196

Miss You Muth

Has it really been two years? It feels like only 24 months.

Even though Michael is gone, the steady stream of Michael Jackson tribute crafts still flows from the Etsy colon, like a bad case of tainted clams. It just goes to show you that no matter how sad your life may have been, there will always be someone with marginal talent to violate your copyright.

YES! We come not to mourn Michael, but to celebrate him! Let us honor his tragic life with equally tragic crafts. Because it is only by spending $100 for a spoonful of dirt that we can really start the healing.

Today, we dedicate all our posts to the man who died within hours of Farrah Fawcett, thereby totally fucking up her shot for top billing. I don’t know about you, but I’m starting with the lines on the mirror.

So take another hit of Propofol, and walk with me through the best of the worst Michael Jackson crafts on Etsy.

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196 comments on Miss You Muth

  1. KitCameo
    June 24, 2011 at 1:02 pm

    I love that this is posted under “Dead Things”.

    Thumb up Thumb down +115

    • mizufusion
      June 24, 2011 at 1:11 pm

      Well, there’s no “Undead Things” category.

      Thumb up Thumb down +36

      • ursusknittus
        June 24, 2011 at 1:13 pm

        this really is proof that vampires are real… well… this and Yoko Ono… after all, don’t they live off the dead?

        Thumb up Thumb down +16

        • Ihatefacebook
          June 24, 2011 at 2:14 pm

          Aaarrg! I’m confused now, does this make these Etsy sellers vampires or zombies for living off the dead?

          Thumb up Thumb down +8

        • pearlheartgtr
          June 24, 2011 at 2:26 pm

          LaToya’s doing a pretty good job of it.

          Thumb up Thumb down +15

    • aliceblue
      June 24, 2011 at 1:22 pm

      Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

      Thumb up Thumb down -5

    • ifeedbighorns
      June 27, 2011 at 9:57 am

      Oy. Helen. Propofal.

      Thumb up Thumb down 0

      • ifeedbighorns
        June 27, 2011 at 2:01 pm

        Oy. Me. Propofol.

        I administer that shit on a daily basis – I should have spelled it correctly the first time.

        Thumb up Thumb down 0

  2. CeeMonkeyDoo
    June 24, 2011 at 1:02 pm

    I was devastated when Farah died and MJ stole her compassionate mission to put a spotlight on colon cancer awareness.

    =(

    Thumb up Thumb down +65

    • ClamShellPurse
      June 24, 2011 at 1:14 pm

      Well, at least MJ put the spotlight on the growing health risk of calling your doctor to put you to sleep with elephant tranquilizers every night.

      Thumb up Thumb down +194

      • Dinosaurland
        June 24, 2011 at 2:47 pm

        Okay, you literally just made me choke.

        Thumb up Thumb down +13

    • Shmoops
      June 24, 2011 at 1:49 pm

      I did a Farrah search on Etsy and found this monstrosity

      Thumb up Thumb down +12

      • desertsongdog
        June 24, 2011 at 1:57 pm

        At least she has not been forgotten. And who knew she had more teeth than an actual human or Osmond?

        Thumb up Thumb down +30

        • tiny giraffe
          June 24, 2011 at 2:53 pm

          Looks like the artist might have modeled the teeth herself by looking in a mirror. WTF is going on in the artist photo?

          Thumb up Thumb down +10

        • rawrf
          June 24, 2011 at 2:55 pm

          The photo she copied doesn’t show that many teeth, even though Farrah is grinning like a Cheshire Cat. Technically, though, the drawing shows 26 out of a possible 32 teeth, so it might be realistic, if Farrah were a skeleton with lips and a nose.

          Thumb up Thumb down +14

        • SpyGlassez
          June 24, 2011 at 6:15 pm

          @Tiny Giraffe – Maybe the artist is trying to seduce a handsome dentist?

          Thumb up Thumb down +2

        • Pixeedude
          June 25, 2011 at 12:23 am

          The artist says she’s a fish factory worker. Maybe she used a shark’s head as a model stand-in?

          Thumb up Thumb down +5

      • stephsparkle
        June 24, 2011 at 2:13 pm

        I saw that a my head snapped as my eyes tried to run away. Thanks for bringing the pain.

        Thumb up Thumb down 0

      • kimoutre
        June 24, 2011 at 2:26 pm

        I love that they decided to cut the bikini top off at tiny triangles.

        Thumb up Thumb down +1

      • lostiniowa
        June 24, 2011 at 4:53 pm

        I thought her was pretty spot on.

        Thumb up Thumb down +4

      • friendlyfeathers
        June 24, 2011 at 5:32 pm

        “Could you imagine, in a cocktail dress?”

        Thumb up Thumb down +1

      • abbynormal
        June 25, 2011 at 9:21 am

        i have a sleep study tonight. you just guaranteed nothing will come of it.

