose hooters) to hear such scathing remarks about Ellen’s boobs. Geez….where’s the talk about how boobs are like snowflakes, all different, all perfect in their own way? Why does Regretsy love the conglomerate of contrasting cooters, but a healthy set of taffy ta-tas are shunned?
Um…special they may be, but I’m kinda doubting they’re really Ellen’s, and I’m not too sure about the healthy either.
well what do you think happens to giant boobies when you take the bra off? gravity happens to the best of us…
And especially the most endowed of us! I think people have gotten too used to fake anti-gravity (at least in their youth) boobies.
@ Kimoutre Not everyone gets a happy perky youth if they jump straight in at D at 14 like my boobs decided to. They’ve never had an anti-gravity moment. Sad times.
Everyone “”WANTS”" big tits, but they never think the consequences. Back pain, sagging, boob pain from the sag, bras that jab, poke, dig into, etc., shoulder pain from bras having to hold up the twins, crappy looking granny bras and nothing sexy or even CUTE for the younger set with the lifelong curse of big effing tits…..
I definitely don’t want my big tits, with all the consequences (completely true, btw) just mentioned. Anyone here can have them.
@Lilz32, I meant fake, implanted boobs, which are perky, at least in the young.
I started like you did, but trust me, the 14-year-old ones still seem pretty damn anti-grav compared to those at 42.
Shit. Don’t tell me that. I’m over halfway there. If they get any worse I think I may just curl in a hole and die. These damn things are unbearable enough. I’d hack these suckers off in a heartbeat if I had the $40k it requires. Unfortunately, no insurance co. for me to sucker into it. My older sister is getting hers done this fall because she has insurance. I hate her so much.
@Lilz32, I hear you sisteer! Iwas a 32B in the third grade and called “Stuffy” the rest of elementary school. Now I’m an ill-fitting, needs to be custom-fitted Friday, 40GG. The only time I was ever perky was early pregnancy and when I was engorged post-partum. I could lose 2 lbs each side and still fill out a D cup. If that is really Ellen, I applaud her! Real boobs sag, point down, and have blue veins and stretchmarks. They are seldom magazine sexy!
I love boobs!
Which shocks me that I am with my gf because she’s barely two sunny side up eggs worth… Hell, she’s as curvy as a board.
@starts 15k – I agree that boob are rarely magazine sexy. However, boobs can be too small to sag, point or strech and they are still real.
I’m 30 & a H-cup – mine look surprisingly similar to the shopped Ellen ones when I’m braless. It just comes with the territory. *flips gravity the bird*
No, they are most definitely not hers. The only thing “Ellen” in that picture is the face.
The commentary was really just as to the boobs. Whomever they belong to. Or to whom they belong. Or belong, they to…whom.
really – the way that mine just happened to grow, regardless of the amount of support that tried to train them otherwise – “not too sure about the healthy either” – some of us were born that way – no breast feeding, no running around without a bra –
I know this puts me on the Whine and Cheese plate of butthurt – but get over it – droopy udder boobs happen – as much as I would love to have my nips up top and perky, and not be able to hold the whole pencil case, it’s just what life dealt me
and, yeah – no way that those are Ellen’s
Preach it, Saggy Sister. I have a low bustline, and more-than-C-cups. Fortunately, the husband has a thing for pancake boobs.
And, I did breastfeed — but mine were staring down before the babies were made. (Actually, when my milk came in, they looked all perky…)
Amen, hallelujah! My Trip-D’s were fed upon, which really does increase softness and hence subject-to-gravitiness, but that’s the reason they exist. Not that everyone has to employ them that way, but it is how we wound up with these funpuppies in the first place!
Thank you, mine could hold a pencil since they reached a D-cup…when I was 14 years old.
I think all the catty comments are due to straight women not seeing any boobs outside of movies/TV, and these days they’re all implants.
or you get my set, one side is a DD cup, the other is a D cup. I had some many problems finding bras that I just got the tankinis with the bra built in. Boobies suck. I hate mine, but of course my husband loves them. Dear god DONT let my husband see the Yoda pasties, or any other set in that shop!
Wait – I just realized that my comment could be construed as butthurt. I should have added some winky emoticons.
I don’t think anyone is really saying they are terrible boobs. I just personally don’t want to see Ellen’s. (whether they are photoshopped or not!) You have to admit the picture is a little unnerving.
Only the George Lucas part was unnerving. Goatse has fake-Ellen beat in the unnnerviness.
I have to go with OnlyALass here.. Only GL was unnerving…
Would be SO much better on Mike….. QUICK SOMEONE PS THAT SHIT! MAKE IT ALL BETTER!
I just agree with those who does not think that Ellen has so much tucked away. I always thought of her as one of use “boobage” challenged person.
Sadly, those are not Ellen’s real boobs (she’s a perky B-cup). Well, not as I’ve mentally pictured them anyway. ‘Cause I have. I’m just saying.
as have I! mmmm
Watch ‘If These Walls Could Talk 2′. Ellen and Sharon Stone share a sex scene that gives you a lovely peek at her b(maybe c)cups
Hey at least she named them “Galaxy Master” (which sounds more like a bad SF porn title) instead of Master Yoda.
copyright infringement not that way there is
“YoTa’s”…. missed opportunity, Etsy seller.
This made me spit out my coffee because I literally just found out that this play is performing in the NYC Fringe Festival this August:
“Epic Win Burlesque presents The Star Debate: Trek vs. Wars”
Two costumed nerds passionately argue the superiority of their favorite science fiction franchises, with sexy “evidence” provided by superstars of the NYC burlesque scene.
These would be perfect “costumes” for that show!
