Has it really been two years? It feels like only 24 months.

Even though Michael is gone, the steady stream of Michael Jackson tribute crafts still flows from the Etsy colon, like a bad case of tainted clams. It just goes to show you that no matter how sad your life may have been, there will always be someone with marginal talent to violate your copyright.

YES! We come not to mourn Michael, but to celebrate him! Let us honor his tragic life with equally tragic crafts. Because it is only by spending $100 for a spoonful of dirt that we can really start the healing.

Today, we dedicate all our posts to the man who died within hours of Farrah Fawcett, thereby totally fucking up her shot for top billing. I don’t know about you, but I’m starting with the lines on the mirror.

So take another hit of Propofol, and walk with me through the best of the worst Michael Jackson crafts on Etsy.

The Pulp Parlour in Connecticut makes piñatas.

Awesome, ass kicking piñatas.

Like the Bat Attack:

The Little Ghoul:

The Flying Monkey

And just about anything else you can think of.

All piñatas are custom made, and are usually delivered within 4 to 6 weeks. And if you can’t bear to break them, they’ll construct them to last.

See more amazing piñatas at The Pulp Parlour

I haven’t see this much hair between a woman’s legs since the 70′s.