        Thumb up Thumb down +3

    • Mapleleaves
      June 24, 2011 at 2:31 pm

      If MJ hadn’t died the same day, no amount of Ryan O’Neal sobbing would have prevented the anal cancer jokes.

      Thumb up Thumb down +5

  3. Patty got abducted by a Steampunk Alien
    June 24, 2011 at 1:03 pm

    To honor this anniversary, I’m going to freebase all of my pain medications.

    Thumb up Thumb down +80

    • stephsparkle
      June 24, 2011 at 2:17 pm


      Thumb up Thumb down +42

      • pearlheartgtr
        June 24, 2011 at 5:15 pm

        I wonder how many will be trying to lick the residue from the letters.

        Thumb up Thumb down +5

  4. Crazy.Cat.Lady
    June 24, 2011 at 1:04 pm

    At least the craftard has him lying down in the horse drawn hearse necklace

    Thumb up Thumb down +71

    • Queenofsnark
      June 24, 2011 at 1:15 pm

      I wondered why the hell it was like that. Thank you for clearing that up, I think.

      Thumb up Thumb down +25

      • FlouncestheDrivingCat
        June 24, 2011 at 1:39 pm

        It’s more comfortable to grope children lying down.

        Thumb up Thumb down +9

        • kimoutre
          June 24, 2011 at 2:27 pm

          That way you’re the same height.

          Thumb up Thumb down +7

        • Stretch65
          June 24, 2011 at 3:25 pm

          Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

          Thumb up Thumb down -3

    • aliceblue
      June 24, 2011 at 1:31 pm

      I wish that they had let her ride with him, ALL the way. One less craftard on Etsy, and more room for cool (or maybe ghoul) piñata makers.

      Thumb up Thumb down +4

      • kimoutre
        June 24, 2011 at 2:48 pm

        This actually is quite an impressive picture. It’s not easy to have *everything* wrong in a photo, non-ironically.

        Thumb up Thumb down +13

    • rawrf
      June 24, 2011 at 2:57 pm

      I still want to know why he’s lying face down. That’s not normal hearse orientation.

      Thumb up Thumb down +2

  5. lesmbenton
    June 24, 2011 at 1:04 pm

    Thanks a shit ton! Now I’ve got Janet Jackson’s Miss You Much stuck in my head.

    And you can’t have that song stuck in your head and NOT do random jazz hands and head pops.

    Thumb up Thumb down +19

    • Bajingo Bajongo
      June 24, 2011 at 1:06 pm

      I keep popping my feet up to my tippie-tippie toes and touching my head. ‘Cause I’m bad, you know.

      Thumb up Thumb down +18

      • aliceblue
        June 24, 2011 at 1:21 pm

        Which head? If I recall correctly, he did a lot of crotch cuddling.

        Thumb up Thumb down +8

        • Bajingo Bajongo
          June 24, 2011 at 2:57 pm

          a good point. I only own one head, though, so it would be the one on top of my neck.

          Thumb up Thumb down +10

    • TooManyCookbooks
      June 24, 2011 at 1:08 pm

      I got ‘Miss Me Blind’ by Culture Club, for some reason.

      Thumb up Thumb down +8

      • Knitty Knaughty
        June 24, 2011 at 1:45 pm

        omg, this is is slightly odd, since for my 11th birthday I bought both Thriller and Colour by Numbers…

        I’m not proud

        Thumb up Thumb down +19

        • pearlheartgtr
          June 24, 2011 at 2:27 pm

          You have shamed yourself.

          Thumb up Thumb down +8

        • kimoutre
          June 24, 2011 at 2:28 pm

          Those were heady times.

          Thumb up Thumb down +9

        • Knitty Knaughty
          June 24, 2011 at 4:58 pm

          Frankly tho, I am more ashamed of the MJ purchase than Boi George, I can still remember my grandpa saying how nice that young man sounded, I suspect he expected some hard core punk or something.

          Thumb up Thumb down +7

        • SpyGlassez
          June 24, 2011 at 6:18 pm

          It was the ’80s. I had a friend with NKOTB sheets. We were all crazy then. No shame.

          Thumb up Thumb down +9

          • docleather
            October 10, 2011 at 7:17 pm

            that is total shame there. My sister used to drive me crazy with NKOTB.. now I use that as blackmail material lol.

            Thumb up Thumb down 0

    • chemchick
      June 24, 2011 at 10:34 pm

      I was skimming through the comments and read that last part as “…stuck in your head and NOT do jizz pops.”

      Thumb up Thumb down +1

  6. silhouette169
    June 24, 2011 at 1:04 pm

    Thank you so much for filing this in ‘Dead Things’
    I just wish some things would stay dead.

    Thumb up Thumb down +18

  7. freckleyredhead
    June 24, 2011 at 1:05 pm

    I’m pulling up a chair for this one – should be fun!

