From the Mailbag: Satisfied Customers Edition
From: Ash
Subject: Sharie’s Craft World
To: helen@regretsy.com
Of all the sellers you’ve featured, no one’s work has captivated me the way that Sharie’s Craft World has. You’ve showed off her goods her more than once, but she had me at Nadine. So a few months, ago when my wife asked me what I’d like for our anniversary, I didn’t hesitate before answering “A 3-D clay portrait of the two of us sipping from penis straws.”
Cut to today, and a big beautiful package on the front porch. I can’t really describe the jittery joy I felt while opening it, knowing my own Nadineization was within. Sharie sent me an update at one point, telling me not to worry because “it looks better in person.” Truer words were never spoken.
A million thanks for finding and featuring Sharie. I would recommend her to anyone as she was so pleasant to work with and was so conscientious about communication every step of the way.
Thanks,
Ash
From: Kathlee
Subject: fun_tastic
To: helen@regretsy.com
My boyfriend and I wanted to share the fun_tastic gift.
And now, the elusive poem (which the sender told me she and her sister “cried from laughing over”):
1. The EXIT clearly marks the point of escape and meets OSHA standards.
2. The zipper wil help secure the opening so no unexpected exposure happens. But just in case the zipper causes trauma to the precious jewel, there is a First Aide Kit located in the front left pocket. This will also save the embarrassment of asking for help and having to explain what happened.
3. A whistle is located in the front right pocket as an emergency alarm in case you need some help.
4. The two pockets on the back are for Town or Country folks. A high grade of decorated tissue is on the right and the traditional corn cob on the left. Note: the cob now comes individually wrapped. Be sure to remove the wrapper before use.
5. A cork is added to the back just in case something gets started that needs to be stopped.
6. A note of Concern… Always wash the cork after use just in case you get so excited you blow the cork instead of the whistle.
Oh, and yes, I spent $14 on this and it was totally worth it.
Kathlee
From: þóra
Subject: (LOOK AT WHAT YOU HAVE DONE!)
To: helen@regretsy.com
I placed the goatse mug alchemy request that you posted last year. I got it made by a Something Awful member named Empty Sandwich who made a (pardon the pun) Buttload of them.
Excellent for pudding, stew, chocolate milk, and tapioca.
FANTASTIC UPDATE: You can buy a Goaste mug of your very own! The artist has posted ordering information for us here.
YOU KNOW I BOUGHT ONE
June 30, 2011 at 2:33 pm
the red glazed bottom of the goatse mug makes it nearly priceless, as far as I’m concerned.
June 30, 2011 at 3:26 pm
Indeed! And did you notice they even gave the hands a wedding ring, like the real goatse has! Exquisite attention to detail.
I’d like to add that this would be a lovely serving dish for strawberry jam.
June 30, 2011 at 8:20 pm
I am so officially grossed out and/or titillated by your suggestion, that I am now having a very difficult debate with myself about paying my telephone bill or purchasing one of these delights just to use for that very reason.
But you’re right. These goatse mugs are exquisite.
June 30, 2011 at 4:15 pm
Holy shitsprinkler, I need a goatse mug, ASAP! Why is this selfish “þóra” person hoarding them, and how can I bribe him/her to give or sell me one?!!
(And, in case þóra is reading this, when I wrote “selfish”, I really meant “generous and wonderful”.)
June 30, 2011 at 4:31 pm
It didn’t take me long to find the artist and seller of the Goatse mug, with a quick google search. I already emailed him/her… fingers crossed.
(Also: goatse. In addition to that: goatse. Goatse goatse goatse. Your mom reminds me goatse. Did I write the word ‘goatse’ enough times?)
June 30, 2011 at 4:48 pm
“Mike” has competition!! The gauntlet has been laid down. Now it’s time for a sword fight!
Lesbians with penis straws Hee hee FTW!!
June 30, 2011 at 11:43 pm
Two exciting things:
1) I was able to snag one of the goatse mugs from the last batch. Payment made, order placed. I can’t wait!
2) I ran across this totally awesome, which made me laugh so hard I was gasping for air:
You’re welcome!
