Everything about this sounds totally safe and reasonable. You just drive over to a stranger’s house, and buy bags of untested liquid from her freezer that may or may not be Elmer’s Glue and water. Of course it may be breast milk, though someone churning out close to a gallon a day should be advertising in the livestock section.

We’re having some technical difficulties today, so we’ve decided to double up on our painkillers and watch Hoarders. See you soon!

- Submitted by Bree

I finally found the dumbest fucking thing on Etsy.

Nothing ensures a good night’s sleep like a stained muslin feed sack. Pair that up with a cot from a typhoid ward and an itchy wool blanket, and it’s like the bridal suite at the Jalalabad Hilton. Nighty Night!