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  8. freckleyredhead
    June 24, 2011 at 1:06 pm
    • tokudama
      June 24, 2011 at 1:09 pm

      dammit, I was going to do the sock monkey!

      Thumb up Thumb down +6

      • HisOtherEar
        June 24, 2011 at 1:16 pm

        I’m confused. If it’s OOAK, how come you can get it in two different varnishes? It says it’s varnished in gloss varnish, but then says you can have it either way.

        Thumb up Thumb down +8

        • AnEnchantedNotion
          June 24, 2011 at 1:46 pm

          On Etsy, One Of A Kind just means that your roomful of identical objects is slightly different from the other extremely similar things other people are selling.
          It’s like crafttard vocab for “mine is different than yours.”

          Thumb up Thumb down +10

    • dobegrrrl
      June 24, 2011 at 1:14 pm

      Ok, that is kinda cute. Of all the MJ “crafts” that I would never buy, that is one that I wouldn’t buy the least.

      Or would by the most.

      Wait, is an MJ sock monkey racist? because if it is, I might have to flounce…

      Thumb up Thumb down +23

      • tokudama
        June 24, 2011 at 1:15 pm

        well, did you see the madonna one?

        Thumb up Thumb down +5

      • freckleyredhead
        June 24, 2011 at 1:16 pm

        Sock monkeys frighten me.

        Thumb up Thumb down +16

        • aliceblue
          June 24, 2011 at 1:32 pm

          Have always creeped me out too; worse than clowns.

          Thumb up Thumb down +4

        • Rad Bromance
          June 24, 2011 at 2:10 pm

          I always just thought they were ugly, but I can see how they’d be creepy.

          Thumb up Thumb down +5

        • stars15k
          June 24, 2011 at 4:59 pm

          Same here. Not as bad as cymbal-playing bug-eyed, teeth-showing mechanical monkey toys. Or clowns.

          Thumb up Thumb down +9

      • angelbuttons77
        June 24, 2011 at 1:35 pm

        I think THAT sock monkey is racist…..it looks like a combo of a sock monkey and the racist postcards we’ve seen…..

        Thumb up Thumb down +9

      • Sensible Madness
        June 24, 2011 at 1:42 pm

        It’s a Thriller-era Michael Jackson sock monkey, so yes it’s racist. Had it been a HIStory-era Michael Jackson sock monkey, it would have been fine.

        Thumb up Thumb down +12

    • terriwells
      June 24, 2011 at 1:17 pm

      Proof that an item can be well-made and totally tacky and tasteless at the same time (and not in a good way), if there ever was any doubt.

      Thumb up Thumb down +14

      • kimoutre
        June 24, 2011 at 2:31 pm

        At least she spelled y’all’s correctly!

        Thumb up Thumb down +5

      • Multi Flavin
        June 24, 2011 at 1:48 pm

        The only thing more awesome than this recycling nightmare is the bathroom where the photo was taken.

        And the wet towels slopped into the tub.

        Thumb up Thumb down +9

        • stephsparkle
          June 24, 2011 at 2:20 pm

          I totally missed the bathroom decor first time. Wow. A new low.

          Thumb up Thumb down +4

        • biologygrrrl
          June 24, 2011 at 4:59 pm

          First, gotta love the Spiderman shampoo!
          Second, I knew that bathroom looked vaguely familiar – this is the My Little Pony necklace seller, the one with the item back story about ponies and feathers procreating that is sure to give you a contact high just from reading it. And hey – there’s that Spiderman shampoo again!
          http://www.etsy.com/listing/52078069/ponies-and-feathers-true-love-forever

          Thumb up Thumb down +7

      • OnlyALass
        June 24, 2011 at 2:01 pm

        I love the smug look on his face (the part we can see, anyway). “Hellz YEAH! Imma sell a bunch of these, move outta Ma and Pop’s guest house and it’s gonna be SWEEET!”

        D-bag with a fugly necklace.

        Thumb up Thumb down +6

        • kimoutre
          June 24, 2011 at 2:33 pm

          I love how his lips randomly got glossy in the thire pic.

          Thumb up Thumb down +2

      • Mapleleaves
        June 24, 2011 at 2:35 pm

        Joseph Auvray had better be DAMN glad the artist’s boyfriend agreed to take these pictures. The second shot is clearly his “your butt is mine, and not in anyway you’ll enjoy” face.

        Thumb up Thumb down +4

      • inmediasres
        June 24, 2011 at 2:50 pm

        “my version of origami paper beads” = Etsy-ese for “I don’t know what the hell ‘origami’ means, nor do I know how to make paper beads. So I just rolled some paper up and you’ll damn-well like it.”

        Thumb up Thumb down +11

      • rawrf
        June 24, 2011 at 3:06 pm

        If you can’t wear it in the hot tub, I’m not interested.