August 1, 2011 at 11:20 am
haha – þóra here.
(stupid registration won’t let me use the þ letter)
Glad this has taken off – the guy is a real professional, and churned out a TON last summer when it hit the Something Awful forums – his kid was NEWBORN at the time. THAT is dedication.
Also – the famous anus makes me laugh my ass off, and I’ll be that little old lady who has Goatse stuff all over, instead of cat or owl figurines.
Good times
June 30, 2011 at 7:12 pm
That’s pretty much the big reason I want one.
June 30, 2011 at 2:33 pm
Oh yeah! This post makes me so happy. Thanks April!
June 30, 2011 at 2:33 pm
These happy customers made my other wise shitty, I might be laid off today, day!
June 30, 2011 at 2:51 pm
A goatse mug would make a great “goodbye” gift to your (possible) former boss.
June 30, 2011 at 2:54 pm
Eh, that would require me to give a shit. This Corp bullshit has worn me down to an apathetic zombie.
June 30, 2011 at 3:39 pm
Be careful, apathy is a gateway drug-it can lead to crystal ‘
meh‘.June 30, 2011 at 3:57 pm
Fingers, toes, and anything else that will cross are crossed for you, CCL, that you keep your job — or, better yet, find a better one so you can really tell them to fuck off!
July 1, 2011 at 11:27 am
Hence why I’m commenting on this site in the middle of my work morning…
June 30, 2011 at 3:11 pm
F that S!
No one should part with that mug…where the hell can I get one??
June 30, 2011 at 3:26 pm
Fuck yeah! I want one, too!
June 30, 2011 at 2:34 pm
Are goatse mugs appropriate for mother-in-laws?
June 30, 2011 at 2:36 pm
Yes…I dare you to give one to your MIL! I freaking dare you!
June 30, 2011 at 9:26 pm
Is that where MILF comes from?!
June 30, 2011 at 2:36 pm
more than anyone else in the whole world.
June 30, 2011 at 2:37 pm
Depends on if she is an asshole or not….
See what I did there? Goatse, Asshole….
Is this thing on?
June 30, 2011 at 3:33 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
June 30, 2011 at 3:53 pm
its woman hitler, or hitler woman, not mother hitler…
June 30, 2011 at 4:14 pm
You’re totally right. Dammit. Thanks for the humbling pwn.
June 30, 2011 at 10:59 pm
Ms. Katy should buy one for her Granny, heh heh heh…
June 30, 2011 at 2:35 pm
Where can i buy the goatse mug? I really want the goatse mug!
June 30, 2011 at 2:36 pm
The question is “Who doesn’t want a goatse mug?”
June 30, 2011 at 2:41 pm
They’re made by one of the goons at SomethingAwful.com
http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3314585
June 30, 2011 at 2:55 pm
My daughter hangs out on the SA forums.
I wonder why she never told me about these.
June 30, 2011 at 5:42 pm
Since you’re clearly assuming she’d have no problem discussing art based on a picture of a man with a stretched-out rectum with her own mother, I have no idea.
June 30, 2011 at 3:25 pm
I’m am want one too.
June 30, 2011 at 2:35 pm
Those mugs are fantastic! But if I were to buy one, my 2 yr old (who is in his oh-so-charming-never-ending-question-phase) would ask me what it is…and what the hell would I tell him?!?
June 30, 2011 at 2:39 pm
it’s a mug with hands
June 30, 2011 at 2:43 pm
why?
June 30, 2011 at 2:56 pm
Because mommy sometimes needs a hand to brighten her day.
June 30, 2011 at 2:58 pm
Or, because the hands are holding my cup open.
June 30, 2011 at 3:18 pm
But why?
June 30, 2011 at 3:39 pm
Crazy.Cat.Lady: I love the idea of telling the kid that the hands are holding the mug open, & the kid innocently believing that for years. I imagine the kid growing up, keeping the mug years after mom’s death as a treasured heirloom. then one day, misty-eyed with nostalgia, they show the mug to a friend, telling them what it means, & the friend tells them what the mug is really supposed to look like. Imagining their reaction to this makes me happy.