You’re makin’ that shit up. Seriously?
There’s gonna be nerd spooge everywhere.
Proof! I’m so going.
Is the thumbnail for that Data kissing C-3PO?
There’s burlesque for anime as well. I’ve been to one before; it’s pretty amazing. I was with someone who had a press badge, so we got pretty awesome seats. It’s hilarious, sexy, and fun! I’d love to be able to go to that Trek vs Wars one D:
Am I the only person that thinks getting a boner in public is not my definition of fun?
Not a problem when one has internal genitalia!
I showed this to the boyfriend and was told, “Well if Yoda can lift an x-wing out of a swamp, he can lift those saggy boobs.”
Your boyfriend is awesome.
Dammit, I was just looking through the comments to see if someone had gotten to that first. That was my first thought: Lift, Yoda. Lift!
Davnhey beat me to it. I was gonna say that I know burlesque dancers, and I’m pretty sure the ones I know have done a Star Wars themed show as some point.
I love this shop. She has pac-man pasties, too!
Whoa. Now there’s a power pellet!
I was really hoping to see a picture of Yoda wearing the Yoda pasties.
And people were complaining about (faux) Ellen?!?
Yeah, I don’t need to see Yoda’s yoobs, thank you.
Yoobs is my new favorite word.
Yoobs makes me think of the Swedish Chef
Which in turn makes me want to see him vs Yoda in a Pasty Paste off!
It would be awesome if it were this Yoda…
Nerd Girl Pinups did a Star Wars burlesque show for May the Fourth. (Un)surprisingly, no Yoda acts. I was the Death Star.
My Star Wars obsessed friend would get these for his wife in a heartbeat lol. Hell, I would wear them.
I was engaged to a nerd….was crazy about him, but not so much the Star Wars stuff. I’d have worn them for him on our honeymoon in a nanosecond, though! lol
What Yoda gets up to on weekends, his own business it is.
OMG, WANT. WANT SO HARD.
I know it’s kind of not the point, but I need to stop reading Regretsy until I have some form of income. I don’t care how ridiculous these are; THEY MUST BE MINE.
Additionally, I would kill a million Koopas for a pair of these:
They make you bigger. (That means two things!)
“Judge me by size, do you?”
Strip or strip not, there is no try.
The photoshopped picture is cheating. The actual item is completely awesome and you all know it.
This comment doesn’t make any sense.
I agree. It’s like ewoks.
Or Episodes I-III
I totally mouseflubbed a thumbs down, so have some thumbs up:
Your face doesn’t make any sense.
All those years of crying because I had no ta tas to speak of have finally paid off….still perky after all these years. That’s the good news for all you titless bitches, life is good*!
Howsoever, pasties? Er, no..peeling off double sided tape does not sound like a real turn ons…
(*we will not talk about the belly – that’s what spandex is for)
One time in high school I went to a Halloween party as a zombie crossdresser. I duct taped two off-kilter oranges to my chest and had a fabulous pink shirt n’ skirt I ripped up.
But that night, boy did my chest get a waxin’. I don’t even have real tits, man@
I was so excited, I typed man@ instead of man! These memories are still painful, obviously.
As a titless bitch, thank you for prediciting a happy future.
Gee NanaB, if you want to try them I have some skin adhesive that comes off much easier than tape…
hmmmm…makes me wonder if you’ve had pasties on yourself…
My reaction was “Oh, Yoda!….Oooohhh…” **Clicks on picture and screams**
I only want them if they will help me use the force through my boobies.
Boobies have their own special force.
Lucas explained it as Tittychlorians.
Reminds me of that South Park episode where Bebe gets boobs.
Sometimes love means never having to say you’re saggy.
I just have to say, for the record, Ellen actually has really nice boobs.
Screencaps from “If These Walls Could Talk 2″:
Thank you. from the bottom of my heart.
I love you. Love you so much. Now I have a REAL Lesboner!
A new hope for your ta-ta’s? The only new hope for these saggy puppies is surgical, my friend.
I meant MY saggy puppies . . .
If Ellen had cans like that, her dunking tank episodes would get 1000 times more viewers.
A burlesque dancer friend does a number dressed as Princess Leia involving a collapsible light saber and some very interesting pantomime. She would LOVE these things.
Am I the only one who doesn’t see Yoda? All i can see is the little green toys from Toy Story. OOhhhh Ahhhh the Claw.
Oh, PLEASE don’t take these to Touching-Timmy-land! We’ve had quite enough of those lately.
Omg, those Ellen boobies are scary! If those were her real ones, I shudder to think what they’d look like when she does her silly dances on her show….yikes!
I’m pretty sure that what bras are for.
And i give up for the day.
Years ago, a stripper lived in the upstairs apartment. She made her own pasties, and they were very interesting. Even more interesting was the clothesline she had on the front porch up there– yup, drying pasties.
How do you get neighbors like that?
Now if only it came with matching thong, I’d have my Dragon*Con costume shopping done in one click.
I must admit, I quite enjoyed that “New Hope” line.
I know what I want for Christmas!
*Starts Regretsy Christmas list*
Is the Ellen body double the same as the one that wore those leopard print pasties?
Do Your Boobs Hang Low?
This chick makes Hello Kitty pasties too… Is it bad that I’m considering buying them?
OH NOW I get it! They’re YODA Pasties… ahh Galaxy Master=Yoda… hence the George Lucas….
CAN’T UNSEE!!!! BLARG!!
wait…what’s Ellen got to do with it?
I like these. I like them so much, I’m going to feature them on my page.
Now, let’s see some pasties that unfurl light sabers when your nips get hard! Visualize it! Visualize it!
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