        Thumb up Thumb down +8

      • Postmenopaws ™
        June 24, 2011 at 3:12 pm

        Browsing this seller’s shop has taught me a lot about crapfting for Etsy: You can string any ol’ shit onto a large goldtone chain, and some idiot will buy it.

        Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a dozen junk-drawers to clean out so that I can festoon the m’asses.

        Thumb up Thumb down +17

        • Mrs.Vagoo
          June 25, 2011 at 3:22 am

          The necklaces look like they are trying to hard to be high fashion, but you can’t sell that to ordinary folks. Who is going to wear these things? A huge bouquet of fake roses hanging on a big-ass chain at about crotch-level? I don’t know who lives the kind of life that that is feasible. The shame is the drawings she has in her shop are charming.

          Thumb up Thumb down +1

      • themizduck
        June 24, 2011 at 3:56 pm

        Wow, George Michael wearing a a Michael Jackson “necklace” …that just makes no sense at all. No wonder it’s on etsy ;)

        Thumb up Thumb down +5

  9. K`shandra
    June 24, 2011 at 1:07 pm

    I’m a fan. Yeah, I get that not everyone is or was. And yeah, portions of his life were a hot mess. But I wanted to thank you for focusing on the hot mess of Etsy “tributes” rather than the weird shit MJ did in his life (or the weird shit everyone thinks he did).

    Thumb up Thumb down +24

  10. wagonmomma
    June 24, 2011 at 1:09 pm

    Sadly – this painting is quite accurate.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

    • tokudama
      June 24, 2011 at 1:09 pm

      I have a feeling that this painting might be linked a lot today…

      Thumb up Thumb down +4

    • Daisy
      June 24, 2011 at 1:36 pm

      And yet it’s still poorly done.

      Thumb up Thumb down +1

  11. Queenofsnark
    June 24, 2011 at 1:10 pm

    I’m guessing that the (former) Representative Weiner will mark the day by burning a vinyl copy of the song “Man In The Mirror.”

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  12. ursusknittus
    June 24, 2011 at 1:10 pm

    even in death he is being made a mockery for financial gain… I wonder what Elizabeth Taylor would say… I guess MJ can just ask her now.

    wait, was that in bad taste? oops, I’ve had like six beers and I’m feelin’ no shame… or pain.

    Thumb up Thumb down +17

    • Bajingo Bajongo
      June 24, 2011 at 1:12 pm

      Nah, not in bad taste yet. Drink more.

      Thumb up Thumb down +16

      • ursusknittus
        June 24, 2011 at 1:22 pm

        don’t mind if I do… glug glug… Gotta love Blue Moon Summer Honey Wheat

        Thumb up Thumb down +5

      • kimoutre
        June 24, 2011 at 2:35 pm

        Hey, Bajingo, I think that’s one of the Principles of Regretsy.

        Thumb up Thumb down +5

    • K`shandra
      June 24, 2011 at 2:08 pm

      I figured he met her in the Hereafter with a look that said “You didn’t have to come visit so soon….”

      Thumb up Thumb down 0

    • aliceblue
      June 24, 2011 at 3:57 pm

      Just seem practical to me.

      Thumb up Thumb down 0

  13. freckleyredhead
    June 24, 2011 at 1:15 pm

    I remember studying about “flashbulb memories” in psych class. It’s the concept that there are certain events which are so significant that everyone in your generation can remember exactly where they were when it happened; the event is burned into your brain like a flashbulb going off. For my generation, it was the Challenger explosion.

    Sadly, for one generation, their flashbulb memory will be when MJ died.

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

    • FlouncestheDrivingCat
      June 24, 2011 at 1:45 pm

      Sadly, my memory will be weeks of turning on the TV, opening the paper and screaming, he’s fucking dead, you can STFU now!

      Thumb up Thumb down +18

    • Adorable Foxie
      June 24, 2011 at 2:29 pm

      I dunno, I’ll always remember where I was, because my coworkers took me to Chili’s trying to get me tipsy before my last day of work at a finance company that was on the cusp of collapsing since the owner was really running a Ponzi scheme.

      Pretty darn epic, and MJ’s passing was just one of those little details that just made the night even more memorable.

      Thumb up Thumb down +9

    • kimoutre
      June 24, 2011 at 2:37 pm

      Yep, Challenger for me, too. I tend to think that a generation too young to remember 9/11 wouldn’t have a great attachment to MJ. Plus there’s been Bin Laden’s death since then.

      Thumb up Thumb down +7

    • Mapleleaves
      June 24, 2011 at 2:39 pm

      There was a Washington Redskins game going on when Pearl Harbor was attacked, and the announcers decided not to tell the crowds so they would have an extra hour or so of peacetime.

      So I really question the decision to announce, a couple minutes before the end of a close football game, that John Lennon had been shot.