June 30, 2011 at 11:32 pm
BECAUSE I SAID SO
June 30, 2011 at 2:44 pm
offer him som binaca.
June 30, 2011 at 2:44 pm
*some
June 30, 2011 at 2:35 pm
I may be 32, but sometimes Regretsy makes me feel all OMG CUTE BOYS IN UNDERPANTS! So thanks for that.
June 30, 2011 at 3:55 pm
Nice legs on Kathlee’s boyfriend, ja?
June 30, 2011 at 4:26 pm
If a guy can make those things look even near tolerable, he’s go to be high on the 1-10 scale. He is also an incredible good sport, PLUS we see his head. Hear that Towel Mike? You aren’t the only funny, hot guy on Regretsy. Better step up the action or you’ll lose all us jealous, loser bitches.
June 30, 2011 at 4:32 pm
I don’t know… I kind of like the illusion that the headless-Mike creates. Makes it easier to lust for some reason when it’s sort of anonymous. We might need more Mike pics to test that theory…
June 30, 2011 at 8:40 pm
Both my tumbs up on that one.
July 1, 2011 at 11:30 am
Great, putting us moderately-attractive-somewhat-amusing guys even further behind.
July 1, 2011 at 9:26 pm
Only moderately attractive, only somewhat amusing, and not crafty. Do you at least own a towel? And if so, do you know where it is?
July 2, 2011 at 7:53 am
And are you willing to use it?
June 30, 2011 at 2:35 pm
It is wonderful to see how much joy you have spread across this vast globe.
Thank you Helen.
June 30, 2011 at 3:41 pm
Yes. Helen. Thank you for making us laugh about love. Again.
June 30, 2011 at 2:36 pm
I’m so jealous. Of all of them.
June 30, 2011 at 2:36 pm
I’ll take two of the guy in the sexy undees
June 30, 2011 at 2:40 pm
Will you share? I’d like at least two!
June 30, 2011 at 4:32 pm
Wait, there are four of him? Is he a factory clone?
*cough* Where can I get one?
July 1, 2011 at 12:50 am
Ooh! Are they taking orders? I would like at least five!
June 30, 2011 at 2:36 pm
TAKE THE CORK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH. THEY HAVE BEEN UPCYCLED!! Oh, its the whistle. Whew. I
June 30, 2011 at 2:37 pm
I love those clay portraits so damn much.
June 30, 2011 at 2:38 pm
I wonder if the goatse mug is excellent for tomato soup….
June 30, 2011 at 3:20 pm
…or hot cocoa
June 30, 2011 at 3:30 pm
Ever had seaweed soup? I love it, but it’e essentially black slime. Might look nice in there.
June 30, 2011 at 5:23 pm
I see it more as something to keep oil in by the stove, with a ladle.
June 30, 2011 at 10:22 pm
Cream of Mushroom, dammit!
June 30, 2011 at 11:34 pm
Cocoa puffs.
July 1, 2011 at 12:52 am
or Cocoa Pebbles…
July 1, 2011 at 3:43 pm
skittles…
June 30, 2011 at 2:39 pm
Please, please, please let the goatse mugs be for sale SOMEWHERE!
Also, do you think all this goatse talk is pushing us up onto the 3rd or 2nd page of the goatse search pages?
cough*goatse*cough
June 30, 2011 at 2:41 pm
I don’t know, let’s goatse!
God all my lame jokes are cracking me up today.
June 30, 2011 at 2:44 pm
Hey, if you can’t crack yourself up, who can you crack up?
Goatse, just in case.
June 30, 2011 at 2:44 pm
I replied to another comment already, but here’s the link again. It’s for sale by a member of Something Awful: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3314585
June 30, 2011 at 3:01 pm
Link doesn’t work for non-members
Is there a link that leads to a chance of actually purchasing a mug?
June 30, 2011 at 3:37 pm
see comment #22
June 30, 2011 at 6:10 pm
The guy who makes them is aware you want them and is whipping up a page to help you purchase them. He has also been making Goatse shot glasses
June 30, 2011 at 2:40 pm
I need that Goatse mug for my thick black Turkish coffee in the morning.
and Shari is just plain awesome. I wish I had a photo awesome enough for her to capture for posterity.