      Thumb up Thumb down +10

    • Postmenopaws ™
      June 24, 2011 at 3:19 pm

      The next generation will have no idea what a flashbulb is.

      Thumb up Thumb down +31

    • ursusknittus
      June 24, 2011 at 3:26 pm

      For my generation it was the death of FDR. I was selling cabbages at my father’s store when the wailing began in the streets. Then we heard the terrible news. Wait… I’m frickin’ twenty thirty forty something…

      Seriously, I was two and a half when the challenger explosion occurred. My parents brought my siblings and I to the take off watching party with some of their friends at the kennedy. I don’t remember any of it, really, but the stories I was told growing up about being there, and then the video my father had gotten, that was pretty astounding to think. I would say my generation will have the September 11th attacks in New York and Washington DC as our flashbulb moment. I was putting needles into a dialysis patient, she had her little monitor on watching the morning news when it came on. I remember the scrubs I was wearing, the clothes she had on, she was in the corner seat by the sunny window, it was a bright morning. I stood there in shock.

      Thumb up Thumb down +7

    • faunablues
      June 24, 2011 at 3:54 pm

      Oh, I remember where I was when Michael Jackson died. I was trying to get the fuck out of Westwood.
      Later arrived at work (vet clinic), where the techs were discussing which veterinary drug he should have been taking (seriously, Propofol? it’s not much of a sleep aid when you’re only unconscious for 2 minutes)

      Thumb up Thumb down +15

      • K`shandra
        June 24, 2011 at 4:57 pm

        I hate to admit this, but your comment actually made me laugh. Bitterly, granted, but a laugh nonetheless.

        (One of my first phonecalls after the announcement was to my half-sister, who was a UCLA student at the time, and I was worried she’d be fucked for trying to get off campus.)

        Thumb up Thumb down +7

      • aliceblue
        June 24, 2011 at 10:27 pm

        Techs sound like people who should be on Regretsy.

        Thumb up Thumb down +1

    • ringerxo
      June 27, 2011 at 12:03 am

      For me, it was 9/11. I live 7 hours ahead of the US, so we found out at 4 PM. I remember coming home from school, skipping into the TV room (I managed to sneak the 3rd Harry Potter book by the teacher yet again), seeing my mom watching news with an utter look of horror on her face, and skipping out because that period of time was not exactly peaceful in Israel and I was used to seeing terrorist attacks. Only afterwards did my mom tell me that when we lived in NYC, she used to take the subway under the WTC every day to work.

      Thumb up Thumb down 0

  14. montanabama
    June 24, 2011 at 1:15 pm

    Dirt from Michael Jackson’s childhood home= dirt from my trailer park.

    Thriller cassette tape= cleaning my hoarded trailer; hit the early 80′s layer, need money for extensive repairs.

    Thumb up Thumb down +40

  15. dozcakir
    June 24, 2011 at 1:15 pm

    Isn’t that PRINCE on the necklace?!

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

    • fluffermom
      June 24, 2011 at 1:20 pm

      I was thinking how much it looked like Prince, too!

      Thumb up Thumb down 0

      • kimoutre
        June 24, 2011 at 2:39 pm

        Nope. Not even Micheal’s kid Prince.

        Thumb up Thumb down +2

    • lolalolita
      June 24, 2011 at 1:21 pm

      Yeah, I’m seeing Prince too

      Thumb up Thumb down 0

    • freckleyredhead
      June 24, 2011 at 1:23 pm

      No, it’s MJ in the early 80′s. Before all the plastic surgery disasters.

      Thumb up Thumb down +12

      • lolalolita
        June 24, 2011 at 1:26 pm

        oh yeah, that Michael Jackson!!!
        damn he changed!!!

        Thumb up Thumb down +2

        • fluffermom
          June 24, 2011 at 1:45 pm

          I saw Michael on some daytime show, when he was the youngest member of The Jackson Five, performing “ABC.” He was so cute.

          Still not sure what happened.

          Thumb up Thumb down +7

        • AnEnchantedNotion
          June 24, 2011 at 1:51 pm

          He was raised in showbiz. Just look at the Olsen twin’s decline and imagine where they’ll be when they’re 40+.

          Thumb up Thumb down +11

        • pearlheartgtr
          June 24, 2011 at 3:46 pm

          Dancing with poles near the airport?

          Thumb up Thumb down +11

      • pearlheartgtr
        June 24, 2011 at 2:18 pm

        When he was still black.

        Thumb up Thumb down +6

      • inmediasres
        June 24, 2011 at 2:56 pm

        Yeah, you can tell for sure when you look at the third pic on the listing. It’s too bad, though, because if the pictures on the bills HAD been Prince, it would have made it all that “muth” more fun to rip into.