June 30, 2011 at 2:43 pm
And Shari is extra awesome for finding chocolate (?) penis straws somewhere. I have a feeling they would pair well with the goatse mug. Ooh! Gift set!
June 30, 2011 at 9:16 pm
I think your avatar pic is pretty good — you just need a mustache.
June 30, 2011 at 2:40 pm
These are AMAZING! I am so glad we get to see these satisfied customers, especially the ‘Nadineization!’
June 30, 2011 at 2:40 pm
so am I the only one wondering what a banjango portrait would turn out like?
June 30, 2011 at 2:50 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
June 30, 2011 at 2:54 pm
Before or after the surgery? If after surgery, she could just make a single mold and pop out a milllion of ‘em, each looking exactly alike.
July 1, 2011 at 9:32 pm
If you go for the pre-surgery option you can get it with its own cover (to hide the inside bits when family is over, for example). Or maybe, in goatse-esque mug form, with a closable lid.
June 30, 2011 at 2:40 pm
This is one of the best posts ever…. And the guy who’s modeling the underpants deserves a medal.
June 30, 2011 at 2:42 pm
Those goatse mugs are pretty much the best damn thing EVER!
June 30, 2011 at 2:43 pm
I have a picture where I’m wearing a Bettie Page wig, bra, and corset and posing with Darth Vader. I think that should be immortalized in clay by Sharie.
June 30, 2011 at 2:45 pm
Seconded
June 30, 2011 at 3:09 pm
I’d be a bit scared to see the boobs in 3D!
June 30, 2011 at 3:49 pm
Oh, please do it! Who doesn’t love boobs in 3D? This pictue, rendered in clay, would be the most awesome thing ever!
June 30, 2011 at 4:33 pm
Do it. DO IT!!!!!
June 30, 2011 at 4:33 pm
Strongly agree. I’m a straight woman and I still have trouble picturing anything more awesome than the juxtaposition of boobs and Vader.
June 30, 2011 at 5:50 pm
OMIGOSH yes Id love to see this in clay!
June 30, 2011 at 8:08 pm
Christ on catnip, I love scrolling. Ooh, Darth…boobs. Antigravity measures initiated, Cap’n.
June 30, 2011 at 8:30 pm
That is the perfect picture to be immortalized! Of course, she might have to charge you extra for the boob clay!
June 30, 2011 at 10:14 pm
My son got drool all over my keyboard. He’s 30. Is that OK? o_o
June 30, 2011 at 3:00 pm
All those in favor say Aye! And by Aye, I mean thumb up her comment till we break the site.
June 30, 2011 at 3:11 pm
I might have to consider it.
June 30, 2011 at 5:40 pm
I’d goatse it.
June 30, 2011 at 4:21 pm
If you get this immortalized in clay, I sure hope you intend to share it. thanks for sharing the picture.
June 30, 2011 at 2:44 pm
You have made the otherwise boring end to my workday astoundingly memorable!! April, I salute you! I now know why I love you.
June 30, 2011 at 2:58 pm
I’ve always known why I love her. And you have too. Admit it.
June 30, 2011 at 2:45 pm
Looks like this is where you get the mugs:
http://nawcom.com/goatse_mug.phuck
June 30, 2011 at 3:27 pm
thanks!
June 30, 2011 at 2:46 pm
I goatse’d The Ginger with the table o’ buttmugs. He may never trust me enough to open another link I send. It was so worth it.
June 30, 2011 at 2:54 pm
THAT IS NOT A POEM. THAT IS AN ITEMIZED LIST.
June 30, 2011 at 3:00 pm
Yeah, the seller Totally Lied to us. I wanted a poem that sounded like Sandburg, or at least Walt Whitman. (I’m a Regretsian. I’m spoiled.)
June 30, 2011 at 3:01 pm
It’s a series of Haiku.
June 30, 2011 at 3:03 pm
Or limericks?
OK fine it’s a freaking list.
June 30, 2011 at 3:03 pm
Also, nothing was really ‘cry from laughing’ funny.
June 30, 2011 at 3:59 pm
Nope, most of the poems made here were a thousand times better.
June 30, 2011 at 4:07 pm
maybe the cried because it was so damned bad?
June 30, 2011 at 11:42 pm
white tight underpants
sewn-on fuckery
your ass is fully prepared
June 30, 2011 at 2:56 pm
Someday, I’ll get my kids’ portrait done up in 3D.
It’s a small dream, but it is my dream.
June 30, 2011 at 3:43 pm
Oh! You just gave me an idea! My mother has been HARASSING me for MONTHS about the fact the she wants “a nice formal portrait of all of the kids together” – she will not let up about it.
I could SO teach her a lesson right now…….
June 30, 2011 at 3:51 pm
DO IT!
June 30, 2011 at 4:26 pm
I actually think I will, hubby loves the idea.
She never specified who’s idea of a “nice formal portrait” we were talking about.
July 1, 2011 at 6:28 am
oh fairy, this must be done now! Extra points for presenting it on your parents anniversary with a goatse mug for Dad.
June 30, 2011 at 2:58 pm
All three of these are amazingly awesome. I too need a goatse mug.
June 30, 2011 at 2:58 pm
Almost as good as Vicodin on barnwood.
June 30, 2011 at 9:19 pm
Or barnwood on Vicodin.
June 30, 2011 at 3:06 pm
What an awesome post! I need those goatse mugs, one of which I should DEFINATELY give to my mother in law. Those clay portraits are amazing, I wish I owned my own house so I could hang shit like that up
Thumbs up to the handsome male model in those undies! Good grief, well done to the buyer! Her poem/List/Haiku sucks though. It’s so bad I almost smiled
June 30, 2011 at 3:06 pm
Can’t we get Sharie to do a goatse portrait?
June 30, 2011 at 3:13 pm
Does anyone else want to see Mike wearing the whistle underpants?
June 30, 2011 at 3:53 pm
I think we’d all like to see Mike modeling some underwear…or not modeling some underwear, if you know what I mean…
June 30, 2011 at 3:21 pm
Love it! Love it! Love it!! I can’t wait to get my 3D portrait!! Got about 8 weeks left until it’s hanging on my wall. I’ll be sure to post pics for April!
June 30, 2011 at 3:26 pm
In an ugly world, you create some moments of awesome.
(Oh, and today I came across this quote by M.Kundera, “kitsch is the absolute denial of shit”.)
June 30, 2011 at 3:29 pm
I am in no way going to explain to my husband what this is/means.
June 30, 2011 at 11:28 pm
I just did to my boyfriend. I only wish I could’ve recorded the reaction I got from doing so. Thanks Regretsy!
June 30, 2011 at 3:30 pm
Nadineization looks Etsy for “Nazi Nation”. You know, where they are dying of communism.
June 30, 2011 at 3:39 pm
I’m voting Mike/Kathlee’s Boyfriend in 2012.
June 30, 2011 at 3:50 pm
I have acquired a couple of awesome pieces of fuckery myself. I’m currently anxiously awaiting my “fucking bag of fucking fucks” cross-stitch. But I have in my possession this amazing thing:
Here’s a link to the shop of the amazing person who makes these: http://www.etsy.com/shop/moolric
Thank me later when you get your very own elephant.
June 30, 2011 at 4:43 pm
You! You were the one! Darn you and your fucking fucks… they were to be mine, mine!
June 30, 2011 at 4:44 pm
She takes custom orders…
June 30, 2011 at 5:19 pm
This is what I got…http://www.etsy.com/transaction/51515085
GO AHEAD, ENVY ME! You know you want to!
June 30, 2011 at 5:56 pm
Ok. I’m envying you.
June 30, 2011 at 7:14 pm
Good – I envy you too!
June 30, 2011 at 7:18 pm
Me too.
July 1, 2011 at 2:07 pm
While I can appreciate other’s fuckery, I like to make fuckery of my own. Not only does it make me giggle, it seems to give my husband ideas.
If this doesn’t post the link is http://www.flickr.com/photos/reigninthechaos/5891578465/.
July 1, 2011 at 2:10 pm
June 30, 2011 at 4:02 pm
I am still at a loss for the purpose of the corn cob… I have a feeling I’m going to regret asking.