        Thumb up Thumb down +5

      • aliceblue
        June 24, 2011 at 4:16 pm

        Here is some help for you youngsters out there and for collectors trying to decide which “stage” MJ memento to buy.

        Thumb up Thumb down +10

        • biologygrrrl
          June 24, 2011 at 5:04 pm

          Beige. Took me a second. My brain read “neigh” and I was trying to find the horse in the picture.

          Thumb up Thumb down +9

        • aliceblue
          June 24, 2011 at 5:35 pm

          Oops, sorry – was overwhelmed by weird.

          Thumb up Thumb down +1

    • freckleyredhead
      June 24, 2011 at 1:21 pm

      It’s very sparkly.

      Thumb up Thumb down +1

    • Multi Flavin
      June 24, 2011 at 1:50 pm

      I can’t even see his face in that one.

      Thumb up Thumb down +1

    • JesterKat
      June 24, 2011 at 2:12 pm

      And they used MICROBREW bottle caps, ooooh, how can I resist?

      Thumb up Thumb down +2

    • SpyGlassez
      June 24, 2011 at 6:29 pm

      Yes, but are they organic guinea hens handfed by the artiste on her kale farm? I cannot buy without knowing these important details!

      Thumb up Thumb down +3

  16. redbarnus
    June 24, 2011 at 1:19 pm

    Wait, Michael Jackson as Cinderella?

    I can actually kind of imagine that.

    Okay, I just totally freaked myself out.

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

    • Queenofsnark
      June 24, 2011 at 1:22 pm

      That might be better than the version with Brandy. I loved the rest of the cast. Well. There was also Whitney Houston, being, um. Whitney.

      Thumb up Thumb down +4

      • AnEnchantedNotion
        June 24, 2011 at 2:00 pm

        Loved the music from that. I just hated that they went so overboard on the PC casting. I mean, are we really supposed to believe that a white king (Victor Garber) and a black queen (Whoopi Goldberg) somehow produced an Asian son (Paolo Montalban) who marries a Black woman (Brandi Norwood) who is the (step)daughter of a white woman (Bernadette Peters) who has one white and one black daughter?

        Take some biology classes, pretty please.

        Thumb up Thumb down +3

        • kimoutre
          June 24, 2011 at 2:44 pm

          I actually loved the random casting. It’s a fairy tale, anyway, so why not? I also loved the set of the stepmother’s house and furniture.

          This is the one VCR tape I kept from my daughter’s kiddie movies.

          Thumb up Thumb down +6

        • F. Delsarte (3 Grecian urns and a facepalm)
          June 24, 2011 at 7:10 pm

          It’s not PC casting. It was color-blind casting, a fairly common theatre convention.

          Thumb up Thumb down +8

    • desertsongdog
      June 24, 2011 at 1:23 pm

      But why is he in the carriage sideways? Does that symbolize his death or something?

      Thumb up Thumb down +5

      • kimoutre
        June 24, 2011 at 2:44 pm

        That’s how the picture fit. Duh. Not like they could resize it or anything.

        Thumb up Thumb down +9

  17. desertsongdog
    June 24, 2011 at 1:19 pm

    If we take a hit of Propofol we’ll be unconscious. Then again, maybe that’s the best way to appreciate these crafts.

    Thumb up Thumb down +20

    • Postmenopaws ™
      June 24, 2011 at 3:24 pm

      The ultimate Jesus Juice.

      Thumb up Thumb down +2

  18. tokudama
    June 24, 2011 at 1:20 pm
    • lolalolita
      June 24, 2011 at 1:22 pm

      that’s going to be one confused kid when he grows up

      Thumb up Thumb down +3

    • wagonmomma
      June 24, 2011 at 1:27 pm

      He’s getting into kids beds even after death.
      (I’m sorry, I had to say it. Thumbs down away!)

      Thumb up Thumb down +40

    • Desert Blooms
      June 24, 2011 at 1:36 pm

      So now MJ can be on kids’ laps, instead of the other way around…

      Thumb up Thumb down +11

    • AnEnchantedNotion
      June 24, 2011 at 1:59 pm

      This is appropriate if you named your child after Michael Jackson. If that’s the case, however, you should be shot.

      Thumb up Thumb down +9

    • K`shandra
      June 24, 2011 at 2:10 pm

      …dude, SHE GOT THE KIDS’ NAMES WRONG.

      (I’ll see myself out.)

      Thumb up Thumb down +10

  19. Queenofsnark
    June 24, 2011 at 1:20 pm

    I am supremely glad that no photographic evidence remains of me, wearing my white painter’s cap with I heart Michael Jackson emblazoned across the front in lipstick red.

    Thumb up Thumb down +20

  20. Desert Blooms
    June 24, 2011 at 1:22 pm

    Don’t you know the sidewalk chalk tribute is a reference to his sister Janet’s 1989 hit, “Mith you Muth”?