June 30, 2011 at 4:12 pm
It’s for wiping your butt.
June 30, 2011 at 9:23 pm
My dad swears that out on the farm, in the outhouse, they used to use them. In fact, they used red cobs first, then a white one to make sure they got everything. If not, back to the red cobs, and so on. This is absolutely true, according to my dad. So maybe….
June 30, 2011 at 11:08 pm
Maybe I’m just too damn classy to understand, but WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK???
July 1, 2011 at 12:05 am
Yeah, I feel like it would be counter productive… Isn’t the goal to ‘remove’ the corn?
(Also, yay for out of context comment of the day!)
June 30, 2011 at 4:10 pm
Boyfriend in underpants is way sexy! And I agree, that is not a poem. Now somebody needs to write one. go..
June 30, 2011 at 4:11 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
June 30, 2011 at 4:39 pm
Somehow April read your mind… before you even knew you asked – poems-inspired-by-underpants were in the original post – http://www.regretsy.com/2011/06/14/rhyme-nor-reason/ And I agree, they are better than the real thing.
June 30, 2011 at 4:18 pm
I spent some time on Google looking for goatse mugs.
Apparently the ones pictured are made by one of two brothers at Patton-Pottery.com. Umm, he apparently made these mugs back in summer of 2010. I just sent him an email requesting one.
I’m treating myself because it’s my birthday.
June 30, 2011 at 4:32 pm
I have to reply to myself because it is patton-pottery.com
I am not computer literate enuff (or I am too lazy) to do it as a link.
By the way if you count comments on forums listed on the first page of Google, then Regretsy made it to page 1.
Somewhere, I cannot remember where. I think in the forum where is cost $$$ to join in. the something awful forum? Where one obtains the goatse mugs.
All y’all cpmputer hackers and experts can probably find it better than I.
Congrats Helen Killer, as far as I am concerned Regretsy is on page 1 of Google.
As a matter of fact, congrats to all Regretsians…after months of only reading, y’all finally sucked me into posting. (I do hope you are sorry now…I could go on and on and on, but I will show mercy)
June 30, 2011 at 4:52 pm
So do you think we could let Kathlee’s boyfriend have a page in the calendar (as long as he wear those underpants)? Mike might want to have a month off.
June 30, 2011 at 4:56 pm
My stepson, who just got his palindromic name tattooed on his butt cheeks (with the “o” where his asshole is placed) is having a birthday in 2 weeks.
I wonder if he’ll “get” the mug when he gets the mug that I’m planning on getting for him.
June 30, 2011 at 10:29 pm
You are the best stepmom in the history of stepmoms.
June 30, 2011 at 5:38 pm
Both of these things made me so happy. Thank you.
June 30, 2011 at 5:53 pm
I absolutely adore this particular Sharie’s craft world portrait. The hands in particular made me smile. I love this post, sexy boy, funny portrait and the Goatse mugs are divine.
June 30, 2011 at 8:34 pm
The hands were extra, and when I saw them, I was so glad I splurged.
June 30, 2011 at 9:09 pm
So worth it, they are my favorite. Plus she added nail polish.
June 30, 2011 at 9:26 pm
And a ring!
June 30, 2011 at 6:25 pm
Someone should really invest in a clay portrait of Mike.
June 30, 2011 at 6:40 pm
So, I’m the guy who made the goatse mugs. . . .
Somebody pointed out that I’ve finally made it onto Regretsy, and I’ve whipped up a quick ordering page on my normally-non-anus-related-pottery page:
http://patton-pottery.com/goatsemugs.html
(Some of you have found the nawcom mirror of the SA post — that post had the original preorder prices. They’ve gone up since then, but not much.)
(Also, there are shot glasses now.)
I’ve got something like a dozen two-handled mugs on hand (and one shot glass). I’ll be making another batch soon. . . .
Since Regretsy existed, my goal has been to make it onto Regretsy. I’m ecstatic.
June 30, 2011 at 7:30 pm
you know, I find the idea of people trying to get on regresty both wildly hilarious and deeply disturbing. So, congratulations?
June 30, 2011 at 8:19 pm
It was a fevered dream, and one that has come true.
June 30, 2011 at 11:46 pm
Congratulations on achieving your dream.
I ordered 1 of each (a shot glass & a mug).
June 30, 2011 at 11:15 pm
It makes sense to want to be featured because you made something awesomely fucktastic that people want! It only sucks to get featured if you are a re-seller or take yourself so seriously that no normal human being could ever stand to be around you.
June 30, 2011 at 9:00 pm
Thank you for the fuckery. You deserve your feature.
Now I must lust after your mug and pray I can come up with the money to obtain such treasured goods soon!
June 30, 2011 at 10:32 pm
I love you. I’d have your babies, but…you know.
I WILL have one of those mugs, someday. Somehow. Even if I have to lie to my aged mother about what they are so she’ll get me one for Christmas.
June 30, 2011 at 11:15 pm
You are AMAZING.
July 1, 2011 at 6:47 am
I totally want this guy to have my babies but since he’s a guy and so am I and I assume we both are straight, it may take a while to work out the details. In the meantime, I think we should deal a case-lot discount on the goatse shot glasses with “Regretsy” pressed into the clay before firing. Each month, draw a name for post of the month and award a glass in awestruck wonderment at the posters’ fat, jealous loser brilliant-ness. Who’s with me on this one?
July 2, 2011 at 8:01 am
Good heavens. Thanks, everybody. I get the best compliments from these things.
I sold out of the current batch more or less immediately, but I’m making more. They should be ready in about 2 weeks. Preorders are encouraged — I can invoice you when the next batch is ready.
Thanks for the various comments and offers for childbearing. I don’t currently need any children borne (and then born), but should the need arise, I’ll post again.
June 30, 2011 at 7:30 pm
The only way this post could be better would be if underpants guy was drinking out of the goatse mug and had a milk mustache.
June 30, 2011 at 8:07 pm
This could happen. AND I could have Shari make it into a 3D portrait. It’ll be like the Captain Planet of Regretsy.
June 30, 2011 at 11:44 pm
C’mon photoshop people. You can make this happen!
June 30, 2011 at 9:34 pm
ASH – your Megan Fox Thumbs are quite a turn on!!!!!
June 30, 2011 at 9:34 pm
No – Wait – I’m Drunk
June 30, 2011 at 9:46 pm
I wish my husband was still alive so I could buy him a goatse mug. Hopefully there are goatse mugs in heaven.
June 30, 2011 at 10:48 pm
I don’t know about goatse mugs in heaven, but this is what is in goatse mugs on earth:
June 30, 2011 at 10:17 pm
I want a GOATSE coffee mug so bad, I posted the link to my Facebook, where my daughter will see it, and, hopefully, take the hint.
And, because I made this for yesterday’s post, and I’m proud of it:
June 30, 2011 at 10:36 pm
Holy assholes, Batman!
July 1, 2011 at 7:20 am
Remember that really cool Art Teacher in High School?
He’s going to track you down and kill you now.
July 1, 2011 at 9:38 am
Wow, Kathlee’s bf is fucking hot. Even in those crazy shorts.
July 4, 2011 at 5:53 am
I know! I couldn’t get past that. I’m gonna sleep good now. Oh wait, it’s 6am. I may as well just stay up and enjoy it longer.
July 1, 2011 at 2:16 pm
My boyfriend would be horrified by the Goatse mug… So I think I’ll have to acquire one for him. HAHAH!
August 1, 2011 at 11:31 am
I have to say, I’m freaking thrilled that the goatse mugs are making it big on Regretsy – it’s exactly this kind of whimsicle fuckery that gets me up in the morning.
Then I pour myself a hot cup of coffee, and sip it from the gently steaming anus.
The best part of waking up? Goatse IS your cup.
August 1, 2011 at 2:30 pm
http://www.imgjoe.com/?v=ifyoulikeitt.png
This is staged – I really LOVE this mug. (It makes me giggle)
also – for those interested in whimsicle fuckery, this QR code has been my profile pic for a while. Link NSFW, but quite topical.
http://www.imgjoe.com/?v=badplaces.jpg