    Thumb up Thumb down +20

    • lolalolita
      June 24, 2011 at 1:23 pm

      I didn’t realize Janet had a speech impediment till now.

      Thumb up Thumb down +14

      • kimoutre
        June 24, 2011 at 2:51 pm

        Janet After the Dentist…er, Dentith.

        Thumb up Thumb down +3

    • tiny giraffe
      June 24, 2011 at 3:16 pm

      It’s Mith Jackthon, if you’re nathty.

      Thumb up Thumb down +28

      • kimoutre
        June 24, 2011 at 7:47 pm

        You got me with that one, Tiny Giraffe. And it’s not easy to make me literally LOL.

        Thumb up Thumb down +4

        • tiny giraffe
          June 24, 2011 at 9:05 pm

          Aww, thanks! I was never a literal LOLer until I found this site. Glad I could give a little back.

          Thumb up Thumb down +4

  21. jordan
    June 24, 2011 at 1:25 pm

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

    • desertsongdog
      June 24, 2011 at 1:52 pm

      I didn’t realize MJ and Veronica Cartwright knew each other.

      Thumb up Thumb down 0

  22. gidget1212
    June 24, 2011 at 1:26 pm

    If that dirt/cassette tape ribbon thing was gifted to me (because there’s no way I’d ever spend $100 on that) I would go to extreme lengths trying to figure out if Thriller is actually what is on that tape. I’m betting it’s not.

    Thumb up Thumb down +18

    • Bajingo Bajongo
      June 24, 2011 at 3:09 pm

      You just KNOW it’s a mix tape from this chick’s 8th grade boyfriend.

      Thumb up Thumb down +12

      • pearlheartgtr
        June 24, 2011 at 3:49 pm

        Or a mix tape she’d made for her imaginary boyfriend.

        Thumb up Thumb down +9

  23. jordan
    June 24, 2011 at 1:27 pm

    This is my favorite: I love it so muth.

    OH MY GOD WOULD YOU PEOPLE STOP POSTING! You are fucking up all my jokes that I have carefully planned out for the whole day!

    THANK YOU

    -hk

    Thumb up Thumb down +28

    • tokudama
      June 24, 2011 at 1:32 pm

      I think this one wins, mostly because of the other views of the product.

      Thumb up Thumb down +4

      • desertsongdog
        June 24, 2011 at 1:51 pm

        And it’s only $3.70! It’s worth it for the time you’d save trying to Photoshop/GIMP it yourself.

        Thumb up Thumb down +2

    • angelbuttons77
      June 24, 2011 at 1:42 pm

      This would only be better if it were MJ and a VINTAGE photo of you….or of Gary Busse.

      Thumb up Thumb down +2

    • desertsongdog
      June 24, 2011 at 2:30 pm

      Thumb up Thumb down +12

  24. fluffermom
    June 24, 2011 at 1:28 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -16

    • fluffermom
      June 24, 2011 at 1:29 pm

      Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

      Thumb up Thumb down -12

      • fluffermom
        June 24, 2011 at 1:54 pm

        Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

        Thumb up Thumb down -7

        • NanaB
          June 24, 2011 at 2:02 pm

          If you are trying to get feedback on an item not related to this topic, I’d suggest you go up and register on the forum. That’s the appropriate place to do that. You won’t annoy people, you won’t get thumbs downed, and you might get some help in finding out how to post a link or a picture.

          Thumb up Thumb down +16

        • AnEnchantedNotion
          June 24, 2011 at 2:03 pm

          Her entire shop could be a Regretsy feature!

          Thumb up Thumb down +6

        • fluffermom
          June 24, 2011 at 2:37 pm

          Cool, NanaB. Thanks!

          Thumb up Thumb down +8

    • desertsongdog
      June 24, 2011 at 1:35 pm

      I like it! It’s cute and appropriate!

      Thumb up Thumb down +16

      • angelbuttons77
        June 24, 2011 at 1:42 pm

        me too – it’s Thriller MJ!!!

        Thumb up Thumb down +8

      • Menopausalmaniac
        June 24, 2011 at 2:24 pm

        Reminds me of Stewie from Family Guy doing a MJ impersonation! Love it!

        Thumb up Thumb down +10

    • tokudama
      June 24, 2011 at 1:52 pm

      What I like about this is that it’s not a low-resolution photo printed out at home and glued to something.

      Thumb up Thumb down +15

    • inmediasres
      June 24, 2011 at 3:08 pm

      What? No, that one is AWETHOME.

      Thumb up Thumb down +8

    • Postmenopaws ™
      June 24, 2011 at 3:38 pm

      “These are the new rage.”

      So that’s what that feeling is…?

      (Not about this little item. No, this little item is cute.)

      Thumb up Thumb down +6

      • aliceblue
        June 24, 2011 at 4:24 pm

        I agree. Item is tolerable but “new rage?” I don’t quite see it as the next i-Pad.

        Thumb up Thumb down +1

    • SpyGlassez
      June 24, 2011 at 6:30 pm

      That one sucks the least of any of them, IMHO.

      Thumb up Thumb down +1

    • HisOtherEar
      June 24, 2011 at 1:39 pm

      The weirdest thing about that is how the seller writes the item descriptions as letters to the item itself.

      Thumb up Thumb down +10

      • AnEnchantedNotion
        June 24, 2011 at 2:05 pm

        And what does “Women’s Sizing Bracelet Size Enjoy this bracelet,” mean?

        Thumb up Thumb down +13

        • desertsongdog
          June 24, 2011 at 2:14 pm

          “Engrish Not The Language of First Happy Beautiful”?

          Thumb up Thumb down +22

    • OnlyALass
      June 24, 2011 at 2:13 pm

      “I would recommend this for ages 7 and up because the beads are larger.”

      Or, rather, the Target kiddy DIY craft kit from which the materials were purloined for this travesty has a recommended age of 7 and up.

      My 7 year old can make this, AND she can spell “Michael.”

      Thumb up Thumb down +10

    • aliceblue
      June 24, 2011 at 2:46 pm

      Yes, is lame. If they were like this seller everyone with zombie items could just say it was Thriller inspired and the BJ initial person (for those of you who recall) could say it was Billie Jean inspired, etc.

      Thumb up Thumb down +3

    • inmediasres
      June 24, 2011 at 3:10 pm

      My brain is going to explode if I see the name Michael spelled as Micheal any more today.

      That’s actually the funny part about the sidewalk chalk. The person can spell Michael, but not much. Wow.

      Thumb up Thumb down +4

  25. tokudama
    June 24, 2011 at 1:30 pm

    This “art oil painting” should be purchased with this book.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

    • nikkipook
      June 24, 2011 at 1:42 pm

      Thumb up Thumb down +8

      • desertsongdog
        June 24, 2011 at 2:01 pm

        Does it include a recipe for Jesus Juice?

        Thumb up Thumb down +2

        • desertsongdog
          June 24, 2011 at 2:06 pm

          DERP! I did not see that it actually says it includes a recipe for Jesus Juice the first time I looked at it.

          Thumbs me down! I can take it!

          Thumb up Thumb down +4

  26. joshpincusiscrying
    June 24, 2011 at 1:40 pm

    And yet, LaToya still lives.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  27. notcrafty
    June 24, 2011 at 2:30 pm

    You may think $100 for dirt seems out-of-line but, given the risk one takes by being outside their vehicle in Gary IN long enough to get said dirt, I’d say it’s a fair price.

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

    • Anonemoosity
      June 24, 2011 at 11:35 pm

      I’m amazed that the seller didn’t get shot when they were digging up the dirt.

      Thumb up Thumb down 0

    • inmediasres
      June 24, 2011 at 3:15 pm

      And the eyes are circa Close Encounters of the Third Kind? Surely he had irises?

      Thumb up Thumb down +13

  28. pearlheartgtr
    June 24, 2011 at 2:37 pm
  29. pearlheartgtr
    June 24, 2011 at 2:41 pm
    • lemon_bombs
      June 24, 2011 at 2:47 pm

      As performed by Alvin Chipmunk….

      Thumb up Thumb down +16

    • inmediasres
      June 24, 2011 at 3:19 pm

      Did he raid Freddie Mercury’s closet?

      And… his hand. What. is. wrong. with. his. hand.?

      Thumb up Thumb down +15

      • aliceblue
        June 24, 2011 at 5:42 pm

        The one with the bandages or the one sticking out of his chest?

        Thumb up Thumb down +8

    • aliceblue
      June 24, 2011 at 5:39 pm

      A great book (the Pressed Fairies) but this is too weird.

      Thumb up Thumb down +2

    • SpyGlassez
      June 24, 2011 at 6:33 pm

      If you use psykopaint (http://www.psykopaint.com/), you can make arts like this, too!

      Thumb up Thumb down +1

  30. aliceblue
    June 24, 2011 at 4:33 pm

    Am I the only one that finds this adult MJ looking at boy MJ unsettling?

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

    • aliceblue
      June 24, 2011 at 4:42 pm

      The description doesn’t improve it either. “touched by” and his “constant desire to return to childhood…” Yeah, that’s what the desire is for.
      Also, this $450 art work is a “must keepsake” – no regifting.

      Thumb up Thumb down +7

  31. WTFWhimsicleGlitter
    June 24, 2011 at 4:43 pm

    I read the second one as “Horse and Carnage” and didn’t think it was weird.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  32. sunnychapman
    June 26, 2011 at 9:45 am

    Is is that hard to put a photo in right side up? Not so muth…..

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

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